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I N S I D E T H I S
I S S U E :
Conflict
Resolution
2
Oral Health
Week of the
Young Child
3
Legislative
Breakfast
4
Fundraiser 5
Pancakes for
Parkinson
6
Camp Erin 7
Event Dates 8
Dates to
Remember
March
17th. St. Patrick’s Day
April
14th—18th. Spring
Break. Center closed.
MILFORD FAMILY RESOURCE CENTER
Judy Lobdell, Editor March 2014
Milford Family Resource Center
Staff:
Program Manager:
Peggy Kelly
Parent Educators:
Kathy Aspinwall
Judy Lobdell
Anne Mundy
The Milford Family
Resource Center
@Mathewson School
466 West River Street
Milford, CT 06461
(203)783-3626
mfrc@milforded.org
Peace begins within the individual. As parents and teachers, we are responsible for helping
those individuals in our care to develop strategies and skills that support understanding and
effective communication. So how do we promote these skills in young children?
Betsey Evans, author of “You Can’t Come to My Birthday”, feels that conflicts are “absolutely
normal, healthy good stuff,” She also feels even the youngest of toddlers can learn to negotiate
and problem solve for themselves and others.* While toddlers may have their own set of
‘property laws’ (see January newsletter 2014 at milforded.org), they are capable of learning to
navigate their way through a process that ultimately helps them to peacefully resolve conflicts.
Giving young children this important task fosters responsible interaction with the adults and
peers in their lives.
Evans, through her writings and nursery school, The Giving Tree, has
many stories to relate that demonstrate how children develop these
skills. One such example involves an 18 month old toddler who began
crying when his mother went to the closet to get a stroller so they
could walk to the store.
“No! No stroller!” the boy cried to her. She calmly leaned over and
consoled her son. “You’re so upset. You really don’t want to go in the
stroller, do you?”
As he began calming down, the mother – who’d been trained in mediation – told her son, “You
know, Tom, I think we have a problem. I can’t carry you to the store, and it’s too far for you to
walk. What do you think we should do?”
When he did not respond, she offered, “I have an idea. Do you want to hear it? You can get in
the stroller yourself or I can put you in. Which do you want?”
“Me do it,” Tom answered. Evans explains, “If we can give children choices, it helps them to be
a participant in the process.” In another incident this same mother had a similar experience with
her younger 16-month-old son. As she was about to negotiate with her son, she heard his now 3-
year-old brother say, “Jack, we have a problem. Mommy can’t carry you all the way. Do you
want Mommy to put you in the stroller, or do you want to get in the stroller yourself?” He then
hopped in the stroller.*
Obviously not all situations may run this smoothly, but it is interesting to note that the parent
remained calm, gave the child a choice and most likely had a plan B that involved a rational con-
sequence. And, eventually, this process would become a more attractive option. Evans outlines a
simple four step process (see insert p.2) in her book that teachers, parents, and children learn and
use at the NAEYC accredited, The Giving Tree nursery school. Evans states:
Conflict Resolution For Young Children
“[Participants become] familiar with the problem-solving dialogue and [have] many varied experi-
ences with conflicts and solutions. Over time the children ... come to trust the process. Children
quickly learn that feelings and ideas are respected during problem solving, and soon their emotions
no longer escalate to an intense level during conflicts. Consequently the job of mediation becomes
less difficult. The job of mediator [is] a natural progression; they... become experts at coming up
with solutions, and now, independently, they become experts at guiding their peers as they [create]
solutions to everyday problems.”*
In her article “What Is Peace”, Evans enlarges the picture when she relates a discussion she had during
snack time with several preschoolers . The topic had turned to defining what war means. The children’s
responses included, “It’s when people kill each other.” “It’s a lot of fighting.” “It’s people shooting.”
“People get dead in war.” Wanting to see if they had a clear understanding of what peace meant, Evans
asked, “So what is peace?” “Their answers came slowly, thoughtfully, their inspiration extending from
one boy to the next, as their ideas became a spontaneous poem.”* (See below)
*excerpts from http://www.kidsandconflict.com
Ultimately, teaching these skills to young children leads to peaceful
resolutions in everyday conflicts that can expand as our children grow
and move into the world to take their place as adults.
For further reading on this topic, see
A. Faber & E. Mazlish. “Siblings Without Rivalry”
F. Cline & J. Fey. “Parenting With Love and Logic:”
Website: http://www.kidsandconflict.com/
Peace is not shooting.
Is quiet.
Is not killing anything.
Is not throwing litter.
Peace is eating healthy stuff.
Is being silly.
Is not breaking glass.
Is not walking in the house with muddy boots.
Peace is not stealing money.
Is not pulling somebody’s hair out.
Is giving someone a present.
Is giving someone something to eat if they are homeless.
Is playing peaceful and sharing toys and something real tasty.
Peace is playing outside together.*
Poem created by preschool boys at The Giving Tree nursery school
A young participant
demonstrates the proper
way to brush.
Debbie Britz and Elaine Colangelo, Dental
Hygienists for the Milford Public Schools
brought 2 puppet friends for an informative
talk on dental care for young children. Dr. Paula
Cerqueira –Putnam, a pediatric dentist and
Milford Family Resource Center playgroup
participant with her son, was also on hand to
answer parents questions.
Early Learning for Oral Health Care
Celebrate the Week of the Young Child
April 6th—12th
Look for Kids Count Flags on the Milford Green during
the month of April
Harborlight Happening
Harborlight Happening is scheduled for Thursday, May 29 at the Milford Yacht Club.
Christine Kennedy and Andrea Giannattasio, co chairpersons of this annual event, as well as the
Harborlight Happening committee are looking forward, once again, to a successful and fun evening.
Harborlight Happening is Kids Count’s only fundraiser. Proceeds help to underwrite preschool
scholarships for children who attend private Milford preschools.
Dinner, silent and live auctions, the rose game, the unlock your luck game will be enhanced
by sharing an evening with friends and family.
So save the date: Thursday, May 29 from 6:00 to 9:30 pm
For more information, contact Peggy Kelly at pkelly@milforded.org
Kids Count of Milford Peggy Kelly, Executive Director March, 2014
Governor Dannel Malloy Announces Plan for 1020 New Preschool Slots for 2014
Governor Malloy has announced that he has proposed to the legislature funding for additional preschool slots
that will be administered by the State Department of Education School Readiness Program. Therefore, programs
in Milford and surrounding communities who are eligible may apply to the Milford School Readiness Council.
Criteria includes:
Accreditation—All programs must be accredited by the National Association for the Education of Young
Children or become accredited within (3) years of the month this site began serving children.
Teacher Education Requirement— Any program accepting state funds from the School Readiness Grant
must have lead teaching staff who hold a bachelors degree with an early childhood concentration.
License—Each program site must hold a current license from the Department of Public Health.
Programs requesting consideration by the Milford School Readiness Council are encouraged to contact
Peggy Kelly at 203-783-3627 or pkelly@milforded.org no later than March 28.
Kids Count of Milford Preschool Scholarships
Preschool Scholarships are available for Milford residents who will be enrolling their children into the
Milford private preschools in September 2014.
Please contact Peggy Kelly at 203-783-3627 for an application.
Kids Count of Milford invites you to attend
Annual Legislative Breakfast
Milford Yacht Club
Thursday, April 10, 2014
8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m.
Special Guests: Mrs. Susan Strelez and her Third Grade Class
Pumpkin Delight School
Champion of Young Children Award Recipients:
Terry Fonseca, Kingdom Life Church Resource Center
Wepawaug Valley District Boy Scouts of Milford
Milford Salvation Army Service Unit
Acknowledgement of High School Students
Milford Legislators:
Senator Gayle Slossberg
Representative Paul Davis
Representative Kim Rose
Representative James Maroney
sponsored by:
Kids Count of Milford, United Way of Milford, and the
William Caspar Graustein Memorial Fund
$10.00 per person – mail checks to:
Kids Count of Milford
167 Cherry Street #169Milford, Connecticut 06460
You may also pay at the door.
Camp Erin Connecticut
The Cove Center for Grieving Children, a non-profit grief and healing organiza-
tion dedicated to helping children and families who have experienced the death of
a loved one, has partnered with The Moyer Foundation, to facilitate Camp Erin
Connecticut.
Camp Erin® is a FREE, weekend long grief support camp to be held on June 6-8,
2014. The camp is designed to help children and teenagers ages 6-17, who have
experienced the death of a parent, sibling or someone close to them. Camp Erin
Connecticut is open to all grieving children statewide.
JOIN US FOR OUR PARENT/CAREGIVER INFO NIGHT
Hosted by Pam Tobin-Sachs, Director of Camp Erin Connecticut
Pam will provide an overview of the camp experience and answer your questions about the camp
weekend.
Saturday, March 8 3:00-5:00pm Guilford Public Library
67 Park Street, Guilford CT
Saturday, March 22 4:15-6:00pm Edith Wheeler Memorial Library
733 Monroe Turnpike, Monroe CT
ENROLL A CAMPER
Camp Erin is FREE to all campers. Registrations are being accepted on a first-come first-serve
basis. Space is filling quickly. To enroll, contact Yannah Preta, Camp Coordinator.
Camp Erin combines traditional, fun camp activities with grief education and emotional support, facilitated by grief
professionals and trained volunteers. Through interactions with other children and with adults, campers learn that they
are not alone in their grief. Camp Erin provides a relaxed, safe and supportive setting for children to express emotions,
share their grief and learn positive coping skills. The Cove Center for Grieving Children will also provide families
with long-term support at our family sites.
The Moyer Foundation is a public, 501(c)(3) non-profit organization with a mission to provide comfort, hope and
healing to children affected by loss and family addiction. Camp Erin® is the nation's largest network of free bereave-
ment camps for grieving children and teens ages 6 - 17. For more information on The Moyer Foundation and its pro-
grams, please visit www.moyerfoundation.org.
To RSVP and for directions, please contact Yannah Preta, Camp Coordinator,
by phone at 203.634.0500 x15 or by e-mail at yannah@covect.org. Information is also available at www.covect.org.
Imagine you are six years old, with two younger brothers, and you have been diagnosed with leuke-
mia. Mom and Dad explain that, after chemotherapy and radiation, you’ll be fine. But you’re one
of the few who doesn’t get better, and so the chemotherapy and radiation go on – for seven years.
Finally you’re in remission. Then the leukemia comes back. You get more chemotherapy and go
into remission again. Now you need a bone marrow transplant. A donor is found and you are
scheduled for a transplant at Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, Massachusetts - if you can get
strong enough to withstand the surgery.
This has been life for thirteen year old Dylan and his family. They have bravely met all these chal-
lenges and setbacks with faith and hope for a full recovery. However, the fight for Dylan’s life has
been exacerbated by loss of employment, which has caused great financial stress.
Plans are being made by friends of the family from St. Mary Church for a family day on June 7 to
raise funds to help the Fortunato family.
The event will be open to the entire Milford Community and all funds raised will go to the Dylan A.
Fortunato Medical Expenses Fund.
If you would like to make a donation, you may send a check made out to the Dylan A. Fortunato
Medical Fund to Joe Wolf at 190 Fresh Meadow Lane, Milford 06461.
Remember to come to Family Day, June 7 at St. Mary Parish Hall
It will be fun!
Committee Members
Joan Wolf, Joe Wolf, Diane Candido, Tony Candido, Deacon John Hoffman
Top of the Morning’ to you!
You are invited to join with Kids Count,
The Milford Family Resource Center,
and the School Readiness Program to march
in the St. Patrick’s Day Parade on Saturday,
March 15 at
12:30 pm Wasson Field.
Join with other groups supporting the
United Way of Milford.
Please RSVP to Peggy Kelly at pkelly@milforded.org
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