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MIAMI H I I R I I I M P VOLUME 74, NUMBER 29

in this issue

WWW.HURRICANE.MIAMI.EDU FRIDAY. JANUARY 31 , 1997

LADY CANES FALL SHORT • The University of Miami's women basketball team fell one point short of defeating 19th-ranked Notre Dame at the Knight Sports Complex.

SPORTS, page 5

THE TRILOGY RETURNS • Turn to our special two-page spread covering the biggest (iim event of this cen­tury. Also read a review of this newly-re-released epic.

STAR WARS, pages 8 & 9

CLINTON'S LAST STAND • Will Clinton have a tradi­tionally lax second term, or wil l he take a stand to make a difference?

OPINION, page 12

news briefs CUBAN COLLECTION DONATED TO RICHTER

The Otto C. Richter Library at the University of Miami has received a donation of impor­tant documents and other materials from the Directorio Revolucionario Estudiantil by Alberto Muller and Luis Fernandez-Rocha. The library wi l l hold a reception on Wednesday, Feb. 5, from 6:30 to 8 p.m. on the 8th floor of the library.

GRADUATE STUDENTS TO RECEIVE AWARDS

Graduate students will be awarded the 1997 Graduate School Dean's Award for Excellence in Research and Creativity and their faculty mentors wil l be announced at the Spring Graduate Faculty meeting on Wednesday from noon to 2 p.m. Lunch will be provided. The graduate student award wil l consist of a certifi­cate and a check for $1000. Graduate students with shared awards wil l receive a check for $500 each.

today's weather PARTLY CLOUDY

Expect partly cloudy skies through most of the day. Daytime highs will hover in the mid 70s, with the wind blow­ing out of the north at 10 m p h .

- Matioiitil MteatMa Vri i, •

a look back TUITION INCREASE

This week 11 years ago, the University raised tuition 9.9 percent. The increase sparked I grassroots protest by students on the Rock.

hosts first JazzFest • Festival at Gusman features student acts By SHAWN MCRAE Hurricane Staff Writer

The sounds of Dizzie Gillespie, Thelonius Monk and Cole Porter are brought together by high school and college students in the First Annual University of Miami JazzFest. The event was held Monday through Thursday.

Prior to the onstage performances, several groups, including the Al Hood and Grads Ensemble, Bop Brothers, Sax Quartet, and the JV Small Group, performed in the lobby.

The Fest began with the Grammy in the Schools All Star Jazz Choir. This select group of high school stu­dents were also chosen to play at the Grammy banquet.

Following their performance was the award-winning Jazz Vocal Ensemble I. In addition to touring in Japan and Italy, they have also won ten awards from DownBeat Magazine.

Both groups were under the direc­tion of Larry Lapin, head of the Jazz Vocal Department.

Tuesday's performances began with a piano and guitar duet by Vince Maggio and Randall Dollahon.

"We had played together many times in Foster [Music Hall, also on campus] but this was the first time in here," said Dollahon.

Wrapping up the evening was the Ron Miller Ensemble.

Wednesday's "Writer's and Arranger's Night" featured original pieces composed and performed by faculty and students.

For the finale, the Grammy in the Schools Band performed once more. UM's Concert Jazz Band brought the Fest to a close under the direc­tion of Whit Sidener.

HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor JAZZING IT UP: Freshmen Chandler Webber (foreground), Trevor Reuben, Mike lohnson and sophomore Aaron Sherwood, members of the Sax Quartet, play during Wednesday evening's performance.

Rachel Lebon, who has been involved with the jazz program for over four years, was very pleased with the JazzFest.

"I thought it would be good for the general community to bring music to the schools," l ebon said after Tuesday night's performances.

In previous years, jazz students held most events in Foster Music Hall, which is relatively smaller in relation to Gusman.

Lebon said she was pleased with the performances

"There were a little less then two hundred people here tonight. Which is great considering we didn't go into the red," said Lebon.

"Many organizations have already begun to ask how they can get involved with future JazzFests, which is also great."

Although this year's Fest included faculty and students, they hope to branch out next year.

Director Professor Larry Lapin, who started the JVI in 1980, added, "This year it was small, inside facul­ty

Next year we're going to expand a little, a little more, with underwrit­ing."

HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor KEEPING TIME: Aaron Sherwood plays his baritone sax Wednesday.

Council elects Schiller • IFC President has already set goals for term By KELLY RUANE News Editor

University of Miami junior Neil Schiller, a member of Sigma Chi fraternity, was elected to a one-year term as president of the Interfraternity Council (IFC) on Tuesday night.

Schiller, who had run in the past for t r e a s u r e r and presi­dent of IFC, said he was glad to be elected.

The IFC SCHILLER executive board for the next year will be made up of Chaz Slane, first vice president. Paul Amelchenko, second vice president, Mike VonderAhe, treasurer and Chris Candelora, secretary.

Schiller has already set goals for himself based on his plat­form.

"I ran on a platform of the 'three PV: power, public rela­tions and programming." Schiller said.

His main goal is to increase the power of the IFC by working with the administration.

"[I want to] represent 12 fraternities to the administra­tion," Schiller said.

Schiller said a goal IFC is working on is to dispel tlie negu-

See IFC • Page 4

Black Awareness Month begins today • Organizers cite lack of funds By EMILY FRIEDMAN Hurricane Staff Writer

Black Awareness Month at the University of Miami begins today with many events throughout the month to honor and celebrate the contributions of black Americans.

Steve Clark, director of Multicultural Student Affairs, said, "The purpose of Black Awareness Month |BAM] is to provide educa­tional opportunities to the entire UM community."

This year has a campuswide cal­endar of events.

"The events will give the UM community a chance to understand, experience and celebrate black Americans." Clark said.

Clark said this is the first year BAM will have a centralized, cam­puswide calendar.

Lisa Lee, BAM chairperson, said the other aim for BAM is to give black students on campus something to relate to.

Lee said she hopes students will come away with the sense that peo­ple have struggled and stood up for blacks in America.

"I hope that all students leam about black history and who our national heroes are." Lee said.

Cornell West, professor of Afncan-American history and reli­gion at Harvard University, is the featured speaker for BAM.

West will spend an evening dis­cussing the topic, "Race Matters...Or Does It?" on Wednesday, Feb. 19.

This year, BAM was allocated $7,000. Lee said. She said this was­n't enough money for all the activi­ties they originally planned.

"We were not able to get the spe­cial lighting we wanted for the fash­

ion show because the lack of money limits what we are able to do," Lee said.

Lee also said the money allocated to BAM is less and less each year.

"We have to cut down on advertis­ing and events due to the budget," Lee said.

Marc Jacobsen. assistant director of Studeni Life for student organiza­tions, said, "In reality, BAM received $11, 480.25, which is $160 more than last year."

According to Student Activity Fee Allocation Committee (SAFAC) budget allocation reports, BAM received $7,022, plus $1,458 in

advertising and $4,000 for the Black Comedy Jam.

"Last year. BAM was allocated $358.25 in advertising. That budget was increased by one hundred dol­lars for this year," Jacobsen said.

Jacobsen said SAFAC is cautious about giving large amounts of money to BAM because organizers have overspent their budget by $9,300 since the 1994-95 school year.

"However," Jacobsen said, "we ISAFAC] are working closely with United Black Students to ensure a

See BAM • Page 4

School of Music students faced with more math • Faculty Senate votes to add more math requirements By SABINA SABHARWAL Hurricane Staff Writer

The University of Miami Faculty Senate convened for the first time Monday after­noon and voted unanimously to change the general mathematics requirement for stu­dents enrolled at the UM School of Music.

There are three types of degrees current­ly offered for music majors at UM: the bachelor of arts in music, a degree in music consisting of slightly greater than 50 per­cent music courses and the other 50 percent for general study.

The third degree available to music majors is a degree consisting of two-thirds music courses and one-third general study courses.

The proposed suggestion to change the mathematics requirement is directed at the last degree, for musical performance majors.

Chris Cosner, a professor at the School of Education, introduced and described the resolution at Monday's Faculty Senate meeting.

The current degree requirement for stu­dents in the Schcxil of Music consists of students taking Math 101 in addition to six credits in the naturul sciences.

Cosner's proposal does nol alter this requirement, but simply gives the students concerned an additional option

Rather than taking six credits in natural

•V'

sciences along with Math IOI, the students will have the choice of taking another three-credit math class after Math 101 and then three credits of natural sciences.

"Mathematics," Cosner said, "is the lan­guage of science."

Cosner said he feels that taking another math class in addition to Math IOI, will aid students in -------—•——^—a-» obtaining a bet­ter understand­ing of the natur­al sciences.

Math IOI, Cosner said, is a basic algebra skills class, which will enhance a stu­dent's math skills.

Cosner said it is also important for stu­dents to take a math "thinking" course such as Math 103, which teaches students about the philosophy behind the discipline of mathematics itself.

William Hipp, dean of the School of Music, said the reason for the weaker mathematics requirement for the School of Music lies in the already rigorous require­ments in order to ascertain a degree in music, leaving little room for electives.

This five-year exemption for the School nl Music expired in 1995 and requirements now are being re-examined for revision.

"The School of Music does approve of the* suggestion tor students aiming for a two-third music content professional degree," Hipp said.

"Mathematics is the

language of science." CHRIS COSNER

School of Education

Kitty Bob Collins, University alumna, supporter, dies • Former cheerleader and employee loved the University By KELLY RUANE News Editor

Kitty Bob Collins, 73, a former University of Miami cheerleader and nine-year employee of the admissions department, died Jan. 22 after a bout with pneumonia.

Collins was a cheerleader at UM in the 1940s. It was her idea to use the red-and-black hurricane warning flags at football games. After graduating from UM, she coached the cheerleading squad until she left to begin rais­ing her family.

Collins was also a founding member of the First United Methodist Church in Coral Gables

In 1987, she relumed to UM to work at the admissions department, where she worked until her death last week.

Kathy Adrian, senior staff associate at the Admissions office, said Collins had major surgery before the Christmas break. She returned to work for a few days until she became ill.

Adrian said everyone who knew Collins loved her.

"We contacted people that had left Ihis ottice who remember Kitty Bob who were very touched by her," Adrian said. "She was witty and with a great sense of humor."

At Collins' funeral service, the Athletic Department loaned the red-and-black hurri­

cane flags to be placed on the altar. "That's how important UM was to her,"

Adrian said. University flags flew at half-staff Sunday in

her honor. Adrian said Collins was "one of a kind." "That's probably a cliche but she really was

well-loved by everyone," Adrian said. "If you met Kitty Bob, you would remember. She was just a blessing to us."

Adrian said Collins was the "poet laureate" of the Admissions office.

"She was like our in-house poet laureate," Adnan said. "If someone had a baby or some­thing else, she would wnte them something."

After Collins' death, Adrian found several rough drafts of poems in Collins' desk.

"I found some of her rough drafts that were wntten out," Adrian said. "She would give the person poems."

Adrian said Collins' family wants to plant a tree on campus to honor her.

"She really lived for the University," Adrian said. "She was Ms. UM."

Students loved Collins as well, Adrian said. "Several students that worked in this office

turned to her for advice and she was very witty," Adrian said. "She wasn't your typical grandmotherly type."

Adrian said Collins' death has affected all who knew her.

'The bottom line is she loved UM and all the people she met," Adrian said. 'To say it affected us is an understatement."

In lieu of flowers, donations should be made to the UM/Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center at the Jackson Memorial/University of Miami Hospital and clinics.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31,1997

rampus ca.endar I

. "STUDENT GOVERNMENT: (The sflffSA*.'HU University *aOWe>!s'wTn'Be"^ri^,Sruclent

Government President Steve Roche on Wednesday at 4 p.m. The address will also be broad­casted on UM vision. •GEOGRAPHY DEPARTMENT: A talk presented by Lawrence S. Grossman of the department of Geography entitled, 'Globalization of the Banana Industry and Village Life in the Eastern Caribbean," will take place Friday in the Merrick Building room 307 at 3 p.m. •PRESIDENT'S 100: The University is looking for stu­dents to represent UM by giving tours of the campus, assisting President Foote with special functions at his residence and much more by being a President's 100. Interested stu­dents can pick up an application beginning Monday. They wil l be due at the Office of Admission by Friday, Feb. 28 at 5 p.m. Interviews will be March 3-7. • RICHTER LIBRARY: HTML classes will be offered to any interested students at the Ungar building in room 311. To sign up for classes, visit the reference desk at the Richter Library. The class dates are as follows: Friday, Feb. 7 at 1:30-3p.m.; Friday, Feb. 21 at 1:30-3p.m.; Friday, Feb. 28 at 9:30-11 a.m., Monday, March 10 at 1:30-3p.m ;Monday, March 17 at

LJ 3:30-5p.m. • MULTICULTURAL STUDENT AFFAIRS: The Multicultural Student Affairs wi l l have an Open House on Monday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at 5604 Merrick Drive, Building 21-P. The event wil l enable students, faculty and staff to tour the new facilities of the Department of Multicultural Student Affairs. William Butler, Vice President for Student Affairs, wil l make brief remarks at 3 p.m. sharp. Refreshments wil l be served throughout the day.

•ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT: The University Athletic Department will be hosting a Blood Drive on Monday. The Red Cross Blood Mobile wil l be parked outside the Hecht Athletic Center between 12 noon and 5 p.m. They are asking all of those that are able to donate blood to con­tribute to the worthy cause. • LINK: Link will be holding its first general meeting of the semester on Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. in UC 241. New members are invited to attend. For more information, call Erin at 689-6691 or 284-GIVE.

16 post your events in our compus talendor, stop by our

offke in University Center, Rm. 221. Abo visit The Hutrkane Online for

oddittonol postings

student government update LJ SG Senate passes bill for veto explanation • New elections chair ratified By M. DENISE GOLDEN Hurricane Staff Writer

The University of Miami Student Government Senate met Wednesday and passed a bill to require Vice President for Student Affairs William R. Butler to explain to the Senate why he vetoes each bill.

The bill, authored by Jonathan Brill, speaker of the Senate and sponsored by the Council of Chairs, also requires that all modi­fications of any legislation be expressly stated and that all responses and explanations to the legislation be referred to the speaker of the Senate within 30 days.

Sophomore Senator Jim Fatzinger said he agrees that Butler should include reasons when he sends the Senate vetoes.

"I think the bill is a great idea," Fatzinger said.

"With senators working hard to represent their constituencies, explanations help us reach a suc­

cessful compromise between the administration and student con­cerns."

The second bill debated con­cerned the vacancies in the junior and senior senate seats. This bill, authored by Michelle Propos, elec­tions commission vice chairper­son, asked that junior and senior seats become vacant after the spring 1997 elections until they are filled via normal election in fall 1997.

As originally planned, these seats were to remain empty to ensure that all four classes are elected at the same time.

The bill passed in amended form, 18-D.

Junior and senior seats will remain filled, meaning that there will be extended terms for holders of these offices until tlie fall 1997 elections.

The last action brought to the table concerned ratifying a new chairperson for the elections com­mission.

The author of the bill was Andrew Paul, elections commis­sion chairman.

Propos was voted the new elec­tions chair.

national & world news LJ SCHWARZKOPF: NO EVIDENCE OF EXPOSURE TO CHEMICALS DURING GULF WAR

Retired General Norman Schwarzkopf said on Wednesday that then, is no evidence of U.S. troops being exposed to chemical weapons during the Gulf War.

Schwarzkopf, who led the coali­tion forces during the conflict, tes­tified Wednesday before a Senate subcommittee investigating the rash of mysterious ailments among Gulf War veterans, saying that there was no evidence of exposure to chemical weapons "before, dur­ing or after hostilities."

"I feel sure tliat had such events knowingly occurred, I would have received reports," Schwarzkopf said.

He also added that survey teams investigated suspected incidents.

"In every case, survey teams entered the area with the most sophisticated detection devices available and in every case I am aware of...No one showed any symptom of chemical exposure."

ac"iwarzkopf also strongly oenied media accusations that U.S. commanders, hiding in protective bunkers, exposed their troops to chemical dangers, and then cov­ered it up.

Schwarzkopf said tne reports show the media's "abysmal igno­rance" of conduct standards mili­tary leaders are expected to follow and called the reports a "blatant lie" that "undermines the confi­dence ofthe mothers and fathers of America who place the well-being of their sons and daughters in our hands."

FUJIMORI, HASHIMOTO MEET SATURDAY TO DISCUSS PERUVIAN HOSTAGE CRISIS

Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori and Japanese Prime

t I

Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto will meet Saturday in Toronto to dis­cuss possible solutions to the six-week-old Lima hostage crisis.

Canada was chosen as a neutral site for the summit because a panel aimed at peacefully resolving the situation is headed by Canada's ambassador to Peru. Members of the Tupac Amaru rebel movement and the Peruvian government have accepted the panel's role in resolv­ing the situation.

Hashimoto has warned Fujimori to be careful about the stepped-up pressure security foces have applied to the rebels recently.

Since tlie rebels stormed a mid-December holiday party at the estate, the rebels and Fujimori have been locked in a stalemate in negotiations, primarily over the rebels' demand that 400 fellow rebels be released from Peruvian prisons; Fujimori has refused to comply. The Tupac Amaru rebels still hold 72 hostages.

HEAD OF JOINT CHIEFS TO RETIRE

General John Shalikashvili, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, has announced his retire­ment, effective this September.

Shalikashvili will be completing his second two-year term as the nation's top military officer and 37 years of overall military service. It tradition for the chairman of the Joint Chiefs to resign after his sec­ond two-year term.

President Bill Clinton has not indicated who the successor to Shalikashvili will be, but accord­ing to White House Spokesman Michael McCunry, Clinton will be looking for "the strongest candi­date who will continue the excel­lent service that we have enjoyed in those posts."

—Compiled by Shane Weaver Copy Editor

Arab-Israeli crisis hits home • Students differ on the impact of the Hebron Agreement By JENNIFER-IOY MCCARTHY Hurricane Staff Writer

Even though the University of Miami is far from all the problems in the Middle East, for Israeli and Arab students, the crisis is hitting close to home.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian Authority President Yasir Arafat concur on the promises in the Hebron agreement.

Previously, the agreement was signed in September of 1995 but was postponed due to the excessive violence between the Palestinians and the Israelis.

The current Hebron agreement recognizes certain key difficulties between Israel and Palestine, as well as what both leaders plan to do as solutions.

For example, the Palestinians promise to confiscate all illegal weapons, extradite murder suspects

to Israel, remove police in Israel and limit the number of police in their force.

Israel has also made a few promis­es, such as withdrawing its troops from most of Hebron as well as much of the West Bank. Israel also agreed to allow a safe passage road between the Gaza Strip and the West Bank.

Students at UM differ on their view of the impact of the Hebron Agreement on the Middle East.

Sophomore Eido Cohen is a native-bom Israeli citizen. Cohen said he thinks the Hebron agreement is not a guarantee of peace, and in fact may just be postponing the vio­lence for a temporary period of time.

Rattier than focusing on the pre­sent situation between Israel and Palestine, Eido said. "Palestinians should have been given the rights of Israeli citizens in the beginning."

Some students are more focused on the idea of justice.

Junior Fatima Alrashidi, a native-bom Kuwaiti, said she does not believe the agreement will work "right now because they need more than that — they need more justice."

Folding her hands and closing her eyes for a moment. Fatima said, "I believe that this is not the time to

talk about it. The main topic is to give peace [and] to live together — without guns."

Khalid, a graduate student who wants to keep his last name anony­mous, was also bom in the Middle East.

Khalid said recent agreements to end violence "have been going on for so long, (it might take] two or three generations (to work every­thing out] because things need time to cool off."

"Most of the people [who are presently in Palestine and Israel] experienced [the violence] them­selves," Khalid said. "It doesn't affect me, my family lives so far away.

[It is] Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt, and the borders of Israel that are concerned, not me."

Khalid said the problem in the Middle East is that both sides do not trust each other.

Freshman Avrill St. Prix said the Hebron Agreement will affect him, but he is not too worried.

"It will affect us but we shouldn't play the police of the world," St. Prix said.

Some students, such as freshman Alfmo Donastorg, do not keep up with events in the Middle East, but

Counseling center stresses eating disorder awareness • National week to focus on health By SARAH GUARNACCIA Assistant News Editor

Helping students create a better relationship with their food is the theme in mind during National Eating Disorder Awareness week, which begins on Monday.

With fliers in the Breezeway, pre­sentations scheduled at the George A. Smathers Student Wellness Center and the introduction of a support group, doctors at the Counseling Center, staff of Student Life, the UM Women's Resource Center and department faculty are joining together to help students fight their battles with eating disor­ders.

"The University of Miami has an outstanding collective program. They understand the affects of reaching out to the students," said Pam Deroian, a psychologist at the Counseling Center.

Deroian said the Counseling Center is working with different departments at UM to help students who may be suffering from an eat­ing disorder.

"We're aware of the pervasive­ness of this problem. Many depart­ments have an interest in helping students to develop a healthier atti­tude with food," Deroian said.

The awareness week is not nec­essarily to make students conscious of the disease, but nowadays it exists to provide them with a better understanding of how to overcome it

"I think by now, with media and society influence, people are pretty

aware of eating disorders," Deroian said.

According to Deroian, the per­centages of those with eating disor­ders are not decreasing, but rather they are changing.

"The incidents of anorexia and bulimia are decreasing. We're see­ing the emergence of other kinds of problems," she said.

Deroian is seeing students strug­gle with new forms of eating disor­ders such as binge eating, a night­time binge disorder where a person will wake up in the morning sick and won't eat until late at night.

There is also another eating dis­order which is not about food, but which is made up of people who over-exercise.

"Maybe they are not anorexic or bulimic. Maybe they eat small amounts and exercise for 4 hours a day. It's real serious. These aren't people who throw up or are anorex­ic," Deroian said.

She is aware that while coming to college, students bnng eating disorders with them that may have developed before or during adoles­cents.

"There is probably problems related to family and self-esteem," Deroian said.

But she also feels that there exists a group of students that develop eating disorders while they are in college.

"For the people at college, it could be an experimental phase they are going through. Lots of experiences change people. They succumb to peer pressure and tlie media and develop eating disorders out of a result of that," Deroian said.

Often times, an eating disorder is a variable of stress.

Deroian said that a student may

come into the Counseling Center saying they are depressed, but then it is eventually discovered that the student is also suffering from an eating disorder.

"Eating disorders go hand and hand with other problems," she said. "It's a hard issue to face. The onset is quite insidious. They don't really notice it themselves."

The Counseling Center reinstat­ed a support group after last semes­ter to give students a chance to put a positive spin on their relationship with food throughout the semester.

"It is a group for people who want to develop a healthier rela­tionship with food. It is for any UM student who is having issues relat­ing to eating," Deroian said.

According to Deroian, these dis­orders are easier to treat than they used to be.

She said that it was thought that it took seven years to cure an indi­vidual with an eating disorder.

"If they come in here and get treated, they will definitely see progress. It's treatable and we can work with it.

On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, the Counseling Center will have a table set up in the Breezeway for those who would like more information on eating disorders.

The Wellness Center will be putting on a presentation Wednesday at 7:30. The presenta­tion is entitled, "Achieving a Healthy Lifestyle: Healthy Eating and How it Can Go Wrong."

The Counseling Center will hold meetings for anyone who is suffer­ing from an eating disorder or is close to someone who is, starting Feb. 12 and continuing every Wednesday from 5 to 6:30 p.m.

Black Awareness Month activities dependent on SAFAC allocations

From BAM • Page 1

great month." Jacobsen said things are going

great now. "There is always a chance to get

more money each year," Jacobsen said.

"That does not mean it is a guar­antee."

Jacobsen said a different SAFAC

committee oversees the budgets each year.

"They are different people with different values each year," Jacobsen said.

Clark said different sponsors have donated time and money to BAM.

Sponsors are United Black Students, the Athletic Department, the Black Filmmakers Association, campus chaplains, Caribbean,

African and Afro-American studies, the Council on International Students and Organizations, Diversity Task Force, Division of Student Affairs, Hurricane Productions, Interclub Council, School of Law, International Student Services, Multicultural Programming Committee, Multicultural Student Affairs, Student Life, and the Woodson-Wtlliams-Marshall Association.

SCEC aims to help children in need • Group members help 'exceptional kids' By IRIS E. GUZMAN Hurricane Staff Writer

The University of Miami Student Council for Exceptional Children (SCEC) offers students a chance to help children with special needs..

The group, which held its first meeting at 8 p.m. Tuesday at the UC lounge, sponsors a host of pro­jects aimed at helping children in need of services not readily avail­able to them.

"We provide services for children that might not be met by their schools," said SCEC president Elizabeth Traeger.

"Being with the kids and helping them out is a wonderful experi­ence."

Working closely with Dade County Public Schools, SCEC is currently sponsoring a "Read Aloud" program.

Volunteers read stories to chil­dren and then donate the book they read to the school.

Another project allows UM stu­dents to communicate with inner city children.

Through this Pen Pal program students write letters to children at Liberty City Elementary and visa versa.

"Both the Read Aloud and Pen Pal program let people get hands on experience working with kids," said Traeger.

"It is a particularly wonderful opportunity for those that want to go into teaching."

Volunteers are especially needed for SCEC latest venture with the Juvenile Justice Department.

Children convicted of minor felonies or who are at risk of com­mitting a crime are currently given special attention twice a week at the Juvenile Justice Department in Miami.

SCEC hopes to bring those chil­dren to campus so that UM students can tutor them.

SCEC, which started over five years ago, is the student branch of Council for Exceptional Students (CEC), a nationwide organization. SCEC has around 35 members, mostly in the School of Education.

All UM students are welcome to participate in any SCEC activity. Membership is not required.

With the exception of the Juvenile Justice Program, no regu­lar commitment is necessary.

are concerned about possible United States involvement.

"I don't have a TV in my room, I study at night, talk on the phone or I am out with friends," Donastorg said. "It [does, however] concern me; anything the U.S. does concerns every U.S. citizen."

Many students believe in the Hebron Agreement, such as senior Marco Paredes, president of the Latin American Student Organization.

"The redeployment of Israeli troops from the West Bank city of Hebron shows that Prime Minister Netanyahu is committed to ensuring that the peace process continues and succeeds," Paredes said

Paredes said the success of the agreement depends on the reactions from citizens on both sides.

"Whether this or any other agree­ment is successful depends on the reaction of the Israelis and Palestinians to further acts of vio­lence," J'aredes said.

Paredes also said an important part of the peace process will be the fate of Jerusalem.

"Arafat has said that the peace process will not be complete until Jerusalem is the capital of the Palestine state," Paredes said.

Former student recovers • Lisa Walker suffered stroke last January By CHRISTY CABRERA Hurricane Staff Writer

Jan. 30,1996 began like any other normal day for Lisa Walker, a for­mer UM graduate student. But what happened to Walker that day was out of the ordinary.

After finishing classes for the day, Walker went to the George A. Smathers Student Wellness Center, where she planned to exercise, as she did every day.

Walker, who had celebrated her 25th birthday the day before, was running on one of the treadmills when she began to suffer from a headache. She finished her run and went back to the locker room, where she fainted and was later dis­covered by a Wellness Center employee.

After the employee called 911, Walker was rushed to Doctor's Hospital, where Walker was pro­nounced dead on arrival. She suf­fered from Arteriovenous Malformation, causing her to have a stroke.

Attending physician at It teels D o c t o r ' s b e t t e r t o

H o s p i t a l was Azik r e a d a g a i n . Wolf, whom LISA W a l k e r . . . . . __,__,__, c r e d i t s WALKER, today with Former saving her . . life. After UNI the stroke, graduate W a l k e r ° . remained in Student a coma.

When she came out of the coma, she and her family were able to see just how much damage the stroke had caused.

Walker had no movement on the left side of her body. She could not walk.

Walker also lost her short-term memory and found that tasks which were once second nature became almost foreign.

"I couldn't even add or subtract," she said.

In the year after the stroke, Walker has recovered considerably.

Part of her recovery included a surgical procedure with gamma rays to correct the problem in her arterial vein.

In the past year. Walker has regained her short-term memory.

"It feels better to read again," she said.

Walker is also recovering some physical movement, and though still in her wheelchair, she has begun "to move around now."

Walker's stroke was not caused by excessive exercise.

Walker said she usually ran about a mile a day before her stroke.

"It was a freak accident," she said.

Her stroke could not have been prevented, doctors told her.

She suffered no prior headaches and had no warning of what would happen. Her malformed arterial vein was caused by a birth defect.

Walker said during her recovery, her classmates and advisor, Michael Gaines of the biology department, stood by her at all times. Walker said she is grateful for their support.

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sel Ms AON Service and enjoy: • SAVINGS up to I S"«> on domestic and 5% on interna­tional] calls when dialing Irom campus evenings, nij lits and weekends. • NO SIGN UP FEES

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Confucius says: Those who attend the 1997 Spring

Career Fair, get job "post haste."

It's not just a job.. It's a

1997 Spring Career Fair Thursday February 6, 1997

at the George A. Smathers Wellness Center. 10 a.m - 3 p.m

For more information please call 284 - 5451. 137 Companies are coming. Are You?

ADP The Aerospace Corporation

Aerotek, Inc. A.I.B. Financial Group

Allstate Insurance Company American Bankers Insurance Group

American & Intl. Financial Group American Express

American Express, TRS American Providers, Inc.

Andersen Consulting Arthur Andersen, LLP

AT&T AT&T Wireless Servicea

AT&T Resource Link Banana Republic

BankAtlantic Barnett Bank

Becker CPA/CMA Review BellSouth Mobility

Blue Cross and Blue Shield of FL Brand Institute

Brauer & Associates, Inc. Burdines

Burger King Corporation CAP Gemini

CarMax, A Circuit City Company Central Intelligence Agency

Central Parking System Cerner Corporation

Cincinnati Bell Information Sys. Cintas Corporation Cisco Systems, Inc.

Citibank Computer Associates International

Comtec Systems, Inc. Cordis, a Johnson & Johnson co.

Coulter Corporation David Plummer & Associates, Inc.

Decision Consultants, Inc. Defense Intelligence Agency

Deloitte & Touche DSC Communications Eckerd Drug Company

Eckerd Family Youth Alternatives Enterprise Rent-A-Car

1 J_

Ernst & Young Excel Telecommunications, I.R.'s

Express FBI

FDP Corp. Federal Energy Regulatory Comm.

Ferguson Enterprises, Inc. First Marketing Company

First Union Corp. Florida Power & Light

GE Goodyear

Great-West Employee Benefits Hamilton Risk Management, Inc.

Harris Corporation Hayhurst & Associates

IBM Innovex Group, Inc.

International Data Consultants, Inc. Janssen Pharmaceutlca

J.Crew JP Morgan

KnowIedgeSource KPMG Peat Marwick, LLP Kurt Salmon Associates

Lanier Worldwide Lord & Taylor

Lucent Technologies MCI

Marshalls, Inc. Mass Mutual/DBS Financial Grp.

Mayor's Jewelers Metro Dade Park & Recreation Dept.

The Miami Herald Publishing Co. Micro Software Services, Inc.

Mobil Corporation Moore, U.S.A NationsBank

New York Life Financial Services Nine West Group, Inc.

Norrell Staffing Nortel CALA

Northern Trust Bank Northwestern Mutual Life

Norwest Financial Office Ours

OLDE Discount Stockbrokers PageNet

Panasonic Parbel of Florida

Peace Corps Pinnacle Financial Marketing Group

Pratt & Whitney Precision Response Corp.

Price Waterhouse The Princeton Review

Publix SuperMarkets, Inc. Racal-Datacom

Registry Resort & Spa Rinker Materials Corp. Rockwell International

Rollins Leasing Corporation Royal Caribbean Cruises, Ltd.

SBC Communications, Inc. Scott Security Systems Sears, Roebuck & Co.

The Sherwin-Williams Co. South Florida Newspaper Network South Florida Water Mgmt. District

Spec's Music The Sports Authority

State Farm Insurance Co. Sunglass Hut International

SunTrust Bank Target

Tech Data Corp. Teach for America

Templeton Worldwide Tlburon Entertainment, Inc.

Toys RUS UM Grad. Programs in Public Health UM, International Student Services

UM School of Law, Recruiting U.S. Air Force

U.S. Army U.S. Marine Corps Officer Programs

U.S. Navy U.S. Secret Service

Vento Software World Pass Communications Corp.

Xerox Corporation

a a

FACE a • THI: Hum l i imm: • miw, MNU«K n, i w

Schiller looking ahead

From IFC • Page 1

often portrays of fraternities. "We're trying to overhaul our

image as IFC and try to dispel all of the Animal House movie images that people see on TV," Schiller said. "We do a lot more than just drink and party and throw food around."

Schiller said television does not show greeks participating in pos­itive activities.

"We participate in philan­thropies every year." Schiller said. "In almost every organiza­tion on campus you'll find a fra­ternity man in a leadership posi­tion, which says a lot for tlie posi­tion of the fraternities here."

Another goal of the IFC is to unite fraternities and alleviate some of the competition between each one.

"Programming is just having fun, exciting and innovative pro­grams for members of all fraterni­ties to enjoy," Schiller said. "Everyone has a friend in other fraternities and they usually don't get to use those fraternities as much."

Schiller said competition is "human nature," but he hopes to unite fraternities into one cooper­ative council.

Schiller said last semester's arrest of two Sigma Chi brothers on rape charges did not make him think twice about running for office.

"I'm running to serve the IFC, not to serve anyone else," Schiller said. "I am a Sigma Chi and I don't think it should matter."

Schiller said he is looking for­ward to a successful term.

"I'm just looking forward to a fantastic term," Schiller said.

Are you a PHOTOGRAPHER

who has experience shooting, printing, processing, etc?

POSSIBLY... interested in earning

some extra cash?

interested in working for an award winning news­

paper?

interested in interacting with other photogra­

phers who are dedicated to their jobs.

Then contact Hunter Carey at 284-2016, or stop by UC room 22IB to

pick up an application

The Classified Section is the fastest way to reach 10,000 people on this campus.

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Achieving a Healthy Lifestyle

"Healthy Eating and How It Can All Go Wrong"

Wednesday, February 5 7:30 pm

Wellness Center Classrooms

.< tw* * * +.&

am Get the UM Advantage I * / Comprehensive review V Expert Instructors l l / Test-taking strategies 'V Competitively priced V Practice tests V Small classes

Call 2 8 4 - 2 7 2 7 for a brochure

Courses also available for

SAT UNIVERSITY OF

CONTINUING STUDIES

Hotc s youi chance to help a gioup these now ki'ds out by showing thorn of new freshmen business students the topes It's valuable time and advice adjust to then new life at UM By that we ie will ing to pay you for So simply hanging with them and stop by MB-104 and pick up an applica-advising them, you II be helping tion today

SCHOOL OF BUSINESS PEER COUNSELING PROGRAM Applications are available in MB-104 and aie due by Feb 14. Call x2998 fot more info

:::

Make a difference!! Student Government

Spring of 1997 Elections: Application packets available

January 30th in UC 209. Last day to apply February 7th.

Positions: President Vice-President Treasurer All College and School Senate Seats.

Still have questions?? Attend an information session with

present executive officers and senators.

Monday February 3rd at 8:00 p.m in UC 211.

Referenda Writing Workshop Monday February 3rd at 9:00 pm

inUC211. Workshop is mandatory for anybody

interested in writing referendum

ANSWER TO TRIVIA

The three NBA teams with names that do not end in an "S" were the Utah Jazz, Miami Heat and Orlando Magic

Timimii HI HUH'iu:[ji FRIDAY, JANUARY 31,1997 E J

Fighting Irish edge out Lady Canes • Time runs out on Miami in 72-71 defeat By JONATHAN SANTUCCI

Hur r icane Sports Writer In basketball, as it is with most

sports, a team usually plavs either wel l enough to win or bad enough to lose. Then, there are those rare cir­cumstances when time just runs out

This was the case in the Miami Hurricanes' women's basketball game Wednesday night at the Knight Sports Complex.

"We don't really look at this as a loss, we look at it as a positive expe­rience. We don'l look at it as win­ning or losing, we just look at it as running out of time." This is how head coach Feme Labati described the Canes 72-71 loss to I9th-ranked Notre Dame.

In the first 13 minutes ofthe open­ing hal l , the Fighting Irish jumped out to a 30-11 lead It seemed cer­tain that the Canes would be blown out. Then, little by little, the Canes snuck back inlo the game. A Kym Hope basket, a Shannon Drury three-point shot and a Carly Coll inson layup pulled Miami with­in three points; at halftime Notre Dame led 35-30.

In the second half, the Fighting Irish tried to give the Hurricanes the knockout punch and run away with a victory. Miami would have no part of it."We never lost our composure." Labati said. "We played with confi­dence and we played as a team."

Notre Dame would get a lead and Miami would hit a big shot to stay

close. With ihree minutes left in the game, Notre Dame was up 66-62. Desnia Thomas hit a three-point shot to pull the Canes within one.

On Notre Dame's next possession. Kym Hope stole the ball and Octavia Blue scored on a lay-up to give Miami their first lead of the game. With just 16 seconds left. Blue h i t another shot to give the Canes a 71 -70 lead.

After Miami fouled twice and with the clock down to 5.2 seconds. Octavia Blue fouled Al l-American candidate Kalryna Gaither as she went up for a shot. " I was just think­ing: 'Oh man1' I was just praying that she wouldn't make those free throws," said Blue.

Gaither. however, sunk both shots then stole the ball on an inbound pass to win the game for Notre Dame."It was a real moral victory for the kids. They really played their hearts out for the team." said Labati.

The Hurricanes were led by Desnia Thomas who had 20 points, five assists, five steals and hit four three-point shots. Kym Hope und Octavia Blue also scored in double figures, with 15 and 12 respectively. Gina Gra/iani dished out 11 assists and MeChelle Murray had 10 points and four rebounds off the bench.

Al l -Amer ican candidate Beth Morgan of Notre Dame led her team with 21 points In the game. Morgan became the first Notre Dame woman ever to score 2.000 points i n a career Rosanne Bohman had 16 points and nine boards, wh i le Gaither finished with 16 points.

The Hurricanes' next game is at home against Villanova on Feb. 2.

• See PAGE 6 fot mote basketball (overage

Metre Dam

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Aaaiats -Soir,- Dame 2, Printk 8 Bohrruin 5 AuRustin 5. Gather 4 \V slillen 2. Morgdn 11, Miami 2J sGra/iani I I , Thomas 5, Bdrnh,irt 3, rtape Slurrdv [>ur*>

Blocks -S,otre Dame 2 ICanhtr. Henderson Mldmi 4 S'urr.ts J Hope ( ollinson Steak -Notre D.ime 10 Gaithii I Peiruk .' Mi rnillen 2 Bohm.in Moru.in -Vuisuslin

Miami ll fnomaa > Hope 1, Blue Ian .toll G u / u n i Three-poinlrra -Sutrr Dame - \\, Millen 1

Moqten 1 Pi slums 2 I . ' Attendance*:

Munn 8 iThoni.is 4

i Drurv i

HUNTER CAREY / Photo Editor

AIRBORNE: Octavia Blue (10) charges past a Notre Dame defender as

she attempts to make a layup. Blue scored 1 2 (joints in the losing effort.

m • Villono Miami

M, > | V •Stinoo W •12:00

VaaWk. • • * • Krou*"

> Villanova WildcoH vs. Miami Hurricanes

• Sunday, Feb. 2 •12:00 pm 1 Knight Sports Complex

• 90 5, WVUM (Jape Delay)

Olympic dream comes true • With medal in hand, Davian Clarke returns to lead Miami's Track team By MICHELLE YEE

Sports Editor Af ter an exciting 1996 season.

Davian Clarke is just taking it one day at a time.

The University of Miami's pre­miere track and field sprinter, Clarke lakes his accomplishments in stride. Clarke, a junior, is the first male track and field athlete in U M history to w in an NCAA championship. He captured the 400-meter outdoor title at the Outdoor N C A A Championships in Eugene, Oregon, last year. Clarke was also named men's track Most Outstanding Athlete.

" I t was an honor to do it. I made history being the first," said Clarke. " I ' l l be in the books forever; immor­talized in the books."

Not only did the three-time A l l -American win the 400-meter out­door title, but Clarke was given the opportunity to compete in the 1996 At lanta Centennial Olympics Representing his native Jamaica. Clarke won a bronze medal in the 4x400 meter relay. He also compet­ed in the 400-meter race against Michael Johnson.

" I t can be a nerve-racking experi­ence because 80,000 people in the

s t a d i u m « — — — — — — itself giving

their full " / Wanted tO attention on

l . ^ — . — one event.

go home A,lhatpoim

and i l was ,he

4x4; all eves perform my were on me

best for i,nd .. my

Um73i IMJI team.

my family." At 20. 1 Clarke got a

chance to D A V I A N CLARKE fu l f i l l his

U M Spr in te r O l y m p i c dream when J a i l l a i c a

Photo courtesy ot SPORTS INFORMATION DEPARTMENT

CROSSING THE FINISH: Davian Clarke sprints to another victory in

the 400 meter race. Clarke won 11 of 1 3 400 meter races he entered.

invited him to run in their national trials

" I have always Been an admirer ol the Olympics and when 1 got the chance, I fell very honored." Clarke s.nd " I wanled lo go home and per­form my besl lor mv lamily."

" l t was something you prepare for all your life and you knew it was going to happen at some point. I just wasn't evpecting it to happen so early."

lo t ('larke. the Olympic games were an opportunity to gain experi­ence and learn Irom other alhleles, such as Michael Johnson

Clarke, originally from Spanish Town. Jamaica, moved to the United States in 1993 In high school. Clarke was the 1994 Florida State Champion and record holder in the 400-meters

Clarke's parents, along wi th his younger brother, live in the Ft. Lauderdale atea.

Clarke visits Ins family on lhe weekends and any chance he gels. Clarke is currently living with his older brother in an apartment close to UM.

In the tall ot 1994. Clarke decided to attend Miami on a lul l scholar ship. He is a business management major who also makes time For com­munity service. Clarke has visited orphanages and spoken at Alcoholics Anonv moils and (ianiblers Anonvmous meetings.

Clarke is also captain nl tlu* track and field team He is recovering Irom a hernia operation ho under­went in early October, but hopes to compete m the Hurricanes next competition al Lincoln, Nebraska. The Husker Invitational is Feb. 7 •Mil.

One of Clarke's future goals is. of

course, to compete in Sydney. Australia, the home o f the next Olympics.

"The Olympics is four years away from now; that is a long-term goal." said Clarke. "A t this moment in lime I 'm not really focused on the Olympics. I 'm just trying to get into shape and gel back to lorni so that I can perform my best.

" I ' m just thinking ahead one year at a time.'

DAVIAN CLARKE CAREER HIGHLIGHTS

• 1996 NCAA Outdoor Nat ional Champion • Three-t ime All -Amei i i an • I r o n i e medalist at llio 1996 O l y m p i i d i m e s • Silver medalist al the 1995 W o r l d Championships • Holds school records in the 2 0 0 - m e t e n (21.03) and 400 -meters (44.87)

• Member of relay teams that holds school te iords in the indoor i ( n i 751 and outdoor (3:07.15) 4\400-mett»r relay • Named m e n s t t .uk most Outs tanding Athlete

Canes prepare to face S. Alabama • Miami opens home stand with injuries, rookies By BRYAN D O L G I N

Hurr icane Sports Writer It's baseball season here in

South Florida. It is only January, but it means Ihe beginning of the baseball season for the Universilv of Miami.

Souih Alabama University vis­its Mark Light Stadium for a three game sel this weekend. The first pilch is at 7 p.m. tonight and Saturday; Sundav s game is a 1:30 mat i ­nee.

The sea­son started on the road for the

Hur r i canes earlier this m o n t h . They partic­ipated in the First Pitch C l a s s i c against the U n i v e r s i t y of Hawaii Miami won three out ot four.

South Alabama plays their first games of the season this week­end. Hurricanes head coach Jim Morris said this will be a good lest for his ballclub.

"They have a rich tradition in college baseball." said Morris, "how good they are is ihe fact that they called I M to play them When (South Alabama coach Sieve Kit lrel l) calls me to play in Miami only, then he must be pretty good."

The Jaguars of South Alabama won 42 games last year. However, they lost their best hit­ler. Shane Bntt. who hit .347 with I O H K a n d 6 3 K B I . and a top pitcher Pete Delia Ratta, a nine game-winner, to graduation after last season.

According to Morr is , the Hurncanes mav have the edge because of the aniounl of compe­tition they have already faced.

"Our advantage is the fact that we have played four games, our alumni game is like another game.'' said Morris

"That wi l l be our fi l th game in competit ion and that we .in­hume, and lhat is probablv the

SOUTH ALABAMA Mark Light Stadium

Fri. & Sal., 7:00 p.m.

Sun., 1:30 pm.

Radio: WVUM 90.5 FM

two advantages we have." Moms added.

Moms does nol underestimate the strength of the Jaguars.

"A lot of their team is back |from last year), in particular their pitching staff and I think it's going to be a great opening scries"

The Jaguar pitching stall fea­tures a 12-game winner from last season in Jason Norton. Also. Brey Curtis wi l l be back on the hill for South Alabama.

According to Morr is , the Jaguar pitching staff appears to be solid, but the Hurricanes staff is not where they would like it to be just yet.

The slated starters for this weekend wi l l be J.D. Arteaga tonight. Darin Spassoff on Saturday and Lazaro Gutierrez: wi l l start Sunday.

Arteaga. the ace of the staff, with 32 career victories at I ' M . said the Hawaii trip was a learn­ing experience wh ich helped them prepare for South Alabama.

"Some of the things we got to work on that we realized over there is our defense and our pi tching." said Arteaga. "Fortunately, we had a week and a half lo really concentrate on that."

Freshman A l l -Amer ican Robbie Morrison returns to the bullpen as the closer after start­ing a game in Hawaii.

The hitting is the least of all worries on the team right now. Pat Burrell leads the wav with a .700 batting average after three games. No, that is nol a typo. The Hurricanes produced ten or more runs in three o f the four games in Hawaii.

The negative aspects to start Ihe home season is thev wi l l be without the services of Iwo play­ers, one very familiar and the other a newcomer.

Sophomore first baseman Rick Saggese tore cartilage in his right knee during the first game of Ihe season. He had surgery and wi l l be out at least six weeks

"The Hawaii t r ip . I almost wish we hadn't gone when you lose a guv like Rick Saggese fot an extended penod o f time." said Moms . " I hale that for hun and I hate it tor us, too."

Freshman catcher Russ Jacobson sprained his left knee in Hawaii. He wil l miss this week­end's games and may be out Iwo to three weeks Jacobson's injury leaves Mike Lopez-Cao as the only active catcher on the rosier

THREE COMMIT TO UM FOOTBALL TEAM

The Hurricanes landed w i d e

receiver Reggie Wayne , an A l l -

American from Marrero, La.;

receiver Daryl (ones f r o m

Dallas, Texas; and defensive

l ineman Clint Hur t f r om

Connecticut.

With the c o m m i t m e n t s ,

Miami is one player short o f its

15 scholarship l imi t .

MIAMI INDUCTS SEVEN INTO HALL OF FAME

The University o f M iam i w i l l

induct seven members into the

Sports Hal l of Fame at the 29th

Annual Hal l of Fame Banquet

on Thursday, A p r i l 10. The

event w i l l be he ld at the

Crowne Plaza Ho te l in M i a m i .

The seven inductees are

Wayne Beckner 1962-65

(men's basketball). Bill Bennett

1954, 56-58 (track and field),

Jerome Brown 1983-86 (foot­

ball!, Matt G r i bb le 1980-84

(swimming and div ing), Robin

Harmony 1980-84 (women's

basketball), A l o n z o Highsmith

1983-86 (football) and Doug

Shields 1981-84 (baseball)

20 HURRICANE BASEBALL GAMES ON RADIO

There wi l l be 20 U M base­

ball games broadcast o n W I N Z

(940 AM), WFTL (1400 AMI

and WEAT (850 AM) this sea­

son. The " V o i c e o f the

Hurricanes'' Sonny Hirsch wi l l

handle the play-by-plav.

W I N Z w i l l broadcast all

NCAA Regional and College

World Series games that Miami

plays in. Every game w i l l be

broadcast on UM's W V U M

(90.5 FMi.

16 BASEBALL GAMES ON SPORTSCHANNEL FLORIDA

16 University of M iami base­

ball games are scheduled to be

televised this spring, l h e play-

by-play announcer w i l l be lay

Randolph, a long wi th former

Miami coach Ron Fraser.

There are three games in

February and March, tour in

Apr i l and six in May planned

for telecasts o n SportsChannel

Florida.

this wee.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31 W Tennis vs. Southern

Mississippi 1 p.m., Schiff Center

Swimming vs. Florida Atlantic 4:00 p.m., UC Pool

Baseball vs. South A labama 7 p.m., Mark Light

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1 W Indoor Track @ I l l inois Invit

Al l Day. Champaign, III.

Swimming vs. Hurr icane Invit 9 a.m., U C Pool

M Tennis @ Virginia C o m m o n . 1 p.m., R ichmond, Va.

Swimming vs. Indian River 2 p.m., UC Pool

Baseball vs. South Alabama 7 p.m., Mark Light

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 2 W Basketball vs. Vi l lanova

12 p.m.. Knight Complex

M Basketball @ Rutgers 12:30 p.m., Piscataway, N |

Baseball vs South -\lahama 1:10p.m., Mark Light

M Tennis @ George Wash. 2:00 p m . . Wash , D.C.

M Soccer @ Boca Raton S.C. 12 p.m., Lake Wayman Pk.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3 W Golf vs. FAU Tournament

All Day, Miami

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4 VA lentils vs Fl, Internal ' I U n i v

i 10 p.m., Schiff Center

M - Men's; W - Women's

PAGE 6 • T i l l ! t l m i l I I I I l l l l l I U ! • FRIDAY, JANUARY 31,1997

Canes show improvement • Despite losses, Miami steps up their play to another level By JONATHAN SANTUCCI

Hur ru \ ine Sports Writer : Although the Miami Hurricanes'

women's basketball team doesn'l hive a winning record (8-11. 3-8). tiVy have shown vast improvement.

J"Anybody who had seen this team id October and i f they sec the team now wi l l realize that we keep get-ling hotter and better ever) dav. and that'-, a great tribute lo the kid*..' said head coach Ferne Labati.

It's true. While the leam may be losing,

their level ol play is improving. This was must evident In Ihe 72-71 loss to 14th-ranked Notre Dame. Not only are individuals stepping up their play but ihey are plav ing better together.

"They play together as a team, they play for one another." said Labati. " In the game |against Notre Dame| we were down live and wc could have given up. bul wc plaved with a lot of confidence and wc plaved as a team."

Players like Gina Graziani. Kym Mope and Octavia Blue have all improved this season, while Desma Thomas has plaved consistently.

Gra/iani. a freshman poinl guard. has shown the most improvement m the season.

" l i s difficult to make the transi­tion from high school lo college.'' saul Labati. "She's worked verv hard and she just gels better every game."

Gra/ iani . who averaged four to five assists per game in the begin­ning of the season, has had double-digit assists in the past four games. Currently. Gra/iani leads the Big Last in assists and is sixth in the nation.

Kvm Hope, a sophomore cenler. averaged 14 minutes, 3.2 points and 3.7 rebounds per game lasl season This season she is second on the team in tcor inf wnh l l i points per game, and is leading Ihe leam in rebounds wnh 8.6 a game Hope

HUNTER CAREY / Pholo Editor TRAFFIC JAM: De»ma Thomas pushes past Notre Dame's Rosaline B o h m j n dur ing Wednesday's game against the r ight ing Irish.

scored a career-high 23 career-high 23 points against St. John's and has led the Canes in rebounding 13 out of the 18 games. She is currently fourth in the Big East in rebounding and third in blocked shots with 1.8 a game.

Octavia Blue, a junior guard, leads the team in points per game wi th 14.9 and scored her l.tMXIlh career point earlier Ihis year against Seton 11.ill She is second on ihe leam in icbounding wnh 5.1 per game, .nui has Improved hei free llitovvs Irom W, last season lo W . llus year. Blue scored • career-high J I points ihis season against

Georgetown and is Miami's go-to player in clutch situations.

Desma Thomas, a senior forward, has tallied career highs in points (28), three-point field goals made (6) and assists (7) this season. She is the Hurricanes' main threat from three-point range und is a true leader on lhe team.

"Desma is • senior, she's a leader. and she's very lalonlcd." Labali said

Miami as a team has improved. Thej shot ii season-high 54'r from the hoof against St. John's, and have plaved strong defense—causing teams to turn the ball over.

Career Fair: 6 February 1997, Wellness Center

Yes

Yes

ll HILARIOUS! - D o n Stotter, ENTERTAINMENT TIME-OUT

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BAWDY, BOISTEROUS. BELLY-LAUCHS ROM START TO FINISH:

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RASCALLY!" - M i c h a e l Calleri, CBS-TV/BUFFALO

N o

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Presented by

RADO PROUD SPONSOR & RECRUITERS OF THE LIPTON CHAMPIONSHIP

Iriday groove 12:00 pm UC Patio Tiiniii.niiiiii:ihu:Elb

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31 19971

aKesceare , . be true Kenneth Branagh stays true to Hamlet's original text

Hamlet

(out of four stars)

RUBEN ROSARIO

[Im Critic

^Kenneth Branagh wants you to like Shakespeare, ttroughout his two previous retellings of the Bard's plays— D89's rousing Henry V and 1993's vibrant Much Ado About mthing—_he British auteur grabbed his viewers by the lapel laid forced them to savor the poetry of Elizabethan theater. He cjjdn't simply adapt the texts for film; with unfettered energy, Qfe smeared the iambic pentameter across the canvas of a movie SJ ecn until it stirred your soul. The results, Keanu Reeves ^withstanding, were often startling in their vitality. ""•Branagh employs the same overwrought style in his spirited tjjce on Hamlet, a grueling yet exhilarating 238-minute opus tbat displays its director's obsession with exploring the dilem-d» of a man who can't make up his mind. Unlike earlier cine-latetic portrayals of the indecisive Danish prince, this Hamlet djeserves Shakespeare's tragedy in its mammoth entirety. Did tje director of the Hitchcockian thriller Dead Again lose his sjtiity in his ego trip, er, crusade to make the Bard's work res-djjate with contemporary filmgoers?

JWatching this lavishly mounted spectacle, it soon becomes c|sar that the Oscar-nominated filmmaker has. indeed, gone Idfo in the head, and that, for Ihe most part, is a good thing. Nobody in his or her right mind would try to make a watchable m«v ie out of the w hole play. Laurence Oli\ ier, whose haunting I94X adaptation won trim tt Besl Actor Oscar, cut the text. So did franco Zeflirelli. in his viewer-friendly I9W production starring Mel Gibson and Glenn Close. (I've gm two words for you. Franco: Cliff"* Notes!)

To an extent. Branagh's naysayers make a valid argument Hamlet will win Branagh lew new admirers and mav even alienate some of his followers. Its nearly obscene overlength. especially during the film's first hour, gets on your nerves and takes your patience to the brink.

Why didn't Branagh follow in the footsteps ol his more sen­sible peers? In the midst of the frustration one feels upon watching monologues that, by today's standards, last for ages, the answer becomes clear: By keeping the text virtually intact. Branagh attempts to take his audience inside his protagonist's head in a way that previous retellings, he believes, could not

achieve. For those viewers willing to check their rapid-

paced expectations of what a movie should be at j, the box office, Hamlet provides one of the most

insightful—and grandly conceived—depictions of the Nordic prince ever captured on celluloid. By * the time the film reaches the "To be or not to be" ; speech, one is not merely watching Kenneth *i$ Branagh. stanng at his platinum-blond, goateed : reflection at Elsinore's mirrored hall: one is wit- * nessing the struggle of a man trying to make sense -ijj of his fragmented psyche.

In a fiery tour de force performance, the prolific filmmaker displays a volatile mixture of rage and agony that enthralls as it gets to the heart of his character's predicament.

If there's anything missing here, it's the brood­ing demeanor that Olivier conveyed so well almost 40 years ago. Branagh's Hamlet, in con­trast, is resentful ^ ^ 1aJM..«a>it-*jht. without being odious: a buffoon, spoiled brat, vin­dictive heir and gallant swords­man in an Aryan s package. 4 i

As in Much Ada About *. Nothing, Branagh experiments by pairing British stage veterans like Derek Jacob! wilh Hollywood ij personalities liki Charlton Hefton,'(

Jack Lemmon 4 and (brace your-sell) Robin Williams. As expected, the results are mixed: While Jacubi is superb as Claudius. Hamlet's murderous paternal uncle, Gerard Depardieu's Gallic Reynaldo rivals Billy Crystal's Jersey-shore First Grave-digger for the most bizarre readings of Shakespeare ever filmed. Of the American actors. Heston's solid cameo us the Player King towers above his colleagues amateurish (Leinnion's Marcellus) and unrestrained (Williams' Osric) the

itos courtesy oi Castle Rock Entertainment

REFLECTIONS: Julie Christie (below), Kate Winslet and Richard

Briers (left), j o i n the rest of the all-star international cast ot Hamlet

directed by and starring Kevin Branagh (above).

^ _ _ _ _ _ - - . - • - • - ' • • - • •

atnes. For better or worse, they help It put the "ham" back in Hamlet.

Not that restraint i> Branagh's strong suit. Hamlet features plenty

*,. of the director's idiosyncratic nour­ishes. Some, like the confetti that

f seals the wedding vows of Claudius and Hamlets mother Gertrude ,Dr. Zhivagti's Julie Christie), take your

t breath away. Others, like the , techno-gutturul

i1" growl that passes for the voice of 2* Hamlet Sr. s ghost, are jarring and K annoying

But what Hamlet gets wrong styl-$• istically. it more than compensates

with sumptuous production values i expect cinematographer Alex Thomson, production designer Tim

irvey and costume designer Alexandra Byrne to be on Oscar's short listi and a larger-than-life approach to its subject matter lhat would have fizzled with a sant'i director at the helm

Branagh may have been absolutely craz) to think his four-hour Hamlet would stand a chance, but in going for broke he has made an event movie that challenges the intellect as effec­tively as it is captivates the imagination

i | Tin W Ha,

Stranded at the drive-in Hurricane Productions presents Ferris Bueler's Day Off and Animal House on the IM Field By SARAH G U A R N A C C I A

Assistant News Editor It will be the only time when one can say

that a blanket has the ability to take on the role of a car.

Spread across with blankets and lawn chairs on the Intramural Field, students are invited to participate in I blast trom the past: UM's first drive-in movie.

Even though the title states it, Mark Ilowbridge. Student Activities director, {louts there is not going to be cars allowed to 'jUrtve-in." It will still have the same atmos-Ijfiere as a ihe classic drive-ins once did. jT'lt's romantic Bring a blanket and watch a (Jftivie under the stars." he saul •What would seem to be a job for Superman.

bnnging in the state of the equipment onto the field will not be painstaking for members of Hurricane Productions, said Marisol Triana. lecture chair of Hurricane Productions and head ofthe drive-in activity.

"The company that we're with actually conies and unloads the equipment onto the field. We provide the publicity." Triana said.

With the screen that is said to be larger than that of a movie theater's, sludenls will sec Fern, Buellcrs Day Off and Animal House like they have never seen them before.

"Just kick back with your friends and watch it on a big screen." Triana said

The lost art of the drive-in movie has been brought back lo the planet, particularly on col­lege campuses by a company called the

Auburn Moon Agency. They lour the southern states promoting the drive-in movie idea to various college organizations that are search for events to offer their students.

"They gave us a preview to see how good the movie would look." said Trow bridge.

According to many sludents. movie (heaters and home videos become monotonous and they are looking forward to the different set­ting the outdoor mo\ ie theater

"It's a welcomed change than just a regular movie. I think n should be done over and over again." said sophomore Errol Blown

The outside environment will be less con­strictive than it would be at Cosford Cinema, said Triana. And that was a factor in choosing this % 1.500 event for the campus.

'You dont have to be super quiet. It is more laid back, with a social atmosphere.

Triana hopes to target the freshman through this first-time event.

"Hopefully they'll see it in the field and want to check it out," she said.

The time of year that the drive-in is sched­uled for is especially appropriate because of the nice weather that generally accompanies late January, said Triana.

"The weather is cool, hut not uncomfort­able It\ also good to kick off the new semes­ter," Triana uid.

Along w ith the show ing of the movies, pop­corn and sodas will be served free ol charge. The movies begin at 7:30 and will probably finish' by 11 p.m.

-1

Photo coortt'sv ol PARAMOUNT PICTURES

A CLASSIC: lo in Hurr icane Productions tor their presenta­

t i on ol Ferris Biiflct i ( ».H On on the I M t ield.

spotlight

TICKETS FOR MOLIERE'S TARTUFFE OH SMI

This past Monday, January';' 27 , at noon, the Jerry Hermaaj ; Ring Theater box of f ice o p e n e d ' t icket sales for their p r o d u c t i o n • of Mol iere's classic comedy-' ' Tartutie Set in Paris 1669, it ItW an extremely humorous French farce, about a con-art ist by th«> name of Tartuffe and the elite.. fami ly he tries to con . It is per-i'i haps the wor ld 's most famous satire ot rel igious hypocr isy^* Tartutie. done in arena stage,'' w i l l be pe r fo rmed f rom February 12 to 22. The Ring., Theater and box o f f ice art> located at 1380 Mi l le r Dr ive, . ' Coral Gables, 33124.

movie BILL COSFORD CINEMA Hotline: 284-4861

!

Fr i . Jan. 31 Red Cherry Free,\.i\ Sat. Feb. 1 Red Cherry

freeway Sun. Feb. 2 Red Cherry f reewav

8:00 p.m. 10:30 p.m.

5:30 p.m. 8:00 p.m. 10:30 p.m

1:30 p.m. 8:00 p.m.

J i - »

What Hurru,HW m o v i e reviewers have said about f i lms (urrenf ly showing:

The Relic "Horrible'.

The English Patient

"Claat Shine "Geottrey Rush is Osiar wor­thy." lerry Maguire "Tom Cru/se > best perlor-mani r Scream "Wes Craven's besl The People vs. Larry Flynt "Very good." The Crucible 'Daniel Day-Lew is is awe­

some. " Ransom "Excellent.

My Fellow Americans "Garnet and Lemmon shine together."

•BBBBBBBBBaaaWa

• O n Friday, lanuary 3 1 , at 12:00 p.m.. at the Rock, the opening ceremonies tor BL ICK Awareness M o n t h b e g i n * Fo l lowed by the President's |am on Saturday, February 1, at the Rathskeller, at 9 :00-1:30 a.m., a party celebrat ing Black Awareness M o n t h . Monday , February 3, at 7:30 p.m. in the UC Ballroom C, w i l l be Mov ie Trivia Night, a ninnf of black f i lm trivia. Teams ot four w i l l compete lor run and prizes. Sponsored by the Black Filmmakers Associat ion.

• Andrew L loyd VVebl wor ld tour of CM is In its f inal week al the l.ickie Cileason Theater Final show February 2. Tickets still ava i l i

• There wi l l be a i haritv lash-ion show in benefit o l The M i a m i Project to Cure Paralysis, •attending, and per-formlng, w i l l be ex-Beach Boy M i k e Love and Ins Endless. Summer Band. It w i l l also fea­ture Carolina Herrera i i rulsc co l l ec t i on . It begins Friday, lanu.irv 11 al 7: 10 p.m., al Port ot M iam i s le rmmal 12. Tickets range f rom $150 to $500 per person

C,illlk)5i24l MHU tor r-vations.

I*.-~tf_T JJ

T H E *tj

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• • *

Sky walker Revisited

Despite a $10 million face lift. Star Wars: i Special Edition works for the simplest of %• reasons: It's a good story, well told.

Star Wars

(out of four stars)

By RUBEN ROSARIO Film Crit ir

As the credits began to rol l at the preview screening ot Star Wars: Special Edition, nn companion turned to me and likened the experience o l watching the 20-v ear-old film io "seeing old Inends. again." He is right in more ways than he intended. The reason why we keep return­ing to that galaxy lar. far away lies, not in the ground­breaking technical wizardry, but in the wav George l.ucas fashioned a new mythology out ol other genres' spare parts and. particularly, in the memorable characters that w i l l remain in our cultural lexicon for eons to come

But despite the sci-f i tr i logy's worldwide success, l.ucas was never pleased with the way the original Star Wars turned out. The special-effects crew invented the new technology as they went along, and budget con­straints forced the executive producer of the /milium Jenei movies to alter some scenes and delete others alto­gether. The re-release o f the 1977 space yarn, opening everywhere today, gives its mastermind another chance io lell the i tof) of desert-hum-turned-Rebel-pilot Luke Skywalker (a whiny Mark IJamill still holds kitschy appeal) as he originally envisioned it, cynics and purists be damned'

Is ihe *.!() million face liti a blatant marketing plov to raise an increasingly jaded public's awareness of the upcoming prequels' ( S M / Wars is actually A Neu Hope. Episode IVof the Jedi saga.) Is it a wish fulf i l lment for a movie mogul with a sterling reputation and money lo spare? Or is it an earnest attempt to introduce a new gen­eration o f filmgocrs to the spine-tingling pleasure of

%

hearing Darth Vader's rhythmic breathing on stereoph<j<>-ic speakers'

Slar Wars: Special Edition is all of the above, bai beneath all the hype and THX-enhanced visuals, the struggle of the Rebel All iance to triumph over lli Empire still strikes a chord for the simplest ol reason* It's a good story, wel l told. Admittedly, the addition of never-before-secn footage and nif ty CGI graphics gives -gooscbiinips to this former Jedi-knight-w anna-be HoW can vou resist, lor example. Ihe sight of the brash Kan Solo (a charismatic Harrison Ford shows all the signs^J I star-in-the-making) sparring wi th a computer-gcnerjiV n l Jahha the Hut as If he were dealing with an mie» galactic Don Corleone'.' How can vou not watch in a»f» as • tleet of X-wing lighters, readying itself lor battlp. tills the t ian ie '

A l l this tinkering with a beloved classic makes the llir-ishcd product a more polished affair, but it neither takH away nor adds anything relevant f rom what was therein the first place. Star Wars gave Lucas a chance to c o w bine old-fashioned American archetypes, such as the Western and the war f i lm , with Eastern elements l i jp Buddhism (Alec Guinness' Obi-Wan Kenobi describes* the Force as an "energv field created by all things"! afld the samurai tale. Directed with more attention |o sttur-ture and pacing than to performance (Guinness and Font aside, the acting's endearingly lame), the film celebrated the motion picture event even as i l heralded the block­buster as the dominant (read: more profitable) mode of Hollywood filmmaking.

Those revamped explosions with the atomic rings sure look cool, but they're nothing compared lo lhe firework? generated bv Han Solo's w ink lo Princess Leia aftei ajV places a medal around his neck. Those reptiles the Storintroopeis use to ride in Luke's home planet afe awesome, but they lack the disarming rapport between that mobile trash can (R2-D2) and cinema's foremtwt robotic drama queen (C-3PO). That creepy sound we hear as Darth Vader crushes the throat o f a dissident Imperial officer is out o f this wor ld, but I'd prefer John Wil l iams' majestic, sweeping score any day.

Yes. the nov city of Slar Wars: Special Edition consn.1-of l itt le more lhan digital eye candy, but at least we H> to experience this pulpy slice ol high lech AmericajltW the big screen belore the mil lennium's over Its pcr t lv ; tionist creator has finally gotten the opportunity lo sh his sc i - ti niasierpiece as he alwavs intended it, and \ this we should all leel a little more fortunate to inha this galaxv.

C***.

if • •.

IURN

\

The Empire Strikes Green

r * #

I Star Wars is back, only now I admission costs $6.50

BZACH RALSTON H rit ane Staff Writer

>r those ol vou unaware of the schemes of the Hlywood system, let me break it down tor you. Wstevei titillates, works Whatevei works, sells Waever sells, is copied, and whatever is copied, is re-reised You might have seen incarnations ol such aons ,11 work in TV-Land, when the success ot Finds and Seinfeld spawned gremlin children like Culme Iii ihe City. The Single Guy, Boston Common amFaniiers.

he meat grinder of the entertainment world works mil like a hot dog factory: The grade-A beef costs me. so they try to sell as little quality as possible, lill-inijproduct with rodent hairs, insect droppings and

franchise superpower) toys into lull throttle. Several reasons can be cited for this encore presentation, lt could he thai, alter masterminding the dreadfully inept Radiiiluiiil Murders, as well as several other brainless flops. Lucas wanted to remind the public thai he was once successful, ll could also be that he wants to adver­tise the new films, introducing special effects in the old ones and telling young audiences what is in store for the future. The difference is. you will pay for this adver­tisement willingly (albeit at a student discount).

This event has not been a silent one. Commercials and media attention have announced the second coming of Star Wars for months. The Super Bowl was littered with Star Wars commercials, where we all but saw Yoda cracking open a Pepsi can and firing down a soft taco.

che] * • pul

sel] Ilia Sn. woi rea tan

hical additives until they reach maximum profits 1 minimal expenditure But it's fattening, so the

: eats it up. and asks for seconds. pasl vear. Hollywood automatons asked them what works Well, nothing has worked belter

lhe Slur Wars trilogy, so they went. "Let's make a IWars for this generation." They stapled some

ether that were written in the bathroom while ne stereo instructions, added Will Smith and some

nputet effects .uul called il Independence Day. Thjheap of Cro-Magnon garbage pulled in a hefty S sd million al the box offke.

II IIU wasn't close enough to St.n Wars, and they illv had IO pay actors (as well as Bill Pullman) So (houglii. "Why not put Slar Hbn back in theaters |ar. instead nl going through the irritating trouble king a new movie'.'" George Lucas and Ins hand

rliiio geek ennui's, in preparation fot the produc |fthree more entries In lhe scries, arc doing some

surgery on the old ones, and unleashing them __. J h i t o big-semen society.

» |y 1997 will sec the re release ol Slur Him, I he I.mil. strikes Back and Return Oj the Jedi. with digi-talfjund. revised special effects, scenes lhal were (p«$)ahlv w iselv I excised out of the rough cut and even

i bad -ins All this along with a $2 million Pei i contract. •i urge Lucas, creatot ot the irries, and director ni

movie i.is well as \inciHiiii Graffiti, a legitj-liriily -nn.l film) is the tvizard behind it all. throwing

l ,.mai i.ighi iV Magi*. !•>•* *' ll M •'» efftx"ls

What happened to the line between art and merchan­dising' But, like I said before, what works, sells.

The phenomenal success of the trilogy is not difficult lo understand. Star Wars—based partly on Akira Kurosawa's samurai Western The Hidden F'ortress is one cnlcrtaining Western in space It's got the good guys, the bad guys, and it moves like a Millenium falcon.

Problem is, the acting stinks, and the story, while swiftly told, is pretty thin But that's not what your average ll>-.M)-year-old remembers The generation of kids lhat grew up munching popcorn during \ wing fighter chases remember Darth Vader s mask and CNN mice ihey remember weird monsters in bars, and a lov cable ape called Chewbacca

I lie effect! were the story, and because ot laser ammunition and light-speed spaceships, every kid in America pined lor Slar Wai > toys, figures, lunch boves. cereals. T-shirts, hats, drinking glasses, bells and Happy Meals. But Star Hlus as an event doesni eXCUae the failures of the film It wasn't bad. but it wasn't great, and the trend) it started were anything but great.

Mark Hamill. an actor that makes Pauly Shore look like John Malkovich, stars as the white-knight hero Luke Skywalker His love interest-slash-sister. Leia, is played with all the substance of a microwaved bumto by Came Fisher (whose denial of Luke's advances makes his incestuous motives all the mote slea/y i Harrison Font, is Han Solo, is charming, and despite Lucas' .mn actor directing method, su-als the film; he went on in become one of the biggest box ottice draws ol the nexl twenty veils

> f i

The first sequel. The Empire Strikes Buck, was g bet­ter film with the same type of acting But who could torget images like Luke's arm getting sliced off! And Han Solo getting frozen in ice '

A dark ending meant only one thing: a second sequel. Return ofthe Jedi, the weakest of the films, cashed in on even more of the commercialism, substituting Muppets for characters.

The "lovable" Ewoks, rejects from Jim Henson's Muppet Show, run through the jungle, and a slimy, disgusting, bloated monster holds Leia on a chain. By now. human beings are merely sideshows, and the special effects, makeup and imaginative creatures have become the centerpiece. Such a formula all but ensured the film of being tops in box office receipts for the year

It was a fun movie for many kids, but not by a long shot was it a good movie. And Star Wars as an exercise in bad acting and thin develop­ment set one of the most disturbing trends in recent years.

Action films these days now know that acting is unimportant (see Cary Elwes' laughable villain in Twister), and soon we might just have the dolly grip suiting up to avoid paying SAG salaries. The guns, the ships and the explosions are what sells. and who the heck remembers Mark Hamill anyway? Kurosawa cast Toshiro Mtfune in The Hidden Fortress because he cared about cinema. Roland Emmerich cast Bill Pullman in ID4 because he cared about money

This brings up the other frightening trend that S u r Win bore The "blockbuster" motion picture was | dream to slimy movie producers. They fig­ured that it was easier (and a lot more profitable) to market one $80 million movie that would make VMM) million back, than it was to market tour $20 million movies that were nsky (due to artsy direc­tors, unknown talents and intelligent ideas) that could sink them financially. You buy Star Wars. you pay with Twister. You ignore Hal Hartley's Amateur, and you'll never see Flirt. So don't com­plain that the studios aren't making quality movies. They give us what we deserve Garbage in, garbage out.

Bul let's get back to the subject at hand, which is the face-lift of Jabba the Hut What is Lucas saying about his film by putting it back out with "bettei" effects' Is Ins movie only as good as the comput­et s ' ll it were ihe story that mattered, a restoration ol effects wouldn't be necessary But Ihe shameless commercialism ot re-releasing • 20-year old fran­chise onlv reinforces the greedy theory ot block­buster moviemaking

The bigger ilie explosion, the louder the engines, ihe more butts in seats. And if all the new Star Wars trilogy has to otter are loud video­game graphics and bargain-basement acting. I'm going in skip it. I can rent The Hidden Forth vv tor two dollars.

Don't let me stop you, however. See this mammoth picture on the big screen, and herd yourself into the theaters tot a renin. Because the sad thing is. with Dante's Peak set lo be released in F'ebniary. Slar Wars. made twenty years ago. just might be the best Iilm released next month

May ihe force be with you. and your mer chandise

\ .

.« am-, MM

4

y jback together again

bobby browi johnny gill ralph tresv*cit ricky bell mike bivins ronnie devo

Photo courtesy of INTERSCOPE RECORDS

REUNION: NE gets back : together again and are on tour.

By KWASI TANKS ;Music Reviewer

During this past Friday, New Edition per­formed on their Home Again tour in the

*Miarru Arena. New Edition is not a new group nor are they the high pitched teenagers they once were; they are now re­grouped and have maintained an appeal that

stretches across numerous age groups. NE's appeal was apparent in the fact that every­body and their mom was ihere, including elderly couples and little kids.

The opening acts were no slouches, they added to the R&B theme of the night. First up was 702. followed by Black Street, and then Keith Sweat. Tlie highlight of these opening acts was when Keith Sweat asked the women in the crowd, 'Who begs better than me?" To their delight, and just like the hit song he was about to sing, he answered "Nobody."

New Edition's grand entrance was made

when each member was lowered on the stage by his own mini-elevator which was attached to the columns of the colonial house prop. They opened with a couple of their old songs, then they left the stage to perform as individuals.

Bobby Brown was first, as could be expected, he sang "My Prerogative." However, he wasn't being predictable when he mooned the crowed. Bobby also lei Ihe crowd know about his album Bobby Brown Forever, which should be coming out on March 28.

Following Bobby was Bell Biv Devoe.

They did a couple of songs; one of their selections was "Poison"; you remember that song—it goes something like..."Never trust a big -— and a smile."

Ralph Tresvant was the next solo artist. He was doing his preltyboy. crying man rou­tine; blabbing on about you need a man with sensitivity. The ladies seemed to like it.

Lastly, as far as the solo artist were con­cerned, was Johnny Gill. Although he wasn't out there tap dancing and doing a song and dance deal, he was effective. He is the most skilled vocalist in New Edition. All he need­ed for his act were two buckets of roses and

my, my, my. Like Bobby Brown hfso saitl that he was coming out with a nevejbum ia the near future.

Finally, New Edition as a groups™ out one last time to perform some of fir more well-known slow jams as soloi* group. •*.,;

I find that New Edition has mo lo otter if you look at them from a collect! stand­point. The Home Again concert aNived the audience to see how NE devehed as a group and as individual artists. I Sid that Ihis concert gave you a reminder' the old school and a hint of the new.

Laughter is L a c k i n g Neil Simon's Laughter on the 23rd Floor isn't all that it is cracked up to be

Photo courtesy of the Actor's Playhouse SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE: The cast of Laughter on the 23rd Floor join together for a few smiles and not so many laughs.

By JAMIE SEGAL Hurricane Staff Writer

Great comedy is expected out of a man whose name is Neil Simon, the most successful comedic writer on Broadway. However, comedy was lacking in the pro­duction of Laughter on lhe 23rd Floor al the Actors' Playhouse at the Miracle Cenler in Coral Gables.

Simon's partially autobiographical story depicts seven writers, a comedian and a secretary all working for a variety show on the 23rd floor of a New York office building in 1953. Each have different nationalities which become the brunt of must of Simon's jokes

The set was very authentic, from the real bagels to the textured glass doors. The snow falling outside the win dow was a nice touch. Costumes were bright, colorful and really enhanced the characters. Lighting remained fairly constant. Louis Jeroslow, who is in charge nl lighting design, could have taken a nap during Ihe pro­

duction. James Puig's portrayal of Ira Stone, the hypochondri­

ac, was magnificent. His dramatic antics was one of the few things that kept my attention. Gary Marachek plavs Max Prince, the load comedian He is a great actor with a real flair for the stage. They really did everything they could with such a lousy script.

However, despite these two wonderful actors. I could not relate to much ofthe comedy. I understood the many references lo historical figures such as Stalin and loseph McCarthy, but did not find humor in them. I believe it was intended for a more mature audience.

With all of Neil Simon's success. I suppose he is enti­tled to a flop occasionally. I recommend his older works Shows such as Brighton Beach Memoirs. Bilmi Blues and Losl in Yonkers live up to the Simon name Sadly enough, Uiughter on the 2 Ird Floor is no laughing mat ter.

P here are some computer terms tor those who are digitally challenged

Central Processing Unit (CPU): Brain of computer. Random Access Memory (RAM): Temporary storage. Hard Disk Drive (HDD): Magnetic storage device fit into computer. Floppy Disk Drive (FDD): A .small, flexible, relatively inexpensive computer dis for

storing data. CD-ROM (Read Only Memory): Mass storage device. Modem: Device used to communicate via telephone lines. Program: A logical sequence of operations in solving a problem or in processing

data. Internet: A network of computer networks. Mouse: A small, hand-held device that is moved about on a flat surface in front OR

terminal screen in such a way as to move or position the cursor. Printer: A device that prints. Multimedia: The simultaneous presentation of a series of effects. Cathode Ray Tube (CRT): A vacuum tube in which a stream of electrons can be

focused on a fluorescent screen, producing lighted traces. Backup: An accumulation because of a stoppage. Byte, Kilobyte, Megabyte, Gigabyte: Units used to measure storage. Network: An arrangement of parallel wires. Microchip: A semiconductor body in which an integrated circuit is formed or is t

be formed. Port: Connector. Chat: Talking groups on the Internet. Browser: Software which provides a window into the World Wide Web. World Wide Web: A portion in the Internet that can deliver information, graphics

sound and much more. Link: A series or system of links. Scanner: A device that allows one to digitalize photos, etc. to put them into the

computer. E-mail: Electronic mail. File: A coniainer, like a folder. Directory: Main menu of listings. Hardware: Computer equipment. Software: Programs. PC: Personal Computer. Peripherals: Hardware devices you attach to your computer to perform various

functions. Download: Revive a program for a remote location. Upload: Send a program to a remote location.

canelits Have you ever been in one of those situations where then wasn't a word in the English language to describe it?

by Let NtSStL Hurricane Staff Writer

A few years ago. HBO had a comedic variety show called 'Not Necessarily the News' where Smulets made a minor break­out into society. One of my fiends used to bring his Sniglets book (there were several) to grade school and we would enjoy reading these made-up words for things and situa­tions without a name.

For example.! he word "Snaikinosphere" describes the part of a potato chip bag thai is filled with air. I don't remember the books-lull, but il is certainly fun to create your own sniglets. I enjoyed trying to document some­things observable around UM. we'll call ihem "Canelits.''

CAFOBIA: The fear of traveling to the cafeteria alone This hits groups nf people who tend to hang out with each othei all the time. It seems to spread to all oilier campus activities, so the same people can be seen together eating every meal, going io the Wellness Center, visiting the pool. Mc,

SUNGBRELLA WEATHER: Don't leave home without wearing eunglutei and carrying an umbrella. Indigenous to South Florida, also known to roam ihrough Hawaii. Arizona, tropical islands, with rare occasional appearances throughout the rest of the country.

K».I. M HEDUPOOLS: These are stu­dents who schedule their classes around Prime Time Sun so they can sunbathe by lhe pool. These people rarely miss a ray ot sun. and can be spotted even on mostly cloudy days

STALLOGNER: Someone who puts a little too much muscle inlo their perfume or cologne. Never be concerned aboui being taken by surprise, a Stallogncr can be smelled coming up trom behind yuu long before being seen.

PEELIDIOT: Unfortunately, UM is overridden wilh peehdiols. These are people who screech peeling out of parking lots just lo slow down for Ihe light or stop sign 200 yards away Ihey ruin their tires and trans­missions and think Ihey are impressing someone. While Ihey may have succeeded in making some students (usually of Ihe opposite sex) turn their heads, it is mil in admiration, bul rather they are shaking their heads in disapproval of such idiot behavior.

IGNORLATETAKE: This occurs when you pass someone you know on campus and look at them once, not fully processing that you actually know them before returning your glance back down to the sidewalk Thej look up at you just in lime to nolice you looking away, and think you are ignor­ing them. In the split second later when >oii finally, realize who il is. and you look back

up to say "hi," it is already too late, and the damage is done. (If you're lucky you can smile anyway and hope thai they catch if )

MASSFASH: Most prevalent with females bul still common wilh males, this is a lashion irend which spreads quickly throughout the campus i.nising students to lose their individuality Example Calvin Klein T-shitts. ot pierced belly buttons Often sludenls will (all hiuiiiwasheil into paying .ill amount ul latch!) in older to become one of lhe rnuntlani

LITTLE s o i I M S I i s i small or Inefficient Hingis* .SUIII -.olely for the purpoM- 0| fi lmm liny C M *i the purpose of iungluMi .>. iln w. walks around campus 'iiiuiiiue in hnghl sunlight

n t O f C L O C K i Hu. iiii.iiio, in Iwo cases first, wlu-n tin . I*,. I ,,i iln claSSlllOIll IS slow. Nil III! pioll ,,.,! ,1.,, ,,,,! believe vou leajotld, when ,i piulc.-.ui i well aware ol lhe time, bul Infill ing you until the very lust Mcuod class. (This type ol profciaof w til u , t,,, on vince you lhat you ihould In >*!...! il,. leaching you lor evety leaf penny ul you tuition.) But never forgel ii *ia.i• i, noi quantity'

PENNYLIZING: lhe unlnnun.ii. up off process of helpless sliuli ui who ri iwo pennies to the doll.u Im

when they're only a semester old and in great condition

4-WHEEL-STEAL: A big problem for conunuters. this is when somebody is well aware of the other person already waiting patiently with the blinker on for parking spot, but sneaks in from the other direction and scoots into the spot, both victims of UM p.iiking -related stress and spot-shortage.

SELF-UNCONSCIOUSNESS OR INVANITY: A delusion suffered by some

nis who wear clothing most unflatter­ing to their figure (If it gets out of hand, iln ti* may neid lo instate the Daisy Duke Polk

NERVKWATCHGLANCER: Nervous ue fidgety and look at their

in iiiiii i io avoid eye contact with •nr i oming toward them They pay no

.HI. iiin HI wli.iisiKvii lo the actual time, only il" l"> .iiu'ii ol the other person. When the 1 'tin i people Ins finally pussed. lhe nerve-w.iii hflMCM realizes they really do want lo know what nnn* il is and looks again at the wall h lor its real purpose

IKEAQMAII.ER: A students who fre­quently uses the free email system at Ihe I invi i Ms to , omniums ate wnh Iricnds and l.nnilv I hey can he annoying in the way of

nis io use ihe computer! in Ihe labs for II,il iliiiiil work Warning: Ihis lends to

kip inlo a lilelong addiction wheie it

not controlled, can force someone tonempt to check their e-mail up to four timi a day. Actually healthy in moderate doses.

If you have any of you own "Canelits," la)el them "attentbn Emily" and bring them tc The Miami Hurricane office, UC 221

•y

FRIDAY, JANUARY 3!, 1997 • Till-: ill IHI III Illlll Ul • PAGE 1 j

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Tin ,ih\ii HI ....nm: FRIDAY, JANUARY 31,1997 OPIIIOI

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

Would you rather keep $100,ibO or give $1 million to varsjus

charities, and wiy?

student speak up

0 If you could could rename

M anything in the world after yourself, what would it be and why?

Speak Up answers are edited for clarity, brevity and accuracy. •

7 would like I the sun to be named .liter me bi't awe everyday, everyone looks up to it and its the brightest part

lot your day."

MURO • JNR.

7 Willi III

name the sun hn ,iuse we have a lot of things in i ommon. I am also hnght, \ ital and important"

ANDRE FUJICHIMA SOPH.

/ would like an airline compart) thai travels the world to

| />(* named alter me

I lift aute trav-\ filing you | learn a lot "

VIRGINIA "Gigi" COSTA • SNR.

"If I would gne nn name to something, it would be an idea ot philosophy.

ADRIAN GREEN • SOPH.

"I would like a < .isino to be named alter me hei ause it's a fun plac e to be. You i an

P gamble and •^ maybe you

i an win. CRISTINA ARRASCO • SOPH.

/ would name the statue of Lbett) alter me became D sym-IMIII/I-S every­

thing fm coun­try haa tought Ioi antl I'm a lighting man.'

JASON GLADSTONE • SNR.

compiled by LUCIANO BLOTTA

Clinton needs education Wavering President shows most promise on this issue

JANE MATTHEW

What w i l l be President Clinton's agenda for the next four years1 The

answer to that question is very unclear

Already two weeks into his term, the President is still struggling to put forward a concise agenda outlining lo his party and this nation what he hopes to accomplish in his second term.

By all means this should have been set forth in the President's inaugural address, but in a lackluster performance the President presented a speech without depth and direc­tion.

There were no gallant promises to put people, or families, first; no impassioned rhetoric like that in his first State of the Union address and no evidence suggesting that Ihis President wi l l show any willingness to be politically bold during the next four years

Moreover. President Cl inton seems confused aboul what issues are important lo him.

At the very time he was declaring America would lead "a whole world of democracies" and posturing him­self as a statesman, the resident turned and buried himself in the ide­ologically divisive issue of what the government's role should be. Even then, his message lacked clarity.

He declared. "Government is not the solution. Government is not the prob lem" Necessarily, one must then ask. what then exactly does President Clinton think government is good for.'

II Clinton seeks to redefine gov­ernment, or perhaps "reinvent" it, he is far from having made that evi­dent Instead, he appears extremely reluctant and cautious to do much of

anything. Clinton could take up the issue of

government's role, something this country wi l l have to address belore the turn of the next century, but that would almost certainly mean a parti­san fight.

Elected in 1992 as the first President from the Baby Boom gen­eration, Clinton appeared to be mak­ing good on his promise to be a force for change, but the Republican Revolution, in the Congressional elections, all but put an end to his stint as a proactive New Democrat.

Faced with strong opposition the president backed down and compro­mised his agenda time and lime again.

Reluctant to risk losing political clout, he revealed himself as a Republican in Democrat's clothing. President Clinton even revived the notion of a moderate, vital center in politics as he swung precariously back and forth on the nation's polit­ical pendulum.

To date, the president has nol made a genuine, bold attempt to

redefine Democratic ideology. There is little hope he wi l l attempt to or could ever do so in his second term.

Clinton blasted Bob Dole in ad after ad during the campaign, warn­ing that a balanced budget would come only at the cost of Social Security. In a Republican counter-ad lie was seen waffl ing back and forth unable to decide how many years it would take to achieve u balanced budget.

His last budget compromise only passed in the Senate by one vote, and Vice President Gore's at that. If the president compromises yet again, he risks alienating himself f rom the Congressional Democrats. The loss of support from his pol i t i ­cal core would be absolutely devas­tating.

What then should the President do -

Focus on education. I f he wants to build a bridge to the

21 st century, he should do it in the minds of students in classrooms and colleges all across America.

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M u r no't oonS ,

Education was an extremely strong issue tor the president in the campaign, but it got virtually no attention. It may very well have been the only issue on which the president put forward a program of reform that was in absolute contrast w i th the Republican Party.

More importantly, it is an issue-where the president is focused and has real, workable ideas.

I had the honor and the privilege of seeing President Clinton speak on education last semester at Miami-Dade Community College. His ideas are absolutely heartfelt and his rhetoric is unwavering.

He believes in education and knows where he stands. He has fun­damental direction. He has real, workable ideas. He is a man with a plan.

Cl inton's proposals are almost whol ly favored by the public. Among them he advocates a $10,000 a year tax deduction tor families with students in college, increases in work-study assistance. Head Start, school maintenance funding, national standardi/at ion and wiring every classroom to the Internet.

I f it is an issue he has to fight for. it is straightforward and easily equi­table as essential to the American dream and moving then nation for­ward. A l l of this would likely mean education would gain more public support than it already has

Education is also an issue wi th which the president has had legisla­tive success. He won the fight to protect student loans, achieved increases in Pell Grant awards and. most notably, it was his vision of a national volunteer corps thai became the AmeriCorps program.

President Cl inton unabashedly promotes education without I'eai and without caution. He is truly bold. I f he wants to create a legacy that w i l l be remembered, his opportunity lies in bringing American education up to the standards the nation will 'need in the 21st century.

June Matthew is a junior major­ing in politii ul science mui religion.

Editorial perpetuates idea of unofficial prejudice, suggests some valuable advice

RIYAAD ABDUL-QAYUUM

Recently while reading The Minim Hurricane, I came across an editorial about

Ebonics. This article really dis­turbed me because as The Hurricane stated. Ebonics is also known as "Black English."

Being black myself, or at least 1 was last tune I checked, I realized ihis article was talking about me. So I read the again. Again I saw the same thing: "Black English."

This began to enrage me because 90 percent o f all my friends are black, but we do not speak our own language, which The Hurricane per­petuated Ebonics to be.

So. imagine me sitting there read­ing I newspaper and wondering i f all the black people I had spoken with were a figment of my imagina­tion. Was I having a 23-year-long dream or was I going out of my mind 7

Then, I began to think about the English language. Correct English is spoken in Great Britain. I don't watch too many Presidential speech­es, but the last time I heard President Clinton speak it didn't sound like anyone from the British Parliament. I have never heard Newt Gingrich give a speech that even remotely resembled anything from

Shakespeare's repertoire. What is accepted in America (or

as some of my Southern professors say U H - M E R - K A ) as correct English is in fact a gross attempt at correct English. As usual. I deduced from my thoughts that this is anoth­er case of "unofficial prejudice."

An individual is "unof f ic ia l ly prejudiced" when they react or speak in the same manner that a per­son who is prejudiced would, but not purposely or with the same intention*. The reasons ior a person to be unofficially prejudiced arc upbringing, habit and arrogance. I think what sets some of us apart is that we can recognize when we are being unofficially prejudiced and we try to correct our actions.

I was watching some scenes from the OJ ordeal. They come to one scene where there are approximate­ly 2.000 white people standing out­

side his affluent Brentwood house shouting murderer.

How many of you readers think I could walk to a suspected kil ler's house in Coral Gables, stand outside his/her door and begin to shout mur­derer? Now with that thought in your mind, imagine 2,(XX) o f my friends (remember 90 percent are black) coming along for the ride. The chance of that happening in this country is as l ikely as a snowball... we l l , you get the picture.

Before I digress any further, let me get back to the point I was trying to make. I f OJ had been found "gui l ty," then his butt would be in j a i l . After OJ was found "not gui l ty" these white people felt so enraged that over 2.000 o f them gathered al his house to shout murderer. This is a serious case o f unofficial preju­dice.

The way those people behaved was l ike a scene from an Old Mississippi farm where al l the whites of a town jo in together to pul l one black man out of the house and swing him from a tree...a very noble action... Nol!

I think the baby boomer genera­t ion has a serious problem with unofficial prejudice. 1 see young people working hard to overcome

stereotypes and to work together for our future. I guess that's why we are called Generation X.

In math, the X factor stands for the unknown, and we the young people are forging a path into the unknown. We choose not to fol low that old Malco lm X/Governor Wallace mentality. 1 am proud to be a Generation Xer.

On the other hand I see immense pressure coming from our parenls and grandparents to keep us apart I recall rap artists fighting for years in be recognized for Grammies and different awards. Only when white kids from the suburbs started listen­ing to rap and becoming rappers. was it recognized by the media as a form of music.

What I see is white kids growing up realizing the stereotypes perpetu­ated about blacks, or should I say people of Ebonic descent, are not true

Black kids are growing up think­ing that every white person from Mississippi is not prejudiced Pleaae reassess yourself and don' l be ,i per petuator ol unofficial prejudiced.

Rixaad Ahdiil-QiiMiuni is a junior majoring in international finance ami marketing.

e e< tor STUDENTS MUST Sl+W RESPECT FOR TEAM BEFORE NATION Wl l

To the Ed i tor : I did something for t» first

t ime in my three years «i this campus: I was dragged >v one o f my classmates lo a Hurricanes basketball gate.

Having grown up it the Northeast, all I ever hear about was the mighty B i ; East Conference and its powmouse programs like Vi lmova. Connecticut. Syracuse and Georgetown. Although I cent to college in the Midwest there was nothing I could do tcascape the name of the Big list on Saturday afternoons or lur ing N C A A Tournament time

So last Wednesday nigt I put my books aside and took te trip down to Miami Arena Usee i f our home team could atuallv knock out legendary U O I I I

Wednesday night provellto be an eye-opener for me. FoAne. I saw a Miami team abslutely embarrass the Huskies.

Rarely have 1 seen a teai put oui everything it had the vJy the Canes did. Furthermore, tit; fans in attendance really put tltir all into backing their leam I've been to some of the mos hal­lowed halls of college bisket-ball.

Per capita. Miami lans wre just as loud as fans at such tis-ketball meccas as Inuiaia, U C L A , St. John's and Michtan State. The obvious problen is the pure lack of bodies pre-tnt at the games.

It truly lends more validit to the team's accomplishmflts when you consider that the *s-ketball team has fought its * y to first place in the Big asi despite having to look inlolhe stands and see only one in )ur seats ful l .

A l l over campus I hear peple complaining that sportswrers across the country aren't sbw-ing U M any respect hecausithc team has vet to be placed iithe national Top 25 rankings.

I also hear the niinplaintsh.il we're never on ESPN or iny other form of national t e n ­sion.

There is no reason the re of the country w i l l notice the Canes basketball team if i t swn student body doesn't.

I r o m someone who has already expended his yeai o f college life, speaking to yoirur-lenl undergraduates as a viice 11'om ihe "grave," go to the games. Sit with your classmtes, cheer your I ' M basketball sam and boo the other team ol the court

1 Ins is the team that giveyou Floridians a chance to hold/our heads up again since we'vi fal l -en slightly in the in-state eck-mg order in some other spits

The fact that your team i "run­ning for its lirst Big East figue championship only makisj the experience of going t.[ the games lhat much sweeter Dure, you can go as an alum, ojt as I've learned from expenlice, it's not the same. Besides, pere are no guarantees that any tarn can repeat its success in|any year.

Enjoy it while you can i id I hope io ,ee you all at the IM-Pittsburgh game on Feb. .5. the rest of the nation won't repect our basketball team, at leasthey should get that respect Iron the people ihev go to school w.h

Noel Aa ron C i m i i n o graduate s t i k n t

THE M U I in mticm: Founded 1927

An Associated Collegiate Ptett Hall ol Fame Newspaper

fhe Miami Hurricane ii published semfweehh during lhe rtgulai ai adem edited md produced by undergraduate Uuoenlsal the University

ut Miami, iln** publii ation don not nei auarily repretent thai views and opln K ultv nt administration

rei went the opinion oi The Hurnxanea Editorial Board n letters and i artoom represent onlv the views ol theii respei live

authors rhe newsroom ind business office oi The Hurrh ane an li» ited In Iha Norman A Whitlen l niveraih t enter, Room .'.'I

Letter Policy tin' \\t,um Hurricane encourages .ill readers to voice thi'ir opinions on

issues related to the t niverslr, oi In response in my ri-[>urt publiiMd in Tha l turn, .inr

Letters to the editor may In* submitted typed OI franoWitten (please make in lhe whitten I niversity ( enter, Room 221, nr

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 31,1997 • THE Ml .HI Hi I l l l l l I t i • PAGE 13

laeph W . Accumo, D.C.

i r o p r a c t o r 6 0 3 0 B i r d R o a d Miami, Florida 3 3 1 5 5

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Completed applications must

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For more information see Luis

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Black Awareness Month -1997 University of Miami Calendar of Events "Breaking Barriers"

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31 Place: The Rock Time: Noon

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1 Place: Rathskeller Time: 9:00p.m.-1:30a.m.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3 Place: UC Ballroom C Time: 7:30 p.m.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4 Place: UC Ballroom C Time: 8:00 p.m.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6 Place: Cosford Cinema Time: 8:00 p.m.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 7 Place University Ballrooms Time: 7:00p.m.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 11 Place: Flamingo Ballroom Time: 7:00 p.m.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13 Place: Coslord Cinema Time: 8:00 p.m. Cost: $2.00

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 14 Place: Dadeland Marriot Time: 8:00 p.m. Cost: $15.00 per person

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15 Place: Gusman Hall TIME :7:00P.M.

Opening Ceremonies Dr Israel Tribble.,Jr, President and CEO of the Florida Education Fund, will be our speaker.

President' s Jam- A party celebrat­ing Black Awareness Month .

Movie Trivia Night-Anight of Black film trivia. Teams of four will compete for fun and prizes. Sponsored by : Black Filmakers Association.

Gospel Explosion - A night of gospel singing performed by UM's very own Inspirational Concert Choir and various Community Gospel Choirs.

Movie: Malcolm X- No other film in recent memory has created so much audience interest as MALCOLM X, the fascinating look at the life of the visionary black leader, vividly brought to the screen by premier filmmaker, Spike Lee. Controversial and critically- acclaimed, MALCOLM X tells the story of a maN whose ideas touched the lives of millions and have continued to do so long after his death Sponsored by Multicultural Programming Committee.

Fashion Show - Very Professional, yet hip and designed to delight the student body, community visitors and participating merchants.

Appreciating Differences within the Black Student Community- This interactive program will feature a diverse student panel and will address the difference and similari­ties between black international stu­dents and African-American stu­dents Audience participation is highly encouraged. Sponsored by: C.O.I.O S and International Student Services.

Movie:' GET ON THE BUS' - A brac­ing and very funny dramatization of urgent sociopolitical themes, "Get on the Bus" is Director Spike Lee's attempt at creating a microcosm of the Black male community via a cross-country trip by 20 odd Los Angeles men to the Million Man March. Sponsored by: Multicultural Programming Committee

Royal Heritage Ball & Banquet This formal gala is the time when Ms. Black UM Contestants are for­mally introduced. A Wonderful din­ner is served with live entertainment.

Ms. Black UM Pageant - This is a scholarship pageant. The contes­tants are judged on talent, interview, platform, creative expression, and evening wear.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17 Place: Flamingo Ballroom Time: 7:00p.m.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19 Place: Gusman Hall Time: 7:00p.m.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 21 Place: Rathskeller Time: 8:00 p.m. Cost: $5.00

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22 Place: TBA Time: TBA

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 24 Place: Cosford Cinema Time: 8:00 p.m.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 25 Place: Cosford Cinema Time: 8:00 p.m.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26 Place: U.C. Ballrooms Times: 11:45a.m.-1:00p.m.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26 Place: Cosford Cinema Times: 8:00

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28 Place: Wesley Center Time: 7:00 p.m.- 9:00p.m.

Dr. Cornel West

Professor of Religion & Afro-American

studies at Harvard University.

Ms. Juanlta Torrance-Thompson, Author and Poet - Ms. Thompson will read poet from her recent books and share some of her experiences as a writer and poet in our society.

Speaker- An Evening with Cornel West - Topic; Race Matters... or does it?

Black Comedy Jam- An evening ot fun and laughs with Black comedi­ans.

Greek Xstray Traditional Steppin performed by Black Greek Sororities and Fraternities

BAM Film Festival -TBA.

BAM Film Festival- TBA

BAM Luncheon- A Luncheon spon­sored by the Women's Commission.

BAM FILM FESTIVAL : The Fan -To Boston Red Sox fans, the signing of $5.05 million free agent Boby Rayburn represents hope itself, and so begins the saga of a devoted fan whose fascination with Rayburn veers toward psychosis after he loses his job. Featured players include Robert DeNiro as the title character and Wesley Snipes as the object of the obsession.

Collegiate Black fa Christian Conference- A fellowship among Christians consisting of workshops and guest speakers will take place through Saturday, March 1, 1997 (5-9 p.m./Wesley Center).

Sponsors: United Black Students

and

Athletics, Black Filmmakers Association, Campus Chaplains, Caribbean, African and Afro-American Studies,

C.O.I.S.O., Diversity Task Force, Division of Student Affairs, School of Law, Hurricane Productions, Interclub Council, School of Law, International Student Services,

Multicultural Programming Committee, Multicultural Student Affairs, Student Life, Woodson-Williams-Marshall

Association

For more information contact: Multicultural Student Affairs at (305) 284-2855

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JAN. 31, U.C. TV/REC AREA; BRING CLOCKS & BOARDS IF POSSIBLE; $3.

Campus l l l i Recreation

IWNAMTS in

Q |7:00PMJAN31, p £ ! U.C. TV/REC r/5 • AREA; $3.

8-BALL Q&OO BILLIARDS 6PM FRIDAY, JAN. 31, U.C. REC AREA; MENS & WOMENS EVENTS. MAY CONTINUE SATURDAY; $3.

tamp ii? winners may represent the University of Miami is. other colleges from FL, li I HS, & AL at the Region 6 ii 11 Recreation Tournament at GEORGIA TECH on February 11 HI participation in each event is dependent upon campus entries & interest Campus event registration is 1/2 hour

before tournament start time. Open to UH students, full or part time, with 2.0+ cumulative GPA. Entry fees are listed with each event.

PAGE 14 • THE MUM! Hi KKK \W •> mm, JANUARY 31, m y

Homecoming Executive Committee

Cinematic Arts Commission

SHE University of Miami

Advisory Board

Student Something for Everyone

Activities

The Department of Student Activities &

Organizations Presents:

1997-1998 Program Board Applicaitons

Now Available in UC236

CAC, Homecoming Executive Committee

Hurricane Productions & RAB

Due Monday, Febuary 3rd

Leaders wanted.

• /Mppy fyM&y! 1

24 *«d IK,**? TH,*** ftt February 10 • Februarv 15

Monday - The Rocky Horror Picture Show (8pm)

Tuesday - Murder on Cue (7pm) ^ j ^

Wednesday - Multi-Comedian Jamie Sheldon (8pm)

Thursday - Singled Out (9pm)

Friday - Dedication and Cake Cutting Howl at the Moon "Rat" (6-8pm) All Night Happy Hour (4pm-????)

Saturday - Hypnotist Tom Deluca (9pm)

Don't Miss Out!!!!!! Birthday Week '97

The Great College Drive-In Movie™

Feature Ferris Bueller's Day Off & Animal House

Date/Time January 31 st, 7:30 pm

Location

Sponsored

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31,1997 • T H K N I I H I Hi RKII'.HE • PAGE 15

ANNOUNCING THE ULTIMATE MAGAZINE

Pt^uZlO mzs.ooo

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Visit us on the internet at www.perfect-10.com

Norm Zadeh, Ph.D., Publisher

INSURANCE V l l V «

^

"Proudly serving tbe University ofMiami Community, conveniently located near campus."

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OFFICE: 3 0 5 - 6 6 6 - 2 9 2 1

A IT T O E S P E C 1 A l I s I

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The Center for Family Studies in the Department of Psychiatry is hiring Computer Programmers/Management Information Systems Specialists. Temporary half-time position or full time position available. Competitive salary based on experience. Full time position also pays fringe benefits including tuition remission. We are seeking someone to assist in the devel­opment and maintenance of data bases for several large scale social science intervention research projects. Responsibilities include analysis, design and programming of data base structure, data entry screens, and report generat­ing functions, testing systems, training users and maintenance/trou­bleshooting of application. Experience programming in relational data base languages; Oracle, Informix, dBASE is required, experience with FoxPro is preferred, but not required. Excellent verbal and written English skills required. EEO/AA.

Please send resumes to:

Manju Mehta Center for Family Studies

1425 NW 10th Ave. 3rd Floor Miami, FL 33136

EycCarc The Employee Benefits Office is pleased to announce that

DB. LLOYD SCHNEIDER, the UM Care optometrist, has moved to a new location and now offers a full service optical with discount rates for all UM faculty, staff, and students.

7430 Red Road South Miami, PL 33143

662-9300 UM Care members and their enrolled dependents may obtain

an eye exam for a $10 co-payment. Regular eye examinations Include a complete dilated retinal exam

Other University community members, Including staff, faculty and students who are not members of UM Care may receive the same service for $40. Dr. Schneider offers a substantial UM discount on glasses and contacts.

UM Care members do not need a referral from their primary care physicians to obtain an annual eye examination.

Courses Everyone Can Enjoy.

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Turkey

Ten Vegetable Soup

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2 0 % DISCOUNT on Glasses & Contacts for ALL Univ. ol Miami Students & Employees with Proper I.D.

Give our Optical Services a Look*

MedPartners Eye Associates now provides Comprehensive Optical Services at 4 Locations

• Complete ty* M M by a board certified ophthalmologist

• licensed optician trained to help select eye wear right for yon and your budget

• Contact lenses • Convenient hours • Quick turnaround

Trust your next eye exam and optical services to MedPartners Eye Associates.

Optkiaas.- AM Cepero, Moako Salazar

Deering Optical Department 9299 S.W. 152nd Street • Suite 101 • 3 0 5 / 2 3 2 - 6 3 0 3 Hours.- Meadey - Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Sunset Optical Department 5950 Sunset Drive • 3 0 5 / 6 6 1 - 8 5 8 8 Hoars: Meadey • Friday 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Homestead Optical Department 151 N.W. 11th Street • 4th Floor • 3 0 5 / 2 4 2 - 3 5 6 1 Hoars: Wednesday 9 a.m. ta 121

West Flagler Optical Department 8410 W. Flagler • Suite 201 • 3 0 5 / 2 2 0 - 7 5 5 5 Optometrist: Btlurd Myers, O.D. • Hoars. Moadoy • Friday 9 e.m. te 5 p.m.

jnnr iWiafe M€DPRRTN€RS €V€ ASSOCIATE A f l l " ^ " W SUraGtrW AND DtSCflSe Of TH€ €V«

^**__mtt^ Focusing on South Florida

A. lames Seal, M.D. • Bart R Ketover, M.D. • Ann E Ballen, M.D, • Maria L Ariano, M.Q • Mare E Bosem, M.D.

irles I. Kaiser, M.D. • Julie L McCarty, M.D. • Gustavo Coll. M.D. • Robert A Middleton, O.D. • Richard Myers, O.D. . -*, T

NOTICE TO POTENTIAL VICTIMS OF DISCRIMINA­TION AT KENDALL HOUSE APARTMENTS, MIAMI,

FLORIDA.

On November 19, 1996, the United States District Court for the Southern District of Florida entered a consent order resolving a lawsuit brought by the United States Department of Justice against the owners and managers of Kendall House Apartments. The lawsuit alleged the the defendants had discriminated against black persons and against families with children under the age of 18 who sought housing at Kendall House Apartments. Under this consent order, you may be entitled to receive monetary relief if, after August 1, 1990, you applied for, asked about renting, or rented an apartment at Kendall House Apartments (pictured above), an apartment complex located on SW 72nd Avenue in the Kendall area of Dade County, Florida and:

1 . You were denied an opportunity to live there because of your race or familial status (having children under age eighteen) or that of someone who would be living with you; or

2. You were falsely told that no apartments were available because of your race or familial status (having children under age eighteen) or that of someone who would be living with you; or

3. You were a student and were denied an opportunity to have another person cosign your lease because of your race or familial status (having children under age eighteen) or

4. You were otherwise discriminated against on the basis of race or familial status (having children under age eighteen) in connection with your occupancy at the Kendall House Apartments or your attempt to rent a unit there.

If you believe you have been discriminated against because of race or familial status at Kendall House Apartments, or if you have any information about persons who may have been discriminated against there on the basis of age or familial status, please contact the United States Department of justice at I-800-896-7743. You may also write to:

United States Department of Justice Civil Rights Division

Housing and Civil Enforcement Section PO Box 65998

Washington, DC 20035-5998

NOTE: You MUST CALL OR WRITE NO LATER THAN APRIL 4, 1997.

1 f ,

UJ THE MIAMI H I R R K A l FRIDAY, JANUARY 31J 997

The Classified Section is the fastest way to reach 10,000 people on this campus.

To place a classified ad in The Hurricane call our office at 284-4401 or come by UC 221 during

regular business hours.

Announcements lnlern.ition.,1 Sludents DV-t GfWM M PtqpHR Available. 1-800-7718704

Fall 1997 Om-n1.itii.fi St-iM Appliiatims ,MV dv,,il,,hk' m Whitton Universilv Center, Room 309 st.irtlnft Thursday, lanuary K). Thev aa' due \\M | MDndif February 17 at 9:00 p.m. Call J84-6399 (or more information.

The Wellness (enter is offering CPR i ertitit a tion classes thnxj,yh the American Heart A-.MH i at ion. For more iniormation call 284-LIFE

Kx'linv, stressed OUtf O n I IttaKf { O M Ket a n.assane at the Wellnoss Center DiscOMfe avail.thle tor studenls. Call 2B4-LIFF tor more information

Allenhon all uiwk'rKraduates Inquiry is having University Research Day on Feb I Ith where you can present your research in poster for­mat. Applications are available in the S.T.I.C. (UC 2091. $$$€ash$$$ M M for best presen­tations.

Roommates Roommate Wanled: 2/2 in Kendall, Private Bedroom and Balh $300/month + 1 / 1 utilities. 274-62 38 after 9PM

f em.ile roommate wanted J .60/month + 1/2 utilitu-s ("all Jennifer 274-1776

Roommate needed immt<di,ilely to share 2/2 apartment at the Groves at Sunset appro* 15 minutes from U.M. - $375/month + utilities. Anyone welcome. Call Matt "Twiggy" 273-9537

For Rent AttMt live I lln it'rw y Apartment. Near campus. S l W m o n l h . Tol D66-029I

Furnished Room , A/C «»larm. close lo UM. No cars or Dogs 667-512!

LAKES BV THE BAY 252-2858 LEAVE MES SAGE

LARCF EEFiriENC Y IN QUIET RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR U M OFF STREET PARKING. PRIVATE ENTRANCE $450 /MO INCLUDES LIGHT A N D WATER 666-9175

For Sale

For Rent Private secluded (nitaae Ih / lb on prtajaal esi.it,. .v.nl.iblr Fafaulft. $55(Vmonth im furies rk** trtc .ind w.Hcr 1 Mile irnm Campus orr Miller M

Alir.ir live ettu ieni v .ipdllmenl Near CaMBM $ ISll/monlh Tel ,>l*-0*)23

W H Y PAY RENT when ycxi ran pav much less lo own and build $24,01X1 Equily In I vfarv 2/2 Luxury Condo ONLY 2 BLOCKS from U M ! Also have Awesome 3/2 Penthouse. 1954) 763-7935

two Rooms lor Renl- (lose li) U M Privale entrance, em Insed patio. Harden area, Nic e! Quiet males preierred. 669-4402

'95 G O L D MAZADA 626 4DR 5SPD S125 /MONTH FOR 14 M O N T H S (ABOUT 37,000 FREE MILES REMANING. APPROVAL OE MAZDA CREDIT CORPl OR $1 3,51X1 NEGOTIABLE 252-2858 LEAVE MESSAGE

StlZED CARS FROM $175 P(»sches. CadilW s, Chevys, BMW's, Corvettes. Alao leeps. 4 W D s Your area Toll Free 1-800-218-9000 Exl A-3760 for currenl ltslini<s

MANHATTAN CO-OP APARTMENT FOR SALE BY OWNER. Easl 57th Street studio in doorman budding has seperale kit* ben < ,ir petlng. rentral air Best oiler Call 1954) 927-7767

FURNITURE FOR SALE: EVERYTHING LIKE NEW IBOOKCASES TABLES. COMPUTER ORGANIZER.HALOGENS.AND MORE) VERY LOW PRICES 673-6837

M O V I N G SALE Epson computer, silverware. Onltyo Stereo System, Dishes. Sconce. Craftsman Sander, Halogen Floor Lamp w/ dimmer switch. Wood display box, and more Call 538-5442 for more inlo and pricco.

M B A vi le h i Vila* Honda CB600 F2 94' Brand N,*vv only 1200 miles. Coniact David after 7pm 865-7936

1993 B M W 325b - Black with tan leather inte­rior. Manual transmission Perfect condition Racing Dynamics chip already installed. Asking $22,000 obo. Call lorae al M5-7S33 . Bp. 543-5100.

GOV'T FORECLOSED homes from pennies on $1 Delinquent Tax. Repo's. REO s Your Area Toll Free (I I 800-218-9000 Ext H - 1 7 M lc» currenl listings

Help Wanted EARN $500 or more weekly stuffing envelopes at home Send long SASC to: Country Living Shoppers, Dept S21, P.O. Box 1779, Denham Springs, LA 70727.

FREE T-SHIRT + $1000 Credit Card Fundraisers tor fraternities, sororitites & groups Any ( ampus Organization* an raise up to $ 1 0 0 0 by earning a whopping $5.00/VISA application Call 1-8OO-932-0ci28 ex.1. 65 Qualified callers receive FREE T-SHIRT

Counselors for co-ed Northeast PA. overnight Jewish Federation camp . hours from NYC -general, sports, drama, H i O , & arts. 1-800-973-3866

$1000's POSSIBLE TYPING Part Time At H o m e . Toll Free (1)800-218-9000 Ext T-3760 for listings.

$6-$8CarpeV\Vindow Cleaner Full/Part Time No experience Must be Responsible. 274-9656

THE WAY T O EARN MONEY IS RIGHT LINER THIS HEADLINE. INTERNS AND FULL TIME AGENTS IN INSURANCEMNANCIAL PROD­UCT SALES NEEDED. CALL MAGGIE M O N -TYRE 1-800-3 36-00*0. NORTHWESTERN MUTUAL LIFE.

$1000* POSSIBLE READING BOOKS part time, at home, toll tree 111 800-898 9778 , ext. R-J760 for listings

Want to be successful^ Want unlimited income potential Earn while you learn lo be a slot Iv broker One of the largest southwestern broker­age & investment banking firrmis now hiring < M P motivated individuals to join extensive salary .paid training program. Business back­ground not requested Call Mr Goldstein 954-776-0885. EOE

'BABYSITTING Crxonut Grove lamily M h l warm resixtnstble student with t ar it H sickly w.vkend job. Phone evenings 858-6566

Great Camp M » Available Prestigious ami sleepaway camp in northeast PA seeks coun­selors and specialists in all team & individual sports, horseback riding, tennis, gymnastics , theatre, dance, music, magic, circus, water-front, pioneering, science, & arts & cratts Great salaries and perks. On-campus inter­views on 2/21. Call Island Lake at 800 -869 -6083

Help Wanted N O W H I R I N G : University Sales and Marketing is hiring. Marketing, Sates and Promc)tions positions available. Work on cam­pus, Flexible Hours. Great pay Call 800-562-8524

( hildcare lor girls. Must have car. English as first language Some weekends. 661-2055

Position wanted- Experienced babysitter with t M el len references, available weeknights and weekends »86-3562

M( M'tfl.S- needed by toed photographer for glamour anct figure [xint work. Prior experi­ence not required, but must have a fresh pho­togenic IppaWranot. For info call Dave, 718-9051

Public Relations position available for under­grad or grad student with a growing Fitness firm.. Call 665-9089 Peak Pprt'nrmani e

Mothers Helper: Part time flexible days/hours. NcHxkd to be available after 2. i() pm and must have own car. 661-0108

l a m looking for a handy woman to help me with my life, if you know such a gal pleas*- < all

1 -800 lost-soul

FUNDRAISER- Motivated groups needed to earn $500+ promoting A T M , Discover, gas, and retail i arris Since 1969.we've helped thousands of groups raise the money they need Call Lynn at (800)592-2121 1.174 Free C D to qualified callers.

Tutoring U N I V E R S I T Y OF M I A M I OFFERS T K T PREPARATION COURSES FOR G M A T , LSAT, G R E , MCAT, SAT, A N O CLAST. I N D I V I D U A L T U T O R I N G ALSO AVAIL­ABLE. C A L l 2 8 4 - 2 7 2 7 .

CHEMISTRY 112 REVIEWS WEDNESDAYS AT SEVEN RICH HOCHSTIM 2 7 9 7 6 6 0

RICH H O C H S T I M 279-7660. PRACTICING THE ART OF TUTORING SCIENCE SINCE 1984

Typing

Greek Forum Lambda'Chi- We had a greai imc a. ou mixer. Thanks for everything' Love, D ° h i

Scholars, Leaders, Athletes, ae*d GenHemei Spring Rush PIKE

Spring Rush PIKE 10 more studs.. Enough Sail'

AIL SPORTS- Fveryday low prices: Greek t-shirts $13.99, Group |erseys$21 99 New pat­terns available

Happy 21 at Birthday Carrie

McDonald! c j ^ . Love, Amy and

Nicole \ > AIL SPORTS is now your #1 Greek Store! Stop by fn call 661 -9011 to place an order'

Fall 1997 Orientation Staff Applications are available in W h i t t e n U n i v e r s i t y C e n t e r , Room 209 starting Thursday, lanuary 30. They are due back Monday F.-bruarv 17 at 9:00 p.m. Call 284-6399 for more information.

Personal

PerfectWords 667-3210 Papers/ Applications/ Resumes Reasonable Rates

loon's of single Women, 1000s of single men. Free personal ad Check it out (Exl 58) wwwdateconnection com

Fall 1997 Orientation Staff Applications are available in Whitten LJniversity Center, Room 209 starting Thursday, January 30. They are due b.K k Monday February 17 at 9 .00 p.m. Call 284-6399 for more information.

BAC KROUND SERVICES CHECK -A- DATE The one call that will give you peace of mind. Verify the person you have met. Ideal for dates, roommates & employer $24.95 MC7VISA 595-7912

Remember met I told you I would write... I think you are the woman of my dreams. Wil l you go out with me tonight?

F*e4 the Heat! Help Educate Activists Today! Register now for the AIPAC Regional Political I a.idtrship Training Seminar, Feb. 22-23 at U M ! Hundreds of students from all over the Southeast will be attending! Call Hil lel for more info.. 665-6948

ifsed Policy The Hurricane Classified Policy: Classified ads may brought to our office, room 221 of the University Center, or Mailed to P.O. Box 248132, Coral Cables, FL 33124. No ads wi l l be taken over the phone. Classified ads are to be in by noon Tuesday if they are to run in Friday's issue, and by noon Friday if they are to run in Tuesday's issue. Prepayment is required for all classified ads. Rates are $.25Afvord for U M under-graduates and $ .40/word for all others. The On-Campus rate is only for undergraduate UM stu­dent, Faculty and staff. All advertising under this rate must be non-commefcial in nature. Special layout or placement of ads is not guar­anteed, nor are cancellations or changes of copy after deadlines. NO refunds will be given if ad does not run on scheduled date. Ad will Run on next available date. In the event of an error, we are responsible for the first incorrect insertion, if and only if, in our opinion, there is a loss of value. In this case, no responsibility is assumed beyond the cost of the ad itself. Identification REQUIRED in order to place an advertisement.

Valrntines Day is rnmaiKJ and .iiMxit \t«i Vim an ina svswiesi. cootnl mod •.'twf'iuu*. **iri I have ever kriuv 1 low vim Stgnrri | A B

WE'LL ERASE YOUR COLLEGE LOAN. If you're stuck with a student loan that's not in default, the Army might pay it off.

If you qualify, well reduce your debt—up to $55,000. Payment is either yi ofthe debt or $1,500 for each year of service, whichever is greater.

Youll also have training in a choice of skills and enough self-assurance to last you the rest of your life,

Get all the details from your Army Recruiter.

594-8558

ARMY. BE ALL YOU CAN

INSTRUCTORS Summer Employment

Outstanding 8-week girls' camp in Maine needs female and male counselors for the following activities:

•Dance •Pottery •Fine Arts •Newsletter •Arts & Crafts •Silver Jewelry •Copper Enameling •Photography •Video

•Secretarial Positions also available Red Cross Lifeguard Certification (LG) or equivalent

required for all waterfront positions Excellent salary • Travel Allowance • Room/Board

Laundry • Uniforms & Linens Provided

*7iifrfr a&tttie (}*mfr

P»t<t*«C, Waive For Application & Interviews call: 1-800-997-4347 or

1-800-580-6999 anytime

•Tennis •Swimming •Waterski •Sailing •Canoeing •Kayaking •Outdoor Living •Ropes/Rocks •Gymnastics

•Horseback Riding •Softball •Basketball •Soccer •Lacrosse •Field Hockey •Goll •Archery •Nanny

D e M O N T F O R T U N I V E R S I T Y

S C H O O L O F D E S I G N A N D M A N U F A C T U R E

L E I C E S T E R U K

I

One Year Master's Degree

MA/MSc Design and Manufacture

All design areas available including: C O N T E M P O R A R Y D E S I G N

C O R P O R A T E C O M M U N I C A T I O N S INTERIOR D E S I G N

P R O D U C T D E S I G N MULTIMEDIA D E S I G N

G R A P H I C D E S I G N F A S H I O N D E S I G N

C E R A M I C S / G L A S S JEWELLERY/METAL3MITHINQ

D E S I G N M A N A G E M E N T AND MANY, MANY M O R E

For over a century De Montfort University has maintained ib leadership in the education of professional designers.

FOR COMPLETE INFORMATION WRITE TO: Da Montfort Unlvaralty

US Information Office PO Box 39117 Baltimore Maryland 21212

Tel. or Fax 410-889-1384

» DB MONTFORT

UNiva-Remr

WELCOME BACK UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI

14- wltn 8 sttces

! LARGE ; CHEESE PIZZA : ONLY $ 4 . 9 9

a* rax

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UNIVERSITYIHUn . AfJd , „ ^ 6 7 0 1 BIRD R D : of Breadsticks

669-8800 Housr of operation when ttae u of m Is In aeeakta MONDAY - THURSDAY: 11AM-12 30AM FRIDAY ft SATURDAY: 11AM 1 30AM

SUNDAY: 11AM-11.30PM Orrvers delwa* to limBsd * m s and carry teu lhan $?0 m cnonijaT

i Mega Weeks : TWO Large „, ! 1 TOPPING PIZZA !OIMLY$- |0 0 0

14- with 8 Slices

I I tJtl>IMS2<S/9J laOUMI • coupon necessary lor rjurrnasii

valid at 6701 aro M O M Y I Hot .-tn armi anv ottsfrr uetfrt ot Otstount' | MOoonat roDptngs t i n

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MPJTj&b

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Available in original hand tossed or thin crust

aVt t r rP lzaa .

I eweis J/V97 no uerr a Couoon iMMsarv tor ourcnase

•awatsimaifaiiioaii.r I laMiiaMiirmai!»oi3*ro#m«i»scoui*s I jumurwtorono j tan

vatw tor aet*jgi> or camrout

fCQaauat

htfOfeto U r t t r r Plata

P A P A J O H N ' S IS A M E R I C A ' S F A S T E S T C R O W I N G P I Z Z A C O M P A N Y

E X C L U S I V E C E L E B R A T I O N O F F E R S

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4 U. Capture* t h * N i k e Spir i t C o n t e s t Winners! You may be the grand prize winner of $1,000! And even if you aren't a winner, you should still check out these awesome photos of students who "just did it."

U. VIEWS 5 U. Mail, poll questions and a token male's inside scoop on the female species.

QUICKIES 8 Campus anecdotes that'll leave you potry-trained, burped and fed.

U. NEWS 9 Find out why srudenrs are suing for real degrees, burning up over an incineraror and running

scared from magazine salespeople. For rhe snorter artention span, there's The Buzz, Bits &C Bytes and our Sites for Sore Eyes.

U. LIFE 1 2 O f f b e a t / S p o r t s of All S o r t s

Think golf isn't a rough sport? The new wave of wacky sports has students going to extremes.

1 2 in-Play / B a c k In t h e S a d d l e Football is for wimps. Try strapping yourself to a horse and getting trounced around for a while. Or just read about the real, live rodeo students who do it for school.

1 3 E tc . / T a n g o a n d C l a s s Strap on your boogie shoes. Students swing into classic dance fever with ballroom dance.

13 Do l la rs / H a r e S h e C o m e s , M i s s A m e r i c a Trading looks for books? Students in beauty pageants are cashing in on scholarship money.

14 Home / This Old Houss Co-ops — the '90s student's version of communal living.

1 4 C l a s s / T h e Writ ing o n t h e S ta l ls Want to deconstruct college bathroom graffiti? A grad student gives us the poop on "latrinalia."

FEATURES 15 P r a n k s A Lot

II crank calling is your idea of funny, check out our collection ofthe best college pranks. These timeless classics have made legends out of students with too much free time on their hands.

21 Whine and Cheez Wlz Somebody should have told these wannabe crooners to stick with their day jobs. Find out how Dr. Spock, Traci Lords and Jerry Springer rate on U. Magazine's cheez-o-meter.

COVER STORY 16 Play N i c e

Student-athletes arc gaining more notoriety for their police records than for their athletic prowess. Studies show that athletes are the main culprits behind sexual assault and other misdemeanors on campus. Who s to blame? Everybody's pointing fingers, bur only a few have answers to the growing problem of athletes and crime.

R + R 1B R o c k

The latest from Britpop's Sneaker Pimp, plus Pocket Band, Our Picks and the U, radio chart.

SO R e e l Old faces in new places, plus Reel Deal and a Screen Saver on the ver)* kitschy Hotel de Love.

2 2 Contes t s Wanna win big money? How about a free concert at your school? Turn to our world-famous contests page now!

WRAP 2 3 P o o r S p o r t

Not everybody loves a nur — a sporrs nut, that is. A student ponders the phenomenon of over­sized men in undersized uniforms slamming into each other for this thing called "sport."

QUEST EXPERT: RuPaul

Supermodel RuPaul helped bring drag's campy, vivacious society of feather boas and attitude to the runways of Paris, the silver screens of Hollywood and the vocabulary of Middle America. He works it in A Very Brady Sequel, hosts a VH l talk show, proves the pen is mightier than the mascara wand in an autobiography and struts his stuff for top designers. This 6-foot-7-inch diva is fierce! (See the full interview at http://www.umagazine.eom/u/rocks.)

COVER P H O T O BV BARRV S C H W A R I / . O R H I O N STATE U.

Try rodeo tor the realty big buckm.

Page IS

Prank*torthm memoriae. Page IS

diving new maanlng to "today* lineup."

Page 16

Campus Shots

How to get a hoad-ruah on tha way to clam*.

P i m m BV Ll'slAi in III IMI IIM1

NoRiHiASitRN V.. MASS.

m™ 8 F.C.INNINC, LAST AUGUST, U. ASKED vor TO CRAB VOUR

camera and Capture the Nike Spirit — those unfor­gettable experiences in sports and everyday life — and tell us about the Nike spirit you captured. You Just Did It!

U. readers sent in thousands of photos of people doing jusr about everything in their Nikes. Your entries were awesome, inspiring, funny, creative and very, very cool.

Ll. and Nike are proud to publish the $1,000 (Jrand Prize winner with Nike's national ad.

To see more entries, check out our web sire at htrp://www.-umagazine.com.

SZSO Third Prize Winner: Jomh Levy, U. of Wlmconmln, Madiaon "In Orand Teton* National Park — my frlenda ara walking on tha top tight of tha awooah."

StSOO Second Prize Winner: Jaaon Wlanar, Rutgers U. "Skydiving with Dave atrapped to my back."

_Vaat°m_Za~uZ2ZHZ*. W'"?°rs "rlatlna McOougald, f^Lfj^IiZZ^'' "Jumping Into tha waterfall at Canajoharle Qorge."

4 U . IVIa|);a-»-.ine • J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7

VIEWS

O L A A D y o u w r o t e

I wholehearudK agiec with wmi

anule tin ga\ IHwtlIII innrt'M- 041 I

campuses |"Sir,iighi Hut Nm Narrow,"

Nov, 1996]. li il important the gay, les­

bian, bisexual and transgender lommu-

nuv finds .1 place to feel comferuble.

Julie Dr ist oil, senior.

Dent so n IK, Ohio

Thank roti foi addressing the t l i

111,1k' on CunpW tm those with alter­

native sexual identities One coinpo-

fn 111 nt WKUml idennty that ilu' article

doesn't rtC0$PJ« is tlu- transit ndet

community — individuals whose gen-

dei 1 tit nu lKa i i on is i m o n g i i k i H to

thai ot their biological sex. On tain

across rhe nation, transgender

men and women experience just as

mui li homophobia lor, mort IB

tal ly, transphobiat as pays, lesbians

and bisexuals in

part because they

challenge the West­

ern gender system.

Nicole Taylor, senior, .0 chair.

University Bi and Transgender Com­

munity, V. of Min­nesota, Minneapolis

Your sidebar on

gav-tricndlv si ioOH

("Now for the Bad

New,,'' Nov. 19%1

listed Washington

State U. as "stuck

in the Dark Ages"

but nude no men­

tion that there was

also a "earning

out/gay prid*

in Os toher. In

addit ion, the < r.iv,

I 1 shun , Bisexual

and Allies program

is a recognized stu­

dent association

,1 W S U . As

tor 1 lie furor over

our mascot, I'm

sure i l Butch the

(.niig.11 111.ui hn) in an ami -abortion

ral lv, an etju.il numbei nt people

would he upscl.

Ryan ford,freshman,

Washington State V.

S o u t h e r n p r i d e

As iln- sun nt 1 siMiiliif 11 Virginia

farmer, I wai canard when RMM moron said in vour poll [ "U Polls," Nov. 1996]

that he only cats nu.n hfnHftf segcuhlcs

promote agriculture, which pminnio

Southern living, which promotes stupid

itv. I ,ni!i to dumb ass' Baek otl the

track pipe1 When does he think he .1 bt

tochty il ihe farmers went on strike? No

CJDCSofl tot ilothcs, no w p tables, nti leetl

to fatten the animals, no tOOaccn toi 1 ig-

arcttcs, no irees 10 make paper - the

end ol humanity.

Shep Hudson, sophomore,

Virginia Tech

U. Rolls If you won tho lottery, would

you quit achool?

Hava you taken an HIV toot?

BOO/BU-VIEWS . 6 8 B - 4 3 9 7 J

IU.USTMT10N its r m 1 H I , BAI 1 STATE V.. IND .

CUtPCt t-S-S Vou LoovtmG fsTi/J ^ I - 'K Os*T OF &o,t.ev>.s //J

£ YOU KNOW W l * A COtLEGf S T v ^ l T ^ BECAO&E Y o u t^EEO UNOERVlCAa

L e a v i n g p o w e r Regarding the Ireshman retention

•tory ["Stejriflf Power," Dec. 199*1: I think a hue pan ol the problem with voting people leading sol lege is that too

main people go only because thev think

lhat s what they're supposetl to do. If

people would think for themselves

instead of blindly following the man­

dates of society, llus might save them­

selves some money and time. I xperi-

encing the working world tor a few

yean after high achool was one el the

best experience! I ever had. When I

fmallv went to school, I tiulv wanted to

go tor nnscll

Mike Hurst, senior, U. of Cincinnati

D r e a m o n . . .

Thanks lot ihe poll on i tudent i '

holiday wishes ["Holiday t i i f t Wish

last." Dec, 19961. But theft is one glai

mg oinisMtin; someone to write all ot

in\ papers and take all of my exams,

I've got 33 pages worth ot term paper

waiting to be Written in the next four

d.ns and what am I doingr Reading

your tag! Thanks tor a worthwhile pro­

crastination fool

Beth Mayer, grad student,

V. of Dayton, Ohio

Fil l I n t h e b l a n k s

Tm writing about It You're Pissed,

Tress One ' IQuick.es. Dee. 1996], Can

y_u re_d this s nteiue? Sure, Anyone-

can. It 'a a prychological phenomenon,

the h u in a n m i n d

Tills in the blanks

So what's the point

ol using t king?"

What purpose do

the blanks serve?

Titk a suit ot i In

fence: I f you're

going to censor,

then censor.

Maybe a nice

"word censored to

keep our asses out

ot trouble" flag in

pen <<f the offend

ing word. It you're

not going to cen­

sor, don't. After all,

everybody needs a

good "ifword cen­sored to keep our astes out of rrow^/c/ing" once

in a while.

Jeff Wilder,

freshman,

U. of Kentucky

(.ollege oflMw

SHOWING)

Should g a y m a r r i a g e s be

legal? Ymm: 7 * %

MO: ma «*

We're all made lhe same, and ir shouldn'r make a difference whether you prefer to dale someone of the vim, six oi opposite ant, When rhts country was founded, it was founded under rhe goals ol freedom and equal-ity ioi evervone — not just straight people Evan Lyons, Ireshman, Mur­ray State U., Ky. • I..n marriages should noi he legal because ilu Isiblc says homosexuality is wrong, ii you're gay, 1 don'r even rhink vou should icll anyone. Aisha Gibens, Ireshman, Indiana State U. .Yea, oaacratai aea pie have a had image ot the gay Ittcstvlc. IK making gay marriages legal, it would force- people to have stronger commitments and would gain ihem more raapact. Melissa First, sophomore, State U. ot Naw York, Albany • Ya, I U ih.n nai

nagc should IK- between ,inv two peo­ple with a .none, conimiimcul Ryan Taxless, sophomore, Penn State U. • I It .nnrsc u.ts* and lesbians should bt* BM to marry each otaa t I lie-, ie naN .is norm.11 .is a moot- else Jason Roberts, senior, State li. ot Mew York,.

Ath le tes -should they be g iven specia l

t r e a t m e n t ? Ymm: -ta%

No: 7 1 %

It s hard to fir your aihletic schedule with your academic schedule li s nei esaary lhat we get some special itr.it ment, like advance scheduling tor classes, hut I don't ihink we should get extraneous things, like cars. Maine withheld, lunior, U. ot Georgia • ihev should be at ihe universilv lot iheir skills in the classroom. It s not fair that someone should gei into school above mc just be lul l ihes cm play a berrer game- ol tennii Jenny Humowlecki, sophomore, Illinois Wesleyan U. • No. athleiei should look at their role as a 40-hour-a-weck job. 1 work 40 hours a week, and I don't get special treatment. Alex Jeckovtch, grad student, U. ot Neva­da, Las Vegas • I'm not an athlete, bul f see hovs i i iu . l i tunnel tho bring into rhe univeisity. and il's stu­pid that they don'l see an* ol it It • like asking them to work ovcrnmt every week. Ihev diouid lx- paid inr every hour rhey praaue and tliei should get pari ol the revenue the)

bring in Lilian, grad student, Louisiana State U.

Attn: Guys Much like the cultural anthropologist who spends months coexisting with a

strange foreign tribe, I have spent the past eight months living with female room­mates and working with an all-female staff. In that time, I've learned their ways, discovered their secrets and, I believe, been accepted into their culture. Fellow guys, allow me to share some of my findings.

One: Women discuss sex and bodily functions in far more detail than you can imagine. You know how your girlfriend implores you not to talk about your sex life with your friends? That's because she does it with hers and assumes you do the same.

Two: Women are much more varied in their attractions than you think. There are no hard and fast rules as to what type of guy women will like. Frequently, they're downright inexplicable. A Tom Cruise type will walk in. "Bad haircut," say the women in unison. Then Steve Buscemi-on-a-good-day strolls past and it's "Hot! Hot!"

Three: After meeting a guy, women not only discuss him, but they are very harsh critics. "He's too short." "His eyebrows are too thick." "Too eager." "His joke was dumb." Are you insecure about something? Trust me — they know. They've discussed it. They've voted on its importance.

Finally, confidence is everything, but arrogance is a buzz kill. Legitimate confi­dence (you will be tested!) will overcome most shortcomings, but if you cross that fine line into stuck-up land, you can plan on sleeping alone.

Good luck, fellow adventurers, and be careful — it's a jungle out there.

By James Hibberd, Assistant Editor

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•MSRPs include destination and $1,000 rebate, exclude tax. ^Always wear your seat belt.

NOT NECESSARILY THE NEWS Georgia Tech

The slaving student editors at The Technique have no th ing to

write about, and no one to wri te it. The headline for an Oc t . 18 story read "Lack o f staff members reduces student newspaper to runn ing, wel l , n o t h i n g . . . . " The story's wr i ter was listed as Space Filler M a n . For hal f a page, four sentences were repeated over and over and over and , wel l , you get the point. The paper read: "You must jo in The Technique. I f you do, you w i l l get free pizza. I f you don' t you won ' t graduate. O k , maybe you w i l l graduate, but you won' t be happy about i t . " Some­one should show Space Filler Man what he could do w i t h mar­gins and font sizes — life would be so much easier.

VIRGIN VAULT OF CASH U. of Arizona

C a l ' l we all just get it on? No t i f 90-year-old Sally Kei th has her way. Kei th, an Arizona alumna, is giving the university $250,000 for scholarships — but she wants them to go only to women who arc virgins. The university is iffy about Keith's requirements. Frank Felix, director o f scholar­ship development, says he oppos­es the sex st ipulat ion because it's not the university's place to die-

7 i ~^m lU.USTKAIIONS BY C A M F R O N l /UN

tate morals. But Keith is deter­mined. She says, " I f I could find one g i r l ... and influence her t o look ahead ... rather than get involved in a pregnancy, that wou ld be something wonderful.** Even i f the university agrees to the scholarship, one important question remains: How exactly wou ld they determine i f the s tu ­dent is a virgin?

I CHEATED, I CHEATED U. of Oregon

L inda Russell, a '62 grad o f the U . o f Oregon, just retired from her 34-year career as a schoolteacher and is 'fessing up. D u r i n g her senior year at Ore­gon, she cheated on a test that she needed to pass in order to graduate. Evidently, the fact that she was a cheater and a role model for l i t t le kids gnawed at her for years, so she came clean. Because the instructor for the course has long since passed

away, the un i ­versity stepped in w i th the d isc i ­pl ine. Oregon

i if t li ia Is could

have taken away her degree, but they insisted she do a wr i t ing assignment instead. She must write to the student newspaper explaining why — besides get­t ing caught — cheating is bad.

HOLY SCHOLASTICS, BATMAN! Northern Illinois U.

Apparently, two NIL) students h.iven i heard that rhe new Batman movie haul already been cast. A classroom ful l of students was left wondering, "Who were ihose masked men?" when Hamul i and Robin look-alikes bounded into tbe room, foui;ht a quick duel, and left i n a Hash, The dynamic duo were students in cheap, plastic, store-bought costumes who slioutcil out the phrases "Where's tbe Batmohile?" and "F ind the Batcavr!"

I

Gimme back my Wet / / /

WHO TOOK MY TOILET? U. of New Mexico

Crisis struck U N M when thieves made off w i th an RA's toi let. The pottynappers' ransom note demanded a 1-pound box o f lard, jar of peanut butter, strawberty cream cheese and one black sock. They signed it "Jerry's Kids." Days later, a second note included a snapshot o f someone on the porcelain hostage w i th his pants down The RA re­portedly vowed, "This guy wil l pay for putt ing his butt on my toi let.** The toilet was found a week later, tee­tering on the dorm roof. The RA wheeled the toilet safely back to his room on a skateboard for debriefing.

TORCHING UNIVERSITY TIES Marshall U., W.Va.

Marshal l President J. Wade Gi l ley wore the same tie every day for a year to p romote the fund-ra is ing dr ive for a new l ibrary. At the conclus ion o f t h e fund raiser, Gi l ley torched the tie — along w i th 499 neckties just l ike it — to commemora te the campaign's one-year anniver­sary. Good t h i n g the year's up — word has it the t ie was one of those skinny, wh i te , waff le-weave pieces circa 1980. Aw, just k i dd in ' . We' re sure he's a very natty dresser.

CARJACKING FOR DUMMIES U. of Pennsylvania

I t looks like someone forgot to read the first chapter o f the carjacking man­ual. A man attempted to steal Penn nurs­ing student He id i leister's car by holding her up wi th a fake antique rifle. H e would've gotten

FRAT TRASH U. of California, Berkeley

When students and professors were granted permission to excavate the forme lite o i Berkeley's Zeta Psi fraternity circa 1920 they unearthed a l i t t le insight into the not-so-genteel lives of the early Homo sapiens jraternn us, a.k.a frat boys, The site for a new wing or Berkeley's School of Law was turned into an aie hacological dig when bulldozers muovered the ground where A t . i j \ i \ bouse ome stood. ^ ^ In the one-and-a-half days punted in excavate ihe .ilea. students found ceramic tableware assorted medic me bottles, dental hygiene produc ts, alcohol and soda honk s A\U\ | bathtub. That's when people called them ^

Homo sapiens '*"*

cleanicus.

away w i t h it too, except for one l i t t le detail : He didn' t know how to operate a stick shift. Before the thief could even say "clutch," police nabbed h im and charged h im w i t h theft, assault and reck­less endangerment. He faces a possible 20-year prison sentence. From now on, he should stick to what he knows.

WHAT'S IN A NAME? Washburn U., Kan.

The extra-credit question on an in t ro psych exam at Wash­burn proved some students are extra ou t -o f - i t . Professor Steven J. Kirsh asked this of two classes Can you ident i fy the first or last name o f t h e professor teaching this class? O f t h e 106 students who took the exam, 32 f lunked the quest ion. Test-takers who knew the p r o f s name scored, on average, 6 percentage points higher than those who d idn ' t . B ig surprise.

SISTER SWISH U. of Minnesota, Morris

When does a triple threat become a sextuple threat? When you're up against Minnesota's women's basketball team. Three sets of sisters play on the team — and they ail play the same posinoiis as their siblings. K i m and Joy Loughry play center, Julie and Laurie Plahn play shooting guard and Kari and Lori Kolhnann play guard. Wei rd .

one uiordl

CWAZY WABBIT! Wesleyan U., Conn.

I heater major Steve Hroiclo spent live* days un campus in a lurry blue bunny suii. Bfoitto wore the costume to classes, meals and even late-night trips to the bathroom — he kept going, and going and ... you get the picture- l i seems he wanted to pr.iciicc the idea o f imnlcrs nig oneself in a role — kind o f a hare-brained scheme, i f you ask us. l i io idn ,,nly u-tnovul thi cosiumc when he was alone. Silly rabbit, school is lor kids!

8 U . M a g a / i i H * • J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7 ' L

fflMEE. Airheads T W O N U T S W I T H A N A T I O N A L

audience. That's how Jack Slater sums up his weekly radio call-in

show, College Talk. Slater and co-host Randy Tan­

ner spout off about all things colle­giate on the hourlong show, and lis­teners never really know what they're going to get.

"We do shows on everything from long-distance relationships and racism to lighter issues like dorm food and roommate rela­tions," Slater says. "But that's the great thing about the show: You never know what students are going

A couple Of talking h&adm.

to call in about. For any given top­ic, you end up with very different opinions within a college and across the country."

College Talk is broadcast by College Radio Network at about 130 schools via college and com­mercial radio stations.

"It's the only show that lets stu­dents participate in a topic on a national level," Slater says. "It gives students a chance t o hear about

what's going on at different campus­es and find out how their school ranks with others on national stories and trends that affect colleges."

College Talk airs Mondays at 9 p.m. (EST), or you can access it live on the Internet at http://www,inter­network.com/crn/crn.htm.

fly Colleen Rush, Associate Editor / Photo courtesy of College Radio Network

Raising a Stink T HE ITHACA, N.Y., SKYLINE ALMOST RECEIVED A

major addition when Cornell U.'s College of Veterinary Medicine announced plans to con­

struct an incinerator — featuring a 177-foot smokestack — on campus to dispose of animal and medical waste. But the red-hot issue met with a storm of protests.

of Cornell's statutory office for capi­tal facilities. "Studies so far have shown no harmful impact on the

Angry students, environmental­ists and residents questioned the incinerator's environmental impacts. The Cornell Greens, a student envi­ronmental group, launched a cam­paign against the incinerator, com­plete with rallies, information tables, speeches, door-to-door canvassing and a candlelight vigil.

Evidently, it worked. Although the incinerator hasn't been ruled out, the university is considering other disposal options.

"I don't think they realized how much opposition there was," says senior and Greens member Katie Fry. "They can't totally drop the issue because Cornell does have a waste-management problem, but now they're headed in the right direction."

Cornell already uses one inciner­ator, but the proposed incinerator would also burn medical waste. Opponents fear toxins would be released into the air. The university insists it's safe.

" T h e incinerator meets all requirements for air and solid-waste permits," says Gregg Travis, director

environment.

But protesters say the findings are full of hot air.

"Incineration is an outdated technology," says sophomore and Greens treasurer Chris I arson. "We want the university to look into oth­er alternatives."

An advisory committee has been established with representatives from the administration, the Greens and other student groups and citi­zens. Headed by a neutral facilita­tor, the group has one year to weigh the options and make a recommen­dation to the board of trustees. Oth­er proposals include composting waste, recycling plastic refuse and

placing n o n -recyclables in landfills.

Although pro­testers hope the project eventually goes up in smoke, the ou tcome pleased more than just protest­ers. Veter inary school dean Frankl in Loew says, "This is a huge break­t h r o u g h . T h e process is now under way in a hcalihv manner."

By Eric Meyer, Cor­nell UJ Illustration by Christopher Moy, California Poly­technic State il., San Luis Obispo

The Call of the Wild THE Al-ASKAN MALAMUTES HOWL WITH ANTI-

cipation as Holly Horton, a senior at U. of Utah, attaches them to the 500-pound sled.

She pulls the release lever, and the dogs bound forward at 15 mph. The team races with silent intensity.

Horton, an architecture stu­dent, has been racing competitive­ly as a musher for five years. Between working full time and attending night school, Horton still finds time to train three times

a week in prepa-

f ^ ration for ^ ^ sprint racing ^ B competitions.

"The best I *J part is when \r you ' re out

there — it's so quiet," Horton says. "We train for 30 to 40 miles a day, and it's a great time to just reflect and get in touch with yourself, nature and the dogs."

Horton owns 1*> muscular sled dogs, some of which have a pecu­

liar taste for squeaky toys. She trusts her lead dog, Vixen, to guide her sled-dog team over icy trails in the Uintah Mountains during competitions. But when Vixen isn't racing, he lunges after defenseless squeaky toys and pulverizes them with his powerful jaws.

"I think Vixen and I have the most in common," Horton says. "When we're working on some­thing important, wc don't want any interference — we get serious, and do it well. But we like to have fun when we're not working."

Horton hopes to eventually participate in mid-distance rac­ing, which is usually a two-day race of up to 100 miles.

Fog closes in around the sled team, blanketing the trees and

streams. The dogs' breath condenses on their furry coats, and soon Hor ton sees only the two dogs ahead of her.

" I t ' s like being on the trail with ghost dogs , " she says. "The white crystals on their coats glitter in the moonlight. It's really incredible."

Mumhod much lately?

By David Anderson, U. of Utah/Photo courtesy of Holly Horton

• Is your brain worth big bucks? Enter the BFGoodnch Collegiate Inventors Pro­gram and find out. Cash prizes are awarded every year in a competition among stu­dent/adviser teams who come up with original, creative inventions or discoveries. This year's contest deadline is June 3. For information and entry applications, call (800) 968-IDEA or check out the Web site at http://www.invent.org/

• Thomas J. Kirk II, a Louisiana man who between 1969 and 1996 granted $36.5 million in useless college degrees to students, pleaded guilty to tax evasion and conspiring to commit mall and credit-card fraud. Kirk ran the unaccredited corre­spondence school, LaSalle U., La. It's affiliated with the World Christian Church — which Kirk founded — and has no connection with La Salle U„ Pa., an accredited school in Philadelphia. Kirk claimed his school was accredited by the Council on Postsecondary Christian Education in Washington, D.C, whose answering machine refers calls to a toll-free line at LaSalle.

Student-Athlete Rituals C o l l e g e s p o r t * a r o p a r t s k i l l , p a r t s u p e r s t i t i o n . C h e c k o u t w h a t s t u d e n t -a t h l e t e s d o t o g a t r e a d y f o r t h e g a m e .

E d d i e C o n t l , f o o t b a l l , U . o f D e l a w a r e Spray (Mints each spake on hia shoos QOM. D a n D u M o u c h e l , c r o s s c o u n t r y . C e n t r a l C o n n e c t i c u t S t a t e U. Must bathe last competitor on tha field to take off his i

R y a n R o s e b u s h , s w i m m i n g , u . o f H a w a i i Eat* Fruity Patties on ttw morning of aactui N a ' S h e e m a H i l l m o n , b a s k e t b a l l , V a n d e r b i l t U . , T e n n . Writes -* of her taammate*' names on her ankle brace.

J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 * 7 • U . M a g a z i n e «**

Mags Attack! "Hi I'M JKFF, AND IF YOU BUY A SUB-

scription to Field and Stream, I get a paid vacation to Tahiti."

Sound fami l iar? Sure i t does. Magazine subscript ion salespeople regularly tour campus areas seeking to divert some of your financial aid their way. But recent allegations o f overaggressive tactics on campuses have stung an industry riddled wi th customer complaints.

O n Sept. 12, 19*>6 a salesperson representing New River Subscrip­

t i o n Service, based in Chr is t ians-b u r g , V a . , approached a w o m a n near the U . of Missouri , Columbia, c .unpus.

" I sa id , ' I d o n ' t w a n t t o buy your magazines,'" the woman says. "And he put his hand on my knee to keep me f r o m g e t t i n g up and sa id , 'because y o u ' r e a f — k i n g whore, ' and spat in my face."

C o l u m b i a p o l i c e have identif ied a sus­pect, but he has m o v e d o n to a n o t h e r s ta te. N e w R ive r

company presi­d e n t T e r r y E t h r i d g e says such inc iden ts are rare.

" Y o u can have a bad apple o u t the re w h o

can hurt all the good apples," he says, adding that he put the salesperson on 30-day probat ion for the incident.

But in a similar case, Missouri junior Jaime Zurheide was about to buy a subscription from a New Riv­er salesperson when she realized the cost was more than she had figured.

"Stupid me, I had let h im i n , " she says. " I said that I c o u l d n ' t afford it. He got very mad, stormed out and slammed the door."

According to the Counci l o f Bet­ter Business Bureaus, direct ( in per­son) magazine subscr ip t ion sales companies garnered 1,503 c o m ­plaints in 1995, ranking these busi­nesses in the top 50 in terms o f cus­tomer complaints.

I n recent mon ths , the charges have g r o w n m o r e ser ious . I n August, three subscription salespeo­ple were arrested for robb ing the home of a woman in Bristol. Conn. A n d in September, two salespeople were charged w i t h beat ing a co­worker to death in Buffalo, Wyo. , after robbing a convenience store.

Caveat emptor!

By Pierrette J. Shields, U. of Missouri / Illustration by Miles Histand, Colorado State U.

Dinner For One... Buck FACE IT. THE WET OF MOST COLLEGE

students isn't exactly what you'd call healthy. C'mon, how much nutrition

can you get from a box of mac and cheese? That's what Elissa Deila-Piana is dents and no food scr-

try ing to teach her students wi th the vices — it is. Meals on the Cheap p rog ram at M i n i m i s ! < 'ollege o f Ar t , Mass.

The program, wh i ch on ly cosrs s tudents a buck, gives t h e m the chance to watch a real meal in the m a k i n g — and eventual ly eat i t . Once a month , students gather at a faculty or student home ro watch a facu l ty member cook a we l l -ba l ­anced meal. The cook o f the nighi teaches studenrs how to prepare the mea l and gives them take -home recipe cards.

Dclla-Piana, chair o f the illustra-r i o n p rog ram, came up w i t h the idea after not ic ing the poor earing habits of her students.

" P o o r n u t r i t i o n has a d i r e c t effect on your performance level in classes,'' she says.

A t most colleges, knowing how to cook isn't vital, but at Montserrat — a school w i th just over 300 stu-

A n d the types o f meals are as varied as the people w h o cook t h e m . I >i l l . i 1'ian.i, w h o tends t o s t i ck w i t h foods f r o m her I ta l i an her i tage, says the novice chefs usual­ly p ick e thn ic dishes for their Meals night.

T h e n u m b e r o f students who par t ic i ­pa te v a r i e s , b u t as many as 60 students a t t e n d e d o n e mea l last year.

" T r y cooking for that," she says. " T h e sound o f food br ings them out ."

Jun io r Becky Rousseau, a f re­q u e n t M e a l a t t e n d e e , says she l i kes t h e p r o g r a m because i t ' s cheap and easy.

Yuntmyl

" I t ' s just l i ke a home-cooked meal for a dollar," she says. "There hasn't been a meal I haven't l iked."

H o w many college-cooked meals can you say that about?

By Melissa Shaw, U. ot North Carolina, Wllmtngton/Photo by Amy Conn, U. of Unas, Austin

Eye In theSaky

S ECURITY CAMERAS

and metal detectors — is this what cam­

pus life has come to? Yes, say officials at schools like

Eastern Kentucky U., the U. o f Vir­ginia, Northeastern U., Stanford U. and the U. o f M a r y l a n d , Col lege Park — all o f which have boosted security in response to campus crime.

In October, E K U school officials insta l led a $200,000 survei l lance system that monitors 95 percent o f the campus.

r i K U junior Raelyn Ponton says the cameras make school feel l ike pr ison. "It's good to have cameras that overlook parking lots," she says. " B u t y o u r every m o v e is b e i n g watched and it makes you feel that y o u can ' t even go o u t for a wa lk w i thout being on camera."

School officials say the cameras arc a necessary precaut ion. " W i t h the campus expanding, it's impossi­ble for campus police to be every­where," says T o m I InoVlllilt EKU's direcror o f public safety.

E K U senior Kellie Davis agrees. "The cameras offer students a sense o f security — especially to female student who have to be our alone on campus at night," she says.

M a r y l a n d and U V A are also instal l ing cameras, while Northeast­ern and Stanford are mandating met­al detecton atcampus functions.

" M e t a l detectors do take away f rom that relaxed party atmosphere, says Keno Mull ings, a Northeastern j u n i o r and p r e s i d e n t o f t he Car ibbean Studenrs Organizat ion. "But i f a fight breaks out , the pros outweigh the cons."

By Kristy Gilbert, Eastern Kentucky U./ Illustration by Tim Skaher, Moorhead StateU, Minn.

f rom the Diploma Mill

A graduate Is suing his alma mater because he believes that get­ting a doctorate was too easy — and| others agree.

James Houston filed a $1 million lawsuit against his former school, Northern Arizona U., alleging consumer] fraud and breach ol contract.

" I simply bought a degree with money and a little bit of seat time," he says.

In 1995, Houston received his doc­torate from NAU and an award for out­standing service to Arizona education, but he says he's willing to return it all in exchange for a degree from a credi­ble university.

"I am a victim of fraud," Houston says. "They sold me a program that doesn't ex i s t "

Houston says the NAU Center for Excellence in Education — or, as he calls it, the Center for Excrement in Education — promises training in the education of public- and private-school students, as well as the role of | government and corporations in edu­cation. But Houston says professors only taught the basics of teaching kindergarten through 12th grade in public schools.

Since announcing his lawsuit, things have gotten ugly. Houston has received death threats, other students | have filed similar suits, the dean of the college has stepped down and several professors have resigned in protest. A. Keith Carreiro, one of the professors who resigned, told the Ari-1 zona board of regents the college has | a tendency to suppress the rights of free speech, independent thought and | intellectual opinion.

"We no longer have leaders in edu­cation," Carreiro aays. "We have bad

School officials maintain that the complaints are groundless and that the lawsuits stem from disgruntled stu­dents not being able to And Jobs. If Houston wins his lawsuit, he says the money will go to a foundation that he formed with other dissatisfied studenrs j and faculty to promote higher stan­dards in education.

By Amanda Henley, U. of Tennessee, Knomrtlle

S t a c y S y k o r a , v o l l e y b a l l , T e x a s A & M U . m . . . m mm_t^__t | i in HI — - .m . . , • 1 nil . •

Brings a sauirea caown wnn ner to maicriea. T o d d F u s n e r , s o c c e r , M u s k i n g u m C o l l e g e , O h i o Puts his clothes on an the sa»

I pair of socks and underwear (washed).

A n t h o n y L o w e n b e r g , c r e w , T r i n i t y C o l l e g e , C o n n . Attar the coach's prerace pap talk give* each rower in his boat a "power dot," which Is either i Spree candy or a sour ball.

V l o k l P o e h l e r , t r a c k a n d f i e l d , N o r t h D a k o t a S t a t e U . Holds the shot put hi her right hand

i shot put in her left hand

I O I T . IV Ia j j ; a - r . i i i e • J a a j n u a r y / F e b r u a a r y \99~7

ByteQjw Cyber Suds « T T " ^ YOU UKE SEX? I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S JUST A

• ^ ^ question 1 ask every stranger I meet. I know its JLaa*J ^ ^ a disgusting habit, but I just do it anyway."

Tha t ' s the opening diary ent ry f rom Devin, a small-town student at a fictitious

Los Angeles college. Her college life drives the p l o t of Devin's Chronicles (http://www.devins.com), one of many seri­al dramas soaping things up on the Web. Since its Sept. lb debut, Devin's Chronicles has had more than 35,000 hits a week.

More than 84 online soaps now Hood the I n t e r n e t . Serials l i ke The Spot (http://www.thespot.com) and The Fast Vil­lage (http://www.theea.stvillage.com) offer the same melodramatic fare as their daytime and prime-time counterparts - torrid tales of love, betrayal, murder and more.

So are Web MVI|VS |UM computer knock-offs o f Melrose Tlace and (ienerai Hospital? Hardly

M O M ivher soaps .ire updated daily and archived. It's up to viewers to decide when and how long they watch. Terr i Chan, a grad student at U. of Southern California.

tunes in to The Spot for two hours a day. " I t 's definitely my biggest procrast inat ion tool at work," she says.

Most electronic dramas offer chat room options for viewers to dish about characters and plots. The Fast Villages e-mai l clique gives viewers the shows gossip before it's posted. And Spot browsers can post com­ments on the Spotboard.

Amy Hewitt, a sophomore at rhe U. o f Pittsburgh, likes the interaction "I usually check The Spot every day. I l ike the Spot-board more than the articles

The direct l ine to fans is also b ig wi th actors, says Kristen Dolan, who plays Carrie Seaver on The Spot. "It's like being able to call up Heather Lockk.u and ask her why she d id something on the show."

By Patrice Robinson, California State tt, Sacra-mento / Illustration courtesy of Devin's Chronicles

Gameboy Tech R ATHER PLAY VIDEO GAMES THAN GO TO CLASS? AT DlGIPEN

Institute of Technology, it's possible to do both. But life at this newly accredited four-year institution is not all fun and games.

"Video games are a $15 b i l l i on industry, so i t s only logical to have a school to teach people how to make t h e m , " says Jason C h u , D ig ipen ' s senior vice president.

The f l e d g l i n g p rog ram w h i c h opens in Septem­ber in Seattle, is modeled af ter a two-year version run bv D ig ipen Corp. i n V a n c o u v e r , B r i t i s h

Columbia . Bu t contrary to the jokes, y o u can ' t ger a master's in M o r t a l Komba t or doctorate in Donkey Kong.

For s t u d e n t s at D i g i p e n , t ime at the computer turns into a bachelor o f science in real­t i m e i n te rac t i ve s i m u l a t i o n . School specialties wi l l include three-dimensional animat ion a n d v ideo game pro­gramming.

The program wi l l accept 100 students the first year. According to C h u , they can land $50,000-a-year jobs fresh out o f school. The tu i t ion hasn't been set, but an early esti­mate is $300 a credit.

Sound good? Don' t th ink of switching majors just yet. Students at Digipen graduate after taking 154 credits in areas typically associated wi th an engineering degree.

" T h e nature of the program doesn't leave much t ime for a social life. Ihev always have to kick us out [of the labs] at night," second-year Vancouver student M ike Ockenden says.

Classes wil l be held 13 hours a day Mondav through Saturday. Six of those hours wi l l be lecture; the rest wi l l be spent t i nke r i ng in labs suppl ied by N i n t e n d o oi" America. The Hnal project is to design an original game for Super Nintendo.

" I would recommend the program w i th the follow ing caution: Programming games is not playing games," Ockenden savs "There's a lot o l theory, math and t ime involved. However, i f you can handle the work and love games, this is definitely the place to be."

By Scott Henkel, Western Michigan U./ Illustration by Christian Hill, U. of Missouri, Columbia

Bits & Bytes • Education takes you a long way — into cyberspace. On Jan. 1, Peterson's,

a college and career information provider, and the Electronic University Network opened the Work) Learning Network (http://www.worldlearning.corn), tha first global virtual education community. It offers credit-bearing and short-term courses. Colleges can establish a custom online campus, complete with student union, bookstore, library, admissions offics, counseling center and lecture and academic halls.

• Want to volunteer, but don't know where to start? With 74 percent ol young adults reporting they don't volunteer for that reason, you're not alone. SERVEnet and Youth Service America want to start you off on the right foot. Check out their new site (http://www.servenet.org) dedicated to matching vol­

unteers with local organizations. It also includes polls, an interactive library and newsgroups.

• i t 's no Bytes Over Broadway, but the first free Internet musical has a clear message. Charles Ortleb and Tom Steele produced more than 100 songs, a script and several cartoons to examine the AIDS epidemic and the search for the truth about the virus. Ths story, partially based on research by a Harvard U. and for­mer Boston U. professor, can be found at http://www.iheaterweek.com

• Many people who brave winter wonderlands quickly leam that hot water and icy objects don't mix — unless they go to Michigan State U. MSU has plastic pipes built into the concrete sidewalk that are tilled with hot water to melt tha ice and snow. A moisture detector and temperature sensor keep track ot when ice and snow are likely to make sidewalks treacherous and — voilal — hot water rids pedestrians ol wipe-out blues.

J o e K r i s t o s i k , f o o t b a l l , U . o f N e v a d a , L a s V e g a s Listens fo No Doubt on the bus on the way to a |

1 Sites for

A Mmn'm Utm http://www.mansli1e.com It it's macho you're looking tor, he's Hw man with aH the answers.

Intammt Fraud Watch http://www.fraud.org Too good to be true? Probably is — especially online.

Omen Rrmmldmntm http://www.csn.net/-nvhand/

Death becomes this grave tour of dsad chief execs.

Whrta Tramh On-Una http://Viilual.union.edu/-spitrera/ trash/ More fun than a night of WWF. Elvis channeling and cheap bear.

Traa* S o u t h e r n Word http://ua1vm.ua edu/~crispen/ word.html A student's decoder manual tor Southern speak.

T h s 'SOa Smrvmr http://wwwJOs.com

the '80s were never this good.

M a u r e e n O ' N e i l l , t r a c k , U . o f D e l a w a r e Eats Twtzzter*.

J o h n B e c k w l t h , f o o t b a l l , T r i n i t y U . , T e x a s Has worn ths sama pah- of

B e n S t u r n e r , t e n n i s , B o s t o n U . Chins out to a relaxation tape on his Walkman, then gets pumped with the Rocky soundti ack.

M a t t S a u k , f o o t b a l l , U t a h S t a t e U .

J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7 • U . I V I a g a y i n c * 1 1

Sports off All Sor ts

SOME COLLBG1 sports make bocce ball look main­

stream. Playing everything from Frisbee golf to intercol­legiate water hockey, nearly 80 percent of college stu­dents partake in the wild world of in t ramura l / recreational sports, accord­ing to the National Intra­mural and Recreational Sports Association (NIRSA).

"We probably look like a bunch of feeding fish,' ' says water hockey player Robert C h u r c h , a grad stu­dent at East Carolina U . , N.C.

A dozen E C U students hit the lap poo l in snorke ls , f i ns and scuba masks every week. Players wield foot-long sticks underwater to whack the puck in to the oppos ing goal, but (ouching the pool floor isn't allowed.

" I t ' s real ly a passing game," Church savs. Only a few people stay down for 15 or 20 seconds at a time."

Most water hotkey clubs are self-supported, but sonic hand together at i l i i r i i i Jkail lC tournaments.

In nat iona l ly organ ized b ike po lo matches, plavers on MMM tain bikes use mal­lets to knock the m i n i soccer bal l toward the goal.

"It 's a fast game, like soccer on wheels," says b ike po lo player M a t t Bennet t , a senior at Califor­n ia State U . ,

Sacramento. " I t appeals to our short American attention span.'

T o avoid collisions, players ride vertically toward the ball and swing their mallets with the right hand onlv

"Every once in awhile, you brake too hard and go flying over the han­dlebars, but there 's no t a lot o f blood involved," Bennett says.

Dim golf , an early '80s fad, is mount ing a modest comeback.

" I th ink it's very creative, visual­izing the flight path o f the disc and figuring out the quickest way to get to the hole," says Shawn Kennedy, a junior at U . o f Connecticut.

Disc g o l f s 4 - f o o t ta l l targets support chain curtains that stop the disc, w h i c h is smaller and harder than a t rad i t i ona l Frisbee. A few campuses have disc go l f courses, but players can set up anywhere w i th about five open acres.

The ult imate alternative college sport is, o f course, U l t ima te . I t 's another disc game sryled after soccer and basketball. But it requires more running, according to Rik Granis, a grad siudent at U. o f Minnesota.

"The re ' s a r u m o r that some where in the country, [Ult imate] has achieved varsity-sport status," Gra­ms says. I f so, that p rog ram is a well-guarded secret.

So when wil l contact kni t t ing hit college sports arenas?

By Matt Johanson, San Francisco State UJ Photo by Brian Atad, U. of Connecticut

Thm n e w f?oo*«o Drlvm

Back in the Saddle

W OULD YOU EN-dure a few bucks to make

some? An impeccable jump shot or curve ball may be the normal way to score a scholarship, but rodeo life is becoming a popular sec­ond job to help pay the bills lor students at schools like Boise State U., Idaho; U. of Montana ; Murray State U., Ky.; U. of Neva­da, Las Vegas; and Weber State U., Utah.

"You just eat, sleep and d r i nk r o d e o , " says M o n t a n a State U . senior B i l l Harr is . " I l 's h e m m i n g more and more o i an athlete s sport. You have to be dedicated to get o f f your rial m i l and go find p ia i l icc."

M o d e m - d a y cowboys a r e n ' t alone in not ic ing the big vollcgi.ite interest in rodeos. Ihe Na t iona l Intercol legiate Rodeo Associat ion

holds competit ions throughout the year and nat iona l f inals i n June. Several colleges have school-spon­sored teams and scholarship funds. James T a r v c r co l lec ted $ 3 0 , 0 0 0 before leaving high school, and he roped a scholarship f r om Eastern W y o m i n g College, where he's now a sophomore.

A n d the men aren ' t the o n l y ones kicking up some dust. A t age 5, T o n a W r i g h t f o l l owed i n the bootsteps o f her professional rodeo circuit parents. When she was ready to saddle up tor college, the early exposure paid o f f in a fu l l r ide to Western Texas College.

"In high school, the only sports I played were basketball and rodeo," says W r i g h t , a sophomore. " T h e only reason I got to play basketball was because there a ren ' t m a n y rodeos in lhe winter."

Most rodeo participants w o u l d agree the spor t requires a lot o f t ime and ef for t . They also invest thousands o t do l lars i n a horse and con t i nuous l y pay for equ ip ­ment upkeep

" I hat hill is ama/nig. You have to put in a lot o l time and money i f you WWU io do well and w in that money baik," Wright atps.

In some w . i w , rodeo is m u c h

more than compet i t i on , l i recsl l i the tree spirited wild West being

h o m e on the range , l . i . livestock and over c o m i n g w i ld ani­mals. Tamer, liar r is and Wr igh t l ike m o i l student rodeo competitors, grew up on ranch es where they learned riding and r o p i n g as part ,>i t he i r wecklv

chores. " I f you havcn'i

been around hors­es all your life, it' i hard to get into," Tarver says.

H o w e v e r , lor u rban i tes who dream o f equestri­an mastery, there are schools thai teach rodeo basks But be forewarned Harris says a four-day lesson could k i c k a $300 to $500 hole in your wa l l e t . But yuu w o n ' t catch these students saying it isn't worth it.

" I 've played all k i n d s o f sports, and there is noth­

ing like rodeo in the whole world, Wr ight says. " I t 's my life."

By Tim Neville, Montana State UJ Photo courtesy ol Andy Watson

HuFaul

Gues t Exper t : HuPaul On r o d e "I love w e s t e r n outf i ts . T h e lift In t h e h e e l on c o w b o y b o o t s m a k e s m e n ' s but ts look real ly hot in j e a n s . "

K e v i n H u d y , s o c c e r , C e n t r a l C o n n e c t i ­c u t S t a t e U . Wets Ms head before he goes onto the field.

D u a n e P o s e y , b a s k e t b a l l , H o f s t r a U . , N . Y . Listens to "How About Some Haidcore" by M.O.P. before

A h m a d J a c k s o n , b a s k e t b a l l , H o f s t r a U . After evaluating a slump in high school, Jackson realized that he was looking at his coach s shoes — black wing ops — before the game. He hasn't tooksd at his coach's snow since.

C h r l s s i P r u i t t , f i e l d h o c k e y , U . o f D e l a w a r e Rubs a bump on her nose three tarries. J o e l l e B a b u i a , b a s k e t b a H , C a l i f o r n i a S t a t e U . , C h i c o Takes a 10-miniite nap before game 1 and plays on an empty stomach.

1 2 U . M a g a z i n e • J a r i u a j r y / F e b r a u r y 1 9 9 7

Here She

Miss America

W ITH VASELINE

on her teeth, Preparation-H

under her eyes and duct tape everywhere else, Miss Anystate steps up to the platform, poses and aims a bright, white smile at the judges before her. Or so you hear.

Each t i m e a pageant is te le ­vised, rumors circulate about the strange things women do to iheir bodies and psyches to w i n . Hut people involved in the Miss Amer­ica pagean t i ns i s t t he p u b l i c -p r a n c i n g - a n d - d a m . i n g - f o r t h e-l rt.wn has changed.

I IK MISS America Organization ottered more than $33 m i l l i on in college scholarships last war. mak­ing it the largest pro\ ider ol scholar­

ships to col lege w o m e n in the w o r l d . That 's appealing enough io attract nearly 6 0 , 0 0 0 w o m e n

— many ot diem college s iudenis

— a n n u a l l y t o compete.

" In the L 9 M and ' 6 0 s , the ideal Miss Amer­ica c o r r e l a t e d w i t h the H o l l y ­wood g lamour , ' says L e o n a r d H o r n , president and C E O o f t h e M iss A m e r i c a O r g a n i za t i o n . H e says most o f tbe par t ic ipants are now col lege s tuden ts . " T h e ideal today is a w o m a n w i t h substance and w i s d o m w h o cares abou t

something other than herself."

Miss A r k ­ansas M e l o n i e M c G a r r a h , a j u n i o r at U . o f C e n t r a l A rkansas , says M i s s A m e r i c a has evolved t re­mendous ly over the years.

" M i s s Amer i ca used t o be a bathing-beauty pageant. It's now a showcase of young women w i t h high moral standards who want to make a difference in society."

No t everyone sees it that way. McGarrah regularly meets oppoai tion to pageantry — even from the people t-losest io her.

' M v best f r iend doesn' t like-pageants. Bu t she suppor ts me, although she thinks women work so hard to get past being valued just for how thev look, and it doesn't help to have pageants po in t ou t appearance."

Justine Andronici, stall" member of Feminist Majority Foundation in Los Angeles, says that adding the talent contests and interviews to the Compe t i t i on doesn't change the basic premise ot pageants it iust makes theta more paiatahlc to the TV audience.

" W h e n y o u l o o k at b e a u t y pagean t ! i it s abou t who ' s the m o i l a t t r ac t i ve to the oppos i te sex. ' she says.

But Jenn i f e r D r a y t o n , Miss Michigan and I senior at Michigan

don't sugarcoat the pageant — they set it apart f rom others.

"Miss America attracts new peo­ple because i t ' s a scho la r sh ip pageant, and you w in money for co l lege . I f y o u ' r e not g o i n g to school, the money doesn't do you any good."

Drayton also savs today's beauty i]uccn isn't what she used to be.

"Peop le w h o d o n ' t k n o w tne are s u r p r i s e d w h e n we meet because thev have a stereotype o f a beauty queen, and I d o n t f i t that. I 'm very relaxed and laid-back, and they expect someone who ' s p r im and proper."

But there arc st i l l i nd ica t ions that the whole idea is a l i t t le weird. Consider this piece of advice Dray­ton got: "Someone told me to eat a bowl o l vanilla ice cream before the swimsuit competit ion. It's supposed to make your skin glow."

By Melissa Grego, Assistant Editor / Photo courtesy of lhe Muskegon Chronicle

*

Ouest Expert: RuPaul On beauty p a g e a n t s : "I ' l l b e t b e f irst t o s a y I love t h e human body. M a n or w o m a n

e v e n if t h e y ' r e 4 0 0 pounds — should ce le ­b r a t e l i fe, t h e m s e l v e s a n d beauty . "

On bal l room danc ing :

iffy d r e a m p a r t n e r s would b e Antonio B a n d e r a s , M a t t h e w Modine a n d Antonio S a b a t o Jr ."

Stale U lhe pal

Tango

All ROOM DANC-

ing isn't just for dusty old gee­

zers anymore. While the Macarena was just a pass­ing trend, the waltz is here to stay. So's the mambo. And the tango. And the fox trot. And any other ballroom dance you can think of.

M a n y colleges of fer ba l l r oom and swing dance classes, and some even have b a l l r o o m dance teams tha t part ic ipate in intercol legiate competitions.

"Bal l room dance is a wonderful combinat ion o f exercise, poise and p e r f o r m i n g a r t s , " says N a n c y Rapoport, who coaches the 30-mem-ber dance team at O h i o State U.

Donna Medrano, who init iated a similar program at the U. o f Neva­da, l-as Vegas, eight years ago, says the sport stresses the coed appeal. A l t hough experience is not neces­sary, Med tano looks for students who work we l l w i t h one or more

p a r t n e r s , have a g o o d leel f o r r h y t h m and can q u i c k l y pick up dance steps.

H a n s Gonza les , a senior at U N L V and the reigning U.S. Inter­collegiate American Rhythm Dance c h a m p i o n , became interested in ballroom dancing after taking a t r ip home ro tbe Philippines.

Gonzales says he also likes the non threaten ing atmosphere of danc­ing as a sport. " I f you go up to a girl in a c lub and ask her to dance, she automatically thinks you are trying to sleep w i th her."

N t o b e k o N t u s i , a j u n i o r at Haverford College, Pa., also started his ba l l room career outside of the U n i t e d States. A native o f South Africa, Ntusi 's parents began taking him to dance class at age 6.

A l t h o u g h H a v e r f o r d doesn ' t have a bal lroom team, Ntusi pursues the sport independently, practicing about 20 hours a week.

O f cou rse , n o t al l b a l l r o o m dancers are in it tor the competit ion.

" M y boyfr iend and I took a ball­room dance class just for something d i f f e r e n t t o d o t o g e t h e r , " says Heather Harr is , a jun ior at Grove City College, Pa.

And lor students who th ink ball­room dancing is a litt le too formal, sw ing d a n c i n g is also m a k i n g a comeback.

At B r i g h a m Y o u n g U . , s t u ­dents get in to the s w i n g o l t h i n g s w i t h t he S w i n g K i d s dance c l u b . U p t o 6 0 0 s t u ­d e n t s d o n t h e i r best 1940s duds e v e r y S a t u r d a y n i g h t to feel the beats ot b i g band music. Sophomore Jenni fer Gale savs she isn't surprised at the huge n u m ­bers who attend.

" T h e w h o l e swing stvle is reallv l o w key — anv t h i n g goes, ' i h t s.i.s It's tun , and the mus i c is addict ing."

Everybody cut foot loomo.

By Siuzanne Stewart, Marietta College. Ohio/Photo by Spencer Young, U. of Utah

K e l l i C o r d r a y , v o l l e y b a l l . U . o f H a w a i i Wears big bowt ki her hatr during every match.

B r i a n M c G h e e , K a r e e m B r y a n t , d o u b l e s t e n n i s partner*, C e n t r a l C o n n e c t i c u t S t a t e U . Walk onto the court In

ilk off and change into game shots.

M a r k A b e l , f o o t b a l l , D a r t m o u t h C o l l e g e Wears Mack socks on game day and tapes ovtr

N a t h a n M o r e a l l e , f o o t b a l l , U t a h S t a t e U . U c k s h « h a r * b t - t o . *

J a a o n S i s a e l , c r e w , U . o f I o w a Team throws the coxswain in tht water every umt thay win a goM medal.

R u s t y t e n n e r s , f o o t b a l l , S o u t h D a k o t a S t a t e U . Puts pranks — Uke dropping a frog In a I

* to keep the team loose.

J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 199*7 • II . M a g a / i n e 1 3

This Old House

O UR HOUSE IS A

very, very, very f ine h o u s e .

With two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard. Now were in a co-op.

M o r e t h a n 1 0 , 0 0 0 s tuden t s each year look beyond the usual h o u s i n g o p t i o n s ot d o r m s and apartments by choosing to live i n group- l i v ing cooperatives. Co-ops are n o n p r o f i t o rgan iza t ions that provide student housing for about 30 percent less than what it costs to live in a dorrn.

D u r i n g the past decade, more than 1,000 new l iv ing spaces have been created by members o f the North American Students of Coop­erat ion ( N A S C O ) . Abou t 300 o f those spaces are in bui ld ings that used to be Greek houses,

Ihere was a co-op explosion in the 60s when a shortage of student housing and an ami establishment attitude caused students to look for alternatives. Waning interest in the Greek system bankrupted many fra­ternities and soiorities and gave co­

ops an o p p o r t u n i t y t o purchase their houses.

" T h e p h e n o m e n o n o f t a k i n g over dying fraternity houses was the way we got our start," says Br ian Dahlk , financial coordinator of tbe Mad ison Commun i t y Cooperat ive at tbe U. ol Wisconsin, Madison.

S ince Greek houses a im t o house large groups o l s t u d e n t s , t h e y ' r e log ica l spaces f o r c o - o p members to buy.

"Parts of rhe house arc very spa­cious, and we have a huge ki tchen — t w o ovens, six burners and a m o n g o refrigerator," says Keenan Bora, president o f Gregory House at U. o f Michigan. The house was pur­chased in 1993 f r o m the l a u Gamma Nu fraternity.

B u t the s im i l a r i t i es be tween Greek houses and co-ops stop there. Most co-ops accept members on a Hrst-come-first-servcd basis.

"Each member just has to con­tribute five hours ot work a week — things like cooking, cleaning, shop­p ing, maintenance, f inance, neigh­borhood relations and garden ing, " savs Katie Howenstine, a senior at the U . of California, Santa Cruz, and member of the / a m i House co-op.

The sense o f ownersh ip keeps people involved in co-ops, says Kris­ten N i m e l l i , m e m b e r o f t h e Sojourner Tru th co-op at the U. o f M ich igan . " O u r l iv ing s i tuat ion is

direct ly under o u r c o n t r o l , and t h a t

b r ings a feel­ing o f shared

experience and shared respon­sibi l i ty."

H o w e n s -t i n e agrees.

( lo ops very m u c h lake care o f y o u r needs. Y o u pu t i n y o u r work, but you get a lot out o f

i t . Y o u feel sate

By Lara Taylor, U.

of Michigan /Illustra­

tion by Steve

Tenebri-nt, U. of Minnesota

Who n e e d s R e a d e r ' s D i g e s t w h e n you'vm got grmmt Mmroturm like* thlm In thm bmthroom?

The Writing on the Stalls

G ENERALLY, IT'S A

good idea for responsible col­

lege scholars to obey all posted material around campus. This leads to an obvious question: Should you or should you not taunt Cheez-Whiz?

W r i t t e n on a men's res t room stall at Emory U. , Ga., "Please D o Not Taunt the Cheez-Whiz" serves as a creative reminder not to harass certain cracker spreads and is jusi one example of today's college graffi­t i . Chances of locating such scrawl ing on campuses are good, so long as you have eyes and a digestive system.

" W a s h r o o m s seem to be the place college students most often use to express their views," says Jane Gadsby, who researched campus gra f f i t i fo r her master's thesis at Yotk U. in Ontar io , ( an.ula

Most students enter the restiooni wnh only their thoughts; oihers bring a trusry companion, typically a black marker. "I've seen a lot of things you probably can't publish," Gadsby savs

In general , however , she says most " l a t r i n a l i a " is decent a n d sometimes even intelligent.

In her study, Gadsby found graffi­t i ranging from quiet desperation ("I missed a test. What should I do?") to t h o u g h t - p r o v o k i n g vents. O n e response to graffiti asking, "Why can't we get along?" reads. "Because capital­istic patriarchy doesn't allow it."

O f course, there w i l l always be graffit i that's downr igh t bizarre. A women's restroom wall at the U. o f Pittsburgh reads, " I can't stand the Smurfs. I bet they smell

A l t h o u g h des igna ted g r a f f i t i areas are available at some schools ("Graff i t i Rock' at Bowl ing Green State U., O h i o , lor example), most graffiti is still Lonsidered vandalism.

" O u r ph i losophy is to get the stuff off and out of sight as quickly as possible," says Bob Bell , associ­ate director ot operations at the U. of Florida.

His tory , however, suggests thai more w i l l pop up next week. "Graf­f i t i i sn ' t go ing away because the need t o be hea rd is essen t ia l l v human," Gadsby savs

A n d that may be a good th ing. Just t h ink — i f you're not already having a good t ime, you can always refer to the in-stall directory for a list o f those who can help.

By Darin Painter, Ohio U. / Photo by Claudia Ashton, U, of Utah Graffiti compiled by Jane Gadsby at York U., Ontario, and the U. ot Hawaii.

Dirty talk A sampling from college stalls:

• You idiot, turn the other way (opposite wall) You idiot, turn the other way • It I don't get to ... I think I'll become a Buddhist monk • All you '80s disco queens and would-be disco studs who listen to today's

syntho techno '90s style ... I truly pity you. • Noah made a mistake letting people on the ark • Janitor janitor give up hope, I've got more Ink than you have soap • Eat grease. Die young • I love you girl with the blue hair! But you never notice me. "sigh* • Sea is Evil/Evil Is sin/Sins are forgiven/So sex is in • Rage a* Womyn = Power • If you sprinkle when you tinkle, Be a sweetie and wipe the seatte!

W o m e n ' s t e n n i s t e a m , X a v i e r U . , O h i o Kicks a plaque on the ground before taking the court at home

D r e w M a d d u x , b a s k e t b a l l . V a n d e r b i l t U . , T e n n . Plays with a Larry Bird trading card ki his sock.

O l o n n e D o d s o n , b a s k e t b a l l , M u s k i n g u m C o l l e g e , O h i o Doesn't set foot on ttw gym floor urn* Ifs ttme for tta team to toke tos court J a n L o s k o t , t r a c k a n d f i e l d , N o r t h D a k o t a S t a t e U . Walks to the first hurdle before every race, amagkies the race and walks back to tta blocks.

Ryan Rupe, baseball, Texas A&M U. Bsttovse not washing his laggings brings latn took.

S c o t t S m o l l n s k i , s o c c e r , C e n t r a l C o n n e c t i c u t S t a t e U . Kisses at rtikmetd before I

< SSjTSV VfsWsV I t ttaw J U t M .

1 4 U . M a g a z i n e - • J t u i u a r y / F e b r u a a r y 1 9 9 7

The most killer college capers of all time

BY KIRSTEN NELSON iOSTOM U.

It I I S l K A I I O N H, | l S l ! N I n H I N / I N ,

IOWA STATI U.

SARAN W R A P P I N G A

toilet? Too easy. Penny-ing a door shut? Kids' play. How about freez­ing a staircase? Gimme

I break. For the most adven­turous college pranksters, these classic tricks just dont get the adrenaline pumping. You see, every once in a great while, a true prankster comes along — one who aspires to stunts bigger than ducks in a dorm room, more inflammatory than scaring the freshman orientat ion tour and more press-worthy

than defacing the beloved school

monument.

We salute these practical jokers who risk suspension, even expul­sion, to pull capers so daring. And although their names may have been forgotten, their deeds will go down in college history. We invite you to relish their ingenuity, admire their audacity and chuckle at their hijinks. And now, without turther ado: the most killer college pranks of all time.

T o Russia, With Love

In 1953, editors from Harvard's strait-laced Crimson newspaper nabbed the 4-foot-tall bronze Ibis statue belonging to their rival, the wacky Harvard Lampoon. Thieves took the ugly Egyptian bird to New York City and presented it to a United Nations Soviet delegate. The editors said it was a gilt from the Harvard lampoon as a symbol ol the friendship among studenls alt over the world. The Lampoon had to ask the state government to get their statue back from the Reds — er, crimsons, er, whatever.

C h e c k and Mata Some schools have a tradition ot

human mascot swiping — like at Utah State U., where the rivalry between the engineer ing and forestry departments has continued for more than (>0 years. During the '60s, each department elected a king and queen tor their annual ball. These lucky individuals were guard­ed like royalty, as the rivals did their damnedest to kidnap each other's kings and queens.

One year, forestry's queen was kidnapped on the day of the big dance. But when the kidnappers

showed up at the ball to claim their victory, they were in for

a surprise. Unbeknownst to the pranksters, the queen had an identi­cal twin sister who took her place at the dance, leaving the kidnappers more than a little bewildered.

Tha Lady In t h a L a k e

In the '70s, the Pail and Shovel Parry was running the student gov­ernment at James Madison U., Va., and legislating pranks left and right. The party's coup de gnlce came in the winter of '79 when the student government made a campaign promise to bring the Statue of Lib­erty to J M U.

And it did. One morning, stu­dents awoke to the incredible sight ot lady Liberty's head and the top of her torch-bearing arm peeking out over the frozen I .ake Mendota. How did the Pail and Shovel parry do it? The pranksters claimed that the statue was being transported via plane from New York and that it tell trom the sky en route.

Truth is, the devilish Pail and Shovel Party had re-created the giant statue on the lake's frozen sur­face, complete with a 22-foor-wide CfOWatad head. The statue got plenty ot attention, so much that an arson­ist brought his or her own torch to the site and set the l.ady ablaze. But the statue was back the following year — this time in fireproof form.

Erik Rasmussen, who headed the third statue reconstruction a few months ago, notes that the original pranksters were arrested back in '79. Ironically, city officials nominated Rasmussen and his crew for citizens of excellence awards.

"Hopefully we'll get arrested next time," he says. "We get a lot more press from jail."

chusetts Insti tute of Technology-built a mock campus police car on the top ofthe Great Dome, a 150-foot-high building on campus. The cars flashing lights attracted atten­tion even across the Charles River in Boston. When maintenance workers climbed to the roof of the dome to disassemble the car, they found a cop mannequ in with a box o f donuts waiting for them.

The stunt masterminds were rumored to be the Hackers, a long­time shadowy prank organization that , despite being a supersecret mystery, is widely known to meet every Saturday on campus. N o action was taken against them.

Raa l Qanlua Elaborate pranks are the consum­

mate time killer at MIT's West Coast counterpart, California Institute of Technology.

Tom "Saxy" Workman, w h o received his bachelor's, master 's and doctoral degrees from Caltech belore leaving in 1992, witnessed some of the greatest pranks in his alma mater's history.

"Mostly we liked to do pranks to each other," he says. "As a rule, you would never do a prank to someone you didn't like, and you never do anything that's really going to make them mad."

In I9S7, Caltechers decided to have one of California 's mos t famous landmarks reflect the real brilliance of Los Angeles by chang­ing the Hollywood sign to read "CALTECH."

Workman explains that before Caltechers set out to alter history, they carefully measured the letters and planned their actions to mini­mize their chances of getting caught,

Caltechers didn ' t have an easy t ime comple t ing their project , though. ".After they did it and were on their wav down the hill, t be

police were on their way up the hill with sirens," Workman says.

Ruff Break Not alt pranks are well-received.

Building statues and kidnapping humans is one thing, but involve an animal — especially a cute one — and look out!

I he practice of mascot stealing has a nefarious reputation, and many beloved school icons have ended up in the pet cemetery. But even if you're careful about stealing the school-spirit-on-a-leash, you can still find yourself in the doghouse.

In December 1993, U. of Texas, Austin, student Neil Sheffield dog-napped Texas A & M ' s col l ie , Reveille IV, Sheffield was a brave lad: He took the o n e Southwest Conference mascot that had never been stolen trom the most notorious nia^ot-swipers in the South.

I was scared shitless." Sheffield says.

The ultimate prankster nabbed Reveille IV when the dog's handlers let the collie out lor its morning pee. I le kept the dog I week before return­ing it unharmed.

I ntortunately, UT administrators didn't see fhe humor in the stunt. Sheffield was disqualified from run­ning in student elections and ulti­mately pressured into temporarily leaving the university.

The university pres ident denounced it as 'a puerile ac t , ' " Sheffield says.

But many students stood behind Sheffield, and some even took up a collection to erect a statue to UT's most famous prankster. The statue never materialized, bu t then again, some prankster probably would have stolen it anyway.

Kirsten Nelson is a magazine journalism major who finds nothing funny about mean pranks. Nothing funny at all

J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 * 7 • U s M a g a / i n e 1 5

Student-athletes

don't always

have winning

police records

Guest Expert: RuPaul On a t h l e t e s a n d crimi "Put t h e m In jail If t h e y d e s e r v e tt."

BY DAN MILLER ARIZONA S H U II.

PHOTOS BV BARRY SIIIWARI/, OHOOM

NIATIU.

E VER WONDER WHAT II 's

like to be a big-time col­lege athlete? Just think — you get free tuition, fame, the chance to

travel and, of course, the thrill of competing. Those are the pluses.

You also get life in a fish bowl , a bull 's-eye on your back and media hounds on your doorstep if you happen to screw up. And lately many athletes have screwed up.

Big time. The urnual uuupooim: mtuttmnt-mthlmtmm.

S t a t sheet In recent months, criminal misdeeds have pol­

luted the jock departments of colleges and universi­ties across the nation. With a few high-profile schools assuming starring roles in this real-life saga of amateut sports gone awry, college athletics have suffered a significant black eye.

"Left unattended, athletes tend to be in more trouble than the average student," says Art Taylor, associate director of the ("enter for the Study of Sport in Society at Northeastern U., Mass. "I think it's the high-profile aspect of their lifestyle. They've gotten a lot of things lor free."

A 1994 study conducted by researchers at Nor theas t e rn and the U. of Massachusetts, Amherst, suggests that male athletes are more l ike ly to c o m m i t ac ts of sexual v io lence . Resea r che r s reviewed 107 cases of sexual assault reported by internal judicial .titan*. offices at 30 Division 1 schools between 1991 and 1993. They found that male student-ath­letes at 10 of those schools were responsible for 55 percent of reported domestic violence inc idents and 19 percent of reported sexual assaults on campus, despite making up only 5 p e r c e n t of the ma le s t u d e n t bod ie s . Researchers tested their findings by studying 10 other schools at random.

"We think there's something going on that con­tributes to the frequency with which athletes coin mit sexual assault." says Todd Crosset, an assistant professor of sports management at UMass, who participated in the study. "But athletes only make up a fraction of the population. Violence against women is a huge social problem that is patt of every community in our society. We shouldn't scapegoat athletes."

S c o r e b o a r d Still, news of law-bteaking sports stars has

become so mainstream that it's difficult to go a week without seeing an athlete's transgression splashed across the sports pages of your local newspaper.

Consider this laundry list of woes that made news — all on Nov. 6 of last year:

• Seven Virginia Tech U. football players, including All-American defensive end Cornell Brown and starting fullback Brian Edmonds, were charged with beating a member of the school's track team. A grand jury indicted the players, along with a former player, for their involvement in the Aug. 31, 1996, campus attack, in which a sprinter was allegedly hit, kicked and beaten with a cane.

• Boston College suspended 13 football play­ers for gambling, including two who bet against their own school in a 45-17 loss to Syracuse U. lasi October.

• Five U. of Rhode Island football players were charged with conspiracy to commit assault and assault after a criminal investigation into an O. i 1996, attack on three members of the Theta Delta Chi fraternity house.

The U. of Nebraska, the defending two-tiinc national college football champions, and the LJ. of Miami—two of the more high-profile football pro­grams in the past 10 years—have had several image-damaging incidents recently.

Perhaps Nebraska's most prominent brush with the law came in September 1995 when star running back Lawrence Phillips assaulted his former girlfriend.

He was suspended by head coacli I uni I Kborne for six games, later pleaded no contest and was found guilty of misdemeanor assault and trespass ing. Phillips was just one of at least six NU players

whose names have surfaced in police reports in the past two years.

Lee Barfknecht, who has been the N U beat reporter for the Omaha World Herald for the past 12 years, says writing about all of the Cornhuskers' criminal activity has become one big headache.

"Il's tiresome," he says. "You like to cover games. You don't like to covet the police blotter; otherwise, you would've become a police reporter. But you can't ignore it."

At Miami U., meanwhile, no fewer than one of every seven scholarship players on the Hurricanes' 1994 football team was arrested while enrolled at that institution, according to a report in the Miami Heraldin May 1995.

Falling s t a r s Tom Jackson, professor of psychology and direc­

tor of clinical training at the U. of Arkansas, Hayet-teville, says the tash of criminal activity in college sports is sometimes the result of athletes' isolation from regular students.

"They lead a very sheltered, disciplined and focused lifestyle in older to be a Division I scholar athlete," says Jackson, who conducts seminars on sexual responsibility for college athletes across ilu country. "They don't always have the same emotion­ally maturing experiences as the average student."

Jackson's research mirrors that ofthe Center for the Study of Sport in Society. His findings indicate that athletes in competitive, revenue-producing sports are more likely to commit assault than the average student. He says that the "win-at-all-costs" mentality instilled in athletes can carry over into theit dally lives.

"When you have these physically overdeveloped men who haven't had the opportunity to learn the same

1 6 I ' . M a ) ( a / . i n i • J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7

the nastiest players

nieestgujs

people have to draw

i f

"ffnmn «f life skills, it can lead to problems," Jackson says.

Athletes have found that America's passion for sports can be both positive and negative factors in their college careers. Because they are fre­quent ly placed on pedestals, some college stars admit they must adhere to a higher standard of behavior.

Mark Sanford, an All-Conte renee basket­ball player and U. of Washington junior , says student-athletes are more likely to make headlines than regular students.

'We're human like anyone else," he says. "We handle situations just the way any other person would handle them, but because we're athletes, it becomes public raster than if the mailman was doing it."

Isaac Fontaine, a senior All-Conference basketball player at Washington Stare U., agrees.

"We're like the NBA team of the little city of Pul lman [Wash.]," he says. "If we got a speeding tick­et, our picture would be in the paper, and

there would be a big article. If you don't want to be in the limelight in a negative way, then you have to watch rhe way you conduct yourself off the coun."

U. of Florida senior quarterback Danny Wuerf­fel says that whether it s right or wrong, the college athlete is a public figure who must be conscious of those who might be watching.

A lot of kids try to emulate what they see," says Wuerffel, who is also a well-known member ofthe Fellowship of Christian Athletes. "It's not a choice whether you want to be a role model. I think we are role models."

M e e t t h e p r e s s In today's competitive and expanding media,

athletes and their teams are prime targets for inves­tigative reports. The higher a team is ranked in the national polls, the harder it rails when its off-field troubles spill into America's living room.

Violence and crime arc obviously wrong, but 1 think now it's more ol an issue than it was a lew years back," says the U. ol ( Colorado's senior middle linebacker Mall Russell.

Russell should know. Twelve ol his teammates were suspended last October as part of NCAA penalties for improper use ol long-distance tele­phone access codes.

Russell, like many .uhlcics who arc even remote -ly associated with an ofl tht held problem, believes the media may have taken their coverage ot tlu IIR I dent a bit too lar.

I know thai the media do their job, and you iiiiii tault thcin tor thai." ht savs. "Bui |the student-athletes] were voung, and thev made a mistake. I ht) know whal thev did was wrong. I in not sure that incident needed to draw as much attention as it did."

Some officials believe ilie public's thirst tor vio­lence has caused a change in media reporting, thus

hem aa the fie III am

real life. CHAD JOHNSTON,

JUNIOR, QUARTERBACK,

WEST VIRGINIA U.

creating an unfair stereotype ofthe college athlete. "I think that people arc identifying relationships

[between sports and crime] that at this point I'm not prepared to say are accurate," says Frank D. Uryasz, director of sports sciences for the NCAA. "Certainly we're not in denial — there have been some well-known instances."

Adds Taylor: "The No. I thing is that if athletes commit a crime, they are much more likely to be observed than the average student."

M o n e y t a l k s Miami-based super-agenr Drew Rosenhaus says

that perhaps if college athletes in revenue-producing

"If you starr paying college athletes, they're going to start to get a big head..." says Beckwith, a juniof who plays center. "That would make things

even worse.

We a r e t h e champions It's been an uphill battle for students who are

fighting to change the negative stereotype of the col­lege athlete, ("had Johnston, a quarterback and junior at West Virginia I'., says leaving the game mentality on the field is the way to curb violence and crime off the field.

"Some of the nastiest players on the field are the nicest guys off the field," Johnston says. "But some

Dan Miller promises that no athlete,, administrators or coeurm were hurt in the writing of thi, story.

sports like football, basketball and baseball were compensated for their services, there would be a decline in crime.

"A lot of the guys I currently represent feel that it's just a rip-off that they didn't get paid in col­lege," says Rosenhaus, who represents more than 50 current NHL playets. "I think it's absutd that oil lege football players aren't getting paid. That's a huge pan ofthe problem. A lot of guys wouldn't be getting in trouble if they had money. As long as the current system is in place, there will be problems."

U. of South Carolina football player Paul Beck­with disagrees.

people have to draw the line between being on the field and real lite."

Colorado's Russell says the biggest problem is that bad behavior gets attention and good behavior gets ... forgotten.

"People who aren't associated with college foot­ball don't realize that a huge percentage of us are quality guys who are getting degrees and are good citizens," he says. "Unfortunately, that's not news. People don't want to hear about the Rhodes schol­ars or the athletes who are out doing community service. They would rather hear about some guy doing something violent."

Lhselaimer: lhe itudents in these photos are models only. Ihey have not been implicated in any irimes.

While some athletes misbehave and give college sports a bad rap, others try to use their notoriety for a good cause.

Last tall, four Division I football players — seniors Matt Russell (U. of Colorado, Boulder), Chad Johnston (West Virginia U.) and James Hamilton (U. of North Carolina, Chapel Hill) and lunior Paul Beckwith (U. of South Carolina) — participated in national public service announcements denouncing the abuse of women.

Beckwith says he welcomed the chance to be a positive role model.

"I told myself if I ever got in this spot, I would try to give back to the community," he says. "Even If I've helped only one person, it makes it worthwhile."

Ll i Claiborne Inc., in conjunction with the College Football Association and the Center for

the Study of Sport in Society, produced the 30-second PSAs, which aired in college football stadiums across the country.

In November, the National Consortium for Academics and Sports took a zero-tolerance stance against student-athletes convicted of rape, sexual assault or battering. The non-binding resolution states that any athlete con­victed of one of these crimes should be banned from intercollegiate competition for at least one year.

"We hope that with this resolution, schools wil l not allow these athletes to repre­sent them," says Richard Lapchik, director of Hie consortium "And we hope that the mes­sage is heard across America and used as a model for society: Do not let these kinds ot people represent your institution."

Nationwide seminar series, such as the Mentors in Violence Prevention Program (MVP) and the NCAA's CHAMPS/Lite Skills Program, are being used to help educate student ath

fetes about acceptable forms of conduct "You have to intervene," says Art Taylor,

the associate director of Northeastern U.'s Center for the Study of Sport in Society in Boston. "Coaches have to give messages about what is acceptable."

Taylor helped develop MVP, which was founded at Northeastern in 1993. His approach, he says, is not to blame athletes for social ills, but to instead encourage proactive behavior and leadership in those areas.

The NCAA's CHAMPS/Lite Skills Program is based on a similar philosophy The training consists ot a series of on-campus lectures. One seminar focuses specifically on sexual responsibility.

The bottom line tor student athletes is per­sonal responsibility, Russell says.

" I know the limits of acceptable behavior," he says. "I don't break the law. I watch what I say, and that's the kind of example I try to set" — 0 » f

J a n n a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7 • I I. IS/lai>asitie 1 7

R a t i n g S y s t e m

Avalancha

Earthquake)

BY CARRIE BELL

B a n d

Battermhell InmelandofPorjopia,

mountains ara made of mar-* " n I __ _.___.

maaaoe, me rmceas oi apn

iTRisic Has lhe air. "Popopia is my own

reality of fantasy and frol­ic," vocalist Tammy Lynn says. "My dream is for the whole world to freak out about our music and live in Popopia. Then I want to die as a legend."

These goats don't seem so lofty considering how hard Battershell works at its labor of love. And it doesn't hurt that Zoo Records signed them either. Tammy Lynn, drummer Charlie Lauth and bassist Jamie Baker met two years ago when all were gigging with New York bands that "just weren't working.1'

"This is the coolest band I've been in, although I'm very aware of my penis," tone man Lauth says. "We share a vision of writing good music. We long for fame, bigger checks, better equipment and bigger audiences."

Judging by their debut, Sunshine In Popopia, they prefer doing things the old fashioned way. Stickers and there beckon new fans. Nonstop practice makes the poppy love punk perfect, and tiny clubs are like sec­ond homes.

"My motivation is com­paring myself to The Beat­les, the best f—king band ever," Tammy Lynn says. "I put them on and realize there's always room for improvement, tf you com­pare yourself to God, you'll maka a good disciple."

Tmunaml

n t i Flood

D Bad Hair Day

Lori C a r s o n Everything I Touch Runs Wild

AntM

A BRUSH ON A SNARE DRUM, FLUT-

tering cellos, portraits painted with poetic lyrics and a soft voice — it's subtle things that make Lori Car­son drift toward perfection in a vast sea of morose singer/songwriters.

From her New York folk roots to a t w o - C D

career as the voice for the e lec t ron ic - tex tu re

freaks, the Golden Palominos, Carson engages listeners to come closer and lose themselves in the seductive atmospherics and l iquid arrangements.

The album was recorded in the chanteuses apartment, giving it an int imate, imperfect feel. Her fragile voice wavers between low-key confi­dence and crushed sell-esteem. She avoids h i t t ing you over the head wi th messages, op t ing instead for a sneak-it-in strategy. "Snow Come D o w n " melts icicles on the coldest o l hearts, whereas 'Something's Got Me" leaves pop fans reeling.

t arson may not provide answers to whal ails you, but she makes good company for misery.

Star e e Eating February

Radtoatltvr

S n e a k e r Pimps

Becoming X < It-tin Up/Virgin

Guitar driven Brirpop has come in many tonus lately ( read : Sleeper, G a r b a g e ,

l u s h , Has ina , Ash, etc.). Fo l low ing fo rmu la are newcomers Star 69 , who have already recefocd cr i t i ­cal accolades in the UK.

This debut is peppered w i th Bush-esque guitar rifts grrrl vocals and dreamy melodies. " B u r n i n g Down The House" sways along at a hypnotic pace, wh i l e " I ' m Insane" personif ies b i t i n g e m o t i o n . Although they aren't major ground breakers, Star 69 give you enough reason to keep calling back.

Bri tpop s sister movement is the infamous world o f t r ip-hop made popular by the likes of T r i c ky ,

Ruby and Portishead. Next on the scene are Sneaker Pimps, whose selling points are Kell i Dayton's sen sual voice and overall eerieness.

In rhis collage of crunchy chords, techno pulses, languid beats and orchestral backdrops, you'll f ind an unsettl ing nirvana. These Pimps are more treat than tr ick.

T h e Hi-Fives 4 n W as U / h n l a I _-*++____ And a Whole Lotta

Youl lookout

Don' t let the three-button suits, w ing tips or straight-ahead rock rants fool you into th inking Berkeley's I l i T i ves are a modern incai nation ot Tom Hanks' tantasv band, the Wonders.

That thing they do so well is avoid the sopho­more j inx by inter twin ing the mod '60s singer-as-center mentality w i th the voracious energy ot punk. I l ie lte.it punk sound is uncomplicated, honest and tun it tempts even iwo led feet to dance this

mess around.

For retro tan.s, there are covers o f Yaz's "Bad C o n n e c t i o n " and Soft C e l l ' s flagship s ing le .

RADIO, RADIO 1 . Wllco, Being Then. Reprise

9 . .johrnty Cash, Unchained, American

3 . Jon Spencer Blues Explosion,

NtwlMWCMny,l*X-i<lot

a t . Tricky, Pre-MiHmlum Tension, island

B . Guided By Voices, Sunfisft Holy Breakfast,

Matador

e . Various Artiste, Incursions In IHbient, Asphodel

T. DJ Shadow, f/rfroduemg. , Mowax

S . Spacemen 3, Live 198$, Taangl

0 . Heatmfser, Hie City Sons, Caroline

1 0 . Yo-Yo A Go-Bo, Anthology, Yo-Yo Studios

Chart based solely on college radio play. Con tributing radio stations: KAI.X, U. of California, Berkeley; K C M U , U. ut" Washington; KCR. Cali fbrnia State U.. San Diego; K.CSB, U. of California. Sanra Barbara; KFSR, California State U., Fresno KRNU. U. of Nebraska, Lincoln; KTRU, Rice U , Texas; KVRX, U. o f Tesaa, Austin; KWVA, I I . <>f Oregon, F-ugene; WCBN, V. of Michigan; WMSV.

ippi State U ; W N Y U , New York U.; WXJM, James Madison I.-., Va.

Get the groove on U.'s music page: http://www.umagazine.com/rocks

"Ta in ted Love." "Shh ! " could pass for the opening credits o f next season's T V spy show. T h e no-holds-barred pop assault continues w i th 13 other original tunes.

Move over Creen Day, here comes something meatier in the East Bay.

Brigid Boden Brigid Boden

Raaaaji

W i th the luck o f t h e lii-.li as well as raw talent on hei

side. D u b l i n nat ive Br ig id Boden might as wi l l dance the celebratory j ig early. Ller fusion of hip-hop, reggae, dance and traditional Irish folk musii is refreshing umi l you get bored bv ibe repetition. f iddles, Gaelic pipes and tin whistles abound, while mcsiueri/ ing beats keep toes lapping.

I h i poignant lyrics read like well-writ ten prose, w h i l e her sweet s i ren voice resonates in your eardrums. Help comes in the form o f cx-Chicftains li ltcr (the Itish method o f scatting) I'.il Ki lduft and

throaty rapper JC 001. l i s l i n a lot coii l k id club hoppers.

Our Picks

young MCs to a five-CD box set that chronicles the roots of your labor. Sugar Hill Gang, Grandmaster Flash, Spoonie Gee and the rest of the gang turned rap Into a commercial commodity. Sure to be a rap fan's delight with nasty bass lines and old-school rhymes. And that's the straight dope.

F r e d e r i c C h o p i n Chopin For Dummies Angel/EMI

Think arpeggio is fancy lettuce? Billy Joel your only piano man? This greatest hits of the romantic virtuoso, one in a 24 artist series, will turn even the most untrained ear into a fan and doubles as a CD-ROM. Includes 12 of the most popular etudes, nocturnes and ballades. And at $9.99, the price is Verdi good.

H u e y L e w i s & T h e N e w s Tima* Filmm — The Beat ot Elektra

Want a new drug? Try the compila­tion that really is the "heart of rock and roll" (as long as you steer clear of the

new tracks these rock studs try to sneak past you). Deny it if you will, but you'll find yourself singing along to every single word.

H o r n y T o a d TTifrream Domo

This trio hopes to be next in a long line of famous rock amphibians like Bullfrog Jeremiah and Toad the Wet Sprocket. You'll be skankin' to the Latin, punk-flavored beats of this nonstop dance party in no time.

T h e M o o n S e v e n T i m e s Sunburnt Roadrunner

Acoustic alchemy runs rampant on this ethereal collection of moody music from the Illinois quartet. Lynn Canfield

purrs with the purity of a cherub while the band fills space with unobtrusive yet soulful accompaniment.

P a u l B r o a d n a x Harm'm to Joe Brownstone

Nat King Cole-ish singer Paul Broadnax jazzes it up in a tribute to legendary vocalist Joe Williams. Best for Sunday morning brunch on the patio because of the cool lounge tone and smooth assortment of horn, strings and piano solos.

Nothing like hoi chocolate and good music to heat up a cold winter's night. These are the chosen tew CDs ttw assis­tant editors think are better than last month's fuzzy new Totes.

; i

1 8 U . Magai . i iu* • J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7

BY COLLEEN RUSH

YOU WON'T JEE MANY NTW MUGS in this latest batch of celluloid

offerings, but you will see some excit­ing new roles for the old faces. Those clever studio execs sure know how to shake up an aud ience . We've got Chevy Cha s e do ing pratfal ls , an earnest Chris O'Donnell, Jackie Chan as a martial arts expert and Chris Far­ley playing a bumbling idiot. Oops. There goes that theory.

Donnie B r a s c o ( olumbtal I rtSiar

FBI agent Joe Pistone, alias Donnie Brasco, alias Johnny Depp, has a dilemma. His new undercover gig as a small t ime jewel thief f rom Miami is all tun and stuff because he gets to infiltrate the Bonanno mob fami ly . Wha t he d idn ' t ant ic ipate was the fr iendship he'd forge wi th that lovable family hit man, " l-cfry" (A l Pacino). N o w he's torn between his lite as an upstanding citizen, husband and dad and his friendship wi th a guy who kills people RM a l iv ing. Tough choice.

Lost H ighway tktabn Iilm,

His Ireakincss David lynch serves up a healthy dose o l ident i ty crises and plot twists iu his latest film venture. In Lost Highway, be lakes old . lu lus (the tortured . u t ko l d accused o f his wife's murder, the temptress who cheats on her gangster boyfriend) and contorts them into two parallel stories with one too-many connections. Bill Pullman {Independence Day) stars as the n u k o l d , and Patricia Arquetic [Ed Wood) is both the cheating wife and the cheating temptress. Bui she's not the same person O i is s lu ' Good lu tk figuring this one out.

J a c k i e C h a n ' s First S t r i ke Nrw I ine

J a c k i e Chan is

punch ing out more movies than evildot is In hirst Strike, Chan's s ix th import to h i t Aniciua, Chan portrays a Hong Kong patties officer contracted by the CIA to retrieve a stolen nuclear warhead. Count on tons o f stunts, that trademark Chan humor and a happy ending.

Star Wars: Special Editions JOth ( mtury f»\

A long time ago in a galaxy lar, far away, .Star Wars dazzled a generation with its unprecedented special I lie. is and clever projection of Western and medieval iliehes onto a futuristic b.ickdrop. Since, rhe scries has remained unparalleled in the sci-fi genre. And with the icicnt popularity ot shallow moneymakers like Inde­pendence Day, the time is right tor creator George Lucas lo remind us who's the man. 1 m hai revamped eath installment with digital sound, enhanced special effects and new footage. But wil l audiences pay $7 to see movies i l u i have been available on video tor more than a decade? You bet your Rwoks.

In Love a n d War Newline

F r o m \-M.\

wonder to

Hemingway! (hns O'Dotl mil shucks his bai boy c o d ­piece for a lit­erary tweed , and Sandra Bul lock goes Florence Night ingale in Richard Attenborough's epic story ot the love affair between Finest Hemingway (O Donnell) and nurse Agues Von Kurowsky (Bullock).

D a n t e ' s P e a k Universal

There she blows' Yes! Dante's leak— the other

volcano movie — opens in February after a pro

traded game ot release -date chicken wi th T o m m y

I n |ones' Volcano (which 20th Century Fox has

pushed bm k to laic summer). This action-adventure

stars Lainda 1 lamHton as the mayor o f a small pacific

northwest town, Pierce Brosnan as the dashing vol

canologist under pressure and one big-ass eruption.

V e g a s V a c a t i o n • a f t H M H>,,.

The Cris wo ld f a m i l y hits the road again. l l u s tune Pa ( nis wold (Chevy ( ,hatc) takes the lam tt» the mecca of

cheese, that t o w n we all love to hate, the place where lonely alcohoHci go to meet hookers and ilie

I as Vegas! And no Vegas adventure is complete without those w.uky govs, Siegfried & Roy, and the ever-cuddly Wayne Newton.

T h e P e s t < ulunibia/1riStar

Ii sounded like a sweet deal .. . a cool mi l l ion just to go on an island hunt. But factor in a fugitive scam artist named Pest and an eccentric ruldler. and

you have a not-so-fun game of hunt the hunted. John leguizamo (Romeo and Juliet) stars as Pestario "Pest" Vargas, the crafty guy wi th a bounty on his head and a mil l ion reasons to live.

When We W e r e Kings ( J raineny

D o n ' t call it a comeback — call it good t iming. In the wake o f

M u h a m m a d Ali's emot ion­al r e t u r n t o the l i m e l i g h t d u r i n g last s u m m e r ' s O l y m p i c opening cere­monies comes ihis documentary o f t h e fight heard 'round the world. The film — 23 years in the mak­ing — follows the epic Foreman vs. A l i "Rumble in the Jungle" that rook place in /a i re . Plus: bonus footage of I )on King before the hair th ing.

Bever ly Hills Ninja f .otumbiit/1riSiai

Here 's a streu h: Chr is F a r l e y ( tommy Boy) plays a f a t , c lumsy loser w i t h a s ide­k i c k w h o always gets h i m o u t o I t r o u b l e . I n Ninja, Farley is 11 a r u, an orphan raised in Japan by a secret society of martial arts

experis. In spite ot his training, l la ru CSJl'l perform even the simplest mart ia l arts moves W h e n he accepts a dangerous mission on tlu mean streets ol Beverly Hi l ls , his ninja h ro t l u i secretly follows to protect h im Irom harm.

you'll find everything but the Raisinets on U.'s movie page: http://www umaga21ne.com

Screen Saver Hotel do Lovo

Australian writer Craig Rosenberg wasn't looking for a screenplay when he checked into a honeymoon hotel at Niagara Falls. In fact, he wasn't even on his honeymoon.

But when Rosenberg met the bitter hotel manag­er —who spun tale after tale of collapsed marriages and love gone awry — he walked away with fodder for Hotel de Love, a quirky romantic comedy about a young cynic who runs a kitschy honeymoon hotel.

"The manager [at Nia­gara Falls] hated every­body," says Rosenberg, who wrote and directed the movie. "We'd see all these couples, and he'd say, 'I'll give 'em two weeks.' So, I'm thinking, 'What more fun could I have with these tacky rooms and this deeply cynical hotel manager?"'

Rosenberg's hotel set offers big-time attractions like Niagara Smalls and gaudy theme rooms like the Garden of Eden.

"Niagara Smalls was just this little slope with arti­ficial rocks and a water pump for the falls," Rosen­berg says. "The crew started having these romantic pic­nics by it on the weekend."

All tackiness aside, the movie is a must-see for cynics and romantics alike. The story follows a motley crew of lovers — young, old, married, just-married — spending the weekend at the infamous hotel.

The Reel Deal Tho Pooplo vs. Larry Flynt

"Why would anyone want to make a movie about this sleazoid?" was Woody Harrel-son's first reaction when approached to play the title role in The People Vs. Larry Flynt

Some moviegoers may feel the same. After all, a chronicle of America's premier spread-eagle nomographer is hardly family fare. But it does have all the makings of a good drama: A white-trash strip club owner creates a publishing empire, is paralyzed in an assassination attempt, loses his drug-addicted wife to AIDS and takes a land­mark First Amendment case to the Supreme Court. "Larry Flynt is a devil with angels' wings," says Academy Award-winning director Milos Forman.

Forman prefers to hire actors who are similar in spirit and background to their characters. Still, the Czech native says he was unaware of Courtney Love's history when she auditioned tor the role ot Flynt's wife, Althea Leasure. "But I just loved her," Forman says. "Courtney has the courage to use her own experience in her acting."

For Love, living through this required she prove herself as (shudder) a team player. But she says surrendering control of her work was not entirely unpleasant

"When you're having this guy moving you around and telling you what to do, it's a kind of sexy, weird thing," she says. "In order to trust him, you must believe he's using the best of you."

That trust might pay off lor Love: Audiences are whispering "0-S-C-A-R."

By James Hibberd, Assistant Editor

2 0 U . Maga-r ina.* » J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7

[Serenading celebs who lever should have gotten

out of the shower

but when you do hear the pointy-eared man sing, get ready tor the sensitive side of Spock.

IY THE U. CREW

TAIL'S COMI S WITH MANY A Sl'l ENDOREO THING —

a happenin' set of wheels, a hot habe, big money. But for some residents of celebrityville, material stuff just isn't enough. That's when tragedy strikes. Fame, much to a true fan's stomach-churning cha­

grin, means nothing to many celebs until, of course, they ^ • t a record. Some become golden moldies, but most are

ire Velveeta. I Here at U. Magazine, we tried to separate the Gouda

im the bad. Some are more promising (to give you lac-[>se intolerance) than others:

did th i s , " he says in the ptess release. Is he ever?

J e r r y Spr inger — Cheese factor: five out of five.

Or. Tmm r-uUlle f-tth Muir

As if his talk show wasn ' t nough, Jetry's gone country, and

Cincinnati has one more reason to lament the former mayor's nou-veau fame. The idea for Dr. Talk t a m e to Jerry du r ing a trip to

.Nashville, when he realized coun­t r y music lyrics had a lot in com­

mon with his talk shows. Check Jthis out from the title ttack, "Dr.

Now I know your lover eft you/With who you thought as your best friend/And the dog

ou taught to fetch a hall/Just bit 'ou in your rear end/But temem-<r that guy on Springer who cried nd fought and swore/That last eck he talked to Elvis at a Mtm* his Wal-mart store."

No wonder the bulging beef-ake wi th a ponytail , Billy Ray yrus, asked Jerry to open for him. ut Jerry remains humble. "1 was ot playing with a full deck when I

Ta lk"

Leonard Nimoy —

Mr. S p o c k ' a Muaic From Outmr apmom

UCA Record,

Just as the Enterprise was first to brave the final frontier, Nimoy was one of the first TV celebs to venture into earth-shattering musi­cal projects . H igh ly illogical? Guess again. N imoy ' s gusto in "Follow Your S ta r" provides s t rength and insp i r a t ion that dteamy listeners thirst for. His ren­dition of "Where is Love?" from Oliver is touching, but haunting backup vocals give it a freaky qual­ity — you defini te ly wouldn ' t want to wake up to it. Familiar "Twinkle, Twinkle, little Earth," however, is a soothing backdrop to a bedside chat with spooky Uncle Spock. This galactic compilation includes groovy instrumentals like "Music to Watch Space Girls By,"

William S h a t n e r —

Out of this world The Trmnmformmd Man

MCA Records

Dammit Will, you're an actor, not a singer! Back in 6 8 , Shatner cut this 6-track album, packed with drama and intrigue. For the some­t imes f rant ic , often eer ie , bu t always s t u n n i n g spoken word, check out Shatner'l transformation from captain to crooning songster. Although track titles include sever­al ot Shakespeare's soliloquies in addition to songs like "l.ucy in the Sky With Diamonds," phat Shat never actually pretends he can sing. Instead, he treats both theater and musical covers like dramatic narra­tives. Unlike Spock's Music From Outer Space, The Transformed Man bursts with strange sexual energy. Look out, Spock! Whi l e you're watching the space girls, the cap­tain is zapping 'cm.

T r a c i L o r d s — Ghe&&& factor;

thre& out of f i v e rooo Fires

Radioactive Records

Giving it is n o t h i n g new to Traci Lords, so why should we be surprised that she sports two heads on the cover of 1000 Fires} The underage-porn-star turned Melrose-/V**ve-psycho turned tcchno-artist

makes her stunning singing debut, aided only by about $20,000 of voice distortion equipment. "I want to control your soul," she sings, and, after listening to more than *S5 minutes ot throbbing Traci-techno, she just might succeed. Traci treats FtM to both sides ot herself — pouty and seductive. Nude photos are not included in the liner notes, but there is a thank vou tu her record company, "tor allowing me mv madness.

David Haseelhoff —

David Hammolhoft ( nttifue Retonts

Germany has loved David Has-selhotf tor years, and now you can, too, although this C D may grate on you like a chunk of cheddar. "Dark Side of My Heart'' exudes the sultri­ness of the life-saving, babe-grab­bing Dave we al! know and love — not from plain oL Buywatch but trom Baywatch Nights. Every week, the music video montage on Bay-watch features the CD's other cool sounds. Dave's daughter does a cameo on 'Twinkle,Twinkle, Little Star." Is this twinkle stuff an epi­demic, or what? One track is enti­tled "Trv a Little Tenderness." Since

Dave copped the title from the beloved Otis Redding, we're sur­prised he didn't try taking the shirt off his hack, too. Oops — forgot, Dave doesn't wear one. Sorrv. no shirt, no shoes, no single.

Jamie Wa l te rs — C h e e s e factor: five out of f/ve

Atlantic Records

Formal 902IC abusive bad hoy Jamie Walters shows his sensitive side with this self-titled debut. His single "Hold On" made a feeble stab at the Billboard charts, and his weekly cameo on the show last year didn't help much. Since TV stardom set in, Walters' tracks like 'Drive Me." "Perfect World," and "Neutral Ground" have a good chance of making even Tori Spelling swoon. If you're in the mood tor something tougher, you can also check out Brian Austin Greene's rap C D One Stop Carnival.

John T e e h 'Nuf said.

Melissa, fames, Carrie and Amy would never admit tt. but they haven t stopped humming those damn David Hasselhoff songs since they wrote this story.

Now Look Into Our Crystal Ball

Keep your groupie eyes pealed for upcoming social — if not chart — climbing singles from Martha Stewart's stuffy serf-produced sing-along, "Wastin' Away In Martha StawartvaMe." Martha will probably display home­spun talent and craft her instruments from leftovers around die house. She could make a banjo from old pantyhose, a few clothespins and a broken Iron­ing board — now that's talent! MacGyver should be jealous.

Alao look for Sam Donaldson's rap compilation Bustin' a Prime Time Rhyme. You ain't never seen die man groove like this! Songs include: "Spin Me Uke a Spin Doctor," and "Those Muther Truckln' Flyboys on Capitol Hill." Although Sammy D. looks a lot like Spock, we doubt he'll ever come up with as much flava as tha space man.

These are just our humble predictions. Take 'em or leave 'em, but don't forget the crackers.

J a n u s a j r y / F e b r u a u r y 1 9 9 7 • U . M a g a z i n e 2 1

CONTESTS STH ANNUAL U. PHOTO FOUR $ 1 , 0 0 0 ORAND PRIZES

Here's your chance to win big money! ll. is offering tour $1,000 cash grand prizes lor

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Sport, (mud to varsity). Road Trippin' and

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Photos can be of anyone ot anything on or

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outrageous. For best tesults, keep the faces in

c a a m / s u r a / matoanoMS, CaaHaaaan MmmtUmy, Trnxmrn a a. M u. "Haflaction. ol tha FighbiT Taias Aggie band."

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Send entries on color print or slide film,

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2 2 U . Maj(a .r . i i i e • J a n u a r y / F e b r u a r y 1 9 9 7

B Y A A R O N aTAVITZ U. nr NEBRASKA. O M A H A

ILLUSTRATION BV JAMAH N H mu AS. LS SAILF U „ PA.

Double

College papers typically cover everything from parking woes to the new campus bagel shop. But every so often, they turn heads with headline gems Hket

Toilet swiped by lard-crazed vil­lains — The Daily Lobo, U. of Naw Mexico

Discovery Channel offers hours of arousal — The Daily Neb-raskan, U. of Nebraska, Lincoln

Drivers smash airborne bovine — Cornell DaHy Sun, Cornell U., N.Y.

Masturbator disrupts library's tranquility — The Daily lowan, U. of Iowa

Toothbrush-wielding groundhog startles woman in bathroom — The Penn, Indiana U. of Penn­sylvania

Animals parade lo cathedral — The Daily Orange, Syracuse U.

Alleged Zucchini Bandit to be tried — DaHy Targum, Rutgers tt, N J .

Man steals VCR; tries to use as cab fare — The Penn, Indiana U. of Pennsylvania

Give mud a chance — The Georgetown Voice, Georgetown U.

Latex allergies make rubber a scratch — The University Dally Hansen, U. of Kansas

Christ not substitute for sax — The Kaleidoscope, U. of Alabama, Birmingham

Woman wins weed war — lhe northern Star, Northern Illinois U.

N AMERICA, SPORTS TAKE THE PLACE OF RELIGION. M E N ,

women, children and pets stash away their prayer books and holy water, grab a beer and turn on the boob tube to worship the gods of Dick Vitale, Terry Bradshaw and

.Greg Gumbel. I, on the other hand, look forward to sport ing events like I look forward to

rectal surgery. In fact, I'm frightened as hell o f die-hard sports fans. They sit hypnotized before a televised altar chanting a mantra of their team's greatness. ( In Michigan, I believe people are required to chant " ( i o Blue!" 50 times before gaining residence.)

My fr iend once to ld me. "Spor t ing events are as close to wor ld peace as we w i l l ever come." I t 's sad to th ink that our culture

can come t o g e t h e i in h a r m o n y w a t c h i n g g l o v e - f i s t e d , s l o b b e r i n g too ls i n sh iny shorts pulverize each others' brains to w in a tacky gold bel t .

Look at the games that fill stadiums wi th thousands ot fans wav ing oversized foam hands and act ing like first-class idiots. It's unfortunate that people can't d rum up this k ind ot enthusiasm for other, more cultured

ipaUSIOI events.

Take theater, for example. Why can't there be gatherings after a great dramatic perfor­mance, with halt the city unit ing and chanting, " N e i l S i m o n k icks b u n ! " or "Tennessee Wil l iams is N o . I!"?

M y gir l fr iend says i f we ever have kids we'll have ro teach them to appreciate sports. But why?

1 refuse to force my chi ldren to bat around the skin of a dead animal j u s so they' l l have a reason to feel prejudice

tosvard other states. t^ej jy Hi I in Frank, I'm f rom Florida." I rm "F lor idal Your baseball team isn't worth crap. Get out of

my state." W i t h all these overzealous sports fans today, I wou ldn ' t dis-

:ount the possibil i ty of another civ i l war. which wou ld f inal ly prove who has the better state, the fiercest mascot and the I a i l it I I stadium hot dogs.

Maybe what sports tans reallv need is to watch Beaches three times a day and learn there's more to life than watch ing guys knock each other s teeth out w i t h .1 hockev puck.

Unfor tunate ly, sports seem to be an American staple, and 1 guess no matter how manv Bette Mid ler niosies we force on ihese lunaiics. ibe phenomenon w i l l continue.

But I sti l l think Arthur M i l l e r can whip an athlete's butt am day.

At the age of J. .Aaron e-avttz mm knocked unci,„,,i„n in „ Serf football,

which may explain his bizarre aversion to all things .ilhlen,

University X, J im Lasser , U. o f Michigan

HEV, DIDN'T 5AVAN/VAH TECH WEP I T o gE , ^ U j P 17IE Yl6tjRS.i*;

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