Dealing With Difficult People

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

DIFFICULT

Definition: hard to do, hard to deal with, hard to carry out, hard to make out

(Merriam Webster)


Is DIFFICULTY

real or

imaginary?

When something or

someoneis “difficult”

what do you experience?



PONDERABLE

Conflicts have value.


All behaviors have their own usefulness.


Differences challenge status quo and

provide a platform for change.


Conflicts form the bridge between stability and change.


Conflicts serve as feedback.


Conflicts form the basis of creativity and innovation .


Conflicts clear up assumptions and build stronger relationships


Differences mean you are in the flow of life – a participant,

not an observer.


Disturbances & differences are essential for self growth

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE Strategies in managing conflicts1. Withdrawal – lose/lose 2. Forcing – win/lose3. Smoothing – no win/no lose4. Compromising – lose/win5. Confronting – win/win


The Turtle Withdraws into shell to avoid conflicts Gives up personal goals and relationships Stays away from conflicting issues and people

involved

• Attitude : “I’ll withdrawal rather than face the issue”.

• Position: Lose-Lose


The Shark

Overpower others forcing them to accept their resolution.

Goals – important; Relationships – not important

Will get what they want…at any price! Attack :“Attack, overpower, overwhelm and

intimidate”! Position: Win-Lose


The Teddy Bear

• Relationships – important; Goals – not much• Conflicts damage relationships Want to be liked • Attitude : “I’ll let you have your way so

you’ll like me.” • Position: Lose-Win


The Fox

Moderate concern for goals and others Compromises Strive for agreement in conflict Attitude : “To settle things, I’ll give up this

and you give up that.” Position: No-Win, No-Lose


The Owl

Values goals and relationships Collaboration Conflict improves relationships & eases tension Important: Everyone is pleased with outcome Attitude : “I’m satisfied once conflict is

completely resolved”. Position: Win-Win


Ponderables about Conflicts:

Conflicts have value.• All behaviors have their own usefulness.• Differences challenge status quo and provide a

platform for change.• Conflicts form the bridge between stability and

change.• Conflicts serve as feedback.• Conflicts form the basis of creativity and innovation .• Conflicts clear up assumptions and build stronger

relationships• Differences mean you are in the flow of life – a

participant, not an observer.• Disturbances and differences are essential for self

growth.


Few basic points in dealing with Difficult people:

1. Address the issue, not the person.2. Use passive voice. E.g. “ the attitude towards

the work is not working towards the goals”3. Listen patiently till you sense the issue.4. Talk to people, not about people.5. Be specific in your communication.6. Set future expectations.7. Create a secure space to absorb conflict and

convert to useful behavior.


By the way

Who am I?


What I take home!!


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Dealing With Difficult People