Managers as Mediators Brokering Employee Disputes

www.PaulFalconeHR.com

[email protected]

1www.PaulFalconeHR.com

http://www.PaulFalconeHR.com

Paul Falcone is Author of . . . 101 Tough Conversations to Have with Employees: A Manager’s

Guide to Performance, Conduct, and Discipline Challenges

101 Sample Write-Ups for Documenting Employee Performance Problems: A Guide to Progressive Discipline and Termination

96 Great Interview Questions to Ask Before You Hire

2600 Phrases for Effective Performance Reviews

2600 Phrases for Setting Effective Performance Goals

www.PaulFalconeHR.com 2

Outcomes Train managers to address problematic conduct or

substandard job performance issues directly and honestly

Set high standards without simultaneously putting others down or turning them off

Structure a safe meeting environment for "warring" participants (eliminating need for defensiveness, attacks, and/or counter-attacks)


Outcomes (cont.) Build a culture in which team members can assume

partial responsibility for problems and make themselves part of the solution

Realign teams, reset management expectations, and turn around group performance and productivity

Become a mentor and coach rather than a unilateral


Outcomes (cont.) Heal old wounds and increase individual performance

and group productivity

Get the team back to “normal” and eliminate that feeling of having to walk on eggshells around one another

Establish your reputation as a leader who takes on the toughest situations the workplace can conjure up


Common Scenario One particular department within your organization

suffers from individuals who simply can't or won't get along. Unaddressed and often longstanding resentments poison the workplace, and productivity and performance suffer. In circumstances like these, it's only a matter of time until something major falls through the cracks and the drama hits the fan.

Employees question: “When will management finally do something about this?”


Variations on a Theme

Lack of trust, lack of recognition, failure to acknowledge the other person’s presence

Mutiny on the Bounty—Anonymous Complaints that Kill Morale and Camaraderie . . .

Gossips, Rumor-Mongers, Snitches and the Dreaded “Preemptive Strike”


Variations on a Theme (cont.)

Paratrooping Behind Enemy Lines—When Team Leaders Won’t Respect Their Department Head

Wounded Casualties Acting on Principal and Self-Defense . . . When that Proverbial Straw is Broken on the Camel’s Back

When the Problem is at the Top of the Food Chain: Stopping Bullies in Their Tracks


Remedies

Preventing loss of control and storming out of the room in rage

Overcoming “This’ll never work—we’ve tried this before, and it just made matters worse”

Follow-up tips for staying in touch and preventing relapses into old habits


Remedies (cont.)

Treating adults like adults

Consequences with teeth (i.e., written “letters of clarification” and, when necessary, final written warnings for egregious misconduct)

When it may be time to move on . . .


General Rules of Engagement –

Step 1: Meet with each individual 1-on-1 and simply listen to what each has to say

Step 2: Ask, “What would [NAME] say if she were here right now to defend herself? What could her counterargument sound like?

Step 3: Ask, “What would you like to see happen?”


Rules of Engagement (cont.) Step 4: Inform the complainant that you’ll need to

involve both supervisors (one tier removed from the action) to explore this further

Be prepared for complaint withdrawal (for fear of retaliation)

Counter with your / HR’s role in creating a friendly work environment and getting this fixed once and for all


Rules of Engagement (cont.) Step 5: Explain the magic behind the conflict

resolution process

(a) Share the other person’s side of the story in advance of the group meeting so that the “what” is known and you could then focus your meeting on the “how”

(b) “There’s no need for attacking or defending – we’re simply coming together as adults to solve a problem”


Rules of Engagement (cont.) Step 6: At the time of the group meeting, set the rules as

follows. . .

1. “Don’t hold anything back. This is a once-in-a-career opportunity to fix this problem . . .”

2. “Everything you share has to be said with the other’s best interests in mind and in a spirit of constructive criticism.”

3. “Once you’ve walked a mile in the other person’s moccasins, determine what you’re willing to change about your own behavior in order to elicit a different response from the other person in the future.”


Rules of Engagement (cont.)

Step 7: End the meeting by repeating the agreements made and by asking both sides to assume good intentions until proven otherwise

When necessary, ask how you, as the supervisor and/or HR, should respond if this particular issue rises again


Gossips, Rumor-Mongers, and Snitches

Explain your perception of the problem clearly and accurately

Publicly apologize to the victim of the banter on behalf of the department

Reset expectations by appealing to people’s sense of fairness – “I expect more from you as a team, and I know you should expect more of yourselves as individuals . . .”


When It’s Time to Move On “If you can’t see yourself as part of the solution and/or see

others acting in a more benevolent manner toward you, then this may fall under the ‘Life is too short’ category and you may want to explore other career options. . .”

“I’m here to support you in any way I can, but if you really feel like you can’t or you won’t abide by these new expectations and literally start over by assuming good intentions, then leaving may appear to be a more viable alternative than continuing to work in an unhealthy environment. . .”


Time to Move On (cont.) “So I’d like you to go home tonight and really think this

through. If you can’t or won’t readapt your style in light of what I just shared with you, then it may be in your best interests to self-select out of a leadership role or look for opportunities elsewhere. But please don’t put me in a position to have to hold a discussion with you about a topic like this again because the conversation could have a very different outcome that could be detrimental to your career as a whole . . .”


Keys to Mediating Disputes

Open, transparent communication of the perception problem at hand

Objective observations rather than subjective judgments

Allow individuals to assume responsibility for their actions and provide options and choices so they’re in control

Respect whatever decision they ultimately make


Q&A: Questions & Actions

Paul Falcone

www.PaulFalconeHR.com

[email protected]


http://www.PaulFalconeHR.com

Leadership & Management

Managers as Mediators Brokering Employee Disputes