Presenter: Carolyn Young, LMSW

Presenter: Carolyn Young, LMSW

Same-Sex Couples Counseling

SAME-SEX COUPLES COUNSELING

Same-Sex Couples

MYTH/TRUTH

• Don’t have same problems as heterosexual couples.

• Same-sex relationships are not important enough to utilize counseling?

• Can work their own problems out.

• Should never foster or adopt children.

• Origin of problems stems from their sexual orientation of choice.

• Same-sex relationships have some of the same problems as heterosexual relationships.

Same Sex vs.

Heterosexual

Same Sex Couples vs Heterosexual Couples

Goals Goals

Loving Family Loving Family

Children Children

Committed Relationship Committed Relationship

According to 2010 U.S. Census Bureau and 2010 American Community Survey

• Approximately 131,729 same-sex married couple households lived in U.S. (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010)

• Approximately 514,735 same-sex unmarried partner households in the U.S. (U.S. Census Bureau, 2010)

• Nationally about 1% of all couple households were same-sex couples. (2010 American Community Survey)

• Out of 594,000 same-sex couple households, 115,000 reported having children. (2010 American Community Survey)

• 84% of these households contained own children of the householder. (2010 American Community Survey)

2010 U.S. Census Bureau

2010 American Community Survey

•

Measurements of Accuracy

2010 U.S. Census Bureau revised estimates provide 10-year bench mark. U.S. Census Bureau derived data from two questions in a selected box; that could have mistakenly been checked in error.

2010 ACS estimates utilizes yearly time series. ACS is a nationwide survey designed to provide communities with reliable and timely demographic, social, economic, and housing data for the nation, states, congressional districts, counties, places, and other localities every year.

Married straight couples w/families make up less than half of U.S. households….first time this group dropped below 50% since census data collected on families in 1940.

Husband/wife households w/children fell by 5% between 2000 and 2010.

Unmarried straight couples living together increased by 40.2%--four times the national average, but no comparison to rise in number of same-sex couples living together..80.4% from 2000 to 2010.

nationaljournal.com

Conflicts Same-Sex vs. Heterosexual Couples

Same-Sex Heterosexual

Finances Finances

Household chores Household chores

Child rearing Child rearing

Intimacy Intimacy

EzineArticles.com

Same-Sex CouplesConflict Styles

• Same-Sex couples tend to use effective arguing

• Tend to see humor in conflicts

• Give each other fair hearing

• Brief and quickly forgotten

EzineArticle.com

Heterosexual Couples Conflict Styles

• Argue Ineffectively – “demand-withdraw”

• Conflicts are more frustrating

• Conflict resolution takes days

• Women tend to focus on the relationship

• Men tend to focus on logic and problem solving

EzineArticle.com

Why is therapy importantfor same-sex couples?

• Help couples stay together; especially pre-marital counseling

• Help withstand challenges/minority stresses

• Improve communication

• Deepen intimacy

• Improves patterns of relating

EzineArticle.com

Gender Issues in Counseling Same-Sex Couples

Barriers to Therapist’s Understanding of Same-Sex Relationships

Heterosexual Bias

Therapist Stereotypical Perception

Tendency to overemphasize sex roles

(Eldridge, 1987)

Therapist Heterosexual Bias

• Misunderstanding of same-sex population

• Unaware of heterosexual beliefs

• Religious beliefs

• Cultural beliefs

(Eldridge, 1987)

Therapist Stereotyping

• Gender stereotypes acts as barriers to effective therapy

• Assumption of gender role

• Linking behaviors to previous experience with population

• Unrecognized homophobia

• (Eldridge, 1987)

Overemphasized Sex Roles

• Therapist understanding of an intimate relationship

• Comparing intimate relationships of heterosexuals to same-sex relationships

• Being persistent about identifying roles in the relationship

(Eldridge, 1987)

Guidelines for Therapist and EducatorsRef: Same-Sex Couples

• Therapist Training

• Assist clients to integrate their gay male or lesbian identities into a fulfilling life-style

• Therapist might keep in mind the subtle and insidious nature of heterosexual bias and use knowledge as a reminder for reflection

• Discuss questions with colleagues about bias

• Develop habits of using gender-free language

(Eldridge, 1987)

Guidelines for TherapistContinues

• Constant Research

• Explore same-sex training and education seminars

• Identify resources and same-sex organizations

• Identify colleagues and utilize them as personal mentors

• Utilize Social Media

• Assist couples to develop effective coping strategies and management of minority stress.

• (Eldridge, 1987)

• (Riggle and Rostosky, 2005)

Gaps in Research

• Limited research has been done on Same-Sex Couples

• Willingness of Participants

• Disclosures

• Interest/fear in professionals

Attachment Theory

• Explains interpersonal and intrapersonal process in romantic relationships

• Framework for understanding individual differences in close relationships

• Secure attachment styles characterized by comfort with intimacy and trust in the availability of attachment figures

• Secure attachment styles have been shown to have positive outlook on their romantic relationships, resolve conflict effectively, and regulate emotions in a healthy way

• (Mohr, 2013)

References

• http://EzineArticles.com?expert=Mike_Ramidden• Eldridge, N. (1987). Gender Issues in Counseling Same-Sex Couples. Department of

Educational Psychology, University of Texas at Austin. Vol. 18(6)

• www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/2010_census/cb11-cm181.html

• Mohr, J., Selterman, D., and Fassinger, R. (2013). Romantic Attachment and Relationship Functioning in Same-Sex Couples. Journal of Counseling Psychology. Vol. 6(1), 72-82

• www.closercouples.com/articles/gay-lesbian-couples-counseling/

• www.nationaljournal.com/thenextamerica/demographics/census-more-in-u-s-report

• www.pbs.org/thismotionallife/topic/relationships/same-sex-couples

• Riggle, E.D.B., & Rostosky, S. S. (2005). For better or worse: Psycho-legal soft spots and advance planning for same-sex couples. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 35, 90-96

• www.census.gov/acs/www>.