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Parties often become angry in disputes because: They are frustrated with not being able to get what they want. They see that the other party has different interests than they do.
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Managing Difficult Conflicts
Richard A. Posthuma, J.D., Ph.D., GPHR, SPHR 2010
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• Parties often become angry in disputes because:
• They are frustrated with not being able to get what they want.
• They see that the other party has different interests than they do.
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Anger in Disputes
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• Lower regard for opponent’s interest.• Less accuracy in judging opponent’s interests.• Use of more contentious tactics.• More likely to reject settlement offers.• Less thought about the consequences of one’s • own negative actions.• Less restraint in the face of threats.• Lower levels of joint gains.• Can lead to conflict spirals.• Higher incidence of impasse.
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Negative Effects of Anger
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Positive Effects of Anger
• Indicates to the other person that the issue is very important.
• Indicates to the other person that you are less likely to make concessions.
• May induce the other party to yield when they are in a weaker position.
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Conflict Spirals
• Conflict spirals:> When parties engage in repeated contentious
communications with each other.
• Problems:> Tend to induce reciprocating contentious
communications from the other party.> Have momentum that is difficult to stop.
• Outcomes:> Impasse.> Settlements tend to be more one-sided, with
the more powerful party winning.
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Norm of Reciprocity
People tend to reciprocate similarly:
• Contentious behavior with contentious behavior (e.g., threats).
• Integrative behaviors with integrative behaviors (e.g., “How can we both get something out of this?”).
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Avoiding and Ending Conflict Spirals
• Don’t reciprocate> Can break the spiral.> May, however, erroneously signal a weakness or willingness to concede.
• GRIT (Graduated and Reciprocated Initiatives in Tension reduction)> Make and request small steps to reduce tensions.> Requires reciprocity.
• Mixed communications> Avoids sending weakness signals.
• Restrict precedents
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Graduated and Reciprocated Initiatives in Tension Reduction (GRIT)
• One party initiates de-escalation by:> Announcing a concession.> Explaining that the concession is part of a
strategy to reduce escalation.> Unilaterally executing the concession.
• Creates an opportunity for and expectation that the opponent will reciprocate with a concession.> Problem: They may just take the concession
and not reciprocate.
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• Sometimes it’s best to mix a contentious statement with a conciliatory statement.
• Examples:
• Contentious: Party 1 states, “If you persist in these demands, we’d prefer to see you in court, where we expect the judge to find in our favor.”
• Mixed: Party 2 responds, “We are prepared to let a judge decide, but we think that we will both be better off if we reach an agreement based on our interests. Tell me again what your software needs are.”
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Mixed Communications
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Labeling the Process
Sometimes, “labeling” the process is helpful.
• It changes the focus to the negotiation process instead of on the parties’ positions.
• Examples of labeling the process that you’ve been following as ineffective:> “We seem to be going back and forth and
getting nowhere.” > “We’re not going to settle things this way.
Let’s focus on how we can go about settling the problem.”
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By restricting the degree to which a settlement may set a precedent, the stakes are lower and the parties may be more willing to reach an agreement.
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Restrict Precedents
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Summary
• Sometimes conflicts are particularly difficult to resolve.
• A common reason is that anger interferes with rational thinking and behaviors.
• Often, conflict spirals develop in which the conflict gets worse.
• There are several methods for managing difficult conflicts, managing emotions, and reducing the tensions that result from conflict spirals.
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