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Reasons Why Lydia Should Get the En-suite.A PowerPoint by Lydia, for Lydia,

+Reason One: I found the flat so I get dibs.

Due to the fact that I scoured the internet to find the flat we wish to pursue I find it only fair that I get dibs on the en-suite.

+Reason Two: The TV

I will be bringing with me a 42” 3D TV with a 3D Blu Ray Player with lots of films and lots of glasses. You need me more than I need you.

+Reason Three: Gender Equality

As I will be the only female in the flat I may succumb to gender inequality. I may at times feel outnumbered and alone in society and therefore by showing me the kindness of your hearts to give me the en-suite I will know that you are not segregating me because of my female-ness.

+Reason Four: Hygiene I am well aware that Luke poops 3 times a day (four at

a push). This X ed by the five days we spend in the flat equals twenty. Twenty poo’s. Then there’s Aidan’s poo’s to add to this but I am yet to discover how many he does. It would be inhumane to let a female exist in such habitats. Poos

LukeAidanLydia

+Reason Five: Periods

Need I say more?

+Reason Six: Food

Every weekend my nana has sent my sisters up with a care package including biscuits, cakes, drinks and sweets. If we live together in harmony (AKA I get my own loo) you will be welcome to the care package which, may not sound too exciting now but when we are a few weeks into poverty you’ll be wishing you had a jaffa cake or two.

+Reason Seven: Because I want/need it.

I want the en-suite OK. I want to be able to come home from a night out smelling like vodka and sick and garlic and be able to jump in the shower without you lot mocking me the next day for having a takeaway carton stuck to my face.

+Reason Eight: You guys need more space.

In theory, the bathroom will be much bigger than the en-suite giving you guys so much more room to maneuver and with two people sharing it this can only be a good thing. I’m really just helping you guys out.

+Reason Nine: Luke’s bath bombs.

If Luke gets the en-suite he will be presented with a shower for a whole year. That means not a single lush bath bomb will be used. It doesn't’t have to be this way, my friend. Take the bathroom and have the chance to shower and bathe!!

+Reason Ten: I deserve it after this.

I have registered the interest in the en-suite first. I have made this PowerPoint like an eight year old for a puppy and so I deserve it after all this. If I don’t get the en-suite I will ensure that for every period, poop, drunken accident, bath bomb, food package, gender equality issue, space problem and lack of TV you will have a terrible time in uni.

Lots of love from Lydia

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Also I will provide Netflix.

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