K. K. Pathak Committee K. K. Pathak Committee PresentsPresents

Some Probationers are More Equal Than Others

Warning

You are now entering Zone of Great Danger.

viewers of weak sense of humor take precautions.

Dedicated to

The Great Scientist Einsteinwho motivated us

to conduct this Highly Scientific Research

Declaration

The study is totally objective.

Any resemblance in character or event is purely

Superstitious.

We are introducing The first superhero of academic world

beatingSuperman

He manBatman

& Spiderman

Star cast

Introduction

KTP is a unique type of probationer. It pretends to be an endangered species, but in fact it is a dangerous species. In LBSNAA it is found to be endemic from the early 18th century, but it is in fact reaching epidemic proportions.

All Probationers are born same , They differ in the Academy.

Meaning

KTP is not merely a probationer , it is a phenomenon. It consists of three words.Keen:- No exact synonym for this. It depicts and distinguishes him from the merely sincere and efficient.

Type:-It implies two things-

-the person is a type (‘namoona’)

-one person is not exactly same as another.

Probationer:- But after all these, he is still a probationer and may remain so.

Source & Resource Centers

Manufacturing unit

Some are born KTP, Some acquire KTPness & Some have greatness thrust upon them.

UPSC LBSNAA Secretariat

Processing unit

Promoting unit

“K T P is like Don Juan. Everyone longs to be one, but no one likes to be called

one.”- An early KTP

Quote of the Day

Note:- Don Juan is a literary character and known to be a hedonist like Charvaka in Indian Philosophy.

HistoryOrigin:* Some experts consider God to be a KTP as he is said to have created a whole new world in a week, but in the process bungled it totally.

•Among the earliest KTPs was Moses, as he took notes of Ten Commandments when God lectured about them.

• In the Indian tradition, Hanuman is considered to be a KTP as he even jumped across the sea in his district assignment. Unfortunately, his ppt presentation is not available.

History

•Aruni•Eklavya•Arjuna•Karna

Some Great KTPs of our history:-

•Socrates•Aristotle•Plato•Kant

Kak- cheshta Vako-dhyanam Shwan-nidra tathaiv cha.Alpahari Grihtyagi iti KTP panch lakshanam.

Crow’s effort Crane’s concentration Dog’s sleep Less eating Left home

K -TaPasvi

Motto of KTP

Types of KTPs• Vertical Division

(Quantitative Approach)

– Super Keen Type Probationer(SKTP)

– Keen Type Probationer(KTP)

– Occasional Keen Type Probationer(OKTP)

• Horizontal Division (Qualitative Approach)

– KTP(Class Room) - KTP(CR)

– KTP(Physical Training) - KTP(PT)

– KTP(Extra curricular Activity) - KTP(ECA)

KTP

SKTP OKTP KTP(PT)KTP(CR)

KTP(ECA)

Note:- KTP is a generic name and it consists all types of KTPs

Horizontal Division

– KTP(Class Room) - KTP(CR)

– KTP(Extra curricular Activity) - KTP(ECA)

– KTP(Physical Training) - KTP(PT)

SKTP KTP

OKTP NKTP

Study

Study

Study

Study

Course Duration Course Duration

Course DurationCourse Duration

Graphical Presentation of K.T.P.

SKTP

KTPOKTPNKTP

Venn Diagramme of K.T.P.

Model Presentation of K.T.P.

KTP

OKTP

SKTP

NKTP

Eye Model of Probationers

Demography of Probationers

Pyramidal Model of Probationers Proportion

SKTP

KTP

OKTP

NKTP

KTP Intake of civil servants

years

Num

ber

of c

andi

date

s

19701980

19902000 2002

Note:-On such rate we expectthe total no. of KTPs will exceed total intake by 2008

Incremental rate of Growth

Palmprints of a K.T.P.

Fingerprints of a KTP

• Highly complicated ridgelines

• Patterns are Totally unidentifiable to a normal fingerprint specialist

• Surprisingly common in all KTPs

Astrological analysis

•Planets are highly centralised

•Guru(Faculty) is in Lagna(Sanlagna)

•Best Mahadasha of the career(till Probation)

•Vakri Drishti of Shani towards friends Bhava

•Mangalik Yoga (Threat in being accompanied )

Mummy of a K.T.P. as Dissected & Found

Unique stretch marks found

Dissection of a K T P of Ancient Egypt, 2000 B.C

Unique stretch marks found (result of stretching the brain)

Long nose designed to poke into every affair

Big earlobes to listen to all the gossips

C.T. Scan of a K.T.P.

Specialties found:-•A clear gap between cerebrum and cerebellum,Causing difference in work and opinion•Left and right sides are bridged with extra neurons,Called meurons•Able to use not only both parts of his brain,but one part of others also•Electrodes are unable to catch wavelengths of thinking process, shows that thoughts are either poor or incorporated

Study of the brain of K.T.P.

Medical Analysis

•Infectious Hypertension•Career related Hyper metropia•Prone to Insomnia & Amnesia•No hereditary disorder found•Having Blue Blood Corpuscles•Cardio vascular muscles have lost flexibility•Some unidentified stiffness in spine •E.C.G. shows broken heart beats

KT

TP

KT

TP

KT

TP

KT

TP

KT

KTP

*K,T& P - Only Three Proteins are found in stead of four nucleotides- G,C,A & T*Helix is too much twisted*Extraordinary Genes are found*K factor was found more dominant when Mendalian theory was implemented*Abnormal mutations

DNA analysis of KTP

PsychoanalysisDisorders Alleged Disorders FoundTypes of Probationers

SKTP Schizophrenia Rapportophrenia

KTP Phobia ACRophobia

OKTP Mania Examania

NKTP Somnambulism Somnaclassism

Note:- In a Comprehensive Lab study it was found that actually probationers have some mysterious disorders like SARS and apparently different from its symptoms.

Faces & Gestures

When smiles When poses When watches

Comparative Study

NKTP KTP

Comparative Study

NKTPa KTPa

...and we are not Gender Bias

A close scene taken from Class

Room

Sh..Sh. .Don’t Disturb! An unknown Crypto KTP is contemplating online

Exclusions

•Crypto KTPs-There are several KTPs who pretend to be NKTP.

•Note:- Actually these are Pseudo NKTPs.

•Senior KTPs-They are holding some dignified post in Academy.

•Note:- Any resemblance to Faculty is inevitable.

Comparative Study

KTP• Well Dressed

• Codified Manner

• Interrogative conversations

• Busy with & without business

Classroom, Library, P.T. Ground,

Faculties nearby

NKTP•Casually Dressed

•Informal manner

•unusual conversations

•Never busy in any business

Mal Road, Ganga Dhaba, Outside the class usually

Appearance

Availability

Routine of KTP

Morning

Evening

Night

JoHari window

You are O.K.

KTPs think they are here

KTPs are actually here

Non- KTPs here

Faculty here

You are Not O.K.

I am O.K.,

I am Not O.K.,

Pathak’s Optical Illusion Theory of KTP

Colleague’s View

Faculty’s view

Actual Size

Paradox of KTP

Rapport among faculty

Rapport among colleagues

Image sensex of a KTP

10 Commandments of KTP

• Be curious– by asking those questions for which you already know the answers

• Be courteous– by saying please as a prefix & a suffix in every statement for please’s sake

• Be cautious– by following official & unofficial code of conduct

• Be contiguous– by associating yourself to all except your colleagues

• Be competitive– by competing with everyone including the messboys

Continue…

Thou Shalt ...

10 Commandments of KTP

• Be co-operative– by making collusions without coordination and corroboration

• Be concentrated– though there is nothing to concentrate on in academy

• Be contemporary– by implementing all extra-traditional skills in behaviour

• Be commentative– by commenting on all those issues, which have become redundant

• Be commanding– by using computer commands in your conversation.

Continue…

Lacunae Recommendations• Set Tradition , but no

codified manual for KTPs• Apparently deserves

Regard,but no any Reward or Award (some people think otherwise also)

• Not a single person is the part of curriculum

• Make a detail Indian Academic KTP Code with handouts

• Declare a KTP Memorial Award & Lifetime Achievement Award

• Make them and their case study a part of syllabus

Special Recommendation for this Report• To be Accepted as thesis for Ph. D in academy• To be sent to Swedish Academy for Noble Prize• To be circulated to all successor probationers.

Further Recommendations on Possible uses of KTPsFurther Recommendations on Possible uses of KTPs• KTPs have proved their efficiency n vision especially before and

after administration. They are supposed to be National Heritage and International asset, therefore may be used – For hybridization of Academics, Management & Administration– For use of useful positions to make them useless and vice versa– To train public behaviour to politicians inside the parliament and learn

administrative behaviour from them out of Parliament

Picturesof

KTP & NKTP

After Retirement

Charges against research

During research some probationers

alleged that since this study has been

conducted by a KTP,so it is highly

bias towards KTPs.They claimed that

KTPs’ efficiency has been magnified

while NKTPs are neglected. Thus we verified their claims and found some extra ordinary caliber of NKTPs.

Some observations on NKTPsSome observations on NKTPs

• Superfast Communication Techniques– through paper-slips in class, thousand times faster than

yahoo messenger• Highly digitized Biological Clock

– sleeps as soon as class starts. Not a single irregularity found in this synchronization during whole course

• Hi-tech cooperation and Participation– sharing all rare things on NN. Few have a record of

more hits than any other popular portal• Firewall Protection System

– memo-proof and threat-protected

Keen Observations on NKTP

Spectacles with a outer screen of open eyes so that one can close his eyes without knowledge of others

Ear voice Detector so that one can sit in class without listening the voice of speaker

High-tech Outbalanced shoes so that one can do P.T. & Jogging in sleep in auto-run mode

Some highly sophisticated & suspicious equipment are found with NKTPs

Learning Styles of NKTPs

Security Issues *Where are u going today? *nowhere, after this lousy class I need sleep *but u have already slept one hour in earlier class.*So what?

*Tomorrow is a module & u have better opportunity to sleep. *Think of mall*O. K. *Be Careful! D.D. is watching!

Security Issues1. International Threat2. National 3. Reg Th4. Ind Z..z..z z z.. Z .z

Security Issues

1. International Threat2. National Threat3. Regional Threat

4. Individual Threat

Security Issues

Taught on PPT Written in Notebook NKTP-1

NKTP-2 NKTP-3

Class notes

of3

NKTPs

Scope

Our study is only concerned with the present status of a

KTP.In any case we are not concerned about his

prior history

orfuture effectiveness.

Statutory Warning!!!

KTPs are protected by and privileged under KTP (Prevention of Cruelties) Act,

1799. Any derogatory remarks about them will not be

excused.For Further References: • Civil Services (KTP Protection) Act- 1857• Offending of Probationers Act -1953

CAUTION !

Frequent Running of this Program during Probation May cause

Hang over in The bureau-craft wares of O.T.s

And alsoHang

The Neuro-softwares of Faculty.

Thankproof

K.K.Pathak R.Santanagopalan

Reproducing this presentation in any form without the author’s permission is actively encouraged.

© Copyright 2003