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BUILDS HAPPY HOMESwomansera.comVol 44, Issue No. 1107

NOVEMBER 2020

2014

13 Artic

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BRING HOME THESPARKLEBY RAMA

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ORGASM DURINGPREGNANCY: IT’SFINEBY DEEPSHIKHA PANDEY

FINANCIAL NAVIGATIONTHROUGH COVIDBY ADITI MAHESHWARI

GRANDCELEBRATIONBY RAJIV BAKSHI

28 REDISCOVERYOURSELFBY RICHA GOEL

34 HIGH ON HANDSANITIZER BY M. VINAYAK

35 TERTIARY SEX ORGANBY ANKITA SRIVASTAVA

40 TOGETHER FOREVERBY SNEHA SUNDARESAN

44 WHAT TO EXPECT THEFIRST TIME YOU HAVE SEXBY A. KARTIKEYAN

55 BETTER DEALINGWITH UNCERTAINTYBY SHALINI BHARDWAJ

56 HAPPINESS VSSATISFACTIONBY HIMSHIKHA SHUKLA

60 GUIDE TO AHEALTHY DIETBY ADITI GUPTA

63 BANGLESBY DR VEENA MOHAN ADIGE

68 MEET SNIGDHA RAVITHE NEW AGEINFLUENCERBY DIPASHA CHAUDHARY

94 BOOST BRAIN HEALTHBY MADAN LAL

100 MAKING LOVE INOLDER AGE COULD MAKEYOU HAPPIER ANDHEALTHIERBY HIMSHIKHA SHUKLA

102 REJUVENATE THELOST INTIMACYBY SUSHILA

108 SUICIDE AND THEPANDEMIC: ASOCIOLOGICALPERSPECTIVEBY RACHNA CHHOKAR

51 72

IMMUNITY BOOSTING CULINARY SCIENCE● Immunity Boosting Ladoos

● Immunity Boosting Cooking

● Bikaneri Barfi

● Malai Ladoo

● Kalakand

● Kesariya Peda

● Calzone Pizza

● Corn Pizza

● Gujratri Mixture

● Diet Mixture

● Cornflakes MixtureSTOPCOMPARINGYOUR CHILD TOOTHERSBY DR. RUMY AGARWAL Cookery

LIFE STYLE OFWORKING WO ‘MEN’BY SHANTA RANGASWAMY

The names of characters used in allfiction and semi-fiction articles arefictitious.

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112 THE INCIDENT I CANNOT FORGET

114 AS YOU SAY

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Features46 BEYONDIMAGINATION BY KUMUD BHATNAGAR

64 SUJOY’S FATEBY SHINY HOQUE

78 THE COCONUTBLOCKBY SUDHA VISHWANATHAN

88 SINDHU’S WORLD BY GEETA KASHYAP

106 ZINDAGI KASAFAR…BY INDU DURGADAS

TRENDY TODDLER!

41 NEW LAUNCHES83 YOUR BODY84 STYLISH EVERYDAY!87 LIKE A LIGHTHOUSE

SHE WILL FOREVER GLOW – POEM

97 PERSONAL PROBLEMS99 MY FAMILY,

MY FRIENDS AND ME…111 KITCHEN QUERIES112 CLASSIFIEDS

EXPLORE THE RANGE OF CLUTCHES

THE SECRETSOUT: BEJEWELED

EDITORIAL

Amid the coronavirus and festival season, Biharpolitics is looking forward for the greatestcelebration of democracy, i.e. Elections. Election

polls in Bihar are center of attraction as anti-incumbency,the return of ‘Jungle Raj’, economic hardships in coronatimes and widespread unemployment — there are manyissues and the priorities vary from constituency toconstituency and also depending on the voter’s historicalinclination, often based oncaste lines.

For citizens of Bihar, issues,for example, unemploymentand corruption have taken theback seat, with the discussionsrotating around personalities:would Chief Minister NitishKumar hold his seat; will theBJP have its very own ChiefMinister without precedentfor the State; and is itworkable for Lok JanshaktiParty (LJP) boss ChiragPaswan to make or blemishthe possibilities of Mr.Kumar?

Forget aboutunemployment or massmigration in search oflivelihood... these have beengoing on for years and yearsand will continue, irrespectiveof which party comes topower. But people are moreinterested in knowingwhether Mr. Kumar will againbe the Chief Minister orChirag Paswan could be aspoiler for him. Whereassomething that draws ourconcern is that, in Bihar, wedon’t see anyone wearing a mask or a helmet during thecampaign, not even the politicians. Is coronavirus gonefrom Bihar?

WOMEN SAFETY IN INDIAWe know that our society is rigid, and it is difficult to

change the mind of the people. The government shouldintroduce more welfare schemes for women so thatthey can praise sensitization process. The country isdeeply sorry for women’s safety. Criticism is beingcriticized worldwide for the disposal, handling ofwomen’s safety measures, and handling of casesrelated to violence against women in India.

Now, this epidemic has even made the issue worse.

During the first four phases of the COVID-19-relatedlockdown, Indian women reported more domesticviolence complaints than recorded in the same period inthe previous 10 years. Moreover, mental healthoutcomes increase risk of depression in women, post-traumatic stress disorder, and risk of substance abuse,etc. It is this mindset that India and the world — sexualviolence is rampant in societies across the world —need to destroy to fight sexual violence. Putting theonus on women to prevent sexual violence is not justabsurd but dangerous.

Warning girls and women to not go out alone or todress and behave in a culturallyappropriate, male-mandatedway cannot prevent sexualviolence. Rather, we need to dininto boys and men (as well aswomen) that aggression is notmasculinity and being macho isnot “cool.” It is only by tacklingmisogynistic mindsets amongmen and women anddismantling the patriarchalaspects of the sanskar thatpeople uphold that sexualviolence can be tackled.

POLLUTIONWORSENS CAPITAL’S AIR

As pollution spiked, capitalDelhi is blanketed in smog, andthe citizens are breathing in“very poor” air, evenhazardous in some places. Noone is even taking stress toaddress the same concern tosolve this global challenge ofclimate change. Decreasing airquality of the capital havealready grabbed the attentionof doctors as we are goingthrough a pandemic. Doctorshave already noted a jump in

respiratory problems among residents. No matter who ever is responsible for this... whether

it’s climax of Dusshera or the upcoming Diwali or even ifwe blame the farmers for burning stubble in somestates. It’s not going to help anyone in any way. The airis already harmful enough for people’s lungs,environmentalists have warned as lungs disease will bean addition to the ongoing pandemic.

The Delhi government has introduced a number ofmeasures under the 'Yuddh. Pradushan ke Viruddh' anti-pollution campaign. The problem of pollution is biggerthan politics and party affiliations. Tackling it iseveryone’s responsibility.

[email protected]

Woman’s Era ● November 2020 5

BIHAR ELECTIONS 2020

Cartoon: Mika Azizi

CinePlexNeha Kakkar Announces WeddingDate, Nehu Da Vyah On 21st OctoberWith Rohanpreet Singh

Neha Kakkar has announcedher wedding withRohanpreet Singh around a

week back. She announced herengagement with theMujhseShadiKaroge contestant.Amidst the news of her wedding,Neha Kakkar has revealed thesecret behind ‘Nehu Da Vyah’ – itis her new single. The song, Nehaand Rohanpreet’s firstcollaboration, will be out onOctober 21. She shared the coverart on her Instagram page, whichcredits her as the composer andlyricist as well.

Salman Khan And Pooja Bhatt ComeForward To Offer Financial Help To FaraazKhan Who’s Battling For Life In ICU

The Fareb game actor FaraazKhan is battling for his life inthe ICU. His medical bills

have exceeded his expectationsand he is unable to cope with themedical expenses. That’s whenthe Bigg Boss 14 host Salman Khancame forward to offer help. Hehas offered financial help to theactor and along with SalmanKhan, Mahesh Bhatt’s daughterPooja Bhatt has also comeforward. Faraaz Khan wasreported to be in critical conditiondue to a chest infection. For histreatment, his brother and MereDad Ki Dulhan actor FahmaanKhan asked for financial help andset up a fundraising platform asthey wanted Rs. 25 lakhs for thetreatment.

From Bollywood...

Niti Taylor Shows Off Her Skills WithHer ‘PehliRasoi’ Post-Wedding,Flaunts Chooda And Newly-Bridal Glow

Amrita Rao Pregnant With Her First Baby,Talks About The Pampering She ReceivesFrom Husband RJ AnmolA

fter Anushka Sharma andKareena Kapoor Khanannounced their

pregnancy last month. And soonafter, there was news that evenVivah actress Amrita Rao is alsopregnant with her first baby. TheMain Hoon Na actress got marriedto RJ Anmol in 2016 and has beenhappily married for the past 4years. Now, they didn’t make anyofficial announcement of thepregnancy but recently AmritaRao was seen leaving a hospitaland her baby bump was clearlyvisible. In a recent interview withMumbai Mirror, Amrita Rao talkedabout her pregnancy and thepampering she is getting from herhusband Anmol. She said, “I guessit takes your child to be in front ofyou to believe what nature cando.” She even spoke that she isnot getting cravings and enjoyingthis new phase, “Even the babyrealizes it and is not verydemanding. There are no specialcravings, I eat whatever I wantand the baby seems to be happywith it.”

TV actress Niti Taylor gotengaged to LieutenantBeau, ParikshitBawa in a

grand ceremony in Delhi on 12August 2019. The lovebirds, Nitiand Parikshit went to schooltogether and dated only for ashort period. Niti had benefited asmuch as possible from herromance stage before she set outon a venture as MrsBawa withParikshit. And now in an interviewwith ETimes, she officiallyconfirmed her wedding with herfiancé, Parikshit Bawa on August13, 2020, in an intimate ceremonyat a Gurudwara in Gurgaon.

Anita Hassanandani hasgiven very good news lastweek about her

pregnancy. She announced thepregnancy news with a beautifulvideo and later also shared herhusband Rohit Reddy’s reactionto the news. Now, she has onceagain talked about her decision toconceive at this age and hownatural it was. She has shunnedall those stereotypes around thebiological clock for women’sbodies and made it pretty clearthat it is normal to conceive at alater age and age is nothing but anumber.

Pregnant Anita HassanandaniShares Her Experience OfConceiving Naturally At 39: Details

After Virat Kohli-Anushka Sharma, ZaheerKhan And Sagarika Ghatge Pregnant WithFirst Child: Reports

2020 is the year that manystars and celebrities havecome forward to share the

great news. While so many of ourstars had an intimate weddingwith their loved ones, othersannounced the welcome of a newone in their family. The firstamong them was none other thanAnushka Sharma and Virat Kohli.Soon after that, our gorgeous andglamour begum of BollywoodKareena Kapoor Khan and Saif AliKhan announced their pregnancy.And there were many other starsas well that announced theirpregnancy. Now, we haveanother cricketer-actress couplethat is reportedly expecting theirfirst baby. And it is none otherthan cricketer Zaheer Khan andactress Sagarika Ghatge.

The world of glamour andfame is not an easy one.Once you enter into it, it’s

like quicksand that keepsdragging you further deeperinside. However, Bigg Boss fameactress Sana Khan has managedto find an escape and get herselfout from the chaps of showbiz.She took to her Instagramyesterday to announce to theworld that she has quit showbizand is ready to take on a morespiritual journey. Sana Khanrevealed that she has realizedthat the main purpose of humanlife is not just to attain fame andwealth. It is much bigger thanthat. She wants to dedicate therest of her life to serving theneedy and helpless so that shecan serve humanity.

Alot has been going aroundin our community that hasforced people to open up

about mental health and well-being. There have been numerouspeople opening up about theirstate of mind to people. Oneamong them is Aamir Khan’sdaughter Ira Khan. Recently, sheopened up about being clinicallydepressed for four years. Shewrote a long post with a videothat had her talking about hermental health. Recently, ShahrukhKhan’s daughter Suhana Khan alsoshared her displeasure of gettingtrolled for her looks. She hadstated a post that talked aboutcolorism and how it should end.She went on to state that she hasbeen a victim of trolling becauseof her color. People have beencalling her ugly because of thesame and there have been daysthat it affects her mental well-being.

Aamir Khan’s Daughter Ira Khan Reveals“Clinically Depressed For Four Years”;Suhana Khan’s Post Also Grabs Attention

Bigg Boss Fame Sana Khan Quits TheGlamor World, Deletes All Her Sexy PhotosFrom Social Media As She Takes OnReligious Path

Payal Ghosh Slams Richa Chadha ForCelebrating Her Apology As Victory, “IApologized To Make Her Feel Better”

Payal Ghosh has gottenherself into a bit of a scuffleafter she came out about

getting raped by the filmmakerAnurag Kashyap. While she hasfiled a case against the director,actress Richa Chadha had filed adefamation suit against PayalGhosh. This happened becausePayal took Richa Chadha’s nameas one of the actresses whowould do things for him to getgood roles. This didn’t go downtoo well with Richa Chadha andshe went on to give a court orderasking for an unconditionalapology from Payal Ghosh.

After nearly 30 days of legalcustody, RheaChakraborty was

conceded bail by the BombayHigh Court. Rhea and her siblingShowik were arrested by theNarcotics Control Bureau (NCB)in the medications interfaceassociated with the SushantSingh Rajput demise case. WhileRhea was conceded bail, hersibling Showik’s bail was denied.Presently, Rhea’s mom wasoverwhelmed with feeling whenshe discovered Rhea was allowedbail. She addressed how Rheawould mend from this, yet saidshe is a warrior.

After Rhea’s Bail, Her Mother Asks, ‘HowWill She Heal From This?’; Shares ‘Rhea’sFather Was On The Verge Of Collapse’

Pankaj Tripathi has set newbars in acting with his role asKaleen Bhaiya or

Akhandanand Tripathi in therecently released show Mirzapurseason 2. He has done some reallycritically acclaimed roles in showsand movies like Gunjan, SacredGames, Gangs of Wasseypur andmany more. So, what would adaughter say if she saw her fatherdoing such a role? In aconversation with Spotboye,Pankaj Tripathi revealed how hisdaughter reacts to the roles heplays in the movies or web-series’.The entertainment portalquoted him saying, “Reactions tohaache hi aate hai, hala ki who zyadadekhti nahi hai. Usko Korean seriesaur films zyada pasand aate hai.Meri filmein bhi dekhti hai aur dekhke boldeti hai kuch jab mann aatahai toh. Criticize bhi kardeti ha,boldeti hai aapne aacha nahi kiyayaha.”

We

Kiara Advani seems to be one of themost popular actresses in Bollywoodright now. She has been in the

industry for a long and gained a lot oflimelight for her masturbation scene in theNetflix original Lust Stories. However, thisscene where she can be seen using a vibratorreceived a lot of backlashes as well. On NoFilter with Neha, Kiara said that Karan Joharwould guide them and tell them what to do.She then talked about the vibrator scene, forwhich she had to do some research as shedid not have experience with the device.“But, of course, because it was this vibratorscene, I had really no experience with thisdevice. I needed to Google it. Thanks tosome of the films like Ugly Truth and one ortwo other films that have scenes like this, Iwas aware of how an insinuation scene likethis would look. One, two, three and actionand let’s just like pretend and act it out, thebest we can,” she said.

Pankaj Tripathi Talks About His Daughter’sReaction to His Work and Roles: Tells MeI’ve Not Done Good

Kiara Advani Talks About Using Vibrator ForKaran Johar’s Lust Stories “Had NoExperience And Google Helped”

Grand CelebrationDeepavali in Palatine. By Rajiv Bakshi

Indian festivals are known for itshustle and bustle.Deepavali is afour to five day long festival of

lights celebrated by Hindus, Sikhs,Jains and Buddhists.It symbolisesthe victory of light over darkness . Itis only when one is not in ones owncountry, the person starts longingto go to his home city. This was thetime when I was working in myoffice and I always used to combineone or two casual leaves to be athome during the day of Deepavali.

There is not much excitement inthe Indian festivals like Holi,KrishnaJanmashtami , Raksha Bandhan,Karva Chauth when one is in USA .There is not much rush in themarket or in sweet shops as I usedto witness this in Jallandhar andLudhiana where I studied andworked. I had to go to a sweet shopin Hoffman Estates in , IL , USA twotimes to get 'Meethi Mathi ' onKarva Chauth , a festival mostsacred to the people in North India.The sweet owner , a Gujrati saidthat there was not enough demandfor this. I could find the reasonwhen I found that one Meethi Mathicost $4 per piece in comparison toA300 per kg in my city.

Since on most occasions Diwalifalls on a working day or a week day, the Indians who stay in USA preferto go to Mandir or a Gurudwara ifthere is one near their vicinity.However I found that there is noexchange of gifts with the relativesor the immediate neighbours. Noone even knows the name of their

neighbour except my 3 year oldgranddaughter Sugandha who callsthe 80 years old Japanese lady andthe next door neighbour as 'prettyaunt'.

CELEBRATION BEFOREFESTIVAL

My colleague had given me theaddress of his daughter Preeti Virdiwho stayed in the same suburb ofChicago where my son stayed. Itwas only in the last few days of ourreturn to India , we came in contactwith this family from Ludhiana . MsVirdi was an active member of theIndian community and since herparents had also come to visit her,she took initiative to have a BlockParty in her nearby park near the

Palatine Gurudwara. One day beforethe festival , around 10 families fromIndia made a programme to meetand introduce to each other. Mostof the Indians were either fromChennai , Bangalore or Trivandrumand they could not understand thePunjabi jokes cracked by the Virdifamily. Preeti had planned to have agame of Bingo and Tambola for thekids who were in the age group of 1to 15 . None of the kids spoke eitherin Hindi or Punjabi . It was AmericanEnglish all the way for kids who hadAmerican citizenship while most ofthe Indian parents were stillstruggling to keep their H 1 statussafe , while waiting for the GreenCard for more than 10 years .

Since it was a contributory party,the left over food was packed andshared among the newly createdWhat's App members. On theDeepavali day they met in PalatineGurudwara and all of them had 10gift packets to be shared among theIndian friends. All of them had donetheir shopping from Target andWalmart . The people from Southernstates were going to a Gurudwarafor the first time in life and theywere delighted to be part of sharingthe Punjabi' Langar ' with around500 guests. What they relished wereDal Makhni, Paneer, Kadhi Chawland Kheer. What I relished being thesenior most member was 10separate gifts from all the groupmembers. A special gift from PreetiVirdi too because I was her Dadscolleague in Guwahati.

ON THE DEEPAVALIDAY THEY MET INPALATINE GURUDWARAAND ALL OF THEM HAD10 GIFT PACKETS TO BESHARED AMONG THEINDIAN FRIENDS. ALLOF THEM HAD DONETHEIR SHOPPING FROMTARGET ANDWALMART. THE PEOPLEFROM SOUTHERNSTATES WERE GOING TOA GURUDWARA FORTHE FIRST TIME IN LIFE . We

Life Style of Working Wo‘men’Working women and family life. By Shanta Rangaswamy

She wakes up before themorning walkers of thelocality; she can cook Italian to

Chinese dish, North Indian to SouthIndian cuisine. She manages toattend the meeting with a businesssuit and a family wedding with abeautiful traditional saree and gajraon her hair. We all know ‘her’, thesuperwoman of the family whoconverts a ‘house’ into ‘home’ andyet does not let her professionalcareer discontinue.

Women are the backbone ofevery society. The representation ofwomen in labor force has beenconsistently increasing over thetime, but at the same time, theexpectations of the society from awoman as a prescribed gender roleremains the same, as it used to befew decades back.

Usually structural barriers andcultural restrictions are the twomajor factors that contribute to thisgender gap.

Though in the recent years, thereis an increase in women pursuinghigher education globally, a gendergap in employment rate remains thesame among the highly educatedwomen and men in few countries.An unpaid care givingresponsibilities can prevent a paidemployment opportunity, and thiswork disproportionately falls onwomen. Therefore, women who aredetermined to have a work life aredoubly jeopardized. Whether to beconventional to the gender role andbe a favourite daughter-in-law or tobe ambitious and work for thatpromotion, is the kind of conflictworking women face every day.

Women play an important role inthe economic development of thecountry and her contribution is asequal to as her male counterparts.Without an active participation of awoman in various national, social,economic and political activities, theprogress of any country would bestagnant. However, women atlarge, continue to face noteworthyworries. The rate of malnutrition isvery high among adolescent girlsand pregnant and lactating womenin India, with repercussions forchildren's health. Violenceagainst women, especiallydomestic violence, hasbeen on the rise in India.National data collectionagencies accept that,statistics seriouslyunderstate women'scontribution as workers.

women also have started to go outand choose careers. Though Indianwomen have also started workingoutside their homes, there are stillseveral issues and challenges thatworking women face today. Today,the working and social scenario outthere is far different from what itused to be some 25-30 years ago.Advances in technology, evolvingwork opportunities and role offamily for women in India havechanged her contribution to thebusiness environment of 21stcentury. The financial demands and

expectations for Indian families arerising day by day. Higher cost ofliving, increasing expenses oneducation of children, increasingcost of housing properties in Indiaforce every family member to lookfor ways and means of increasinghousehold income. As a result,women in India, who were knownas homemakers, most of the times,are forced to go for jobs and takethe challenges that wereconsidered only suitable for mensuch as working in night shifts in callcentres or BPOs.

Indian women : excellentcontributors

Today women are activelyparticipating and giving their best inall the male-dominated fields likesports, medicine, military, law,academics, politics, e commerce,bank, and top-level corporatepositions. This has led to a scenariowhere working women are not ableto spend time in household worksas she used to, few decades back.They take up a full-time job and alsohandle all household activities thatthey would have handled as ahomemaker. Though workingwomen handle their professionallife challenges at work place,personnel life of managinghousehold work; handling children,family, cooking, social

Conventionally,Indian women havebeen only excellenthome makers, but in21st century, because ofhigher education, betterawareness of themselvesand the increasing financialexpectations of the family,

THOUGH INDIANWOMEN HAVE ALSOSTARTED WORKINGOUTSIDE THEIR HOMES,THERE ARE STILLSEVERAL ISSUES ANDCHALLENGES THATWORKING WOMENFACE TODAY. TODAY,THE WORKING ANDSOCIAL SCENARIO OUTTHERE IS FARDIFFERENT FROM WHATIT USED TO BE SOME 25-30 YEARS AGO.ADVANCES INTECHNOLOGY.

working women and it directlyaffects her family. Waking up early,ignoring her health issues and getall the stuffs ready for children andher husband is big practicalchallenge. Women in joint familieshave another level of responsibilityand stress to be managed. Many ofus have would have seen workingwomen in their holidays stressingabout their old in-laws and parents,polishing finger-nails while takingurgent office calls, and callingparents during the lunch hours ofoffice. Being sandwiched betweenoffice and home liabilities theyactually get no time for self-care,forget about leisure. They areunable to share their feelings withanyone because they feel that noone will or want to understand

them. Years pass by, but they rarelyget a moment to enjoy with nostress. Under this kind ofpsychological pressure, they are leftwith only two options: either to giveup the job or to accept thedepression as a part of theirworking life. Apparently, in spite ofexecuting all the challengesefficiently, men are still consideredas the primary bread winner andonly decision makers of the family.

Balancing personal andprofessional space

It’s a huge challenge for aworking woman to maintain abalance between her family andwork. She has the responsibility tofulfil the expectations of all thefamily members and also officecommitments. In India, the careerand professional aspirations are stillconsidered as secondary forwomen. In most of the families,there is a lack of emotional andmoral support given to the workingwomen. And at the same time,there are many official expectationsand deadlines that women have tofulfil to continue their job. Thesedual roles, and her own expectationto become perfect in all tasks, leadsto more stress in her day to day life.

Jim Bird, CEO ofworklifebalance.com, had oncementioned, work life balance doesnot mean equal balance betweenprofessional and personal life. But,it is a careful synchronization of anindividual’s varied pursuits that mayinclude family, work, leisure, socialobligations, health career andspirituality. While some of thepursuits need greater attention,others may require lesser focus.Striking a fine balance byprioritizing these human quests willresult in work life balance.

In spite of all the progress,women are at scarce among seniorleaders in every field. Very fewwomen are CEOs of the world’slargest corporations. As per May2019 Fortune list, only 33 women(6.6%) were CEOs of Fortune 500companies. Women account for lessthan a third (29%) of senior roles

16 Woman’s Era ● November 2020

responsibilities are still consideredas the duty of a women only. Due tosuch multitasking efforts of woman,increased stress becomes by-product for her.

In a study by Colbech, it wasfound that working women get veryless personal time and space.Insomnia and depression are thetwo major health issues that comeas a package for a working woman.Most of the time they are jugglingbetween tasks and responsibilitiesof managing group meetings, childcare and domestic responsibilities.Every working women has tomaintain a balance between theircareer and family if they want toachieve independence and successin their lives. In this hassle, she getrestless. Women try to increase theworking power in their lives whichslowly leads to insufficient sleep orlack of sleep. They gradually startfeeling frustrated, helpless andsometime feel isolated by thesociety. Because of all this, theyhave to face many emotional andpsychological problems. Most ofthe times, they have to bring theirwork at home also and it cuts fewmore hours of sleep. So on anaverage, a woman would have lost 2hours of sleep per day and up to 14hours sleep per week. It is not justabout less sleep, but this type oflifestyle creates lot of stress on

IT’S A HUGECHALLENGE FOR AWORKING WOMAN TOMAINTAIN A BALANCEBETWEEN HER FAMILYAND WORK. SHE HASTHE RESPONSIBILITY TOFULFIL THEEXPECTATIONS OF ALLTHE FAMILY MEMBERSAND ALSO OFFICECOMMITMENTS.

globally. When she achieves thattop position in an organization,again it is much difficult for womento work with a male dominatedperspective. Working in suchenvironment certainly adds to morestress on women than men. Thesetypes of problems make womenless eager to progress in theircareer. It has been observed that asthe family responsibility expands,the working women have to eitherchange the job, select part time jobor leave the job.

Being a super womanWhile working women are able

to successfully manage,accommodate and adjust to thesituation, most of them suffer fromguilt also. Indra Nooyi (CEO ofPepsico) had once mentioned in aforum, “We pretend to have it all.We pretend to have it all”. Whatmost of us forget is, no one can beperfect in all the roles they areplaying. If one desires to be aperfect mother, she needs to let goher dream of growing high in theladder of office. We all havelimitations, right? The guilt will onlyimpact our mental health and makeus less productive. We need to letgo optional roles in life. Now, whichrole is ‘Optional’ needs to beidentified individually. Same rulewill not fit all. There is nothingwrong in choosing a career andbeing ambitious, also there isnothing wrong in prioritizing thefamily over the work either.Therefore, all women need to do isletting go the fear and guilt. Awoman should stop dreaming ofbeing a ‘Superwomen’ and take lifeas it comes calmly. But at the sametime, women should not misuse ortake advantage of being a paid‘working women’. It is said, ’Allwomen are working women, only afew get paid’.

Then, there comes a stage in herlife, when she suffers from ENS, anEmpty Nest Syndrome, when awoman is all alone though she has afamily which she herself hasnurtured by putting her young andvaluable years of life. Maybe

because now the youngergeneration have a life of their own(with little or no space for her).Thenshe may regret for not nurturing herown hobbies and ambitions and notbeing a ‘paid working women’ in theearly years. What both men andwomen need to understand is, itvery challenging and strenuous tobe an ‘Unpaid home maker’ than becalled as a ‘working women’. Allsaid, women just cannot blame thesystem for the stress generated outof work. Everything in life comeswith a price. Work at home oroutside definitely demands andexpects commitment. Most of thetime, outdoor job is by choice, notjust by force or need. So, she needsto be aware that, once she acceptsa role, a fair justification is a must.

The practice and culture ofdelegating the work equally amongall the family members at home isthe need of an hour, whether awoman of the house is workingoutside or not. May be, at the endof the day, first, a paid ‘workingwomen’ need to understand andrespect an unpaid ‘workingwomen’.

The world would be a betterplace to live, if all men are feminist.Lastly, why do discuss, write, read,research so much about ‘workingwomen’ and not ‘working men’?!‘Working men’ are supposed to beworking only outside the house but‘working women’ are supposed tobe working outside and inside thehouse and most of the times sevendays a week. May be somethingneed to be strongly changed at thecore, in the way we bring up oursons and daughters. A daughterborn in a family should becelebrated, not just the other wayround. Sons need to be taught tocook and do household chores fromthe early age, as we do it fordaughters.

They must respect females of allage group, be it in the form ofgrandmother, mother, sisters, wife,daughters, school/college mates, inlaws or colleagues at work, and notjust in the form of ‘Lakshmi’,‘Saraswathi’ and ‘Durga’. They needto be made aware at an early agethat the having a life partner is notthe ticket to freedom fromhousehold chores andresponsibilities. Daughters need tobe taught, that it is okay if youcannot manage both house andwork equally well. It is not only herduty to look after kitchen andchildren.

Boys are not superior justbecause they are ‘boys’ and girls arenot to be made feel inferior justbecause they are ‘girls.’ In a family,both need to be equally responsibleto all the good and all the not sogood happenings. This kind ofupbringing for next few generationsby everybody in the society mayprobably change the scenarios for aworking woman.

Indra Nooyi (CEO of Pepsico)

WHILE WORKINGWOMEN ARE ABLE TOSUCCESSFULLYMANAGE,ACCOMMODATE ANDADJUST TO THESITUATION, MOST OFTHEM SUFFER FROMGUILT ALSO. INDRANOOYI (CEO OFPEPSICO) HAD ONCEMENTIONED IN AFORUM, “WE PRETENDTO HAVE IT ALL.

We


Covid -19 has a higher impact onthe mortality rate of men’ -made headlines across the

globe. But thoughts are hardly givenon the physical burden and mentalexhaustion faced by Women.

Various researches have revealedthat it doesn’t matter whether awoman is a home maker, workingfrom home or working outside thehome, she is typically spending atleast extra 2-3 hours on child andfamily care apart from householdchores.

Pandemic impacting thebalancing act

Juggling the role of a lovingmother, doted wife and profession,females felt the impact of suddenchange in lifestyles due to Covid-19.Studies suggest woman is doing morein terms of household chores andchild care.

Runisha, a new mom, realized theimportance of being extra carefulabout the hygiene of the babyproducts. She says sanitizing handsbefore touching the baby becamemore important than ever.

But after living in pandemic for 6months, we all will agree that stayinginside and everything that goes with it- like cleaning vegetables, sanitizinggroceries, currencies etc., washingclothes, masks etc. - is getting a littleold and tiresome.

This pandemic has made us moreprecautious. We know sustaining withthis extreme hygiene regime isunquestionably demanding.

Ask Anju, a doted wife, who sawher husband and family membersworking from home can tell you howmuch work pressure increased withfamily at home all the time.

Infact, for an entrepreneur likeShalini- household chores, child andfamily round the clock along withwork added to the insane workburden. Like her many women werestressed, trying to fit their job aroundchild care and house chores.

Because young or old, male orfemale this virus knows nodiscrimination.

But, with disinfection and handhygiene becoming an essential for avirusfree household, these women –loving mother, doted wife, workingprofessional were spendingsubstantial time in sanitization and

disinfection. And it was visibleexternally on the hands and internallyon the health and fitness.

Sanitizing and washing definitelyimpacts the skin and beauty hands.And the time spent in doing so waspreviously utilized for other thingslike – gyms, salons, tete-a-tetes.

Everyday Safe and Smartassistant for women

So what is the solution? Cleaning can be a chore, but what

if there are smart appliances that canmake your life easy and virusfree.

What if you don’t have to manuallydisinfect everything that you bring inthe house or sanitize the house withyour hands? What if all of this ispossible with just a click of a button?It is.

Bring home new savvy, smart -Elanpro Germicidal Lamp. It is a UV Cequipped smart disinfectant that canbe used to clean things like mobilephones, laptops, clothes, shoes,masks, currency notes, stationaryitems, water bottles, bags, fruits,vegetables and daily grocery apartfrom baby products and toys.Moreover, you can even disinfect anentire room with thisproduct.

Now with the aidof this hi-tech HomeAppliance, womencan go ahead withsanitary procedureswithout overexerting themselvesor ruining their skindue to the use ofaerosol.

This modern-dayappliance has a radarmotion sensor, acrucial safety feature

if you have kids/animals as it detectsthe presence of human beings andpets within a range of 5 meters,shutting it down immediately forprotection. You can remotely controlthe germicidal lamp. No need to bepresent right there.

So now you can use that little extratime on long pending yoga or aerobicsclass.

Hand Hygiene: The new mantraGerm free indoors is essential.

But hand hygiene has an equallyimportant role to play.

Are you looking for ways that candiligently sanitize every pair of handentering your house? Then yoursearch should end here.

Try Elanpro’s Safe Sani Dispensers.It can be mounted on a wall or astand, right outside the entrance ofyour house/building. This smartproduct automatically detects handskept at a distance of 3-5 inchesmaking it a piece of cake for everyonefrom kids, elderly to drivers and househelp.

Besides individually sanitizinghands can be really exasperatingwhile pedal sanitizers are not thatoperationally effective.

Elanpro Sani Dispenser is a uniqueproduct that can help sew that hole,sanitizers and disinfectants aremaking in your pocket. Equipped withZero Waste technology, it has asensor that dispenses just 1ml at atime, cutting down the wastage dueto spilling and leakage making itextremely economical.

# safe environment Nobody wants to compromise on

the health of their family. Butspending hours on disinfecting is

irrational and un- healthy.This unprecedentedlifestyle shift demandsways specifically designedto reduce risk, meet safetyrequirements, andpromote safe andresponsible behavior.

The new SAFE range byElanpro aims at fastforwarding the processesthat are required to live astress free new normal.

Bring home safe andease with Elanproappliances.

Safe and Secure Life with Elanpro

Give Your Home a Diwali Makeover. By Rama

Diwali, the celebrations oflights, is one of the mostanticipated Hindu

celebration for Indians. Everybodypraises this celebration withincredible energy and eagerness.The celebration centers on thecleaning and beautification ofhomes where we live. It lights upeach dim corner of our life that weabide in. This year Diwali will fall onfourteenth November 2020. You

may have intending to clean andbeautify your home. The multihuedlight shades mirror the variousfeelings that we enjoy. Theshimmering lights representgoodness, inspiration, andfreshness while the heavenlydesserts give a fixing ofpleasantness to our harsh pieces.

We commend it to cheer,remember, and to revive our spirits.Yet, it's not just about lights and

legends – Diwali is a chance to playaround with loved ones! Individualstrade blessings and desserts,appreciate scrumptious banquets,watch firecracker shows and wearethnic clothes. It's an opportunityto clean and enrich your home, too.The importance and the purposebehind the Diwali festivity forvarious individuals might bedifferent, yet the thought is one –To Light up the Dark.


This festival is extremely specialfor Indians, when the occasion isthis important; why not light it upwith some truly extraordinary ways.How about starting with Diwalicleaning ideas? All thingsconsidered, this bit of composingwill get you to the most captivatingDiwali adornment thoughts that willsurprise each visitor visiting yourhome. Yet, before that, we shouldgive you some Diwali cleaning hacksto set up your home for theenhancement further.

Simple Diwali House CleaningTips and Hacks

How might you start Diwalidecoration without cleaning yourhome appropriately? You shouldbegin with decorating your housefor Diwali simply subsequent tocleaning your home altogether. Itdoesn't bode well to improve ahome in the occasion that it isunclean and messy. To assist youwith cleaning, here are some simpleDiwali housekeeping hacks and tips.

Windows Cleaning White vinegar will help you in

cleaning all your glass windows inthe ideal manner. All that it requiresis blending of white vinegar withwater and fill the mixture in ashower bottle. You at that pointneed to spray it on the glass andleave it for at least 30 secondsbefore you wipe it with a delicatefabric. Want to take a microfibermaterial and guarantee that thesurface is totally dry. Attempt it! Itwill make your glass shinier morethan ever.

Floor Cleaning Cleaning the tiles and particularly

the in the middle of lines can be abad nightmare. Along these lines, allyou here need is a tablespoon ofbaking soda and hydrogenperoxide. Blend them both to getthe consistency of toothpaste. Youhave to then take an oldtoothbrush, dunk it in the glue, andscour the tiles. All that grime andgrout will be cleaned in the blink ofan eye.

Mattress Cleaning This Diwali, clean your mattress

completely. You simply need to takebaking soda and vinegar for it.Splash vinegar on the mattress andafterward sprinkle some soda on it,leaving it there for a couple ofhours. You would then be able toutilize a vacuum or clean it with adelicate brush. It will clean the dirtand the terrible smell.

Presently when you have cleanedyour house, it's an ideal opportunityto get your hands on the designsand different embellishments.


WE COMMEND IT TOCHEER, REMEMBER,AND TO REVIVE OURSPIRITS. YET, IT'S NOTJUST ABOUT LIGHTSAND LEGENDS –DIWALI IS A CHANCETO PLAY AROUNDWITH LOVED ONES!INDIVIDUALS TRADEBLESSINGS ANDDESSERTS,APPRECIATESCRUMPTIOUSBANQUETS, WATCHFIRECRACKER SHOWSAND WEAR ETHNICCLOTHES. IT'S ANOPPORTUNITY TOCLEAN AND ENRICHYOUR HOME, TOO.

Amazing Diwali Decoration Tips

Subsequent to cleaning yourhome altogether, continue forDiwali adornment. Here are somemagnificent decorating hacks thatwill light up your house this festiveseason. The decoration of theentryway or passage of a home onDiwali is basic. It ought to be doneflawlessly. There are endless thingsthat you can do make the entrancelooks amazing. ● You can utilize fresh flowers to

make the entrance looksattractive.

● What's Diwali without theexcellent plans of rangoli causingyour visitors and guests to feelwelcome even before theyventure inside your home? Do abasic and rich rangoli with flowerpetals or blossoms for a one of akind glance at the passageway ofyour home. Get innovative,anything is possible! Make rangoliutilizing fresh flowers. Rangoli isone of the most important piecesof Diwali enrichment. It is

regularly drawn on the entrance of the door.

● Place diyas and candles: Placingdiyas and candles at thepassageway of your home willadd more appeal to your Diwalibeautification. Diyas and candleswill exile murkiness and make theentrance look splendid andalluring.

Light Decoration Diwali is the celebration of lights.

You can't envision this celebrationwithout the utilization of lights,


diyas, and candles. Lights are themost significant embellishment ofhome during Diwali. ● Place diyas and candles on the

divider, windows, entryways, andterrace.

● Use string lights or LED diyas formaking your home all the moresplendid and lovely.

● Drape some string lights orsequential lights on the trees atyour home.

● Decorate the spot with freshflowers for daytime.

● Use various kinds of brilliantlighting to get more assortmentand warmth to your home.

● Add more appeal to Diwalienrichment by fixing extravagantlight fixtures at your home.

Are there customs for

the day afterDiwali? Are there customs for

the day afterDiwali? The next day, families offer

extraordinary supplications toLakshmi for a prosperous year.This custom love is likewisecoordinated to Kubera, theheavenly being whodisseminates riches to humans.As Hindus petition Almighty forcomfort and the family'smaterial riches, it is acceptedthat things ought not to beparted with or given on this oneday of the year.

We

PLACING DIYAS ANDCANDLES AT THEPASSAGEWAY OF YOURHOME WILL ADD MOREAPPEAL TO DIWALIBEAUTIFICATION. DIYASAND CANDLES WILLEXILE MURKINESS ANDMAKE THE ENTRANCELOOK SPLENDID ANDALLURING.

How It’s Different. By Deepshikha Pandey

It can feel like pregnancy changeseverything. In some ways, it does.You’re skipping your favorite sushi

place and reaching for well-done steakinstead. The smallest odors seem tohave you rushing to the toilet to throwup, and even sitcoms can leave you inan emotional puddle of tears. You’veasked your OB everything under thesun, from whether you can have beefjerky to if your belly button willbecome an outie — and why.

But there’s one subject you’rewondering about that you’ve felt alittle uncomfortable bringing up: thebig O. So, is it OK to have an orgasmduring pregnancy? (And if you’vealready had one, why did it feel really,really good — better than it ever hasbefore?) The short answer is yes, inmost cases, it’s absolutely fine to havean orgasm while pregnant — in fact, itcan also be a great for your emotionaland mental well-being.

Let’s take a closer look at orgasmsafety, sensations in the first, second,and third trimesters, and a big mythabout orgasms bringing on labor —debunked.

Orgasm During Pregnancy:It’s Fine

Is it ever not safe to have anorgasm during pregnancy?

When it comes to sex duringpregnancy, there’s a lot that cancause hesitation: You may not feel“in the mood,” thanks to hormonesand morning sickness; your partnermay worry about “poking the baby”or otherwise hurting you; and youboth may have concerns aboutorgasms and uterine contractions.

Always check with your doctorabout whether you, specifically, areOK to have sex. But if your doctorhasn’t told you otherwise, and yourpregnancy is low risk, it’s generallycompletely safe to get it onbetween the sheets.

In fact, when researchers lookedat studies involving 1,483 pregnantwomen, they found that there wereno significant differences betweenthose who had sex during theirpregnancy and those who didn’twhen it came to inducing laborcontractions.

Researchers also noted that inlow risk pregnancies, sex wasn’tassociated with “preterm birth,premature rupture of membranes,or low birth weight.” However, ifyou have any of the following, yourdoctor may indeed tell you toabstain from sexual activity:

❉ Spotting or bleeding❉ Incompetent cervix (when the

cervix is shorter than about 22millimeters and you’re at higher riskfor preterm birth)


❉ Vasa previa (when theumbilical cord vessels run too closeto the cervix)

❉ Placenta previa (when theplacenta covers the cervix)

Also, don’t have sex if your waterhas already broken. Amniotic fluidforms a protective barrier betweenyour baby and the outside world —without it, you’re more at risk forinfection.

If your pregnancy is high risk forother reasons, like multiples, talk toyour OB. One review of studiesfound that there simply isn’tenough research about sex duringhigh risk pregnancies.

What a pregnancy orgasmfeels like, by trimesterFirst trimester

Sex in the first trimester may begreat, or it may suffer from many“false starts”: You’re in the moodone minute, and a wave of nauseahits you the next.

On the other hand, your body isalready becoming more sensitive —your breasts, for example, may bemore tender to the touch andtherefore more easily stimulated byyour partner or yourself. Your libidomay increase, too. These things,along with more natural lubricationdown there, may result in quickerand more satisfying orgasms.

Or, you may just need to wait forthe discomfort of first trimestersymptoms to pass. And somewomen’s libido actually decreases.And that’s OK, too. It’s all within therealm of normal.

Second trimesterThis might be the sweet spot

when it comes to reaching your,ahem, sweet spot. With morningsickness (usually) a thing of the pastand the discomforts of the thirdtrimester yet to come, sex andorgasm during the second trimestermay be the most enjoyable.

YOUR BODY IS ALREADYBECOMING MORESENSITIVE — YOURBREASTS, FOREXAMPLE, MAY BEMORE TENDER TO THETOUCH ANDTHEREFORE MOREEASILY STIMULATED BYYOUR PARTNER ORYOURSELF. YOURLIBIDO MAY INCREASE,TOO.

Here are a few things that you mayexperience:

❉ Your orgasms may be morepleasurable. There are a fewreasons for this, with perhaps themain one being increased bloodflow during pregnancy. This can goeither way depending on theperson, but for many, it meansmore pleasure — and easierorgasms.

❉ You may feel post-orgasmuterine contractions or cramps.These are perfectly normal andeven happen when you’re notpregnant — you just may not feelthem unless you are. Cramps willgenerally subside with rest.

❉ Your stomach may feel veryhard. This is another commonoccurrence during orgasm,pregnant or not. But with yourstretched skin and more extendedbelly, chances are, you’ll notice thissensation more.

❉ The release of hormones maybe compounded. What we mean isthis: Your body is already producingmore oxytocin (the “lovehormone”) during pregnancy. You’llrelease even more when youorgasm. And that’s typically goingto feel pretty darn good.

Third trimesterSex in general may be more

difficult during the home stretchthat is the third trimester. For onething, your adorable baby bumpmay feel more like an enormoussack of potatoes: awkward to carryand always in the way. But also, you

may have a harder time reachingthe big O. With baby taking up somuch room in your uterus, themuscles may not be able to fullycontract as they need to in order toclimax.

No partner necessaryAn orgasm is an orgasm, no

matter whether it involves twopeople or just one. So,masturbation is completely safe

during pregnancy — unless you’vebeen told to abstain — and so isusing sex toys.

Just remember to practice goodhygiene and keep any toys you useclean — now is not the time youwant to worry about sexuallytransmitted infections, which canbe introduced to your body by apenis, finger, or toy.

ConclusionGood news if pregnancy has your

hormones raging and your libidothrough the roof: It’s completelysafe to have an orgasm during a lowrisk pregnancy. If your pregnancy ishigh risk and it’s not safe for you,your doctor should tell you. And ifyou feel embarrassed about asking,remember: OBs have heard it all. Notopic should be off limits.

And the old folk wisdom thatsays that sex brings on labor? It’sjust not supported. So whetheryou’re 8 weeks or 42 weeks, feelfree to get busy with your partner— or yourself — and enjoy the O.


We

❉ It can be the best sex ofyour life. Once you get pastfeeling awful all the time, youmay realize that not only ispregnancy sex possible, it’s evenbetter than regular sex!

❉ Orgasms are twice aspowerful. Think orgasms are fun?Wait until you have one duringpregnancy!

❉ Or you may never want tohave sex again. It’s totallynormal, especially during the firstfew nauseating, exhaustion-filledmonths, to hate even the idea ofhaving sex.

❉ You’ll need to get creativewith positions. Your favoritepositions before being pregnantmight be your least favoriteduring pregnancy.

❉ Your baby’s movementsmay mess up your groove.Whether they throw off yourconcentration or freak yourpartner out (or both?), yourbaby’s kicks and rolls can reallyinterrupt the flow of sex.

❉ An orgasm can triggercontractions. By your thirdtrimester, you may already beexperiencing some Braxton-Hickscontractions. These can betriggered by many things,including an orgasm.

❉ Sex can be a lot messier.Period sex ain’t got nothing onpregnancy sex! It’s normal toexperience a lot of vaginaldischarge, especially towards theend, but that doesn’t mean it isn’tweird.

7Weird Things No One Tells You About Pregnancy Sex

India has approx 135 crorepopulations. Now, what if I askyou to tell me the names of one

lakh people whom you know?Surely you will take a pause becauseyou may know people around youbut fail to recognize their name.Now, what if I ask you aboutfamous personalities like AmitabhBachchan, Sachin Tendulkar, andMahatma Gandhi, etc.? Were theyall born with a silver spoon? Wasthere no difficulty in their life? Well,people can born with all luxuries intheir life but nobody can make theirfame without doing hard-work. So,what’s your identity? Are you thoseamong ordinary people or trying tobe a unique one?

Search for your ideal lifeAre you also surrounded by

nitpicker who looks for fault insideyou and tries to make you perfect?You cannot stop people fromjudging you! Keep doingexperiments until you getsatisfaction in your life. Search forthe ideal life where you findpleasure, peace, and worthful living it!

Ignore or SpeakAre you fed up with people

constantly judging you? Thankfully,we all have two ears, allow theircomments to pass from one ear toanother, and ignore it. Do not retainthem in long term memory. No onecan help you out if you will notspeak for yourself.

You cannotcontrol other’s actions-

No matter what you do;someone will always talk about youand doubt your potentials. Everypart of your journey has beauty in it;so, never let anyone drag you downfor climbing to a better place.

Do not show interest in whatpeople say

Can you stop dogs from barking?Do you respond to them in the backby barking or ignore? How can youstop people from speaking? Theyhave their life and they will speakanything. Don’t let these peopleaffect your personal life.

Pissed Off?Remind yourself about your

capabilities- People do not feed youor bear your living expenses. It’syou whom you have to pay foryourself. A winner was also once aloser who didn’t stop trying. So,keep trying until you achieve wantyou to want!

Never Doubt YourselfYou have to learn how to accept

yourself for who you are! Work onyourself. Stay confident and letsuccess give them an appropriate

answer! Never Doubt yourself onthe basis of other’s assumptions.It’s better to be unique than thebest because best can make youreplace but unique will make youthe only one!

Satisfaction is the key factor If you will keep comparing your

life with others, you cannot reachyour destination. We have to cleardifferent exams in our life atdifferent times where questionscannot be determined in advance.Even a peacock being so beautifuland National Bird of India getsupset when he looks at his feet.Accept yourself with all your flawshappily.

Self Acceptance If you are born as a Rose flower,

don’t try to become a lotus flower.If you try to change yourself to fitwhat other people want you to be,you will suffer all your life. Truehappiness lies in understandingyourself, accepting yourself, andhaving confidence in yourself.

Uplift Yourself Towards Positive Attitude

You are “Best and Unique” inyour way, which makes youdifferent from others. Staybeautiful; the way you are!Remember to chase the things youdeserve. Surround yourself withpeople who value you and admireyou. Feel the difference!

Spread your arms in the air and

Rediscover YourselfUphold your self worth. By Richa Goel

sing it loud “It’s my life, It’s my timeand I can do what I like..” It’s yourlife and you have the patent right tocherish your life; the way you want.Never apologize for being who youare!

“Do Good, Be Good”!

EVEN A PEACOCK BEINGSO BEAUTIFUL ANDNATIONAL BIRD OFINDIA GETS UPSET WHENHE LOOKS AT HIS FEET.ACCEPT YOURSELF WITHALL YOUR FLAWSHAPPILY.

We

Add a sparkle to your festivespirit by indulging inexquisite, one-of-its-kind

chocolate offerings from ITC Ltd.’sFabelle. In line with the brand’sethos of creating inimitablechocolate experiences and craftedkeeping the diverse preferences ofchocolate connoisseurs in mind,these boxed chocolates andbouquets deliver chocolateexperiences at par with globalstandard and in distinctive formats,making them ideal for self-indulgence and elegant gifting.

nuanced taste and texture of all-time rich European desserts likeCrème Brulee, Tiramisu, BanoffeePie, Strawberry Cheesecake andLemon Meringue. This innovativeassortment is a modern retelling ofclassic desserts, making it a perfectpresent for the finest palates.

Available in Pack of 5, 10 and 20Truffles.

A 'Treasure Trove of Chocolate Stories'that make for an incomparable gift from

ITC Ltd.’s Fabelle ChocolatesFondue pot set with milk and darkdipping chocolate. The SignatureBouquet is assembled together inan elegant vintage chocolate brownbriefcase with pink embellishments.

Ruby GiandujaRuby chocolates were a path

breaking discovery as the fourthtype of chocolates, after White,Dark and Milk chocolate. In October2018, Fabelle unveiled India’s firstever Ruby Chocolate - Fabelle’sRuby Gianduja. With its natural rubycolour and unique berry fruity taste,ruby chocolates are an intensesensorial delight handcrafted byexpert Master Chocolatiers andindividually wrapped in speciallydesigned ruby colored tin boxeswhich exude a regal panache.

Single Origin CacaosExperience the nuanced taste of

dark chocolate in an assorted box ofSingle Origin Cacaos. The boxconsists of six chocolate bars,sourced from six exotic cocoagrowing regions of - Madagascar,Dominican Republic, Ecuador, SaoTome, Venezuela and Ghana.

Fabelle Gift Bouquets –Signature Bouquet

Fabelle’s Signature Bouquetconsist of an eclectic assortment ofhandcrafted Fabelle chocolates likeFabelle Elements, a box of fiveassorted handcrafted pralines,inspired by the five elements ofnature, namely earth, fire, air, waterand wood. Gianduja – a recreationof the Napoleon era delicacy, SingleOrigin Cacaos, Dessert Collectiontruffles, Luxury Chocolate Bars withvisible elements of surprise and a

Fabelle Gift Bouquets - GrandeBouquet

Fabelle’s Grande Bouquetencompasses three exquisiteFabelle creations - Fabelle Gianduja,.Fabelle Elements, and anexceptional Fabelle Fondue Set,that incorporates a bag of Fabelledipping chocolate and acomplimentary fondue pot.

Fabelle Gift Bouquets - RoyaleBouquet

Fabelle’s Royale Bouquetcomprises of a box of FabelleGianduja, a box of ten FabelleElements, a Fabelle Fondue set with2 bags of Fabelle dipping chocolatewith a complimentary fondue potand Fabelle Single Origin Cacaos.

Available at:● ITC Hotels, ITC e-Stores, Swiggy

and Zomato in Mumbai, Delhi,Kolkata, Hyderabad, Chennai andBangalore

Dessert CollectionThis offering from Fabelle, is a

collection of five uniquehandcrafted truffles inspired by the

Ruby Gianduja

Dessert Collection

Single Origin Cacaos

Fabelle Gift Bouquets -Grande Bouquet

Fabelle Gift Bouquets –Signature Bouquet

Fabelle Gift Bouquets - Royale Bouquet

Covid is a global wellness challenge. Hundreds of millions ofpeople across the continents of the world are impacted.Health care measures are a top priority. It has created a

stand-offish attitude among people who are required to berestricted in carrying business as usual. With increasing joblessness,feelings of isolation, loss of loved ones in many cases, a huge blowon income, people are becoming restless and stressed over thecurrent and future scenarios. In the teeth of a downturn, pettyfinancial hassles are turning into major life changing crisisand tough decisions have to be made. This is neitherexciting nor distinctive.

FinancialNavigation

Through COVIDTips to help you navigate through this volatile time.

By Aditi Maheshwari


Every business is unique in itselfand is also creative. Creativity isalways an uncertain process. It’s likea painting where you start with onecolour and then add another colourwhich should work with the firstcolour. Then the third colour shouldwork with the first and secondcolour and so forth. It’s a processthat requires commitment. You areinvested. There is no reverse gearon this thing. To create a singlemasterpiece breakthrough you haveto build connectivity. You simplycannot brush off the power ofconnection.

What matters most right now ishow to survive. Does your strategyworks or not? Are the colours justright? And whether you are asurrealist or a CEO, there are alwaysbills to pay and money alwaysarrives later than you ever dreamedpossible. At such times businessesare not just looking for tips onstocks and shares but requiredeeper understanding andknowledge to guide them throughthis vicious uncertainty. The onlineworld is an omphalos ofopportunities, whether you want toexpand your knowledge base or dobusiness or provide services, all youneed to do is open your laptop, loginto the concerned sphere ofactivity and create your own uniquespace and use it for your specificpurpose. Real craft lies in addingvalue. Relevance, context, andconnection are key elements thatcannot be overlooked.

FINANCIAL STRATEGIESSometimes, it will feel

overwhelming to be faced witheverything you don’t know.However, financial advisors canhelp bring clarity, and clarityenhances performance in business.Financial health is the key elementin surviving. The financialquarantine cannot be held for long.Organize your life for the better.Allocate resources in ways thatmeet your current needs and longterm sustainability. Risk toleranceand risk capacity, basically risk

management is crucial at this timeand needs deeper reflection into thebooks of accounts. Savings,budgeting, insurance, and taxstrategies also need to be wellplanned. Create a comprehensivepersonal financial plan that bestsuits you and your organization.Choosing people who fit your vision,is vital for your growth. Runningyour business in autopilot mode inthe present scenario can prove tobe hazardous. However, expertadvice will help you swim smoothlyin turbulent waters and will make iteasy for you to handle suchsituations in the future. Responsesto a crisis are immediate in nature,

MoneyManagement

Tips

● Understand your spendinghabits

● Strict budgeting measures

● Emergency funds

● Have a bound-back plan

VIRTUALCONFERENCINGBREAKS THE BARRIEROF DISTANCE, TIME,AND TRAVELRESULTING IN A GREATREDUCTION INEXPENSES AS WELL ASSUPPORTING SOCIALDISTANCING DURINGTHE PANDEMIC. YOUGET THE SAMEEXPERIENCE AS THATOF ONSITE ATTENDEES.

but recovery takes time. Developmomentum by balancing act ofjuggling various priorities.

More so, the use of technologycannot be ignored as technologyhas changed the operating systemsin all fields of work significantly andtoday’s generation is addicted to itand as such it forms the basis offuture work. Virtual Conferencingbreaks the barrier of distance, time,and travel resulting in a greatreduction in expenses as well assupporting social distancing duringthe pandemic. You get the sameexperience as that of onsiteattendees. You can participate indiscussion forums, vote digitally,use the conference resource center,you can search for and chat withother members and several otherfeatures are there for youradvantage. Example: Zoom

Clear communication fostersboth business and personal growthas it helps to address the needs,provide direction, evaluate progressor performance, organise andprioritise tasks, helps in workingmore collaboratively, you can catchup on a personal level, ensures

virtually people feel morebenevolent on a human level andalso promotes a culture ofaccountability resulting in healthybusiness associations.

“People’s skill” means having ahighly developed and authenticinterest in other people and not afleeting interest in benefitingyourself from the equation. If youcan provide low-cost support andcare in addressing the pain point ofyour client in tough times andprovide relief, it will lead to mutualsuccess. Also, financial advisors caneducate you to develop the rightmindset and tools to handle your

business best and secure yourbusiness largely. He/she will keepyou level-headed and make sure youthink deeper into your actions andhelp you replace over-thinking withaction. To be successful you have toswallow your fear and set yourselfto create something special andrelevant enough to make adifference in people’s life.

Just like another muscle of thebody, the brain requires exercise tokeep it strong and healthy. Themore informed you will be, thebetter equipped you are to tackleany challenge that comes your way.Patience and courage will turn outto be your best friends. One daywhen you will look back at the year2020, it will either be the year thatbroke you, or the year that timestopped or the year that got youahead and this depends on theactions you take now. Remember,not to use authenticity as a reasonto stay stuck in these turbulenttimes, use it to propel you to grow,to step up into your strength andoperate much more effectively andin a higher version of your authenticself.


ReactiveLittle to plan.

Based on demandSemi-planned resonseto external forces.

Virtual ConferencingContinuty plan forpermanent employees andsimple scenario. Somecriticality segmentation.

People’s skillMultiple scenariosplanned for permanentand contingentworkforce. planningbased on skills.

Technology andworkflowAgile workforce enabled byAI, cognitive, virtualworkflow, and talentecosystem.

JUST LIKE ANOTHERMUSCLE OF THE BODY,THE BRAIN REQUIRESEXERCISE TO KEEP ITSTRONG AND HEALTHY.THE MORE INFORMEDYOU WILL BE, THEBETTER EQUIPPED YOUARE TO TACKLE ANYCHALLENGE.

We

Successful Financial Planning on thejoureney to a new normal

high and will continue to drink handsanitizers for that purpose. Overtime, any alcohol-containingbeverage will begin to lose itsimpact as tolerance increases. Theindividual in turn increases theamount of hand sanitizerconsumed, attempting to achievethe original high. This is howaddiction to hand sanitizer candevelop.

The individual will need toreceive professional therapy thathelps them understand the driving

in hand sanitizer. Nausea andvomiting can also happen wheninhaling hand sanitizer. Especiallywith long-term use, the potentfumes of alcohol can causeproblems with your digestive tract.Even more, those who try to usethis substance in an abusive waywhile sick with a fever canexperience worse nausea andvomiting.

Rubbing alcohol can seriouslyirritate nucleus membranes insidethe nose. It's almost like a chemicalburn that happens in the nasalpassages. Those with asthma couldseriously endanger their respiratoryhealth. Even those who do notsuffer from asthma can causethemselves difficulty with breathingwhile inhaling fumes of rubbingalcohol.

Below, you'll find symptoms ofhuffing. That way, you might beable to identify this behavior in yourchild or someone you know.● Agitation● Delusions● A feeling of drowsiness● Hallucinations● Impaired judgment● The initial feeling of excitement● Lightheadedness● Mood changes

Huffing hand sanitizer issomething that should not be done.No matter who or what age, thereare serious dangers that come withinhaling any type of substance.Please know that this can also leadto addiction and furthercomplications.

It’s mind blowing to think ofsomeone deliberately drinkinghand sanitizer to get an alcohol

buzz / high. However, just as manyteens drink cough syrup or inhalewhip cream vapors from a can, ortry Jenkem, or even alcohol-soakedtampons, many have discoveredhand sanitizers as the source of apotential high. It’s not just teenswho are drinking and using thesemethods to get high, adults, too,have been using hand sanitizers tocatch a buzz because mostsanitizers are 95% alcohol.

With the recent threat of theCoronavirus (COVID-19), we’reseeing a 25% increase in HandSanitizer Addiction. Using analcohol-based hand sanitizer is oneof the first thing medical expertsand scientists say to use,sporadically, throughout the day tostay germ-clean and hopefully avoidthe disastrous Coronavirus (COVID-19) from spreading.

How Does a Hand SanitizerAddiction Develop?

People who chose to drink theseproducts are typically teens andyoung adults looking for a cheapand powerful high that is easilyaccessible, or people with analcohol addiction who have toresort to these types of sources foralcohol to hide the fact that theyare still imbibing. As with anysubstance that contains anaddictive substance, ingesting handsanitizers that contain ethanol cancreate a high. The individual maythen want to re-experience that

High on Hand SanitizerDangers of Huffing Hand Sanitizer Addiction.By M. Vinayak

WITH THE RECENTTHREAT OF THECORONAVIRUS (COVID-19), WE’RESEEING A 25% INCREASEIN HAND SANITIZERADDICTION.

forces for their propensity to usehand sanitizers for a high, and thenmake behavioral changes toovercome the addiction.

Dangers of Sniffing HandSanitizers

As a parent, you may be worriedabout your children now. It'scommon to worry about them.However, knowing what to expectand what can happen when huffingsanitizer is a great way to bringawareness to your kids. Below, youwill find the most common dangers.

Headaches can happen eitherthrough long-term exposure or withjust one whiff of the alcohol that is We



Indo Count Industries Ltd. Launches a Value Driven

Home Textiles’ Brand ‘LAYERS.’

Indo Count Industries Ltd one ofthe largest Indian manufacturerand global exporter of bed linen

has announced their foray into the12,000-cr value-driven Indian bedlinen market with the launch oftheir new brand, “Layers”. Alongwith the success of premium bathand bed brand, Boutique Living,newly launched brand “Layers” nowjoins the Indo Count family to makea mark in the Indian bed linen space.Hinged on contemporary styles anddeveloped using cutting-edgetechnology, the brand boasts ofspecial anti-microbial and antifungalproperties. With Layers, Indo Countpresents a first-of-its-kindaffordable offering for India’s fast-growing aspirational class that isactively seeking means to upgrade

Introducing exquisite designs wrapped in superior fabrics at affordable prices Perfectly meets the rapidly growing pandemic-driven demand for home products

amongst the aspirational class

their lifestyles, starting with theirhomes.

With new significance to life,work and especially homes thesedays, Indo Count’s newly launchedLayers, is a perfect combination ofglobal designs and value pricing sothat every Indian can dress up theirhomes. Layers hosts a range ofsmart bedding styles and designs inDouble Bedsheets, ReversibleComforters, Unique Bed-in-a-Bag(BIAB) and Dohars. Layers is theamalgam of Indo Count’s threedecade-long experience of servingconsumers around the world thathas given the company a deepunderstanding of a variety of designstyles that bore well with the Indianaudience.

Mr Anil Kumar Jain, Chairman,

Indo Count Industries Ltd. said,“The pandemic has resulted inspending a lot of time at home andunderstandably given a chance toour customers to take a closer lookat their homes, how they functionand how they can transform them.Things that were overlooked havesuddenly gained importance andnow are making a conscious effortin building a smart home, which canserve multiple functions like forwork, for entertainment, and forleisure. Smart bedding solutionswith affordable pricing is one of theprimary ways to fulfil this need.

With Layers, Indo Count marks aunique union of style with safetyand technology in the domestic bedlinen industry for the smartcustomer. After the success we


Indo Count worksfor womenempowerment bytraining and skillenhancement.

To ensure theeco-friendly setup, solar panels

are installed.

Most of the waterconsumed isrecycled using ETPand RO system.

Mr. Asim Upadhyay Phone: 9892931140Email id:[email protected]

Contact

enjoyed with our premium range ofbed linen products from BoutiqueLiving, we believe this brand willprove to be a winning combinationin the value-driven market.”

The experts from ICIL’s R&Dteam are cognizant of the premiumthat buyers place on health intoday’s landscape. The line bringstogether Indo Count’s learning fromserving consumers across the globewith world-class designs andtechnology, offering a variety ofdesigns in a plethora of vibrantcolours to experiment and play with.

Availability of the entirespectrum of bed linen in style andcolour-coordinated sets makes itthe ideal self-use or gifting optionthis festive season. It will bring, tothe Indian audience, a collectionthat is inspired from designs all overthe world.

The brand will be availablethrough multi-brand outlets as wellas virtual destinations includingMyntra, Amazon, Flipkart and theirown e-commerce portal.

Price range for consumers: INR 999 - 1,999 for

Double Bedsheets INR 2,499 - 3,499 for

Reversible Comforters INR 3,499 - 4,499 for the

Bed-in-a-Bag (BIAB) INR 1,499 - 1,999 for

Dohar blankets

About Indo Count Industries Ltd:

Indo Count is India’s largestmanufacturer and global exporterof bed linen. Indo Count suppliesthe finest linens to major retailers inmore than 54 countries worldwide.Indo Count has fully operationaldesigns studios working from NewYork, Manchester and Mumbai.

Indo Count is well known for itsSustainability Initiatives, whichmakes it stand out among others.

Water Recycling & Conservation:For recycling & reuse of maximumwater used in process house, ETP &RO system are installed.

Reducing Greenhouse GasEmission: By active use of naturallight across all manufacturingfacilities as well as solar powerplant and zero sludge wastedisposal, the company iscontributing highly to cut down oncarbon foot print.

Indo Count has actively takenCorporate Social Responsibility toanother level with its initiative“Every Smile Counts.” Consistentlysupported 110 Govt. schools for e-learning, with 44,000 plus studentsbenefiting from their programmes.

Indo Count has supplied basiceducation materials across 50 plusschools that includes Blind Schoolsalso. They have worked onimproving sanitation facilities byconstructing toilets, and providingclean drinking water by installingwater purifier and RO systems atschools.

Women Empowerment: IndoCount has fully operational skilldevelopment centres, to supportskill training and employment. Withspecial initiative to empowerwomen, more than 850 womentrained in skills jobs and 550 plusfully employed.

Indo Count has provided freemedical vans, regular health check-ups, surgeries and medicines toover 96 distant villages coveredunder this initiative.

Conclusively, Indo Count is anIndian product backed byinnovation, technology andexperience.


Idon't know if all humans havetertiary sex organs in theirbodies or not but I recently

discovered my body has one. Amidst tearing my nerves and

distributing them in no specificproportion between office,husband, kids, home, pet, hobbyand servants, I finally was to givemy good shot when I was invited tobe on a regional level stage as aguest of honour.

The host advised me to becamera and media ready with sharpwit and a stylish demeanour.WhatsApp and Facebook photoscan be disastrous if not taken careof, so I obviously rushed to a beautyparlour.

"Ma'am what's the occasion?"The girl behind the desk asked meas she scanned my body anomalies.“I have to attend a stage showwhere media would be clicking me”I replied. "Ma'am your skin is dull,your hair's a mess and you haveblackheads so the minimum Isuggest go for hair spa and aninstant glow facial.” “Do I reallyneed that?” “We’ll give discount.Won’t cost you much and you willlook amazing.” She threw the trapsuccessfully.

My sleep and sex deprived statethat has caused the visible flaws onmy face saw this as the quick fixoffer to beat the Facebook andWhatsApp stress.

As the facial progressed, mysleep-deprived body caught up withthe act and enjoyed a good sleep.(Facial beds and train berths are theonly two places where I sleep like apig.) Next, I was on a chair with myhead tilted backwards into a basin. Iwas still in the state of enjoying arelaxed slumber, sat with my eyesclosed. The soft music playing in theparlour added to my bliss. Soon softstreams of cold water were on myscalp. Ten long, strong masculine

fingers began probing. It beganmaking me feel orgasmic. Goosebumps rose as the fingers went upand down the scalp from the nape.Eyes shut; I reeled in the mountingpleasure.

After a long soft session of doinggod knows what on my scalp withshampoo then that thick L’Orealcream; each movement careful andcalculated, gave me differentwavelengths of pleasure waves.

As the heavenly smell of thecream filled my tilted nostrils, myclosed eyes got filled with sensuousassumptions. I tell you, thewoman's scalp is surely a tertiarysex organ. Is it because it’s nearestto the brain that senses the touchon an instant? I could sense therising tide in my body with each ofthe moves in my head.

Just then the fingers stoppedand so did the newly born orgasm,obviously premature. A steammachine engulfed my head and nextmy orgasm was flowing out of myhead in the form of perspiration.

I’ll send my husband for training.Only if men have some intelligence,will they learn the basics – the wayto an intelligent woman's body isthrough her head – literally!

Tertiary Sex OrganIt was organic! By Ankita Srivastava

We

WOMAN'S SCALP ISSURELY A TERTIARYSEX ORGAN. IS ITBECAUSE IT’S NEARESTTO THE BRAIN THATSENSES THE TOUCH ONAN INSTANT? I COULDSENSE THE RISING TIDEIN MY BODY WITH EACHOF MOVES IN MY HEAD.

The spring lay vicious, wrappedin autumn leaves, serene andbeautiful, fifty shades darker

than it was last year. It’s impossibleto fathom what has gone with theWind, but something is sohappening making my life magical.As I pull the sheets off the corner, Isee Tommy at the windows,perhaps savoring the quicksilveraccentuated illumination of theUniverse.

I make my way through themyriad circumstances when I amreminded of my past, that part withmy granddaughter, Kate. She wasso acquainted, warm, melancholicand perfect. It was when herparents migrated to the cities thatwe became the same parts of theconstellation. Back then, she was soyoung, carefree and happy-go-lucky. Reminiscing about her brings

tears to my eyes.As the flowers blossomed and

the land was filled with witheredleaves, I could see Kate, ponderingover something and penning themdown. I could never bear to see herwilt, so I moved closer to enquirewhat was upsetting her.

“What’s wrong Kate? You seemto be hurt.”

She was 15 then, grownup andcomposed. She never staggered,forgave quickly, loved infinitely andsmiled frequently. Her smile was soinfectious and we never talkedabout the void her parents left inher life. There was always thatinvariable twinkling in her eyes, thatradiance which kept me goingthroughout the years. Butsometimes she got fidgety andswayed like the foliage in the trees.

“Leave it Grans, not all days arebuoyant,” she uttered.

“I’m not sure what’s botheringyou but I’m here to weld yourheart.”

“It’s my friend’s birthday andyou haven’t got me the gift you hadpromised,” she panicked.

“I deeply apologize about mycarelessness, Kate. You could havebrought it to my attention earlier.”

“Your apologies cannot mend it,and stop blaming me,” she shouted.

Kate tottered off in the directionof her room and slammed the door

Love beyond the boundaries.By Sneha Sundaresan

“Love, it never dies. It nevergoes away; it never fades, so longas you hang on to it. Love canmake you immortal”

I WANTED TO SEE HERENJOYING, GLOWINGAMONG THECHANDELIERS ANDEMBELLISHMENTS. IWAS PLANNING ABOUTTHE EVENING THATDAY. I WAS CONVINCEDTHERE WAS NO WAVE,NOR GALE AGAINSTOUR LOVE. TO CONJOINBACK OURRELATIONSHIP, IWOULD SACRIFICEANYTHING THAT WASWORTH IT.


shut. Most of the times, she waslovely but some days hitched heranger. I understood how difficult itwas for her to live without herguardians, and I universally tried mybest to enlighten her.

We lived on the lucrativeenvirons, hidden behind thepanoramic landscape. We weren’tpoor; we had enough on ourpockets to ignite our lives with theessentials. It was certainly mymistake that I had forgotten to gether the present and I couldn’t get itbecause the duty-paid shop wasclosed the day I was in town.

RAREST FORM OF GEMI universally tried to make her

happy because she was the partand parcel of my life. Seeing her sadwas the last thing I ever wanted.But sometimes, matters only getworse and there is little you can doto correct it. We did have anunderstanding bond between us, abond whose base was forever laid.

She was the rarest form of gemand was beautiful with the lightradiating from within her. It did notastonish me when she stormed atme because she was 15 years old-young, and was growing up withher grandma. And it was mybirthday too. The fact that she hadforgotten it didn’t bother meeither. I was drinking mycappuccino when I heard Kate’sfootsteps. She was leaving for thebash party, I thought. I wished Icould accompany her too, but shewould not let me, considering that Ihad not kept my words.

I wanted to see her enjoying,glowing among the chandeliers andembellishments. I was planningabout the evening that day. I wasconvinced there was no wave, norgale against our love. To conjoinback our relationship, I wouldsacrifice anything that was worth it.

It was late night when she camein; I could hear the owls howlingover their entrails. The lights wereswitched off and she could seesomething flaring at the end of thetable. She came nearer andunwrapped the cover and suddenly

tears streamed down her eyes,when she found me beside theswitchboard. She ran towards meand we hugged. She wished meHappy Birthday and that becamethe most memorable andcherishable birthday I’ve evercelebrated.

That day, I realized that hardtimes are transient and it ishappiness, which stays inevitably.We forgot and forgave our mistakesand penetrated each others’ hearts

with ecstasies. I wanted to freezethat moment! That day was the bestpage of my journal. I knew that herhard times were over and that thislittle girl would take the world bystorm.

Today, when I look at her photoon the cover of the newspaper, myeyes brim with pleasure. Realityevoked me when my phone startedto ring. It was her, Kate, myinspiration, my life and the personwho made me feel loved!

Rise Beautiful with Spawake Triple Care Serum

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With a beautiful mission,Spawake believes in awakeningthe inner beauty of every woman.They understands the journey of awoman and the importance of awoman to Rise Beautiful, nomatter how the story lies.

Originated in Japan, The brandbrings its refreshing skincareproducts with advance Japanesetechnologies. Developed fromnatural ingredients like seasourced weeds and activeingredients, They are offeringreplenishing skincare solutions indifferent categories - Whitening,Moisturising, Pimple Care, Anti-Ageing, Sunscreen, BB & CCCreams, Makeup Remover andsea-based Ayurveda Range.

We


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WHAT TO EXPECT THE

FIRST TIMESEX

Guide for the the sex beginners. By A. Kartikeyan

If you’re thinking about havingsex for the first time, you mightbe feeling a little nervous as well

as excited. There’s probably loadsyou want to know – and that’stotally normal. We’ve put togethera list of some stuff to considerbefore, during and after sex.

Think about whether you're ready

Deciding to have sex for the firsttime is a pretty big deal. Make sureyou’re ready, and that you’vethought through the following:

● Is sex something you reallywant to do, or do you feel you'rebeing pressured into it?

● What are you comfortable

doing, and what is 'off limits'?● Do you want to be in a

committed relationship with theperson you have sex with?

If you’re not sure if you’re 100%ready, it can help to talk withsomeone you trust, such as atrusted friend or family member, ora mental health professional. Ifyou’re in a relationship, it’s veryimportant that you talk to yourpartner about how you both feel,and to make sure that you bothconsent. Sexual consent must beexplicit, which means that bothpeople say that they really want tohave sex. Read up on five thingsyou need to know about sexualconsent here.

YOU HAVE


Okay, I'm ready. Now what?So, you’re feeling ready for sex,

and both you and your partnerconsent. Awesome. But here’s thething: it’s important to go about itin a responsible way. For example, ifyou don’t practise safe sex, you canget a sexually transmissibleinfection (STI). And if you’rethinking of having penis-in-vaginasex, there’s a chance you could getpregnant as well. Luckily, there arethings you can do to reduce thechances of becoming infected orpregnant.

● Use condoms (for penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus sex) or dams(for oral sex on a vagina or anus) toprotect both of you from STIs andpregnancy.

● Check out our info oncontraception and STIs.

What to expectStill have lots of questions?

Here's some more info that mighthelp.

Will it hurt?For some people, first-time sex

can feel uncomfortable and mayhurt or sting a bit. For others,though, it’s comfy, fun andenjoyable from the get-go. It’s atotally individual experience.

What to do: Pain during sex maymean there’s not enoughlubrication to help things movesmoothly. If there’s not enoughnatural lubrication, this could befrom a lack of desire, from feelingnervous, or because things aremoving too fast. Medications,hormones, tiredness and illness canalso have an effect.

Try suggesting a differentposition, asking your partner toslow down, or using extralubrication.

Make sure it’s a water-basedlube if you’re using condoms, andALWAYS use extra lube for anal sex.If it hurts a lot, stop. Discuss withyour partner ways to make sexmore comfortable, or talk to yourGP if you’re concerned there mightbe something else going on.

and others take a very long time toreach orgasm, especially the firstfew times. It can take a while towork out what you both like, whatyou’re comfortable with, and whatfeels good. You’re not expected tobe a mind reader, so try to be openwith your partner and let themknow what does and doesn’t do itfor you.

We get that it’s not always easyto talk about this stuff, and it mighttake a while before you feel readyto discuss it. Remember: they’reprobably just as nervous as you are,and you both want to make eachother feel good.

AfterwardsAfter having sex for the first

time, you may feel really great,excited and close to your partner,because of all the hormones rushingthrough your body. It’s alsocommon to feel worried, confused,teary, or even a bit guilty. This couldbe because it was different fromwhat you expected, or it feels like abig deal, or you might feel unsureabout how it will affect yourrelationship.

Sex is a very personal thing, andcan feel really intimate, soexperiencing intense feelingsafterwards is understandable. Ifyou’re worried about what you’refeeling, talk it through with yourpartner, a trusted friend or familymember, or a mental healthprofessional.

What's the hymen?The hymen is a thin membrane

that surrounds the opening of thevagina. You may notice a little bit ofblood the first time you havevaginal sex if the hymen tears. Thisis normal. It’s equally normal not tohave any! If there is some bleedingfrom sex, it shouldn’t last very long.If it continues, visit your GP.

Will there be fireworks?First-time sex can be awesome,

or it may leave you feeling a bitdisappointed. It’s hard to tellbefore you do it. As with mostthings, good sex takes practice. Iffireworks don’t happen straight off,don’t stress. Everyone is different:some people don’t orgasm duringsex, some orgasm really quickly, We

IF YOU’RE IN ARELATIONSHIP, IT’SVERY IMPORTANT THATYOU TALK TO YOURPARTNER ABOUT HOWYOU BOTH FEEL, ANDTO MAKE SURE THATYOU BOTH CONSENT.SEXUAL CONSENTMUST BE EXPLICIT,WHICH MEANS THATBOTH PEOPLE SAY THATTHEY REALLY WANT TOHAVE SEX.


I t was due toth is ra in thatKaren had toseek a l i f t in a seniorco l league’s carwho honked atour gate a fewminutes ear l ierthan expectedand, in a panicnot to keep h imwait ing, Karenhad rushed downleav ing behindher s l ing bagcontain ing a l lher l i fe l ines – Imean her purse,mobi le, creditcard etc.

It was raining without abreak, not heavily butcouldn’t be called a

drizzle either. It wassomething between adrizzle and light showers tobe exact. Rains are alwayswelcome, especially aftera long scorching summerwhen not only the skybut your body also spitsfire in the form ofsweat. Now thisblissful but continuousrain has started gettingon my nerves. It wasdue to this rain thatKaren had to seek a liftin a senior colleague’scar who honked at ourgate a few minutes earlierthan expected and, in apanic not to keep himwaiting, Karen had rusheddown leaving behind hersling bag containing all herlifelines – I mean her purse,mobile, credit card etc. Bythe time I spotted the slingbag lying on a chair, it wastoo late to shout for her.She had gone too far awayto respond.

The last call made on hermobile was to the personshe was travelling with, Icalled on that number.Although she tried to soundnormal, I could detectembarrassment in her tone.

“It’s all right, Zuber. I’llmanage without my so-called lifelines. You needn’trush with my bag to myoffice in this lousy weather.

Beyond Imagination

What happened to Karen? By Kumud Bhatnagar

ShortStory

The last call made on her mobilewas to the person she was

travelling with, I called on thatnumber. Although she tried tosound normal, I could detectembarrassment in her tone.

If I don’t get a lift on myway back, I’ll ring you fromthe office landline to comedown with money to payfor my cab. I know it is noteasy to get a cab on a wetday but I’ll ask my officeboy to get me one and alsotry to be home early,” sheassured me and, before Icould ask her her officelandline number, shedisconnected.

Anyway, I knew thenames of a few

colleagues and was relievedto see their numbers listedin Karen’s mobile. I couldbe in touch with her now.

While I worked for fivedays a week, Karen workedon Saturdays too. OnSaturday I used to lazearound the house, take careof laundry and completeother pending errands, talkto my family back home,but today I was not in amood for all this. I don’tknow why but I wanted totalk to Karen. I knew it wasnot a done thing to call heron a colleague’s phone totell that I called just likethat.

Karen and I were livingtogether for the past twoyears. Ours could be calleda passionately loving buthassle-free existence. Wecared for one another butboth believed in givingspace to each other topursue our personalinterests. To avoid the‘whatever is yours is alsomine’ gospel, we wereavoiding the marriageitself. The marriage is notthe bonding of a coupleonly but two families aswell and we both were stillnot in that state of mind toshare our togethernesswith our relatives. Exceptfor informing about beinglate in coming home, we

would not phone during theworking hours. Nor did weever impose our friends oneach other but as we hadmet at a common friend’sparty who once had workedin Karen’s office and knewmany people there, I wasintroduced to a few ofKaren’s colleagues as well.Karen had once mentionedthat she used to sharelunch with Mona. Monawas listed in Karen’scontacts. I called Mona alittle before lunch time totell her that, as Karen won’tbe carrying her lunch or anymoney, to get it fromoutside.

“That’s really bad butdon’t worry, Zuber, most ofKaren’s colleagues are herbuddies, they won’t let herstarve…“

“What do you mean bythey?” I cut in. “What aboutyou, won’t you take care ofher?”

“How can I, Zuber? I amon an assignment in SanDiego and it is midnighthere.”

“Oh, so sorry Mona, fordisturbing you,” I hurriedlyrather awkwardly anddisconnected.

Now I was shying awayfrom calling anyone else inKaren’s office.

Although Mona assuredme that Karen was amidsther buddies, they wouldtake care of her, still I wasnot relieved. I wish I couldgo to her office but theproblem was how to reachthere? I don’t have a vehicleand public transportfacilities are almost non-existent in our far-flungnewly-developingresidential colony. Cabs areavailable for coming to thisplace but for going out onegot to take a lift from afriend or to wait for a cab tocome from the city. Both

the options seemed beyondreach today. My friend withwhom we both used totravel every day, hadstayed in the city itself forthe week-end. Standing onthe road to wait for avehicle in this wet spell wasa dicey proposition. Still Istood in my balcony in thehope of spotting a passingvehicle and shout, “stopplease.” Leave apart apassing vehicle, there wasnot any living objectmoving on the rain-soakedroad. Restlessly, I came inand stared at Karen’s

mobile, wondering if to callon one of the listednumbers.

It was getting lateenough to be worried. Ionce again stepped into thebalcony and looked down.There was not a soul to beseen anywhere. Rain waterhad puddled under thelamp post. A breeze ruffledthe mango tree in thecourtyard and a few twigsfell down and broke.Thunder rumbled in thedistance. Did I hear a softknock on the door? I turnedback…

How could anyoneknock? I didn’t see anybody

entering the gate. Therewas the knock again, a bitlouder this time. Ireluctantly opened thedoor. Lo and behold, therestood Karen, as neatlydressed as she was whenshe left in the morning!Even her shoes were notmud-stained.

“Have you come by achartered flight whichlanded straight in ourterrace?” I joked.

“Straight from the lift toa waiting taxi in thecovered parking of theoffice, then right in front ofour stairs and finally in yourarms,” she said embracingme. Brushing aside theurge to hold her tight in myarms, I said, “The cabbiemust be waiting. Howmuch should I pay him?”

“The cabbie is not there.It was a pre-paid taxi,arranged by the office,’ hervoice quivered as shelocked lips with mine andgently pushed me towardsthe bedroom.

Controling the urge topick her up in my arms

and take to bed, Isomehow, managed tountangle my lips and said,“Let me get you some teafirst.”

“No, no tea any more.Today I want nectar,nothing else but nectar,”she whispered huskilysucking my lips lustily andunbuttoning my shirt.

She was always anardent lover, an equalpartner in games of lovebut today it was different.She was sucking whatevershe could and ferventlykissing me all over the bodyas if there would be notomorrow. We wereinnovative lovers no doubt,and that’s why we hadopted for this isolated

I t was get t ing la teenough to bewor r ied . I onceaga in s tepped in tothe ba lcony andlooked down. Therewas not a sou l tobe seen anywhere .Ra in water hadpudd led under thelamp post . Abreeze ru f f l ed themango t ree in thecour tyard and a fewtw igs fe l l down andbroke .


big confusion to becleared.”

There was no response.‘She must be in the wash

room, I’ll ask her to hurry,’and pushing bedroom doorajar, I went in to knock atthe bathroom door but tomy utmost surprise it wasbolted from outside.

“She must be in thekitchen,” I darted towardsthe other end of the hall.The cops followed me.

The kitchen was darkand empty. I leapedtowards balcony. One copstopped me and said softly.“She won’t be there either.She is dead and you have tocome with us to claim herbody.”

“No, no, she’s very muchalive. Of course, she hadhired a cab but reachedhome safely and was withme till you came.”

“Then where’s shenow?” the other copdemanded. “And whosephotograph is this? Look,my sympathies are withyou but I can’t shirk myduty and have to take youwith us.”

I was too benumbed toprotest and followed themto their jeep. Lying on astrecher was a lifeless butstill ravishingly beautifulbody of Karen. There wasno injury mark to be seenanywhere. She seemed tobe sleeping soundly.

“It is a case of instantdeath due to a powerfuljolt resulting in an internalhead injury,” a doctorexplained. Whatever it was,it was hard for me tobelieve that Karen was notwith me when the copscalled. My family took meto many renownedpsychiatrists who all failedto answer my one question,“Can one have sex with adead person?” We

house in this far-flungcolony. The landlord livingon the ground floor stayedout of the country most ofthe time, as there was noother house on the eitherside and no peeping Tomsaround, we bothuninhibitedly used to roamthrough the house likeproverbial Adam and Eve.We would enjoy sun bathsduring the winters andmoon baths on everymoon-lit night in summerson the terrace.

“We so far haven’t havea rain dance. How about itright now?” I whispered inher ears.

“For that we need to goto the terrace and you willcome out of me. That Idon’t want, not now, nortonight perhaps. Come,come deeper inside me,”she implored impatiently.

I don’t know how longwe remained in that blissfultogetherness and hadremained so had thetranquility was been not

I nodded.“Then you have to come

with us…““But why and where?

What has she done?”“Nothing. Look, the taxi

this lady was travelling in,was hit on the rear by a bus.She died on the spot butthe driver survived. Thelady was not having anybag or any other identitymark and we couldn’tcontact your earlier. Thedriver regainedconciousness some timeback and recalled that hewas going to drop that ladyon this address...”

I couldn’t control mylaughter.

“For your kindinformation, the lady youclaim to be dead is verymuch alive and kickingaround. Please come in andsee for yourself,” I invitedthem in and shouted forKaren, “Will you pleasecome out, Karen. There’s a

“Who, who are you and who gave you this photograph?” I

stammered.“We are from M.G.Road police station. Do you

know this lady?”

shredded with the shrillringing of call bell.

“Who could it be?” Imuttered. I felt Karengetting stiffened under me.The bell rang louder, thistime accompanied bybanging on the door too.Cursing under my breath, Iwore a pair of shorts,without caring for my bareruffled hair, I opened thedoor. Two tall grim lookingmen were standing there.

One of them showed aphoto, “Does this lady livehere?” I was taken aback,that was snapshot of Karen.

“Who, who are you andwho gave you thisphotograph?” I stammered.

“We are from M.G. Roadpolice station. Do you knowthis lady?”

Okay, so your eight-year-old'ssix-monthly class test resultsare due today and you are

hopeful, yet anxious (though thelittle guy ISN’T!!) He is his usualcheerful self, running around thehouse pretending he is an airplanewhile you are the one facing theheebie-jeebies worrying about hismarks and grades etc. and whetherhe will fare better than your friend'sson. Does this sound familiar? Ofcourse it does, because youwouldn't be a true-blue Mom if itdidn’t!! Now whoever said thatparenting is the world’s mostsatisfying job......the most joyousever.......blah-blah-blah.....Hadactually lost it. Let’s talk reality—itis the scariest endeavour anywoman can take on!! Tell me,which Mom hasn’t ever erupted likea volcano when the going has beenreal tough and compared her childto another who she thought was“so much better”?

StopComparing YourChild to Others

"Mom, Let Me Be Who I Am!!”.....

Why do parents compare thier children. By Dr. RUMY AGARWAL


And then, a minute later, wishedshe could stuff the hot-lava wordsback into her mouth? It happens allthe time, and any Mom who hasn’tdone it is a saint or a martyr!

Well, to be fair to Moms,comparison is a common enoughapproach to ascertain theperformance of your child. Youcompare your child’s grades withothers (“Look, Komal Aunty’s sonsecured 98% in Maths” or “Yourfriend Vaibhav stood first inrecitation competition”- thesestatements are not aimed to hurtyour child but, unfortunately, theydo) and then determine whetheryour kid’s academic achievementsare “normal”, better or excellent.To tell the truth, comparing yourchild with other kids actuallystresses out both mother and child,but even with that knowledge, theurge is hard to resist. This does NOTmean that we shouldn't point outour child’s mistakes and help himimprove, but anything beyond thisis overkill.

It's natural for parents tocompare their kids, asking otherMoms how old their kids are so thatthey can see how their child stacksup, to look for a frame of referenceabout their milestones and thoughit might seem appropriate to hold

out a sibling or friend as a rolemodel, comparisons almost alwaysbackfire, because to constantlyharangue him about how muchbetter others are will do nothingbut give the child an inferioritycomplex.

This habit of comparing kids isfairly common and often beginswith developmental milestones. Asnew parents especially, we'reconcerned about our own babyhitting those established marks "ontime." The comparison game oftencontinues once our children enterschool. Instead of developmentalmilestones, we now have academicbenchmarks by which to measureour children.

We somehow tend to forget thatchildhood is NOT a race to the top;children develop at their own pace.Yet parents often worry becausetheir child isn't walking at the sameage that their friend's child did, orhas a much smaller vocabulary.There really isn't a set timetable fora child's development, kids dothings in their own good time.

COMPARE TO EXCEL:HEALTHY COMPARISON

Most of the time we compareour child with others simply tomotivate him to compete, so thathe pushes his limits and fires on allcylinders to excel. But does thiswork for your child, is a questionyou need to ask yourself. Childrenhave different talents, interests andstrengths and develop at differentrates. My elder son was excellent atstudies and had a memory like anelephant, so that he could recite offlengthy poems and speecheswithout a flaw and I constantly hadto put up with the complaints ofjealous and unhappy mothers ofother children in his class becausemy son was the teachers' firstchoice for any debate or elocutioncompetition. BUT as luck andgenetics would have it, my

THIS HABIT OFCOMPARING KIDS ISFAIRLY COMMON ANDOFTEN BEGINS WITHDEVELOPMENTALMILESTONES. AS NEWPARENTS ESPECIALLY,WE'RE CONCERNEDABOUT OUR OWN BABYHITTING THOSEESTABLISHED MARKS"ON TIME."


● If you feel that your childcould perform better in school, tryand sit him down and ask himwhat you can do to help himwithout having to bring up hisfriend who happens to get bettergrades.

● Tell him that you know thathe can do better and find ways ofmaking him work harder withoutmaking him feel like he isn't asgood as someone else. After all,every child has differentcapabilities and learns at differentpaces.

● Learn what works best to get

your child to work harder withoutmaking him feel second rate. Bydoing so, your child will feel lessstressed and he is bound toperform better.

Too often, parents see earlydevelopment as a sign ofintelligence or a reflection of goodparenting, but it's neither. Besides,how would you like it if your childsaid, “Why can’t you be more likeRahul’s Mom ? She nevercompares him to anyone!" Stopcomparing NOW and enjoyparenting your child—after all,he/she is God’s special gift to you!! We

younger son, who too excelled inacademics, did not have this specialability for stage performances, and Iregret to say that sometimes I didwish that he was more like hisbrother. But good sense prevailedover me at such times and I let himdo what he was best at. I did not letmy own self-worth hinge on hisaccomplishments.

There is a whole body ofresearch to prove why weshouldn’t compare:-

● 'You're so ......as compared toso-and-so'-- Labels are shortcutsthat short-change kids who believewhat they hear without question,even when it's about themselves.So negative labels can become aself-fulfilling prophecy.

● When we compareour children to others –we lower their self-esteem. We convey tothem that they are notgood enough.

● Being pressured todo something a child isnot ready for (ordoesn't like to do) canbe confusing to the kidand can undermine hisself-confidence. Socomparison causesinsecurity.

● Kids develop attheir own pace andhave their owntemperament andpersonality. Comparingyour child to someone else impliesthat you wish yours were different.It makes the child feel that he is notworthy of your love unless he doeswhat the child they are beingcompared to does.

● As soon as the comparisonsstart, our children just tune us out.They don't hear that we want themto be better; they only hear thatthey're not good enough. Alwayscomparing your child to someoneelse is bound to stress him out. Hemay feel the need to overworkhimself to gain your approval andthis is highly damaging to his well-being.

● Comparison kills contentment -As a parent, if you constantlycompare your own child to otherchildren, you may start feeling yourchild isn't good enough. You must,therefore, learn to appreciate yourchild and accept his capabilities.Parenting is already a tough job,and comparing your child to otherchildren will just make it tougher.

● Comparison breedsresentment towards other children.Being compared to other childrenmay cause your kid to developfeelings of hatred and jealousytowards other kids.

● It will damage the parent-childrelationship. If you tell your childtime and again that the neighbour’skid is better than him, he willeventually start despising you.

Children are emotionallyvulnerable. They may not beable to see the bigger pictureand that you are concerned forthem. Instead, they will feelthat you are not on their side.

● As it turns out, comparingyour child to other childrenhurts parents just as much as ithurts children.

KIDS DEVELOP AT THEIROWN PACE AND HAVETHEIR OWNTEMPERAMENT ANDPERSONALITY.COMPARING YOURCHILD TO SOMEONEELSE IMPLIES THATYOU WISH YOURS WEREDIFFERENT. IT MAKESTHE CHILD FEEL THATHE IS NOT WORTHY OFYOUR LOVE UNLESS HEDOES WHAT THE CHILDTHEY ARE BEINGCOMPARED TO DOES.

Here's what you Can do;-Here's what you Can do;-

As corona virus outbreak hasshown, life can changeinstantaneously and

unpredictably. Moreover, newrealities like temporaryunemployment, social isolation anduncertainty about future along withthe threat of scary virus is affectingthe lives of many in a significantmanner.

The feeling of vulnerability dueto sudden change in life maycatalyse stress, anxiety, fear andsadness and one can possibly think,say or do things that one might notconsider appropriate under normalcircumstances.

Why we often fail acknowledgeour negative emotions?

Why we forget that sometimesfeeling vulnerable andoverwhelmed is completely normal?

In fact, uncertainty is a naturaland inescapable part of life andthere is very little in our lives that isconstant or totally certain. Hence,in a situation like this isn’t it wiserto refocus our mind over theaspects within our control? Whatcan we do to better deal withuncontrollable circumstances, andface the unknown with moreconfidence?

Here are things you can do toembrace uncertainty and increaseresiliency during the pandemic.

Self-care, a necessity not luxury

Someone rightly said, “Youcannot serve others from an emptyvessel.” We often forget to takecare of ourselves while fulfillingeveryone else’s needs, ignoring the

fact that one needs to put onoxygen mask on oneself first beforehelping others to do the same.

It is important to keep yourbody healthy by eating a well-balanced diet and drinking plenty offluids. It also helps in improvingimmune system and preventsinfections. Get enough sleep as arelaxed and sound sleep not onlyimproves immune function but alsoreduces stress and anxiety. Even Ifyou are unable to get back to yourprevious exercise routine, trysimple indoor exercises, deepbreathing and yoga to relax andrecharge.

A relaxed mind can answer all questions

Is it necessary to consult Googlefor every itch and sneeze? Or spendyour richly- deserved ME time inobsessing over endless coronaviruscoverage on news channels? Thereare healthier ways to deal withunpredictability- that begins withadjusting the mindset.

Write down all the things in yourlife that you are thankful for.Choose to focus on positive things.

Research shows that countingblessings not only helps peoplelower stress but also improves theirinterpersonal relationships. Recitepositive affirmations and maintain asense of hope.

Even if you are staying at homekeep your regular routine for meals,bedtime, study and exercise.Predictability of your activitiesmakes you feel more in control. Setreasonable goals and outline stepsyou can take to reach those goals.Then work to accept changes. For astronger footing, draw strengthfrom a belief system or spiritual life.

When you’re feeling down, find asafe and controlled way toacknowledge and express yourdifficult emotions like writing themdown in a journal, talking to a friendor practising meditation.

Connecting with others is reward

A study from Harvard hasreported that Social connectivity isthe greatest determinant ofwellbeing. In the time of socialisolation and quarantine, it isimportant to remain connectedwith friends, family members orneighbours in different ways thanusual. Make virtual connections byemail, text or phone. And if anytimeyou want to strut your stuff, what isthe better than zoom parties?

Always remember thatsometimes good things happen inlife out of the blue like a surprisegift from a loved one. So, let’sembrace uncertainty and convert itinto an opportunity for self-transformation.

Better Dealing withUncertainty

Feeling vulnerable is normal.By Shalini Bhardwaj

IT IS IMPORTANT TOKEEP YOUR BODYHEALTHY BY EATING AWELL-BALANCED DIETAND DRINKING PLENTYOF FLUIDS. IT ALSOHELPS IN IMPROVINGIMMUNE SYSTEM ANDPREVENTS INFECTIONS. We


You must have heard thisdebate on happiness vssatisfaction a thousand

times, but did you ever try tounderstand the difference betweenthese two states of mind?Happiness and satisfaction areintertwined, but never the same. Toknow the difference, you mustunderstand the meaning of theseconcepts.

What makes you happy? Doesthe thing that makes you feel happymake you feel satisfied as well? Willyou ever be able to experiencesatisfaction even if you’re nothappy, or vice versa? We all searchfor things that make us happy, andsomehow, we don’t feel satisfied.Maybe you think if you had a biggerhouse, a bigger car, a hot date, thenyou’d feel happy – we always cravefor more.

Why We All Long for MoreWhen we experience a moment

of happiness, we often want evenmore, right? Happiness feels like anitch we can’t quite scratch enoughor a bucket we can never fill up.

The answer to getting morehappiness is in shifting the way welook at happiness itself. Happinessis a feeling. It’s temporary. It comesand goes. While happiness is joy andpure pleasure, it’s momentary. Wemay experience happy andtranscendent moments, but theypass. Then we shift back to our“regular” state. Some people arehappier than others, and every one

HappinessSatisfactionVs

Which One Should We Seek? By Himshikha Shukla

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● Our levels of happiness re brokendown into three states:

● Hedonic happiness● Happiness of engagement● Happiness of meaning and

purposeHedonic happiness is a quick fix.

It’s a joke, a treat, or an escape.

When we experience hedonichappiness, we’re getting amomentary smile. It’s fun, we feelgood, then it passes, and we’re onto the next moment. Many peoplesettle on the concept of hedonichappiness, but it never reallyscratches their itch for more.

The happiness of engagement isthe joy of connecting with others ingenuine engagement. If we think ofengagement as a continuum, wemove across it, having moments ofdisengagement, mis-engagement,superficial engagement, and deep,intimate connections movingtoward the ultimate transformativeengagement. The happiness ofengagement exists in the deeperend of the spectrum—where we’regenuinely connecting, listening,learning, and working with anotherperson toward something greaterthan ourselves.

The happiness of meaning andpurpose is where satisfaction exists.This is the more profound sense ofpurpose we get from a life wherewe’re mindful, engaged, turned on,and tuned in to the world around us.While we may not always feelhedonic happiness, if we’re living alife oriented toward purpose andmeaning, our satisfaction willbecome a greater joy and fulfillment.

What is satisfaction? Satisfaction is a state of mind

when your desires and needs aremet. It is a state of innercontentment, meaning you are notstuck in the endless pursuit to buymore things in life. It is the feelingthat you get when you spend yourdays doing things that areimportant to you or meansomething to you.

Satisfaction is in the here andnow, whereas happiness is oftensomething you imagine will besomewhere else. Satisfaction, orhappiness from meaning andpurpose, arrives when we’re in thestate of flow. A person is capable ofhappiness or misery regardless ofwhat’s going on around them,through their consciousness andmindset.

SOME PEOPLE AREHAPPIER THANOTHERS, AND EVERYONE OF US HAS AHAPPINESS SET POINT.SATISFACTION IS ASTATE OF BEING, IT’SLASTING AND INFINITE.SATISFACTION COMESFROM FINDING APURPOSE ANDEMBRACING OUR SENSEOF PURPOSE IN ALLASPECTS OF OUR LIVES.

of us has a happiness set point.On the other hand, satisfaction is

a state of being; it’s lasting andinfinite. Satisfaction comes fromfinding a purpose and embracingour sense of purpose in all aspectsof our lives.

Here is the difference betweenhappiness and satisfaction.

What is happiness? Happiness is defined as a state of

mind as well as an emotion. It isabout how you feel at the moment.It can be defined as a momentaryexperience that is pleasant, feelsextremely good. Your dopaminelevels are high at that moment. Theonly bad thing is that it goes awayas the moment passes.

This concept keeps people fromembracing the present and living inthe moment. We may missopportunities in the presentbecause we’re so busy trying to findsomething we can’t find or chasingsomething fleeting.


IF YOU THINKHAPPINESS WILL COMEFROM SOMEWHEREELSE, YOU’RE MISSINGTHE MARK. THE IDEAWE CAN “FINDHAPPINESS” OR WESHOULD MOVE FROMOPERA TO OPERA,SEEKING HAPPINESSOUT, KEEPS US FROMEMBRACING THESATISFACTION WECOULD DISCOVER.

We

Many people think if they couldobtain more, they would feel happy.If they had a bigger house, theywould feel satisfied. If they got thecorner office, an attractive partner,or a book deal, they’d feel fulfilled.The truth is, happiness isn’t afeeling we buy or get from others.It’s not about our achievements orchecking a task off our to-do list.Happiness isn’t a promotion, thelottery, or even a hot date.

Flow is the moment whennothing else matters over whatwe’re doing. It’s when we’reconcentrating fully on our task, andthere’s no room to worry or thinkabout distractions.

Flow is where we get lost in themoment. Time seems to fly by andsimultaneously stop because we’reso engaged.

But when people report on theorigins of their satisfaction, it’s

often correlated to their job. Workgives people their sense of purposeand meaning. This sense of purposeand meaning gives them the highestlevel of happiness. It’s often in theirwork where people experience the

state of flow. Flow can also comefrom building our relationships andconnections with others. It’s whenwe’re really clicking, we’re deeplyengaged, and we’re fully immersedin the moment.

Now, satisfaction and flow don’tcome from a state of continuallydoing or from immersing ourselvesin busywork. Satisfaction is a stateof being. The most satisfied peoplein the world live with a sense ofpurpose. They’re living in the hereand now, concerning themselveswith the greater good and theirimpact on the world around them.They aren’t busy; they’re engaged.

Happiness Vs SatisfactionIf you think happiness will come

from somewhere else, you’remissing the mark. The idea we can“find happiness” or we shouldcontinuously move from opera toopera, seeking happiness out, keepsus from embracing the satisfactionwe could discover in the here andnow.

The opportunities are right infront of us. If we want moremeaning and satisfaction in ourlives, it doesn’t come from treatingourselves or sitting around on thecouch, binging on Netflix.Satisfaction comes from challengingourselves. It’s when we’re engaged,stimulated, and discovering.

It comes from tackling the nextassignment in our life, and fromworking toward the next mountain,and then the next.

If you are wondering which oneis important for you – it depends onyour beliefs and ideology. You canfind happiness in little things in life.For instance, eating your favouriteice-cream can make you feel happy,but if deep down, you are feelingguilty, then you will not feelsatisfied.

You will achieve satisfactiononce your source of happiness orsuccess is aligned with your innerbeliefs and the way you view theworld. Being satisfied means doingwork that feels meaningful to you.So, in a way, aiming at satisfaction is a better way to do things.

Adapt These Food Habits To Control High Blood Pressure. By Aditi Gupta

Guide to a

Healthy DietA

recent report in New Yorkindicated that 95% ofindividuals with

hypertension were totallyasymptomatic. High BP ischaracterized as a systolic BP of atleast 140 and a diastolic BP of atleast 90. This implies you can neverrealize that you have high BP. As peran investigation led in India anddistributed in 2019, thecommonness of high BP in thepublic arena proposes that 22% ofindividuals younger than 20 arehypertensive, 44% of individualsmatured 20 to 44 are hypertensive,and 50 of those 45 or moreestablished % People arehypertensive.

The above figures show thathypertension is exceptionallycommon in the public eye and itscommonness increments withexpanding age.

Now and again there might behidden causes in experiencinghypertension, hypertension can beadjusted by remedying thesereasons. In spite of the fact that thecauses are obscure in the largerpart, hypertension is because ofexpanding age and firmness ofblood vessel musculature.

Different elements lead toexpanded blood vesselmusculature, which prompts issuesin circulatory strain, diabetes,dyslipidemia, smoking, corpulence,absence of physical movement, andso forth. Excessive salt intake andincorrect eating are also risk factorsfor high blood pressure.

Hypertension (high bloodpressure) is likely to happen whenyou're overweight. Aeroplane Riceis easy to digest and it has lesssaturated fats and has goodcholesterol as compared to otherfoods. Hence, it is good for hearthealth.

A research has been finishedwith respect to food propensitiesand hypertension. Great dietarypatterns additionally decrease thedanger of diabetes, corpulence,dyslipidemia, which are answerablefor hypertension.

Be that as it may, you don't need


to stress since you can forestall orcontrol hypertension by embracingthe accompanying foodpropensities. Dr. Santosh KumarDora, Senior Cardiologist, AsianHeart Institute, Mumbai, hasinformed concerning thesenourishments. Low Salt Intake

The World Health Organizationconsiders expending in excess of 5grams of salt a day is awful forwellbeing. This causes watermaintenance and solidifying of theblood vessel musculature causeshypertension. Countless clinicalexaminations found a diminishing inpulse because of an abatement insalt admission. Decreasing theadmission of 3 grams of salt a daylessens the systolic BP by 5.6 mmHg. The American Heart Associationdoesn't suggest the admission ofmore than 2.3 grams of salt a day inindividuals experiencinghypertension.

Intake of Fruits andVegetables

Studies have indicated that theutilization of products of the soillessens pulse. WHO suggests at anyrate 5 servings of products of thesoil day by day, while diminishingunsaturated and all out fatadmission and including sound fats,for example, olive oil, nuts andseeds. Such an eating regimendecreases systolic BP by 8 to 14 mmHg by and large. Foods grown fromthe ground give expanded dietarypotassium which decreases BP.

Whole Grains Entire grains, for example, oats,

grain, millet, rye, quinoa, earthycolored rice, earthy colored breadand so on have every one of the 3layers including endosperm, germsand wheat. These not just givesugars a low glycemic list, yet inaddition give a lot of fiber,potassium and differentsupplements. This causes pulse todiminish. It additionally has othermedical advantages, for example,diabetes, stoutness and malignantgrowth avoidance .

Omega-3 Fatty Acid Cholesterol, unsaturated fat,

hydrogenated trans fat areatherogenic and incrementhypertension. Interestingly,monounsaturated andpolyunsaturated unsaturated fatsare useful for wellbeing. Omega-3polyunsaturated unsaturated fatshelp to lessen pulse. Non-veg eatershave the alternative of fish and fishoil as omega-3 unsaturated fats andwedge eaters have the choice offlax seed, pecans, soybeans, chiaseeds, and so forth.

Vitamins and mineralenhancements

Low nutrient D is identified withhypertension. Low degrees ofdifferent minerals, for example,

magnesium, zinc, potassium and soforth are likewise connected withhypertension. Taking enough ofthese nutrients and mineralsdecreases circulatory strain.Utilization of solid food when all issaid in done satisfies theinsufficiency of every one of thesenutrients and minerals. Be that as itmay, if the insufficiency is high,enhancements can likewise betaken notwithstanding food to helpdiminish circulatory strain.

Diet plan DASH (Dietary Approach to

Prevent High Blood Pressure) is awell known eating regimen intendto battle high BP. This incorporatesnatural products, vegetables,moderate measures of entiregrains, beats, lean meats, fish, lowfat dairy items, nuts, and so forth. Alow salt eating routine (under 5grams of salt for every day) isadditionally a significant necessity.You have to maintain a strategicdistance from fat, seared things,egg yolk, organ (liver, kidney) andnon veg food. Systolic circulatorystrain can be diminished from 8 to14 mm Hg by ordinary admission ofthe DASH diet.

Sound eating routineencourages you to control pulse. Inthis way, it is imperative to focus ondiet alongside your medicines.

WHO SUGGESTS AT ANY RATE 5 SERVINGSOF PRODUCTS OF THE

SOIL DAY BY DAY,WHILE DIMINISHINGUNSATURATED AND

ALL OUT FATADMISSION AND

INCLUDING SOUNDFATS, FOR EXAMPLE,OLIVE OIL, NUTS AND

SEEDS.

We

beads are part of a girl’s trousseau.Bangles called choodiyan,

kangan, bangdya are made of glass,metal, plastic, lac, wood and manyother materials. Each region has itsown brand of bangles. Hyderabad isknown for its pearl bangles.Firozabad in Uttar Pradesh is India'slargest producer of bangles.

A bangle is significantly distinctand different from a bracelet.Whereas a bracelet is often wornloose and is removable by using alatch, bangles are round and wornfrom the palm. Bracelets can beworn single on only one hand whilebangles are worn in multiples orone on each arm. They are solid andfirm. Some bangles have smalllatches on them to facilitatewearing them if the lady’s wrist ishard and the bangles cannot goover them.

There are many varieties ofbangles. They may come in onecolour or multiple colours, can bethin or thick, can have intricatebeadwork done on them, or filigreework, or even thin lines in variouscolours and sizes and shapes. Eacharea has its own variety of bangles.Diamonds, pearls, gems may beused to enhance their beauty. Everydesigner tries to bring outsomething new and attractive.

BANGLES: PART OFINDENTITY

For an Indian lady, bangles arenot only ornaments or accessories;they are part of her identity, part ofher culture and part of her maritalstatus. Bangles are also used tomake colourful bags, to decorateGoddesses in South India and in artwork.

There is also a scientific fact forusing bangles. The constant frictionof the bangles on the wrist whiledoing household work increasesthe blood circulation. Also becauseof the round shape of the bangles,the energy and electricity passingthrough the outer skin goes backinto the body as there is no outletfor them, it is said.

Our ancestors were very wisewhen they made such rules. Earpiercing, nose piercing, wearinganklets also have a scientific reasonbesides the ornamental view andtradition. Acupuncture of ear lobesand nostrils have a healthy effect, itis said.

Indian culture has many rulesand regulations regarding dress,ornaments, behavior etc. and thesehave been well thought out by ourancestors. And they enforced all histhrough rules which we shouldfollow.

BanglesIntegral part of our lives. By Dr Veena Mohan Adige

Bangles have been an integralpart of an Asian girl’s lifesince times immemorial.

Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, SriLankans all women wear bangles.And love them. Beautifullycoloured, delicate or thick ones,designed or plain, bangles are partof our culture. The statues found inMohenjo-Daro and Harappaciviliations also show womenwearing bangles since prehistorictimes.

The sweet sound of the tinklingof bangles often heralded the entryof a girl and was also used as anonverbal communication whenwomen were shy and bashful.Wearing bangles is also considereda part of the solah shringar of awoman. Colourful bangles tastefullyadorned on delicate wrists arethings of beauty which are a joyforever.

More than beauty, bangles havebeen considered traditionally a signof womanhood. Girls and marriedladies often have a certainsymmetry, a certain colourcombination to showcase theirbangles. In Maharashtra, goldbangles interspersed with greenbangles are a sign of married life,often newly married. In thenorthern part of the country, aplethora of red and white banglesworn as chooda during marriageand presented by mama(mother’s brother) is wornfor a certain period of time,generally forty days aftermarriage.

In Bengal and Orissa, aspecial type of white andred bangles signifymarried women.

In South India,gold bangles withintricate gem stones or

THERE IS ALSO ASCIENTIFIC FACT FORUSING BANGLES. THECONSTANT FRICTIONOF THE BANGLES ONTHE WRIST WHILEDOING HOUSEHOLDWORK INCREASES THEBLOOD CIRCULATION.

We

They were planning tocelebrate their firstanniversary.

Everything was arrangedexcept the cake which hadto be ordered two daysbefore. After a goodscolding from his wife,Sujoy had gone out toorder the cake. Before hewent, he planted a kiss onher cheek saying, “You looktempting when you areangry.” He had winked atRitu who made a face inreturn. After his bikevanished round the cornerRitu smiled to herself andclosed the door. She wasperfectly happy.

She went in to take aquick shower when her

phone rang. Now he willask the colour of the cake Isuppose, she thought. Shecame out cladding herselfin a towel and received thecall from Sujoy.

“Now what?”“Mam, I have found this

phone from…”“Wait wait. This is my

husband’s phone. Who areyou?”

“He had an accident. Wehave admitted him toGreen Valley NursingHome. Please comeas…….are you there?”

“Is he okay? He will beokay, right?”

“Please come quickly.And safely please”

The phone slipped from

her trembling fingers. Shefelt weak and blank. Shesat on the floor andcomposed herself to facethe situation. Then she gotup to dress and called theman back to say needfulthings before she reachesthere. Suddenly her eyesmet herself in the mirror.She saw herself clad in awhite-towel and her sindoordripping all over her face .She shivered at the omen.

“It is a case of spotdeath“, said the doctor tothe police.

“Claim the bike after fivedays with all the papers.”

“Didn’t he have ahelmet? We could findnone.”

“Did he always ride athigh speed?”

All comments andquestions jumbled up in theair. Ritu found herself blindfor a few minutes. Then shecould see in blurred visionher Sujoy with fresh stainsof blood all over his blueshirt. She came close andtouched his hand.. sheremembered a slight cutused to make Sujoy broodover it the whole day.

“So many injuries allover.. How did he endure?Was it too painful?” shepondered.

Her white sari loudlyannounced her loss. Ritusaw her relatives andneighbours coming in andplacing flowers in front ofher husband’s photo.Everyone whispered andcrowded the place. Somecame and consoled her.Some were crying too. She

How d id i t end? By Shiny Hoque

Sujoy’s Fate

ShortStory

She mourned: ‘Come backSujoy , come back!’

The silence of the night wastorn apart by her helpless

appeal. She felt like she woulddie. Still she was unable to cry.

Suddenly her eyesmet herself in themirror. She sawherself clad in awhite-towel and hersindoor dripping allover her face. Sheshivered at theomen.

Breast cancer is the mostfrequent cancer amongwomen, impacting 2.1 million

women each year, and also causesthe greatest number of cancer-related deaths among womenworldwide. In 2018, it is estimatedthat 60,000 women died frombreast cancer in India alone. Indiahas far lower survival rates of 66percent for breast cancer whencompared to 90 percent in USA. Inorder to improve breast canceroutcomes and survival, earlydetection is imperative. Indianwomen often develop the morebreast cancer at a much youngerage. At the time of detection, thecancer is often in advanced stagesresulting in more aggressivetreatments and poorer outcomes.Lack of nationwide screeningprogram makes detection of breastcancer, even before development ofany symptoms, an unrealistic goal.Even among the educated or theurban population, only a few areaware of the early signs andsymptoms of breast cancer.Attention to routine breastexamination by oneself as well as bya doctor is still dismal.

What is breast cancer?Cancer occurs when changes

called mutations let the cellsmultiply in an uncontrolled andabnormal way. Breast cancer formsin either the lobules or the ducts ofthe breast. Lobules are the glandsthat produce milk, and ducts are thepathways that bring the milk fromthe glands to the nipple. Theuncontrolled cancer cells invadeother healthy breast tissue and cantravel to the lymph nodes under thearms. The lymph nodes are aprimary pathway that help thecancer cells move to other parts ofthe body.

Important thing to note is thatwhile it is critical to get all lumpsinvestigated by a doctor, one shouldknow that not all lumps arecancerous. This can be avoided byperforming a scar less and a lessinvasive procedure like VABB.

Early diagnosisConventionally, the cancer is

diagnosed by breast examinationtechniques, imaging tests, surgicalbiopsy, nipple discharge cytologyand others. Advancement inmedical sciences have made lesserinvasive diagnosis possible bymaking use of newer technologieslike Vacuum Assisted Breast Biopsy(VABB) which promised accuratediagnosis as well as help in theremoval of benign lesions.

VABB - a new ray of hope forpatients

VABB has been a game changerin clinical practice. It is an accurateone-step procedure that hassimplified diagnosis of breast cancerand even precursors of breastcancer that earlier neededadmission, general anaesthesia andsurgery. It is performed with thehelp of ultrasound, mammogram orMRI. Suspicious area of any size anddepth can be accurately targetedusing a mechanized VABB needle-suction apparatus. Through a singleentry, the needle is guided andpositioned under image guidance toassist in the withdrawal of a seriesof large samples from the lump in a360-degree manner.

VABB reduces underestimationof cancerous disease, re-biopsyrates and number of surgeries forwomen with cancerous lumps. Ithas the potential to diagnose andeven treat benign diseases thatcause bloody or watery nippledischarge without missing a hidden

Scarless diagnostic biopsy and excision of breast lumps are possible!

cancer. Its role in certain small non-cancerous lumps is also worthy ofmention since VABB can avoidsurgery, scarring and disfigurementof breasts. Compared to surgicalexcision VABB showed significantlylower rates of operative andrecovery times, blood loss, as wellas wound infections.

In a nutshell, VABB is minimallyinvasive which provides definitivediagnosis, does not require stitches,can be done in less than an hour andpatients can resume normal activitywithin a few days and the costs aremuch lesser than a surgicalprocedure conducted in anoperation theatre. There is nohospital stay, and the biggestadvantage is that it leaves no scar.

Detection procedure backed by evidence

There is enough evidence of thesafety and efficacy of VABB indiagnostic biopsies as well asexcisions of small benign lumps.VABB has been approved by FDA(USA) as well as NICE (NationalInstitute for Health and CareExcellence, UK). VABB hasconsistently shown high satisfactionand lower pain perception onseveral patient surveys.

Procedures like VABB arechanging the way a diagnosis isarrived at in case of suspiciousbreast lumps. Technologicaladvancements can not only improvethe chances of arriving at anaccurate diagnosis but also assist inimproving the quality of care.

Dr Geeta Kadayaprath, Director- Breast Surgery Unit at

Max Super Speciality Hospital, Delhi.

To get more details on VABB technology, please write [email protected]


didn’t remember who.People suggested her to cryotherwise she would fallsick. But she failed to cry.For how many long hoursthis went on she did notcount, neither did shewatch the clock. Everyoneleft at last. She allowednobody to stay back. Therewas no need of that.

As the last person hadleft she closed the door andlocked it. She walked to hisphoto and threw theflowers away.

She mourned: ‘Comeback Sujoy , come back!’

The silence of the nightwas torn apart by herhelpless appeal. She feltlike she would die. Still shewas unable to cry.

After two days the cakearrived as ordered. It

was around 11 pm. Sheblamed her god and wentout in rage. She wanted tosmash the cake there onthe spot from where godhad decided to take away

Someone camefrom the back andpulled her sari. Sheturned around indefence. The madferocious look in hereyes made the twoboys afraid.

She turned around indefence. The mad ferociouslook in her eyes made thetwo boys afraid. One wasaround ten and anotherwas around three years old.Ritu softened her face but ithardened again when shesaw something. The olderboy was holding Sujoy’shelmet. She grabbed him.

“How did you get this?”“My brother,” pointing

towards the small boy,”picked it up after theaccident when no one waslooking at it. Please don’ttell the police, we have noone to save us. It cameflying with speed andthrashed on that tree.”

Possible . Sujoy had abad habit of letting thestrap of his helmet loose.Ritu reached for it when thesmaller kid started to cry.

“What happened?”“He wants to play with

it.”The little one looked at

her wistfully. As if she hadsnatched away all hishappiness, his eyes werefilled with a hungrydeprived look.

She asked the kid tocome to her. She made himsit on her lap andsaid,”Where is your mom?”

He pointed towards hiselder brother who was thensitting on a cemented pipe.

“She is dead. Our auntymakes us beg and takesaway all the money.”

She gave him thehelmet and kissed him onhis forehead. The boy wassurprised at first and thenwas frantically happy. Hesmiled wide and innocent.He was so happy to recievea little bit of love that hehugged her tightly with hislittle arms around her neck.Something changed insideRitu. She could feel theheavy ice melting. Tears

emerged from the dry eyes.

She started to cry – firstslowly, then loudly. It

was midnight and luckilynobody came. The dimstreet light lit up the placewhere Sujoy had taken hislast breath. Ritu curledherself up lying on theharsh road. She cried herheart out. She wept andwept till there was no moreenergy in her to cry. Thetwo innocent boys pattedher on her head, tried tosoothe her and even cut apiece of cake to feed her.The older boy broughtsome water in a plastic teacup. Her heart wranglingtears soaked the same dustwhich perhaps had storedthe tears of her other half.They met somehow andcalmed her down. Sheaccepted the truth finallyand turned towards home.Before that, she fed thekids with the happy piecesof cake.

The empty packetwandered around asdirected by the wind.Night turned into dawn.The road was washed bythe municipality water.Somewhere an industrialwhistle was blown. A not-so-common newspaperpublished a small articlenamed “ a bike accident” inthe corner of theiradvertisement’ page. Agroup of men sat it a teastall on the road.

While they searchedtheir newspapers to readabout yesterday’saccident, a man came upand read the article loudly.They had their daily teaand went for theirrespective works.

The road remainedlying there with allpatience of the universe.And life moved on. We

The little one looked at herwistfully. As if she had snatchedaway all his happiness, his eyes

were filled with a hungry deprivedlook. She asked the kid to cometo her. She made him sit on her

lap and said,”Where is yourmom?”

Sujoy. She was beside herown self. She was auncontrollable angrywoman who cared fornone. She reached theplace on road. She sat therefor long.

She pondered ‘Was ittoo painful?” How long didhe live with the pain? Wasmy dear shouting in pain?Did he get some waterbefore the end? Did hewant me to hold him closewhen he was struggling tolive? Did he suffer toomuch?’

Someone came from theback and pulled her sari.

Our hearts fill with pride every time wecome across inspiring stories ofpowerful women trying to bring

about a change and creating an impact insociety. In this ‘influencer culture,’ SnigdhaRavi is one of the young minds who is tryingto add real value and help individuals aroundher. A lawyer by profession, Snigdha isreportedly the youngest fitness influencer inthe country to make it amongst the top lot.She took it up at the early age of 15 and as oftoday, she is a successful fitness coach withmore than 500 clients and 100k followers onInstagram. She is one of the contemporary‘Instagram celebrities’ who is not just afitness coach but a social media influencer, ata very young age of 22, Snigdha endorsesmultiple brands and features regularly invarious digital platforms.

MeetSnigdha RaviThe New Age InfluencerTrying to revolutionise the fitness and mental health Industry. By Dipasha Chaudhary


Being diagnosed with anxietydisorder PCOS, Snigdha decided totake up the fitness regime forherself. However, it did not stopthere and she went on to be afemale bodybuilder, again one ofthe youngest ones in the country.The change and improvement feltby her inspired her to pursue her lifein the fitness industry improvingthousands of lives around her.Snigdha is an advocate of mentalhealth and how staying fit canimprove our mental healthsignificantly.

She regularly speaks about aphysically & mentally fit body andwhy is it so important to take itseriously through her Instagram andYouTube handles, she thinks,“Fitness is not just a requirementbut a lifestyle which should beavailable to everyone, being asufferer of anxiety disorder myself, Irealized how staying physically fitnot only helped with my anxiety butimproved my life as a wholesignificantly.”

EATING RIGHT ANDFRESH

During the past few months, asthe country closed down for a longperiod and people were stuck insidetheir houses, Snigdha receivedthousands of messages from herfollowers with queries about losingweight, staying healthy, anddedicating time on their health, “Assoon as the pandemic broke out andthe lockdown was imposed, I wasflooded with queries and messageswith people asking me all sorts ofquestions, I think the whole ideaabout staying fit in this country is abit distorted, everyone wants tojust take medicines, skip meals ortake numerous supplements to stayfit and lose weight. I think thewhole idea is misunderstood andphysical fitness can easily beachieved through eating right andeating fresh.”

Snigdha believes that it isextremely important to bring arevolution in the industry and addreal value to improve our lives

instead of just spending money onthe so-called ‘healthy products’. It isnot an unknown fact that mentalhealth can be improved by stayingfit physically, for example, a studydone by the Harvard T.H. ChanSchool of Public Health found thatrunning for 15 minutes a day orwalking for an hour reduces the riskof major depression by 26%.Reportedly, the suicide rate of ourcountry has fired up during thesetimes, Sushant Singh Rajput beingone of them, a celebrity whoallegedly committed suicide due todepression. It is high time we giveour mental health the desiredattention it needs, unfortunately,many people don’t see it that wayand take this topic very lightly.Snigdha, unlike those people,recognized that she had socialanxiety and panic disorder. Insteadof hiding her problems, she cameforward with them and decided todeal with them, her journeyincluded a lot of ups and downs andit wasn’t always easy. Snigdha saysthat “Exercise helped meimmensely. However, I did undergotherapy too. I attended therapy forabout six months before I couldstart attending college againwithout breaking down in class oranywhere randomly. It was a combination of both that helped me

a lot. Speaking to people andknowing that I have a supportsystem, helped me immensely too.

Accepting myself for all my flawsand letting things go that aren’t inmy control are two new things thatI’ve implemented especially in thislockdown and I feel like this helpedme give a more positive outlook andhelped with overthinking all thetime.” Thus, Snigdha is one of themany remarkable women who haveaccomplished so much in a shortperiod; they teach us that no matterhow many difficulties weencounter, we can always achieveour goal if we stay focused. Snigdhais a perfect example of the powerfulyoung women who break thecultural and social barriers to maketheir lives and the lives of thosearound them better, more power to her! We

SNIGDHA BELIEVESTHAT IT IS EXTREMELYIMPORTANT TO BRINGA REVOLUTION IN THEINDUSTRY AND ADDREAL VALUE TOIMPROVE OUR LIVESINSTEAD OF JUSTSPENDING MONEY ONTHE SO-CALLED‘HEALTHY PRODUCTS’.IT IS NOT ANUNKNOWN FACT THATMENTAL HEALTH CANBE IMPROVED BYSTAYING FITPHYSICALLY.

Enjoy cooking healthy immune boosters.

Immunity Boosting

IMMUNITYBOOSTINGLADOOSINGREDIENTS: Wheat Flour: 1 kgTurmeric ( Haldi): 25 gmCinnamon ( Dalchini): 20 gmBlack Pepper ( Kali Mirch): 20 gmClove (Loung): 20 gmCashew (Kaju): 75 gmAlmond (Badam): 75 gmPistachio ( Pista): 75 gmCardamom: 20 gmClarified Butter (Ghee): 700 gmHoney ( Shahed): 100 gmTragacanth gum ( Gondh): 100gm

METHODOn a gas keep pan and mix

Clarified butter and wheat flour,mix both the ingredients forabout 20 minutes. Then in agrinder- grind cinnamon, blackpepper, clove, cardamom. Mixedthe grinded ingredients and restof the ingredients in a pan wherewe were mixing our wheat flourand butter. Keep stirring it for 5mins and when its heat cooldown a little then make ladoosout of it.

Immunity Boosting Ladoos

Culinary ScienceCulinary Science

baking powder, honey and teawater. /Add small pieces ofcashew ( 50 gm), almonds( 50gm) and raisins( 50 gm) to themixture. After that addcinnamon powder, gingerpowder, black pepper powder,clove powder to the mixture.Then add the last and the mainingredients i.e. Wheat flour.When mixed it completely,spread the mixture on a kitchenslab, add the remaining dry fruitsto the top of the mixture andwith a brush just put little milkfor shining. Cut the pieces withthe help of a cutter and keep thepieces in a baking dish for 20 misat 165 degree celsius.

BIKANERIBARFIINGREDIENTS: Refined Sugar: 200 gmsKhoya: 1 KgCardamom Powder: 5 gmSilver work: 4Cardamom Seeds: 5 gmPista: 5 gm

METHODTake a pan on a gas stove.

Stir refined sugar and khoyafor about 15-20 mins on a slowflame. Watch out for the color,turn off the gas if it turnsmedium brown. Addcardamom powder to thebatter.

Take a tray and refrigeratethe batter for 2 hours. Pull outthe tray and spread it on akitchen slab. Spread cardamomseeds, Pistachio and silverwork on the batter. Dab a little.Cut the batter with the help ofa cutter.

IMMUNITYBOOSTINGCOOKIESINGREDIENTS: Clarified Butter ( Ghee): 200 gmRefined Sugar ( Pisi Cheeni): 300gmBreakfast Sugar: 150 gmMilk Powder: 50 gmGlucose: 20 gmBaking Soda: 2 gmClove ( Loung) : 10 gmBlack Pepper ( Kalimirch): 10 gmTea Leaf ( Chaipatti): 25 gmTurmeric ( Haldi): 7 gmCashew ( Kaju): 100 gmAlmond ( Badam): 100 gmRaisin ( Kismis): 100 gmHoney: 50 gmWheat Flour: 1 kgCinnamon: 10 gmCardamom powder: 10 gmMilk: 250 gmCustard powder:Butter: 450 gm

METHODIn a mixing bowl hand blend

clarified butter and refinedsugar. Add milk slowly to themixture and keep stirring. On agas stove take 50 gm and 25 gmtea leaf, wait until leaves leavetheir color.

In the above mixture addglucose powder, baking soda,

Immunity Boosting Cookies

Bikaneri Barfi

MALAI LADOOINGREDIENTS:Milk: 1.5 LitreSugar: 50 gmsKewra Essence: 3 dropsSliced Pistacho

METHODPour a milk into a pan and

boil it in a slow flame. Addsugar slowly untill the milkgives the paste form, till thenstir it continuosly. Allow it tocool down and then make theballs out of it.

Decorate it with Pistacho.KALAKANDINGREDIENTS:Milk: 1.5 ltrSugar: 50 gmsCardamom: 2-3 Sliced pistacho

METHODPour a milk into a pan and

boil it in a slow flame. Addsugar slowly untill the milkgives the paste form, till thenstir it continuosly. Shift thebatter into tray and allow it tocool down. Cut the batterfrom the cutter into the barfishape.

Decorate it with Pistacho.

Malai Ladoo

KALAKAND

KESARIYAPEDAINGREDIENTS:Khoya: 200 gmSugar: 50 gmSaffron: 1 pinchCardamom: 3

METHODOn a pan keep mixing khoya

and sugar for a good 20 mins.Allow them to cool down andadd remaining ingredients likesafron and cardamom into thebatter. Give them the shape ofpedas.

CALZONE PIZZAINGREDIENTS:Pasta: 20 gms (boil)Tomato KetchupWhite Cheese pasta sauceGrated CheesePizza Base: 2 pcsSliced Green pepperSliced Onion

METHODIn a mixing bowl mix boil pasta,tomato ketchup and whitecheese pasta sauce. Take a pizzabase and spread the mixture onboth.Add sliced green pepper andonion on top of it. Add gratedcheese and sliced cheese on thetop. Preheat the oven at 200degree celsius. Keep the pizzauntil the pizza shows mediumbrown color.

Kesariya Peda

Calzone Pizza


CORN PIZZAINGREDIENTS: Corn: 20 gmPizza Base: 2Green Bell peppers: ChoppedOnion: ChoppedCheesePizza pasta sauceWhite pepper

METHODTake a pizza base and

spread pizza pasta sauce overit. Now in a mixing bowl addchopped onions. greenpeppers, corn, salt, whotepepper, chaat masala andmayonnaise. Give it a goodmix. Spread the batter overthe pizza.

Add grated cheese on topof it. Preheat the oven at 200degree celsius. Keep the pizzauntil the pizza shows mediumbrown color.

GUJRATRIMIXTUREINGREDIENTS: Peanuts: 50 gmPotato: 50 gmChaat MasalaSaltCurry Leaves.

METHODTake refined oil and fry

peanuts and remove the skin.In a mixing bowl add fried hotpeanuts and chaat masala witha pinch of salt. Take potatoesand make a thin sliced of it.Keep it in a salt water.

Fry the thin salted potatoesin a refined oil with the help ofcoating of some cornflour onthe potatoes. Then takeanother mixing bowl addpeanuts, potatoes and firedcurry leaves.

Serve the mixture with tea.

Corn Pizza

Gujratri Mixture


DIET MIXTUREINGREDIENTS: Beaten rice flakes: 250 gmPeanuts: 50 gm ( Baked inoven)Curry leavesSalt Chaat Masala

METHODTake a fry pan and with the

help of brush add just onecoating of butter. Pour thebeaten rice flakes on the pankeep stiring till it turns goldenbrown. Then in a mixing bowlmix the beaten rice flakes,sugar, chaat masala, salt, curryleaves and peanuts. CORNFLAKES

MIXTUREINGREDIENTS: Cornflakes: 50 gmPotato: 50 gmSago: 30 gmPeanuts: 20 gmCoconut Laccha: 30 gmGreen fennelSaltRed chillies

METHODTake a pan and fry

cornflakes, sago peanuts in it.Take a different pan and sautecoconut lachha. Thin slicedpotato and fry it with applyingcornflour in it. In a mixing bowladd the cornflakes, slicedpotato, fried sago, friedpeanuts, coconut lachha. Giveit a good stir and then add salt,green fennel powder, redchilies according to the taste.Should you require anythingfurther please let me know.

Inputs by Pastry chef Sahil WadhwaDirector Wadhwa Bakers, Lucknow

Diet Mixture

Cornflakes Mixture

We

I t was a l l Mental . By Sudha Vishwanathan

ShortStory

newspaper he ambled tothe kitchen from wherewas emitted such a kind ofenchanting aroma.

He raised his eyebrowsexhibiting his anxiety as hesaw the variety of foodprepared.

“All set to welcomeyour son and your Punjabidaughter-in-law,” heteased Sulochana in

light humour; then, as if hewas saying a prayer, helooked upwards andmuttered, “Goodness giveenough courage andstrength to that poor girlwho will have to toleratethis food today tried by mywife for the first time inher life.”

“Very funny!” quippedSulochana. Then, on aserious note, sherequested Arun to tastethe food. “Please try themone after the other and letme know if there issomething to be added.”

Well, Arun was aconnoisseur of food, nodoubt, but then hegenerally stuck to the

Arun was immersedin the newspaper,when the aroma of

something being fried inghee distracted hisattention from the latestpolitics. ‘Hmmmmmm….’He tried to inhale the smelland acted as if he wantedto keep it captured in hisnose.

Putting down the

The Coconut

Block

“Very funny!” quipped Sulochana.Then, on a serious note, she

requested Arun to taste the food.“Please try them one after the

other and let me know if there issomething to be added.”

south Indian menu. Thetypical sambhar, rasam,curry time of food and hecould not debate upon hiswife’s authenticity inpreparing all those items.She was a superb cookwith exceptional culinaryart.

However, today’s menuhad all the Punjabi disheshis wife had learnt meti -culously to prepare fromYouTube. Nevertheless, hetried them. There was kadipakoda and he thought itwas good though therewas something missingwhich he was unable todecipher. So he decided tocall it good lest Sulochanais left wondering whichwas the missing ingredientand would not rest

peacefully till the puzzlewas solved.

Then there was paneerbutter masala. That

tasted good too. Themixed kadai vegetable wasactually very nice. Arunmarvelled at the way hiswife had meticulouslysurfed the net to learnpreparation of thesedishes to welcome herdaughter-in-law Shivani,who hailed from Delhi.

“I don’t see any SouthIndian dish in the menu,”Arun began rathercautiously.

“Deepak also relishesPunjabi food. He has beeneating that from the timehe has shifted toBangalore for a job since

the guest house had aPunjabi female as a cookand I am sure he wouldhave gotten fully adaptedto it by now. It is almostthree months sinceDeepak and Shivani aremarried and he has beeneating Shivani’spreparations only – right?”

Well there was nothingthat Arun could drag theargument with. Heshrugged his shoulders asif to say, ’Whatever youfeel is right.’

“And then,” continuedSulochana, “Shivani doesnot like preparations madeof coconut and we only

have a handful of dishesthat do not involvecoconut grating.”

“I thought she relishedcoconut chutney. I saw hereating the dosas to glorythat day with a bowlful ofthat chutney made of purecoconut.”

“Well, you are right, shedoes relish coconutchutney, also she lovescoconut burfi for somereasons she does not likesambhar, or any otherpreparations made ofcoconut or if gratedcoconut is added to anycurry and all. Soundsparadoxical though.”

“This definitely soundsintriguing, “sighed Arun.“Sulochana, I tell you thisis some kind of mental

The family of four laughed even as Sulochana hugged herdaughter-in-law lovingly while

Deepak looked on with a twinkle in his eyes

like his father.


block,” he grinned much tothe annoyance ofSulochana.

“What are you up to,Arun? Better get ready towelcome them. They willbe here any moment now.”

“Wait,” he said, “Firstyou listen to my plan andthe way it should beimplemented. Do notbehave like you are adescendant of KingHarishchandra, known forhis truthfulness,” heteased her even as shelooked with anxiety andannoyance blendedperfectly.

He explained his planand she almost brushed itoff with a wave of herhands as she was gettingdelayed to have a washand get herself lookingpresentable to welcomeher son and daughter-in-law.

Their flight had alreadylanded an hour ago

and Deepak had called her.“Hey, mom, we have

landed. We will take a caband reach home in anotherone-and-a-half hours. Seeyou soon, ma.”

“Do not eat anything onthe way. I have prepared asumptuous lunch. Hopeyou guys relish it,” she hadsaid.

“Oh come on, ma, donot sound so modest. Yourname is a synonym toculinary art.” Sulochanacould almost envisageDeepak winking aftersaying this.

She hung up feelingoverwhelmed.

Well, she now had toprepare the rotis no soonerthey arrived, so that by thetime they freshened upthey would be ready andhot to eat.

The lunch was definitely

the most sumptuous oneand Sulochana swelled withpride as Deepak andShivani kept showeringpraises on her for herexemplary preparationsthat too of North Indiandishes she wasn’t actuallywell versed in.

“Mom, such lovely rotis,they are simply melting inmy mouth!” That was thebest compliment a SouthIndian lady could receivefrom a Punjabi daughter-in-law.

All the while Sulochanahad been having a nigglingfeeling as to whether sheshould carry out the planof action Arun hadsuggested for thefollowing day. She finallydecided to give it a try.

“Well, guys, I am gladyou enjoyed the foodtoday. I shall make typicalSouth Indian mealstomorrow,” Sulochanalightly broached thesubject in the eveningwhile they were sippingtheir cup of tea with somehot bhajias.

“That doesn’t sound abad idea, but you knowShivani does not eatpreparations made withcoconut. I mean

preparations like sambhar,curry made usingcoconut.” Deepak soundedconcerned even as Shivanigestured that she wouldmanage.

“No, you don’t worry,”she began assuringDeepak; “Preparationswould be sans coconut. Iknow Shivani does not likedishes in which coconut isused.”

“Oh, do we really havesuch kinds of dishes in oursouth India? I thoughtcoconut was aquintessential part ofevery dish,” Deepakearnestly asked.

“Long before people

used to have coconut treesin their own houses yousee, so they thought it wascool to add coconutgratings in almost all fooditems. With passing daysand coconut becomingmuch of a commercialproduct, people havestarted using it sparsely.We pay 20 rupees for onecoconut. Isn’t thatexpensive?” Arunexplained with utmostsincerity in his expressionsand tone.

Sulochana triedcamouflaging the smirkthat passed her lips. ‘Thisguy should have been adrama artist,’ she thought;

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Menses is a, Natural Hormonal Change,sign of entering in an adult / childbearing phase.

Misbelief inculcated - shouldn't go totemple or in any puja ... WHY

Initially, women were kept in a separateroom, in order to give rest to her as itwas hard labour. Slowly myths grew,lots of restrictions imposed - ultimatewas should not go in a temple

Basic reasons of giving rest to a woman: Blood loss,Tiredness, Pain, Nausea & Vomiting

We gave it a look of religion & blindly following it evennow. She still has to continue hard work – whetherhome or office.

Few Questions for this time-1. Do you give off to your maids?2. Professionals like policemen, hospital staff - handle

impure blood everyday – do you stop them?3. Should we not be giving women total rest?4. Should they be not asked to completely relax & read

good holy books to purify mind

After Being Educated, should we not come out Of Superstition & Show Future Generation

The Right Direction

Myths & Fact on Menses / Period

Dr Vidushi AgrawalDHMS (Mum),HMD (Lon),

MSc.DFSM (IGNOU)

Decision is yous

The lunch wasdef in i te ly the mostsumptuous one andSulochana swel ledwith pr ide asDeepak and Sh ivanikept shower ingpra ises on her forher exemplarypreparat ions thattoo of North Ind iandishes she wasn’tactual ly wel l versed in.

The mention of smallonion sambhar, whichDeepak had been cravingto eat, had such a mysticaleffect on him that he didnot pursue persuading hismother to accompanythem.

However, he turnedback before leaving andreminded his mom, “I hopeyou are preparing thesambhar without coconut. Iam sure there should be amethod.”

Sulochana noddedrather guiltily.

When the trio returnedfrom their shopping thehouse was filled with thearoma arising from thesmall onion sambhar thatwas just getting done.

“Hmmm, ma, I canhardly wait to eat this,”Deepak tried capturing thearoma in his nostrils.

“In half an hour we caneat. The rice is gettingready and I will fry thepapads too.”

Lunch was once again asumptuous affair with eachone relishing the sambharand the curry. The currydid not have any coconutin it but the sambharcouldn’t have tasted thisgreat without thenecessary amount ofcoconut.

As they were justfinishing the food, Aruncleared his throat andasked Shivani,”Youenjoyed our South Indianbreakfast and meals todayI suppose.”

She nodded with fullaffirmation even as she

was licking the last tracesof sambhar from herfingers, “It was awesome,dad. I wish I could prepareall these items. Maybe Ican learn slowly. I knowDeepak loves them. Ishould learn.” She got upto wash the plate whenArun gestured her to sitdown in the chair again.

“The breakfast you atethis morning is calledkoyyakattai and it is madewith rice grounded with adecent amount of coconutgratings, otherwise itwouldn’t have been as softas it was in the morning.”

Sulochana noticed that,both Deepak’s andShivani’s expressions werechanging. She tried not tohave eye contact withthem, though she realisedthat the girl was looking ather now.

“And then,” continuedArun; “The sambhar whichyou had just now cannotbe so tasty without usingcoconut for grinding withother ingredients neededfor flavour.”

Deepak protested, “No,dad, you are simply pullingher legs, I know she wouldhave found out at the firstmorsel itself; even if a bitof coconut was used. Youhaven’t used it. Right,mom?” he said turningtowards Sulochana with alook that was ready to takeonly,’no’ as an answer.

She did not know whatto say, but Arun came toher rescue.

“This is a mental blockthat you are carrying aboutcoconut, Shivani. If youcan relish coconut chutneyand coconut burfi then whynot preparations made ofcoconut? It is just that youhave formed a notion thatyou do not like those andthen if someone tells youcoconut is added to thisfood item, you decide thatit is not for your taste bud.It was I who told mom toprepare these, though shevehemently denied playingtreachery, but this wasdone in goodwill. Now youunderstand that; after yourelished these food items.”

Arun looked at Shivanifor her reply. The girl wassitting with her handsmaking articulate designson the plate. She noddedlightly and realised hermistake. Deepak toounderstood that it was justa mental block. He lookedgratefully at his parentswhile Shivani said,“Thanks, mom and dad, forlifting this coconut blockfrom my mind. I willdefinitely make all coconutpreparations when youcome to stay with us nexttime.”

The family of fourlaughed even as Sulochanahugged her daughter-in-law lovingly while Deepaklooked on with a twinkle inhis eyes like his father.


‘He is acting with suchverve that it soundsextremely genuine.’

The following morningArun had instructedSulochana to make a dishcalled koyyakattai(elongated balls rolled outof cooked and vapourisedrice powder with coconutgratings also ground asone of the ingredients).This was generally eatenwith coconut chutneywhich Shivani anywayliked.

Sulochana verymeticulously explained toShivani what the dish wasand how it was prepared,very shrewdly keeping outthe grounded coconutgrating part.

Both Arun andSulochana looked on asthe girl relished thebreakfast in the true senseof it, but Sulochana wasworried till she took thefirst bite if the girl wouldfind out that coconutgratings were mixed withthe batter. However,everything culminatedpeacefully as all of themhogged upon thepreparation. All the whileArun was trying to catch aglimpse of Sulochana’sexpressions with a sideview. He was enjoyingevery bit of theproceedings because hisplan was working.

Deepak and Shivanithen expressed their desireto go for some quickshopping. Arun offered todrive them around.

“Why don’t you join us,mom?” Deepak askedSulochana.

“No, beta, you all carryon. I have to get startedwith the lunchpreparations soon. Todayis small onion sambhar andpotato curry.”

Both Arun andSulochana looked onas the g i r l re l i shedthe breakfast in thetrue sense of i t , butSu lochana wasworr ied t i l l she tookthe f i rst b i te i f theg i r l would f ind outthat coconutgrat ings were mixedwith the batter .However, everyth ingculminatedpeacefu l ly as a l l o fthem hogged uponthe preparat ion.Al lthe whi le Arun wastry ing to catch ag l impse ofSu lochana’sexpress ions with as ide v iew.

We

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present at the upper sternum but is usuallyloudest over the Coarctation posteriorly.

Evidence of collateral circulation is present inthe older child and adult, Dilated, tortuousarteries may be visible or palpable around thescapulae and below the ribs posteriorly,especially if the patient bends forward.

Radiological examination in early childhoodis often normal but at a later age may show changes inthe contour of the aorta and notching of the undersurface of the ribs from tortuous loops of enlargedintercostal arteries.

The ECG may show left ventricular hypertrophy. Theconstricted portion of the aorta can be resected and thedivided ends of the aorta anastomosed. In untreatedsevere cases, death may occur from left ventricularfailure, dissection of the aorta, cerebral haemorrhageor infection of the bicuspid aortic valve which is presentin about half the patients.

IAM A 50 YRS OLD WORKING WOMAN AND DIABETIC SINCE LAST

three years, because of injury on my left forearm onemonth back I developed redness, itching and stiffness

at the site of injury followed by swelling and pain onpressure.

I have consulted a doctor for this problem, afterexamination he told me that I am suffering from cellulitisand adviced treatment. What is your opinion.

Cellulitis is the term given to a spreadinginflammatory exudate along subcutaneous and fascialplanes.

Streptococcus pyogenes, the commonest cause ofsevere cellulitis, may enter the tissues through anaccidental wound, trivial in nature, such as a graze orscratch, or possibly as the result of an operation.

If the general resistance of the patient is underminedby such conditions as diabetes, cellulitis is likely tospread rapidly and lead to septicaemia.

Redness and itching or stiffness commence at the siteof inoculation, to be followed by tenderness andswelling. The skin becomes shiny in appearance. Localgangrene may occur. The appearance of fine creases orwrinkles in the skin heralds the resolution of thecondition.

Treatment consists of rest, elevation of the part andabove all the use of the appropriate antibiotic. Diabetes,if present, should be treated.

– Dr Sanjay Teotia.

IAM A 50 YRS OLD WORKING WOMAN, SINCE LAST SIX MONTHS

I am suffering from a small swelling on the Vulva (partof Vagina), an ulcer and watery discharge usually

occurs in this swelling. I have applied various local ointments (antibiotics and

antifungal) over this ulcer but it doesn't heal. I haveconsulted a lady doctor for this problem.

After examination she advised me biopsy, biopsyreport shows Rodent ulcer of the vulva (basal cellcarcinoma). After the diagnosis doctor adviced meoperation. I want your opinion about this disease.

Rodent ulcer of the Vulva (basal cell carcinoma orcancer) is a rare form of locally invasive Cancer. It'sbehaviour is similar to the lesion seen on the face.

The patient notices a small lump on the Vulva whichtends to ulcerate with a watery discharge and whichrefuses to heal in spite of various local medicaments.

A biopsy should be performed, when the diagnosis isobvious. The treatment consists of a local excision and itis unnecessary to perform a radical vulvectomy.

Wherever the situation of the tumour, it is importantto have a good wide margin of skin and a reasonabledepth of excision to obviate recurrences.

The diathermy can usefully be employed in thisoperation. Radium treatment is effective in this conditionbut is rarely used because surgery is easier and moreeffective.

MY HUSBAND IS ABOUT 40 YRS OLD, SINCE LAST ONE YEAR

he is suffering from hypertension, headache andoccasionally weakness or cramps in the legs and

pulsations usually seen on sides of his neck. We have consulted a physician for this problem. After

examination, X-Ray and ECG, doctor told us that he issuffering from Coarctation of the aorta and advisedsurgical procedure. I want to know about this problem in detail.

Coarctation of the aorta is the narrowing of the aortaoccurs in the region where the ductus arteriosus joins theaorta i.e. just below the origin of the left subclavianartery. The condition is more common in males.

Symptoms are often absent. Headaches and cardiacsymptoms may occur from hypertension in the upper partof the body and occasionally weakness or cramps in thelegs may result from decreased circulation in the lowerpart of the body.

The blood pressure is raised in the arms but is normalor low in the legs, unduly large arterial pulsations maybe visible in the neck. The femoral pulses are weak anddelayed after the radial. A systolic murmur is often

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Perplexed and perturbed,shaken and shatteredIn whirlpool of emotional eddyAll poise goneShe stood staring at the sea shoreDemure and dreary looked the dawn

Water flowed ferventlyRipples formed and dissolvedHer rattling emotionsFretted and fumed hazily

The whiff of waffling wavesThe spurt of surging tidesThe shimmer of sunny skyShips sailing in poised pride

Coconut trees standing tallSwaying and singing in skyFlora and foliage fluttering in delightSea and horizon seemed to unite

She gazed the sight in a tranceAll delirium and hysteria washed in a stanceThe symphony of waves and waterMade her transcend beyond

Her soul could hear chants and incantationsShe could see herself sitting in canoe in intoxicationResounding rivers in swift motionLosing identity merging in ocean

Life has meaning in creating moments "This is enough" a new truth dawnedThe glory of horizon,the light of heavenInfused in her nectar of serenity and calm

It heightened her sensibility and sagacityVanished all vanity and vulnerabilityFrom mortality to ImmortalityAware and awakenedShe stood tall in humility

Life is transient and temporaryStanding on land she will merge with seaBecome part of the flow yet like a lighthouse In the hearts of all she will forever glow.

Ritu kamra kumar

Like a Lighthouse she will forever Glow

Ever since the big fightthat led to theseparation of Sindhu

and her husband, Milind,the Apte house was eerilysilent. It lacked the livelyatmosphere of the pastwhen people passing theirvilla would find thetalkative Milind Damlewatering the plants orfeeding the street dogs. Hewould wave at and greetevery known and unknownface passing their house. If

not him, they would findSindhu pampering hermeditating felines in theirverandah with her sweetesttalk. People were amusedat the way the catsmeowed and responded toher. If anyone tried tointrude into their privateworld, they would beintimidated by the freezingcold stares of Sindhu andher felines. Sindhu lovedand guarded her privateworld; nobody was

welcome. BothSindhu and her

husband werepoles apartbut they hadcaptured

peoples’

attention and imaginationbecause of theireccentricities.

Sindhu was thedaughter of the garageowner, Vinayak Apte. Shewas tall and voluptuous,with a protruding leftcanine tooth struckpermanently outside hermouth. People sniggeredbehind her that Sindhulooked like a ferocious catwith a protruding caninetooth and steely grey eyes!Being an introvert, shehardly had any friends

Her ar t s made i t per fect ! By Geeta Kashyap

Sindhu’s World

ShortStory

He had also convinced herthat she needed a man totake care of her and her

property in her old age. Hisincome would also give hersome more spending power

I t lacked the l i ve lyatmosphere of thepast when peoplepass ing the i r v i l lawould f ind theta lkat ive Mi l indDamle water ing theplants or feedingthe street dogs. I fnot h im, they wouldf ind S indhupamper ing hermeditat ing fe l inesin the i r verandahwith her sweetestta lk .

either in their communityor the neighbourhood. Onlycats fascinated her and shecared for a brood of them.

When she was young,her parents had

hoped that her protrudingtooth would fall offeventually and a properpermanent tooth wouldgrow in its place. But evenas the odd tooth stuckoutside, the newpermanent canine toothgrew right behind itwithout dislodging theoriginal tooth. Althoughshe realised how thatcanine tooth spoiled herlooks and chances ofmarriage, she hadstubbornly refused to getrid of it as she had a terriblefear of dentists and theirnoisy drilling equipment.

Vinayak Apte’s sonSuhas, who was older than


time of Suhas’s death,Sindhu was a young womanin her mid-twenties. Withher father turning analcoholic, she had devotedherself to his care and shehad rented their garage toensure a regular income.Sindhu never realised whenand how time slipped awayand she was well past thetraditional marriageableage by the time her fatherdied. But she kept herselfbusy nonchalantly with abrood of nine cats.

On the occasion of herfather’s first deathanniversary, Sindhu’s unclehad advised her to marryand be a good wife. He hadalso convinced her that sheneeded a man to take careof her and her property inher old age. Since she wasalready nearing 40, shethought a man would beuseful in controlling theerrant tenants of thegarage and also in takingcare of the maintenancework of their villa. Hisincome would also give her

family had introduced herto Milind Damle, a realestate agent who did nothave anyone to call his ownin this world and very littlewas known about hisbackground. He was a talland lean man in his forties.He fancied wearing a goldchain, shiny rings and achunky bracelet. Sindhu’ssimple taste disliked hisflamboyance, yet underintense family pressure, sheagreed to marry him. Theirmarriage brought themphysically under the sameroof but mentally they werepoles apart. Her introvertednature hardly appreciatedhis extrovertedexuberance. But soon aftertheir marriage, she wasdisappointed to realise thathe did not enjoy workingfor a living. He lovedspending his timegardening and feedingstray dogs more thanloving her or her cats; herather despised them. Themarriage had alsoincreased her workload;she had to cook more foodfor him and his strays, doadditional laundry and

cleaning. She also felt ahuge strain on her monthlyexpenses. She was angrywith her relatives formisleading her into such amarriage. The only timeSindhu gelled well withMilind was in the eveningswhen he brought home thecountry liquor. Soon,Sindhu developed a tastefor it, she started seeingMilind’s utility and enjoyedspending evenings withhim. In spite of the brewingunhappiness in their lives,they maintained a peacefulfaçade.

A few months after theirmarriage, one day Sindhuwas inconsolable when oneof her cats, Faith, wentmissing. When shesearched everywhere andcouldn’t trace Faith, shewailed hysterically. Milindhad lovingly consoled herand asked her to drinkmore to reduce her sorrow.In a drunken state, whenshe continued to sob, hehad winked and convincedher that it was common forcats in heat to go missingfor a few days. She offeredspecial prayers at thenearby Ganesh temple, forFaith’s safe return. ButFaith never returned. Amonth later, another cat,Trust, vanished makingSindhu suspect somethingamiss. She organisedspecial prayers for her cats’well being and safety. Shestarted being more alert inguarding her brood. Whenher third cat, Hope, wentmissing, she couldn’t buyMilind’s claims. She meteveryone in her area andcarried out an extensivesearch including circulatingpamphlets with the detailsand photos of her missingcats. During such a search,a fisherman had informedthat he had seen a lean and

When she wasyoung, her parentshad hoped that herprotruding toothwould fa l l o f feventual ly and aproper permanenttooth would grow ini ts p lace. But evenas the odd toothstuck outs ide, thenew permanentcanine tooth grewr ight behind i twithout d is lodg ingthe or ig ina l tooth.

some more spendingpower and she would beable to take better care ofher brood of cats.

Somehow, in a weakmoment, she agreed.Within the next few ofmonths, her uncle andsome other seniors in the

Sindhu and in the IndianArmy had died during theterrorist incursion inPunjab. Following Suhas'sdeath, Vinayak lost allinterest in life and hadsought solace in alcohol.Sindhu’s mother had died afew years earlier. At the

tall man wearing a lot ofgold throw a bagcontaining a dead cat intothe creek a few days earlier,confirming her suspicion.That evening, she preparedMilind’s favourite fried fishand made him drink a littlemore than usual using allher charms. Then sheconfronted him. In thecourse of heatedarguments, he accepted tokilling her three cats. Healso threatened that thesame fate awaited theremaining six cats also. Inher inebriated state, whenshe had picked a bitterquarrel with him, he hadslapped her hard! Sherealised the severity of theblow only when she sawblood gushing out of hermouth. Not willing to takeany more nonsense fromhim, she assaulted him witha bottle that lay nearby,slashing his facedangerously close to his

losses. As the bruiseshealed, Sindhu realisedthat the loss of her toothstrangely balanced herlooks. Even though thetooth behind the lostcanine was a little inset, itmade her smile oddlyattractive. She secretlyadmired her new look!

It had been over sixmonths since Milind hadrun away from home, still,her anger had not subsided.She was in no mood toforgive him or search forhim. Instead, she wasrelieved by his absence.She managed her houseless rigidly now and spentmore time with her cats.Her cats, Sunray andPrayer, had made herhappy by birthing a new setof kittens. She struggled tofind suitable names foreach kitten based on itsappearance, habit or herown mood. In those sixmonths, she had alsostopped visiting herrelatives or encouragingtheir visits. Sindhu couldn’t

forgive her family elderswho had persuaded her tomarry the man who wenton to kill three of her catsand betray her trust. Shefelt they were unduly hastyin their search for hergroom.

That fateful Saturdayafternoon on the 27th ofMay, even as the summersun blazed in full glory,Sindhu busied herself witha couple of workers in fixingsome damaged tiles on theroof of her villa. Her oldvilla needed many repairsand reinforcements towithstand the fury of rainswhich were expected to hitthe city by the first week ofJune. In the middle of herwork, she received a letterby post from an unknownperson. She wondered whocould have sent her a letterwhen she had chosen tokeep the whole world atbay. As she read the letterher hands trembled and shecried. She collapsed on thesteps of her villa and re-read the letter.

“Dear Miss Sindhu Apte,“I am Pravin Desai from

Kolhapur. Your husband,Milind Damle was a friendof mine. I am sorry toinform you that Milindpassed away on the 18th ofMay.

Afew days after runningaway from you he

returned to our village nearKolhapur. He was in nomood to explain his suddenreappearance in the villageand his bandaged face wasa big mystery to all. Sincehe was my childhoodfriend, I allowed him to stayat my farm and manage it.He preferred to spend mostof his time gambling anddrinking. Apart from thathe continued his love forthe strays and fed them

She wondered who couldhave sent her a letter whenshe had chosen to keep thewhole world at bay. As sheread the letter her handstrembled and she cried.

right eye. Seeing her fury,he had run away from theirhouse to save his life.Crying inconsolably overher dead cats and thebetrayal, she had fainted.

On the next day, whenshe woke up she realisedhow badly her face wasbruised and that her leftcanine tooth which alwayssat firmly on her lower lipwas missing. Shivering withrage, Sindhu had promptlylodged a police complaintagainst Milind for thephysical assault on her andfor killing three of her petcats! This incident hadshocked their peace-lovingneighbourhood and therelatives. Nobody dared toask Sindhu to take back thecomplaint or to search forMilind, as nobodysympathised with orsupported him. Somerelatives helped Sindhu torecover from her injuriesand make peace with the

On the next day,when she woke upshe real i sed howbadly her face wasbru ised and thather le f t caninetooth which a lwayssat f i rmly on herlower l ip wasmiss ing. Sh iver ingwith rage, S indhuhad prompt lylodged a po l icecompla int againstMi l ind for thephys ica l assault onher and for k i l l ingthree of her petcats!


even when the otherneighbours opposed, citingthe increased dog attackson innocent passersby. Hehad ignored all theircomplaints and protests.

On May, while returninghome after a drinking

bout, he was fatallyattacked by one of thestray dogs he had fed andcared for. He receivedprompt treatment for all hisinjuries and the bites at thenearby hospital.Unfortunately, the dog thatbit him turned out to berabid. At first, Milindresponded well to thetreatment but his healthstarted deteriorating all ofa sudden after about aweek. More than the torncalf muscle or the long-term anti-rabies treatment,he was deeply hurt by thefact that he had beenattacked by one of the dogshe fed and cared for. Hecouldn’t accept thebetrayal of trust. He felt hewas being punished by agod, for killing your pet catsand breaking your trust. Hismental agony was soterrible that he didn’trecover from that attack.After struggling for about12 days, he succumbed tothe infections on 18th ofMay. A day before hisdeath he informed meabout you and he wantedme to convey to you hisregret and apology. He hasfervently sought yourforgiveness.

According to his wishes,he was cremated by us onthe same day. I haveenclosed his deathcertificate along with thisletter.

May Bappa (LordGanesh) bless and comfortyou during this time ofgrief. Please accept our

sincere condolences.....”Her vision was clouded

by tears as she read theletter and all the pain shehad withheld in her heartcame gushing. She sobbedtill her senses went numb.That evening she drownedher sorrows by drinking inexcess. Before passing out,she repeatedly prayedBappa to forgive Milind andherself.

The next morning sheopened her groggy eyeswhen Blacky climbed ontoher belly and startedmeowing loudly. HadBlacky not woker her upwith his incessant meows,probably she would havenever got up. She sobbedagain as she recalled theprevious day’s events. Shetried to shoo away Blackyand hide under her blanket.But Blacky persisted. As theproactive member of herbrood, he knew how all theother cats were gettingrestless without Sindhu,her loving talk and thefood. Unable to resist hisloving calls any further, shewoke up and hugged thefurry creature, assuring himthat his mistress was fine.As she finally got out of herbed, she thought of Milind,the unforgivable pain hehad given her and themiserable end he met. Yether mind oscillated withmixed feelings anduncertainties. She couldn’tfathom whether the feelingof vendetta in her heartkilled him or it was his ownbad date. She wondered ifit was fair for her to feelcontemptuous andjudgmental or was shesupposed to grieve hisdeath like a good wife. Asthe conflicting thoughtsconfused her, she stronglyfelt that Milind had gotjustice. As she splashed

water repeatedly on to herface in a bid to silence herendless thoughts, she wasconvinced that she was notresponsible for his death inany way and fate hadindeed delivered its justice.

As she prepared her tea,she recalled moments ofher married life. There werevery few good moments tocherish. The major part ofher marriage was riddledwith unhappiness,disappointment, betrayaland sorrow. With his death,her apprehensions abouthis possible return and theperceived threat to thelives of her cats were alsoremoved. But while goingaway, he had helped her toget rid of her ugly caninetooth and at least for thathe deserved herforgiveness and gratitude!As her mental turmoil

eased a little, she felt betterand composed.

After placing the bowlsof milk for her brood ofkittens in the verandah, shesat on the easy chair andsipped tea leisurely. Shethen phoned her uncle toinform him about Milind’stragic death.

She sat on the steps ofthe verandah and assessedthe repair work carried outso far. As the sun playedhide and seek with thepassing clouds, she smiledwith satisfaction; she andher villa were now ready toface yet another monsoon.Lovingly she picked up andcuddled the two little whitekittens that played at herfeet. Suddenly her calmmind and thought of twoapt names for them – shenamed one as 'Peace' andthe other as 'Happiness'.

She sat on the easy chairand sipped tea leisurely.

She then phoned her uncleto inform him about

Milind’s tragic death.

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Sleep is a time for resting… oris it? Research from BostonUniversity describes our brains

as engaging in a “cleansing flood”while we sleep that helps ward offdiseases such as dementia. Thisresearch builds on previous findingsthat have shown our brains areworking rather than resting duringsleep.

The exact process taking placeinvolves our glymphatic system, awaste clearance system for ourcentral nervous system. While we’reawake, precursor proteins calledamyloid-betas spike and accumulatein our brain.

During our sleeping hours, ourbrain flushes these amyloid-betas,preventing them from forming intoplaque and damaging our neurons.Without adequate sleep, our braincan’t effectively wash away theseprecursor proteins. Theiraccumulation has been associatedwith a higher risk of dementia dueto the damaged neurons.

The research adds new insightinto the sleep-dementia connection.

What experts have to sayWhile we’re sleeping, our

glymphatic system goes into fullaction to clear proteins, toxins, andwaste products. Poor sleep makesthe glymphatic system lessefficient. These proteins are toxic tothe cell, to the neuron, and theiraccumulation could lead to

inflammation and degeneration ofthose neurons in the brain that overtime may contribute to Alzheimer’sdementia.

Now, we cannot say that ifyou’re sleeping 4 hours a night thatin 20 years, you’re going to developAlzheimer’s dementia. No one hasshown that yet. What we’re sayingis that there is a trend. TheAlzheimer’s Association agrees it’sstill too early to determine a causalrelationship.

Evidence is building that sleepdisturbances — like sleep apnea ordisruptions in sleeping patterns —may increase risk of later lifeAlzheimer’s and dementia, or mayeven be an early sign of thesediseases.

But more research is needed tounderstand the relationshipbetween sleep and dementia. Forexample, do brain changes causedby the disease cause sleepdisruptions, or do changes in sleeppatterns increase risk of dementia?Or both?

Alzheimer’s Association hasfunded researchers doing work inthis area, including Dr. AndrewVarga, a neuroscientist andphysician at the Mount SinaiIntegrative Sleep Center in NewYork. He’s researching how sleepdisruption may lead to a more rapidbuildup of tau, an abnormal brainprotein related to Alzheimer’sdisease.

How Sleep ʻCleansesʼ Your Brain and Helps Lower Your Dementia Risk. By Madan Lal

Defining a good night’s sleepAn adequate sleep is about both

quantity and quality. A commonmisconception is that as people age,they need less sleep. That isabsolutely incorrect, whether youare 18 or 80. For people over 18,sleep quantity must be and has tobe between 7 and 8 hours on aregular basis. This is the consensusrecommendation for good health.

Boost Brain Health

The hours of sleep can’t bebroken up between nighttime sleepand daytime naps. It has to beconsecutive sleeping. In terms ofquality, adequate sleep is defined bythe stages of sleep. The stages ofsleep are all essential for promotinggood health, say experts.

For example, if someone sleepsfor 7 or 8 hours and they wake upand they’re groggy, it tells us thereis an issue. Maybe there is an issuethat disrupts sleep. An example is

pain, or sleep apnea medications, oralcohol, that tends to disrupt sleepcontinuity. What sleep experts areconcerned with is whethersomeone wakes up feelingrefreshed.

The consequences of poor sleep

Beyond the sleep-dementia risklies a host of additional concernsrelated to getting inadequate sleep.Poor sleep can lead to multiple

problems throughout the body.Physically, poor sleep can result introuble managing weight, anddiabetes and thyroid dysfunctiondue to hormone dysregulation. It’sin the deeper stages of sleep whenour hormones ‘reset’.

Mentally, poor sleep can lead toanxiety, depression, poor memory,and degenerative diseases likeAlzheimer’s and dementia. This canoccur especially if we have anunderlying sleep disorder and/or

THE HOURS OF SLEEP CAN’T BE BROKEN UP BETWEENNIGHTTIME SLEEP AND DAYTIME NAPS. IT HAS TO BE

CONSECUTIVE SLEEPING. IN TERMS OF QUALITY,ADEQUATE SLEEP IS DEFINED BY THE STAGES OF SLEEP.

THE STAGES OF SLEEP ARE ALL ESSENTIAL FORPROMOTING GOOD HEALTH, SAY EXPERTS.

regularly take to wind down, suchas reading, taking a warm bath, orwriting in a journal.

Style your bedroom for sleepKeep temperatures cool, gadgets

and electronics to a minimum, andbedding comfortable yet simple.Also check your pillows to makesure they pack the perfect amountof “pouf” — not too hard or toosoft so your head and neck arecomfortably supported.

Nix daytime napsWith extra time on your hands,

or perhaps because of working fromhome, it may be easy and enticingto sneak in a daytime nap. While theoccasional nap can be a great resetfor the rest of the day, it may robyou of the more important andrestorative sleep your body needsat night.

Consider what you watch on TV

Listening to discouraging reportsabout the new coronavirus on theevening news before bed may notbe a good idea and could keep yourmind racing throughout the night.Opt for shows that are lighter andmore entertaining later in the day.

Set a wake-up time and stickto it 7 days a week

Even if you go to bed late onenight or have trouble falling asleep,keep your wake-up time the same.This is particularly important duringthe pandemic, when many of us arepushing our wake-up times later.The wake-up time you set foryourself doesn’t have to be early.

Stop ‘trying’ to sleep if you’reanxious about sleeping

Find something quiet to do, likeread or watch TV (though nothingtoo upsetting or stimulating). Whenyou feel sleepy again, get back inbed. If it’s a difficult night, youmight have to do this a few times.This works because worrying aboutsleep and lying in bed trying tosleep perpetuates insomnia.

Stop checking the clockIf you don’t know what time it is,

you can’t start counting how muchtime is left in the night to sleep. Ifyou have an alarm clock in yourroom, turn it around. As long as youhave an alarm set, you don’t needto know the time.

Stop tracking your sleepSmartwatches don’t adequately

track sleep; they track movement.So, use your smartwatch during theday and take it off at night. We

don’t sleep long enough. It isthought that our nervous systemand memories are maintainedduring our REM sleep. Oftentimesour REM stages of sleep are the firststages to get ‘skipped’ during sleepissues or disorders.

How to improve your sleepquality

Experts say if you’re not feelingrefreshed upon waking, or if you’reexperiencing sleep issues such assnoring or falling asleep duringdaytime hours, consult with yourprimary care physician. Discoveringthe root of the issue is crucial tofinding the right solution. It iscommon for people to be carryingaround too much stress, especiallydue to the COVID crisis.

Get outside and get movingFresh air and exercise can help

calm and tire you out, while vitaminD from the sunshine helps regulatecircadian rhythms to keep yoursleep consistent.

Establish a bedtime routineConsistency in your bedtime

routine each night can go a longway in helping you achieve betterquality sleep. Your body willnaturally take cues and promptdrowsiness from the steps you

CONSISTENCY IN YOURBEDTIME ROUTINEEACH NIGHT CAN GO ALONG WAY IN HELPINGYOU ACHIEVE BETTERQUALITY SLEEP. YOUR BODY WILLNATURALLY TAKECUES AND PROMPTDROWSINESS FROMTHE STEPS YOUREGULARLY TAKE TOWIND DOWN, SUCH ASREADING, TAKING AWARM BATH, ORWRITING IN AJOURNAL.


our time with each other. I don't understandwhat should I do, how should I make themunderstand. His mother should think that thisis the time for both of them.

But she also doesn't agree. When I saysomething to my husband, he thinks I amspeaking against his mother. I don'tunderstand what to do. Tell me if they do rightor not..

We can understand your problem. You should talk toyour husband. Your mother in law is feeling lonelynowadays. But give some time to your hubby and motherin law. And you shouldn't force him to spend time withyou.If he will love you, he will say from his own side oneday when she gets heal. Just think like she is your ownmother, you will come out from stress.

IAM 24 YEAR OLD FEMALE. I GOT MARRIED LAST DECEMBER. IHAD A LOVE MARRIAGE. BEFORE MARRIAGE MY HUSBAND USED

TO BE VERY LOVING AND CARING AND DISCUSSED OUR

BEAUTIFUL FUTURE. LET ME TELL YOU ALL THAT I WAS NOT READY

FOR MARRIAGE; I ALWAYS WANTED TO CONTINUE STUDY AND TAKE A

GOVERNMENT JOB. HE ALWAYS SUPPORTED ME AND TOLD ME THAT

I CAN CARRY MY STUDIES AFTER MARRIAGE AS WELL. NOW THE SITUATION IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. FROM THE

NEXT DAY OF OUR MARRIAGE I CAN SEE SOME CHANGES IN HIM. HE IS

ALWAYS BUSY IN HIS PHONE, PLAYING GAMES ETC. ETC. NOT GIVING

ME ANY ATTENTION AT ALL. HIS PARENTS ARE GOOD BUT I KNOW THEY DON'T WANT ME TO

STUDY AND DO JOB. MY HUSBAND IS NO MORE INTERESTED ON MY

ISSUES. MY LIFE HAS BECOME HECTIC FOR ME. EVERY MORNING ITHINK OF DIVORCE. I FEEL VERY LONELY HERE.PLEASE SUGGEST ME

WHAT SHALL I DO NOW...All days are not ours so try to handle the things and

manage. Love is totally different from marriage life. Asyou said your husband is busy with mobile and not givingimportance.

Same way husband also might feel you are busy withkitchen work and talking to your friends and family. So bein their shoes and think. Whatever problem you haveshare it with him upfront. Don't lose hope. Don't blameanything, try your best and give your best.Try to thinkfrom both the sides. Marriage is mutual understandingbetween two people.

Male 34. My wife is suffering in borderline interpersonality disorder from the last 9 years, everysmall matter or without any matter did a big

fight, throwing mobiles tv remote everything biting mealso. She is on continuous psychiatric treatment/medication for last 9 years.

But now stopped taking medicine, because shethought everything was alright now. My personal life isvery much disturbed due to this. Always demandingunnecessary money like she does parlor expenses everyweek more than 2000, taking 15000 per month againsthousehold works, if I denied, she creates a scenequarrelling in a loud voice & threatening me that will go

Hy I am 24 years old female. On 22th March,something happened between us, from that timeto today, I am just waiting for him that he will

come to meet after lockdown, then we will sort out (weboth mutually decided to wait till we meet and thendecide what to do to keep the relationship or not). Wholefour months have passed like this. He used to talk justnormally, like a normal friends, so I get hurt.

Although he comes always to talk first, but those talksare not like before. Sometimes I feel he doesn’t love meanymore. (The thing that happened between us was mymistake and he was hurt and hence he asked for break sofrom then to todaywe are on break and I never talk tohim, I just wait for him) ..... For so long I kept hurtingmyself but still I always talked when he came to talk Icouldn't ignore him ever though I always got hurt becauseof his changed behavior. But yesterday I got out of mytolerance, so I told him that now we will talk directlywhen he will come to meet here.... today is 8 August andthereis no chance of traveling till September so he cannotcome to meet me till then.

I want that when we meet, everything should be fine.So, is it because of this gap, instead of being fine, there issomething else. Please tell me if this is a good distancefor a good time, it will make me worse or better. Thanks

Be mature and avoid traveling for a while. These kind ofmatters are very situational.But whenever your nextconversation will happen with that guy, whether on phoneor face to face, you must take decision. Communicationis the key, remember that. Good luck!

Iam 28 years old female. It's been one year since mymarriage. I work in the private sector and my husbandis in the government sector. It was a love marriage

after a lot of difficulties. I had to go against my family.Few months after my marriage, my father-in-law expiredfrom a disease. My husband has an elder brother who isalready settled with his family and has a job in anotherstate in his south.

That's the settlement. And he doesn't care much aboutme. I live here with my husband and my mother-in-law.My mother-in-law is good, not too bad. And my husbandloves his mother a lot. More than me. He can't leave heralone. But now the problem has come that he ask her towalk with him everywhere. Wherever we go, we go,outing everywhere. I can't spend a quality time withthem. Our privacy is no more.

I love spending time alone with them who is too littlenow. I feel very bad because it is our love marriage. It'sbeen one years since we got married and we can't spend

Q A&Personal Problems

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HI am 23 year old female. I have passed mygraduation and now I'm preparing for governmentexams. I met with a guy in my coaching institute

who was in my same batch. We became friends and healways helps me in my studies. We have known each othersince 7-8 months.

Now, he proposed me. He is a nice guy and hardworking too and well qualified and always motivates me.And about to get a government job soon. He is 2 yearsolder than me. But now the problem is i also have a bestfriend since my college days. And when i told about thisproposal to him he confessed to me that he also loves mesince college days. And started yelling at me if i say yes tothat guy he will never talk to me. And our good long termfriendship may end. But he is just my good friend howcan he say like this.

He don't want to understand anything. What should ido now? But in future points of view,I think i should sayyes to that guy. Because he is well qualified and want toget government job. Should i say yes to that guy or mybest friend? But the point is i don't want to lose both...

Please focus on yourself, you don't know if the personwho proposed you now will remain the same after gettinggovernment job. Your friend is threatening to break thefriendship if you go for any other guy. Observe thisattitude. Keep both of them at a distance, the right onewill find his way back to you. You can't lose someonewho's afraid of losing you.

Iam 21 years old female. I came from very conservativefamily where my family decides whom should I talkwith and they don't allow me to have male friends. I

don't go out from my house with my friends much as myfamily doesn’t allow me.

So I needed someone whom I can share my problemswith. I love a guy and he likes me to. He used to call medaily and he was the love I was searching for. He was myescape but as days passed, he started to change. Now hehardly calls and whenever I call him he didn't pick or hesays that he is busy.

Even if he is online, he didn't reply to my text. I justneeded someone whom I can share my every littlefeelings. Is it too much to ask for? I feel suffocated now. Idon't talk with anyone. My friends are also busy with theirlife so I don't disturb them....What should I do? I feel verylonely sometimes.

He is not interested in you and did not love you. Andwhatever your parents do,its for your welfare. They didnotforced you for anything. Otherwise you can’t be able totalk to that guy or meet him. They are not that muchconservative. So don’t try on him. Try to move on. Andyou can talk to anyone. It can be your siblings, parents,and friends.

to the police, why did you marry me if you can't take myburden.

She left the home more than thrice in the last 6 months,later I found her back from hotels, as she created scenes inhotels as well by biting my 3 years daughter. My Mother isa Widow & depended on me, but my wife never allows herto come here to stay with me & doesn't allow me to gonear her as well.

I suffered in depression and had to take medicine for20 days for mental stability. Our marriage happened inDec 2012, before we were staying in living from 2008 to2012, I am taking all responsibilities of her from 2008. Needyour suggestion what do, she is not ready give divorcemutually. I am just fade off with my life.

It is a very complicated matter, seems like you haveendured a lot, no one deserves a life you are living in ...besides, you have a child.You need to focus on yourdaughter's future, it’s not only you and her now, you bothgot a child too. Try to seek this matter out in the presenceof elders. or you can go for a divorce, it would be better tostay alone then in an abusive relationship... make sure youhave all the evidence against her before she files a fakecase on you. You need to keep the evidence safe just makevideos secretly while she misbehaves or try to hurt you ...take care!

Iam 25 year old female. I made profile on matrimonialsite through which i got one request i talked to hisfather and to that boy. It had been 20-25 days since we

are talking. Initial days of talk, he used to be busy as he is adoctor and used to ignore me later on when we got toknow each other he started to care a little.

I tried my best to make him comfortable during ourconversation so he can open up. I called him from my sidegave him flowers on friendship day. Before he doesn’t usedto call nowadays he do we talk for hours he is attractedbut still he doesn’t open up something had happenedduring his college life that too he didn’t tell. He never askedme about my past. Few days before he said that there issomething if we gonna talk about them things will getdestroyed.

I literally forced him but still he didn’t tell me...he sayme when time will come he will tell me...and to be veryhonest i can’t understand the concept of this go with flowneed time. How come I will be sure and that person is notread to open up although he is attracted but when i askhim if i stop talking to you then he said i will feel sad forsomeday then will get busy and things will be normal. Hehas a very casual attitude.

He say if you don’t talk to me then I m going to cry for2-3 days then would be normal...see don’t have problem inhis taking time issue but what if I get more attached andthe problem increases. What will I do?

Clearly, he is forced by his family to get married andyou are wasting time with him.You know everything butstill not clear about it. Just look for other options and leaveit as you already told it's not going to affect him much.Youshould let it go.

Have you a personal problem of any nature, which you hesitate to discuss with your family or friends? Share it with us. WE will try to help you.Address your letters to:WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055.


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WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO TODAY WHEN YOU CAN't

get help at the county hospital unless you havesome money up front. It's after Christmas I aint

got no damn money. I don't have insurance because i don'thave a job. i went to several regular dentist offices and oneeven gave me a free exam to see what wrong and told methat the infection in my tooth has began spreading to therest of my teeth and they need to be taken out immediatelybecause it's a health issue. They wanted a huge amountthat i do not have. They can look you in the eyes and tell yousomething like that and do nothing. And all i can do is thinkif something was to happen to me what would happen tothe numerous dentist offices i went to. Would they starthaving compassion for people? What should I do? Whereshall I go?

Well, in case you don’t have a job right now and you needto get treated, you can ask help from your friends or family.You can borrow money now and can return it when you starta job. If you will tell them your problem, they surely willhelp you.

IAM CURRENTLY 20 YEARS OLD RESIDING AT MY MOTHER’S house.Living off of her... though more so she's living off of me.She has to take care of my sister’s 3 kids; 7 year old girl, 6

year old girl, and a 14 month old. When the 14 month wasfirst born was the day all the kids were taken away fromher. My sister currently has 6 kids, which she is responsiblefor none of, currently. Which I find very unfair... She bringschildren into this world, and we're forced to take care ofthem. Where's the logic in this? But I digress.

The only thing that really makes me feel better aboutmyself is learning. Knowing more stuff than others, so thatway I've something to cling onto for respect... Though halfthe time I can't even do that.

I've no idea what to do anymore.Well, life is hard for everyone. It depends on the way you

see it. One way or the other, you have to be patient and havehope. Eventually, everything will fall into place. You need tohave courage and find ways to accomplish your goals. Youneed to set your goals and focus on what’s right for you andwhat needs to be done. Stay calm, take care.

IAM A 23 YEAR OLD FEMALE, I AM A PROFESSIONAL, AND I REALLY

want to fight. Not with anyone in particular, I just havefrequent urges to just get in a fight with someone... I

mean like a serious fight. I have not told anyone about thisas I know no one would understand. Even I don't understandeither. But I am really close to just go out to a random placeand just pick a fight with another woman. My family knowsabout this and they want to help me but this only makes


me furious. I then tend to get a fight with them.It’s like, I don’t need anger management, and Ijust want to be left alone.

Well, if your family is insisting on you to gofor anger management, you definitely should.You should consult with a counselor and tell himabout this issue. This tendency of fighting is notgood for you and can even affect your health inthe long run.

IAM IN LOVE WITH A MAN AND HE IS IN LOVE WITH ME. WE HAVE

the same life goals and our personalities would make agreat marriage. But I can’t commit to him, even as his

girlfriend because I couldn’t face my family if I screwed upand had another failed relationship. It isn’t fair to him tomake him wait for something that may never happen but Idon’t want to lose him...

It is absolutely aright if you are living with your parents.Every family has ups and downs but dealing with it andmoving on is what a perfect family is. It is normal to haveissues in life. Just go with the flow.

MY FRIENDS TALK ABOUT ME BEING ANNOYING when i amdrunk, if i keep my mouth shut when they makeme wanna shoot myself, when they're wasted,

because I’m a good friend. It also hurts to hear that they alltalk about me as annoying guy when i had the biggest letdown in my life, while i was there holding them for theirs.And i always will be. I hope they feel terrible about sayingthose things about me. I sometimes wish i could die, just soeveryone would realize what they were to me was nothinglike i was to them.

If this is the case with your friends, you should makeefforts and try to connect with them. Communication is thekey to all the problems. Let it out and talk to them. Askthem what’s wrong and how can you make things better.Once they see the good in you, they will surely value you.Take care!

IRECENTLY BROKE OFF AN ENGAGEMENT TO A MAN WHO WAS

emotionally abusive. Since then i have had many menpursue me but i don’t feel like any of them are actually

available for me. But i am only interested in one. He has toldme that if i will be with him that he will leave his girlfriend forme. I actually love this guy but i don’t want to be with him ifhe leaves one girl for another. I feel he is off-limits. However,i am tired of being lonely and i am considering going back tomy ex fiancé because I know he will take me back and i sodon’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. My family hateshim they will never speak to me if i go back. But i am sotempted to, i feel like i can’t get anyone else.

You need to hold up your emotions and feel positive. Youwill definitely find someone, maybe it will take time, but yousure will. You need to be patient and not make an impulsivedecision. You know that this guy has emotionally harassedyou and your family wants you to be in safe hands. If youwant to be happy, do not fall for any of these guy. You will seethe right one coming soon after you let these guys let go.

Q A&My Family, My Friends and Me...

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The secret sex lives of older people that can make us rethink our idea of intimacy.By Himshikha Shukla


Sexual activity is an essentialpart of intimate relationships,though it tends to decline as

people get older. But althoughresearch shows that frequency ofsexual activity can decrease withage, for many older people, sex stillremains an important part of theirlife.

There’s a commonmisconception that as people age,

they lose their interest in sex andcapacity for sexual behaviour. Butas a UK survey shows, this isn’t thecase. Indeed, the survey found that85% of men aged 60–69 reportbeing sexually active – as do 60% ofthose aged 70–79 and 32% of thoseaged 80 and over. Women werefound to be less sexually active asthey aged, but studies show that,just like men, many women also

want to continue to have sex asthey get older. Studies in the USreport similar levels of sexualactivity across these age groups.

And the fact that so many peopleare still having sex as they age isgood news, because as our newresearch seems to indicate, the lesssex older people have, the morelikely they are to experience mentaland physical health problems.

Happier And HealthierMaking Love In Older Age Could Make You

Still at itA research looked at the sex lives

of 2,577 men and 3,195 women aged50 and older. It was asked whetherthey had experienced a decline inthe last year in their level of sexualdesire, frequency of sexual activity,or ability to have an erection (men)or become sexually aroused(women).

Research found that men whoreported a decline in sexual desirewere more likely to go on todevelop cancer or other chronicillnesses that limited their dailyactivities. Men and women whoreported a decrease in thefrequency of sexual activities werealso more likely to experience adeterioration in how they ratedtheir level of health. And men witherectile dysfunction were also morelikely to be diagnosed with canceror coronary heart disease. It’simportant to note, however, thatchanges in sexual desire or functioncould have been a result of early-stage, undiagnosed disease.

Research also found that olderadults enjoy life more when theyare sexually active. And those whoexperience a decline in sexualactivity report poorer well-beingthan those who maintain theirlevels of sexual desire, activity andfunction in later life. Also found thatmen who are sexually active in laterlife continue to have bettercognitive performance compared tothose who don’t.

Feel good hormonesIt’s no secret that sex can help to

produce that “feel good” factor.This is largely because during sex,there is a release of endorphins,which generate a happy or elatedfeeling.

This doesn’t just impact ourmental health though, as higherendorphin levels are also associatedwith greater activation of theimmune system – which may reducethe risk of cancer and heart disease.

Research suggests that peoplewho engage in sexual intercoursewith their partner are also likely toshare a closer relationship. And

closeness to one’s partner is linkedwith better mental health.

It’s also important to rememberthat sex is a form of physicalactivity – often performed at amoderate intensity – which burnsclose to four calories a minute. Allexercise comes with health benefits– and sex is no different. So, it’sdefinitely possible that you couldgain mental and physical healthbenefits from regular sexualactivity.

Trying new positionsOf course, sex is not the only

factor that can help to improvehealth and well-being in older age.But as our research shows, olderadults are not devoid of sexualdesire, and an active sex life issomething that should beencouraged. Indeed, it’s possiblethat a regular and problem-free sexlife can lead to better mental (andpossibly physical) health.

But information on andencouragement to try new sexualpositions and explore differenttypes of sexual activity isn’tregularly given to older people. Andin many cases, when it comes toolder people and sex, doctors oftenput their heads in the sand, anddon’t really want to talk about it.

But it may well be that suchdiscussions could help to challengenorms and expectations aboutsexual activity. And as our researchshows, it could also help people tolive more fulfilling and healthierlives – well into older age.


IT’S NO SECRET THATSEX CAN HELP TOPRODUCE THAT “FEELGOOD” FACTOR. THIS ISLARGELY BECAUSEDURING SEX, THERE IS ARELEASE OFENDORPHINS, WHICHGENERATE A HAPPY ORELATED FEELING.

We

It very well may be difficult tokeep the romance alive whenyou are miles away from the one

you love. It is hard for some couplesto keep the flash lighted in anyevent, when they live in closenessor in a similar family unit together.In any case, for significant distanceconnections, it can be much moredifficult, since there is no daily face-to-face contact with one another.Rather than taking a gander at thedrawback of this, it is critical toremain positive in your reasoning onthe off chance that you are in thiskind of relationship. The separationbetween you doesn't need to be arestriction, yet a test to keepsentiment alive in an imaginativemanner! Appreciate!

Be Romantic Text informing and messages are

an extraordinary method to keep upcloseness among you and youraccomplice, despite the fact that

Keeping the romance alive in a long-distance relationship. By Sushila

Rejuvenate the you are separated. Essentiallysending a message that says "I loveyou" or "I miss you" can cause yourcherished one to feel extraordinary.You can even get enlivened andtype up a sonnet or a shortanecdote about you two and send itto them. Messaging an adorationletter about your emotions can puta grin all over, particularly in theevent that they are having a terribleday. Over and over again we get somade up for lost time in our ownlives and in ourselves that wedisregard to value our accompliceor life partner. By valuing theindividual, you love, regardless ofwhether it is through content,email, or a call, you will keep upsentiments of closeness betweenyou.

Have an Online Date: In case that you are in a distance

relationship and don't have Skype,presently might be a decent an idealopportunity to download it!Utilizing a video webcam to seeyour accomplice doesn't need to beconstrained to talking; it very wellmay be a hotspot for really goingout on the town.

Deal with an online date like acontinuous date: dress pleasantly,talk impractically to one another,have supper together, talk aboutyour day, even observe a filmtogether (through You Tube oranother source).

A few couples like to playcomputer games all together tointerface or take an interest indifferent exercises that the two ofthem appreciate.

DEAL WITH AN ONLINEDATE LIKE ACONTINUOUS DATE:DRESS PLEASANTLY,TALK IMPRACTICALLYTO ONE ANOTHER,HAVE SUPPERTOGETHER, TALKABOUT YOUR DAY,EVEN OBSERVE A FILMTOGETHER (THROUGHYOUTUBE ORANOTHER SOURCE).

Go on a Virtual Date: How does a candlelight supper at

home sound? Or on the other handwhat about a day sitting at the seashore and viewing the dusktogether? This is the advantage ofvirtual dating. It's simple for youand your accomplice to make asymbol for yourselves andafterward meet each other in thevirtual world to visit and date. Thereare numerous things you can do inthe virtual world together – fromgoing on a romantic night out tobattling beasts together (for theindividuals who appreciatecomputer games). Despite the factthat you and your accomplice arenot in real contact, a virtual datecan be energizing and a method ofinterfacing with one another.

Send a Gift: A most loved adoring motion

when conditions separate you andyour accomplice is sending ablessing. There are numerous sitesthat offer incredible blessingthoughts for couples in significantdistance connections. Theseincorporate significant distancerelationship arm bands, pieces ofjewellery, pads, attire, and even alove letter in a container. You canlikewise make a thoughtful blessing,for example, a video of youtogether, a collection withphotographs of you two, or a circleof your preferred love tunes.

Express your emotionSignificant distance connections

can be troublesome inwardly,particularly during the occasionswhen you miss your accomplice. Atthe point when this happens it isacceptable to think emphaticallyand take activities that will lift youout of your misery, regardless ofwhether it is hard. Connecting and

sending your adored one a sweettext or romantic email causes youexpress your emotions and tellsthem you are considering them. Asweet motion can go far forsupporting the closeness andcloseness in a relationship thatoffers love and satisfaction.

Lost IntimacyHOW DOES ACANDLELIGHT SUPPERAT HOME SOUND? ORON THE OTHER HANDWHAT ABOUT A DAYSITTING AT THE SEASHORE AND VIEWINGTHE DUSK TOGETHER?THIS IS THEADVANTAGE OFVIRTUAL DATING. IT'SSIMPLE FOR YOU ANDYOUR ACCOMPLICE TOMAKE A SYMBOL FORYOURSELVES ANDAFTERWARD MEETEACH OTHER IN THEVIRTUAL WORLD TOVISIT AND DATE.

Tips for healthyrelationships

Healthy relationships havebeen shown to increase ourhappiness, improve health andreduce stress. Studies show thatpeople with healthy relationshipshave more happiness and lessstress. There are basic ways tomake relationships healthy andhappy, even though everyrelationship is different.

We

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Train number was12316 Guwahati toTrivandrum. It was a

train which hardly ran ontime. If it maintains thetime it was mostly likelylate by a day. When Iwaited for it at NewJolpaiguri the situation wasmuch better. The traincame only two hours late. Iwas undertaking such along journey – from thereall the way to Trivandrum –for the first time after myPatna days in the earlynineties. This trip wasunavoidable. Nripen da hadcome all the way toMadurai to attend mydaughter's marriage. I hadto reciprocate. Moreover, it

was like college reunion,meeting all the old

colleagues of yesteryears.Mine was a side upperberth in the II AC coach.When I slept before thetrain crossed Malda atabout nine in the night, thelower berth was empty.

When the train stoppedat Cuttack, it was eight inthe morning. The sun wasalready up. I woke up andclimbed down. There wasan old lady in her lateseventies sitting in thelower berth. As I was tryingto sit elsewhere, she invitedme to sit on the seatopposite to hers. She was inan off-white sari with greyborder. She held a smallgarland of tulsi beads in herhand. After murmeringsome mantras she wore itaround her neck.

Apparentlyshe was a

widow. Sheopened the talk

with a smilingface. In an

eastern accentshe asked inHindi "Whereare you up to?"

When I said Trivandrum,she looked very consoled.She said, "We are alsogoing there. My son is inthe sleeper coach. He didnot get a seat here. He saidhe has already told you totake care of me...."

The cell phone kepthanging like a longnecklace rang and sheanswered the call. The talkwas either in Assamese or asimilar language, I couldonly make out that it washer son who told her thathe could not come as thevestibule was locked. Shetold him that thecopassenger was takingcare etc....

Subsequentconversation revealed thatshe got into the train fromHowrah. Her son worked inKolkata. Her husband diedyears back. They recentlysold off their land andfamily property inBongaigaon and purchaseda flat in Salt Lake area inKolkata. She wanted to goon a pilgrimage. It is beingstarted from Trivandrum.

That’s life. By Indu Durgadas

Zindagi Ka Safar...

ShortStory

As I was trying to sit elsewhere,she invited me to sit on the seatopposite to hers. She was in anoff-white sari with grey border.She held a small garland of tulsi

beads in her hand. Aftermurmering some mantras she

wore it around her neck.Apparently she

was a widow.

She opened the ta lkwith a smi l ing face.In an easternaccent she asked inHindi "Where areyou up to?" When Isa id Tr ivandrum,she looked veryconso led. She sa id,"We are a lso go ingthere. My son is inthe s leeper coach.He did not get aseat here. He sa idhe has a l ready to ldyou to take care ofme.. . . "

Next might beRameswaram, only her sonknew. She had broughtonly a small bag. But itcontained the essentialfood items like rotis, picklesetc. She kept reading somemantras from a book whenshe was not sleeping ortalking to me.

When the train reachedVishakhapatnam, in

the evening there was a callfrom her son telling that hecame half way through, butthe train left before hecould reach the coach.

The train was in Chennaithe next morning. I got uponly after the train left thestation. By three in theafternoon, the train crossedover to Kerala. I was feelingrelieved.

The lady ( by now I hadtaken permission to call herma) was a bit worried fornot having received any callfrom her son. When Ichecked up the cell phone,

the charge had got drained.The cell phones don't workwhen needed most. She didnot have the charger either.

The train dragged itselfon to the number oneplatform of TrivandrumCentral station at about 11.30 pm. I helped Ma gettingout of the coach. I decidedto wait for her son to comeand pick her up.

"Sir, where are youcoming from?" Kishen Lalcame and greeted me.Kishen was a caretaker-cum-security guard in ourapartment complex. Hehad also come in the sametrain after his holidays.Kishen was staying in arented house along with afew other boys belongingto the village near myapartment complex.

Alas, even after half anhour of waiting, there wasno sign of ma's son.Apparently something waswrong. I sent Kishen to thecoaches to check if anyone

was sleeping. He cameback after 15 minutes witha negative answer. Thetrain started moving to theyard and ma was in tears. Itook her son's number andtried calling from my cell.The call was going through.The number was non-existent.

I was in a dire dilemma.Since I knew the railofficials, I could leave thedetails with them withoutregistering a case. One ofthe officials advised me notto pursue it further as suchcases were on the increaserecently and the son wouldnever turn up.

I had the shock of mylife. But consoled ma andpersuaded her to go withKishen Lal for that night.Kishen's number andparticulars were also givento the railway officials.

After reaching home Inarrated the story to mywife. She said, " Good thatyou didn't feel pity and

bring her in our house".What else would have beensaid by her ? She was theone who sent my mother tothe old age home!

I was on a business tourfor next three weeks.During the morning walk, Isaw Kishen and ma walkingnear the apartmentcomplex.

Kishen told that heenquired at the station afew days back. There wasno information. Ma saidthat she was taken to thetemple by Kishen.

She also hoped that herson would come soonerthan later. But it seemedthat she had reconciledwith reality. She said shewas pleased to be with fournew sons.

As I continued the walk,a song started flowingthrough the ear phone.......

"Zindagi ka safar, hai ekaisa safar,

Koi samjha nahi, koijaana nahi.........

Apparently something waswrong. I sent Kishen to the

coaches to check if anyone wassleeping. He came back after 15

minutes with a negativeanswer. The train started

moving to the yard and mawas in tears. I took her son's

number and triedcalling from my cell.

We


The current pandemic and theensuing lockdowns and selfimposed quarantine have

forced us all into an unprecedentedconfrontation with the self. Cut offfrom the day to day busy routineswhich acted as a source of escapefrom the troubles that plagued us,the pandemic has forced each of usto undertake an inward journeywithin ourselves, within theconfines of our home, revaluatingour choices, our life’s trajectory, ourfailures and our accomplishments;an introspection which has notnecessarily been pleasing to many.Constantly bombarded by themedia with the updated statisticsof the number infected andrecovered, living under a bleakshadow of the impending doom,combined with our own sense offailure and depression,unfortunately, some have lostall hope and will to survive andopted for death by suicideinstead, and hence theincreased spike in thenumber of suicidesobserved in our societyrecently.

Suicide and thePandemic:A Sociological PerspectiveSocial complexity, modernity and suicide. By Rachna Chhokar

This present article is not meantto provide a psychological solutionbased approach, but merely is ahumble attempt from thestandpoint of a student of sociologyat analyzing where we as a societyare going wrong, whether oursociologists’ theorization of suicidesheds some insight into the currentsituation and how can we as asociety stand together and surviveit. The significance of thesociological understanding is that itbrings a realization that suicide isnot revolving merely aroundpersonal dispositions or mental/emotional quotient, or troubles ofthe individual rather is a malady ofthe society as a whole, a product ofthe destabilized social and culturalmilieu.

Suicide has been theorized bymany thinkers over the centuriesbut leading the structuralfunctionalists, Durkheim’s LeSuicide (1987) proved to be awatershed in the discourse onsuicidology as it situated the causeof suicide in the breakdown of thesocial cohesion and the changingrelationship of the individual withthe society. Emile Durkheim usingmultivariate statistical analysis andclassified different types of suicidesbased on different types ofrelationship between the actor andhis society. According to him,Egoistic suicide happens when aman becomes socially isolated andfeels usually cut off from themainstream of society. Altruisticsuicide occurs when individuals andthe group are too close andintimate and results from the overthe integration of the individual intosocial proof, Satipratha being anexample. Anomic suicide is due to acertain breakdown of socialequilibrium, such as suicide afterbankruptcy or after winning alottery. Finally, fatalistic suicide isdue to overregulation in society forexample, when a servant or slavecommits suicide, or when a barrenwoman commits suicide. This line ofthought was carried further byMaurice Halbwachs, Sainsbury, D.Lester, EH Powell, and others. Here

it is not so much the types of suicidethat are relevant. But the fact thatin societies the transition fromtraditional to modern such as ours,in these times of pandemic it is thedisintegrating and diluting socialstructures that are causing thecurrent spike of suicide.Globalization and industrializationhave caused a shift from jointtowards nuclear families and thedilution of the traditional emotionalsupport system on one hand, and atthe same time, the unrealistic jobexpectations and work-relatedstress, competition, andachievement based meritocracy areall creating a high pressure based


environment with practically novent out, driving many to panic-driven anxiety attacks, mentalhealth issues and depression andfinally suicide if unheeded to.

What aggravate the situation arethe traditional taboos surroundingmental health issues, ‘the log kyakahenge’ syndrome plaguing oursociety. Our medical understandingof mental issues is superficial atbest; commonsensicalunderstanding misdiagnosingdepression and anxiety as weaknessor a phase or just mood swings thatwill end eventually, rather than anillness needing medical attentionakin to physical ailments. All thesefactors create an environment ofdespair and hopelessness for theindividuals driven thus to suicide.What is needed thus is toreintegrate as a society, as acommunity, as a family,reprioritizing our commitmentstowards our loved ones, ourneighbors, and the community as awhole. Mental health issues need tobe destigmatised and a healthydialogue needs to be initiated sothat people are drawn out to talkabout their problems in a judgmentfree environment.

SUICIDAL TENDENCIESContrary to the above, another

understanding of suicide has beenproposed by the conflict theoristsinitiated by Karl Marx and carriedforth by Bordieu. Karl Marx linkedthe suicidal tendencies tostructurally institutionalizedoppression of weaker sections ofthe society like women. Bordieurelated it to unequal access of onlya privileged few to social capital i.e.social networks, relationships,norms, and trust which also meantunequal access to resources,opportunity, development, wealth,and progress. In a transitionalsociety such as ours, this is again avery relevant understanding, ascontrary to the espousedconstitutional values of equalityembodied within the fundamentalrights, our society is still ridden by

DURKHEIM’S LESUICIDE (1987) PROVEDTO BE A WATERSHED INTHE DISCOURSE ONSUICIDOLOGY AS ITSITUATED THE CAUSEOF SUICIDE IN THEBREAKDOWN OF THESOCIAL COHESION ANDTHE CHANGINGRELATIONSHIP OF THEINDIVIDUAL WITH THESOCIETY.

glass self notion) becomesimportant. In our transitionalsociety, a dichotomy can beobserved today especially, whereon one hand everyone is sopreoccupied with his/ her life thatthey are unable to spare qualitativeand quantitative time for cultivatingmeaningful empathetic sustainablerelationships with one another, onthe other hand, yet they obsessabout how they are perceived byothers, this trend no less fed into bythe social media, Instagram,Twitter, Facebook and the like.

The superficiality of theserelations creates a sense ofloneliness in individuals, ultimatelywithdrawal, aversion, outbursts ofanger, which the current pandemichas fed into, leading to greatersuicidal tendencies. It is time nowfor us to look past this façade, andto reach out, reconnectmeaningfully, vulnerably, honestlyand sustainably with others as thesereal life bonds alone matter ratherthan virtual ones.Ultimately theabove schools are just differentways to look at the abject crudereality of suicide staring in our facetoday, but all schools of thoughtdrive home one single point that theonly way to survive is for the societyto survive as a unit together, in asymbiotic relationship with all itsconstituting individuals, a unit thatfocuses on holistic growth of all itsindividuals equally.

As regarding us, we need to starttaking care of mental health in abetter manner, especially amidstthe increasing work pressure andjob related stress. The focus needsto be on ensuring a stable work lifebalance, cultivating empatheticmeaningful relationships, andespecially finding ways toperiodically decompress andrejuvenate ourselves throughmeditation, Vipassana, or thecultivation of new hobbies and fieldof interests. Ultimately for ourmental resilience, we need to startseeking happiness in the mundaneand the ordinary rather than keepwaiting for only the exceptional andextraordinary.


We

It’s human nature to stressabout things that have yet tohappen, but when you thinkabout it rationally, what’s thepoint? You can’t predict thefuture, & you can’t changesomething that has not evenhappened yet.

instrumental to this understanding.Weber and Mead explored how theinteraction of the actor as an activeagent helps develop our personalityas a result of social experience.Again in this context how weperceive ourselves from thevantage point of others (the looking

the structural inequity along caste,class, race, gender, religion, regionand many such identities. And whatcould have highlighted the inequitybetter than the present daypandemic that has aggravated thewoes of the unorganized sectorlabour class in our society? A recentcase of suicide by a poor farmerunable to provide a computersystem to his child for the onlinestudy conducted by the child’sschool comes to mind. ThoughGovernment is exceptionallyspearheading the efforts toensuring the welfare of thisaffected lot, the troubled timesrequire the mobilization of the civilsociety as a whole in the reliefefforts, working in coordination andsupporting the efforts of theGovernment to ensure that theaffected lot are not driven todespair and further suicide.

SYMBOLICINTERACTIONALISM

Symbolic Interactionalism of MaxWeber and G H Mead balance thesocietal and individual componentsin the understanding of the suicide.Symbolic interactionalism andphenomenologist’s emphasize theshared world view and the socialreality created through the day today interactions of people as

AS REGARDING US, WENEED TO START TAKINGCARE OF MENTALHEALTH IN A BETTERMANNER, ESPECIALLYAMIDST THEINCREASING WORKPRESSURE AND JOBRELATED STRESS. THEFOCUS NEEDS TO BE ONENSURING A STABLEWORK LIFE BALANCEAND FIELD OFINTERESTS.

Feel Happy and Stress-free


WE ARE MOSTLY HEARING ABOUT THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF

GREEN OR herbal teas. Doesn’t the normal blacktea too has some health benefits?

This is true, black tea is rarely mentioned in the contextof health benefits of the wonder drink-tea. But surprisinglyblack tea does have quite a few health benefits.

The antioxidants that are present in black tea aredifferent from those obtained from fruits and vegetablesand therefore provide additional benefits towards ahealthy lifestyle.

Black tea helps relieve stress and boosts and improveour immune system. Black tea is an oxidised tea which isalso low in caffeine.

PLEASE TELL US ABOUT THE WONDER NUT “WALNUT” AS THE WINTER

SEASON IS APPROACHING.Walnuts also known as the powerhouse of nutrition,

and are the only tree nuts that provide an excellent sourceof plant based omega-3ALA.

Walnuts also provide us with protein, f ibre,manganese, magnesium, phosphorous, zinc, selenium,vitamins B and E and the fat it has is all good fat. It is oneof the richest dietary sources of antioxidants - among allother nuts and berries.

Walnuts enhance the growth of beneficial bacteria thatsupport gut health. Help to improve heart health byreducing inflammation and improving blood vesselfunction.

WHY IS IT SAID- GO NUTS IN MODERATION EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE

HEALTHY AND BENEFICIAL FOR US?All things however beneficial for us are good as long as

they are consumed in moderation. Nuts are loaded withcalories. A handful or an ounce is just the right portion for aday. Sprinkle chopped nuts four or five times a week oncereal, yoghurt, salads, vegetables, chicken or fish, stirfries, or soups. Avoid nuts fried in ghee or oil; instead eatthem raw or dry roasted. Also keep away from salted nuts.

HOW CAN WE INCORPORATE THE WONDER NUT WALNUT IN OUR DIET?Walnuts can be incorporated in the diet in a number of

ways. They can be used as an healthy and filling snack. Canbe roasted and added to salads, soups and sauces. Can alsojust churn them in banana and mango smoothies or can beeaten as is and their nutritive value remains the same.

WHICH FOODS SHOULD BE CONSUMED TO BOOST IMMUNITY?The immune system is the body’s natural defence

mechanism against infections and ailments. To maintain ahealthy and strong immune system, fresh, nutritious and

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homemade food is the secret. Leafy greens arehigh in magnesium, calcium, iron and othermicronutrients.

Eggs are a superfood- boiled, poached,scrambled or as an omelette. Egg yolk is astorehouse of vital minerals, vitamins andantioxidants. Homemade yoghurt is full ofprobiotics. Mixed nuts and not just almonds,

together with some roasted seeds are also a must forgreat immunity.

WHICH FOODS SHOULD BE AVOIDED TO MAINTAIN A STRONG IMMUNE

SYSTEM?Strong immunity keeps diseases at bay. To build and

boost our immune system we must revert to ourtraditional ways of eating ie consume freshly cookedhome food and avoid packaged, processed and junk foodwhich contain trans fats and excessive amounts of saltand sugar.

“THERE IS MAGIC IN THE KITCHEN”, HOW FAR IS THIS STATEMENT

TRUE IN THIS PANDEMIC?This is just our positive attitude that helps us to see the

glass half full even in such difficult times. India is a land ofspices. We already have some amazing spices stored inour kitchen that work wonders for immunity build-up.Some of them which are highly recommended are freshturmeric, holy basil, mint, cloves, black pepper, cinnamon,dried or fresh ginger and dry nuts.

The cur cumin in the turmeric helps to controlinflammation and is a very strong antioxidant. Holy basil,better known as tulsi is also rich in antioxidants and mint isrich in anti-inflammatory properties. Along with anutritious meal cooked at home a handful of dry nuts canboost your immunity.

HOW CAN WE STIFFEN A NO-BAKE CHEESE CAKE?There are two methods to prepare cheese cakes, one is

the baked version and the second is the no-bake cheesecake. To stiffen the no-bake cheese cake; the mostimportant step is to beat cold heavy cream into peaks.Then fold the whipped cream into the cheesecake fillinggently so you do not deflate the air. Refrigerate thecheesecake for at least 6-8 hours or overnight if possible.

IS A BAKED CHEESE CAKE BETTER THAN THE NO-BAKE CHEESE CAKE?Actually you cannot generalise that which cheese cake

is better than the other, as baked or no-bake cheese cakeshave completely different textures.

Baked cheesecake is dense and velvety, while no-bakecheesecake is light and airy. In baked cheesecake you mixthe cream cheese, egg, sugar and other ingredientstogether and usually minimal air incorporation is stronglyrecommended.

The cheese cake is baked in a water bath, then it chills inthe refrigerator. Freezing the cheesecake results in a too-hard- to- enjoy crust and filling.

— SAVITA BHARGAVA

Q A&Kitchen queries

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The charm of a mundane lifeSince childhood I always wanted

a life which ensured that I was onthe move all the time. A life filled tothe brim with lots of travel andexciting happenings every day. Iwould often wonder that myparents were tethered to live amundane life which involved livingat the same place and doing thesame work every day.

After I joined my job as aveterinary officer I promised myselfthat when I have earned enough Iwould leave my job and embark ona world tour some day. But it waseasier said than done.

I got married and graduated tomotherhood. With changednarratives arrived responsibilitieswhich dictated that I do not travel

far from home. I started dwelling inthe world of savings to be made formy daughter’s future whichinculcated in me the habit of beingfrugal. While the expenses kept onmounting every day and dutiesmultiplied manifold, the desire totour the world and to be on themove has taken a back seat now.

I wonder what will happen if I amnever able to visit those fabulousbeaches, those enchantingmuseums, those exotic locales ortake my kid to Disneyland. Will mylife be incomplete if I did not travelthe world and trudge thosedistances? Some days thesethoughts make me sad and I wonderif I would ever be able to initiate ajourney that would take me away tothe far corners of the world. Will I bea lesser mortal if I am not able to seethe world and experience therichness of other cultures? Is thiswhat I truly need to be happy?

After this brief soliloquy, I forgetmy musings to myself and carry onwith my routine. I leave for work tofulfill my professional obligations.Later on, I pick up my daughter

from school and get back home,help her with homework and carryon with multitudes of home chores.

Over the years, I have found outthat this grind of daily routine andresponsibilities of life gives shape tomy mundane existence. A reasongood enough to begin every dayfrom scratch and with adetermination to accomplish all thatI intend to do in twenty-four hours.This everyday contentment in life isa reassurance that I am playing allroles to my best.

Something that should takeprecedence over my dreams ofnavigating the world. I mightembark on some journeys to far offdestinations some day but even if Iam not life does not loose itsmeaning because I have steppedinto an understanding that thebeauty of life lies in the ordinarinessof every single day.

The lure to see and experiencethose unknown shores stays alive inme but I have realised that there is acertain charm in being tethered to aplace and to things we value in life.

– Dr Rana Preet Gill, Hoshiarpur.


AS YOU SAY

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WOMAN'S ERA

PANDEMIC-INSPIERD LESSONS The article Pandemic-

Inspired lessons byRidhima Gupta,October 2020, throwslight on the valuablelessons that thepandemic (COVID-19)has taught us. Life has

become really hard for the peopledue to the financial crisis that they arefacing.Staying at home was verydifficult and following the safetynorms was hard but we managed tolearn some worthwhile lessons fromthis periad of crisis.

We have learned to live withinthe minimum reguired needs apartfrom helping the needy persons.Wehave come to realise that theimportance of family and friends inour life is priceless.

We have learned the value of selfdiscipline by putting masks and

maintaining social distance since weknow we will put our own andothers health at stake by violatingthe rules.

The major lesson that we havelearned is that human life is preciousand it is a real blessing to be beingalive.The wealth,status and powertake a back seat when the health isin danger.All of us need to adopt apractical attitude towards life.Wemust carry these lessons as lifealtering experience when thepandemic is over.

– Harinder Kaur, Jalandhar

"WHAT DOES BLOOD COLOUR MEAN?"

The article "Whatdoes blood colourmean?" ( Oct '20) wasan inspiring read . It'ssurprising to knowthat the impuremenstrual blood sentout of our body has

so much of a meaning. Generallywe women, hardly bother to lookinto the colour of this blood ,as wewhere unaware of its importance, forso long.

Reading this increased ourknowledge on how to judgeourselves as being healthy, when tofear & when not. The colour beinggray, orange or pink will hereafter

give us a 'warning bell' to visit theGynecologist soon ,without delayingas goes the saying -'A stitch in timesaves nine'.

The 'Lifestyle' issue of WE gaveme an insight into many topics whichwe hesitate to open up with our near& dear.

– Preetha RengaswamyMylapore, Chennai

"TRULY A GOOD SAMARITAN" This is with reference

to the article "Truly agood Samaritan" byVijayan Bala , Octoberissue. Yamini KumarJaipuria's selflesssocial service isremarkable. Her

words" The seeds of giving backto the community were sown at GE'shows her simplicity. Her educationalqualification abroad and her return toher motherland to serve theunderprivileged, shows her service-mindedness. Executing herphilanthropic arm with teammates atgrass root level, needs a special skill ofleadership qualities, which seems tobe inherent in her. By exposing suchenterprising women, WE is sure tomake many women take up thisprofession boldly.

– Vijayalakshmi Vijay, Andheri West, MumbaI

As women opening up about

their sexual issues, the taboo

attached with periods is

slowly getting crushed. It also

paved the way for women to talk

about their menstrual health at ease

and discuss about the various

challenges they face during that

particular period of time. Knowing

what your period blood should look

like might save you from very

dangerous conditions. Healthy

period blood typically varies from

bright red to dark brown or black.

Blood can change in color and

texture from month to month or

even during a single period.

Hormonal changes, as well as a

person’s diet, lifestyle, age, and

environment, can all cause

variations in period blood.

Infections, pregnancy, and, in rare

cases, cervical cancer, can cause

unusual blood color or irregular

bleeding. Any woman who is

pregnant and notices any bleeding

or unusual vaginal discharge should

speak with her obstetrician

immediately.

Colour of your period blood says about your health condition.

By Monika Aggarwal

What Does The

Blood Colour Mean?

What this year

2020 Taughtus-Pandemic- Inspired lessons.

By Ridhima Gupta

MyExperience!

The year 2020 is difficult for all

of us, and we have seen many

ups and downs in the first half

year itself. This year we are going

through Coronavirus (COVID-19)

pandemic because of which we are

locked in our homes. All the things

like work, gym,mall, society around

which our lives revolved seems us

now so temporary.

It has taught us, at last, our

home and valuable relationships is

with us in every situation which

keeps us safe. We all have learned

something in a good or a bad way

from this year. I would like to share

the lessons which I have learned

during this roller coaster year 2020

in 8 points.

Value Relationships

Treasure your loved ones a little

more every day, hug them a bit

tighter, talk to them for longer as

you never know when is the last

time you are doing so. In this

pandemic situation, we have

realized our lives and lives of our

loved ones is the only treasure we

have. As the people you give and

receive energy from are very

important which affects your

mental state directly. Though we

cannot meet our loved ones and

have to maintain, "social

distancing” in this situation but yes

we can be there for each other

through calls or playing online

games. Earlier, due to busy

schedules we could not have that

hours of conversation or time to

play virtual games which actually

helps us in healing our pains and

mental stress. So, we should value

every life around us and cherish

every moment with your loved

ones.

Cosmo Foundation, the

philanthropic initiative of Cosmo

Films, has been doing great service

for the betterment of the lives of

the under-privileged over the last

decade. It was during the Covid 19

and the lockdown that followed

that Cosmo Foundation earned

great appreciation for its

outstanding social service. This was

mainly due to the dynamic and

efficient leadership of Yamini Kumar

Jaipuria, Managing Trustee, Cosmo

Foundation and presently corporate

advisor to Cosmo Films. Yamini had

been associated with Cosmo Films

in a pro bono role for the last five

years. Yamini is a positive, confident,

intelligent and truly educated lady.

Just as her great father - Mr Ashwini

Kumar, a versatile genius who was

one of India's greatest police

officers, a great sports

administrator particularly in hockey

and the Olympic Movement, a

connoisseur of music and author-

cared for people under him, Yamini

with her team does the same for the

needy, aged and people in distress. I

spoke to Yamini about her

education, her earlier work

experience , the learnings from

them and the task she has

undertaken with Cosmo Films and

Cosmo Foundation.

What impact did your studying

abroad have on you ?

After finishing my schooling and

graduation from Modern School,

Barakhamba Road and St Stephen's

College respectively, I got into the

London School of Economics where

I pursued my Masters in

International Relations. I also

pursued a Masters in Business

Administration from the American

College in London. Apart from

appreciating another culture,

becoming more self- reliant and

gaining a global mind-set, I also

made friends for life. Studying

International Relations helped me

gain a better understanding of the

world especially the geo -political

aspects. It was truly an

unforgettable experience which has

greatly helped me.

You were Vice President in

General Electric. What were your

learnings there ?

General Electric will always be my

first love affair having spent my first

18 working years with the

organisation . It is truly a great

company with great people and

very strong ethical and moral

values. Heading the HR function

gave me a great understanding and

knowledge of business and

organizational operations. The role

taught me the importance of team

work, process , being credible and

honest in all my dealings - important

traits which hold me in good stead

in my current role of leading the

Cosmo foundation . The seeds of

giving back to the community were

sown at GE, as I was given the

opportunity to launch their

philanthropic arm which is now

called GE Foundation. I

spearheaded it for India and Asia

throughout my tenure with them.

Please tell readers how you go

about your role as Managing

Trustee, Cosmo Foundation.

I am able to execute my role

efficiently due to the support of a

super team that works at the

grassroots level. We interact on a

The poor and the under-

privileged in our country have

a tough time existing in

normal times. Their plight became

really bad with the advent of Covid

19 and the subsequent lockdown

which followed. The labourers and

the poor people not only lost their

jobs and places of stay but were

also forced to return to their native

places.

Service for betterment of under-privileged. By Vijayan BalaYamini Kumar Jaipuria

Truly a Good Samaritan

Yamini Kumar Jaipuria,

Managing Trustee at Cosmo Foundation.

48

Woman’s Era � October 2020

The prize is awarded to:R.SrinivasanSir, Appropos the

article "Teacher VsTechnology" by AditiMaheshwari making acomparative study ofteacher and technologywas informative and

made excellent read. Thoughtechnology linked to education hasgained monumental importance inrecent years, one must understandthat "teacher and the pupils" areinseparable in the first place. It is anaccepted fact that technology atbest will only be able to aid teachersharpen their skills and help adoptnewer and best methods accordingto modern times but in no wayreplace classroom teaching. Due to

pandemic and shut down ofschools, online classes were takenup to impart teaching to studentsso that students do not lose track ofstudies. But this is only temporary.Similarly technology cannot be asubstitute to qualified teacherstrained in behaviouial managementteaching children with love andunderstanding in a friendlyenvironment in order to makelearning interesting. As education isa process of empowerment ofchildren, teachers understand thatall children do not have identicalabilities, therefore they try toidentify weak students and focus onthem by giving special attention.

– R.Srinivasan New Bhoiguda Secunderabad

Can Technology Replace Teachers?

BY Aditi Maheshwari

Teacher VS

Technology

Technology can teach but how

to be self-aware is a teacher’s

role. Teachers are wonderful

souls who help their students

become more, they help their

students reach new heights which

even the teachers themselves could

not achieve, and this is pure

brilliance which can never be

compared. The greatness of living is

sometimes so subtly hided, that in

the ordinary course we fail to even

notice it. Technology can equip us

with facts and information but

teachers help build character. No

doubt technology ignites speed and

curiosity but leveraging soft skills to

keep humanity intact is a teacher’s

remarkable skill. Teacher’s attitude

is of serving unconditionally to

enhance the quality of life of their

students with their pleasure lies in

simply acknowledging that their

students become good human

beings and live happily and

successfully.

"TEACHER VS TECHNOLOGY"

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