All CONSULTANTS are Evil

Some people think all CONSULTANTS are evil. Here are some of the things they say …

They cut you open to gain understanding …

… but then fail spectacularly to truly comprehend your inner workings.

They construct detailed plans with pre-packaged abstractions ...

… but when it comes to implementation “WTF” acquires a whole new meaning.

They have a way to suck out your very best ideas in a spirit of collaboration ...

… then claim it as their own in a breathtaking “I’m a superhero” act.

They whip out their cookie cutter solutions ...

… and you fall to pieces in unexpected ways.

They make a massive song and dance to get you committed …

… then send a hapless minion to do the work (or worse, THEY turn out to be a minion).

They get lyrical about the impact of their awesome solutions ...

… but all you get is the breathtaking impact of their misguided conviction.

They enthusiastically share vast volumes of “stuff” ...

… that admirably succeeds in entangling you in inescapable perplexity.

They lead with the tunnel vision of a pre-written script ...

… and when you go off the cliff it’s your fault … well it is, isn’t it?

They demand your weight in gold ...

… and when they’re done you become just another skeleton in their closet.

All consultant are evil. Or are they?

There are some truly excellent consultants. I speak from personal experience.

They come in with highly specific knowledge and expertise. They help identify problems and create solutions. They lead you through a minefield of challenges.

Don’t let preconceptions rob you of the opportunity to ask for advice and guidance.

Look for a consultant that captures your attention, offers you valuable, engaging information and one that others endorse as a leader in the field.

Look for: “Wow, that’s impressive”.

Look for: “Aha, I get it”.

Look for: “Yippee, I win”.

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