1. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION PROJECT Shandelier Boyd Smith Liberty University HSER 508 Spring 2012

2. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATIONOUTLINE Introduction Define interpersonal communication Identification of an overarching goal (OAG) Definition of enlarging the conversation Description of how my background and behavioral blend influence conversation (positively and negatively) Defining potential barriers in my interpersonal context How am I going to deal with each of my potential barriers Identify and provide solutions to nose pollution both internal and external Plan of action for my overarching goal 2 3. WHAT IS INTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION? The type or kind of communication that happens whenthe people involved talk and listen in ways thatmaximize the presence of the personal (Stewart, 2012, p. 36). Note: When communication emphasizes the personsinvolved rather than just their roles or stereotypicalcharacteristics, interpersonal communication ishappening. In other words when communicators giveand receive or talk and listen in ways that emphasizetheiruniqueness, unmeasureability, responsiveness, reflectiv3eness, and addressability then the communicationbetween them is interpersonal. 4. OVERARCHING MASTER GOAL It is difficult to understand others until we learn to listen effectively to ourselves (Burley- Allen, 1995, p.82). My overarching goal is to become more aware of my internal thought process which result in negative conflict, feelings of frustration, stress and unworthy of what God has for me.4 5. ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION Theres a direct link between the quality of yourcommunication and the quality of your life(Stewart, 2009, p. 6)5 6. ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION CONT. According to Petersen (2007) our stomachs expand with overload ofmixed emotions They press the heart into bricks in our chest, sending our relatingabilities south. The upward expansion flattens our brains, forcing ourthinking, hearing and seeing off kilter. When our brains are flat, we cant hear, see, think or act sensibly. This causes our systems to get out of whack which affects how wecommunicate.(Petersen, 2007, p.23) 6 7. Positive Influences Adjust wellBACKGROUND Family values African American Family support Female Wisdom Two-parent/working household Intelligent Youngest of five children Independent Educated /1st in family Negative Influences Discrimination Not a team player Too risky All over the place goal-wise Soft-spoken7 8. BEHAVIORAL BLENDSpecific personality pattern of the way I think, act and feel. According toCarbonell (2008), the model of human behavior are four basic types oftemperament known as the Four Temperament Model of HumanBehavior/ Four DISC Personality Types.D active/task-oriented I active/people-orientedS- passive/people-orientedC-passive/task-oriented8 9. BEHAVIORAL BLEND CONT. My personality type is determined by two perspectives (1) my guarded behavior/ whats expected of me and(2) the more casual and open part of me/ this is me.The Uniquely You assessment identified mybehavioral blend as,This is expected of me! IThis is me! C/I/S 10. DESCRIPTION OF BEHAVIORAL BLEND This is expected of me! - I This is me! - C/I/S Inspiring Passive Influencing Outgoing/ Reserved Humorous Life of the party Open Like to interact with people Short-sighted vision I prefer peace and harmony Interested in people I enjoy organized environments Inducing Flexible Standing out in a crowd Need to be more decisive and(Carbonell, 2008, p. 25 27)direct (Carbonell, 2008, p. 191)10 11. POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES I tend to take the friendly & compliant perspective Strong personal skills Very warm on an individual basis Usually do what I am told I dont like coloring outside the lines or cutting corners I enjoy open conversations and detailed discussions(Carbonell, 2008, p. 191 193) 11 12. NEGATIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES Overuse my analytical skills Lack of being commanding or demanding I think too much or too long about solving a problem I tend to be too quiet & humble that no one knows I am present Struggle with those who want immediate action or answers I turn people off with my opinions (Carbonell, 2008, p. 194 - 195 12 13. POTENTIAL BARRIERSDifficult or challenging conversations (Stewart, 2009, p. 95)Finding my sense of entitlement to speak up(Stewart, 2009, p. 222)Negative self-talk (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 99)Disclosing myself to others (Stewart, 2012, p. 211)Fatigue (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 64 65)Rescuing others (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 113, 13 14. BARRIER SOLUTIONS Think clearly and honestly about who I am, by strengtheningmy foundation Recognize what matters most Change negative statement to a positive Be more willing to share myself with others Listen at level 2 or make notes (Burley- Allen, 1995, p. 65) Become aware of OK attitudes (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 37) 14 15. NOISE POLLUTIONFactors that influence us to be distracted fromlistening effectively at level 1 (Burley-Allen, 1995).Two types of noise pollution 1) Internal Noise 2) External Noise 16. NOISE POLLUTION CONT.Internal Noise Solutions Hearing what you want to Not allowing past experiencesheardictate how I listen Biased Listening Patience Emotional Listening Positive Fatigue Process information better(Burley- Allen, 1995) (Burley-Allen, 1995)16 17. NOISE POLLUTION CONTINUEDExternal Noise Solutions Loud traffic noises Find a peaceful place inside Views of outside activity or Go to a place where there aresceneryless distractions Doing two or three things at Focus on one thing at a timeone time Ask for understanding and Talker speaking too rapidlyclarity(Burley-Allen, 1995) 17 18. PLAN OF ACTION Take a vacation from classes so I can reflect on what Ive learned from this course! Listen with intent. Paraphrase for clarity Focus more on the other person18 Respect what others say is important to them Manage time better 19. PLAN OF ACTION CONT. Acquiring a humble spirit Stand up for myself Improve my indecisiveness Begin to demand whats rightfully mine Work on managing conflict Try not to be so intense 19 20. CONCLUSION Its easy to overlook oneself and point the finger at others. Mymain objective is to do a lot of soulsearching, praying, fasting, whatever it takes to rid myself ofthe things that will hinder me from being effective to theKingdom of God. I never imagined that this class would provoke me to digdeep within me to uncover some of those ugly things that Iknew was there, but never knew how to approach. Thiscourse left me no other choice. Thank you! 20 21. REFERENCES Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill: A self-teaching guide. (2nd ed.). New York: John Wiley & Sons Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources. Carbonell, M. (2005). Uniquely You. Retrieved June 27, 2011 from Uniquely You. https://www.uniquelyyou.com Peterson, J.C. (2007). Why dont we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Peterson Publications. Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal 21 communication. (11th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill