22
1 Thank you to our Sponsors Jason Little Stop Trying to Change Me!!

Stop Trying to Change Me!!

Embed Size (px)

DESCRIPTION

People don't resist change, they resist being coerced. In this session I talked about how our brains are not our friends and that 'resistance' is the brain's response to a threat based on the SCARF model by David Rock

Citation preview

Page 1: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

1

Thank you to our Sponsors

Jason Little

Stop Trying to Change Me!!

Page 2: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

stop trying to change me!!

stop trying to change me!!

It’s impossibleIt’s impossibleIt’s impossibleIt’s impossible

that won’t work that won’t work herehere

that won’t work that won’t work herehere

I don’t have the I don’t have the authorityauthority

I don’t have the I don’t have the authorityauthority

This is This is stupidstupidThis is This is stupidstupid

we’re we’re doing finedoing fine

we’re we’re doing finedoing fine

my way isbetter

Page 3: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

what’s it like?what’s it like?

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Page 4: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

but what about?but what about?

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Page 5: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

why is that?why is that?

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Page 6: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

“auto-pilot”

Page 7: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

“thinking”

Page 8: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Page 9: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Page 10: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

time for fun!time for fun!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

1) Pair up with someone, ideally someone you don’t know2) One person is the coach3) The other person has a problem they want help with4) Coaches, use the cheat sheet provided

5 Min

Page 11: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

Coachees...Coachees...

@jasonlittle #sdec13

What was that like?

Page 12: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

Round 2Round 2

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Coaches, use the other questions on the cheat sheet

5 Min

Page 13: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

Coachees...Coachees...

@jasonlittle #sdec13

What was that like?

Page 14: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Threat to StatusThreat to Status

Page 15: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Threat to CertaintyThreat to Certainty

Page 16: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Threat to AutonomyThreat to Autonomy

Page 17: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Threat to RelatednessThreat to Relatedness

Page 18: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Threat to FairnessThreat to Fairness

Page 19: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

www.scarf360.com

Page 20: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Learn MoreLearn More

Page 21: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

@jasonlittle #sdec13

Thank You!Thank You!Remember, your brain is not your friend!

Page 22: Stop Trying to Change Me!!

THREATENING QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS:why did you do that?why did you think that would work?why didn’t you <do something else> instead?you should have done <this action> instead.you shouldn’t have done that.

BAD BEHAVIOUR TIPS- cut the other person off- shrug off what they say

- avoid eye contact

NON-THREATENING QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS:What have you tried so far?How important is solving this to you on a 1-10 scale?That sounds like a rough situation for you.What is it about this situation that bothers you the most?What would be the best outcome for you?Avoid questions that start with “why” or “you”

GOOD BEHAVIOUR TIPS- listen, don’t talk

- echo back what they say- make eye contact