Bobbe Sommer Ph.D. FABB POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Bobbe Sommer Ph.D.

FABB POSITIVE CONFLICT

RESOLUTION

2

Aware of one’s own existence, sensations, and thoughts and of one’s environment

Capable of thought, will, or perception Subjectively known or felt Deliberately conceived or done Having or showing self-consciousness

Let’s Get Conscious!

Conscious -

3

Key People Skills

Conflict Management

The Reptilian Brain is Always on the Prowl!

Defense!Defense!!

Defense!!!

4

Personality StylesEmotional Intelligence (E.Q.)

List your top 3 strengths that cause people to want to work with you:

How did you acquire these attributes?

5

Key People Skills

Conflict Management

Conflict is inevitable.

Whenever 2 people come together, the seeds of conflict have been sown.

Conflict can occur when people don’t even know each other.

6

Key People Skills

Conflict Management

Confront = Face-to-Face

Combat = With Arms

Confrontation is a Goooooood Thing!

Combativeness is a Baaaaaad Thing!

7

4 Guidelines for Positive Confrontation:

Key People Skills

Conflict Management

1) Acknowledge, don’t argue

2) Ask clarifying questions

3) Restate what you think you heard

4) Deflect the Red Herring by using a

Show Stopper response…

8

What is a Red Herring?

Statement designed to intentionally throw you off the track AND simultaneously infer that YOU probably have the problem after all!

I was only kidding!

Grrr...

9

Show Stopper Verbal Responses to Deflect the Red Herring

Excuse me?Where do we differ?That very well may be.Perhaps.That’s unfortunate.Great! Then I’ll count on you for that!Would 3 o’clock or 4:30 be a better time for

us to discuss this?

10

Show Stopper Action Responses to Deflect the Red Herring

Drop The Rope!

Let Your Ear Hear Your Mouth Self Correct!

11

Eight Steps Eight Steps

for for

Positive Positive Confrontation:Confrontation:

12

Step OneStep One

Is confrontation your Is confrontation your

BESTBEST option? option?

13

Step TwoStep Two

If so, where? If so, where? Choose an Choose an appropriate appropriate

location.location.

14

AlwaysAlways open with open with an “I” ownership an “I” ownership

statement.statement.

Step ThreeStep Three

15

State specific observed State specific observed behavior followed with behavior followed with supposition “…which supposition “…which leads me to believe…”leads me to believe…”

Step FourStep Four

16

Request specific Request specific behavior changes.behavior changes.

Step FiveStep Five

17

AlwaysAlways deflect, deflect, nevernever argue with argue with the the Red HerringRed Herring..

Step SixStep Six

18

Repeat step 5.Repeat step 5.

Step SevenStep Seven

19

Use the bridge Use the bridge builder term “…builder term “…

ANDAND, ….”, ….”

Step EightStep Eight