Word Choice in Terms of Style, Tone, and Clarity

Word Choice in Terms of Style, Tone, and

Clarity

Tutorial #1: Delete Redundant Material

Redundant material includes words or phrases that repeat ideas in the sentence.

The Rule: Delete redundant Words and Phrases. Avoid wordiness.

Explanation of SkillRedundant Phrase: Mary was alarmingly startled

by the lightening strike.

Concise Sentence: Mary was startled by the lightening strike.

Redundant PairsTerrible tragedyPast historyEach individualFinal outcomePast memoriesTrue facts

Redundant Categories(large) in size(heavy) in weight(period) in time(tall) in height

Abbreviation CategoriesAIDS syndromePIN numberATM machineCD diskAM morningPM afternoon

Incorrect:The football player suffered a harmful injury

during the game. Tom stood in his backyard behind his house.

Correct:The football player suffered and injury during

the game.

Tom stood in his backyard.

ACT Examples

It wasn’t long before the mob had William completely surrounded. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that William had been spending his afternoons outside of the community center.

A. NO CHANGEB. entirely surroundedC. surrounded completelyD. surrounded

ACT ExamplesIt wasn’t long before the mob had William completely surrounded. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that William had been spending his afternoons outside of the community center.

A. NO CHANGEB. entirely surroundedC. surrounded completelyD. surrounded

ACT Examples

In An Ordinary Man, Paul Rusesabagina’s autobiography of his life, Rusesabagina examined the complexities of the Rwandan Genocide and offers commentary on how to prevent future atrocities from happening.

A. NO CHANGEB. autobiographyC. own autobiographyD. autobiography of his own

ACT Examples

In An Ordinary Man, Paul Rusesabagina’s autobiography of his life, Rusesabagina examined the complexities of the Rwandan Genocide and offers commentary on how to prevent future atrocities from happening.

A. NO CHANGEB. autobiographyC. own autobiographyD. autobiography of his own

Obvious RedundancySally went to the store. At the store, she bought

candy, and then she left the store.

Can be changed to:

Sally went to the store, bought candy,

and left.

Subtle RedundancySuzanne wrote a very unique story.

Can be changed to:Suzanne wrote a unique story.

Rewrite this paragraph