X-Ray Listening: Clean Language section for NLP Master Practitioner Course

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By Judy Rees, delivered Ecclefechan Sept 2013

Transcript

  • X-Ray Listening Judy Rees
  • Judy Rees Passionate about connecting minds and bodies via metaphor, to catalyse change Co-author of Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds International coach and trainer
  • Asking About Metaphor When you are listening at your best, you are like... what? (Starter question only) What kind of X (is that X)? Is there anything else about X?
  • What did you notice?
  • Listening Benefits Brings you clarity about what people mean Reduces misunderstandings and conflict Helps listenees to think precisely Builds rapport and trust Conceals your ignorance!
  • AreYou Listening? 1.Listen 2.Be distracted 3.Listen Notice what happens!
  • What Makes A Good Listener? Your suggestions
  • Deeper Listening? 1.Person A talks about something important to them 2.Person B listens without speaking (can smile and nod) Notice what happens!
  • What Happened? When you were being listened to? When you were the listener? To the relationship between you?
  • Parrot Phrasing
  • Parrot Phrasing 1.Person A talks about something important to them 2.Person B encourages them by repeating selected words and phrases 3.Person C listens for metaphors and makes some notes for later
  • A waitress increased her tips by 70% simply by repeating the customers order back to them in their own words, rather than saying okay or coming right up University of Nijmegen, 2005
  • Metaphor
  • Metaphor Thought is made of metaphor - the native language of the unconscious mind
  • Metaphor Describes one kind of thing in terms of another kind of thing
  • Surfaces And Essences Douglas Hofstadter and Emmanuel Sander
  • Metaphors In Mind Categorising Creating Interpreting Deciding Learning
  • Coins Activity Take a handful of coins Arrange them to represent either: you and your family, or you and your colleagues
  • Metaphor In Language Six metaphors per minute Side-effect of metaphoric thought Can be used to connect with the unconscious mind
  • Metaphor in Thought Change in metaphor in language can lead to change in thought Change in metaphor in thought rearranges neurology - everything changes
  • The Mind
  • David Groves Clean Language Clean Language Precision toolkit for working with metaphor in thought
  • Noticing Metaphors
  • Natural Metaphors Cliches and proverbs Common metaphors - eg. journey, game, space, force Its like... is stated or implied
  • Directing attention with questions
  • Clean Language Questions Precision tools for working with peoples thoughts and directing attention Designed to minimise content input Include as few presuppositions and metaphors as possible
  • Use only the given question, with one or more of the persons own words And when... with a parrot-phrase is used as a connector Clean Language Questions
  • David Grove 1950 - 2008
  • Clean Language Created by David Grove for therapy Modelled/codified by Penny Tompkins and James Lawley Now ideas applied in multiple contexts - management, coaching, marketing etc Increasingly supported by academic research
  • Constraint inspires creativity
  • What happens when you are asked a question?
  • The art of directing attention
  • The 2 Lazy Jedi Questions
  • 2 Lazy Jedi Qs: Uses Finding out more about anything!
  • 2 Lazy Jedi Questions What kind of X (is that X)? Is there anything else about X?
  • Words Are Personal Think of a flower What kind of flower is your flower?
  • Using The 2 LJQs Whats one of the goals you have in life? (Starter only) What kind of X (is that X)? Is there anything else about X?
  • What did you notice?
  • The Dark Side Of Metaphor
  • Discovering A Metaphor Listen for, and notice, natural metaphors Or ask:And thats... like... what? Ask very slowly, with long pauses Metaphors are personal Ask Clean Language questions - the details are always different
  • Handling The Dark Side Notice - is this a metaphor for a problem or an outcome? If its a problem, take care! Either: Use Power Switch immediately or Ask up to two LJQs before asking for a metaphor, then use the Power Switch
  • Exploring A Metaphor Start with What would you like to have happen? Explore that outcome with Clean Language questions Listen for, and explore, metaphors If drifting into problem, use Power Switch
  • The Power Switch And when , what would you like to have happen?
  • The Power Switch Uses Changing focus from negative to positive Changing mood/state Unsticking Persuasion, influence, sales Conflict resolution
  • Power Switch Practice Start by stating a minor problem And when , what would you like to have happen?
  • Power Switch Practice This time, start with a metaphor for a minor problem And is like... what?>
  • Practice Person A talks about something/someone they love (or a metaphor for that) What kind of X? Is there anything else about X? And when , what would you like to have happen?
  • Feeling to Metaphor Person A mentions a feeling What kind of X? Is there anything else about X? Where/whereabouts is X? And thats like... what?
  • Unlocking The Emotional Brain Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic, Laurel Hulley
  • Coaching With Clean Get a towards outcome Get a metaphor for that outcome Develop the metaphor until chimes No fixing! Elicitation is the intervention
  • Coaching With Clean What would you like to have happen (as a result of this module)? What kind of X? Is there anything else about X? Where/whereabouts is X? And thats like... what?
  • Necessary Conditions What needs to happen for X? Conditions are often nested
  • When you are working at your best, you are like what?
  • Starts 3 October http://bit.ly/181xxxw http://bit.ly/181xxxw
  • Judy Rees www.xraylistening.com - blog www.learncleanlanguage.com - resources www.judyrees.co.uk - coaching
  • http://youtu.be/D7rFhf7 G84U http://youtu.be/D7rFhf7 G84U
  • http://youtu.be/2cU56S WXHFw http://youtu.be/2cU56S WXHFw
  • http://youtu.be/aVvcU5 gG4KU http://youtu.be/aVvcU5 gG4KU