Controlling your anger

Self-Control

Lesson 3

Outrage: An act of violence and brutality; anger and resentment aroused by insult or injury.

Controlling Your Anger

Wrath: Strong, vengeful anger or indignation.

Fury: A person’s violent temper; intense, disordered & often destructive rage

Rage: A violent & uncontrolled anger intensely & openly displayed.

Resentment: A feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at real or imagined wrong.

What are emotions?

Emotions are feelings that include both positive and negative responses, which are triggered by what we experience.

What are some of the typical emotions we experience?Joy, anger, fear, love, hate, depression, passion, sorrow, excitement, embarrassment, thankfulness, and so forth.

How can we practice self-control regarding our emotions?By stopping, thinking about our thoughts and feelings, considering our options and then proceeding to make a right decision.

Today we will focus on the emotion of anger

and how you can practice self-control regarding anger.

Anger

Is a normal emotion. Can become

dangerous Can affect the way

you deal with others. Can affect the way

you feel about yourself.

No one ever makes you angry. You make a

conscious choice to become angry. Anger is a secondary emotion.

Anger is felt as a result of other emotions that have not been appropriately resolved.

Anger that is uncontrolled can turn to rage.

“We create our own anger by the way we think, our attitude and our choices.”

Facts About Anger

Anger Hurts

Anger that is uncontrolled has the potential of causing harm that cannot be repaired.

We experienced something that is bad or our

expectations were not met. The reasons we get angry are called

triggers. A trigger causes something to occur. A trigger could be a person, situation or

experience.

Question of the Day… Why do we get angry?

Don’t take everything so personally:

Taking the random comments of others personally.

This comes from our own insecurities. Insecurities are areas where we lack

confidence.

Feeling a little insecure?

Jumping to conclusions

Insecurities can lead to jumping to conclusions.

What do you see?

Click icon to add picture

Just like the optical illusion, we can see one

thing at first glance, but upon closer inspection, it becomes clear it is misleading.

Keep things in perspective. We sometimes make assumptions based on

insecurities.

Jumping to conclusions

[cont..]

Another anger trap lies in using abusive behavior as a means to resolve conflicts.

Conflicts are not excuses to become angry.

Work it Out!

BEHAVIOR

Feelings

Hot Thoug

hts

Triggers

Anger Sequence

There are three typical ways an angry person

responds:

To withdraw means to ignore the source of the anger.

Displacement: When angry you tend to store your anger and take it out on others or inanimate objects rather than handle your feelings in a straightforward way

Attack. When angry you tend to be verbally and physically aggressive.

No one can make you angry and no one can control your

anger for you. START controlling your anger.

Change your concept of anger. Common misconceptions:

Anger is an excuse to become physically or verbally aggressive.

Anger is a reason to withdrawal from those you care about. Anger is a reason to hurt yourself. Anger is a reason to get even.

Anger simply tells you that something is being said or done the you do not agree with.

You Are Responsible

Focus on cool thoughts.

Hot Cool

I am not going to make this a big deal

Just as long as I keep my cool, I’m in control.

I can agree to disagree

Somebody needs to slap him

This isn’t over.

Speak in a respectful tone of voice. Use “I” language to communicate your

feelings. Behave in a peaceful way. Use your positive character traits. If possible, walk away and take time out to

cool down. Talk to someone trusted.

Ways to Deal

Anger is normal. Anger can be dangerous. No one can make me angry. Anger is secondary. Conflicts are not an excuse. Feeling angry is the result of a series of steps. I can handle my anger.

What have I learned?