How to Screw UpA Blog Post

in 7 Easy Steps!

Inklyo.com presents:

Afraid Your Blog MayActually Do Well?

Who has the time or energy tomaintain a successful blog? Notyou, that's for sure. Follow thesesimple blogging tips to make sureyour blog is a complete and utterdud—in fact, its boo-boos won'teven go viral. It'll even fail atfailing.

Typos, punctuation errors, and painfulspelling mistakes are the quickest, easiestway to give your blog a death sentence(ooh, the puns). After all, a clean,error-free post might actually make youlook credible, and you don't want that.

1. Don't proofread.

2. Remove all comprehensibletrain of thought.

You know what happens when your writingis easy to read and has a logical flow, don'tyou? People might *gasp* keep reading it.All structure, consistency of tone, and clearthought processes must be removed fromyour writing. Immediately.

3. Post irregularly, if at all.

You really need to take care ofthose annoying Internet prowlerswho have decided that your blog isinteresting, or they'll stick aroundno matter what. How can you ridyourself of such pests? Well, stopposting, of course! Or, if you must,post at random with long stretchesof silence in between.

4. Steal whenever possible.

What's the fastest way to stir up the anger

pot? Why, stealing intellectual or creative

property, of course! Hijack ideas, writing

styles, photos, or other created media, and

don't credit any of the original sources. Be

prepared for the initial wave of attention

your blog will receive (what horror!) when

people start to realize you're stealing their

material, but worry not—it's all negative

attention, and it won't last.

Once your integrity is destroyed,pesky subscribers will no longer

be an issue.

5. Plaster blank space withgaudy advertisements.

Lucky for you, there's a fail-safe to divert readers from even the bestcontent: gratuitous advertising. Banner ads, pop-ups, and sidebarpost-its will send potential subscribers—even the ones who really wantto stay—away from your blog with grimaces on their faces and carpaltunnel in their primary click fingers. Did you know the speed at which auser runs from your page is directly proportional to the degree to whichads are unrelated to your blog's topic?

6. Fill up on keywords.

Google keeps getting smarter andfaster when it comes to finding moreways to send people to your page.How rude! Lucky for you, there arealways new ways to convince theGoogle bots that your page isn'tworth visiting. Some of the latest?Saturating your content, tags, andanchors with keywords, of course!

7. Ignore your readers.

Readers stick around when they feel like they're getting apersonalized, relevant, engaging experience, which of courseyou don't want. You should never reply to readers when theymake an effort to communicate with you. That would justmake them feel too validated and like they actually gainedsomething from your blog. Yuck.

In summary . . .

Be a bore. Be inconsistent. Over-advertise. Refuse to communicate.Publish your typos. Steal. Confuse. Distract. Disappear. Such are themagic tools by which you can keep your blog safe from Internet success.Now, who wants to hang out on MySpace?

Want to learn more?Check out the Inklyo.com blog, or follow us for more great postsabout blogging and content marketing: