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People don't resist change, they resist being coerced. In this session I talked about how our brains are not our friends and that 'resistance' is the brain's response to a threat based on the SCARF model by David Rock
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Jason Little
Stop Trying to Change Me!!
stop trying to change me!!
stop trying to change me!!
It’s impossibleIt’s impossibleIt’s impossibleIt’s impossible
that won’t work that won’t work herehere
that won’t work that won’t work herehere
I don’t have the I don’t have the authorityauthority
I don’t have the I don’t have the authorityauthority
This is This is stupidstupidThis is This is stupidstupid
we’re we’re doing finedoing fine
we’re we’re doing finedoing fine
my way isbetter
what’s it like?what’s it like?
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but what about?but what about?
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why is that?why is that?
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@jasonlittle #sdec13
“auto-pilot”
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“thinking”
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time for fun!time for fun!
@jasonlittle #sdec13
1) Pair up with someone, ideally someone you don’t know2) One person is the coach3) The other person has a problem they want help with4) Coaches, use the cheat sheet provided
5 Min
Coachees...Coachees...
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What was that like?
Round 2Round 2
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Coaches, use the other questions on the cheat sheet
5 Min
Coachees...Coachees...
@jasonlittle #sdec13
What was that like?
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Threat to StatusThreat to Status
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Threat to CertaintyThreat to Certainty
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Threat to AutonomyThreat to Autonomy
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Threat to RelatednessThreat to Relatedness
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Threat to FairnessThreat to Fairness
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Learn MoreLearn More
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Thank You!Thank You!Remember, your brain is not your friend!
THREATENING QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS:why did you do that?why did you think that would work?why didn’t you <do something else> instead?you should have done <this action> instead.you shouldn’t have done that.
BAD BEHAVIOUR TIPS- cut the other person off- shrug off what they say
- avoid eye contact
NON-THREATENING QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS:What have you tried so far?How important is solving this to you on a 1-10 scale?That sounds like a rough situation for you.What is it about this situation that bothers you the most?What would be the best outcome for you?Avoid questions that start with “why” or “you”
GOOD BEHAVIOUR TIPS- listen, don’t talk
- echo back what they say- make eye contact
