The Draper Family: Stressors in Suburbia Kaitlyn Creney

On the Surface…

The show Mad Men paints a portrait of the epitome of the nuclear family that was the norm in the late fifties and early sixties.

As the series progresses the Draper family experiences changes that reflect certain advancements of their time period.

The family begins as very traditional but as

the norms of society’s context shifts so does their stability.

Deception Prior to the series the protagonist, Don, the father in the

family, takes on the identity of another man (to escape the Korean War).

In doing so he has to remain both emotionally detached to his environment and keep track of his lies.

He suffers from anxiety attacks when he fears that his true identity will be exposed. His secrets are both toxic and dangerous.

When his wife Betty confronts him with the truth the trust between them is broken.Betty can’t move forward because she worries about what else he has lied about.

Infidelity Betty passively accepts many of Don’s affairs. She

stores up what information she has to use at him at a later point, “gunnysacking.”

This puts stress on Betty as she is always monitoring her behavior and living with her own secret.

When she decides be unfaithful her confrontation with Don brings forth these previous issues. Her infidelity is something that he can’t handle as he reacts violently.

Impact of Addiction Alcohol use plays a major role in the lives of the family.

Both parents see alcohol as a both a social lubricant as well as a coping device to mask addressing their larger marital issues.

Intoxication is frequently used as an excuse for bad behavior.

Alcohol use censors, distorts, and inhibits communication .

Addiction’s Impact on the Family

The oldest child Sally suffers some of the greatest psychological impacts of her parent’s illness.

She devises verbal patterns to explain to her younger brother(s) and those outside the family about her mother’s state in particular.

Sally serves as the bartender at many of the family’s cocktail parties. Giving her a distorted view of addiction.

When Don brings her to work she emulates his drinking habits to feel closer to him.

Destructive Conflict Patterns

Betty displaces her anger about her marital relationship towards Sally frequently. She verbally snaps at Sally or denies her privileges.

Don is continually disengaged. His involvement with the family life becomes like a hollow shell. He avoids situations where he has to be at home. He chooses his job or other activities to engage with as a substitute.

The idea of pseudomutuality is also present. Here member’s anger is characterized by agreeing to what they disagree on. The maintenance of perfection or the ideal is one that is passed down to the children.

Power Relations The Draper’s are a one-spouse dominant family.

Although Betty is in charge of the home sphere all of her decisions have to go through Don. Whenever the children ask her directly for something she subverts her power by redirecting them to their father. Don is the source of economic, normative, cognitive, and affective resources.

Don is allowed to orchestrate the power but both Betty and Sally implement it. Betty does so to the maid and the children while Sally bosses her younger brother(s) around while Betty is preoccupied.

Betty’s beauty is her greatest asset to the cybernetic family system. Don experiences power struggles when he requires her personal resources to impress people.

Death in the Family

Sally grows very close to her grandfather Gene when he comes to live with the family.

His death furthers Betty’s spiral into depression.

However, his deathprovides an opportunity for Sally and Betty to connect.The sharing of family-of-origin stories provides closure,comfort, and closeness betweenthe two.

New Sibling

The Draper’s new baby Gene is very unexpected.

Gene was conceived during what Don calls “a moment of desperation.” In an attempt to save the marriage.

His birth means that Sally hasto take on more responsibility.

Because he is born shortly before Don and Betty separate hispresence is continually forgottenby Don.

Negotiating Through a Divorce In this picture Sally accuses her mother of forcing her

father to leave. Don states that their separation is nobody’s fault. The negative communication patterns as well as specific individual issues are alluded to during this pivotal conversation. Both parents stress that the

children’s well-being is what they are concerned with.

The relationship has followed the characteristics of coming apart throughout the series, “a recognition of differences, an experience of constricted communication, a sense of stagnation, a pattern of avoidance, and the immediate and protracted experience of termination” (297).

Adapting During the second phase of separation and divorce,

the settling in or single parent phase, tension between all former members occurs.

Don and Betty no longer constrained by their marriage find themselves able to communicate more openly but still in a destructive manner.

Sally acts out the most out of the children. She cuts her hair, runs away, and tries to pit each parent against the other.

Once both parents have new relationships she argues with the discipline from people who aren’t her biological parents.

Split Home Life

Don is allowed to have the children on the weekends. He realizes that it is too much for him to handle. He marries a new woman as a substitution for their mother and as a way for him to continue his parenting style.

Betty renegotiates her role in this transition by listening to the advice her new husband has to offer. She realizes that she has to adapt to these changes in order for her relationship with her children to be successful.

Overview of Family Change

As it stands the Draper family seems to be in a much healthier state than when they were together.

The family’s separation has provided more meta-communication and an openness for all those involved. Other’s wants and needs are met. There has been room for individual therapy as well as reflection.

Growth was made possible by the dissolution of a destructive relationship.

Family Communication: Cohesion and Change

Kaitlyn Creney