Charlie and Zack Chapter 1

Charlie & Zack

StarringCharlie

And Zack

Television Time

“And we’ll be right back after a word from our sponsor.”“It’s fudge in a bucket, fudge in a bucket! It so delicious and moist! Fudge in a bucket! Fudge in a bucket! Throw it where ever you want! It cleans up quick and leave a smell you won’t soon forget! Fudge in a bucket, it’s fudge in a bucket! And it can be yours for a low, low price of only $19.95! And if you call right now, we’ll send you another fudge in a bucket, just pay separate shipping and handling. Fudge in a bucket!”

“Can you believe these people? Fudge in a bucket? I don’t care if it is delicious and moist, it’s down right revolting what they think they can sell you nowadays. What would I do with an entire bucket of fudge anyway?”“I dunno. Do something with it. Maybe eat it?”“Gross!”

“Wait a second. Fudge… in a bucket… GROSS! That is the most disgusting, puke drenching thing I have ever heard of!”“Didn’t I just say that? And you wanted me to eat it!”“No I didn’t. I was thinking it was real fudge deliciousness… of fudge.”“And I bet you thought the donuts from the other commercial were real donuts. Get real man!”

“You’ve made your point. Now stop making kissy faces with me and watch the programming.”“Hell no. I’ll do what I want. Now about the game. Are we gonna place bets or what?”“Bet? No sir, I’m not a betting man.”

“Why, if I had a dollar for every bet I didn’t go in, I’d be a rich sim. You know that?”“Yea yea… You’re just being chicken is all.”“No I’m not. I’d rather not spend my money on such ridiculous manners as this.”“Whatever.”

“Anyway, who do you think is gonna win anyway? The bombastic engineers? Or the true blue bigaloojoos?”“Calm down, I’m still calculating it in my mind.”“But you wanted to bet.”“Yea, well I’m still thinking. Just because I want to bet doesn’t mean I’ve made up my mind just yet on who will win. Now hush. Trying to watch this next commercial.”

“Ch-ch-ch-chia!”“Clap on, clap off. It’s the clapper!”“Coming soon to a theatre near you!”“The finale of That Show comes on this Friday at 8/7c.”“Check out the TV Hat!”

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”“A TV Hat?”“That’s right.”“I certainly am. Oh my god. What will they think of next?”“If I had one of those, you have any idea what I’d do with it?”“No. What?”

“Well for one, I’d probably not watch this TV ever again. I mean, with a hat TV why would I need a regular TV ever again? I can watch whatever I want to watch and let you watch whatever you want to watch and we’d both be happy. Plus, I’d be able to watch whatever I want to watch that I’d rather not let you in on the know of.”“Oh really? What kind of stuff?”

“Listen, pal, we may be roomies, but that doesn’t mean we need to share everything. And there is no way in hell am I telling you anything that is my personal business. Like the kind of shows that I want to watch that I don’t care to let you in on.”

“Come on, you can tell me.”“No!”“I watch Being Human.“So?”“I watch uh… The Event. And Justified. And That Thing She Does.”“So?”“So tell me what you watch.”

“I told you: hell to the no!”“Fine, be that way. I’ll sneak in the apartment one day and catch you in the middle of one of your programs.”“Don’t think so. Now that I know you’ll be doing that, I’ll just buy me a TV hat or something and watch it in the privacy of my own private place.”“That made no sense what-so-ever.”

“Why are you making the kiss-y face again?”“Because I can. And I’m thinking of a very pretty woman.”“Keep that stuff to yourself. You have a room you know.”“Yea, well the walls are pretty thin and your late night gaming proves to be quite a distraction.”“Well it’s not my fault… wait a second! My room is on the other side of the hall from yours!”

“Alright, fine, I come clean. You still shouldn’t be shouting in triumph at 3 in the morning though.”“I’ll have you know that it took an entire hour to down one boss! ONE BOSS!”“Whatever.”

“Bah, will these commercials ever end? I wanna get back to the game already!”

“Speaking of which, have you made up your mind on which team you think will win?”“Not yet. I’m waiting til half time.”“But there’s no such thing!”“Yes there is!”“Make up your mind now.”

“Look, I’ll make up my mind whenever I damn well please. So leave me alone already. Alright? Sheesh!”

“I’m just messing with you. What, can’t tease my roommate every once and a while? Chill out.”

“Besides, it’s not like we’re betting on it. I’m not the betting type. So who will it be? Engineers or… uh… the other team?”

“Alright fine. The engineers will win. Happy now?”“Most certainly.”“Good. Now let’s watch the game.”

“Helps if we have it on the right channel.”“Wait, what?”“Ah ha! I knew I was fast! You blinked and I changed the channel to another one… where all the commercials last for a long time. Ha ha, aren’t I a sly one?”“Whatever.”

“Oh right! They just started to play. Wait, where you going?”“To take a bath. I haven’t bathed all day.”“Thank you so much for sharing that information.”“You’re welcome.”

“Just keep me posted on anything important that happens. Ok?”“Yea, yea, I’ll do that. And have the neighbor banging on our door.”“I don’t care if Shelby knocks our door down. She can shove it. We have to deal with her crap everyday of the week. One night of sports ain’t gonna compare.”“She knows the landlady.”“And I know the mayor.”

“Whoo hoo! Go Engineers! Kick that other teams butt!”

“Yea! Go go go! Whoo yea! Teach’em what for.”

“So what’s going on?! I don’t hear nothin but whoopin and hollerin!”

“Oh. Sorry bout that! The Engineers just threw the ball down 20 meters. And then the other team sacked the lead thrower. Next thing you know, the referee is calling a fowl, and the mascots are killing each other.”

“Sounds good. What else?!”

“Oh my god… I don’t dare… cripes! I can’t believe they would allow that on the field.”

“Come on man, you can do it! You can throw that ball all the way to the end of the field! YOU CAN DO IT!!!”

“What’s going on!? I don’t hear you!”

“Uh… um… Well you know the lead thrower on the Engineers?”“Yea!”“Well… um… you really don’t want to-”

“Oh no! This can’t be happening! IT CAN’T BE TRUE!!!!”

“Oh god in heaven, why did they have to call a penalty on the best player on this god given planet! This is horrible! This is a tragedy! This is not right!”

“I mean, he was there. Right there ready to throw the ball and the other team just had to… Oh GOD! DAMNIT!”

“I can’t watch anymore… It’s horrible and tragic.”

“Hey roomie! What’s going on?! I don’t hear you!”

“I guess I’ll have to keep watching… it’s good for the rest of the team. They do have other throwers. Yea. That’s it. Just cheer on the other throwers.”

“Come on other throwers! Toss that ball! Get it into the end of the field!”

“Go go go! You guys can do it! You’re the best! Go for it! Give it all you got!”

“So, what happened?”“Nothing, cut to commercial a minute ago.”“Ok, guess I’ll start making us something to eat.”“Yea you do that.”