BULLYING Det. Andrew Palese Delaware State Police SRO

BULLYINBULLYINGG

Det. Andrew PaleseDet. Andrew Palese

Delaware State PoliceDelaware State Police

SROSRO

The Golden The Golden RuleRule

““Treat others the way you Treat others the way you

want to be treated”want to be treated”

VideoVideo

Bullying DefinitionBullying Definition

• Behavior that is intentional, hurtful Behavior that is intentional, hurtful and repeated by one or more and repeated by one or more persons. persons.

• Bullied students are teased, Bullied students are teased, harassed, and assaulted verbally or harassed, and assaulted verbally or physically. physically.

Did you know?Did you know?• The word “The word “BullyBully” use to mean ” use to mean

the total opposite of what it the total opposite of what it means now. means now.

• Five hundred years ago, it Five hundred years ago, it meant friend, family member meant friend, family member or sweetheart. or sweetheart.

Two Types of BullyingTwo Types of Bullying

•DirectDirect

•IndirectIndirect

DirectDirect• PhysicalPhysical – – hitting, kicking, hitting, kicking,

pushing, stealing, hiding or pushing, stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things.ruining someone’s things.

Making someone do Making someone do something they don’t want something they don’t want to do.to do.

• VerbalVerbal – – name calling, name calling, teasing, insulting, threats.teasing, insulting, threats.

IndirectIndirect•Relationship BullyingRelationship Bullying – –

gossiping, spreading gossiping, spreading rumors and lies about rumors and lies about someone. someone.

•Making someone feel left Making someone feel left out or rejected.out or rejected.

Bullying can be...Bullying can be...

•One person making fun of One person making fun of another.another.

•One person trying to beat One person trying to beat up another.up another.

•A group of people ganging A group of people ganging up against others.up against others.

Bullying – You Decide?Bullying – You Decide?

•Jennifer recently broke up Jennifer recently broke up with her boyfriend Andrew. with her boyfriend Andrew. Andrew is now dating Andrew is now dating Melissa. Jennifer convinces Melissa. Jennifer convinces all of her friends not to speak all of her friends not to speak or hang out with Melissa or hang out with Melissa anymore. Is this bullying?anymore. Is this bullying?

Bullying – You Bullying – You DecideDecide

•When John walks in the When John walks in the hallway to his class, hallway to his class, Chris repeatedly knocks Chris repeatedly knocks his books out of his hand his books out of his hand everyday. Is this everyday. Is this bullying?bullying?

How does it make you How does it make you feel?feel?

Kristina A CalcoKristina A Calco

CHO

Does it have to be a Does it have to be a part of growing up?part of growing up?

NoNo•Each and every person has the right to Each and every person has the right to

feel safe in school and in life.feel safe in school and in life.

Characteristics of a Characteristics of a BullyBully

• Excited by their bullying behaviorExcited by their bullying behavior• Enjoy feelings of power and controlEnjoy feelings of power and control• Enjoy causing painEnjoy causing pain• Can be a below average, average or Can be a below average, average or

above average studentabove average student• Lack compassion and empathy for Lack compassion and empathy for

their targetstheir targets• Can be all shapes and sizesCan be all shapes and sizes

Who is a Who is a Target?Target?

ReasonsReasons• Doesn’t fit inDoesn’t fit in• Physically weakPhysically weak• MinorityMinority• Facial appearanceFacial appearance• ClothingClothing• EmotionalEmotional• OverweightOverweight• Good gradesGood grades

ReasonsReasons• If you usually are alone and If you usually are alone and

don't have many friends.don't have many friends.

• If you don't have a lot of If you don't have a lot of confidence and don't stand up confidence and don't stand up for yourselffor yourself..

Ways to avoid future Ways to avoid future bullyingbullying

• Don’t bring expensive things or money to Don’t bring expensive things or money to schoolschool

• Hang out with friendsHang out with friends• Avoid unsupervised areasAvoid unsupervised areas• Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with Sit near the bus driver on the bus or walk with

a teacher to classa teacher to class• Don’t walk alone and avoid places where Don’t walk alone and avoid places where

bullying occursbullying occurs• Get funnyGet funny• Don’t act scaredDon’t act scared

““No one can make you feel inferior without No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. – Eleanor Rooseveltyour consent”. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Report, Report, Report, Report, ReportReport

•Report it to a trusted Report it to a trusted adult immediatelyadult immediately

•BE A HEROBE A HERO

BystandersBystanders

Part of the problem not the solution

Be a HeroBe a Hero• Encourage other bystanders to help

stop the bullying incident by being assertive.

• Make friends with someone who continually gets picked on.

• Report it or send someone to a trusted adult.

• You are a key player in stopping bullying.

Report vs TattlingReport vs Tattling

•Tattling – – Is trying to get Is trying to get someone in trouble.someone in trouble.

•Reporting – – When you report When you report bullying you are helping someone bullying you are helping someone else. else.

ReasonsReasons• The bully is someone others look The bully is someone others look

up to and want to hang out with.up to and want to hang out with.• They want to “side” with the They want to “side” with the

bully because it makes them feel bully because it makes them feel strong.strong.

• They’re entertained by the They’re entertained by the bullyingbullying..

ReasonsReasons•They don’t think They don’t think

speaking up will help.speaking up will help.•They’re afraid that if They’re afraid that if

they say something, the they say something, the bully will turn on thembully will turn on them..

Some things you can say if Some things you can say if someone is getting bullied.someone is getting bullied.

Ask Yourself These Ask Yourself These QuestionsQuestions

• Does it make you feel better to Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their hurt other people or take their things?things?

• Are you bigger and stronger Are you bigger and stronger than other people your age? than other people your age?

• Do you sometimes use your size Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way?and strength to get your way?

• Have you been bullied by Have you been bullied by someone in the past and feel like someone in the past and feel like you have to make up for doing you have to make up for doing the same thing to others?the same thing to others?

• Do you avoid thinking about how Do you avoid thinking about how other people might feel if you other people might feel if you say or do hurtful things to them?say or do hurtful things to them?

Ask Yourself These QuestionsAsk Yourself These Questions

If you are a bully, here If you are a bully, here are some ways to stopare some ways to stop

• Apologize to people that you have Apologize to people that you have bullied, and follow it up by being bullied, and follow it up by being friendly. friendly.

• They might not trust you right They might not trust you right away, but eventually they will see away, but eventually they will see that you have changed.that you have changed.

More ways toMore ways to

• If you are having a hard time feeling If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. (Sports)boost your self-esteem. (Sports)

• If you feel like you’re having trouble If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especially controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to a school counselor about it.anger, talk to a school counselor about it.

The Golden The Golden RuleRule

“ “Treat others the way Treat others the way you want to be you want to be

treated” treated”

VideoVideo

CreditsCredits

• PBSkids.orgPBSkids.org• Youtube.comYoutube.com• Stopbullyingnow.comStopbullyingnow.com• Jaredstory.comJaredstory.com