Dr. Frank Gunzburg’s “How Dr. Frank Gunzburg’s “How to Survive an Affair” Book to Survive an Affair” Book

ReviewReview

By Lisa PennBy Lisa Penn

How-to-Save-How-to-Save-Marriage.orgMarriage.org

Looking back, I know I Looking back, I know I made virtually made virtually all the all the possible mistakespossible mistakes a a betrayed wife can do betrayed wife can do after finding out about after finding out about her husband’s her husband’s emotional and physical emotional and physical 6 month affair6 month affair. . The The first mistake was NOT first mistake was NOT looking for looking for How to How to Survive an Affair Survive an Affair bookbook immediately. immediately.

I found out about it when I found out about it when he he accidentally left accidentally left his mail openhis mail open. . I think I think that that subconsciouslysubconsciously he he wanted me to find out or wanted me to find out or he would have been he would have been much more careful with much more careful with his private mail. It’s still his private mail. It’s still painful to be reminded painful to be reminded of the emotions they of the emotions they shared, the physical shared, the physical intimacy and imagining intimacy and imagining them cuddled up them cuddled up together at her together at her apartment.apartment.

I made all the I made all the possible mistakespossible mistakes a shocked, angry, a shocked, angry, heart broken and heart broken and betrayed wife can betrayed wife can do. do. I immediately I immediately threw him outthrew him out, , without even without even thinking about what thinking about what I’m going to say to I’m going to say to our children. our children.

I called my best I called my best friendfriend and told her and told her everything (huge everything (huge mistake), and after mistake), and after him begging for 2 him begging for 2 weeks – weeks – I let him I let him back in the houseback in the house and became obsessed and became obsessed with finding out the with finding out the REASON for his affair. REASON for his affair. Digging and digging Digging and digging and getting nowhere.and getting nowhere.

All the while I tried to All the while I tried to handle all handle all of this by myselfof this by myself. . Fighting off Fighting off the the haunting imageshaunting images of them of them together, spending most of my together, spending most of my time time spyingspying on his every move, on his every move, punishing him by silent punishing him by silent treatments or angry fitstreatments or angry fits..

I knew I still loved him deeply I knew I still loved him deeply (though I wasn’t sure he still (though I wasn’t sure he still loves me) and that I want to loves me) and that I want to give this marriage one more give this marriage one more chance, at least for the sake chance, at least for the sake

of my children.of my children.

Only after 2 months of hell, I accidentally Only after 2 months of hell, I accidentally came across the came across the Marriage Marriage SherpaSherpa website website. . Something inside told me that I need Something inside told me that I need emergency help, professional help, emergency help, professional help, someone to tell me step by step what I have someone to tell me step by step what I have to do to survive an affair in my marriage. I to do to survive an affair in my marriage. I took a chance and bought the book. took a chance and bought the book. I was I was on a tight budgeton a tight budget but I knew that if it but I knew that if it turns out to be rubbish, there’s a money turns out to be rubbish, there’s a money back guarantee, back guarantee, so I went ahead and so I went ahead and bought itbought it. .

I read all the 170 I read all the 170 pages of “pages of “How to How to Survive an Affair – Survive an Affair – A Step by Step A Step by Step System for Saving System for Saving Your Relationship Your Relationship After it’s Been After it’s Been Shattered by an Shattered by an AffairAffair” – In 4 hours, ” – In 4 hours, stopping only once stopping only once to go the bathroom.to go the bathroom.

I felt I could breatheI felt I could breathe for the first for the first time since this whole thing time since this whole thing started. I realized the awful started. I realized the awful mistakes I made and how mistakes I made and how

important it was to do exactly as important it was to do exactly as described in book, step by step, described in book, step by step,

if I wanted to salvage my if I wanted to salvage my marriage. marriage.

This book is This book is not theoretical and not theoretical and generalgeneral.. This is a practical This is a practical step by step by step planstep plan, with exercises and tasks , with exercises and tasks you have to complete with each step.you have to complete with each step.

Both of you have to do it, but the Both of you have to do it, but the book will tell you how to do this book will tell you how to do this even even if you are the only one trying.if you are the only one trying.

The 3 “Surviving an Affair” The 3 “Surviving an Affair” Phases according to DrPhases according to Dr. .

GunzburgGunzburgPhase IPhase I: : Individual Healing – Individual Healing –

Understanding Personal Feelings Understanding Personal Feelings and Sorting through Emotionsand Sorting through Emotions

The first step of the first phase is The first step of the first phase is how to manage the painful how to manage the painful emotions. This is like the emotions. This is like the emergency room for the broken emergency room for the broken hearted.hearted.

How to cope with the initial trauma, How to cope with the initial trauma, the 9 shockwaves you will go through, the 9 shockwaves you will go through, the four roadblocks to healing and a 2-the four roadblocks to healing and a 2-step process for discovering hidden step process for discovering hidden emotions emotions ((very importantvery important!) !) are a few are a few of the things you will find in the first of the things you will find in the first phase chaptersphase chapters. . There’s also to heal There’s also to heal yourself from obsessive images and yourself from obsessive images and negative thoughts, how to rebuild trust negative thoughts, how to rebuild trust and transparency and much, much and transparency and much, much moremore. .

Phase IIPhase II: : Healing As a Healing As a Couple – Working Together Couple – Working Together to Identify and Resolve Key to Identify and Resolve Key

IssuesIssues After sorting out MY emotions, it After sorting out MY emotions, it

was time to focus on USwas time to focus on US. . How to How to prepare for recovery, how to prepare for recovery, how to communicate your feelings, 10 communicate your feelings, 10 critical conversations you have to critical conversations you have to take with your spouse and take with your spouse and protecting your relationship from protecting your relationship from further harmfurther harm. .

Phase IIIPhase III: : Negotiating a Renewed Negotiating a Renewed Relationship – Understanding How Relationship – Understanding How

to Rebuild and Sustain a New Trustto Rebuild and Sustain a New Trust--filled Partnershipfilled Partnership

How to restore the trust, 5 steps to How to restore the trust, 5 steps to total transparency in your marriage, total transparency in your marriage, 10 destructive habits that ruin the 10 destructive habits that ruin the love and how to open your heart love and how to open your heart again are a few of the steps in this again are a few of the steps in this phasephase. .

Note that this Note that this How to Survive an Affair bookHow to Survive an Affair book also has also has the the steps and actions that the steps and actions that the cheating spouse has to takecheating spouse has to take and and how he can handle his emotions before how he can handle his emotions before and after his affair. Also, this book has and after his affair. Also, this book has actual actual exercises and tasksexercises and tasks that you that you have to complete, to make sure you are have to complete, to make sure you are both doing the work and not just both doing the work and not just reading.reading.

To find out more about the To find out more about the book go to the official website book go to the official website

– – Right Here Right Here (and before it’s (and before it’s too late – too late – Right NowRight Now))