Chapter 8

Managing Conflictin Relationships

• Describe the factors that lead to productive conflict

• Identify conflict triggers in yourself and others

• Explain the forces that influence how people handle conflict

Chapter Outcomes

• Evaluate and employ strategies for managing conflict in different situations

• Compare levels of resolution in conflict outcomes

Chapter Outcomes (cont.)

A negative interactionbetween two or more interdependentpeople, rooted insome actual orperceiveddisagreement

Conflict

The way we engage

in conflict and address

disagreements with

our relational

partners

Conflict Management

Unproductive Conflict

• Conflict that is managed poorly• Has a negative impact on the

individuals and the relationship• Can lead to health problems• Leads to aggression in the

relationship

Productive Conflict

• Conflict that is managed effectively

• Fosters healthy debate when people are actively engaged

• Leads to better decision making

• Spurs relationship growth

•Inaccurate perceptions

•Incompatible goals•Unbalanced costs and rewards

•Provocation, or the intentional instigation of conflict

Conflict Triggers

Conflict Triggers (cont.)

• Events that spark conflict:– Aggression– Identity management– Lack of fairness– Incompetence– Relationship threats

•Power Dynamics– Differences in power

related to:• Resources• Feelings• Anything the

other values

Factors Affecting Conflict

•Culture and Conflict– Individualistic cultures:

• Emphasize personal needs, rights, and identity

• “I” attitude

– Collectivistic cultures:• Emphasize group identity and needs• “We” attitude

Factors AffectingConflict (cont.)

•Attitudes toward conflict:– Affect how willing you are to discuss

disagreements– Affect how productively you handle

conflict– Affect willingness to discuss certain

topics (communication boundary management)

Factors AffectingConflict (cont.)

•Communication Climate

Factors AffectingConflict (cont.)

•Culture and Conflict (cont.)

– Gender differences:• Criticism and complaints• Contempt• Defensiveness• Stonewalling

Factors AffectingConflict (cont.)

•Communication Channel– Poor channel choices can lead to

conflict.– Channel choice affects

conflict management.

Factors AffectingConflict (cont.)

Factors AffectingConflict (cont.)

• Online Anonymity and Conflict– Electronic media has created new

sources of unproductive conflict.• Flaming• Trolling• Cyberbullying

•Escapist strategies:– Try to prevent or avoid direct conflict– Used for various reasons,

such as personal safety, practicality, strategy

Strategies for Managing Conflict

•Challenging strategies:– Promote the objectives of

the individual who uses them (assertiveness)

– Get what you want without letting anxiety, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way

– Create a winner and a loser

Strategies for Managing Conflict (cont.)

•Cooperative strategies:– Focus on issues instead of verbal

aggressiveness– Debate and argue using probing

questions or playing devil’s advocate– Consider options and alternatives– Consider the importance of the

outcome– Reassure your partner

Strategies for Managing Conflict (cont.)

• Compromise– Both sides give up a little to get a

little– Can be arrived at through trading

or random selection– Has disadvantages for long-term

important relationships

Conflict Outcomes

• Win-Win– Both parties meet their

own goals.– Each party helps the

other party with his/her goals.

– The relationship is improved.

Conflict Outcomes (cont.)

• Lose-Lose– Neither party gets what he/she wants.

• Separation– Remove yourself from the situation to

end the conflict.

• Allocation of Power– Take responsibility for some decisions.

Conflict Outcomes (cont.)