12Life Improving Rules

All rules will inspire you to live a more focused and productive life.

By Tim Brownson

Rule # 1:  You’re #1You’re the most important person in the world to you. Without you, everything else in your reality ceases to exist. So be kind to yourself, ALWAYS. You’re doing the best you can with the information you have at hand. You mess up, you make mistakes and you make stupid decisions because we all do. If you don’t like other people hurling abuse or disrespecting you, don’t do it to yourself.. ever!

Rule # 2 : Shut The Duck UpWe all have a voice inside our own head and like a whiny bad tempered old duck. The weird thing is we never control of the duck. Trying to shoot him never seemed to work, he’d just bounce back tougher and more determined than ever. We had a chat with him and agreed to work together. We must take him seriously when things did get tough and he must be more supportive and easy going.

Rule # 3 : Mind Your LanguageThe language you use is absolutely critical in determining how you feel about your life. Words and phrases like ‘Have to’, ‘Must do’ ‘Got to’ ‘Need to’ are seldom useful. Replace them with ‘Want to’ ‘Would like to’ and ‘Love to’ to change your perception. You’ll see a huge benefit. After all, saying “I need another piece of cake’ is rarely accurate in my experience.

Rule # 4 : Value Your ValuesIf you don’t know what your values are, you don’t know yourself and you don’t truly know what motivates and drives you. Get to know your values because they dictate everything in your life. They are at the core of your identity and dictate what job you do, who your friends are, what you like in a partner, whether you are a Church goer or not and even whether you like 24.

Rule # 5 : Don’t Always Believe in Your BeliefsBeliefs are opinions and nothing more. If you have a belief that you aren’t good enough, old enough, wealthy enough, attractive enough or clever enough, you want to lose it and lose it fast. Beliefs like that will only hold you back. Undermine them, look for contrary evidence and ridicule them. You are good enough, as long as you believe you are.

Why am I such a loser? is not a great question, trust me. What can I do differently next time? is though. Drop the ‘why’s ’ that push you into defense mode and ask more ‘hows’, ‘who’s’ and ‘what’s’. How can I improve? What can I learn from this? Who can help me?

Rule # 6 : Ask Better Questions

Never ever tell yourself you cannot do something. By using the ‘yet’ word you change the context and the emotion of the language. “I can’t lose weight” is a whole different ball game to “I haven’t managed to lose weight yet” The latter does two things. It pushes the problem into the past where it belongs and presupposes that things can and will change in the future.

Rule # 7 : Not Yet

Take a negative belief, situation, conversation etc and try and look at it from another point of view. Come up with as many positive scenarios as possible and don’t give up until you get at least one new perspective that makes you feel better about it. Who cares about realism if you feel better? Isn’t life about feeling good? Simply ask yourself the question “What else can this mean?

Rule # 8 : Reframe It!

If you have ever been violently ill after drinking tequila there is a very good chance you now avoid said beverage. The reason is your body has developed a conditioned response that makes you feel ill even before you drink the damn stuff. If you want confidence at the drop of a hat, you can have it. If you want calmness, you can have that too. You can even have fun if you want.

Rule # 9 : Anchor That Feeling

Practice slow breathing making sure your stomach rises first and you draw the air in from the bottom. If you have control of your breathing it is impossible to be anxious. If you don’t believe me, next time you feel panicky, check in with your breath. It will be shallower and more rapid than normal and much higher in your chest. Push it back down where it belongs and you’ll start to relax accordingly.

Rule # 10 : Breathe

Think about what you have to lose if you don’t go all out for your dream. Remember that on the whole we regret more the things that we don’t do, than those we do. Promise to yourself that you’ll not sit on your talent a moment longer. Otherwise, you will not simply be doing a disservice to yourself, but also the people that will miss out on what you have to offer.

Rule # 11 : What Is The Real Cost Of Procrastination

The more successful you become the more people will see you as a resource and want you to help them. By disciplining yourself now you become better at it later. Think of people in your field that are super successful and you look up to. Do you think they have the time to say yes to everybody that wants some of their time? See Rule #1 and put yourself first from time to time.

Rule # 12 :  Just Say No!

Thank You Very MuchSompong Yusoontorn

“Art is not living. It is the use of living.” - Audre Lorde