GreenWords

Plain Language

The Basics

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

The Challenge of Obfuscation

ldquoObfuscation is the concealment of intended meaning in communication making communication confusing intentionally ambiguous and more difficult to interpretrdquo

Source Wikipedia

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

The Challenge of Obfuscation

ldquoObfuscation is the concealment of intended meaning in communication making communication confusing intentionally ambiguous and more difficult to interpretrdquo

Source Wikipedia

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Obfuscation 1974ldquoIt is a tricky problem to find the particular calibration in timing that would be appropriate to stem the acceleration in risk premiums created by falling incomes without prematurely aborting the decline in the inflation-generated risk premiumsrdquo

- Alan Greenspan testifying before Congress in 1974

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Obfuscation 2009ldquoSection 682604 is amended by revising paragraphs (c)(5) (c)(8) (f) and (g) to read as follows sect 682604 Processing the borrowers loan proceeds and counseling borrowers (c) (5) A school may not release the first installment of a Stafford loan for endorsement to a student who is enrolled in the first year of an undergraduate program of study and who has not previously received a Stafford SLS Direct Subsidized or Direct Unsubsidized loan until 30 days after the first day of the students program of study unless--(i) Except as provided in paragraph (c)(5)(ii) of this section the school in which the student is enrolled has a cohort default rate calculated under subpart M of 34 CFR part 668 of less than 10 percent for each of the three most recent fiscal years for which data are available orhelliprdquo

Source Federal Register Vol 74 No 207 Wednesday October 28 2009 Rules and Regulations page 55664

GreenWords

Unintentional ObfuscationReal Headlines (Really)

bull Cold Wave Linked to Temperaturesbull Enfield (London) Couple Slain Police Suspect

Homicidebull Red Tape Holds Up New Bridgesbull Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Chargebull New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Groupbull Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraftbull Kids Make Nutritious Snacksbull Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needybull Local High School Dropouts Cut in Halfbull Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctorsbull Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery Hundreds Dead

GreenWords

The High Cost of Murky Language

bull Wasted timebull Wasted effortbull Lost productivitybull Eroding customer loyaltybull Lost business opportunitiesbull Increased liability

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

What To Do About It

ldquoWhen you wish to instruct be brief that mens minds take in quickly what you say learn its lesson and retain it faithfully Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mindrdquo

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Not That Itrsquos Childrsquos Play

ldquoPlainness of style seems easy to imitate at first thought but when attempted nothing is more difficult

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

A Few More ObservationsAlbert Einstein If you cant explain something simply you dont

understand it well Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple and may as a rule be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone Everything should be as simple as it can be yet no simpler

William Zinsser Author ldquoOn Writing Well An InformalGuide to Writing Nonfictionrdquo

Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts

Plain Language Association International (PLAIN)

Plain language also called plain English is language that everyone in your audience can easily understand Clear writing in plain language saves time money and lives You need plain language whether youre preparing a legal brief writing a procedure designing a brochure running a business publishing a newsletter managing a department maintaining a Web site or training workers

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Obfuscation 2009ldquoSection 682604 is amended by revising paragraphs (c)(5) (c)(8) (f) and (g) to read as follows sect 682604 Processing the borrowers loan proceeds and counseling borrowers (c) (5) A school may not release the first installment of a Stafford loan for endorsement to a student who is enrolled in the first year of an undergraduate program of study and who has not previously received a Stafford SLS Direct Subsidized or Direct Unsubsidized loan until 30 days after the first day of the students program of study unless--(i) Except as provided in paragraph (c)(5)(ii) of this section the school in which the student is enrolled has a cohort default rate calculated under subpart M of 34 CFR part 668 of less than 10 percent for each of the three most recent fiscal years for which data are available orhelliprdquo

Source Federal Register Vol 74 No 207 Wednesday October 28 2009 Rules and Regulations page 55664

GreenWords

Unintentional ObfuscationReal Headlines (Really)

bull Cold Wave Linked to Temperaturesbull Enfield (London) Couple Slain Police Suspect

Homicidebull Red Tape Holds Up New Bridgesbull Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Chargebull New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Groupbull Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraftbull Kids Make Nutritious Snacksbull Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needybull Local High School Dropouts Cut in Halfbull Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctorsbull Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery Hundreds Dead

GreenWords

The High Cost of Murky Language

bull Wasted timebull Wasted effortbull Lost productivitybull Eroding customer loyaltybull Lost business opportunitiesbull Increased liability

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

What To Do About It

ldquoWhen you wish to instruct be brief that mens minds take in quickly what you say learn its lesson and retain it faithfully Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mindrdquo

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Not That Itrsquos Childrsquos Play

ldquoPlainness of style seems easy to imitate at first thought but when attempted nothing is more difficult

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

A Few More ObservationsAlbert Einstein If you cant explain something simply you dont

understand it well Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple and may as a rule be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone Everything should be as simple as it can be yet no simpler

William Zinsser Author ldquoOn Writing Well An InformalGuide to Writing Nonfictionrdquo

Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts

Plain Language Association International (PLAIN)

Plain language also called plain English is language that everyone in your audience can easily understand Clear writing in plain language saves time money and lives You need plain language whether youre preparing a legal brief writing a procedure designing a brochure running a business publishing a newsletter managing a department maintaining a Web site or training workers

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Unintentional ObfuscationReal Headlines (Really)

bull Cold Wave Linked to Temperaturesbull Enfield (London) Couple Slain Police Suspect

Homicidebull Red Tape Holds Up New Bridgesbull Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Chargebull New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Groupbull Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraftbull Kids Make Nutritious Snacksbull Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needybull Local High School Dropouts Cut in Halfbull Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctorsbull Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery Hundreds Dead

GreenWords

The High Cost of Murky Language

bull Wasted timebull Wasted effortbull Lost productivitybull Eroding customer loyaltybull Lost business opportunitiesbull Increased liability

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

What To Do About It

ldquoWhen you wish to instruct be brief that mens minds take in quickly what you say learn its lesson and retain it faithfully Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mindrdquo

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Not That Itrsquos Childrsquos Play

ldquoPlainness of style seems easy to imitate at first thought but when attempted nothing is more difficult

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

A Few More ObservationsAlbert Einstein If you cant explain something simply you dont

understand it well Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple and may as a rule be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone Everything should be as simple as it can be yet no simpler

William Zinsser Author ldquoOn Writing Well An InformalGuide to Writing Nonfictionrdquo

Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts

Plain Language Association International (PLAIN)

Plain language also called plain English is language that everyone in your audience can easily understand Clear writing in plain language saves time money and lives You need plain language whether youre preparing a legal brief writing a procedure designing a brochure running a business publishing a newsletter managing a department maintaining a Web site or training workers

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

The High Cost of Murky Language

bull Wasted timebull Wasted effortbull Lost productivitybull Eroding customer loyaltybull Lost business opportunitiesbull Increased liability

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

What To Do About It

ldquoWhen you wish to instruct be brief that mens minds take in quickly what you say learn its lesson and retain it faithfully Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mindrdquo

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Not That Itrsquos Childrsquos Play

ldquoPlainness of style seems easy to imitate at first thought but when attempted nothing is more difficult

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

A Few More ObservationsAlbert Einstein If you cant explain something simply you dont

understand it well Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple and may as a rule be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone Everything should be as simple as it can be yet no simpler

William Zinsser Author ldquoOn Writing Well An InformalGuide to Writing Nonfictionrdquo

Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts

Plain Language Association International (PLAIN)

Plain language also called plain English is language that everyone in your audience can easily understand Clear writing in plain language saves time money and lives You need plain language whether youre preparing a legal brief writing a procedure designing a brochure running a business publishing a newsletter managing a department maintaining a Web site or training workers

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

What To Do About It

ldquoWhen you wish to instruct be brief that mens minds take in quickly what you say learn its lesson and retain it faithfully Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mindrdquo

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Not That Itrsquos Childrsquos Play

ldquoPlainness of style seems easy to imitate at first thought but when attempted nothing is more difficult

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

A Few More ObservationsAlbert Einstein If you cant explain something simply you dont

understand it well Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple and may as a rule be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone Everything should be as simple as it can be yet no simpler

William Zinsser Author ldquoOn Writing Well An InformalGuide to Writing Nonfictionrdquo

Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts

Plain Language Association International (PLAIN)

Plain language also called plain English is language that everyone in your audience can easily understand Clear writing in plain language saves time money and lives You need plain language whether youre preparing a legal brief writing a procedure designing a brochure running a business publishing a newsletter managing a department maintaining a Web site or training workers

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Not That Itrsquos Childrsquos Play

ldquoPlainness of style seems easy to imitate at first thought but when attempted nothing is more difficult

- Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 ndash 43 BC)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

A Few More ObservationsAlbert Einstein If you cant explain something simply you dont

understand it well Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple and may as a rule be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone Everything should be as simple as it can be yet no simpler

William Zinsser Author ldquoOn Writing Well An InformalGuide to Writing Nonfictionrdquo

Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts

Plain Language Association International (PLAIN)

Plain language also called plain English is language that everyone in your audience can easily understand Clear writing in plain language saves time money and lives You need plain language whether youre preparing a legal brief writing a procedure designing a brochure running a business publishing a newsletter managing a department maintaining a Web site or training workers

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

A Few More ObservationsAlbert Einstein If you cant explain something simply you dont

understand it well Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple and may as a rule be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone Everything should be as simple as it can be yet no simpler

William Zinsser Author ldquoOn Writing Well An InformalGuide to Writing Nonfictionrdquo

Executives and managers at every level are prisoners of the notion that a simple style reflects a simple mind Actually a simple style is the result of hard work and hard thinking a muddled style reflects a muddled thinker or a person too dumb or too lazy to organize his thoughts

Plain Language Association International (PLAIN)

Plain language also called plain English is language that everyone in your audience can easily understand Clear writing in plain language saves time money and lives You need plain language whether youre preparing a legal brief writing a procedure designing a brochure running a business publishing a newsletter managing a department maintaining a Web site or training workers

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Plain Language

bull Speeds understanding for any audiencendash Clearndash Completendash Consistentndash Economicalndash Unambiguous

bull Emphasizes simplicity and discipline in ndash Sentence and paragraph structuresndash Vocabularyndash Graphics

bull Does not ldquodumb downrdquo complex business or technical content

bull Allows for exceptions whenever necessary

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Plain Language Is Not Always ldquoPlainrdquo

bull Does not leave out important but complex information just to make a document easier to understand

bull Includes all information the reader needs to make informed decisions

bull Requires analyzing and deciding what information readers need to make informed decisions before words sentences or paragraphs are considered

bull Uses words economically and at a level the audience can understandndash Tight sentence structuresndash Simplest practical vocabularyndash Welcoming and direct tone

bull Visually appealingbull Easy to read and looks like itrsquos meant to be read

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Business Benefits of Plain Language

bull Makes content easier to understandbull Reduces costs of correcting errorsbull Increases customer satisfactionbull Reduces support costsbull Reduces liability insurance costsbull Reduces compliance costbull Reduces costs of managing information

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Proven Results

bull In a study of jury instructions given orally plain-language improved comprehension by about 31

bull In a study of medical-consent forms plain-language revisions increased correct answers by about 91

bull In a study of 4 different legal documents plain-language techniques cut reader errors on 3 of them by about half

bull In a study of an office manual for an insurance product staff members had a fixed time to answer questions using an original and a plain-language version On the original they averaged 32 questions right on the plain-language version they averaged 66 questions right for an improvement of 106

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Getting Started with Plain Language

bull Limit use of passive voicebull Avoid ldquoinformation-freerdquo jargonbull Use 8th Grade English for most audiences and

topics ndash including post-doctoralbull Simplify your sentencesbull Limit paragraphs to one topicbull Use bullet lists instead of comma-separated

listsbull Eliminate ambiguity

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Passive vs Active Voice

bull Passive voicendash Weak and unassertivendash Used to disguise or evade accountabilityndash Usually requires long complex sentencesndash Harder for less educated readers to understandndash Appropriate when a thing and not a person is the actor

bull Active voicendash Strong and assertivendash Fixes accountabilityndash Economicalndash More readily understood regardless of the readerrsquos

education levelndash Use whenever a person is the actor

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Real-Life Examples

ActivePassive Active

Documents were cited to prove that an estimated 12 to 20 million illegal immigrants have been admitted to the United States

State Department officials estimate the number of illegal immigrants at from 12 to 20 million

Talks have been conducted on the subject of starting a worker program for the illegal immigrants

President Bush has proposed starting a [guest] worker program

It was communicated to me through the grapevine

I heard it through the grapevine

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWordsAvoid ldquoInformation-Freerdquo Jargon

(Itrsquos not always fewer words)

Instead of saying SayAt this point in time Now

At the end of the day Finally

Lets take a deeper dive Letrsquos analyze this in more detail

Monetize Make money from

Stay on-message Keep repeating the same thing

Yeah that would be great Thanks

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Use 8th Grade English

bull Broadens the audience for most materialsbull Better understood by non-native English

speakers AND most business executivesbull People with higher than 8th Grade education

rarely object to 8th Grade level materialsbull Most business text uses the same 1300 words

we learn by the 8th Gradebull Most words above 8th Grade level have 8th

Grade level synonymsbull You can still use business and technical terms

that have no 8th Grade synonyms

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Simplify Your Sentences

bull Separate compound sentences at ldquomarker pointsrdquondash Whilendash Andndash Despitendash Still

bull Every comma represents a chance to simplifybull If necessary add words to maintain clarity

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Example

Instead of saying SayldquoThe software-based flight control system is thoroughly tested in the secure facility F67-B while the aircraft itself is tested repeatedly in the air by being exposed to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 and using Cranbolton methodology despite the fact that no amount of testing can prepare for all eventualities to arise in real-life conditionsrdquo

ldquoThe software-based flight control system undergoes thorough tests at the secure facility F67-B

The aircraft itself undergoes repeated tests in the air We follow the Cranbolton methodology for these tests

These tests expose the aircraft to weather conditions specified in Doc 34B-5 However no amount of testing can prepare us for all real-life emergenciesrdquo

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

Cut Out Unnecessary Phrases

Instead of thesebull At all timesbull At the present timebull At that point in timebull Due to the fact thatbull For the purpose ofbull In connection withbull In most instances

Use thesehellipbull Alwaysbull Nowbull Thenbull Becausebull Forbull Withbull Usually

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

Limit Paragraphs to One TopicInstead of saying Say

ldquoNotice of a bid advertisement shall be published in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication at least 30 days in advance of sale If applicable the notice must identify the reservation within which the tracts to be leased are found Specific descriptions of the tracts shall be available at the office of the superintendent The complete text of the advertisement shall be mailed to each person listed on the appropriate agency mailing listrdquo

1ldquoThirty days before the sale we will publish a notice advertising bids The notice will be in at least one local newspaper and in one trade publication It will identify any reservation where the tracts to be leased are located

1We will share information about this process in two other ways We will mail the advertisement to each person on the appropriate agency mailing list We will also provide specific descriptions of the tracts at the superintendentrsquos officerdquo

Source ldquoCover Only One Topic in Each Paragraphrdquo PlainLanguagegov

GreenWords

The Challenge of AmbiguityFunny Examples

bull In a Portland ME parking garage Tenants not paid by the 15th of the month will be terminated

bull In a New Hampshire jewelry store Ears pierced while you wait

bull In a New York restaurant Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager

bull On the wall of a Baltimore estate Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law --Sisters of Mercy

bull On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners 38 years on the same spotSource Lexicon of Inconspicuously Ambiguous Recommendations (Jeff

Gray)

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

AmbiguityNot So Funny Example

1999 In US hospitals alone medical errors were responsible for 44000 to 98000 deaths annually with an estimated annual cost ranging from $17 billion to $29 billion

The principal causes system errors especially unclear instructions and prescriptions

Source ldquoTo Err Is Human Building A Safer Health Systemrdquo Institute of Medicine (IOM) in November 1999

GreenWords

Why Commas Matter

ldquoEats Shoots and Leavesrdquo

ldquoEats Shoots and Leavesrdquo

Or this

Do you think of this

GreenWords

Why Commas Matter

ldquoEats Shoots and Leavesrdquo

ldquoEats Shoots and Leavesrdquo

Or this

Do you think of this

GreenWords

Web References and Resources

bull Plain Languagegov (The first stop)bull Amazingly Simple Stuffbull Effective Communication Why Plain

Language Is the Way To Gobull Benefits of Plain Languagebull The Principles of Readabilitybull Plain Language at Work Newsletterbull Center for Plain Languagebull Answering the Critics of Plain Languagebull What Plain Language REALLY Is

GreenWords

Final Thoughts

bull Be patient Plain Language takes a few minutes to learn a lifetime to master

bull Know when to break the rules Plain Language is a standard not a creed

bull Always write with the audience in mind And YOU are NOT the audience

bull Plain Language can help you think not just write more clearly

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

For More Information

Contact

Rob BenjaminRobBenjaminGreenWordsnetTel 609 587-9069Cell 609 977-6214

GreenWords

copy GreenWords 2010

For More Information

Contact

Rob BenjaminRobBenjaminGreenWordsnetTel 609 587-9069Cell 609 977-6214