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FEEDBACK TUTORIAL LETTER

1ST SEMESTER 2017

ASSIGNMENT 2

PROFESSIONAL WRITING

PWR611S

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PROFESSIONAL WRITING - PWR611S

TUTORIAL FEEDBACK LETTER

September 2016

ASSIGNMENT 2

Dear Student

Your second assignments were fairly well done by some of you – thank you very

much and keep on working hard. However, the overall performance was not pleasing

at all. However, for some of the assignments we marked it would seem as if you did

not even dare check the Study Guide to see how a report or proposal is written.

It is not so pleasing for us to inform you that generally the level of work we received

from you students in this first assignment is not what we expect. Maybe on a general

assessment the level of many of the assignments we marked is below what we have

marked from the other streams of students for the past years we have been teaching

this course. Therefore the score for many students was in the 40-50 range, which is

not so great. Worse still being that usually if you qualify to write the examinations in

the 40s range usually you may find it very difficult to make it in the examination.

Therefore be challenged to really buckle up and present a remarkable piece of work

with regards to the examination. You can still revise your work, read the study guide

to make amends and score higher.

Though of course there are some of you who presented really pleasing work and

scored very higher marks 80+ – that is very pleasing and we urge you to continue

working hard. We are deeply touched in a positive manner when we see you en

route to becoming professional writers. Keep it up!

What was pretty evident in the assignments which scored low marks was a general

lack of seriousness, failure to present professional work and an obvious failure to

make use of the Study Guide. Please note that your Study Guide was revised last

year to make it more competitive and helpful for you. There are a lot of examples in

the Study Guide for you to learn from. We will not set any question in the assignment

or the final examination which is not clearly explained and exemplified in the Study

Guide. And we repeat that please before attempting any question please consult the

Study Guide – you cannot assume – therefore be dead sure through making proper

use of the Study Guide. So please be more determined and make use of the Study

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Guide. The institution through COLL supplied each one of you with an individual

copy so that you can use it to the maximum. So you just have to make use of it,

please.

We are now going to give you the breakdown of the aspects we expected from you

and please note that even in the examination if that specific type of question will be

set, we will use the very same aspects as indicated here.

Firstly is the report. As we have indicated in the previous Feedback letter, the

memorandum headings should be clear to you by now. Then we come to the Terms

of Reference and we expected you to do address the following:

•The report begins with the terms of reference

•The terms of reference outline the background to the investigation, using

information from the instructions given

•Must mention dates associated, who requested it and what was requested

•It states the purpose of the report and the scope

•It indicates whether recommendations are required

After addressing these five aspects we now go to the Procedures/methods section

and we expect the following:

•The methods used are clearly outlined and enumerated if more than one is used

•The reasons for such methods are briefly mentioned

•Duration of each method used, number of people involved mentioned

In the Findings section please take note that you attempt to do the following:

•Each finding has been clearly outlined and numbered, headings provided

•The findings are clearly and logically drawn from the info given in the summary of

the survey, notes from the interview, reading etc.

•Each finding relates directly to the terms of reference and purpose of the report

Next will be the Conclusion section and we expect you to address the following: The

main points of the findings are summarized and implications given/conclusions

drawn. Then the next section is one where most of us still make mistakes – the

recommendations. Please take note that your recommendations are focused,

directed and should make sense to the commissioner of the report. In other words:

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•There are an appropriate number of recommendations as required by the findings

•Recommendations are specific, meant for use by the COMMISSIONER/COMPANY

involved in the investigation. In this case you had to direct your

recommendations to the CEO; and NOT the government, people, Afri

Beverages etc.

In addition to these components of the report, we also add some marks in relation to

the language and style. Here we look at the following: The language is formal,

accurate, professional and business-like / Full sentences are used / Readability

considered / Impersonal, objective language and style. Finally we look at the Format

and Presentation and we consider awarding marks if you address the following:

Cover page/memo heading with identification details at top of report / Sections in

correct order / Decimal numbering is accurate / Signature, completion date at the

bottom / Professional presentation.

Use the following Report check list. I will also help when you prepare for the exam.

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Terms of Reference The report begins with the terms of

reference

The terms of reference outline the

background to the investigation,

using information from the

instructions given

Must mention dates associated, who

requested it and what was requested

It states the purpose of the report

and the scope

It indicates whether

recommendations are required

Procedure/Method The methods used are clearly

outlined and enumerated if more

than one is used

The reasons for such methods are

briefly mentioned

Duration of each method used,

number of people involved

mentioned

Findings Each finding has been clearly outlined

and numbered, headings provided

The findings are clearly and logically

drawn from the info given in the

summary of the survey, notes from

the interview, reading etc.

Each finding relates directly to the

terms of reference and purpose of

the report

Conclusions The main points of the findings are

summarized and implications

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The Proposal:

given/conclusions drawn

Recommendations There are an appropriate number of

recommendations as required by the

findings

Recommendations are specific,

meant for use by

commissioner/company involved in

the investigation

Language & Style

The language is formal, accurate,

professional and business-like

Full sentences are used

Readability considered

Impersonal, objective language and

style

Format and presentation Cover page/memo heading with

identification details at top of report

Sections in correct order

Decimal numbering is accurate

Signature, completion date at the

bottom

Professional presentation

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When it comes to the Proposal, please make sure you understand and apply the

following components because they help you to construct a proper proposal. The

introduction should:

1. Introduction

* Indicate the purpose. Specify why the proposal is being made.

* Develop a persuasive hook. Suggest excellent results, low costs, or

exclusive resources. Identify a serious problem or name a key issue

or benefit.

Most proposals begin by briefly explaining the reasons for the proposal and by highlighting

the writer’s expertise. To make your introduction more persuasive, you need to provide a

“hook” to capture the reader’s interest. One proposal expert suggests these hook

possibilities:

• Hint at extraordinary results with details to be revealed soon.

• Promise low costs and speedy results.

• Mention a remarkable resource (well-known expert, new computer programme, well-

trained staff) available exclusively to you.

• Identify a serious problem and promise a solution, to be explained later.

• Specify a key issue or benefit that you feel is the heart of the proposal.

2. Background, problem

The background section identifies the problem and discusses the goals or purposes of the

project.

In an unsolicited proposal your goal is to convince the reader that a problem exists. Thus,

you must present the problem in detail, discussing such factors as monetary losses, failure

to comply with government regulations, or loss of customers.

In a solicited proposal your aim is to persuade the reader that you understand the problem

completely.

* Provide the necessary background. Discuss the significance of the

proposal and its goals or purposes.

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* Introduce the problem. For unsolicited proposals convince the reader

that a problem exists. For solicited proposals show that you fully

understand the problem and its ramifications.

The next section is the Proposal plan and this section should also do the following:

3. Proposal, plan

In the proposal section itself, you should discuss your plan for solving the problem. In some

proposals this is tricky, because you want to disclose enough of your plan to secure the

contract without giving away so much information that your services aren’t needed. Without

specifics, though, your proposal has little chance, so you must decide how much to reveal.

Tell what you propose to do and how it will benefit the reader. Remember too, that a

proposal is a sales presentation. Sell your methods, product, and “deliverables” –- items

that will be left with the client.

* Explain the proposal. Present your plan for solving the problem or

meeting the need.

* Discuss plan management and evaluation. If appropriate, tell how the

plan will be implemented and evaluated.

* Outline a timetable. Furnish a schedule showing what will be done

and when.

4. Staffing

The staffing section of a proposal describes the credentials and expertise of the

project leaders. It may also identify the size and qualifications of the support staff,

along with other resources such as computer facilities and special programmes for

analysing statistics. The staffing section is a good place to endorse and promote

your staff.

Furthermore, the Staffing section should address the following:

* Promote the qualifications of your staff. Explain the specific

credentials and expertise of the key personnel for the project.

* Mention special resources or equipment. Show how your support staff

and resources are superior to those of the competition.

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5. Budget

A central item in most proposals is the budget, A LIST OF PROPOSED PROJECT

COSTS. You need to prepare this section carefully, because it represents a

contract; you can’t raise the price later – even if your costs increase. You can – and

should – protect yourself with a deadline for acceptance.

In the budget section some writers itemise hours and costs; others present a total

sum only.

For example, for the proposal in this assignment, a detailed line-by-line budget is

needed to justify the budget for the workshop. Unlike the study guide example, this

budget should not include a proposal to conduct a survey, but rather should include

all items you would need for the workshop. Your analysis of the project will help you

decide what kind of budget to prepare.

The budget section has to be well thought out because it represents a contract which

may not be changed willy nilly at a later stage. Thus please make sure that you

address the following under the budget section:

* Show project costs. For most projects itemise costs. Remember,

however, that proposals are contracts and you cannot change the

price later.

* Include a deadline. Here or in the conclusion present a date beyond

which the bid figures are no longer valid.

Then finally we also have the Authorisation section and the following aspects are

noteworthy:

6. Authorisation request

Informal proposals often close with a request for approval or authorisation. In

addition, the closing should remind the reader of the key benefits and motivate

action. It might also include a deadline beyond which the offer is invalid.

* Informal proposal closes with a request for approval or authorisation.

* The closing should remind the reader of the key benefits and motivate

action.

* It might also include a deadline beyond which the offer is invalid.

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Finally, let me conclude by summarising the above. Use the following check list even

when you prepare for the exam.

Checklist for proposal sections

1. Introduction

Indicate the purpose. Specify why the proposal is being made.

Develop a persuasive hook. Suggest excellent results, low costs, or exclusive resources.

Identify a serious problem or name a key issue or benefit.

Briefly mention author’s expertise.

2. Background, problem, goals

Provide the necessary background. Discuss the significance of the proposal and its goals or

purposes.

Introduce the problem. For unsolicited proposals convince the reader that a problem exists.

For solicited proposals show that you fully understand the problem and its ramifications.

Proposal, plan

Explain the proposal. Present your plan for solving the problem or meeting the need.

Discuss plan management and evaluation. If appropriate, tell how the plan will be

implemented, evaluated and monitored.

Outline a timetable. Furnish a schedule showing what will be done, by whom and when.

Staffing

Promote the qualifications or expertise of your staff. Explain the specific credentials and

expertise of the key personnel for the project.

Mention special resources or equipment. Show how your support staff and resources are

superior to those of the competition.

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Budget

Show project costs. For most projects itemise costs. Remember, however, that proposals

are contracts and you cannot change the price later.

Include a deadline. Here or in the conclusion present a date beyond which the bid figures

are no longer valid.

Authorisation request

Close with a request for approval or authorisation.

Remind reader of key benefits and motivate action.

Give deadline beyond which offer becomes invalid.

After all these components have been included in the proposal, we also award some

more marks on Format and presentation, where a fully blocked business letter format

is used (up to 6 marks could be deducted for format errors), as well as the

Language, style and register where we consider that the appropriate persuasive

language, style and register required has been used.

These are critical components you need to master. When revising for the

examinations please revisit them and crosscheck with the examples from the study

guide. These include:

Format and presentation: Fully blocked business letter format is used (up to 6 marks could be deducted for format errors).

Language, style and register: Appropriate persuasive language, style and

register required.

Best wishes

Mrs. J. S. Pasi

Ms. A. Smith