Treating Trauma and Borderline Issues Effectively Using Inclusive Therapy Bill O’Hanlon

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Treating Trauma and Treating Trauma and Borderline Issues Borderline Issues Effectively Using Effectively Using Inclusive TherapyInclusive Therapy

Bill O’HanlonBill O’Hanlon

RaimyRaimy

““Psychotherapy is an undefined Psychotherapy is an undefined technique applied to unspecified cases technique applied to unspecified cases with unpredictable results. For this with unpredictable results. For this technique, rigorous training is technique, rigorous training is required.”required.”

Dissolving Resistance and Dissolving Resistance and AmbivalenceAmbivalence

DiscoveringDiscoveringInclusive TherapyInclusive Therapy

Including obsessionsIncluding obsessions

Inclusion Level 1Inclusion Level 1

Permission #1Permission #1

ToTo

• You canYou can

• It’s okayIt’s okay

• You’re okay ifYou’re okay if

Inclusion Level 1Inclusion Level 1

Permission #2Permission #2 Not to have toNot to have to

• You don’t have toYou don’t have to

• It’s okay if you don’tIt’s okay if you don’t

• You’re okay if you don’tYou’re okay if you don’t

DiscoveringDiscoveringInclusive TherapyInclusive Therapy

Handily escaping a bindHandily escaping a bind Protected vulnerabilityProtected vulnerability

Inclusion Level 2Inclusion Level 2

Inclusion of seeming oppositesInclusion of seeming opposites You can You can andand not not

• Opposite polaritiesOpposite polarities

• Previously incompatible Previously incompatible experiences/traitsexperiences/traits

InclusionInclusion““Do I contradict myself? Very Do I contradict myself? Very

well, then I contradict myself. well, then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain I am large, I contain multitudes.”multitudes.”

––Walt WhitmanWalt Whitman

InclusionInclusion

““Consistency is the last Consistency is the last refuge of the refuge of the unimaginative.”unimaginative.”

––Oscar WildeOscar Wilde

InclusionInclusion““The only completely The only completely

consistent people are the consistent people are the dead.”dead.”

––Aldous HuxleyAldous Huxley

Inclusion Level 3Inclusion Level 3

ExceptionsExceptions

That’s the way it is, except when That’s the way it is, except when it’s notit’s not

• Moments of exceptionMoments of exception

• Including the opposite possibilityIncluding the opposite possibility

• Recognizing complexityRecognizing complexity

Inclusion/ExceptionsInclusion/Exceptions

““Nothing is as Nothing is as dangerous as an dangerous as an idea when it is the idea when it is the only one you have.” only one you have.” – Emile Chartier– Emile Chartier

When to Apply InclusionWhen to Apply Inclusion

ResistanceResistance Inner conflictInner conflict NumbingNumbing Compulsions/obsessionsCompulsions/obsessions AmbivalenceAmbivalence Shame/self-devaluingShame/self-devaluing DissociationDissociation

Where to Apply InclusionWhere to Apply Inclusion

InjunctionsInjunctions BindsBinds ShameShame Polarities/inner conflictsPolarities/inner conflicts Devaluing/self-criticismDevaluing/self-criticism DissociationDissociation Dis-identification/non-identificationDis-identification/non-identification Over-identificationOver-identification

Where to Apply InclusionWhere to Apply Inclusion

InjunctionsInjunctions Restraining - Can't, shouldn't, won'tRestraining - Can't, shouldn't, won't Compelling - Have to, should, will, mustCompelling - Have to, should, will, must

Be, think, feel, know, notice, do, talk aboutBe, think, feel, know, notice, do, talk about

Undoing InjunctionsUndoing Injunctions

Determine the injunctionSex is bad.It's not okay to get angry.I have to relax or stop obsessing.

Use any or all of the inclusive methods to undo injunctions"It's okay to be connected and sexual.""You don't have to relax. If the obsessions are there, you can just let them be there."

Practice Undoing InjunctionsPractice Undoing Injunctions

Determine the injunctionI have to . . .I can't . . . .It's not okay to . . .I should . . . People should . . . Use any or all of the inclusive methods to undo injunctionsPermission (to and/or not to have to)NormalizingValuing of devalued aspectsInclusion of opposites

Where to Apply InclusionWhere to Apply Inclusion

BindsBinds Two competing or conflicting injunctions Two competing or conflicting injunctions

operating at the same timeoperating at the same time May be internal or interpersonal/contextualMay be internal or interpersonal/contextual

Practice Undoing BindsPractice Undoing Binds

Undoing binds"You can perfectly imperfect.""That was terribly accommodating of you.""You can achieve and not be the best.""You can be loved even when you don't achieve."

Where to Apply InclusionWhere to Apply Inclusion Polarities/inner conflictsPolarities/inner conflicts

May not seem like polarities or conflicts to others (i.e., May not seem like polarities or conflicts to others (i.e., having sexual pleasure and being connected with having sexual pleasure and being connected with another person)another person)

“ “Anger and tenderness–my selves. And now I can believe they breathe Anger and tenderness–my selves. And now I can believe they breathe in me as angels and not as polarities. Anger and tenderness–the in me as angels and not as polarities. Anger and tenderness–the spider’s genius. To spin and weave in one moment anywhere. Even spider’s genius. To spin and weave in one moment anywhere. Even from a broken web.” –Adrienne Richfrom a broken web.” –Adrienne Rich

““The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” –F. Scott Fitzgeraldfunction.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald

OXYMORONSOXYMORONS

Awfully niceAwfully nice Exact estimateExact estimate

Found missingFound missing Same differenceSame difference

Almost exactlyAlmost exactly Sweet sorrowSweet sorrow

““Now, then ...”Now, then ...” Working vacationWorking vacation

Terribly pleasedTerribly pleased Tight slacksTight slacks

Definite maybeDefinite maybe Pretty uglyPretty ugly

Apposition of OppositesApposition of OppositesTag QuestionsTag Questions

Apposition of opposites"You can remember to forget those things that are important to forget and remember to remember those things that are important to remember.OxymoronsElaborately casual; vicious pleasure; unconcerned vigilanceTag questions and comments"That's the way it is, isn't it?"

Practice Inclusion of OppositesPractice Inclusion of Opposites

Determine the conflict or polarityI am this (and not that)This but thatSwinging between this and thatNumbing/compulsive areas

Use inclusion of oppositesUse "and"Simultaneous experience of two thingsOxymoronApposition of opposites

Harvard LawHarvard Law

Under the most rigorously Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressures, controlled conditions of pressures, temperature, volume, humidity, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.will do as it damn well pleases.

This Powerpoint presentation was created by Bill O’Hanlon ©2010. You have my permission to use it for non-commercial purposes (like sharing it with your colleagues or studying it yourself). If you want to use it in any commercial (money-making) activities, please contact me for permission and discussion.

Permission to usePermission to use

Bill O’Hanlon’s infoBill O’Hanlon’s infoWebsites:Websites:http://www.billohanlon.comhttp://www.billohanlon.comhttp://www.getyourbookpublished.comhttp://www.getyourbookpublished.comhttp://www.yourlifeoffreedom.comhttp://www.yourlifeoffreedom.comhttp://www.paidpublicspeaker.comhttp://www.paidpublicspeaker.com

Email:Email:Bill@billohanlon.comBill@billohanlon.com

Bill O’Hanlon, M.S., LMFTPossibilities

223 N. Guadalupe #278Santa Fe, NM 87501 USA

Bill@billohanlon.com505.983.2843

www.billohanlon.com

Contact informationContact information

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