Kicking impostor syndrome in the head

Kicking Impostor Syndrome In The Head

Denise PaolucciDreamwidth Studios

denise@dreamwidth.orgTuesday, June 18, 13

Impostor Syndrome “...a psychological phenomenon in which

people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of

their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they

are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

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Impostor Syndrome

OH CRAP, ANY MINUTEEVERYONE'S GOING TO

FIGURE OUT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY

NO IDEAWHAT I’M DOING.

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Diagnosing your Impostor Syndrome

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“You and John and Jane are all so good at what

you do!”

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Thanks! I really enjoy working with them.

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They’re good at this.I’m just good at

pretending.

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“I always look up to you as a role model!”

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Thanks! I’m really glad I can help inspire you.

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You wouldn’t if you knew how bad at this I

really am.

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“You’re always so good at solving problems for

others!”

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Thanks! We all help each other out

whenever we can.

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Except for that one mistake. And the other one. And that really

huge one. And the time I broke everything and everybody had to clean up my mistakes and then I

spent a week hiding because I felt guilty and was sure that

everybody was going to blame me for wasting all their time and I

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(breathe.)

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Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(

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• Impossible to take pride in your work.

Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(

Tuesday, June 18, 13

• Impossible to take pride in your work.

• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.

Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(

Tuesday, June 18, 13

• Impossible to take pride in your work.

• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.

• Prevents others from having perspective too.

Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(

Tuesday, June 18, 13

• Impossible to take pride in your work.

• Impossible to admit you don’t know something.

• Prevents others from having perspective too.

• It makes you feel like crap :(

Why Impostor Syndrome Sucks :(

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Helping yourself

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0.Talk about the issue.

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1.Watch your language: some ideas are self-

reinforcing.

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Such as...

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• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers

Such as...

Tuesday, June 18, 13

• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers

• “I think”, “I don’t know if”, and other qualifiers

Such as...

Tuesday, June 18, 13

• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers

• “I think”, “I don’t know if”, and other qualifiers

• “I’m not a REAL X, but –”

Such as...

Tuesday, June 18, 13

• “Just”, “Only”, and other minimizers

• “I think”, “I don’t know if”, and other qualifiers

• “I’m not a REAL X, but –”

• “Should”

Such as...

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CC-BY-NC-SA http://www.flickr.com/photos/starfive/6729394929

(these are really hard.)

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2.Teach what you know.(Even if you think you

don’t know it.)

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3.Question corrections.

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4.Ask questions early and

often.

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5.Ask for perspective

checks from a friend.

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6.List your

accomplishments.(Own them.)

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Tuesday, June 18, 13

7.Practice accepting

compliments.

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Help others.(Especially if you’re in a

position of power.)

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0.Talk about the issue!

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1.Take questions

seriously.

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2.Make mistakes publicly.

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3.Call out others’

accomplishments, especially high-effort

ones.

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4.Document things that

“everyone knows”.

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5.Make it no big deal for people to ask for help

or admit defeat.

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Thank you!(It’s audience

participation time.)

Denise PaolucciDreamwidth Studios

denise@dreamwidth.orgTuesday, June 18, 13