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Banish Your Inner Critic
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Denise R. Jacobs Facebook DLS Menlo Park, CA 17 September 2015
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@denisejacobs
#banishyourcritic
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Want the slides? Go here:
creativedo.se/facebookdls-ic
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Photo by Derek Kearney
Wait…What?!
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Founder + CEO, The Creative Dose http://TheCreativeDose.com/
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Upon a time… http://www.behance.net/gallery/Once-Upon-a-Time/2918365
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29 June http://www.flickr.com/photos/jblndl/3154255478/
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I was going to be a writer! Photo: Denise Jacobs
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Instead of creativity Photo from Flickr.com
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Destructivity http://www.flickr.com/photos/kevygee/3265941065/
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The voices in my head were merciless http://www.flickr.com/photos/epsos/4887528060/
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I totally freaked out
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I shouldn't be writing this I misrepresented myself
I don't know enough This should be someone else’s book
I’m going to look stupid Everyone will see that I’m a fake What if it's not good enough? What if I'm not good enough?
No…really!
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2 days http://www.flickr.com/photos/fiery-phoenix/8428079916/
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Worked non-stop https://www.flickr.com/photos/53611153@N00/5827849044/
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Pushed myself to burn-out
http://www.flickr.com/photos/44085287@N05/4052943367/
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My internal critical voices http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikeapalooza/553545517/
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Made this happen
https://www.flickr.com/photos/70938871@N05/8230432077
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Physical evidence of fear http://www.flickr.com/photos/grumpyfeline/4626401443/
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A different kind of fear Photo: Denise Jacobs
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Internalized criticisms + fears
https://www.flickr.com/photos/remoto/5313967682
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= The Inner Critic https://www.flickr.com/photos/acerriteno/3484093889/
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F.E.A.R. =
http://cdnpix.com/show/imgs/7a361666e107cd36656d5a66ea2e4e80.jpg
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Or…
https://twitter.com/Phishtitz/status/474661495935365120
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YES! (…and…) https://www.flickr.com/photos/willsan/3780293130
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The enemy of creativity
http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardwinchell/130344669/
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Creative brainwaves http://uniteunderfreedom.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Brain-waves.jpg
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Know your brainwaves
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Stress & frustration
https://www.flickr.com/photos/corneveaux/3248566797/
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Suppress generative impulses in the brain
https://www.flickr.com/photos/birthintobeing/11841180046
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Dampens creative expression http://www.flickr.com/photos/anieto2k/8156999698/
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How to ID your Inner Critic http://www.flickr.com/photos/lambdachialpha/203904103/
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Listen for internal critical talk http://brenebrown.com/2014/04/08/daring-interview-series-meet-gavin-aung/
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“OMG, I’m SO busy!”
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“I should have done more by now…” http://www.flickr.com/photos/kharied/3315558702/
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“They’ll find out I’m a fraud”
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“I don’t know enough”
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/Einstein_1921_by_F_Schmutzer.jpg
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(You can be intimidated into this, btw)
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vs. “NAILED IT!” https://www.flickr.com/photos/paul-drummond/3946893897
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Impostor Syndrome Paradox
http://www.flickr.com/photos/x1brett/2279939232/
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You will only experience impostor syndrome when you are competent and skilled.
(re-read this as many times as necessary.)
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“It needs to be FLAWLESS” http://www.flickr.com/photos/diepuppenstubensammlerin/7648792510/
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“I’ll do it tomorrow…”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
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“Really, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
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“I will do it tomorrow!”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
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Afflicts ALL of us!
http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/jimmy-fallon-the-unsinkable-legend-part-2 (@ 8:15)
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“…I don’t have what these people want to see – they want to see a funny guy! That’s not me.” - Jerry Seinfeld, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
https://www.flickr.com/photos/97477873@N00/13016287284/
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You’re not alone http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b1-baSAE8ZI/VDM3BbuiaFI/AAAAAAAABKk/l91FBGvSgkA/s1600/IMAGE_437.jpg
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In order for http://www.flickr.com/photos/designandtechnologydepartment/4771136128/
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You need brain management
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“You must be unintimidated by your own thoughts because if you [try to create] with someone looking over your shoulder, you'll never [create].” – Nikki Giovanni
https://www.flickr.com/photos/nrbelex/2247397943/
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“The goal is to manage anxiety so that our energies are used for the productive and satisfying art of creating…
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…rather than the destructive and debilitating art of self-torture. “ - Clare Warmke, Idea Revolution
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How do we…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/opensourceway/5445602998/
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Banish the Inner Critic?
https://www.flickr.com/photos/31505964@N08/4691019168/
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Eliminate “Have to/Should/Must/Ought”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mythoto/3822942678/
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Replace with “I choose/ I decide/ I will” https://www.flickr.com/photos/mstry-2525-gst/3312199285/
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Say NO to Comparisons http://www.flickr.com/photos/suvodeb/2559017400/
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(Btw, this your new mantra…) http://www.spunkysapphire.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/photo-1-e1406074730116.jpg
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Ask it questions
http://www.flickr.com/photos/opensourceway/4749432145/
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Be compassionate http://www.flickr.com/photos/wrote/2646295354/
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Reassign duty
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shavawnmarie/1326123397/
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Remember your successes http://www.flickr.com/photos/pocait/2847866615/
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(My personal version) Photo: Denise Jacobs
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“Our bodies change our minds, our minds change our behavior, and our behavior changes our outcomes.” - Amy Cuddy, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are TED talk
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Breaking the loop
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Perfectionism http://www.flickr.com/photos/diepuppenstubensammlerin/7648792510/
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“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.” ― Anne Wilson Schaef
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The real problem
http://cuttingthecheese.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/26810560251953842_ede18tng_f.jpg
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Perfectionists focus on the finished product…
https://www.flickr.com/photos/phatcontroller/3667889959/
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Rather than the process http://www.flickr.com/photos/spyndle/474122586/
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“The Best” vs “The most” https://www.flickr.com/photos/villify/10871945326
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Amen! https://twitter.com/dickelippe/status/581204005013078016/photo/1
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Fear of being judged https://www.flickr.com/photos/jdlasica/12825451433/
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Remember egocentricity
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Decouple performance from identity https://www.flickr.com/photos/krissen/6824608878
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“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”
― Dr. Maya Angelou
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Fear of failure
http://www.flickr.com/photos/laughingsquid/2717325940/
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http://culturecatch.com/files/images/after-earth.jpg
“Fear is not real. It is a product of the
thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand
me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.”
- character of Cypher Raige, After Earth
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Reframe and embrace failure http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielagama_fotografando/4029208908/
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And mistakez
https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/4498817330/
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“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” - Henry Ford
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“Being right keeps us in place. Being wrong forces us to explore.” – Steven Johnson, Where Good Ideas Come From
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Embrace the “SFD” Twitter, circa 2006
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Copy the #fail masters Photo: Denise Jacobs
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/seandreilinger/959864706/
Take steps, #FAIL; Go again!
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Satisfice https://www.flickr.com/photos/sleepyvalley/3650673328
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Be bad/make it ugly https://www.flickr.com/photos/kpwerker/6051104684
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Clear the pipes: Morning Pages https://www.flickr.com/photos/juliejordanscott/4970674253//
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Perfection ≠ Excellence
https://www.flickr.com/photos/kaldoche/4771465356
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Procrastination
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
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The trick is not self-identifying…
http://20px.com/blog/2013/09/06/a-field-guide-to-procrastinators/
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Nor administering a dose of
https://www.flickr.com/photos/116357579@N08/13178367583
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Increase the meaning/value
http://www.flickr.com/photos/eyeliam/2460475510/
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Mind Tricks https://www.flickr.com/photos/32135758@N02/5325454434/
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Don’t do it, just get ready to Photo: Denise Jacobs
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“Structured procrastination” https://www.flickr.com/photos/superamit/1043379069
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Time & Space Tricks http://www.flickr.com/photos/indraw/4857101224/
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Eliminate distractions
From “Shit Black Girls Say”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXDpfhehb6I
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Tools RescueTime.com GetConcentrating.com HeyFocus.com
Browser Extensions Firefox: LeechBlock Idderall Google Chrome: Strict Workflow StayFocusd Website Blocker
Aids for digital blocking
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Added bonus HeyFocus.com
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Airplane/Do Not Disturb mode
http://www.flickr.com/photos/pieterouwerkerk/699475144/
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Make it a Sprint
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lucamascaro/4975166968/
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Fill a Quota
https://www.flickr.com/photos/teosaurio/3392883329/
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Remember this: Photo: Denise Jacobs
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My story’s end? http://www.flickr.com/photos/sonialuna/2942020058/
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February http://www.flickr.com/photos/doug88888/3709856898/
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#FAIL https://www.flickr.com/photos/dafnecholet/5374200948
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#WINNING! http://www.flickr.com/photos/clappstar/6297835482/
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I wrote my first book! Photo: Denise Jacobs
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https://www.flickr.com/photos/thatconference/9532425040/
Which created AMAZING things for me
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Bad dreams https://www.flickr.com/photos/agroffman/4613265988
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My own inner creative child
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“The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.”
“It MUST come sometimes to ‘jam to-day’,” Alice objected.
“No, it can’t,” said the Queen. “It’s jam every OTHER day: to-day isn’t any OTHER day, you know.”
— from Through the Looking Glass & What Alice Found There, by Lewis Carroll
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“Jam” = Reward / Satisfaction https://www.flickr.com/photos/macati/2180421766
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YOU NEVER GET JAM http://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/alicepic/through-the-looking-glass/2book42.jpg
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By sharing my experience Photo: Deloria Jacobs
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Show you there is an alternative https://www.flickr.com/photos/buttersponge/4955768144
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“The creative adult is the child who survived after the world tried killing them, making them ‘grown up’….
https://www.flickr.com/photos/9422878@N08/9220121158/
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…The creative adult is the child who survived the blandness of schooling, the unhelpful words of bad teachers, and the nay-saying ways of the world.” – Ursula K. L Guin
https://www.flickr.com/photos/theburiedlife/2167001643/
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By understanding this truth
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You’ll look at yourself differently https://www.flickr.com/photos/edenpictures/3460562429
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Your imperfect, amazing ideas
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bcymet/3564484236/
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Because, after all…
https://www.flickr.com/photos/aoberg/9652158212
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The End Photo: Denise Jacobs
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Get the slides!
creativedo.se/facebookdls-ic
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THE CREATIVE DOSE A Creativity + Innovation Collective
Work Better. Create More. Create Betterness.
Creative Thinking & Problem-solving Applying an Innovation Mindset
Creative Collaboration Team Communication & Cohesion
TheCreativeDose.com @thecreativedose
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My upcoming book! Banish Your Inner Critic
DeniseJacobs.com/InnerCritic
26 Effective Techniques for Unleashing Productive Creativity
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Please take the Creative Blocks Survey
Creativedo.se/creative-blocks-survey
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slideshare.net/denisejacobs Photo used with permission: http://www.flickr.com/photos/aarronwalter/4629078087/
Connect! + Collaborate!
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Thank you! http://www.flickr.com/photos/theredproject/3302110152/