Revision Considerations

1. Specific Examples/Details – do not generalize your information

2. Significance: it’s not WHAT happens by WHY it’s important to the character or story.

3. DQs – 1. Are they embedded? 2. Is it the BEST DQ for the example you’re

giving?3. Is your citation correct?

4. MLA format – Review this carefully via the video online OR by comparing with a partner.

Not specific: Bilbo is an average hobbit who would go

about the same daily schedule every day and be satisfied with that.▪ What schedule?? Detail it so we understand

HOW MUCH he has changed.

It is not enough to just tell what happens:

On his journey, Achak gains many friends. He meets Dut along the walk to Ethiopia. He also makes friends with Maria and Tabitha. Phil is also important.

These are all true statements – bravo! – but WHY do these people matter? Take the time to explain their importance so we really understand why they are a “gain.”

On his journey, Achak gains many friends. He meets Dut along the walk to Ethiopia. Though a slight man, Dut brings important passion and hope to Achak’s life. Without Dut, Achak would never have made it out of Marial Bai to his next stop, Ethiopia.

READ THIS OUT

LOUD!!!