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Components of
Marriage
Dr. Ama Kyerewaa Edwin
outline
1. What is marriage
2. Purpose of marriage
3. Components of a great
marriage
What is Marriage?
• Marriage is a covenant relationship designed
by God:
• It is the strongest covenant on earth
between two people.
• The pledge of a man and woman to
establish a love that is unconditional and
lasts a lifetime.
Purpose of Marriage
1. To experience companionship
2. To value others
3. To walk in unity
4. To grow in fruitfulness/synergy
5. To give love and protection
6. To raise children
a great marriage
Components of a great marriage
Components of a great marriage
FOUNDATION
Self-giving love• A lasting marriage must
be built on a sure
foundation that will not
rot, erode or wear away
over time.
• The only sure foundation
for a lifelong marriage is
agape – the self-giving
love that has its source
and origin in God
•
Love is patient
• Patience is where love
meets wisdom.
• Patience doesn’t
rush to judgment
Love is kind
• Kindness – love in action
1.Gentleness
2.Helpfulness
3.Willingness
4.Initiative
Love does not envy
• Illegitimate jealousy (to be
moved with envy)
• We complete each other and not
compete each other.
Love is not rude
• Rudeness usually results from
ignorance and selfishness
1.Guard the golden rule
2.No double standards
3.Honour requests
Love is not self seeking
1. Do I truly want what’s best for my
loved one?
2. Do I want them to feel loved by me?
3. Do they believe I have their best
interest in mind
4. Do they see me as looking out for
myself first?
Love is thoughtful
• Love thinks.
• It knows that loving thoughts
precede loving actions.
Love is not easily angered
• Irritability results from stress and selfishness
• Stress:
1.Excessive causes
2.Deficiencies
• Selfishness
1.Lemons
2.Peaches
Love keeps no record of wrongs
• Forgiveness is essential for any
successful relationship
• A great relationship does not result
from never hurting each other.
• It results from choosing not to keep
a ―record of wrongs‖
Love rejoices with the truth
• Love rejoices in the things that
are true
• Use your influence to lead your
loved ones to be true to
themselves and others
Love always protects
• Your relationship needs to be protected from
– Harmful influences
– Unhealthy relationships
– Shame
– Parasites
• Guard your heart/home
Love believes the best
• Appreciation room
• Depreciation room
• Love chooses to believe the best and gives the benefit of the doubt.
Love endures
• Of all the things
love dares to do,
this is the ultimate.
• Love endures
through thick and
thin.
Pillars of marriage
Pillars of marriage
• Having a common purpose
• Having a common pool of resources
• Having knowledge and
understanding
• Having fellowship
Common purpose
• Can two walk together except they
agree?
• Marriage is like a journey.
• You cannot travel in different directions.
• The 3 Ms
1. Master
2. Mission
3. Mate
Common purpose
Common resources
Common resources• See the bigger picture
• KSA =
– Knowledge
– Skill
– Abilities
manage resources
knowledge & understanding
• Men and women are different
• We have to understand our differences
and live with each other according to
knowledge.
• Love is making a commitment to meet
the needs of another person.
knowledge & understanding
Male Needs
1. Sexual fulfillment
2. Recreational
companionship;
3. Attractive woman
4. Domestic support
5. Admiration and
respect;
Female needs
1. Affection
2. Communication and
conversation
3. Honesty and openness
4. Financial support
5. Family commitment.
Dr Myles Munroe
knowledge & understanding
Men
• A logical thinker
• Language spoken is
an expression of
what he is thinking.
• Language that is
heard by a man is
the receiving of
information.
Women
• An emotional feeler.
• Language spoken is
an expression of what
she is feeling.
• Language that is
heard by a woman is
an emotional
experience.
Dr Myles Munroe
knowledge & understanding
Men
• Tend to take
everything personally.
• In material things men
want to know the
details of how to get
there.
• In intangible things,
men look at goals.
Women
• Tend to take
everything I
• In material things,
women tend to look at
goals only.
• In intangible things
women want to know
how to get there.
Dr Myles Munroe
knowledge & understanding
Men
• A man's mind is like
a filing cabinet.
• A man's job is an
extension of his
personality.
• Men can be
nomadic.
Women • A woman's mind is like
a computer.
• A woman's home is an
extension of her
personality.
• Women need security
and roots.
Dr Myles Munroe
knowledge & understanding
Men
• Men are stable and
level off.
• Men tend to stand
back and evaluate
before they get
involved.
• Men need to be told
again and again.
Women • Women are always
changing
• Women tend to become
involved more easily
and more quickly than
men do.
• Women never forget.
Dr Myles Munroe
knowledge & understanding
Men
• Men tend to
remember the gist
of things rather than
the details.
• Males are givers by
nature
Women
• Women tend to
remember the details
and sometimes distort
the gist.
• Females are receivers
by nature
Dr Myles Munroe
Fellowship
• Communication
• Sexual Intimacy
Communication
• True communication can occur only
in an environment conducive to
honest self-expression.
• Genuine communication requires
both speaking and understanding.
Communication
• To communicate is to transmit
information, thought, or feeling so
that it is satisfactorily received or
understood.
• The key to communication is
understanding, and the key to
understanding is listening.
Communication
• Good listening involves reaching
beyond our filters to hear what other
people are really saying
–Not only with their words,
–But also with their tone of voice
–Their facial expressions
–And their body language.
Communication• Effective face-to-face
communication is
always holistic in
nature.
• It involves all the
senses and the full
engagement of body,
intellect, and mental
energy.
Communication
Communication
• How someone else perceives
and understands us depends on
• 7 % on what we say (words)
• 38 % on how we say it, (tone)
• 55 % on what we are doing (body
language) when we say it.
Communication
• One sign of a healthy and growing
relationship is a deepening level of
intimacy in the interaction and
communication of those involved in the
relationship.
• One way to define intimacy is the
willingness and trust to make oneself
completely open and vulnerable
Sexual Intimacy• Sex is not love.
• Sex is an appetite.
• Sex is for procreation.
• Sex is for recreation and release.
• Sex is for communication.
Sexual Intimacy• Sexual fulfillment and happiness in
marriage depend on an open, loving,
accepting, and affirming environment in
which each spouse feels comfortable
making his or her needs and desires
known to the other.
• A solid guiding principle for all of life,
including sexual behavior, is to ask the
question, "Does it edify?"
Lovemaking Cycle
Roof – friendship
Roof – friendship • A husband and wife should be each
other's best friend.
• True friendship transcends and rises
above even the ties of family
relationships.
• Openness and transparency are marks
of true friendship.
• Friends are open and honest with each
other.
Roof - friendship
• Friendship between a husband and
wife, with its characteristic honesty and
openness, is absolutely essential for a
happy, successful, and thriving
marriage.
• Friendship is the catalyst that ultimately
will fuse a husband and wife into one
like a precious gem.
leak proof your marriage
leakproofing• One excellent way to keep a marriage
alive and vital and exciting is for the
husband and wife both to be
spontaneous at times—to do something
unexpected.
• Honest love and appreciation are the
lifeblood of a happy marriage.
• Love needs to be expressed regularly
and often; it should never be assumed.
Leak-proofing• Paying little attentions will help keep
romance and the spirit of courtship
alive in the relationship, even after
many years of marriage.
• Above all, always be courteous.
Sealing the leaks
Sealing the leaks
• Avoid criticism.
–By its nature criticism is destructive
because it focuses on finding fault
with the intention of hurting rather
than of finding a solution.
–Seek solutions instead.
• Avoid taking each other for granted
Take home Message• Building a great
marriage is like
building a home
Take home MessageSometimes you may
not see the beauty in
the process
But keep working at
it, can be beautiful
if you work at it.
Thank you
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