You Can't Spell "Archie" Without "ACR" Part 1

ANASYLUM

CHALLENGE

The Inmates Patients:Clockwise from bottom left:Ang/peasant007 (Devereaux Legacy), who rolled Romance; Cait/RegacyLady (Regacy), who rolled Grilled Cheese; De/fireflower314 (Morgan Legacy), who rolled Popularity; Dicreasy (Victorian Legacy), who rolled Family; Jamie/DocGirlP (Bohemian Legacy), who rolled Romance; Marina/smoothiequeen (Villainous Apocalypse), who rolled Popularity; and Orikes (Pseudo Legacy), who rolled Grilled Cheese.

Who's the cat herder here?

On the day I was bornThe nurses gathered 'roundAnd gazed in wide wonderAt the joy they had foundThe head nurse spoke upSaid, “Leave this one alone”'Cause she could tell right awayI was bad to the bone

Bad to the boneB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badBad to the bone

Bad to the boneB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badBad to the bone

I broke a thousand heartsBefore I met youAnd I'll break a thousand more, babyBefore I am throughI'm gonna be yours pretty babyYours and yours aloneI'm here to tell ya honeyI'm bad to the bone

I make a rich woman begI make a good woman stealMake an old woman blushAnd a young girl squealI'm here to tell ya honeyWhat I see I make my ownI'm here to tell ya babyThat I'm bad to the bone

Bad to the boneB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badBad to the bone

And when I walk the streetsKings and queens step asideEvery woman I meetThey all stay satisfiedI wanna tell ya pretty babyWell ya see I make my ownI'm here to tell ya honeyThat I'm bad to the bone

Bad to the boneB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badB-b-b-b-b-b-badBad to the bone

~~George Thorogood, “Bad to the Bone”

You Can't Spell “Archie” Without “ACR”

An Asylum Challenge(Take Two) (Part One)

Why “Take Two?” This is what happened by the end of the first week of Take One. Yeah, seven SimSelves couldn't NOT set themselves on fire for six whole days. Or three whole days, in some cases.

These five were recycled into Take Two. The survivors, such as they were, got moved into another house.

By “survivors,” I mean of course that Stacie didn't die due to being extinguished by Grimmy after he showed up to take Marina, and the fire that killed just about everyone else (including almost Archie, who was rescued by Grimmy as well) she managed to avoid getting in the middle of, and that the barely-not-dead Archie was able to successfully plead for Lark with Grimmy after she starved to death passed out in front of the fridge in a puddle of her own wee and surrounded by a green stink-cloud.

Yeah, so bragging rights, maybe just the teensiest bit unearned here, mmmkay?

Anyway, Lark and Stacie got moved in with some of the neighbors. Don't worry, your virtue will remain intact here!

Except for Stacie. It's just the sliiiiightest bit too late for that. *cough*

And yes, I did put ACR in here. You can't spell “Archie” without A, C, and R!

...or “acrimony.”

...or “acerbic.”

...or “arc.”

Di decides to set the land speed record for falling off a Dance Sphere. Everyone else is still outside, and she's already gotten herself dumped out on the floor.

Archie managed to get the bird cage stocked and the bird fed before she could get back on.

The one topic of conversation they can all agree on is how hot Archie is. Like his ego needed any boosting, ladies, really.

I don't really care what they talk about, as long as it keeps them in front of the TV learning to cook.

De managed to glitch through Cait's boob. Archie approved. Cait DID NOT.

I got Archie a job in Slacker. The Little Bastard, clearly knowing an opportunity when he sees one, rolled 20 Simultaneous Lovers as a LTW. Slacker has short hours and almost no skilling, but relies on friends, which he'll need to make anyway.

I really should stop doing Asylums. Impossible Wants are soooo much more Impossible when you can't use any of the shortcuts to doing them, like a Wishing Well or Social Glasses.

These two showed up in the Welcome Wagon and went around being adorable. As if they could do anything else!

Spider showed up too, and he and Archie actually managed to have a semi-civil conversation. Given their personalities, this is something of a miracle.

The two Cheese Sims bonded over their love of cheddar, pillow fighting, and not being in Asylums.

De tracked down Ang for some Red Hands. De is pretty much a Pop Sim's Pop Sim.

“Aw, Marina, bb, you are so bad right now, but ilu, have some money.”

“Haaaaate.”

Marina is NOT a Pop Sim's Pop Sim, in that she doesn't actually want to have anything to do with anyone else in the house. This makes De a sad panda, because she wants to be friends with everyone.

De's attempted overtures towards Marina had a rather unpleasant side effect. Fortunately, De made it to the bathroom in time. After this, she was pretty good about interspersing peeing with friend-making.

Ori made herself a delicious, non-burnt cheese sandwich. Yay!

“OMG you guys, go away! I want to shower!”

“I did not mean you should go away so someone else could take your place! Why won't you let me shower?”

At some point, De actually did get to shower. Ang in the back there, not so much.

This is the start of a pattern.

A horrible, horrible pattern.

“But I just want to be friiiieeeeeeends!”

“GRAWR NO HATE YOU!”

“But we're friends for real!”

“KIIIIIILLLLLLL.”

“De, you suck, and the only reason I'm smiling is because my face glitched like this! You suck! Booooo!”

“...Why doesn't anyone like me?”

“Mmmmm... Alone... Just the way I like it.”

Cait's face really did glitch into a smile. It almost seemed like she thought if she was aggressively cheerful, it would all turn out to be a dream.

And she slept with her eyes open on the couch, lest Archie try to get within 15 feet of her. She wouldn't have to be the least bit naked, and SHE WOULD KNOW HE WAS THERE.

Cait sort of freaked me out.

“Real men take bubble baths. Truth.”

“Yikes! Archie is naked in a room expressly designed for that purpose!”

“Heh, look all you want, baby.”

“Ew, no, I rolled Family and find you repellant.”

“I like a challenge.”

“I know I should be studying, but there's a mostly-naked upside-down SimSelf over there, and I just can't seem to focus.”

Jamie became the first Potty Accident of the Asylum. This, like the sponge bathing, will become a pattern.

Meanwhile, someone eats a cheese sandwich left out on the counter, and Ori gets a nice platinum Aspiration boost.

Sadly, Cait, in an effort to not be in the Asylum anymore, tried to burn her way out through the wall. This was Thursday morning, so at least they made it a whole day past Take One before trying to burn the place down.

“DAMMIT, THIS WAS NOT THE HOSE I WAS HOPING TO USE TODAY!”

Everyone was there, everyone was getting tragically stinky, but the fire department had been called, so I had Archie hustle off to the shower so that he'd be in a reasonably good mood when he went to work.

Okay, so Di didn't make it to the fire. Archie was in the room, so clearly she had to be elsewhere. I am just waiting for Cait to adopt the same strategy.

Jamie was the last one to the shower room, and missed out, so she decided to get fit on the Dance Sphere instead.

And then she decided on a sponge bath because, hey, why not?

Archie wanted to be juuuust a little happier before work. Jamie was only too happy to oblige.

After another Potty Incident, Jamie took another sponge bath.

There wasn't anyone in the shower. She just really, really likes the sponge bathing.

When Archie got home, Ori mopped up Jamie's Potty Incident and Archie fixed the dishwasher. He has enough Mechanical that I wasn't worried about him, and he pulled it off without a problem.

Ori started stalking Archie at this point. Not enough to pull him into the phone booth, but enough.

Meanwhile, Cait broke the shower and Di gave her hell for it. This did not do much to improve Cait's general demeanor.

Archie had to wait for Di to get out of the shower before he could fix it, and Ori was only too happy to help, if “stabbing him through the ankle with the mop” can be considered “help.”

After all the repairs were done, Archie decided he needed a little pick-me-up. Fortunately for him, he's one of the only people in the house Marina doesn't dislike.

I had the Little Bastard invite over Spider and his housemates for a little friend-making session. Lark (ladylarkrune; Yakko's World OWBC) was only too happy to get to know Archie Two.

“Where is Indy and why is he not getting me out of here? WHY?”

Jamie tried to play chess with Spider Jerusalem, forgetting that he vastly prefers Cheat to Chess. She let him get away with it more often than most do.

Ang got into the Dance Sphere with a glitchy arm.

It worked about as well as you'd expect.

Di took advantage of the free Dance Sphere and shrunk a dress size. Ah, if only it were that easy.

Archie had been getting promotions pretty steadily—three in a row—and needed a Creativity point. Apparently, Jamie will get busy with him, but won't put up with his atonal piano playing.

Notice Ori stalking again.

And if Jamie hadn't been whining about Archie's lack of musical talent, she might have made it to the potty on time.

The Cheese Sims congregate. The lack of Cheese is starting to wear on Cait, who wasn't exactly a shining ray of sunlight to start with.

In grand Asylum tradition, Cait decided to start another fire, because there's always gotta be a pyro.

Yeah, it looks like Archie started it, but it was Cait. I watched her do it.

Once again, Archie calls the fire department and gets to work on the flames before scuttling off to the shower before everyone else stops doing the Firedance.

The fire proved to be too much for Ori, who had a bit of a meltdown on the kitchen floor.

It turns out the Sim Shrink is absorbent. His mere presence sucked up a pee puddle. It may have been Jamie's. That would be my guess at this point. Anyway, the Sim Shrink is a sponge—nifty!

...On second thought, he may want to keep that a secret, lest he find himself in Jamie's dainty hand the next time she decides to give the living room a view of her sponge bath.

A nice Chicken Dance got Ori back to some basic level of sanity, although it did mean she was the last one to the bathroom, so she was stinky for a good long while.

The only one who's NOT absolutely rank in this picture is Di, because she's the one who just got OUT of the shower. Everyone else is unhappily marinating in their own funk.

Finally, after a week and two fires, De manages to make Besties with Marina.

At this point, I can only assume Marina allowed it to happen because she got boatloads of Aspiration for it too, and it was therefore a self-serving action.

It's strange, because the Marina in Riverblossom Hills is not the least bit of an aloof crankypants, unlike this one.

“Anyone ever tell you you look just like Annie Tarelle?”

“Your head is, like, three times the size of mine. I cannot look away.”

“It only gets more hypnotic the longer you look.”

Poor Ori finally manages to get a shower, and breaks out the cardboard Cheese Sandwich immediately after. I feel sort of bad, but in Take One, she rolled Fortune...

...and I got about a dozen of these.

To recap, at the end of the first week: Ori has lost her marbles; Marina won the Golden Broomstick award; De tried to make friends; Ang made poor decisions with a glitchy arm; Di avoided Archie at all costs; Jamie had some Hygiene Issues; and Cait creeped me right the hell out and became the House Pyro.

And Archie? His Simultaneous Love count stands at a whopping ZERO. With luck, this will change in Week Two, coming soon!