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How to ask!
Tips for better communication III
Tips for better communication: a 4-part series
Series 1: Building empathy
Series 2: How to listen
Series 4: How to understand messages
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
“Effective leaders ask questions instead of
giving orders.”
- Dale Carnegie
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
“The person who asks questions is leading the conversation.” This is a common
saying, which indicates that asking good questions leads to a good dialog. Asking questions helps to connect to others and better understand their perspectives. In the long run, if you want to become a
better leader, ask questions.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
There are good ways to ask questions and there are bad ways.
Here are some tips to consider to get the best outcome to your questions.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Ask questions to empower
Do not accuse or harp on someone’s
mistakes.
The other person will become
defensive and will shut him- or
herself off from you.
In contrast, empowering questions
will open up the mind, create a
trusting, high-energy atmosphere.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Instead of asking:
“Why haven’t you finished that
project yet?”, saying:
“What is going on in the project so
far?”
will put the other person in a much
safer space, which allows him or her
to share information without feeling
criticized.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Sample:
Ask questions to empower
Ask open questions
Open questions will not limit
the answer to just one word.
They initiate the expansion of
ideas and give a better
understanding of the other
person’s thoughts.
Open questions respect the
other person because it gives
them space to express their
points of view.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Ask open questions
Instead of asking: “Do you
agree on this?”, an open
question would be: “What do
you think about this?” or
“How would you proceed…?”
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Sample:
Ask instead of assume
Not asking because one already assumes the answer is a common mistake people make. Asking limiting questions that assume a certain answer should also be avoided.
Have an open mind and ask to gain a better understanding of others. Presuming things can restrain people or projects from moving forward.
E.g.: a manager may not elaborate enough on what he wants done because he assumes that his employees already know.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Ask to create a space of inclusiveness
To prevent a biased judgment, first ask a question that strives to connect as it can broaden everyone’s intellect.
Asking the other person to imagine to be in the one’s shoes helps to create awareness and may make the other person reconsider his biased feeling of the other’s actions.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Ask for boosting innovative thinking Reconsider your questions if
you are stuck or facing the same problems again and again. Repeating the same questions will give the same answers.
Ask the question “why” and “how” several times to dig deeper to the issue, that will result in a cause-and-effect-thinking.
Do not ask questions that makes the other person pick your possibilities. Maybe there is a different option that hasn’t been considered yet.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
“The right question will
encourage everybody to
think in a new way.”
- Krista Brookman
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
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