Prof. Mara Luna

Intermediate English I

To be used with “Refining Composition Skills” by Regina L.

Smalley 6th edition

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*It is a paragraph that uses

sensory details to paint a picture

of a place, person, or an object.

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*Our lives are filled with places, people, and events.

*Often, we think about a place, we not only see it in detail,

but we also smell the smells and hear the sounds associated

with it. We remember what important event happened

there.

*This is also true with people. Certain people are important

in our lives –our parents, family members, teachers, others–

and again, when we think about a particular person, we see

the details and hear the sounds of that individual and

remember –even with just a feeling- his or her impact in our

lives.

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*For description, writers must use words to

describe what they see, smell, hear, and feel.

*The description is successful if it is so vivid

that it recreates these sensations for the

reader.

*One way to recreate these sensations with

words is to use similes and metaphors to

compare the thing being described with

something familiar to the reader.

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*A simile is an expression that compares two things using the word like or as + a noun phrase.

Example:

*The tree wears the snow like a white fur coat.

*A metaphor is a comparison that does not use the words like or as.

Example:

*The snow on the tree is a while fur coat that protects it from the winter.

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*Using similes and metaphors is a good way to make

descriptive writing vivid, especially when you do not

know a vocabulary word or when you just want to use a

more creative tone.

*For example, imagine describing someone’s eyes that

were green with specks of brown in them – a deep

hazel. If than person had just been crying, the

description could be, “Her eyes look like the forest

after a rainstorm – dark green and brown and moist”.

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*The logical arrangement of ideas and sentences in a narrative paragraph is chronological – according to time order.

*When you are describing the way something looks –its physical appearance – it is not time but space that is important.

*Therefore you should arrange your sentences and details according to where the objects being described are located. This type of organization is called spatial organization.

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*In describing a room, what should you describe

first? The walls? The floor?

*Unlike the chronologically-developed paragraph,

there is no set pattern for arranging sentences in

this type of descriptive paragraph.

*Nevertheless, the sentences should not be

randomly arranged. The description must be

organized so the reader can imagine the scene

being described.

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*The arrangement of the details in a descriptive

paragraph depends on the subject. The selection

and the description of details depend on the

describer’s purpose.

*When painting a picture with words, you can

begin from left to right, from right to left, from

top to bottom, or from bottom to top.

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*Sometimes, though, the description can focus on

some object that dominates the scene or on

something that is unusual in the scene.

*In this case, it may be desirable to focus on an

object and describe it first, since it is the first

thing noticed.

*Describing what can be perceived with the senses

(sights, sounds, smells, touch, tastes) makes the

scene even more vivid and interesting.

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*How would you describe a person?

*Depending on the subject or assignment, you

could describe the person’s physical appearance,

since the principle of organization is spatial, for

the most part.

*Here are just a few ways you can describe a

person’s appearance: style of clothing, manner of

walking, color and style of hair, facial appearance,

body shape, expression, way of talking.

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*What you choose to describe depends on your

topic and purpose.

*When describing a person, you are not obliged to

describe every single detail about the person’s

appearance.

*Sometimes it is better to focus on one or two

outstanding features that convey something about

the person’s character.

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*Details in descriptive paragraphs are organized

spatially to give the reader a clear picture of

the scene being described.

*Clarifying the spatial relationship with spatial

expressions helps to achieve coherence.

*These spatial expressions are called adverbs of

place; most of them are prepositional phrases

(prepositions + noun phrase).

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Some of the expressions used to clarify space

relationships include:

on the second floor behind the chair

straight ahead on top of the television

under the windows above the bookcase

on your left in the corner

over the table underneath the desk

on the right-hand side opposite the bed

against the wall along the back of the house

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*The details in a descriptive paragraph should not only be

logically arranged but also vivid.

*To make the details more vivid, you need to modify them

(Modify means to restrict or narrow down the meaning.)

*Nouns can be modified in three ways: by adding

adjectives, by adding adjective and prepositional phrases,

and by adding clauses.

*Each time a modified is added to a noun, a class to which

it belongs is restricted. Ex. a book – a red book – a red

paperback book – a red paperback book with a torn cover

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*Another way to improve coherence is to use adjective clauses.

*An adjective clause is a dependent clause that modifies a noun.

*The subordinators that introduce adjective clauses include: who, whom, whose, that, and which.

*Less common adjective clause subordinators are : when, where, and why.

*Example: It’s a small mouth that looks delicate and feminine.

*Example: As you walk into the room, you are stopped by my bed, which fills half the room.

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*You have learned that a coherent paragraph is one that has logically arranged sentences and ideas; in addition, in order for a paragraph to be coherent, the sentences should flow smoothly.

*If the sentences in a paragraph are short and if the sentences contain a lot of repeated words, the paragraph is choppy.

*By combining a few sentences using adjective clauses, some of the repeated words can be eliminated and the sentences flow more smoothly.

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*How to write a descriptive paragraph:

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Descriptive-

Paragraph

*Tips for good descriptive paragraphs:

http://web.clark.edu/martpe/descriptive%20pa

ragr.htm

*The Descriptive Paragraph:

http://www.ablongman.com/henry_rh/ch04.pdf