Pull up a chair, grab a mug of

coffee & let’s go! Writing

Part I

¶sTopic Sent.

¶ Analysis

N vs. V

ParagraphsVarious techniques to develop ¶s ¶ Structure/Organization should be clear to reader

Let’s look at 6 paragraph patterns

Begin with what happened 1st & take it from there

TYPICAL CONNECTORS1st, 2nd, 3rd

before, afterwhen, later

Example ¶

1. Chronology

http://colelearning.net/who/module1/page33.html

At the start of 2000, the price of combination antiretroviral drugs to

treat 1 patient for 1 year was typically between US$ 10 000 & US$ 12 000. By

the end of 2000, prices of US$ 500 to US$ 800 were approved for patented and generic drugs for low- & middle-

income countries. By December 2001, certain combinations became available

for US$350 per person per year.

2. Classification & ListingArrange examples to support the claim made

in the topic sentence.

Typical Connectors

1st, 2nd, 3rd, finally, also

Example ¶ ( 2 slides)

Because of new policies and the new data about the epidemiology of TB-HIV in the Region, the Western Pacific Regional Office recognized that updates to the previous regional framework were needed. The goal of this updated framework is, therefore, to draw on global documents, along with relevant recently published evidence, to improve TB-HIV control through the following primary means. First, national TB programmes and national AIDS programmes need to work collaboratively to decrease the case-fatality rate for persons with both TB and HIV through earlier detection of TB and HIV and appropriate management of people with both.

Second, as one of the steps to achieve this, new approaches are needed to improve the rates of HIV testing among TB patients and of TB screening among people living with HIV. Third, TB laboratories must be expanded to meet the challenges of diagnosing TB and drug-resistant TB in people living with HIV. Finally, TB infection control measures must be scaled up to prevent transmission of disease within health facilities, a step made even more important in the era of multidrug-resistant (MDR) TB and extensively drug- resistant (XDR) TB.

3. Evidence & IllustrationSupport a claim made by the topic sentence

Typical Connectorsfor example, for instancein other words Example ¶

Some things are changing straight away. For example, insurers can no longer refuse coverage for children, deny coverage to children with pre-existing illnesses or set lifetime coverage limits. Dependent adults younger than 26 will remain covered by their parents' policy if they are not offered health coverage at work. Small companies (with 25 or fewer employees with an average wage of up to US$ 50 000) can get tax credits to offset up to 35% of the cost of premiums this year, rising to 50% in 2014.

4. Compare & ContrastDemonstrate similarities or differences between 2 or

more people or things.

Typical Connectorsalthough, but, whereas, however, meanwhile, similarly, in the same way

Example ¶

Although West/Central Africa’s drinking-water coverage improved from 49% in 1990 to 55% in 2004, it needs to reach a far target of 75% by 2015. The total number of people in the region without access to improved drinking-water sources actually increased over the 1990–2004 period. In Eastern/Southern Africa, the situation for access to drinking water is similar, as the region improved coverage from 48% in 1990 to 56% in 2004 but faces a target of 74%. In CEE/CIS, meanwhile, coverage has stagnated at 91%; its 2015 goal is 96 %.

Q&A

Ask a question & let the rest of the ¶ provide the answer.

Example ¶ ( 2 slides)

5.

It has been several years since PAHO opted for the use of new information technologies in the production of educational materials and technical information resources; however, with this material we have both reinforced and made a significant qualitative leap forward with regard to this option. In what way? This multimedia tool makes more intensive use of more sophisticated, efficient technologies and combines different resources and uses, making it much more versatile and easy to use while enhancing its didactic potential.

In its design and development, videos, graphic animation in two or three dimensions, images, sound, text, graphic presentations and technical publications are combined, creating a virtual learning environment or atmosphere in order to learn all there is to know about the safe hospital.

CAUS E

EFFECT

1 condition produces an effect or causes are determined for a particular condition.

Example:

Typical Connectorsbecause (of), therefore, as a result (of), consequently, for this reason, since

In all countries, enforcing the laws that do exist remains a challenge. As a result, violence against children goes unpunished. There is much to be done to train and support law enforcement and judicial personnel to understand the key role they play in protecting children against violence.

• Holds THE ¶’S MAIN message• Gives readers the essence/main thrust of ¶• GOOD readers look for topic sentence to get

general meaning quickly• Clear / well-placed topic sentences makes text

MORE ACCESSIBLE

TOPIC SENTENCES

2 MAIN FUNCTIONS:• Carry the story line. If readers were to skim only the topic

sentences, they should be able to follow that story line.• PREDICT what info will be included in the ¶. The

sentences that make up a ¶ should reinforce the story line established by the topic sentence.

TOPIC SENTENCES

• Look at the example ¶. • The topic sentence is the 1st sentence.• Does the topic sentence represent the main

message of the ¶? • If it does not, what might be a more appropriate

topic sentence?

PRACTICE: Evaluate topic sentences

1. We sent two urgent shipments using your courier company to our office in Newark. We found both shipments arrived two weeks after they were sent. Please explain why these deliveries were so late.NOT GOOD.

POSSIBLE TOPIC SENTENCE: • I am writing to express my concern with late deliveries

by your courier.

PRACTICE: Evaluate topic sentences

2. Innovations in development of tools to carry out district situation analysis of HIV/AIDS have provided a real opportunity to states to programme at the district level. Twenty-seven districts are progressing well, developing comprehensive prevention treatment and care plans. They are taking action to strengthen service delivery mechanisms of the four key strategies for children and AIDS. More supervision and monitoring are required to ensure that actions are streamlined and have synergistic outcomes.• NOT GOOD. The sentence gives readers the impression it

will talk about innovations in tools. The paragraph discusses progress made by various districts.

EFFECTIVE WRITING PRACTICE

Write a paragraph with a topic sentenceInclude info on the next slide.

Topic sentence conveying main message Present info in a coherent order.

EFFECTIVE WRITING PRACTICE

MAIN MESSAGE: Deaths by diarrhea dehydration are unnecessary & easily preventable through the use of oral rehydration therapy. POINTS: Each year, more than 4 million young children die of diarrhea dehydration Deaths can be prevented ORT is oral rehydration therapy Revolutionary, low-cost Made of water, sugar, salt Easy for parents to prepare 1984: ORT saved ½ million kids 38 countries have begun large scale production Over the next 5 years, ORT is planned to reach ½ of the world’s families Can save 2 million kids every year

Sample Text:Each year, more than four million young children die of diarrhea dehydration. These deaths need not have occurred. A revolutionary, low-cost technique, called oral rehydration therapy (ORT) could probably have saved their lives. ORT, simply a drink of water, sugar and salt, costs practically nothing, and is simple enough for any parent to prepare. In 1984, about half a million children were saved by this revolutionary technique. Today, 38 nations have begun a large-scale production of oral rehydration salts. Over the next five years, ORT could spread to half the world’s families, saving the lives of some two million children each year.

A closer look at your writing

OrganizationClear topic sentences• HOW to improve

PARAGRAPH ANALYSIS

VERB-BASED writing uses Vs to govern the action of the sentence

GOAL: use verb-based writing Verbs enliven, convey action & engage the reader

Common to a bureaucratic style that can be long-winded & tiresome to read.There is no direct action in noun-based writing; nothing seems to happen. Noun-based constructions also tend to use more words.

NOUNS

NOUN-BASED writing

LANHAM QUICKLY DISTINGUISHES A V FROM A N STYLE.I came. I saw. I conquered.Arrival; Reconnaissance; Victory.

LANHAM QUOTES, AS AN EXAMPLE N STYLE:The connection between behaviour in the socially real world and dramatic performance is a double link. Much of everyday social behavior and socially consequential action is itself composed, and often in a fashion which is recognised at the time as ‘theatrical’ or is revealed as such afterwards.

mTHIS KIND OF WRITING IS GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT, BUT DULL

Nora Bacon, in The Well-Crafted Sentence, gives this example, complaining of its long, abstract subject:

Another reason that the U.S. invasion of Iraq was a mistake is that it caused the stature of the United States as a world leader to plummet.

She corrects it to:Furthermore, when the United States invaded Iraq, its stature as a world leader plummeted.

It’s shorter and easier for readers to determine what the sentence is about (“when the United States invaded”).

The project officer decided to review the operations.

The project officer made a decision to conduct a review of the operations.

NOUN-BASED writing

VERB-BASED writing

NOPRACTICE: Rewrite the noun-based paragraph using more action-oriented writing. Notice the difference in readability.

Four teams from the state office conducted a visit of the areas worst affected by the floods and completed an assessment in six affected districts. The teams made the observation that the government teams are not of sufficient capacity and there is availability of adequate materials in affected areas. There is a potentially dangerous situation for epidemics as a result of the stagnant water, and the extent of damage to health infrastructure will gain clarity once there is a decrease in the water levels.

Four teams from the state office visited the areas worst affected by the floods and assessed six affected districts. The teams observed that the government has sufficient teams and that adequate materials are available in affected areas. The stagnant water poses a potentially dangerous situation for epidemics and we will know the extent of damage to health infrastructure once the water recedes.

84 vs. 62 words

NOPRACTICE 2: Revise noun-based phrases• In each case, the noun-based phrase can be replaced by

a single verb. • Which verb would you use?

1. Make a realization that2. Make a recommendation that3. Effect a reduction in4. Exhibit a tendency to5. Make a decision6. Take a decision7. Reach a conclusion about8. Make an examination of9. Place an order for10. To be cognizant of11. Conduct an analysis of

RealizeRecommended thatReduceTendDecideDecideConcludeExamineOrderKnowAnalyze

NOPRACTICE 3: Identify noun-based phrases in a ¶• Improve these 5 sentences by using verbs, rather than

nouns, to convey the important concepts. • Notice the length of verb-based sentences.

1. When we made the realization that the manager was not able to attend, we made a decision to cancel the meeting.When we realized the manager was not able to attend, we cancelled the meeting.

2. We gave consideration to the idea of the budget modification, but finally we came to the conclusion that it was best left as it was.

We considered changing the budget, but we finally decided not to.

3. The change in government brought an end to the program.The program ended when the government changed.

4. I will perform an analysis of the situation. I will analyze the situation

5. Consistent with its mandate for advocacy and collaboration WHO has had involvement with other organizations in the mobilization of the increased resources needed to respond to the situation.WHO, consistent with its mandate, has advocated for increased resources and collaborated with other organizations to respond to the situation.

How many of the 6 paragraph

patterns can you remember?

1. Chronology Classification & Listing

& ILLUSTRATION3.

4. Compare & Contrast

5.Q & A

CAUSE & EFFECT

6.

1st, 2nd, 3rd before, afterwhen, later

First / second / thirdFinally / also

For example, for instancein other words

Although, but, whereas, however,

meanwhile, similarly,

in the same way

Consequently, for this reason, since

Because (of), therefore, as a

result (of)

TOPIC SENTENCES• Holds THE ¶’S MAIN message

• GOOD readers look for topic sentence to get general meaning quickly

• Clear / well-placed topic sentences makes text MORE ACCESSIBLE

ANALYZE YOUR WRITINGOrganizationClear topic sentences• HOW to improve

PARAGRAPH ANALYSIS

VERB-BASED writing uses Vs to govern the action of the sentence

GOAL: use verb-based writing Verbs enliven, convey action & engage the reader

NOUNS

VERBS

VS.

Practice Writing & Analysis