Empathy: Why it Matters and How to grow it...Empathy: Why it Matters and How to grow it Dr. Tonya...

Webinar: Empathy: Why it Matters and

How to Grow ItApril 15, 2020

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Empathy:Why it Matters andHow to grow it

Dr. Tonya FeatherstonCenter for Social Emotional Wellness

SympathyFeeling sorrow or pitty for someone or their situation.✔Creates disconnection✔Lacks emotional connection

Sympathy vs. Empathy

EmpathyThe art of stepping into the shoes of another person and seeing the world through their eyes.✔Fosters a deep connection✔Detects the emotions of others

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Empathy vs Sympathy Video Short

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Non-Empathetic Responses✔Ooh that’s really bad…I’m sorry✔I’m sorry…here’s some money✔At least you know you can get

pregnant✔At least you have a job✔At least one of your kids has

good behavior

It’s all about how you respond

Empathetic Responses✔I understand how you feel, I’ve

been there myself.✔I don’t even know what to

say…but I’m here for you.✔I understand how you feel, I had

a similar situation. I can share what worked for me, if you want.

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Practicing empathy on social media

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“Empathy is…

Seeing with the eyes of anotherListening with the ears of another

Feeling with the heart of another

Alfred Adler

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Six Habits of Highly Emapthetic People

#1 Fully Present with OthersThey make you feel like you’re the only one in the room. They give their full attention. Put the cell phone down and be fully present.

#2 Mastered Listening vs. FixingThey ask a person how they are doing and then really listen to what the person says. They listen to develop an understanding. They don’t listen to respond or to fix the person’s problem.

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Six Habits of Highly Emapthetic People

#3 Tune in to Non-verbal CommunicationThey listen with all of their senses. They pay attention to body language, facial expressions, demeanor and language. They seek to understand all of what the person is saying as well as feeling.

#4 They Practice PausingThey don’t jump in to finish people’s sentences, interrupt or offer advice. They understand how powerful silence can be, and they are comfortable with silence. They pause before speaking, responding or taking action.

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Six Habits of Highly Emapthetic People

#5 Switched from Judgment to CuriosityInstead of offering their opinion or advice, they ask questions to better understand the person’s perspective. They are curious. They don’t ask why, they ask:How do you feel?Can you tell me more?What would be helpful?

#6 They Imagine others Point of ViewThey imagine what it must be like to be in this situation. They tap into their own experiences to remember how they felt when this happened to them, or they think about how they might feel or respond if this ever happens to them.

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Barriers to Being Empathetic

✔Cultural differences✔Gender✔Not viewing the other person as an equal✔Your preconceived ideas and beliefs✔Your discomfort with other people’s emotions

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Adult Practices to Improve your Empathy

1. Expand your emotional vocabulary2. Come out of your bubble – Try on someone else’s life3. Fill your own cup (emotional reserves) first4. Advocate for things to help others even if they don’t directly

affect you.5. Practice communicating with care (social media is a great place

to start)

✔Don’t instruct children to say sorry✔Help children name their emotions✔Ask them to consider how they think another person is feeling✔Diversify their media intake – books, tv, movies, magazines✔Teach them to fight stereotypes✔Use children’s books and stories to help model empathy

Helping Children Learn Empathy

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“I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, fade it, or fix it.” – The Invitation

Resources from Center for Social Emotional Wellness✔Well Space App – www.myteacherwellness.com✔30 Days of Calm Wellness Challenge –

http://calm.myteacherwellness.com/30-days-of-calm✔Teacher Wellness Facebook Group –

https://www.facebook.com/groups/myteacherwellness/✔Teacher Wellness Happy Hour – every Thursday at 5:00pm via Zoom✔Find your Empathy Quotient -https://psychology-

tools.com/test/empathy-quotient 18

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Thanks!Any questions? You can contact Dr. Featherston at drtonya@centerforsew.com or 443-768-4108

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