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“Embracing Change To Experience Life!”. Wise Up About CONFLICTS. Proverbs 10:17. Proverbs 10:17…. “He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.” (NIV). Proverbs 27:5,6…. “ (v.5) Better is open rebuke than hidden love. - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
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“Embracing Change To Experience Life!”
“Embracing Change To Experience Life!”
Proverbs 10:17 Proverbs 10:17
Proverbs 10:17…. Proverbs 10:17….
“He who heeds discipline
shows the way to life, but
whoever ignores correction
leads others astray.”
(NIV)
“He who heeds discipline
shows the way to life, but
whoever ignores correction
leads others astray.”
(NIV)
Proverbs 27:5,6…. Proverbs 27:5,6….
“ (v.5) Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
(v.6) Wounds from a friendcan be trusted, but an
enemy multiplies kisses.”(NIV)
“ (v.5) Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
(v.6) Wounds from a friendcan be trusted, but an
enemy multiplies kisses.”(NIV)
The sign of aHEALTHY
RELATIONSHIP….• NOT an absence of conflict.• NOT an absence of conflict.
• BUT the ability to resolve conflict in a positive,
healthy way.
• BUT the ability to resolve conflict in a positive,
healthy way.
The real test of our
congregation’s health is
our ability to resolve
these conflicts in a
healthy, biblical way.
Six Steps to….
Proverbs 10:12…. Proverbs 10:12….
“Hatred stirs up dissension, but LOVE covers all
wrongs.” (NIV)
“Hatred stirs up dissension, but LOVE covers all
wrongs.” (NIV)
The Hebrew word for
… simply refers to “strong dislike for another person.”
Strong dislike for people stirs up arguments.
covers over all wrongs. covers over all wrongs.
This Hebrew verb
“cover”here comes from the
Hebrew word for
"forgive."
Therefore….
“to cover a wrong”is to forgive an offense;
to let an offense go.
1 Peter 4:8…. 1 Peter 4:8….
“Above all, love each
other deeply because
love covers a multitude
of sins.” (NIV)
“Above all, love each
other deeply because
love covers a multitude
of sins.” (NIV)
Decide ahead of time to
conduct yourself with love.
With every conflict we face a
crossroad, a decision of
whether to conduct ourselves with love or to conduct
ourselves in an unloving way.
This DECISION is often a
difficult one…. thatcosts us and goes against
our natural impulses.
This is the Christian path of
GROWTH and MATURITY,
the pathway of love.
LOVE is making the decisionto act in the best interests ofthe other person. LOVE is a decision that puts the needs of the person above our own needs at that moment.
By willingly going to the
Cross, Jesus made the decision to do what was
in our best interestsat great cost to Himself.
1 John 3:16.…1 John 3:16.…
“This is how we know
what love is: Jesus Christ
laid down his life for us.
And we ought to lay down
our lives for our brothers.”
(NIV)
“This is how we know
what love is: Jesus Christ
laid down his life for us.
And we ought to lay down
our lives for our brothers.”
(NIV)
Matthew 5:46.…Matthew 5:46.…
“If you love those who love
you, what reward will you
get?
Are not even the tax
collectors doing that?” (NIV)
“If you love those who love
you, what reward will you
get?
Are not even the tax
collectors doing that?” (NIV)
Proverbs 19:11…. Proverbs 19:11….
“A person’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory
to overlook an offense.”
(NIV)
“A person’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory
to overlook an offense.”
(NIV)
The “wise person” learnsto overlook offenses.
… forgive that offense
Therefore, the decision to
love gives the wise person
the capacity to forgive.
For FORGIVENESS to
occur, there has to be an acknowledgement that
an offense occurred.
is simply the choice of not holding on to an offense.
Proverbs 19:11.…Proverbs 19:11.…
“A man’s wisdom gives him
patience; it is to his glory
to overlook an offense.”
(NIV)
“A man’s wisdom gives him
patience; it is to his glory
to overlook an offense.”
(NIV)
A refusal to forgivea person is UNWISE
because it ends up poisoning our lives with bitterness.
According to the Bible,a lack of forgiveness causes two things to
happen…. 1) It opens our life to
satanic power.
2) It chokes off God’s grace.
Proverbs 27:5,6…. Proverbs 27:5,6….
“ (v.5) Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
(v.6) Wounds from a friendcan be trusted, but an enemy
multiplies kisses.” (NIV)
“ (v.5) Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
(v.6) Wounds from a friendcan be trusted, but an enemy
multiplies kisses.” (NIV)
Direct confrontationis always better than
unexpressed love!
must
confront sometimes!
HIDDEN LOVEis a love that’s
too timid and afraid
to confront a person.
Whenever we’re in a
CONFLICTwith another person,
we need to
“open ourselves to
correction.”
To solve real problems,we need to learn to
“OPEN UP”to one another.
We need to
OPEN OURSELVES UPto any part we played
in the problem.
When we open ourselvesto receive correction,
WE GROW!
Proverbs 28:13…. Proverbs 28:13….
“He who conceals his sins
does not prosper, but whoever confesses and
renouncesthem finds mercy.”
(NIV)
“He who conceals his sins
does not prosper, but whoever confesses and
renouncesthem finds mercy.”
(NIV)
Only the person I hurt can
make the choice to "cover"
or "overlook" my offense.
cuts off God’s blessingsin my life.
hinders my prayer life.
builds a blockade against God’s presence.
chokes off God’s love.
When we confess and renounce our sins,
we discover MERCY.
simply means
“agree” or
“acknowledge.”
simply means
“agree” or
“acknowledge.”
“Renouncing” means we
leave that sin behind, turn
away from it in repentance.
“Renouncing” means we
leave that sin behind, turn
away from it in repentance.
means
“to abandon” “to abandon”
We always find
MERCY from God
when we confess
and renounce, BUT
we don’t always find
MERCY from people.
“An angry person stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one (person) commits many sins.”
(NIV)
“An angry person stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one (person) commits many sins.”
(NIV)
Proverbs 29:22…. Proverbs 29:22….
In any conflict,
“ANGER” is like petrol,
and when anger is
expressed inappropriately,
minor conflicts can become
volatile arguments.
When we lose our temper,we end up committingmore and more sins.
We hurl words of abuse and insult on the person.
We hurl words of abuse and insult on the person.
We cut and slash with words of sarcasm. We cut and slash with words of sarcasm.
We destroy the person’s reputation with other people.
We destroy the person’s reputation with other people.
According to the Bible,it is possible to be angryand express our anger
without sinning!
This same verse alsocommands us to refuseto allow the day to end
without dealing with the
ANGER!
This same verse alsocommands us to refuseto allow the day to end
without dealing with the
ANGER!
Unresolved anger is like
toxic waste; when we refuse
to deal with it, it seeps
into every aspect of the
relationship, contaminating it.
What about the other person?
The reality is that you have
absolutely no control over
how the other personacts in a conflict.
“ (v.7) Whoever corrects a
mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked
person invites abuse. (v.8) Do not rebuke a mocker or he
will hate you; rebuke a wise person and he will love you. .
…
“ (v.7) Whoever corrects a
mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked
person invites abuse. (v.8) Do not rebuke a mocker or he
will hate you; rebuke a wise person and he will love you. .
…
Proverbs 9:7-9…. Proverbs 9:7-9….
…. (v.9) Instruct a wise person and he will be wiser
still; teach a righteous person and he will add
to his learning.”(NIV)
…. (v.9) Instruct a wise person and he will be wiser
still; teach a righteous person and he will add
to his learning.”(NIV)
Proverbs 9:7-9…. Proverbs 9:7-9….
The "mocker" in this section is a person who is simplynot open to correction.
Proverbs tells us, “Don’t bother with this person.”
LOVE this person. PRAY for him.
“Why do you look at the
speck of sawdust in your
brother's eye and pay no
attention to the plank in
your own eye?” (NIV)
“Why do you look at the
speck of sawdust in your
brother's eye and pay no
attention to the plank in
your own eye?” (NIV)
Matthew 7:3…. Matthew 7:3….
In other words,
look at yourself first, and only after you’ve done
self evaluation, are you
ready to bring
correction to others.
In other words,
look at yourself first, and only after you’ve done
self evaluation, are you
ready to bring
correction to others.
When we correct people
we need to
carefully balance
When we correct people
we need to
carefully balance
withwith
is needful.is needful.
… is extending compassionand mercy to people when we confront them.
… is extending compassionand mercy to people when we confront them.
… means giving the other person the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming that they have impure motives.
… means giving the other person the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming that they have impure motives.
… comes when we’re willing to forgive, when we avoid name calling and sarcasm.
… comes when we’re willing to forgive, when we avoid name calling and sarcasm.
is also
important.
is also
important.
… is being open and honest with what the other person has done and how their actions have affected us.
… is being open and honest with what the other person has done and how their actions have affected us.
… refuses to minimize the issue, but it also doesn’t blow the issue out of proportion.
… refuses to minimize the issue, but it also doesn’t blow the issue out of proportion.
… is also being honest with your emotions, taking the risk to share what’s going on in your heart.
… is also being honest with your emotions, taking the risk to share what’s going on in your heart.
People who are weak in
GRACE GIVING often
REFUSE to forgive.
We need to
in our life!
“By this all men [people]
will know that you are my
disciples [followers],
if you love one another.”
(NIV)
“By this all men [people]
will know that you are my
disciples [followers],
if you love one another.”
(NIV)
John 13:35…. John 13:35….
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