My Writings

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1. ThisisyourstoryYouvecomeearly,saidOmegasnappinghisbookshut.Hegotupfromthebenchasthebriskmorningwindblewonhisface.HaveI?askedAlpha,seatinghimselfonthebench.Omegasmiled,buthiseyeshadgrownweakwithhelplessness.Alphasensedsomethingoutofplace,sohelookedkeenlyatOmega,observingeverymovement.Omegaturnedandswiftlybeganwalkingenamalongthefootpath.Alphacontinuedsitting.Sensingthat,OmegainsistedWhywait,letsgoahead.Alphastoodupsurprisedandfollowedhim,strugglingtocatchupwithhispace.Theywalkedalongthebusygulliesandcryingcrowds.Theyfinallyreached.Omegaturnedandsaidwithhissmile,ThiswaswhereIfirstmetherhepausedandlookedatawall.ThiswasalsotheplacewhereIproposedtoher.Alphalookedaroundwherehestood.Infrontofhimlayawhitewashedwallwithlushgreencreepersonit.Thecreepershadtinyflowerssprinkledonitinmyriadofcolorsrangingfrompurewhitetocrimsonredtodeepviolet.Toonesidewasanunkeptbarrenlandwithwildbushesandonetamarindtree.Ontheothersidewasanabandonedbuildingwhosehollowinteriorswerevisiblebecauseitswindowswerebroken.Thisplacemakesmesoquiet.WhenImether,wordsfelttherankestofsuperfluities.Whenwemet,wejustknewwhatwehadtosay.Sowedidntsayitandjustsat,lookingintoeachothereyes,saidOmegaseatinghimselfontheparapetbuiltinfrontofthebuildinglookingatAlpha.Alphawasstilltryingtoimbibetheatmosphereoftheplace.Well,itisironic.Whenwebothcamehere,neithershenorIspoke.Buttheonlytimewedidspeak,itwasonlytotellherIlovedhernomore.Listeningtothis,AlphaturnedhisgazedowntoOmegawhowaslookingatthemudonhisshoe.Alphaslidhishandintohisjacket.No,letsnotrush.Thathasitstime.Omegacalledoutpointingatthehandinthejacket.Alpha,whowaspickingouthiswaterbottle,sliditbackintohisjacketbeforehecouldevenbringitout.Alphasaidinhislowvoice,Mysisterwasdeartome.Shetoldmeshelovedyou.AfterIgottoknowyou,Ifeltshewouldbehappywithyou.Iwaswillingtogivehertoyou.Butyouchangedyourmind.ButinsteadoftellingheryouStopitthere.IhadmyreasonstodowhatIdid.YesImademistakes.Butthatwasnoreasonforhertoleaveme.Ilovedher.Istilldo.Sheleftmethen,saidOmegasharply.Hehadlosthissmileandhestoodup.Alphalookedathim,straightintheeye.Hethenturnedhisgazetothebuildingonhisright.Helookedattheemptinessinside.Sothatswhereitisgoingtohappen?askedOmegalookingintothebuilding.Doyouthinkso?askedAlpha.Omegaputonhissmileagainandturnedtothebuilding.Alphafollowedhimashejumpedintoawindowandgotintothebuilding.Theystoodinsidealargeemptyshellofbrownandblackmetal.Theglassesofalmostallthewindowswereshattered.Themetalroofwashighabove,looming 2. aroundthemlikeabrownrustedsky.Astheywalked,theirfootstepsechoeddeeplyinthehollowspacearoundthem.YoursistertriedtogetbacktomeevenwhenIdidnotwantherto.Iwasdeepinmyownproblemsthen.Itwasbadtimeforme.Ihadnotimeforher.Itoldherthat.Butshewasreluctanttolisten,Omegaproclaimed.Shewassad.VerySad.ThatisallIknow,saidAlphawalkingalong.Omegastoppedwalkingandturnedbacktolookaround.Sowherearewedoingit?Doingwhat?askedAlpha.Omegaheavedaheavybreath.Stopthisnonsense.Iknowhowyouwantitwithyourappreciationforaesthetics.Youwantitalllikeagreatstory.Youwouldhavebuiltsomeintricateschemetomakethisalllooklikeamovie,hesaidlookingaround.HmmmsaidAlphastartledbytheresponseandlookedaroundtoo.Itslowlyturnedamusing.Herandomlypickedanobjectatadistance.Hefixedhisgazeatametalstaircaseatadarkcornerthatledtoaplatform,abouttenfeetabovethedustyfloortheywereon.OmegasaidJustlikeyoursisterandstaredattheplatformabove.Iknewyoulikethingstobedramatic.OmegamovedtowardsthestaircaseandAlphafollowedthinkingaboutwhathesaid.AstheywalkedheaskedOmegacasuallyDoyoulikeplayingalongmyscheme?Omegadidnotreply.Theyreachedthestaircaseandaperiodofloomingsilenceprevailed.OmegawalkedupthestaircaseandsaidYoursisternolongerlovedmewhenwemetthelasttime.Shewasangry.Ihadnotseenherthatwayever.Alphalistenedcarefully.IhadtotalktoherasIwantedtogetbackmythings.IntheblurofloveIlegallyregisteredsomeofmypossessionsontohername.IneededthembacktosettletheproblemsIwasgoingthrough.Butshedidnotlisten,saidOmegaastheyreachedtheplatform.Thetwostoodonthedustymetalplatform.Whendidyoutalk?askedAlphablankly.Hedidnotknowaboutthisevent.Oh,youknowwhen,saidOmega.When?askedAlpha.Hishandwasshakingnow.Hisheartsteadilypickedupspeed.Hesensedsomethingdubious.Omegasighedadeepbreathandsaid,Whenwemetatthebridgetwitchinghisshoulders.Youwereatthebridge?askedAlpha,nowhiseardrumsmovedwiththepulseofhisheartandhisneckgrewstiff.OfcourseIwasatthebridge,saidOmegaandquicklysaidblurtedIdonotwanttospeakaboutthat.Doyoureallywanttohearwhatyoualreadyknow?Omegasaidchuckling.Alphaheldhimselfwithgritandshotoutallhisanguishinamoment.Hesaid,Yes.ThestatementhitOmegalikedynamite.Hissmilecollapsedandhiseyeslaydeadgazingintoavoid.Aftersometime,Alphaspoke,breakingthesilence.Mysistercommittedsuicide.Shejumpedoffthebridgeintotheriver.Whatelsedoyouknow?Omegastayedquiet.AlphamovedswiftlytowardsOmegaandsaidholdinghiscollarWhydidshekillherself?OmegastruggledinAlphashold.Whywouldshe?Dontactlikeafool.Sheneverwantedtokillherself,Omegaspokeferociously.Alphalefthimandreceded.Heaskedlowly,Whathappenedatthebridge?Afulfilledwindblewthroughthehollowinteriorsraisingthedust.Omegaturned 3. andmovedtowardstherailingoftheplatformsend.Whathappenedatthebridge?Alphaburstoutscreaming.Omegaimpulsivelybrokeout,Whatdoyouwant?ShestartedyellingatmeandIgotterriblypissedandIpushedheroffandLord,whydoaskmetotellyouthesamethingagainandagainandOmegacontinuedhisblabber.AcausticpainrosethroughAlphaschest.Allheheardwasthepoundingofhisheart.Hismindflashedimagesofhisdearsister.Butinfrontofhimlaythemanwhoherealizedkilledher.Thewindpickeduppace,andmoredustwasraisedintotheair.OmegastaredatthefloorunderneathandsaidIhavehatedmyselfforallthatIdid.Minutesofstrainedsilenceprevailed.SuddenlyOmegaheardAlphachucklefrombehindhim.Omegaraisedhishead.Ignoranceissometimesintolerable.Itsmakesonedesperatetoeducatetheother.Omegalookedstraightcontemplating,listeningtothevoicebehindhiminuttersurprise.YoudidntknowIpushedher,saidOmegastuttering.Omegaturnedatonce.Asheflunghisshouldertotheotherside,ahandpushedhisothershoulderwithforceandhelosthisstance.Heslippedonthedustyfloorandjustashisbodysank,therailingpressedhiswaist,pivotinghisbodydowntheplatform.Justashisbodymovedtothrowitselftenfeetdown,withthefulcrumattherailing,twohandsheldeithersidesofhiscollar,keepinghimaholdawayfromdeath.Hesquealedlikeacat.Alpha,holdingOmegascollar,said,Shhdontshout.Ihadnoplantodoanything,butyougotmehereandensuredithappened.Icametotellyouitwasnotyourfault.Ithoughtsheendedherself.OmegalookedatAlphasjacket.AndyouthoughtIhadaguninmyjacket.Itsastupidbottle,Alphascreamedshudderingthehangingbody.Omegashuthiseyesinfear.Alphatightenedtheclaspofthecollar.Hisarmsheldthefallingbodysteadily.Openyoureyes.Omegaopenedthem.Nowyoutellme.Yougotmetodoallthis.Alphawhispered.Hetookadeepbreathandhisbodyrelaxed.Thedustywindsteadilyhalted.Hecontinuedtospeak.Ididntknowyoukilledher.Youtoldme.Iwasonlyanintermediary,anexcuse.Yougotmetothisplace.Youwantedtodie.Yougavemethereason.Yougotyourselftotheedge,ineverysenseoftheword.Youensuredallthishappens.HelookedintoOmegaseyes.Omegaseyesexpressedtheirnaturalstateofsurrender.Wordsweretoocrudeforthosemoments,sotheybothsmiled.Alphalookeddowntheplatformtowardsthefloordeepdown.Alpha,holdingOmega,tookasniff,lookedbackandaskedhim,Now,tellme,whatshouldIdo?Thisisyourstory. 4. ECLIPSEPARTIVishwanathsatdownonhisbamboochairandopenedthedaysnewspaper.Hemovedtosupporthisbackandheldthenewspaperinfront.Hestruggledtoreadthewordsbuttheheadlineswereclearenough.Dakshayini,wherearemyreadingglasses?heshoutedouttohiswife.Hmmtheywereonthatbookyouwerereadinglastnight,sheshoutedoutfromthekitchen.Here,takeminecamehismotherLakshmi,whoofferedherspectacles.ItwasaknownfactintheirrelativecirclesthatLakshmihadincredibleeyesight,whileallherfivesiblingshadalmostgoneblindbythatageofseventyorso.ThanksAmma,saidVishwanathwearingtheglasses.Heglancedthroughthefrontpage,openedthenewspaperandasuddenloudbang.Dakshayiniasusualdroppedasteelutensiltothefloor.Ammapleasemoanedhertwelveyearoldson,Bharath.Bharathwasintentlyperforminghismorningprayers,whichwasararesceneinchildrenofhisage,orgenerallyanybodyinanurbantosemi-urbanlivelihood.Icantdoanythingokay.Yousitinthemiddleofthehouseandexpectsilence?saidDakshayiniforcefully.Bharathignoredthecommentandcontinuedchantinghismantrasoftly.Vishwanathcontinuedreadingthepaper,inspiteoftheruckusinthehouse.Hewasusetoitforsure.BharathstartedrecitingahymnloudlyandVishwanathsoftlymurmureditwithhimfrombehindhisnewspaper.Lakshmisatonastooltothesidereadingaredcoloredbookofagreatsaint.BharathwasconcludinghisprayersthatVishwanathshoutedout,Dakshayini,milkforme.Bharathshookhisheadinhelplessness.Toomuchnoise,hethought,CantthemilkwaituntilIcomplete.Illgiveyou,saidLakshmigettingupandrushingtothekitchen.Bharathgotup,completinghisprayer,andsaidYoualllovenoiseknowashepouredthewaterheusedfortheprayersintothetulsiplantatthedoorstep.Vishwanathsmiledbehindhisnewspaperandpickedupapenfromthestandbesidehimtodothecrosswordoftheday.Dakshayinicameittothelivingroomrubbingherdamphandstohersaree,KishorehasbeenadmittedtotheICU.Thecancerhasspreadtothelungs.Doctorsaredoubtfulwhetherhecansurvive.VishwanathputhispaperdownandblanklynoddedstaringatBharathwhowasdryinghishairwithapinktowel.Vishwanathhadhisbathandgotreadytogotowork.Heputhislaptopintohisbagandwalkedoutofthehouse.TellDakshayiniIwillnotcomeforlunch,Amma,andtellBharathtofinishhishomework,hetoldhismotherleaving.Bharathfinishedhismathhomeworkwithacalculator.JustwhenhewantedtowatchTV,thepowerwentoff.Hehadnoideawhathecoulddonow.Soheblanklysatbesidehisroomswindowstaring,thinking.Hehadsomebigquestionstobeanswered.Hetriedrememberingwhathethoughtaboutearlier.Onequestionthattormentedhimwaswhetheralltheprayerthathedidinthemorninghadameaning.ItwasnotwhethertherewasGodornot.Thequestionwaswhetherthatbigmanupthereaffectedhim.Everybodyaroundhimsaidhe 5. did.Whenaskedhowtheywouldsimplysmirkinhelplessness.Itwasdisgustingforhim.Allthathesawasesotericandreligiousaroundhim,madenorationalsense.Buttheprayerinthemorningwasnice.Itgavehimasenseofsatisfaction,andsurelyagoodimageinrelativecircles.ButTruthi