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“Reframing Failure” Gonzo Arzuaga

Reframing Failure

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taking failure in a positive manner

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Page 1: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Page 2: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

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Lesson  #1        Every  step  counts.    Lesson  #2        Don’t  give  up  too  soon.    

Lesson  #3        Forget  the  excuses.  Look  for  opportuniDes  everywhere.  Lesson  #4        Set  a  challenging  goal.    

Lesson  #5        It’s  only  in  your  mind.    

Lesson  #6        Never  regret.    

Lesson  #7        Look  forward  to  your  next  challenge.    

Lesson  #8        The  price  of  failure  is  higher  than  the  price  of  taking  risks.  Lesson  #9        There’s  always  a  bright  side.    

Lesson  #10      Change  yourself.    

Lesson  #11      Avoid  being  a  perfecDonist.    

Lesson  #12      A  failure  is  an  incredible  learning  experience.  Lesson  #13      Try  it.    

Lesson  #14      A  floor  from  which  to  jump.    

Lesson  #15      The  hidden  power  of  laughter.    

Lesson  #16      What  luck  really  means.    

Lesson  #17      Be  a  good  student  and  build  out  from  your  weaknesses.  

Lesson  #18      Learn  about  yourself  -­‐  ‘I’ve  never…  bragged’    

Lesson  #19      Change  your  strategy.  Try  once  more.    

Lesson  #20      The  “Not  losing”  Strategy.    

Lesson  #21      Your  aTtude  should  be  to  move  your  feet.    

Lesson  #22      Say  NO.  The  Best  is  yet  to  come.    

Lesson  #23      DeterminaDon.    

Table of Contents

Page 3: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Go  placidly  amid  the  noise  and  haste  and  remember  what  peace  there  may  be  in  silence.    

As  far  as    possible,  without  surrender,  be  on  good  terms  with  all  persons.    

Speak  your  truth  quietly  and  clearly;  and  listen  to  others,  even  the  dull  and  the  ignorant;  they  too  have  their  story.  Avoid  loud  and  aggressive  people;  they  are  vexaDons  to  the  spirit.  If  you  compare  yourself  with  others,  you  may  become  vain  and  biYer;  for  

always  there  will  be  greater  and  lesser  persons  than  yourself.  Enjoy  your  achievements  as  well  as  your  plans.  Keep  interested  in  your  own  career,  however  

humble;  it  is  a  real  possession  in  the  changing  fortunes  of  Dme.  Exercise  cauDon  in  your  business  

affairs;  for  the  world  is  full  of  trickery.  But  let  this  not  blind  you  to  what  virtue  there  is;  many  persons  strive  for  high  ideals;  and  everywhere  life  is  full  of  heroism.  Be  yourself.  Especially,  do  not  feign  affecDon.  Neither  be  cynical  about  love;  for  in  the  face  of  all  aridity  and  

disenchantment  it  is  as  perennial  as  the  grass.    

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Page 4: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Take  kindly  the  counsel  of  the  years,  gracefully  surrendering    the  things  of  youth.  Nurture  strength  of  spirit  to  shield  you  in  sudden  misfortune.  But  do  not  distress  yourself  with  dark  imaginings.  Many  fears  

are  born  of  faDgue  and  loneliness.  Beyond  a  wholesome  discipline,  be  gentle  with  yourself.  You  

are  a  child  of  the  universe,  no  less  than  the  trees  and  the  stars;  you  have  a  right  to  be  here.  And  whether  or  

not  it  is  clear  to  you,  no  doubt  the  universe  is  unfolding  as  it  should.  Therefore  be  at  peace  with  

God,  whatever  you  conceive  Him  to  be  and  whatever  your  labors  and  aspiraDons,  in  the  noisy  confusion  of  

life  keep  peace  with  your  soul.  With  all  its  sham,  drudgery  and  broken  dreams,  it  is  sJll  a  beauJful  

world.  Be  cheerful.    

Strive  to  be  happy.      

Max  Ehrmann,  Desiderata.  

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Page 5: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Every Step Counts Lesson  #1  

…they  are  full  of  life,  aTtude,  emoDons,  wishes,  dreams,  and  feelings.  You  shouldn’t  take  falls  as  failure  but  as  clean  slates.    

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When    you    fall  and  get  up,    the    first    steps  are    the  hardest,    the    toughest,  almost  like    baby    steps;  they  

Every  step  is  a  step  forward…  even  a  step  backwards  is  a  step  forward.  -­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

“ are  also  confused,  erraDc,  liYle…  even  uncomfortable  and  a  bit  difficult  to  take  but  they  are  also  full  

You  can  start  again,  get  to  know  life  one  more  Dme  and  not  everyone  has  that    chance.    There  is  an  enJre  world  to  be  conquered.    There    is    that    longing    for    victory,  survival,  conquest.  And  nothing  should  stop  you  from  geTng  up  and  going  forward.  

Page 6: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Failure,  most  of  the  Dme,  is  the  result  of  giving  up  too  soon.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Don’t Give Up Too Soon Lesson  #2  

Time  truly  does  heal  everything.  It  has  the  ability  to  let  us  forget  the  steps  we  took  that  were  wrong  and  allows  us  to  focus  on  the  good  ones.  Time  gives  us  perspecDve.  In  many  occasions,  it  will  take  longer  because  bad  moments  hurt  and  some  hurt  more  than  others.  It  can  take  years,  but  we  need  to  be  prepared  to  embrace  that  and  let  go  of  the  grudge.    

Even  with  the  smallest  things,  Jme  allows  us  to  slowly  learn  to  keep  the  good  and  let  the  harmful  stay  in  the  past.  

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Page 7: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Don’t Give Up Too Soon Lesson  #2  

Doing  is  hard,  because  we  humans  are  fearful  by  nature  and  need  to  learn  to  get  out  of  the  safe  zone.  We  will  be  counDng  sheep  for  nights  and  days  if  we  don’t.  As  helpful  and  valuable  as  Dme  is,  our  lives  our  finite  so  we  have  only  a  rather  long  period  of  Dme,  but  a  finite  period,  between  our  birth  and  our  goodbye.  That  Dme  in  the  middle,  has  an  ending  and  we  need  to  make  the  most  out  of  every  minute.  It  doesn’t  come  back  so  we  have  only  right  now  and  need  to  make  it  count.  

Think  of  Jme  like  a  train  that  can’t  return  to  the  staJon.  When  you  don’t  do  something  at  the  Dme  you  get  a  chance,  that  chance  might  be  gone  forever.  So  do  it!  Use  that  instant.  Grab  the  chance.  Jump.    

As  Paulo  Coelho  wrote  in  The  Alchemist,  “It  is  said  that  the  darkest  hour  of  the  night  comes  just  before  the  dawn.”  When  things  get  really  ugly  and  they  get  really  dark,  it’s  right  then  that  we  are  closest  to  achieving  something.  

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Page 8: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Lesson  #2  

Instead  of  backing  down  on  fear  and  defeated,  it  should  give  us  the  strength  to  conDnue  because  that’s  when  we  are  closest  to  our  goal.  So  grit  your  teeth,  don’t  think  about  it  too  much,  persevere  and  follow  the  path  you  dreamed  of.    

In  reality,  we  don’t  know  how  many  tries  it  will  take  to  get  to  our  goal.  But  if  you  keep  trying,  it’s  only  logical  that  your  possibiliDes  rise.  Never  give  up.  And  especially,  never  give  up  before  it’s  Dme.  The  next  try  might  be  it.  And  it’s  one  try  away.  So  don’t  throw  the  towel  too  early.    

Now  think  about  how  many  Dmes  you  quit  before  actually  failing.  Surprising,  right?  As  Elbert  Hubbard  said,  “There  is  no  failure  except  in  no  longer  trying.”  And  most  of  the  Dmes  we  quit,  we  have  no  reasons.  But  we  do  have  excuses,  which  reminds  me  of  Lesson  #3.  

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Don’t Give Up Too Soon

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Forget the excuses. Look for opportunities everywhere.

Lesson  #3  

Excuses  are  the  worst.  They  are  disguised  as  good  reasons,  but  they  aren’t.  Most  of  the  Dme,  when  we  fail  or  give  up  too  early,  we  are  giving  excuses  and  covering  our  fear  of  not  doing,  by  well…  not  doing.  

Get  rid  of  excuses.  If  you  screw  something  up,  just  say  so,  loud  and  clear  so  everybody  sees  your  courage.  If  things  don’t  work  out  the  way  you  expected  them  to,  accept  it.  If  you  actually  make  a  wrong  decision,  own  it,  admit  it  -­‐-­‐-­‐  it  shows  you  are  brave.  If  fate  has  other  plans  for  you,  take  the  lesson  and  move  on.  Live  with  all  of  this  but  don’t  let  it  haunt  you.  Acceptance,  not  ignorance,  is  bliss.    

As    for  opportuniDes  I,    for    example,    would  rather  be  an  opDmist.  Instead  of  picking  excuses  out  of  a  hat,  I’d  rather  search  and  find  new  paths  instead  of  going  for  the  whys  and  why  nots  of  failure.    

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Page 10: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Forget the excuses. Look for opportunities everywhere.

Lesson  #3  

Why  would  someone  dedicate  one’s  life  to  validate  the  reasons  behind  failure  when  you  could  actually  spend  that  Dme  doing  something  great?  I  am  convinced  it  will  work  out  for  me  and  life  will  need  to  come  prove  me  wrong.  In  the  meanDme,  I  try.  I  jump.  I  take  the  leap.    

Acceptance  is  bliss.  Making  mistakes  is  normal;  it’s  good,  as  aforemenDoned.  So  accept  and  learn  to  learn  from  your  missteps.  When  people  criDcize  you,  remember  that  doers  don’t  judge;  instead,  people  with  too  much  Dme  on  their  hands  judge.  And  when  you  already  know  of  a  mistake,  judging  is  easy.  So  don’t  worry  about  others.  They  give  you  nothing.    

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Page 11: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Forget the excuses. Look for opportunities everywhere.

Lesson  #3  

Place  your  own  bets.  And  don’t  forget  that  your  biggest  hit  is  in  trying.  Benjamin  Franklin,  who  clearly  understood  these  principles  used  to  say,  “I  never  a  man  who  was  good  at  making  excuses  who  was  good  at  anything  else.”  And  he  was  and  remains  right:  when  you  take  your  Dme  to  find  and  make  excuses  for  your  acDons,  you  lose  valuable  Dme  to  do  stuff.  Doers  don’t  make  excuses.  They  set  challenging  goals.  

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Don’t  look  for  excuses  to  jusDfy  why  you  failed.  Look  for  opportuniDes  and  reasons  where  to  build  your  next  success.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  “

Page 12: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Set a challenging goal Lesson  #4  

Sports  make  for  great  metaphors  when  we  try  to  understand  challenges.  Sportspeople,  unlike  most  people,  have  set  high  standards  for  themselves  and  are  driven  by  a  never-­‐ending  hunger  for  victory.  They  take  no  shortcuts.  But  they  do  take  risks  and  act.  They  do.  

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The  size  of  the  challenges  you  take  on  is  a  reflecDon  of  the  size  in  which  you  see  yourself.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

It’s  like  110  meter  hurdles.  These  races  are  run  by  top-­‐notch  athletes  who  not  only  have  to  be  prepared  to  run,  

but  they  need  to  prepare  themselves  to  also  jump  through  obstacles…  so  it’s  like  life  has  been  shrunk  to  a  single  sporDng  event.  Life  is  a  long  and  winding  road  that  has  hurdles  all  over  and  we  need  to  prepare  ourselves  to  jump.  

Page 13: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Set a challenging goal Lesson  #4  

Take  a  look  at  Olympic  pole  vaulters.  They  have  an  actual  goal  that  is  always  to  go  higher  and  higher.  Their  goals  need  to  be  high  enough  to  moDvate  them  and  move  them  to  achievement  -­‐  but  their  goals  also  need  to  be  low  enough  that  they’re  achievable.  

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Thinking  of  them,  do  this  exercise:  close  your  eyes  and  picture  an  auditorium.  Picture  it  full  of  people.  Try  100  people.  Then  try  500.  And  if  your  mind  allows  you  too,  try  2,000  people  siTng  there,  waiDng  for  you  to  talk.  They’re  there  to  listen  to  you.  Now  try  imagining  5,000  or  10,000.  A  very  large  crowd.  Transform  it  into  a  football  stadium  with  50,000  people,  all  there  waiDng  to  listen  to  what  you  have  to  say.  

All  of  a  sudden,  they  go  silent.  Their  eyes  are  all  on  you,  concentrated  on  the  spot  in  which  you’re  standing,  waiDng  for  you  to  say  something.  The  microphone  is  on.  

Page 14: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Set a challenging goal Lesson  #4  

Their  eyes  are  sDll  on  you  and  you  focus  on  your  soon-­‐to-­‐be-­‐out  words.  You  speak.  No  words  of  pampering,  no  salutaDons.  You  ONLY  state  your  GOAL.  Convinced.  Proud.  And  no  maYer  what  you  say,  they  automaDcally  start  laughing  at  you,  loud,  making  fun  of  whatever  you  said.  They  point  all  their  fingers  at  you,  calling  you  crazy,  calling  you  hopeless.  Apparently,  what  you  said  was  the  funniest  thing  they  had  ever  heard!  The  enDre  crowd  is  laughing  at  your  most  precious  dream.  It  truly  must  be  unaYainable,  ridiculous,  and  too  ambiDous  for  your  capabiliDes.    

Don’t  open  your  eyes.  Imagine  yourself  there  holding  your  ground.  In  the  depth  of  the  brightness  of  the  lights  around  you,  you  stay  put.  Unmoved.  If  you  can  hold  that  though,  you  found  your  calling.  Again,  whatever  it  is.  If  the  people  you  admire,  love,  or  care  about  and  even  the  general  public  is  against  you  and  you  can  sDll  stay  put,  jump.  If  you  want  to  run,  then  it’s  yourself  who  doesn’t  believe  you  can  achieve  it.  Aper  all,  it  was  a  stadium  in  your  mind.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Set a challenging goal Lesson  #4  

Will  you  have  chances  of  succeeding?  That  you  don’t  know.  But  if  you  set  a  high,  ambiDous,  huge  goal…  there  will  be  no  compeJJon!  

Richard  Brinsley  Sheridan  once  said,  “The  surest  way  to  fail  is  not  to  determine  to  succeed.’’  Only  YOU  can  transform  your  goals  into  chances  and  chances  into  reality.  No  one  else.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

It’s only in your mind. Lesson  #5    

The  exercise  we  just  did  was  a  way  of  showing  you  how  all  the  things  that  hurt  you  are  in  your  mind.  When  you  are  not  affecDng  anybody,  their  judgment  doesn’t  count  so  if  you’re  stopped  by  them,  you’re  choosing  to  be  stopped.  The  fact  that  you  didn’t  achieve  your  goal  this  Dme  doesn’t  mean  you’re  unsuccessful.  You  need  to  be  sure  like  I  am  that  you  will  succeed  the  next  Dme.  Or  the  Dme  aper  the  next  Dme.    

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Failure  is  only  in  your  mind.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

“ In  the  meanDme,  consider  the  things  you  learn  in  your  road.  The  people  you  met.  The  things  that  you  DID  accomplish.    

Even  if  we  fail  in  our  main  goal  once,  it  shouldn’t  mean  you’re  automaJcally  losing.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

It’s only in your mind. Lesson  #5    

Quite  the  opposite,  you  have  the  chance  to  see  beyond  and  find  actual  things  you  did  get.  Not  only  ‘lessons’  but  hard  evidence  that  the  road  isn’t  a  waste  and  what  you  win  depends  on  your  perspecDve.  

Not  accomplishing  a  goal  doesn’t  mean  you’ve  plainly  failed.  And  what  it  surely  doesn’t  mean  is  that  you’re  a  loser  or  a  failure  yourself.  Get  past  the  moment  and  go  on.  It’s  up  to  you  to  decide  if  you  believe  that  or  not.  Again,  it’s  all  about  perspecDve.  The  way  you  see  things  will  change  the  way  you  take  things,  understand  things.  

Think  of  this  William  S.  Gilbert  quote:  “Losers  visualize  the  penalDes  of  failure.  Winners  visualize  the  rewards  of  success.”  Visualize  the  rewards  and  you  are  one  step  ahead  of  everyone  else,  on  the  path  to  get  them.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Never regret. Lesson  #6  

We’ve  understood  already  that  failure  has  a  very  bad  reputaDon.  It  might  be  our  upbringing,  our  parents  growing  up  more  deprived,  or  even  the  educaDon  that  we  got  in  school.  In  any  case,  we  all  have  a  negaJve  percepJon  of  failure,  unfortunately.  

Now  the  problem  with  regret  is  that  it’s  the  very  same  consequence  of  our  fear  of  failure.  Most  of  the  Dme  

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When  you  look  at  the  past  and  think  “What  if…”  all  it  does  is  paralyze  you  for  the  future.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

we  don’t  do  something  out  of  fear  of  making  a  mistake,  we  end  up  seeing  we  were  meant  to  do  it  and  could  have  succeeded,  just  too  late  to  go  back.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Never regret. Lesson  #6  

“Why  didn’t  I…?”  “What  if  I  had  done…?”  “If  only  I…”  “I  would  have  done…”  

Yet  asking  ourselves  those  quesDons  does  us  more  harm  than  good.  It  sort  of  petrifies  us  in  stone,  leaving  a  negaDve  scar  from  what  we  didn’t  do.  Since  we  were  afraid  once,  it  is  only  logical  that  we  become  more  fearful  as  Dme  progresses.  Basically,  being  worried  about  what  happened  yesterday  clouds  your  eyes  from  watching  what  will  happen  tomorrow,  just  like  when  we  worry  about  yesterday’s  rain  and  miss  seeing  the  sun  that  came  out  today.  Be  hopeful  about  the  future.  Stop  complaining.  Stop  regre\ng.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Never regret. Lesson  #6  

“Remember  that  your  failures  are  the  seeds  of  your  most  glorious  successes.  Be  sad  if  you  must,  but  don’t  despair.”  So  goes  an  unknown  passage.  Be  sad.    

But  don’t  despair.  Instead,  start  preparing  for  your  next  baYle.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Look forward to your next challenge.

Lesson  #7  

If  we  understood  all  we’ve  learned  so  far,  we  know  that  life  gives  us  opportuniJes  all  the  Jme,  even  when  it  presents  challenges,  hurdles,  and  obstacles.  And  the  old  saying  says  that  when  life  gives  you  lemons,  you  should  make  lemonade.  What  it  basically  says  is  that  we  should  take  advantage  of  all  moments  to  build  something  instead  of  destroying.  

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I  don’t  want  to  take  to  the  grave  the  doubt  of  what  could  have  happened  if  I  had  tried.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Life  is  truly  a  present  and  the  past  just  doesn’t  let  you  unwrap  it.  It’s  a  gip  that  should  be  opened  today.  There  are  no  Dme  machines,  no  way  of  going  back.  There  simply  isn’t  a  way.  You  can  perfect  yourself  and  not  make  the  same  mistake  again  but  whatever  you  already  did  is  done.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Look forward to your next challenge.

Lesson  #7  

Use  the  past  as  your  feedback  session.  The  past  is  informaDon  of  what  not  to  do,  of  how  things  work.  With  such  valuable  informaDon,  all  that  is  lep  to  do  is  to  try  again.  Why  have  you  gone  through  all  the  trouble  of  learning  a  lesson  if  you  won’t  use  it  to  go  at  it  again?  Are  you  going  to  waste  the  lessons  of  the  past  staying  in  your  chair  doing  nothing?  I  hope  the  answer  is  no.  

So  when  you  fail,  start  seTng  a  new  challenge,  aim  for  that  one  now.  Imagine  big  inventors  such  as  Thomas  Alva  Edison.  He  brought  us  the  marvelous  light  bulbs  that  we  all  use  today.  Now  history  says  it  didn’t  happen  overnight,  but  that  it  took  him  10,000  tries  before  he  built  a  successful  bulb.  How  would  our  lives  be  today  had  he  stopped  at  the  9,999th  try?  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Look forward to your next challenge.

Lesson  #7  

Look  forward  to  something.  Your  next  step  brings  magic,  hope,  hunger  of  seeing  what  faith  prepared  for  you.  The  world  is  full  of  great  things  that  don’t  move,  things  that  are  yours  to  take  if  you’re  strong  and  you  persevere.  Go  get  them!  

Like  English  Chemist  Humphrey  Davy  once  said,  “The  most  important  of  my  discoveries  have  been  suggested  to  me  by  my  failures.”  Let  them  guide  you  instead  of  breaking  you.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The price of failure is higher than the price of taking risks.

Lesson  #8  

Going  into  the  unknown  isn’t  easy.  When  I  talk  about  reframing  failure  and  looking  at  in  under  a  different  light,  it  doesn’t  mean  I  don’t  know  that  it  gets  rough  at  Dmes.  It  does  and  it  will  conDnue  to  do  so.  But  the  exercise  you  need  to  do  is  seeing  beyond.  PuTng  things  in  a  balance  and  seeing  what  plate  is  heavier.  Do  you  want  to  pay  the  price  of  failing  or  pay  the  price  of  not  doing?  If  you  don’t  do  you  get  nothing.  If  you  do  and  fail  you  at  least  get  something.    

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The  only  price  you  have  to  pay  in  order  to  try  new  things  and  conquer  uncharted  territory  is  that  of  taking  the  risk  of  failing.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

So  use  your  resources  wisely  when  you  pay  in  life.  

Think  of  Bob  Mandel,  who  took  a  month  of  his  Dme  to  stand  on  the  same  New  York  corner  day  aper  day  and  invite  all  of  the  women  who  passed  by  for  a  coffee.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The price of failure is higher than the price of taking risks.

Lesson  #8  

All  of  them  said  no.  But  he  wasn’t  trying  to  hurt  himself.  He  was  trying  to  understand  what  failing  meant  for  him,  how  it  hit  him,  what  changes  it  made  in  him.  And  he  learned  the  hard  way!  

Overcoming  the  fear  of  rejecDon  and  in  turn,  not  being  scared  anymore  of  trying  what  might  not  work  out  well,  takes  you  places.  Takes  you  high.  Fear  on  its  own,  takes  you  nowhere.  And  there’s  nothing  worse  than  inacDon.  Not  having  done  anything,  not  even  something  wrong.    

Frances  Watkins  Harper  put  it  very  clearly,  “Apparent  failure  may  hold  in  its  rough  shell  the  germs  of  a  success  that  will  blossom  in  Dme  and  bear  fruit  throughout  eternity.”  See  beyond.  Look  at  the  bright  side.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

There’s always a bright side.

Lesson  #9  

We’ve  heard  the  ‘there’s  always  a  bright  side’  phrase  many  Dmes.  The  reason  why  these  phrases  become  so  popular  is  because  they  somewhat  help  you  visualize  things  you  already  know  but  haven’t  yet  seen.  For  example,  consider  doing  really  bad  at  something.  Then,  you  write  a  book  called,  “All  I  Tried  Went  Wrong.”  You  laugh  about  the  situaDons  that  happened  in  your  life  and  how  nothing  seems  to  go  right  for  you.  The  book  becomes  a  bestseller.  Failure?  Hardly.  

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It’s  not  whether  or  not  you  fall,  but  whether  or  not  you  want  to  live  your  life  down  there.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Thousands  of  thousands  of  successful  human  beings  have  gone  through  failure  and  got  back  up  on  their  feet.  What  they  did  was  focus  on  their  strengths  instead  of  their  weaknesses.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

There’s always a bright side.

Lesson  #9  

He  had  worked  his  enDre  life  building  his  store  and  when  he  came  back  from  a  much  deserved  vacaDon,  a  river  had  flooded  his  store.  He  lost  everything.  The  suffering  drove  him  to  become  a  moDvaDonal  speaker.  And  he  opened  his  store  again.    

As  the  German  proverb  goes,  “He  who  has  never  tasted  what  is  biYer  does  not  know  what  is  sweet.”  See  failure  as  the  moment  in  which  you  learn  to  taste  what’s  really  good.  It’s  actually  quite  simple:  if  it  was  all  easy,  then  nothing  would  be.  When  something  is  standard,  normal,  is  always  there,  then  it  becomes  pointless  to  fight.  And  we  lose.  Think  of  life  as  a  country  that  gives  you  double  ciDzenship:  you  are  a  ciDzen  of  success  and  of  failure  at  the  same  Dme.  Then  when  we  grow  up,  we  have  the  chance  to  choose  just  one  -­‐  we  can’t  live  with  two  different  passports.  Now  what  passport  will  it  be?  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

There’s always a bright side.

Lesson  #9  

Just  try  to  see  every  bump  in  the  road  as  an  opportunity.  Take  whatever  life  is  giving  you  and  make  something  good  out  of  it.  When  something  knocks  you  down,  think  why  it  happened.  That  maybe  that  road  wasn’t  yours.  Because  you’re  in  for  something  bigger.  

As  Abraham  Lincoln  once  stated,  “My  great  concern  is  not  whether  you  have  failed,  but  whether  you  are  content  with  your  failure.”  Do  whatever  you  want  to  do  even  with  failure.  Aper  all,  “Winning  is  a  habit.  Unfortunately,  so  is  losing,”  said  the  great  Vince  Lombardi.  What  will  your  habit  be?  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Change yourself. Lesson  #10  

We’ve  talked  abundantly  about  the  chances  to  find  in  failure.  How  we  need  to  see  unsuccessful  runs  as  the  doors  to  our  victory  leaps.  But  it  can’t  be  all  talk  and  no  acJon.  No  maYer  how  hard  your  problems  are,  the  key  to  conquering  them  is  not  trying  to  change  the  whole  issue,  but  rather  changing  yourself.  

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He  who  doesn't  move  his  feet  won't  stumble,  but  he  won't  get  ahead  either.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Change  is  good.  OpportuniDes  to  change  need  to  be  followed  by  the  acDon  of  changing.  Remember  that  by  doing  what  others  will  not,  tomorrow  you  will  be  able  to  do  what  others  simply  can’t.    

“A  man  can  fail  many  Dmes,  but  he  isn't  a  failure  unDl  he  begins  to  blame  somebody  else,”  said  John  Burroughs.  So  what  you  need  is  to  start  seeing  yourself  as  a  winner.  Believe  it.  Do  things  to  change  it.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Change yourself. Lesson  #10  

Ask  the  quesDon,  what  didn’t  work  out?  Was  it  a  job?  EducaDon?  Love  life?  OK.  Now  what  did  you  do  wrong?  You  hadn’t  studied?  You  didn’t  work  hard  enough  or  didn’t  look  confident  enough  for  that  interview?  Or  maybe  you  got  too  jealous  and  didn’t  enjoy  the  one  you  were  with?  Worried  too  much?  

Then  change.  Stop  the  madness.  Sit  down  and  plan  a  course.  A  new  course  of  study.  Dress  differently  for  the  next  meeDng.  Prepare  yourself.  Open  up  to  love.  Take  your  dreams  to  the  gym  and  workout,  change,  change,  change.  And  make  them  happen.  Which  takes  us  to  Lesson  #11.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Avoid being a perfectionist. Lesson  #11  

I  started  my  internet  company.  I  was  full  of  energy.  But  people  looked  at  me  with  that  ‘poor  boy’  kind  of  look.  Aper  a  couple  of  years,  things  came  my  way  and  suddenly  for  the  same  people  I  became  a  visionary.  

That  is  my  story.  But  all  along  I  knew  that  story  couldn’t  be  perfect.  As  we  previously  discussed,  acceptance  is  bliss.  Knowing  about  the  things  we  cannot  change  and  accepDng  them  is  truly  bliss,  because  we  can  focus  on  

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PerfecDonism,  if  not  handled  carefully,  might  as  well  end  up  being  the  germ  that  corrupts  success  and  turns  it  into  yet  another  failure.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

on  what’s  important.  On  what  can  be  changed.  

One  of  the  things  we  shouldn’t  try  to  be,  ever,  is  perfect.  PerfecDon  exists  in  the  things  of  life  but  not  in  humans.  The  fact  that  we  are  changing  all  the  Dme  and  that  we  live  so  randomly,  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Avoid being a perfectionist. Lesson  #11  

without  certainty  of  what’s  to  come,  is  proof.  And  since  you  can’t  be  perfect.  Don’t  try.  Instead,  aim  for  excellence.  

Try  to  be  the  best  you  can  be,  at  that  moment.  Always  strive  for  more.  Fight  for  being  just  a  liYle  beYer.  Aper  all,  if  perfect  existed  and  you  were  so  smart  and  powerful  that  you  could  reach  it  when  you  were  20  and  knew  you  would  live  to  100  years…  what  would  you  do  for  all  the  rest  of  the  Dme?  If  perfect  was  possible,  we  wouldn’t  have  dreams  to  fight  for.  Which  is  hardly  perfect.  

That  is  why  Emile  Zola  used  to  say,  “PerfecDon  is  such  a  nuisance  that  I  open  regret  having  cured  myself  of  using  tobacco.”  Don’t  lose  valuable  Dme  trying  to  be  perfect.  As  the  old  saying  goes,  “You’re  on  the  road  to  success  when  you  realize  that  failure  is  only  a  detour.”  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

A failure is an incredible learning experience.

Lesson  #12  

In  our  job  of  reframing  failure  I  have  come  to  say  many  Dmes  that  we  should  be  logical.  Being  logical  helps  us  understand  things  clearly,  without  sugar  coaDng.  So  let’s  try  this  other  logical  exercise:  you  set  a  goal,  it  worked.  Then  you  learn  what  you  should  do  to  repeat  success  in  your  future  projects.  You  have  a  formula.  

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Failure  has  to  be  thought  of  as  a  learning  experience.  Otherwise  it’s  just  unbearable  painful.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

If  we  do  that  with  what’s  good,  why  do  we  not  do  that  with  what’s  bad,  which  is  what  we  should  truly  tackle?  If  you  set  a  goal  and  it  didn’t  work,  then  learn  as  well!  It  will  teach  you  much  more  -­‐-­‐    knowing  what  you  shouldn’t  do  again  rather  than  knowing  what  you  should  repeat.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

A failure is an incredible learning experience.

Lesson  #12  

If  you  repeat  a  good  step,  circumstances  might  just  not  work  out  and  you  could  sDll  face  failure.  But  if  the  first  Jme  failed,  you  know  what  not  to  do.  And  yes,  you  might  fail  again  but  never  for  the  same  reasons.  

Failure  truly  is  an  incredible  learning  experience.  Every  single  Dme  you  start  a  project,  you  should  have  your  mind  set  on  victory  and  a  backup  plan  in  case  it  eludes  you.  In  fact,  you  should  plan  failures  and  what  you  will  learn  from  them  more  than  victories.  The  real  problem  aper  all  is  not  making  a  mistake,  but  learning  nothing  from  it.  Every  Dme  life  knocks  you  down,  you  should  not  only  stand  up  straight  and  walk  again  but  also  take  something  with  you.  You  learn  a  lot  from  your  mistakes  and  maybe  not  as  much  from  your  successes.    

Anton  Chekhov  used  to  say,  “One  must  be  a  God  to  be  able  to  tell  successes  from  failures  without  making  a  mistake.”  It’s  all  a  learning  process.  

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Page 35: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Try it. Lesson  #13  

If  one’s  dream  is  clear  and  it’s  a  hearuelt  dream,  all  failed  aYempts  are  roads.  Those  roads  are  obviously  not  taking  me  to  my  desDnaDon  but  they  are  not  driving  me  away.  Think  of  it  as  a  long  road  that  you  have  to  go  through  to  finish  a  long,  long  trip.  At  Dmes,  the  road  will  get  dark,  especially  at  night  and  lights  will  tell  you  to  turn  around.  Yet  when  the  day  comes  you  go  back  to  your  road.  And  so  it  goes.  

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The  only  way  to  become  an  expert  is  through  experience.  And  many  Dmes,  when  experimenDng,  we  fail.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Never  stopping  and  meeDng  people  and  learning  things  on  the  way  to  your  fate.  The  dream  is  sJll  there.  You  are  sDll  the  driver.  You  have  been  detoured  but  you’re  not  lost.  The  more  detours  you  take,  the  more  you  learn  and  the  closer  you  are  to  finding  the  right  path.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Try it. Lesson  #13  

Again,  every  failure  has  a  reason  and  isn’t  random.  Maybe  you  met  someone  criDcal  to  your  success.  Maybe  it  gave  you  a  new  skill.  Or  made  you  stronger  -­‐  your  most  inner  fibers  were  made  tougher.  Or  who  knows,  maybe  what  you  wanted  wasn’t  there  yet  and  you  needed  to  rest.  Failure  is  sort  of  like  luck,  energy  wise.  It’s  a  big  leap  that  the  universe  makes  you  take  when  you  are  about  to  lose  your  way.  It  sets  you  back  on  track.  

Aper  all,  like  Walter  Bagehot  said,  “The  greatest  pleasure  in  life  is  doing  what  people  say  you  cannot  do.”  Proving  people  wrong  might  be  one  of  the  strongest  driving  forces.  It  pushes  you.  It’s  the  floor  from  which  to  jump.  

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Page 37: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

A floor from which to jump.

Lesson  #14  

I  honestly  believe  mistakes  touch  an  inDmate  part  of  everyone.  I  am  no  stranger  to  failure.  And  I  have  suffered  for  it  but  was  able  to  get  back  on  my  feet.  There  is  truly  no  other  way  to  explain  why  we  are  so  afraid  of  failing,  than  thinking  there  must  be  a  spot  in  our  brains  that  failure  touches  in  a  way  no  other  feeling  does.  

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PerspecDve  is  everything.  You  can  either  see  failure  as  the  roof  that  cuts  your  possibiliDes  or  you  can  see  it  as  a  floor  from  which  to  take  another  jump.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

But  even  if  there  is  something  prevenDng  us  from  jumping,  we  sDll  have  our  free  will  to  do  whatever  pleases  us.  We  can  be  paralyzed  or  moving.  Which  will  you  choose?  Staying  put  or  dreaming  big?  Give  perspecJve  a  chance.  

Page 38: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

A floor from which to jump.

Lesson  #14  

Think  of  yourself  in  a  four-­‐walled  room.  The  ceiling  is  there  and  you  want  desperately  to  see  a  storm  of  shooDng  stars.  But  the  concrete  roof  is  blocking  you.  Now  you  could  stay  there  and  miss  the  beauty  of  nature  and  its  gips.  But  there  are  stairs  and  you  go  up,  you  open  a  door  and  put  your  feet  on  the  roof.  You  step  on  it.  And  now,  logic  says  that  if  it  is  below  your  feet,  it’s  no  longer  a  ceiling  right?  It’s  just  a  floor.  Floors  give  us  comfort  and  support.  Ceilings  put  a  stop  to  our  view,  while  floors  allow  us  to  find  ground.  

Look  at  the  stars  now.  You  didn’t  miss  them.  And  the  sky  is  the  limit.  Because,  “when  you  fall,  you  shouldn’t  get  up  empty  handed.”  Make  this  unknown  author’s  thought  a  mantra,  an  anthem.  Step  on  the  ceiling  that  blocks  you  and  transform  it  into  your  new  floor,  from  which  to  jump  to  new  heights.  

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Page 39: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The hidden power of laughter.

Lesson  #15  

A  few  lessons  ago,  we  tried  to  imagine  what  it  was  like  to  have  a  full  stadium  of  people  laughing  at  our  expense.  Our  dream  crashed  by  the  sound  of  their  mocking,  their  amusement.  Now  if  it  somewhat  lep  you  unseYled,  try  what  I  said  earlier:  if  everybody  does  the  same  thing,  it  becomes  normal,  regular.  

For  example,  let’s  say  you’re  a  runner.    

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Having  failed  can  also  be  considered  a  great  victory:  you’ve  defeated  the  fear  of  trying.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Then,  the  enDre  world  starts  running.  And  running  becomes  today’s  walking.  Then  running  just  doesn’t  exist  anymore.  Because  walking  that  fast  is  the  new  walking.  Now  go  back  to  imagine  the  laughter.  Imagine  that  you  start  laughing  with  them,  at  how  crazy  your  dream  was.    

Page 40: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The hidden power of laughter.

Lesson  #15  

By  the  end,  you’re  the  only  one  laughing.  You’re  laughing  at  an  enDre  stadium  who  didn’t  understand  that  dreaming  is  the  only  road  to  achieve.  It’s  the  step  prior  to  starDng  to  build.  

So  take  things  lightly,  make  jokes  about  it,  and  don’t  be  so  serious.  Relax  and  enjoy.  Life  will  start  flowing  easily  when  you  do.  Aper  all,  life  is  a  finite  moment  and  just  as  we  have  to  choose  between  ciDzenship  in  Failureland  or  Victoryland,  we  need  to  choose  if  we  want  to  spend  it  worrying  or  enjoying.  

So  it  didn’t  work  out  this  Dme?  Then  it  will  the  next  Dme,  with  what  you’ve  learned  from  this  fall.  Nothing  is  really  THAT  serious.  Compared  with  death,  which  is  the  only  unavoidable  part  of  life,  everything  is  vane  to  worry  about.  If  you  can  be  posiDve  you’re  capable,  then  failing  will  be  just  one  more  step,  like  a  staDon  in  the  train  road.    

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Page 41: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The hidden power of laughter.

Lesson  #15  

The  track  is  sDll  long  and  you  got  many  more  staDons,  more  likeable,  less  likeable.  In  the  meanDme,  laugh  and  prepare  yourself  for  victory.  

Samuel  Smiles,  who  had  a  very  interesDng  last  name,  said,  “It  is  a  mistake  to  suppose  that  men  succeed  through  success;  they  much  opener  succeed  through  failures.  Precept,  study,  advice  and  example  could  never  have  taught  them  so  well  as  failure  has  done.”  Take  his  lesson.  

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Page 42: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

What luck really means. Lesson  #16  

Does  luck  really  exist?  Luck  is  defined  as  a  random  event  that  is  posiDve,  like  something  that  JUST  happens,  without  cause,  without  any  reason  and  leaves  just  as  fast  as  it  happens.  But  I  don’t  believe  that  luck  exists,  not  in  that  form.  I  actually  believe  the  universe  is  on  our  side,  all  the  Dme,  and  we  just  make  it  harder  for  it  to  help  us.  So  when  the  Dme  requires  it,  if  our  energy  and  heart  are  in  the  right  places  but  our  mind  is  clouded,  then  the  universe  conspires  and  gives  us  ‘luck.’    

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Scars  of  defeat  show  the  willingness  to  reach  glory.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

But  luck  is  just  that,  the  quantum  leap  that  appears  like  a  hidden,  transparent  hand,  but  is  a  reflecDon  of  us  truly  believing  in  ourselves.  It  comes  when  we  most  need  it  and  it  comes  to  help  our  minds  be  clear  again.  Depending  on  every  situaDon,  it  is  very  helpful  for  very  different  reasons.  But  at  the  end,  luck  is  all  the  Dme  the  same.  

Page 43: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

What luck really means. Lesson  #16  

A  clearer  of  our  brains,  so  we  can  see  what  our  souls  already  saw.  

Luck  accommodates  us.  It’s  like  an  energy  boost  in  a  game  that  sets  us  back  on  track  when  our  fate  is  not  being  fulfilled.  Garry  Kasparov  always  said,  “Luck  helps  the  champion,”  and  it  is  true.  Nothing  happens  BECAUSE  of  luck.  It  happens  because  it  was  right  and  luck  was  just  there  to  help  us  realize  it.  But  without  will  of  victory,  without  hunger  for  glory,  nothing  will  truly  be  there.  Luck  will  be  running  aper  us  and  we  will  miss  it.  

“There  are  defeats  more  triumphant  than  victories,”  goes  the  saying  by  Michel  de  Montaigne.  And  we  should  believe  so.  Some  victories  are  just  that  but  some  defeats  are  like  double  successes.  We  get  through  them  to  our  goal.  And  we  conquer  the  defeat  itself.  

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Page 44: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Be a good student and build out from your weaknesses.

Lesson  #17  

It  sounds  easy  that  I  say  all  I’ve  said,  without  actual  tools.  I  already  menDoned  that  we  should  always  plan  ahead,  so  we  know  where  to  look  to  learn.  And  the  only  way  of  learning,  the  only  pracDcal  way,  is  from  weaknesses.  

Speeches  and  phrases  are  good,  but  what  I  truly  want  you  to  be  driven  by  is  acDon.  

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When  you  fail,  be  smart  enough  to  be  a  good  student.  Failure  open  is  your  best  teacher.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

These  lessons  are  for  waking  up  but  then  they  are  nothing  if  they  are  not  applied.  So  when  you  fall,  think:  

“What  did  I  do  wrong?”  

And  then  when  you  find  the  answer,  try  to  think  of  what  lies  beneath.  

Page 45: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Be a good student and build out from your weaknesses.

Lesson  #17  

Did  you  fail  because  you  weren’t  prepared?  You  weren’t  strong  enough?  You  should  have  been  more  responsible?  What  are  the  weaknesses  that  made  you  crumble?  

Again,  it’s  fairly  logical.  You  can’t  get  beaer  at  anything  in  life,  if  you  don’t  even  know  what  it  is.  Failure  is  the  only  available  window.  If  you  do  great  every  single  Dme,  without  even  an  inch  of  failure,  you  have  no  way  of  knowing  or  being  prepared  for  when  the  streak  of  victories  runs  out.  So  toughen  up  through  your  weaknesses.  Look  at  them  right  in  the  eyes,  face  them  and  don’t  run.  Just  the  opposite,  you  need  to  internalize  them  and  start  working  on  changing  them.  

When  you  get  to  conquer  them  all,  you  will  be  the  strongest  warrior.  Nothing  will  pierce  your  armor  and  you  will  be  able  to  defeat  even  the  largest  armies,  single-­‐handedly.  

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Page 46: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Be a good student and build out from your weaknesses.

Lesson  #17  

There  is  a  wise  Yiddish  proverb  that  says,  “He  who  lies  on  the  ground  cannot  fall.”  And  come  on,  where  else  would  you  go  if  you  were  already  are  at  the  boYom?  Rest  there,  look  up  and  see  where  you  need  to  go  and  use  the  space  to  learn  about  who  you  are.  

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Page 47: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Learn about yourself - ‘I’ve never… bragged’

Lesson  #18  

That  you  need  to  know  yourself  sounds  fairly  smart  right?  It  also  sounds  silly  to  some  people,  because  they  think  ‘you  already  know  yourself,  from  the  start.’  But  that  is  quite  far  from  the  truth.  In  fact,  humans  are  fearful  but  they  are  also  blind  and  confident.  We  are  all  afraid  of  failing  but  we  also  think  we  are  the  best  ones  and  have  a  very  hard  Dme  seeing  beyond  our  own  egos.  

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He  who  always  brags,  ‘I’ve  never  failed  in  my  life,’  most  probably  won’t  have  achieved  anything  that  makes  him  proud.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

So  when  we  first  fail,  our  world  kind  of  crumbles  under  our  feet.  We  didn’t  know  ourselves  that  well  aper  all,  did  we?  From  defeat,  the  most  important  thing  of  all  items  to  pick  up,  the  biggest  lesson  to  take  home,  is  what  you  learn  about  yourself.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Learn about yourself - ‘I’ve never… bragged’

Lesson  #18  

Mistakes,  bumps,  failures,  they  all  show  you  who  you  truly  are,  how  you  react  to  adversity,  if  you  need  more  Dme  or  if  you’re  ready  to  tackle  even  bigger  dreams.  

Knowing  your  flaws  also  makes  the  strengths  stronger.  Now  you  know  what  to  change.  And  just  as  weaknesses  you  learn  about  yourself  are  the  starDng  point  from  which  to  be  a  beYer  self,  your  strengths  are  the  tools  you  will  use  to  get  there.  See  these  examples:  

Are  you  shy  and  have  no  confidence  when  you  approach  people  but  you  have  good  wriDng  skills?  Jump  to  starDng  your  own  blog;  tell  the  world  your  ideas.  You  know  what  will  happen?  People  will  read  you  and  comment  about  how  much  of  a  great  person  you  seem  to  be,  that  you  should  do  more  and  help  people  through  your  words.  And  they  will  listen.  

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Learn about yourself - ‘I’ve never… bragged’

Lesson  #18  

Or,  are  you  super  anxious  all  the  Dme,  nervous  and  you  lost  an  interview  because  of  it?  And  they  told  you  it  seemed  like  you  were  very  loyal  and  hard-­‐working  but  the  job  required  you  to  stay  strong  under  difficult,  long-­‐term  situaDons  and  your  anxiety  was  going  to  be  bad?  There  it  is!  Your  strength  is  that  you  are  loyal,  you  are  reliable.  Go  meet  clients,  start  your  own  firm.  Set  your  own  pace.  Show  that  anxiety  also  means  fast  results.  And  now  you  the  one  always  delivering  them  as  promised.  

Change  your  world.  And  then  you’ll  change  the  world.  Failure  is  a  maYer  of  aTtude,  so  you  beYer  check  within  yourself.  “No  man  ever  became  great  or  good  except  through  many  and  great  mistakes,”  William  E.  Gladstone  said.  And  he  was  SO  right.  There’s  no  other  way.   

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Page 50: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Change your strategy. Try once more.

Lesson  #19  

So  you  are  now  saying,  “I  have  done  all  this.”  I  believed.  And  I  failed.  I  was  ready.  And  I  failed.  

Well  you  should  know  humans  are  the  only  species  that  makes  the  same  mistake  over  and  over  again.  Albert  Einstein  used  to  go  further  and  said  that  not  only  do  we  make  the  same  mistakes  over  and  over  again,  but  we  expect  different  results.  

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One  thing  is  to  have  failed.  A  very  different  thing  is  to  consider  yourself  a  failure.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

So  you  have  tried  and  tried.  But  did  you  learn  anything?  Have  you  changed?  Or  is  your  life  more  like  ongoing  déjà  vu,  always  repeaDng  the  story?  OK  then.  Sit  down  and  start  looking  back  at  what  you  did  wrong.  No  judgments.  No  punishing.  Learn.    

Look  again.  What  are  you  repeaDng?  

Page 51: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Change your strategy. Try once more.

Lesson  #19  

George  Bernard  Shaw  once  said,  “Success  does  not  consist  in  never  making  mistakes  but  in  never  making  the  same  one  a  second  Dme.”    

And  there  is  no  purer  truth.  Make  thousands  of  mistakes.  Just  don’t  make  the  same  ones.  Don’t  be  fixated,  learn.  Aper  all,  if  you  haven’t  tried,  how  will  you  succeed?  Think  of  life  as  the  biggest  quesDon  of  all.  And  we  all  know  that  quesDons  that  are  not  asked  already  have  “NO”  as  their  answer.  So  ask.  Ask  a  lot.  Dream.  Learn.  Try.  Jump.  

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Page 52: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The “Not Losing” Strategy. Lesson  #20  

Almost  everyone  in  the  world  choose,  consciously  or  unconsciously,  the  strategy  that  I  call  of  “Not  Losing.”  I  mean,  you  must  have  wondered  why  there  are  so  few  humans  that  are  incredibly  famous,  rich,  and/or  successful,  right?  Why  are  there  so  few  movie  stars?  Why  are  CEOs  so  important?  Well,  exactly  because  most  people  tend  to  take  a  different  strategy  than  that  of  taking  a  leap  forward,  to  the  unknown.  

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No  failure  is  mortal  if  it  doesn’t  take  your  will  to  try  again.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Successful  people  take,  “The  Yes  to  Winning,”  approach.  They  are  not  daredevils  who  aren’t  afraid  of  losing.  They’re  afraid  too.  But  they  prefer  to  see  each  chance  as  a  way  of  winning.  

Instead  of  the  people  who  say,  “I’d  rather  not  lose.”  

Page 53: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The “Not Losing” Strategy. Lesson  #20  

Can  you  change  from  one  to  the  other?  Yes,  of  course.  But  you  need  to  be  aware  of  why  you  are  picking  the  negaDve  strategy  in  the  first  place.  

Most  of  us  hate  rejecJon.  We  have  thoughts  about  success  and  making  mistakes.  Big  ‘winners’  also  hate  rejecDon.  But  they  know  how  to  handle  it.  They  learned  how  to  handle  rejecDon  and  failures  and  if  they  can  do  it,  so  can  you.  If  rejecDon  paralyzes  you  and  makes  you  avoid  doing  something,  then  you’re  ‘not  losing.’  Actually  ‘not  losing’  means  ‘already  lost.’  If  you  don’t  do  anything  to  achieve  something,  oh  well,  you’re  sure  not  going  to  achieve  it.  That’s  the  only  thing  for  sure.  ‘Not  losing’  in  my  mind  sounds  like  ‘I’m  losing  for  sure.’    

Now  people  who  chose  to  take  risks  and  pick  the  ‘winning’  strategy  are  aware  that  things  can  go  bad,  that  their  acDons  might  not  take  them  where  they  want.  But  they  trust  themselves  and  their  fortune.    

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Page 54: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

The “Not Losing” Strategy. Lesson  #20  

They  are  true  believers  that  whatever  happens,  it’s  for  the  best.  They  consider  what  can  happen  if  things  don’t  work  out.  They  evaluate,  “what’s  the  worst  thing  that  can  happen  to  me  if  it  doesn’t  work?”  And  the  answer  doesn’t  scare  them.  

Fear  makes  the  difference.  It’s  what  makes  you  choose  the  wrong  strategy.  So  you  need  to  learn  to  manage  your  fear.  You  have  to  know  how  to  handle  it  in  order  to  win.  Aper  all…  you  can  always  go  back  easily  to  your  limited  mental  box  whenever  you  want.  

“We  climb  to  heaven  most  open  on  the  ruins  of  our  cherished  plans,  finding  our  failures  were  successes,”  said  Amos  Bronson  AlcoY.  It’s  all  perspecJve.  

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Page 55: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Your attitude should be to move your feet.

Lesson  #21  

Life  is  full  of  moments  that  you  can  explain  through  metaphors.  So  what  are  some  broken  eggs,  when  referring  to  failure,  when  you  actually  get  to  keep  the  hen  that  lays  them?  If  you  only  focus  on  the  eggs  you’ve  broken,  then  your  focus  is  wrong.  Instead,  focus  on  what  really  needs  aYenDon:  the  next  step.  Open  your  eyes,  see  things  in  perspecDve  and  don’t  let  even  your  own  negaDve  aTtude  be  defeaDng.    

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He  who  doesn’t  move  his  feet  will  not  fall.  But  he  will  also  not  move  forward.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Failure  will  not  be  there  forever.  It’s  just  a  staDon  like  we  said.  Move  on.  Keep  travelling.  

Tripping  does  not  mean  falling.  Nobody  is  perfect.  It’s  all  in  the  aTtude.  What  doesn’t  kill  you  makes  you  stronger.    

Page 56: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Your attitude should be to move your feet.

Lesson  #21  

All  of  those  sayings  are  true  and  they  should  push  you  to  understand  that  no  maYer  what  you  do,  if  you’re  focused,  you  can  make  it  even  ager  all  the  falls.  

Now  if  you  see  failure  negaDvely  every  Dme  you  encounter  it,  then  it  is  also  real.  Without  acDng,  moving  your  feet,  you  would  never  find  your  way  out.  It’s  all  in  your  aTtude.  You  see  yourself  as  a  loser?  Then  you  will  be  losing  all  the  Dme.  Unfortunate  events  will  ALWAYS  happen,  so  instead  of  trying  to  avoid  them,  let  them  come  and  fight  them  and  make  them  your  own.    

Successful  people  take  failures  as  background  noise,  as  something  that  will  always  be  there.  And  for  unsuccessful  people,  it’s  like  music.  Failures  are  like  the  toll  in  the  highway.  The  highway  is  something  that  helps  you  to  get  safer,  faster,  and  smoother  to  your  desDnaDon.  And  the  toll  is  the  price  to  enjoy  that.  But  if  you  decide  to  avoid  the  toll,  there’s  no  way  to  get  there.  You  just  stay  where  you  are.  Numb.  

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Page 57: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Your attitude should be to move your feet.

Lesson  #21  

A\tude  makes  such  a  difference  that  even  in  the  words  of  two  people,  aTtude  makes  the  enDre  difference.  While  a  loser  would  tell  himself  that  he  could  never  make  it  again  and  that  he  should  quit,  someone  successful  would  see  this  as  what  not  to  do.  In  people  who  believe  they  are  losers,  failure  is  just  a  way  of  telling  ‘yes,  I  am.’  For  victorious  people,  it’s  circumstanDal.  

What  you  should  know  is  that  just  like  there’s  never  a  good  Dme  to  get  sick,  there’s  never  a  good  Dme  for  ‘this  project,’  or  ‘just  now.’  Things  need  to  happen  because  you  want  them  to,  not  because  it  is  the  right  Dme.  It  will  never  be.  The  right  Dme  is  in  your  hands.  

A  friend  of  mine,  who  has  a  design  company  (and  in  fact  most  business  people)  has  a  process  in  which  a  certain  amount  of  errors  are  permiYed,  in  order  to  be  prepared  in  case  they  actually  happen.  Errors  being  a  part  of  his  processes  make  the  processes  beYer.    

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Page 58: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Your attitude should be to move your feet.

Lesson  #21  

And  it’s  not  like  he  goes  and  makes  them  on  purpose.  But  he’s  ready  in  case  they  happen.  And  he  learns  and  they  never  happen  again.  

It’s  not  what  happens,  but  what  you  do  with  it.  It’s  not  if  you  failed,  but  if  you  feel  like  a  loser.  

It’s  not  the  cards  you  get,  but  how  you  play  the  hand.  

Just  like  George  Canning’s  phrase,  “Indecision  and  delays  are  the  parents  of  failure.”  Don’t  feed  them!  

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Page 59: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Say NO. The Best is yet to come.

Lesson  #22  

One  of  the  last  things  I  want  you  to  learn  is  to  reject  things.  Learn  to  say  no.  Reject  projects  if  they  don’t  go  your  way.  Don’t  do  things  because  “you  have  to.”  When  learning  to  deal  with  rejecDon,  you’ll  become  smarter  when  you  say  NO  without  guilt.  SomeDmes  you  take  tasks  or  project  that  you  don’t  like,  just  because  others  ask  for  it.  Why  don’t  you  say  no  without  feeling  guilty?    

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Success,  just  like  failure  should  be  taken  lightly.  In  both  cases,  the  best  is  yet  to  come.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

We’re  not  used  to  saying  NO  to  people  asking.  Respect  yourself,  your  Jme,  and  your  energy.  

How  do  you  say  NO  without  feeling  guilty?  Well,  check  out  this  story  that  happened  to  me  a  while  ago.    

Page 60: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Say NO. The Best is yet to come.

Lesson  #22  

The  phone  rang  and  the  secretary  took  the  call.  Aper  a  funny  conversaDon  with  the  caller,  she  hung  up.  The  ice  was  broken  in  the  room  so  she  said,  ‘she  wanted  to  come  now,  but  she  needs  to  book  an  hour,  as  the  doctor  is  super  busy.  Last  week  for  example,  a  person  called  for  another  denDst  and  was  given  an  hour  for  a  couple  days  later.  She  called  to  ask  and  the  doctor,  always  busy,  had  only  space  three  weeks  from  the  date.’  

She  ended  up  telling  us  that  even  with  space,  it  isn’t  good  to  show  you  actually  have  hours  lep,  because  having  no  paDents  means  there’s  something  wrong.  So  in  all  stages  in  life,  someDmes  it’s  beYer  to  say,  “I  can’t  help  you  right  now,  I’m  booked  unDl…  If  you  can  wait,  I’ll  be  more  than  glad  to  work  in  your  project.”  

“A  minute's  success  pays  the  failure  of  years,”  Robert  Browning  once  thought.  Think  about  it  when  you  read  my  last  lesson.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Determination. Lesson  #23  

The  reason  why  I  am  finishing  these  lessons  with  one  word,  determinaDon,  is  because  of  its  power.  Like  my  quote  below  states,  I  truly  would  rather  go  against  someone  with  more  money,  or  more  skills,  but  not  someone  with  a  goal  set  in  stone  and  who  has  more  determinaDon  than  I  do.  DeterminaJon  is  power.  It  is  energy.  Drive.  DeterminaDon  is  what  pushes  us  even  beyond  our  wildest  and  most  fearful  moments.  It  puts  the  past  behind  because  it  moves  us  to  the  future.    

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I’d  rather  compete  against  a  more  talented  individual,  than  someone  more  determined  than  me.  

-­‐  Gonzo    Arzuaga  

Remember  when  you  learned  to  ride  a  bike?  Remember  that  moment  and  think  of  jumping  to  needing  to  learn  how  to  ski.  Completely  different,  out  of  the  one  comfort  zone  you  had.  The  terrain  is  steeper,  there’s  no  concrete,    

Page 62: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Determination. Lesson  #23  

it’s  cold,  you’re  wearing  lots  of  clothes,  you  need  to  move  to  the  sides,  no  way  to  stop  but  with  your  body.  All  of  a  sudden  you  need  to  act  different  and  think  different.  Obviously,  results  are  also  different.  Thinking  outside  of  the  box,  being  determined,  is  what  will  get  you  through  that  task,  or  any  task  you  set  for  yourself.  

Changing  your  mindset  and  going  from  the  loser’s  mind  to  that  of  the  victorious,  is  the  same.  When  you  start,  you  might  not  know  if  you’ll  do  it  right.  Or  if  you  ever  will.  But  there  is  what  I  call  a  ‘moment  of  truth,’  a  second  in  the  hours  and  days  and  months  of  baYles  in  which  you  just  realize...  You  can  do  it.  There’s  a  chance.  And  failure  and  the  fear  of  it  is  gone.  You  reminiscence  about  the  past  and  remember  how  you  thought  it  would  be  hard,  impossible.  But  you  are  already  leaving  that  in  the  rear-­‐view  mirror,  full  speed  ahead  to  the  future.  Aper  the  moment  of  truth,  whenever  you  fall,  you’ll  know  it’s  just  a  bump,  but  no  longer  a  crash.    

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“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Determination. Lesson  #23  

“Failure  will  never  overtake  me  if  my  determinaDon  to  succeed  is  strong  enough.”  Og  Mandino  was  right.  It’s  what  takes  us  to  jump  into  the  river  and  cross  to  the  other  side.  And  when  the  waves  get  rougher,  I  sDll  go  for  them.  Blinded  by  determinaDon.  It’s  courage.  Embracing  the  need  for  success.  It’s  being  convinced  to  the  bone,  the  unbreakable  willingness  to  conDnue.  No  way  back.    

Oscar  Wilde  has  an  outstanding  quote  for  it:  “Experience  is  simply  the  name  we  give  our  mistakes.”  And  yes,  someDmes  you  win,  someDmes  you  lose.  Knowing  it  is  the  real  game.  Knowing  it  and  sDll  risking  it  all,  going  all  in,  is  the  real  victory.    

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Page 64: Reframing Failure

“Reframing  Failure”  -­‐  Gonzo  Arzuaga  

Determination. Lesson  #23  

So  I  leave  you  with  a  poem  I  heard  someone  say  to  someone  else  a  long  Dme  ago:    

"I  wish  you  enough  sun  to  keep  your  aTtude  bright.  I  wish  you  enough  rain  to  appreciate  the  sun  more.    I  wish  you  enough  happiness  to  keep  your  spirit  alive.  I  wish  you  enough  pain  so  that  the  smallest  joys  in  life  appear  much  bigger.    I  wish  you  enough  gain  to  saDsfy  your  wanDng.    I  wish  you  enough  loss  to  appreciate  all  that  you  possess.  I  wish  enough  ‘Hello's’  to  get  you  through  the  final  ‘Goodbye.’”  

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