Hypertransitory 40th Anniversary Special!

40thANNIVERSARY

SPECIAL!“THE ORIGIN OF JG!”

BY JOHN GARRETThypertransitory.com

OUR SON WON’T PERISH

WHEN OUR DOOMED WORLD

EXPLODES. THIS ROCKET

WILL TAKE BABY

JG TO A SAFE WORLD

--EARTH!

AT LEAST

OUR SON WILL OUTLIVE HIS

WORLD!

I HOPE HE FINDS A GOOD

HOME ON

EARTH!

GOODBYE, MY

SON...AND GOOD LUCK!

DON’T WORRY,DEAR. ALTHOUGH WE WON’T

SURVIVE, OUR LOVE WILL...

“...AND IT WILL TRAVEL ALONG WITH OUR SON, NO

MATTER WHERE HE MAY GO...”

“...THROUGHOUT ALL TIME AND SPACE...”

“...FOREVER.”

“UNLESS...”

...UNLESS FOR SOME REASON

HE BECOMES A CARTOONIST, OR

SOME KIND OF COMIC ARTIST...OR

STARTS A BLOG OF SOME SORT!

IN THAT CASE WE WILL

WITHOUT QUESTION DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY,

CATEGORICALLY, UNEQUIVOCALLY

NOT LOVE HIM, AND HE WILL BE ON HIS OWN!!!

BUT I DON’T THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY

ABOUT THAT.HOLD ME.

I LOVE YOU, BLACK LARA. I LOVE YOU,

BLACK JOR-EL.

40 YEARS LATER

PLANET EARTH.

MILWAUK�, WI, USA.

OH, JE�Y MAGUIRE...YOU FINA�Y FOUND

LOVE.

YOU COMPLETE

ME.

YOU HAD ME AT

HE�O.

SO BEAUTIFUL...I CAN’T STAND

IT!

HONK!

HONK!HONK!

SNORT!!!SNORT!!!SNORT!!!

QUICKLY, TO THE

INTERNET!

THE PUBLIC WI� BE INTERESTED IN MY THOUGHTS ON THIS 15 YEAR OLD

MOVIE!

WHAT THE..!?!

FWASH!!!FWASH!!!

WHO THE HECK ARE

YOU?!?

WE’RE THE 3 VI�AINS FROM BLACK KRYPTON!

I’M BLACK GENERAL ZOD, THIS IS BLACK

NON...

AND I’M BLACK

URSA!

FWASH!!!FWASH!!!

W-WHAT DO YOU WANT??

YOUR FATHER SENTENCED US TO

AN ETERNITY IN THE PHANTOM ZONE, AND NOW WE’RE HERE FOR

REVENGE!

SO KN�L, SON OF BLACK

JOR-EL! KN�L BEFORE...BEFORE

UH...

...sAY, IS THIS YOUR PLACE??

YEAH. WHAT ABOUT

IT?

WHA�ADUMP!

AND WHAT’S THAT AWFUL STENCH??

WE�, I MAY BE A BIT BEHIND IN MY

LAUNDRY, BUT I HARDLY think “AWFUL STENCH”

IS FAIR...

�E�!

L�K AT THIS PLACE!

IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO FOR

YOURSELF?!?

WE�, I --

TRUE,BUT --

IT’S B�N 40 YEARS!!

THIS PLACE IS A

SHIT-HOLE!

SHIT!

HOLE!

WE�, THESE ARE TRYING ECONOMIC TIMES FOR EVERYONE

AND --

--AND EVERYONE’SHAD TO MAKE DO WITH

LE� THESE DAYS!

TO MAKE EXTRA CASH I

A�ED A BUNCH MORE G�GLE ADS TO MY

BLOG --

A BLOG??! TH-THAT’S

RIDICULOUS!

you n�d to get o� your a�

and get a job!

G�GLE ADS?! WHAT!?!

G�GLE ADS AREN’T A

RELIABLE SOURCE OF INCOME!

what HA�ENS WHEN

THE NEXT G�GLE UPDATE HITS??

DO YOU KNOW HOW

MUCH TRA�IC YOU HAVE TO PUSH TO

GET DECENT MONEY..???

HAVE YOU TRIED A�ILIATE

MARKETING?!

A BLOG ISN’T A

BUSINE�!

HEY, GUYS!HEY, GUYS!

LISTEN CHUMPS, DON’T COME AROUND HERE TALKING A�

THIS TRASH --

--YOU’RE STARTING TO

MAKE ME MAD!

I’D LIKE TO

S� ANY ONE OF YOU DO BE�ER..!!

I CAN DAMN WE� DO BE�ER THAN

THIS!!

WE’RE RIGHT HERE, PUNK!

SO WHAT? GET MAD,

THEN!DO

SOMETHING, THEN!

OR WHAT, HUH??

WHAT’S GO�A HA�EN?

GUYS!GUYS!

HEY, GUYS!

ENO�UGH!!ENO�UGH!!

IT’S 2 IN THE FREAKIN’

MORNING!!

NOW WHAT’S GOING ON?

I’M TRYIN’ TA GET SOME SL�P

HERE!!!

WE�?!?? I DON’T HAVE A� DAMN NIGHT!

SOMEBODY SPEAK UP!

WHAT’S THIS A� ABOUT??

THESE 3 VI�AINS FROM BLACK KRYPTON SHOWED

UP TALKING A LOT OF TRASH AND I REA�Y DON'T A�RECIATE IT!!!!

HE THINKS A BLOG IS GOING

TO..!!

EVERYONE HAS B�N ADVERSELY A�ECTED

BY THE RECE�ION and --!!!

HIS FATHER IMPRISONED US IN THE PHANTOM ZONE AND NOW

WE'RE HERE FOR REVENGE!!

and anotherThing, THIS PLACE

SME�S LIKEF�T!!

IT'S CA�ED TAKING PERSONAL

RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FATE!!!!!

AWRIGHT, AWRIGHT! SO�Y

I ASKED!

YO JG, YOU GOT THAT

RENT? YOU’RE ALREADY 2 MONTHS BEHIND.

ER...I DON’T HAVE IT RIGHT

NOW.

BUT I PUT SOME MORE G�GLE ADS ON MY SITE SO MAYBE IN A COUPLE

OF MONTHS...

���H! IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT THE G�GLE ADS WITH

YOU, AIN’T IT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

HIT THE BRICKS, KID. YOU’RE EVICTED!

NOW SINCE I’M UP, I GUE� I’� STEP OUT ON THE TOWN.

ANYONE WHO’S NAME

AIN’T ON THE LEASE HAD BE�ER GET GHOST BY THE TIME I COME

BACK...

...OR I’M CA�ING THE

COPS!!

SLAM!!SLAM!!

WE CAME HERETO DESTROY YOU,

BUT OBVIOUSLY LIFE HAS ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF

THAT S���O...

W�������...I GUE� WE’� BE

GOING NOW.

HEY, WOULDYOU MIND K�PING AN

EYE OUT FOR ANY PLACES WITH CHEAP RENT? I’M

GO�A N�D IT!

NOW THATYOU MENTION

IT, WE DO KNOW OF

ONE PLACE...

5 SECONDS LATER...

Stupid black krypton vi�ains!stupid phantom

zone!

everyone and everything in

the entire universeis stupid except

for me!!

Stupid rat landlord!

WHENI GET OU�A

HERE. . !

HEY, JG! FANCY M�TIN’ YOU HERE,

BU�Y!

WHA..??OH, NO! IT

CAN’T BE...NOT...

YOU?!?

YEAH, IT’S US, THE STUPID CLOWNS! REMEMBER US? FROM

YOUR EB�K??

BOY ARE WE GLAD TO S� YOU!

WE FORGIVE YOU

FOR REVEALING OUR I�ERMOST SECRETS

TO THE WORLD!

CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYTHING BE�ER THAN

SPENDING A� OF ETERNITY WITH US??

E��.WHATEVER.

IT COULD BE WORSE.

NOT MUCH WORSE, BUT

STI�. . .

...SO WHAT’S THERE TO DO AROUND

HERE?

WE JUST TE� STORIES TO PA� THE

TIME!

HEY! DID I EVER

TE� YOU GUYS ABOUT THE TIME I HAD CORNED B�F

FOR DI�ER??NOT A LOT!

YES, I’M PRE�Y SURE YOU TOLD ME

THAT ONE BEFORE...

YOU DEFINITELY

TOLD THIS STORY BEFORE!

WHAT’S THAT? TE� IT AGAIN?

NO, SOUNDS

EXCITING! TE� US A� ABOUT IT!

�H! I NEVER HEARD

THAT ONE BEFORE! LET’S HEAR IT! WE�

I’� START AT THE ENDING - IT TURNS

OUT THE CORNED B�F ISN’T SU�OSED TO BE

GR�N OR HAIRY AT A�!

NO! I SAID YOU ALREADY TOLD THIS

STORY!

G��H!

WE� I’D LIKE TO

KNOW WHAT HA�ENED IN

THE END!

YEAH, TE� IT AGAIN! SO WHERE

WAS I? OH YEAH, THE

END..!

YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? THIS GIVES ME AN IDEA

FOR ANOTHER E-B�K!

WHAT??

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

THE ENDhypertransitory.com