23
The Verbal Judo Series

Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

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Nick Weeks, MSCSA Presidents’ Group Vice Chair & Thomas Berg

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Page 1: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

The Verbal Judo Series

Page 2: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Conflicts of personality are a primary factor of

internal issues.

Presidents are the facilitators of disciplinary

meetings (a time-consuming practice).

Understanding challenging personality types

can curb issues before they happen.

The Sinister Six

Page 3: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People
Page 4: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Fly into a rage at the drop of a hat

Unpredictable

Can act like tyrants when they don’t get their

way

Can be abusive

Page 5: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Separate them from the group

Allow them to vent their anger within reason

Set boundaries early

State your position, stay factual, stay cool

Page 6: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People
Page 7: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Smarter than you in their area of expertise

Commonly correct what you say

Quick to point out your flaws

Page 8: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Know your facts

Capitalize on their knowledge by asking

questions

Strategically place them on like assignments

Praise their work

Page 9: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People
Page 10: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Use potshots & sarcasm to undermine you

Will fail to complete projects & blame you

Rarely ever takes the lead

Rarely ever contributes

Page 11: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Keep issues fact-centered

If necessary, use open-ended questions to put

the spotlight on them

Use the fear of open confrontation against

them

Page 12: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People
Page 13: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Focuses on the down side of every issue

Every idea is wrong

Every initiative will turn out badly

Page 14: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Understand their perspective, but don’t

endorse it

Stay factual

Don’t get drawn into an argument

Stay positive

Page 15: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People
Page 16: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Super excited about everything

Volunteer for everything

Overcommit themselves

Page 17: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Know their expertise

Limit what you ask of them

Affirm their contributions

Teach them to say no

Page 18: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People
Page 19: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

They watch everything but say nothing

Rarely socialize with the group

Unable to figure out motivations

Page 20: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Draw them out with open ended questions

Be persistent, but patient

Look for non-verbal cues

Page 21: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People
Page 22: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

Know your triggers (mindfulness)

Bulls: Separate emotion from fact (cool down)

Geniuses: Teach, don’t preach

Sucker Punchers: Ask questions (honest

assertiveness)

Downers: Focus on the good

Cheerleaders: Get others engaged

Ghosts: Get engaged!

Page 23: Relationships and Dealing with Difficult People

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