Mothers day ebook

For Mom's Everywhere

Preface / Introduction

Sunday is Mother's Day 2012, Mothers come together to celebrate what they do each and every dayof their lives. I would like to dedicate this to my own mother Edith D. Arpy who left this worldmuch to soon. Edith Darlene Arpy born Feb.7,1934-died July 2,1975. I love you mom, and miss youso much!

Table of Contents

1. And she asked me 'Was I a good mother... ?' Mothers Day, Sunday May 8, 2011. 2. It's time you were treated like a queen -- or king -- for (at least) a day. You've waited long enough. 3. My most memorable Mother's Day... a tenacious memory that tugs at my heart and may touchyours.

And she asked me 'Was I a good mother... ?' Mothers Day,Sunday May 8, 2011. by Dr. Jeffrey Lant

Today is Mother's Day in the United States. It occurred just the other day in England... and willoccur around the globe at various times all year long as millions of people make a point of honoringmother and making this day special for her. Those of us whose mother has passed on will take timethis day for remembrance... turning this into a day of bittersweet joy and sorrow. There will betears... but there will be smiles, too, as we recall every aspect of Mom with all the memories wecherish so. Yes, there most assuredly will be smiles, too... for Mom, even if gone, still has the powerto lighten our lives and soothe us, just as she did so often once upon a time...

Anna Jarvis and the creation of Mother's Day, 1914.

There have, of course, been mothers' days as long as there have been mothers. Kind-hearted fathersand grateful children undoubtedly saw to that... but one woman wanted more for mothers than acasual, occasional compliment. Her name was Anna Jarvis and she is the reason you are dropping byyour mom's today, your arms full of spring flowers and a myriad of affectionate tokens.

Anna Jarvis was born May 1, 1864 in Webster, Taylor County, West Virginia. She was the ninth ofeleven children born to Ann Marie and Granville Jarvis. From childhood Anna idolized her mother,and she often heard her say that she hoped someone one day would establish a memorial for allmothers, living and dead.

Anna always recalled one particular incident that drove home her mother's unceasing message. Thisincident occurred during a class prayer given by Mrs. Jarvis in Anna's receptive presence. Mrs.Jarvis' lesson was on "Mothers of the Bible". She closed the lesson with the prayer "I hope thatsomeone, sometime will found a memorial mothers day commemorating her for the matchlessservice she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it."

Anna was just 12 years old... and not only did she never forget; she dedicated her life to achievingher mother's desire. We can now see the contours of this story. Mrs. Jarvis, kept perpetuallypregnant, laboring under a mountain of never- ending work, with a husband who never understoodall she did and how much he relied upon her... and a daughter completely receptive to her mother'surgent plea for recognition, assistance, and above all else -- love. Mrs. Ann Marie Jarvis poured it allinto her daughter's dutiful ears... and whatever her resentments, disappointments and moments ofchagrin... here at least she was abundantly rewarded. Her darling Anna saw to that...

After her mother's death on May 9, 1905, Anna, now living with siblings Claude and Lillie, beganher life's work, to create a day that would fulfill her mother's fervid desire. Fueled by love and theimage of her overworked, under loved (but never by Anna) mother... Anna put her active pen topaper, determined to achieve her goal of establishing a nationwide observance of Mother's Day.Nothing was going to stop her, and so from love came the focused, unceasing activity that movesmountains. She bombarded hundreds of legislators, executives, and businessmen on both state andnational levels.

Everyone was polite, muttering general words of support... but, despite her efforts and her skills as anotable and motivating speaker, Anna Jarvis was making no progress. Then one of the greatestmarketers in history, John Wanamaker, merchant prince, entrepreneur, philanthropist heard Annaand saw at once that her idea was good for Wanmaker's, good for business, good for America, andgood for mothers everywhere. It was a win-win situation all round...

http://www.Ddohrn.com Copyright Diane Dohrn - 2012 4 of 12


http://www.Ddohrn.com

With the inventive genius, power, influence and energy of John Wanamaker (1838-1922) behindher, Anna Jarvis and her idea moved onwards and upwards at incredible speed. On May 10, 190815,000 folks eager to Honor Thy Mother showed up at Wanamaker's Store Auditorium inPhiladelphia to hear Anna Jarvis speak. 10,000 of them had to be turned away for lack of room... Itwas a magnificent event... thereafter success followed success, Wanamaker saw to that; he was adynamo of a man, success his birthright.

By 1909, 45 states, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, Canada and Mexico observed Mother's Day. People by themillions wore the white and red carnations the movement had adopted as a visible means of showingthat the wearer loved Mother and supported the cause. President Wilson proclaimed the firstnational Mother's Day in 1914. Everyone was happy now; a great goal had been achieved...everyone, that is, but Anna Jarvis.

Every time a florist sold a bouquet... every time a husband hard-pressed for time and with worries ofhis own bought a card... every time anyone made a buck off her Mother's Day, Anna Jarvis winced.And so as the number of participants grew into the millions, Jarvis who should have been thehappiest of all became the most miserable. This isn't at all what she had in mind for mothers... or thememory of her mother.

So began the sad decline of Anna Jarvis, the woman who now proceeded to burn every bridge andsunder her intimate connection to Mother's Day until with the death of her sister, she was entirelyalone... having nothing but memories and the assurance of her mother's love. And so she went on,bitter, alone, forgotten, neglected until at last she died, November 24, 1948, her mother's zealousdefender until the end...

... but too much so. I like to think that Anna's mother would have been glad for the card (even ifstore-bought), for the flowers (even if not picked from your own garden), and the candy you didn'thave time or talent to make... because each is a token of a love which cannot be celebrated toooften... the love of mother. And so if your mother is alive today, do something, anything, indicatingyou care.

And as you are lavishing these gifts on your one and only mother, give a thought to Anna Jarvis andher troubled spirit. She is the reason you have the happy task of turning this otherwise ordinary dayinto the reassurance your mother requires that yes, resoundingly yes, she was and yet is a goodmother, the best of all whatever her faults or limitations. All she really needs is to hear you say so....




It's time you were treated like a queen -- or king -- for (atleast) a day. You've waited long enough.Author's program note. Years ago there was a television program called "Queen for a Day" wheresome perfectly average Jane or Betty was selected by host Jack Bailey and got herself pampered fora memorable day she would never forget. Frankly, this is what we all need and, sad to say, theprogram is long gone.

Being the focus of an episode of "This is your life" (host Ralph Edwards) would have worked, too,but that also bit the dust in 1972; otherwise I'd recommend you as their next guest right this minute.Yikes! Where the number of opportunities for showcasing you should be rising, in fact they haveplummeted and that is very much the problem... and the reason for this ultra-necessary article.

To get this process underway I have selected one of Hollywood's most soaring scores... it's"Conquest" by Alfred Newman, commissioned for the 1947 film "Captain from Castile" starring oneof the great stars of the silver screen.... Tyrone Power. It's music in the grand tradition... and itbrightened the lives and put zip in the step of all who heard it. Since I was born in '47, I like to thinkmy mother was humming it in the delivery room. It certainly suits me.

Go to any search engine now and marinate yourself in its uplifting exuberance. Like I've been tryingto tell you; you deserve it. Got it on? Now we must craft an event worthy of the music... and of you!

You are not unwanted.... you are not unconsidered... but you are most assuredly uncelebrated andunheralded. And (let's be brutally frank with each other) that irritates, irks, and galls you, doesn't it,well doesn't it?

You work incredibly hard to keep home, hearth and happiness together, and you want more than theoccasional peck on the cheek, more than the Hallmark card with its pre-written message of banalityand over ripe sentimentality. Yes, you want more... more than the once-a-year visit to the wafflehouse for Mother's Day... or the lackluster seasonal greetings for Father's Day. You want more....you deserve more... and now with me as your self-appointed but supremely necessaryWizard-in-Chief, you shall have more.

The Plan.

You have been patient long enough. I think you know, too, further patience won't deliver the love-inthat you desire. You do know this, right? So, it's time for a radical change of ideas and a brand-newplan... what celebrated author Grace Paley called "enormous changes at the last minute." In short wemean to take business as usual and... trash it. Capiche? If not, I can assure you you'll have an "aha!"moment shortly.

Start from the proposition that no one (now that Bailey and Edwards and all their ilk are gone) isgoing to organize a day (or even two) in your honor, much less possess the skills to conceive, craft,and consummate it. As my beloved Grammy used to say, "If you want something done right, do ityourself." You know it's true, so don't pine too long over the fact that all the significant others inyour life (spouse, children, bowling buddies et al) went missing on this matter... just be glad it'shappening at all. And turn up the volume on "Conquest" for we are already behind in getting you justwhat you've waited for and wanted for, oh, so long.

The " to-do" llst.

* We need a date. And, dear friend, soonest... for if you put this off you will never do it!

* A venue. If you're broke (as millions most assuredly are in our thread-bare days), then it will have




to be at your residence. Nothing wrong with that. The oldest of olde English adages is "A man'shome is his castle." In these days of gender equality, the same must be said for "a woman's home."Got a few bucks? Then rent a function room at a local hotel. Remember, it's your day; it doesn'thappen every day, and you should approach it accordingly.

However, either way, you must have a place you can be proud of... for you can be sure your greatevent will attract shutter-bugs of every age.

* Enlist some help... your best friend Trudy or Bill will do nicely.

Your best friend already knows your oddities and idiosyncrasies, so this idea won't unhinge them.They'll just chuckle and say, "You, dog, you..." And wishing they'd thought up the idea, give you ahand. You'll need it.

When you're finished with these tasks, get down to business.

* Tackle the guest list. Just who do you want to attend? Remember, these events can range fromlong overdue soirees with just you and your significant other... to a "Hail to the Chief" event at theWhite House. It depends on what you well and truly want... and will work for. Either way you'llneed a guest list. Make sure to include that Ms. Nastiness of the accounts department. Sure you hateher guts.... but that's the point. Think how envious she'll be when the boss hands you an award and abushel of compliments. It'll be worth all the snide comments she'll surely make... But, she's makingthose already.

* About the award. You probably don't know this (it's just one reason why I'm such a valuablemember of your support team) but EVERY government body -- local, state, federal -- has a drawerfull of them... waiting just for your name and particular achievement to enter. My walls are full ofthem, and why should yours continue to be empty when it just takes knowing how to arrange mattersto give them a very different look... again to the monumental chagrin of Ms. Nastiness.

Have your helper send a note like this to the governor of your state, for instance. It reads so: "I amwriting to let you know that one of our state's true treasures -- your name -- is finally beingrecognized for a lifetime of unsung service. Her many friends are holding a recognition event on(date) and would welcome your attendance, to say a few words and present a certificate. We awaityour positive answer and thank you for your consideration."

Just how difficult are these citations to get? Well, the day before my brother married a beautifulOklahoma girl, my mother and I went to the capital building to see what we could see and learn thelore. It dawned on me I'd like to give them a special present at the rehearsal dinner that night. Inthree hours I had one from the State of Oklahoma, signed by its governor (on a Friday afternoon,mind). "Next time" said his excellency's efficient secretary as she handed it to me, "give us moretime", but as my brother and his bride are still happily yoked, I have not had further occasion toheed this advice. But it should be of benefit to you.

Your entry... your apotheosis.

Now it's time to consider what you'll wear, the cunning 'do that'll amplify your thinning locks... thelimousine that must transport you and where to get sufficient flower petals that will rain down uponyou in an entrance worthy of Norma Desmond. My unerring advice: within the parameters of yourbudget, do not stint. The objective is to augment your reputation and acknowledge a lifetime of oftenunknown services, without bankrupting you.

But in one thing you must be truly lavish: the way you look, acknowledge -- and in due coursepersonally thank -- all your guests. And here the ascending music of "Conquest", fit for anysovereign, must be played... for when you hear it, you will be at last what you have for a lifetime




desired to be: the apple of every eye, at last "the fairest of them all."

From the moment your chariot arrives (though it may only be a beat-up VW) wave, smile and waveagain, the very personification of joy and largesse to all, a monarch indeed, if only for the passinghour. Oh, yes, one more thing: the toast to you. Write it yourself, for only you know what it shouldsay and which of your many merits should be acclaimed. How I shall enjoy saying these thingsabout you knowing how well you deserve them...




My most memorable Mother's Day... a tenacious memory thattugs at my heart and may touch yours.by Dr. Jeffrey Lant

Author's program note. My mother is dead now. But I want you to know that hardly a day goes bywhen I don't think of her... not in some idealized fashion either. For she was a vibrant, beautifulcreature whose reality, for me, even if flawed, was more compelling than any fairy tale I might makeup. And as for charm, why she was a by-word for that; I knew that before I even knew what charmcould lead to. Some say that along with her penetrating eyes I inherited my full measure of thatcharm too. I leave that to you to find out.

This article is being written because it gives me the perfect opportunity to remember her... not justvaguely... but as she was and remains in my mind's eye, a real woman, my much loved and oftenargued with mother. Here I am able to indulge myself in the most profound memories, certain that Iam writing this article for you... not just for myself. And because the woman is important and theday I am recalling here one of the handful of truly special days of her life (so she often told meafterwards), I savor every word as I think it, write it, consider it, review it -- and if not perfect andexactly so, change it. For there is not a word here or even a comma that I can accept in any otherway. For you see, this was one of the handful of truly special days of my life... and I want you toshare it and know why.

Thomas Gray, treasured poet.

Where did my mother's love affair with England and her poets begin? I cannot say, but I can recallthat wherever we lived its premises were littered with the lyric beauty of the English language...where words mattered, where understanding them mattered, where using them to maximum effectmattered, and where a word was never an obstacle but a friend not yet known well enough, butwelcome for all that. As such, books, rarely closed, always open with makeshift book marks werefound in every room. We read as effortlessly as we breathed... and the splendor of languagesurrounded us, shaped us, sustained us... and no one more than my mother for whom poets wereaccounted special beings well deserving of the veneration they received from her... and in duecourse from me. And so the profound love between a mother and her first-born son was mademanifest in the poems we discovered and shared, the readings of such poems to each other, and themeanings we strove to find... especially for me when she was gone before. Then these bondsmattered most of all.

Thomas Gray, 26 December 1716 - 30 July 1771, just 54 years old.

Thomas Gray was born in Cornhill, London, the son of an exchange broker and a milliner. He wasthe fifth of 12 children... 11 of whom died in infancy. he smell of death permeated his young world...a constant visitor to his home, a constant reality where birth and mourning seemed inextricablylinked and inevitable. And so he grew up wondering whether his own expected demise was nigh,accelerated by his abusive father. This recurring thought shaped his life, his outlook, and his poems.Later in life Gray became known as one of the "Graveyard poets" of the late 18th century, along withOliver Goldsmith, William Cowper, and Christopher Smart. But for Gray this was not a pose; he hadbeen to the graveyard too often too early for that. Death and Gray were on intimate terms from thestart.

His sense of humor.

For all that Gray's life was turbulent and difficult, it had moments of unalloyed joy, not least becausehe had the valued knack of seeing the humorous side of even the most oppressive subjects. It is good




to see he skewered the masters of Peterhouse at Cambridge University as "mad with Pride" and theFellows of this College as "sleepy, drunken, dull, illiterate Things." It was the kind of thing I wroteto my college friends, too, and I knew the joy of such characterizations.

My mother knew I wrote these kinds of acid word pictures; I sent them to her, and she carefully tiedthem with ribbons adding her own often equally acid responses. These, too, bonded us; we laughedtogether. Too, there were other traits which may have made her see me in Gray: he spent his timeindoors, voracious reader, avoiding athletics and exercise of any kind. But when the companionshipof his friends was offered, he was a crowd pleaser with the apt, devastating mot at the ready. Grayand I might have been siblings; surely Kindred Spirits... she must have seen this... and if so haveapproved.

"Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard".

Thus, my mother traveled to England where I was then working on my first book and asked me toaccompany her to the setting of one of her favorite poems, the "Elegy" written slowly, painstakinglybetween 1742 and 1750. She had waited a lifetime for this excursion... and so she and I on Mother'sDay went hand-in-hand to the ancient village of Stoke Poges, to the churchyard of the Church ofEngland parish church of St. Giles. There great Gray's remains repose for the numberless ages, hismonument weathered, tilted, too much too illegible, special torment for this man of perfect wording.

We had come hence to see, to learn, to venerate.... and in the graveyard to read the "Elegy", together,in turn, lyrically, each word a pledge to love each other now and forever, though I didn't know itspurpose then.

She had her tattered, well thumbed Gray in hand, so did I.

So we commenced the reading, the first stanza hers by right to intone:

"The curfew tolls the knell of parting day/ The lowing herd wind slowly o'er the lea/ The ploughmanhomeward plods his weary way/ And leaves the world to darkness and to me."

We are borne on these words to the place we most want to be with the person in this sublimemoment we both wish most to be with.

Thus we walked and read together from the celebrated words which British General James Wolferead to his officers September 12, 1759 the day before he was killed in battle, saying "Gentlemen, Iwould rather have written that poem than take Quebec tomorrow." It was an admission made bythousands of those who have thrilled to these sonorous words and their eternal relevance tostruggling mankind.

'Far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife"

Now my mother has gone the way of all flesh, the way we all must trod in time. We know such anend is natural but that does not assuage the bitter grief and finality of the matter, particularly whenthe dear departed is one's mother. This loss is bitter indeed at whatever age it occurs.

Thomas Gray knew all this and in his beloved "Elegy", popular from the moment of publication,popular still, he gave us all the words we need to cope, find hope and resignation -- and the words ofremembrance and above all of love.

Thus whenever I miss her and want her near me in all her humanity and that dazzling smile I cannever forget, I take down from the clutter of my library her copy of Gray's "Elegy" and read it aloud,as we did that memorable Mother's Day so very long ago. Whenever possible I go to any searchengine and play Domenico Scarlatti's Sonata in D minor (published 1738). It was one of Gray'sfavorites and perfect accompaniment to his surgically precise words.




"The boast of heraldry, the pomp of power/ And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave/ Awaitsalike the inevitable hour/ The paths of glory lead but to the grave."

But not, with God's help and with Thomas Gray's, to the dark void of forgetfulness and oblivion.They have given us the joys of memory and the words we need to summon it --and our loved ones --at will and thus they live again in us.




ResourceAbout the Author Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a widerange of online services for small and-home based businesses. Dr. Lant is also the author of 18best-selling business books.

Republished with author's permission by Diane Dohrn http://Ddohrn.com.



http://Ddohrn.com


Education

Mothers day ebook