Making Happiness Happen:

Our Kids Teach Us to Let Go of the

Negative and Experience Joy

Susie Almaneih

What we notice

with kids, is the way

they are able to

stay in the present.

That’s partly

because they are

still building their

ability to make

store and retrieve

long term memory,

but another reason

is simply the quality

of attention.

If you watch your children, they flash back and forth quickly

from very different emotional realities within the frame of

minutes. It’s not that those feelings are insincere, it’s that

they are constantly changing...

If you watch your children, they flash back and forth quickly

from very different emotional realities within the frame of

minutes. It’s not that those feelings are insincere, it’s that

they are constantly changing... So how do we help

our kids sustain

happiness?

Model it.

If you get uptight

about little things,

guess who else

will? You can show

them how to take

hits and move on.

EasyStepsTo Try:

Here are some

Label negative emotions.When the package doesn’t come, when the sippy cup wasn’t sealed at the bottom of yourpurse, when someone cuts you off and almost hits you, say it out loud: “I’m angry about thisright now. I need a moment to calm down.”

BreatheLengthen the breath and remember this feeling is going to subside.

Make a joke.Even if you have to resort to sarcasm, try to laugh at the absurdity of not getting what youwanted in that moment.

New plan. One yogi suggested our mantra in moments of frustration can be, “and now, this ishappening.” It brings us into the present with a new set of parameters and allows us to notwaste time emotionally reacting.

Just like with grownups, some kids are tightly wound and

some kids are really go with the flow. When we practice

direct attention and use that label, breathe, joke, new plan

cheat sheet, we show them how to get over the hard stuff.

We also show them how to truly delight in the golden

moments and that is how they grow into happy, loving adults.