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“Fusion Star Trek — To Boldly Go for Ignition(Tentatively)”
A Play in Four Acts (if you can call it acting) and used to engenderconsensus at Snowmass, July 1999 (Well, perhaps not…..)
Narrator Fusion, the final frontier! These are the voyages of the starship
Compromise . Its five-year mission, to seek out new worlds and
civilizations – especially those strange galaxies at the extremes of
the universe, in the forlorn attempt to find someone that has
discovered how to make fusion actually work. To boldly go in
fusion where no plasma physicist has boldly gone before, er …..
tentatively?
2
Scene 1. StarFleet Federation Headquarters
[Dramatis personae Scene 1: Narrator, Anne Davies, Ronald Blanken, Mike Roberts ,
two OFES staff members, Captain James T. Goldston]
Narrator The year is Stardate 2999. Intergalactic space travel via warp-drive
has now been in use for the past 500 years. Matter transfer via
transporters is routine. And fusion is now only 30 years away!
But, to be fair, the Federation fusion program has been dealing with
a much more important problem than fusion energy for the past
1000 years, – How to keep working secretly on ITER without being
found out by Congress!
So, the year is 2999. Let me take you now to the StarFleet Fusion
Command Headquarters. Now, because of the threat from attack
from alien civilizations, the Federation Headquarters is housed in a
dark, gloomy, labyrinthine systems of underground tunnels that go
on forever and where daylight has never penetrated.
Voice You must mean DOE Germantown!
Narrator Precisely! Anyway, in the center of this underground netherworld,
the head of StarFleet’s Fusion Program, Admiral Anne Davies, is
chairing her Monday morning staff meeting……
(All except Davies and Narrator are asleep, snoring loudly)
Davies Okay you lot, wake up, wake up!
(All wake up with a start),
OFES staff 1 What? What? Time to go home already? I’ve only just dropped off!
3
Davies Come on you lot. Wake up! It’s time to go through the proposals
for this year’s ICC competition.
OFES staff 1 ICC?
Davies Yes – “Innovative Confinement Concepts”. We have reviewed all
the proposals and now we have to decide who has won.
OFES staff 2 But doesn’t Princeton always win?
Davies Yes, yes of course they always win. But they always submit a blank
form and we have to fill it in for them, (Turns to Blanken), Okay Ron
Blanken, which Princeton proposal, -- whoops! I mean, which
fusion community proposal has won this year?
Blanken (Looks apprehensive) Well Admiral Davies….. I’m afraid the winners
aren’t from Princeton this year
Davies What?
Blanken Yes, we’ve had two real proposals this year that look like they may
actually work!
Davies What! Oh, very well, let’s hear them
Blanken The first one is from Charlie Baker’s group at UCSD, It’s a cloaking
device.
Roberts A cloaking device?
Blanken Yes, it would enable us to keep working on ITER without being
detected by Congress!
4
Davies (Face lights up) Aha! I like it. And the second proposal?
Blanken The second proposal is from MIT. It’s a time machine.
OFES staff 1 A time machine?
Roberts What’s a time machine got to do with fusion?
Blanken We’ll first of all, its much easier to build than a fusion reactor.
Davies Yes, everyone knows that. And so?
Blanken Well according to the proposal, MIT’s historical research has shown
that in the year 1999, fusion was only 50 years away.
Davies Yes, and so?
Blanken And they discovered that back in 1980, fusion was only 30 years
away.
Davies Yes, yes and so?
Blanken And in 1960, fusion was only 15 years away. So MIT has realized if
they plotted this data and backwards-extrapolated it, we must have
had fusion in the year 1952! They’re proposing to use the time
machine to go back to 1952 to find it!
(pause)
(looks to Marshall R in the audience.) And Marshall can confirm that it
was true!
Davies Wonderful! How much is the time machine?
Blanken (Scanning proposal) Er….. twenty-three-dollars and fifteen cents
5
OFES staff 2 (Looks puzzled) That’s very cheap for a time machine.
Blanken (Still reading proposal). Yes, but they’re having the Italians build it
for them. That’s why its so cheap. It would be 3-trillion-dollars
under DOE costing rules
Davies Well that’s settled then. We’ll fund both the cloaking device and the
time machine.
OFES staff 2 But, of course, we’ll build them both at Princeton?
Davies Of course!
OFES staff 1 (Dramatically) Admiral Davies! Captain James T. Goldston is
without.
Davies Without what?
OFES staff 1 No, I mean he is outside. You asked him to report to StarFleet HQ,
remember?
Davies (Furrows brow) Yes, so I did. And on a very important mission
indeed. Have him come in.
Narrator And so, into this saga strides our fearless, gallant, Starfleet captain,
Captain James T. Goldston of the Starship Compromise(Goldston
strides in).
Davies Ah, Captain Goldston. There you are. (looks closely at Goldston) Tell
me, why do you look so sad?
6
Goldston It’s terrible! I’ve just found out that my wife has run off with a
tractor salesman.
OFES staff 2 A tractor salesman? How do you know he sells tractors?
Goldston Because she sent me (slowly) a John… Deere ….Letter!
(Pause for audience groans)
Davies Captain Goldston where is you assistant Dale Meade?
Goldston I’m afraid he’s under arrest for arson . He was caught trying to start
a fire! He’s been banished to MIT where he is working as Bruno
Coppi's helper on the IGNORATOR project.
Davies Now Captain Goldston – I have a very distasteful mission for you
to perform
Goldston (grimaces) You mean — you want Princeton to take over the
research in Magnetized Target Fusion ?
Davies No, even worse than that! (Then, behind her hand) [ Although you
can do that too if you want to!] No, I have the most important task
you will ever have to perform…… (pauses and sighs) . I need you to
undertake a task so dangerous, so hazardous, so perilous, that even
your very budget may be in jeopardy
Goldston Gosh! What do I have to do?
Davies I need you to take the Starship Compromise and make an alliance
with the Klingon Empire!
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Goldston (Recoils theatrically) Make an alliance with the Klingon Empire! Not
the Inertial Fusion Energy Program and its darstardly leader, Darth
Campbell?
Davies Yes! The IFE Program and Darth Campbell
All (All gasp, looked shocked) The IFE program! Darth Campbell!
Narrator At this terrible news, Captain Goldston tore his hair…. Then he
stamped on his rabbit
Goldston Very well, If I must then…. (pauses)…….No wait! I have a solution
to our predicament. Something that will make it unnecessary to
form an alliance with the IFE Klingons!
Davies (Face lights up) You have? You have? What can it possibly be?
(All look ecstatic)
Goldston (dramatically, building to a crescendo) Yes! I have some very exciting
news for you all! At Princeton we’ve discovered a new fusion
concept. A brand new initiative! Something that will solve all the
problems that the tokamak has brought upon us. Something that
will inject new lifeblood into the fusion program. Something that
will make electricity too cheap to meter!
Davies Wonderful! Wonderful! What is it? (Looks stern, wags finger) It had
better not be a stellarator!
Goldston Don’t worry Admiral Davies – All you have to do is give Princeton
a large funding increase to build a large WASTE.
Davies ( looks puzzled) A WASTE?
8
Goldston Yes a WASTE, a wall stabilized toroidal experiment
Davies (still looking puzzled) Ah yes! Based on what concept?
Goldston The quasi spherical tandem mirror machine
Davies I thought you were considering a quasi spherical RFP
Goldston We were and we reviewed some early experiments. But when we
compared some of the later beta data from Zeta with the beta data
from eta-beta, Prager convinced us that the experiment was best
carried out at University of Wisconsin
Davies (thinks then shakes her head) No -- my mind is made up. You will
take the Starship Compromise to Livermore and you will make an
alliance with the Klingon IFE Empire.
Goldston Livermore? Great! (smiles at audience) We had enough gags at
Princeton’s expense. Now it’s time to beat up on Livermore!
OFES staff 2 There’s still a problem Admiral Davies. Even if we make this
alliance, it’s not clear that either MFE or IFE will actually work. We
need a fusion concept that will actually work
Davies Hmm – you’re right (thinks for a moment). I know! Captain Goldston
– on your way to Livermore, I want you to stop off in Victorian
London and consult with Sherlock Holmes, the great detective. He
knows the answer to everything. Ask him about fusion and how to
make it work.
OFE staff 1 Sherlock Holmes? But this is the year 2999 and he lived in 1899 .
9
Davies No problem. We’ll use MIT’s ICC proposal for the time machine.
Then you can go back in time and visit Sherlock Holmes on the
way to Livermore ( conspiratorial aside to Goldston) And of course,
you can build the time machine at Princeton!
Goldston (plaintively) Hey! I thought we were going to pick on Livermore
from now on!
Blanken (scrutinizing time machine proposal). But there’s a problem, Admiral
Davies. According to the MIT proposal, the time machine appears
to get its power from a nuclear weapon. It needs a hydrogen bomb
as its energy source.
Davies A hydrogen bomb? (looks dismayed) But the fusion program is an
unclassified program. And we don’t have security clearances. So
where can we get the plans for a nuclear weapon without security
clearances? (Pauses and thinks. All OFES look puzzled and appear to be
thinking)
Ah I know! All you have to do is open up the Los Alamos home
page and click on “top secrets”
And so Captain Goldston, I need you to (dramatically, pauses for
effect) …. to boldly go where no man has gone before!
Roberts (interrupts) Excuse me , you can’t say that
Davies Ah, Mike Roberts, our departmental lawyer. What’s the problem?
Roberts You can’t say “To Boldly Go”.
Davies Why not?
Roberts It’s a split infinitive. You must say “To go Boldly”
10
Davies Oh dear! (pauses and thinks) To go boldly? To boldly go? To go
boldly? To boldly go?….hmmm….I can’t decide which one to use.
(turns to others) So loyal OFES staff -- what do we always do in the
office when we can’t decide what to do?
(All smile and nod knowingly)
Davies Right! We’ll ask John Sheffield to commission a FESAC panel!
* * * * *
11
Scene 2 221B Baker Street – Sherlock Holmes’ Flat
[Dramatis personae Scene 2: Narrator, Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson, housekeeper,
Captain James T. Goldston]
Narrator Having managed to easily procure the design of the W-88 warhead
from Los Alamos, Princeton get the job (of course) of building the
time machine and were able to transport the Starship Compromise
back to the past.
And so, we find ourselves in Victorian London in 1899. Fusion is
just 53 years away (1952 remember!). The scene is 221B Baker St
and we find the great detective, Sherlock Holmes, peering through
the window into the street below. His companion, Dr Watson, is
hard at work on the Times crossword puzzle.
Holmes Watson! I say Watson, a starship from the future has just landed in
the street!
Watson (irritably) Don’t bother me now Holmes, I’m trying to do this
damned crossword puzzle.
Holmes A crossword puzzle? It’s elementary my dear Watson. It’s all
elementary.
Watson Elementary? The Times crossword? How can you say that?
Holmes The answers to all crossword puzzles are elementary my dear
Watson. I’ll show you. Just give me the clues.
12
Watson Very well, Holmes. Try this one, Fifteen Down “The school you
attend from grades one through seven, before going to junior high”
Ten letters
Holmes Elementary, my dear Watson!
Watson Elementary! Of course! …..Okay, try this one. Ten across “A
medical term pertaining to the digestive system and gut.” Ten
letters.
Holmes Alimentary , my dear Watson!
Watson Alimentary! Of Course! Right! Try this one, twenty-one down “A
type of citrus tree bearing bitter yellow fruit” Three words.
Holmes A lemon tree , my dear Watson!
Housekeeper (High pitched Cockney accent) Excuse me Mr ‘Olmes, a Captain
James T Goldston from the Starship Compromise is without.
Holmes Without what, Mrs Hudson?
Housekeeper No I mean he’s here to consult with you. I’ll show him in.
Narrator And so, in strode our gallant Captain Goldston. He found Sherlock
Holmes sitting in the fireplace.
Goldston I see you’re sitting in the fireplace. No wonder you are known as
the grate detective (pause for groans) I am from the future from the
year 2999
Holmes Aha! And have you discovered the secret of fusion?
13
Goldston No. But we’re only 30 years away. And now, Mr Holmes, we need
your help. We need to know how to save the fusion program
Holmes Save the fusion program? Captain Goldston, the answer is
elementary. You must convert the fusion program from an energy
program to an art program
Goldston Art program? You mean a science program!
Holmes No, I mean an art program
Goldston (Suspiciously) What kind of art program?
Holmes Still life!
Watson My God Holmes! You mean there’s still life in the fusion program?
Goldston An art program eh? (pauses and considers, then brightens) All right
then. As long as Princeton gets to paint all the pictures!
* * * * *
14
Scene 3 The Bridge of the Starship Compromise
[Dramatis personae Scene 3: Narrator, Goldston, Spock, McCoy,
Scotty, Lt. Ahura]
Narrator Aboard the bridge of the Starship Compromise on route to the
FESAC Meeting at Livermore.
Stardate 2999.10. Captain Goldston is writing in his log.
McCoy Writing in his log? Why isn’t he writing in his cabin?
Narrator He is. It’s a log cabin . Before setting out, the crew had breakfasted
on a diet of radishes, curry, chili and baked beans, and so the
Starship Compromise set sail with a fair wind behind it. Suddenly
the communications Officer, the beautiful Lieutenant Ahura,
receives a message.
Ahura Captain Goldston! We’ve received a sub-space message from
General Atomics down in San Diego. They have wonderful news!
Goldston Read it out to us
Ahura General Atomics have found a cure for tokamak disruptions.
McCoy They’ve cured tokamak disruptions? Wonderful! How?
Ahura (reading message) They’ve discovered they can stiffen the magnetic
field lines in DIII-D
Goldston Stiffen the field lines? How?
Ahura By injecting pellets
15
McCoy Pellets of what?
Ahura Viagra!
(pause for groans)
Spock Viagra! Wonderful! So the tokamak program has been saved?
Ahura Unfortunately not. It says here that thieves have stolen their whole
supply of Viagra.
Spock What? Their viagra stolen?
Ahura Yes -- The San Diego police are looking for a gang of hardened
criminals
(pause for groans)
Ahura Yes! Not only that. All of GA’s supplies of castor oil and X-Lax
have been stolen too.
McCoy No!
Ahura Yes -- The San Diego police are also looking for a gang of criminals
on the run.
Narrator Suddenly, in rushed Scotty, the Engineering Officer. He was in
charge of the Hoffman ion thrusters based on the field-reversed-
configuration. As we all know, the FRC makes an ideal propulsion
system as the system is so leaky. The problem is that the plasma
spews out equally in all directions. Consequently, the FRC
program never goes anywhere.
16
Scotty (in an anguished Scottish accent) Captain, Captain - the FRC reactor
is going to blow any minute! I cannae hold her much longer.
Goldston Don’t worry Scotty. It won’t blow. The FRC is a very attractive
reactor.
Narrator Suddenly Doctor McCoy spots something on the scanner.
McCoy Captain! The sensors have picked a very small, compact object. It’s
very hot and intensely radioactive. Is it a neutron star?
Goldston Spock -- what is it?
Spock Hot and intensely radioactive? It must be the center post from one
of Martin Peng’s spherical tori reactors!
Goldston Al right! All right! I’ve had enough of this. That’s enough jokes at
Princeton’s expense! We’ve been doing this bloody skit for 20
minutes now and we still haven’t had a dig at Livermore. You
know – that California lab that has achieved inertial confinement in
both its laser fusion program and its mirror program
Narrator Okay, okay. Very well…… Hey, I know! Lieutenant Ahura here
can tell us all about Livermore. She’s married to someone from
Livermore.
McCoy So you’re husband is a Livermoron eh? Good marriage is it?
Ahura Well yes, but I don’t know what he does there. He won’t tell me
since I don’t have a Q-clearance and sigma levels 1,2,11, and 69.
17
Goldston I know just how you feel. When I tell Livermore:-- “I’ll show you
my physics if you show me yours”, they always say the same thing
– No Q, no sigma, no need-to-know -- no secrets!
Narrator And so Captain Goldston had to get all his secrets from Los
Alamos.
* * * * *
18
Scene 4 The 243,000,000 th FESAC Meeting at Livermore
[Dramatis personae Scene 4: Narrator, John Sheffield, a Witch from the Planet Zod, Dick
Siemon, MFE Theory Program Leader, James T. Goldston, Mike Campbell]
Narrator John Sheffield convenes the 243,000,000th FESAC meeting at LLNL
which, as everyone knows, stands for “Lasers, Lasers and Nothing
but Lasers”. FESAC’s main job is to assess the difference between
“To Boldly Go” and “To Go Boldly”, a task that should take at least
several months of meetings. Of course, it won’t actually get to
decide anything, rather it will just list the opportunities that can be
had with split infinitives.
The FESAC Panel have just toured the National Ignition Facility
and are impressed that ignition on NIF is now just thirty years
away!
Present at the Livermore FESAC meeting are the normal fusion
community rabble and a strange, intergalactic traveler -- a witch
from the planet Zod, and she can foretell the future .
John Sheffield opens the meeting with his impeccable British accent
(Don Batchelor is playing this part!)..
Sheffield Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to the two-hundred-and-forty-
three-millionth meeting of FESAC. I would like to say it gives me
great pleasure . . . (pauses and smiles) . . . and it always has! (pause)
And no, I don’t know where all the Viagra tablets from GA have
gone.
(Looks stern) I must say that by losing all those Viagra tablets, GA
have really let the fusion program down !
Narrator John Sheffield turns to the Witch from the Planet Zod.
19
Witch (very deliberately) Yes! I can!
Sheffield I understand you can foretell the future?
(pause as Sheffield – and audience -- consider this rather sophisticated joke)
Witch The quasi antisymmetric toroidal helical omnigenous ITER
stellarator
Sheffield What concept should Princeton abandon? …. (thinks for a second)…
Wait a minute. Hold on. This foretelling the future is all very well
but it makes it very hard for the audience to understand. (points to
audience) They’re not laughing.
Witch But they didn’t laugh at the previous part of the script either!
Sheffield True. But please, from now on, answer the question after I’ve
asked it.
Now, you just said an ITER stellarator. An ITER stellerator eh? It
sounds like the title of a Stephen King novel! (pause)
Now here’s a question of the future. How long will it be before we
have fusion.
Witch Thirty years
Sheffield From now?
Witch From whenever you like. It will always be thirty years.
Sheffield Oh dear. Then you must tell us -- What is the secret of fusion?
Witch The secret of fusion is to sustain your research budgets while fusion
remains 30 years away!
20
Sheffield Right. Next on the agenda is Dick Siemon.. Dr Siemon -- I
understand you have brought a working version of your high-yield
MTF target to show us
(Siemon drags in the large traffic cone with W88 marked on it)
Siemon Yes. Guranteed to work! It’s rather high yield and there is a
standoff problem. But the rep rate is only once every 30 minutes!
Sheffield Okay, that’s enough real fusion.
It’s now time to hear from the IFE Theory Program. who are
capable of predicting what’s going to happen before the experiment
is completed. And also the MFE Theory Program who can’t predict
what happened in an experiment even after it has been performed
(Turns to MFE Theory Program Leader) And so tell us MFE Theory
Program – have you discovered anything new in theory
Theory Yes we have made progress of galactic importance in several
critical areas.
Sheffield Can you give us any examples
Theory Certainly
Our new multidimensional finite element code, MH12D, has shown
that within 2% a round plasma is circular
(pause)
Another spectacular contribution in ICF has shown that in 85% of
the LASTHOPE mega simulation runs, the pellet implodes inwards
(pause)
21
Also, in our new full wave, 3-D, RF heating code, ZAPEM, we have
been able to achieve a maximum efficiency of 87% in power
absorption by an adjacent antenna
(pause)
Most amazingly we have developed a 3-D, multifluid, gyrokinetic,
MHD, Fokker-Planck code, including a Wall Street analysis
package,. This code, NIMBICILE has conclusively demonstrated in
over 50% of the runs, - all right 3 out of 5 runs,- that
microinstability-driven turbulence causes energy to be transported
in the outward direction.
(pause)
Finally, our new RF heating code, IHEAT, has shown that ICH in
the presence of ITG contributes to the formation of ITB’s even in the
absence if IBW. I be damned if I know what that means.
Sheffield Okay, Okay. That’s enough theory for this millennium. (turns to
Goldston) Now, Captain Goldston. What would you like to hear
next on the agenda?
Goldston I’d like to hear more jokes at the expense of IFE -- there’s been
enough digs at MFE in this skit. It’s IFE’s turn now.
Sheffield I agree. We’ll let the leader of the Klingons -- Darth Campbell – tell
us about inertial con fusion. …. Dr Campbell?…..Er Dr Campbell?
Are you ther
(Campbell wanders in after a minute or two oblivious to the situation and carrying on an
animated conversion on his cell phone)
Campbell Ah, the FESAC meeting! Was that today? Right, I’d like to explain
to Captain Gladstone here about the new national collaborative
fusion program. Here’s how it works Captain Gudstein. You give
22
me half the MFE budget and I’ll make Steve Bodner an offer he
can’t refuse!
(pauses)
See, Captain Goldbucket – it’s already worked! He’s gone. Now
where’s my half of the budget?
Goldstein (grimly) Just tell us how ICF works.
Campbell Well ICF is quite simple. My mother explained it all to me. You
take a B-B pellet and a beer can (holds up a golf ball and the beer can)
Everyone Yes?
Campbell And you put the B-B at the center at the center of a beer can.
Everyone Yes?
Campbell And then you take more power than is generated in the whole of
the United States.
Everyone Yes?
Campbell And you stuff all the power into the beer can
Everyone Yes?
Campbell And then you cover your ears and run
Everyone Yes, yes? And? And?
Campbell And that’s it.
Everyone That’s it?
23
Campbell Yes. Wonderful isn’t it! (Then peers suspiciously at the golf ball)
Wait a minute! Look at the dimples on this capsule! Look at the
terrible surface finish! It’s clearly one of Ken Schultz’s targets!
Sheffield And now Darth Campbell, it seems that FESAC will be unable to
decide between “To Boldly Go” and “To Go Boldly” -- other than
to point out the wonderful opportunities, of course!. So, do you
have any suggestions?
Campbell Of course. The IFE program has all the answers!
Sheffield Ah-ha! So tell us
Campbell I have the very process for you. A process that will enable you to all
come to consensus on this issue.
Goldston A process to come to consensus on “To Boldly Go”? Surely you
can’t mean …..
Campbell Yes! You need to convene….. (pause) ….a Snowmass meeting!
All (together) A Snowmass meeting! Oh no! Anything but that!
( curtain – and rotten fruit )
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