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Personality development
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The Fruits of a win-
win attitude
From a win-win attitude flows Christian virtues like:
CourageOpenness to correctionHonestyFairnessLovePatience and tolerance for peopleConsideration for others
Emphathy and compassion for others
Tactfulness and diplomacyResponsiveness and generosityTrust in othersRespect for feelings and human
dignityWill power and determination
Stephen Covey – emphasized that the exercise of these virtues must be well balance. For example: It is good to be courageous in taking risks but this should be balanced with consideration.
WIN-WIN, WIN-LOSE AND
LOSE-WIN
DEVELOPING AN I’M OK, YOU ARE
OK PROGRAM
2 Barriers in developing a win-win program with an I’m ok, you are ok script.
1.Mind Binders - Negative thoughts an distorted
paradigms. From sad and traumatic experiences. When he is deceived and hurt ba a loved one, he tends to think that many others are the same.
I’m Not Ok I’m Ok
2. Emotional Bondages -Which consists of negative emotions like self pity, depression, feelings of inferiority or superiority, anger and hatred towards other people, unforgiving attitude and resentment. Such feelings are conditioned by thoughts and perceptions.
You’re not OK You’re OK
Projecting others “YOU ARE OK”
-Making others feel good about themselves
Building the Goodwill of others starts with making them feel good about themselves, projecting to them, the message.”You are ok. You are important”. And when we make them feel ok, they are inclined to make them feel ok, they are inclined to make us also feel ok and to respond to us positively.
Positive stroke - This is manifested through actions which boost the ego of another person, making him feel valued and important. This can be expressed through:
Non-verbal languageVerbal expressions
estures
What positive strokes do you use?
Non-verbal strokes -Smile, eye contact, nod, signs of approval, OK sign using finger, clap or applause Pat at the back used by some Filipino managers, moving forward in an attempt to listen, shaking hands, undivided attention, immediate attention
Written- Written commendation, thank you notes, hello notes, greetings in a card, love notes, love letters, congratulatory notes and others.
Verbal strokes Words of praise
(That’s a fantastic idea”, “You did a very good job today”.
Word of gratitude (“Thank you for your patronage” , “Thank you for bearing with us”, “Thank you for coming to our hotel
Words of appreciation (“I really appreciate the efforts you have taken to help our company.” , “I’ll appreciate it very much if you can settle your account soonest.
Words of affirmation (You can make it.” , “You are indeed a man of fine taste”
Words of acknowledgementWords of agreementWords of empathy-feeling for a person
as if we are in his place
Words of admirationWords of sympathyExpressions of love and concernUse of Magic words
Gestures and Actions-Immediate attention, Consistent/undivided attention, leaving the work behind to concentrate one’s attention to somebody, extending a helping hand, taking time to listen and to empathized, any act of charity, checking customer satisfaction by soliciting feedback “Is everything alright?.”
Positive Bombardment
Exercise
The magic of Affirmations
My people are lazy and irresponsible (based perception)
I resent, dislike them (emotions)They deserve an iron hand (attitudes)
Subordinates get demoralized loss their sense of worth and live up to the impression of being lazy and irresponsible they slow down their output(effect on subordinates) Boss loss respect from them
brutally insults them, use negative statements, treats them with an “iron” hand.
Affirmation
Feelings & Attitude
Behavior
Response/Effect
Many people turned out to be poor performers because they receive messages through affirmations that they are really poor achievers.
Affirming people of their innate capabilities is one step towards helping them to succeed affirmations build confidence and confidence builds guts and determination to suceed.