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Peoplestilltalkaboutsomedo-gooder.Agoodscout,theoneineverycrowd.Somealtarboy,someteacher’spetwalksintotheSoutheastPrecinct,lookingbothways,whisperingwithonehandcuppedbesidehismouth.Pastdarko’clock,it’smidnighto’clock,wheninwalksthekidwithhishoodup,headdown,wearingsunglasses,noless.He’snobody’sStevieWonder.Nowhitecane,nodog.Whisper-askscanhetalktosomebodyincharge.Asksthedesksergeantonduty.Whispers,“Iwanttoreportacrime’ssupposedtohappen.”
Thedesksergeant’sbeing,“GotsomeID?”
Wearingaballcapwiththebrimpulledlow,hishoodpulledupontopoftheballcap.Onlyhisnoseandmouthshowing,thispartypooper,concernedcitizen,sweatingdarkpatchesthroughthebackofhissweatshirt,he’sall,“It’snotmetellingyou,okay?”Shakinghishead.“Notinpublic,either.”
SoMr.DeskSergeant,hecallssomebody.Makesabigperformanceofpressingabutton,pickinguphistelephoneandtouch-toning,nevertakinghiseyesoffthiskidinthesunglasses,sergeantaskingcanadetectivecomedowntothelobbyandtakeastatement.Yeah,apossibletip.Sergeantlooksatthekid’shandshecan’tseeonaccountofthey’reshovedinthefrontpocketsofhishoodie,notagoodsign.Sergeantalwaysheadnodding.Pointingwithhischin,like,“WanttokeepyourhandswhereIcanseethem?”
Thekidobliging,butshiftinghisweightfromfoottofootlikeheforgottotakealeakforthepasthundredyears.Craningaroundlikehe’sexpectingsomebodytowalkinoffthestreetbehindhim.Kid’sall,“Ican’tbeexposedherelikethis.”
Thiskid,hisarmshangstraightwhilehe’shyperactivefromthewaistdown,likehe’sinRiverdance,orlikehe’sdoingporn,thesamewayapornstarkeepsthatcamera-sidearmslack,pulledback,paralyzed,whilehishipsbuck,likethatonearmisattemptingtofleethesceneinunderstandablehumiliation.
Sergeantondutybeing,“Emptyyourpockets.”Wavingthisgoody-two-shoesinthedirectionofametaldetectiontunneldealsameasatanyairport.
ThisEagleScoutextricateshiswalletandphoneandputsthemintheplasticbowl.Afteralonghesitation,hissunglasses.TheregularHomelandSecurityroutine.Thekid’seyestwitchy.Blueeyesunderworried-togethereyebrows.Makingafacethatwillgivehimwrinklesoneday.
Inthepolicestationthere’sasound,likeapop,likeashot,likeagungoingoffonlymuffled,maybeoutside.Kidjumps.Mostdefinitelyagunshot.
Detective’slike,“Youhigh,son?”
Kid’sgotthislooklikehe’sjustseenthewrongpersonnakedridingabicyclefrombehind.Hisvoicefallsoffacliff,goingshrillallthewaytothebottom,hesays,“CanIhavemywalletback?”
Detective’sall,“Firstthingsfirst.”Thedetectivegoes,“Youhereabouttheupcomingassassinations?”
Andthekid’slike,“Youguysknowalready?”
Thedetectiveaskswhoelsehasthekidtold.
Andthisusefulmemberofsociety,thiskid,hesays,“Justmyfolks.”
Thedetectivegivesbackthekid’swallet,hiskeysandsunglassesandtelephone,andasks,canthekidcallortexthisfolksandpersuadethemtocomehere,totheprecinctrightthismoment?
Thedetectivesmiles.“Ifyougotaminute,Icananswerallyourquestions.”Hejerkshisheadtowardthecameraontheceiling.“Nothere.”Detectiveleadsthiskid,America’snewesthero,downaconcretehallway,downafirestairs,throughacoupleofmetaldoorsmarkedAuthorizedPersonsOnly.Leadsthekidtoametaldoor.Unlocksitwithakey.Throwsthedooropen.
Thiskid’sfolks,theytextthey’recomingdowntohelphim.Theytextnottobescared.Insidethemetaldoorit’sdarkandstinks.Abacked-uptoiletstink.Kidfollowsthedetective.Hisfolkstextthey’reinthelobby.
Here’sthebestpart.Detectiveflipsonthelights.Thissnitch,thetattletaleseespiledinthecenteroftheroomaheapofbloodyclothes.Nextheseesthehandsattachedtoeachsleeve.It’sonlyclothesandshoesandhandsbecausetheheadsandfaceshavebeenobliterated.Adistantvoice,muffledfromanotherroom,says,“Theonlyqualitythattrulyunitesusisourdesiretobeunited...”
It’sthenouraltarboyturnstothedetectiveforhelpandseesnothingexceptthemuzzleaimedpoint-blankathisownface.
Soonasthelocatingservicescansforpipesandburiedelectricalcableshegivesthego-aheadtodig.Spencer’sRentaltrucksoverthebackhoe,theironewiththelargestbucket.
Thejob’sjusthalf-dugwhensaunteringacrossthepracticefieldscomessomebodytoooldtobeastudent.Somebodytenured.SomebusybodyinthoseIndia-print,cottondrawstringpants.Leathersandalsandsocks.Wearingasweatshirtprintedwiththewords“ThisIsWhataFeministLooksLike.”Somethingrolledupandtuckedunderhisarm.He’sgottheusualgraybeardandeyeglasses.Oncehe’syelling-close,graybeardraiseshisarmandwaves.Shouts,“Nicedayforit.”
Yes,andaponytail.Saunteringacrossthesoccerpitch.Baldexceptforthegrayponytailhanginghalfwaydownhisback.Sparklinginthesunshine,anearring.Onedazzle-brightdiamondearring.
Specificationscallforexcavatingarectanglethreehundredbythirtyfeet.Twelvedeep,withthebottomleveledandlayeredwithtwofeetofimperviousclay.Ontopofthat,aseamlessbarrierofpolyethylenesheetingtoretardpossibleleakageintothewatertable.Thissite,here,aminimumoffivehundredyardsfromanypotablewelloropenwatercourse.Thesearethesamespecsthey’reusingnationally,thesamespecsasaholdingpondatamill,onlyminusthecompressedclayhardpantheEPAwouldnormallyrequire.
Rolledupunderthegraybeard’sarm?It’sayogamat.Hegoes,“Whatareyougentlemenundertaking,here?”Aprofessorslummingitamongtheproles.
Rufusgoes,“Campusimprovement.”Howhesaysthiswithoutlaughing,whoknows,buthe’sall,“Long-termundergroundparkingforfaculty.”
Naylorlaughs,onlyheputsafisttohismouthandpretendsit’sacough.Ostermanngiveshimaharshlook.
Professorisall,“CallmeBrolly.Dr.Brolly.”Heoffersahandshakenobodyaccepts,notatfirst.NaylorlooksatWeise.Rufusheftshisclipboardandflipsthroughthethickstackofpaperitholds.Professor’shandhoversuntilOstermannshakesit.
Rufusshuffleshispages,being,“Brolly...Brolly...”Hisfingertiptracesdownsomelist,andRufusgoes,“Youteachsomethingcalled‘TheArrogantLegacyofPrivilegedEuro-ColonialCulturalImperialism’?”
Professornodstoindicatetheclipboard,himbeingall,“MayIasktowhatyou’rereferencing?”
Notmissingabeat,Rufuscomesrightbackwith,“Environmentalimpactstudy.”
NaylorandWeisebothguffaw.Totaljackasses.Theyturntheirbackstoeverybodyuntiltheycanregainaprofessionalcomposure.They’restillsnickeringuntilOstermanngoes,“Don’tbedicks!”
Professorred-facedbehindhisbeard.Heshiftshisyogamatfromunderonearmtoundertheother,going,“IonlyaskbecauseIserveontheuniversityCommitteeAgainstWoundingtheEarth.”
Consultinghislists,Rufusisall,“Vicechairperson,itsayshere.”
Naylorexcuseshimselftogoinformthebackhoeoperatoroftheneedtoslopethewestsideoftheexcavationseeinghowthat’sthesidethedumptruckswillbefillingitfrom.Nobodywantsittoslumpunderthatkindofweight.Weiseleansonhisshovel,noddingtogetProf’sattention,going,“Nicesweatshirt.”
Armup,sleevepulledbacktoshowawristwatch,Profmakesabigshowofcheckingthetime.Being,like,“I’dstillliketoknowwhatyoupeopleintend.”
Nosestillstuckinhispaperwork,Rufusgoes,“YourofficestillinPrinceLucienCampbellHall?Sixthfloor?”
Proflooksrattled.
Weisegoes,“Thatarealdiamond?”StuckthroughProf’sleftear,soperfect.
Thesoccergrassrunsrighttotheedgeofthedig.Underthatshowsalittlemarginofdark-browntopsoil.Belowthatisayea-widestripeofsubsoil,withunderthatancienthistory,dinosaurdeep.ThebelltoweroverbytheAdministrationBuildingbeginstotollfouro’clock.
Profgoesdownononeknee,rightattheedgeofthehole.Nothingbutrawdirtgoingdowndeeperthanaswimmingpool.Deeperthanabasement.Dirtandworms.Thesteepsidesclawedwithstripesfromtheteethonthebucket.Littleclodsbustlooseandrolltothebottom.
Kneelingthere,theprofessorleansoutoverthedrop.Contemplatingwhathecan’tunderstand,hecouldbelookingforfossils.Dumbasahogledtoslaughter,notrecognizingtheobvious,buttryingtoidentifysomelasttraceofavanishedcivilization.Whateverthecase,he’sgettingagoodlong,lingeringlookateverythingpitchdarkhe’sspenthisentirelifepretendingdoesn’texist.
Thebitsofbreakfastcerealclungtohisskinlikefruit-flavoredscabs.Hepeeledoffared-flavoredoneandateit.Itleftaghostonhisarmlikeatiny,round,redtattoo.Likehewasturningintoarainbow-coloredleopard.
ThatmorningNickwakesupinbedwithspilledFrootLoopsstickingtohisback.Littlecirclestainsinrainbowcolors,likeLifeSaversprintedonhissheets.Hereacheshisphoneoffthefloortotryandreconstructhiseveningbefore.
“Rewardofferedforinformation,”itreads.Atextthatcamethroughafewminutesaftermidnight.Hetriestoreturnthetext,butit’sablockednumber.
He’snotoutofbedbeforethephonerings.TheCallerIDsays:Private.Nickthumbsthescreenandis,like,“Talktome.”
Avoicegoes,“Nicolas?”Amalevoice,butnotWalter’s.Nothisdad,either.Raspyandwheezing,butcultured.NobodyNickknowscallshimNicolas.
Helies,“No,thisisNick’sfriend.”Heneedstopiss.Onthephone,he’sall,“Nick’ssteppedout.”
Thetelephonemanis,“Allowmetointroducemyself.”Rasping,“MynameisTalbottReynolds.ByanychancedoyouhappentoknowthewhereaboutsofaMissShastaSanchez?”Wheezing,“Thatmostcaptivatingandlovelyofcreatures.”
Nickliesagain.“Can’thelpyou.”
Overthephone,“YouareacquaintedwiththeenchantingMissSanchez?”
AndNick’sall,“Nope.”
“HaveyourecentlybeencontactedbyeitherthepoliceoroneWalterBaines?”asksthisTalbottperson.
Nick’sgettingthepicture.Walter.Walt,thescrew-up.Thelamehelplessloser.Everyoverdoseorcarcrash,itwentthiswaywithoutfail.ThetimeWalterdidbathsaltsandtriedtoeathishand,itwasNickwhohadtotakehimtoEmergency.Orworse,whenhetriedtodrillthathotSatanist.Notbotheringtohidetheangerinhisvoice,Nickgoes,“Neverheardofhim.”
Thevoiceoverthephonesoundsecho-y.Asifcallingfromaholesomewhere,thisTalbottsays,“BeassuredIamanexceedinglywell-offindividualwhowouldpaygreatlyforanyassistanceyoumightoffer.”
Nick’sfingersfeelamongthebedsheetsuntiltheycomeacrosssomethinground.AtenmilligramFlexerilbythesizeofit.Byreflexhebringsittohismouthwithoutlookingandchewsitwithoutwater.Ifthisphonecallisadrugdeal,Nickfretshemightgetdraggedintoit.Theeventsoflastnightcontinuetobealittlefoggyinhishead.He’swaitedtoolong,longenoughforsomebodytotriangulatethesignalfromhisphone.Timeenoughforsomebodytobeknockingathisdoor.Hegetsall,“LetmetakeamessageforNick.”
“Tellhim,”thevoicesays,thisTalbott,“nottogotothepolice.”Afteronlytheslightestofhesitations,“Assurehimthateverythingwillberesolvedinafewdays.”
Alreadyfeelinghismusclesloosenandrelax,Nickgoes,“What’sShastawrappedupin,thistime?”
Thevoice,thiswell-heeledgeezer,Talbott,he’sasking,“MayIhaveyourname?”
OnlyNickendsthecall.Heslipsoutofbedandsquintstoseethroughthebedroomcurtains.Nobodystandsathisdoor,notyet.Hepullsagreen-flavoredFrootLoopoffhisarmandchewsit,thinking.Beforeanythingelse,heswipesandthumbstodeactivatetheGPSonhisphone.Asanaddedsafetymeasurehesnapsopenthebackandslipsoutthebattery.
Rowsoffoldingchairsaresetup,evensothere’speopleleftstandingalongtheedgesandacrosstheback.Inthatbig-boxsportinggoodsplace,theonewiththewaterfallsandtroutstreamforindoorsfly-fishing,onlyit’safterhourssothewaterfall’sshutoffandthestreamisjustdryfiberglasspoolswiththetrouttuckedawayintanksbehindthescenes.LikeMotherNature’sgonehomeforthenight,there’snosoundtrackofsongbirdsorrecordedtrumpetingbullelk.
BingandEstebancheckoutthecrowd,mostlyabumpercropofBubbatypes.AsmatteringofJamals.Anarmyoflonewolves.Acrosstheaudienceisthatonedouchefromthegym,Colton-something,sittingwithhissignificantother,PeggyorPolly.Facingthecrowdissomemanasking,“Byashowofhands,whoknowswhypeoplecroptheearsofdogs?”
Beforeanybodycananswerorevenraiseahand,hegetsrevvedupabouthowancientshepherdscroppedtheearsoftheirpuppies.Topreventinfections.Topreventwolvesfromtakingholdduringfights.Shepherdsusedthesamescissorstheyshearedtheirsheepwith.Theygrilledthesnippedbits,cookedthemupandfedthemtothesamedogstomakethemfierce,noshit.
Sporting-goodsguy,heasksthecrowd,“HowmanyofyouknowancientAssyrianlaw?”Hegetsnotakers.Chargingforward,he’sall,“TheBabylonianCodeofHammurabipunishedlawbreakersbyslicingofftheirears?”Forextracredit,hegoesonhowKingHenryVIIIpunishedsixteenth-centuryvagrantsbycroppingtheirears.That,andAmericanlawallowedfolks’earstobeloppedoffaspunishmentforseditionormoraloffensesaslateas1839.
Makinghispoint,hegoes,“Itshouldn’tsurpriseyounonethatsincethebeginningofwarfare,mercenarieshavecollectedearstoexchangefortheirpay.”
Bingputsuphishand,going,“Soundsbloody.”
Sporting-goodsguyshakeshishead,going,“Not...,”hepointsupanindexfingertomakefolkswait,“ifyourtargetisdead.”
Thechiefadvantageoftakingscalps,hegoes,isthey’relightweight.Easytoharvestandtransport.Thedownsideisthey’remessy.Thesamegoesforhearts.Claimingaheartisslowgoing.Ears,ontheotherhand,earsareideal.Theleftear,tobespecific.
Earsareportableinlargenumbers.Easytoconceal.Ahundredearshardlystrainsapapershoppingbag.Thatamountstothreehundredthousandpossiblevotes,practicallybeingyourownpoliticalparty.
Sporting-goodsguy,heturnshisheadsidewaystoeverybodyandgoes,“Grabhold.”
Hemeanshisear.Estebanlooksaround.Nobody’sgrabbingsofinallyhestepsforwardandgrabstheman’sear.Itfeelswarmandstretchy.Themansays,“Giveitagoodtug.”Hedrillsthemontheregulations:Onlytheleftearcounts.Theleft.Onlyearsonthelist.RandomDNAtestingwillbeutilized,andifyou’refoundtohavesubmittedanearnotonthelistthenyou’refacingthedeathpenalty.Earsmaynotbeexchangedorsold,andonlythepersonharvestingtheearmaysubmititforvotingcredit.
Sporting-goodsguyyaksonaboutbullfighters.Aboutearsbeingthebody’sheatradiators.
Estebanstandingthere,he’sholdingontotheguy’searlikeit’scashmoney.
Plus,theguygoes,earsaredurable.“Evenwithaheadshottheear—youmighthavetohuntforit—buttheearwillremainintact.”ToEstebanstilltuggingonhisear,hegoes,“Youmayresumeyourseat.”
Thewaythesporting-goodsguyexplainsitanearismostly,theoutsidepart,thepinna,iscomposedofcartilageoftheelastictype.That,andtheouterperichondrium,whichsuppliesbloodandlymph.Aseasytosliceasatire.
Thebestmethod,hegoes,istoslicedownwardfromthehelixjunctiontothelobe.
Hegoes,“Ifyoucanslashatire,youcanharvestanear.”
Sporting-goodsguygetstomaintaininghowfolksneedastraightedge,fixedfour-inchbladewitha
fulltang,nofancyleatherhandleorboneorwood,butaneasy-to-grippolymer.Suchishisjob:Sellingstuff.“Whatyouwantishigh-carbonstainlesssteel.”Nopartial-tangknives.Partial-tangknivestendtobreak.Foldingbladesbreak.“Amancanharvestallthetargetshewants,butifhisknifebreakswhat’sthereward?”
Sporting-goodsguyisall,“Thedaycomes,peoplewillusetheirkitchenshears—buthowaretheygoingtoheadhomeandcutupachickenwiththesametooltheytookears?”
Loud,tooloud,Estebangoes,“Amen!”Folkslaugh.
This,thisbeingEsteban’sbrainstorm,thembecomingwarriorkingsandall.Histhinkingismostmenwon’tteamup.Men,they’refreelancers,likeinoldendays,thoseknightsforhire.Yourtypicalman,he’lltrytohitatargetandharvesttheear,himself.Alternatingtasksrequireshimtoconstantlyshiftgears.Slowinghimdown.Thesolution,Estebangoes,isforlaborspecialization.Bing’sacrackshot,Bingis,sohe’llputdownthetargetwhileEstebandoestheharvesting.Together,they’reahit-and-harvestduo.Togethertheycanestablishthefoundationofagloriousdynastytolastforever.Theirkidsandtheirkids’kids’kidswillbecrownedroyalty.
TheAdjustmentbeingonelastshotatdoingsomethingusefulwiththeirlives.
TheirswasjustlikeNatTurner’srebellionorJohnBrown’sraid.Alegacy.CometheNewCrusades,theOne-DayCrusade,andthey’llclaimsomethingcomparabletotheknightswho’dbeenawardedestates.Butapowersettooutlastbothlandandmoney.Becomeroyalblood.Withashoppingbagcrammedfullofearsthey’lltaketheirplaceinhistory.EstebanandBingandtheirdescendantswillcontrolamostmightynationforthecenturiestocome.
BackinhischairEstebanremovedatissueandtubeofcocoabutterfromhiscoatpocket.Hewasasleekapexpredatornow.Ifhewasgoingtogiveupalifetimeofgettinghand-me-downsandleftovers,he’dneedtogetthatman’swaxyearstinkoffhisfingers.
Shastadidn’tturnaround.Shewasaccustomedtocollegeboystrailingherthroughthehallsbetweenclasses,eye-rapingherFrenchvanillacurves,ear-rapingherwiththeirshoutsof,“Let’smountShasta!”Theserambunctiousdouchebagsshouting,“How’dyouliketosummitShasta?”
They’dpullatherdreadsandshout,“Shasta,letmegetbelowyourtreeline!”
Atthissheturned.ShehopeditwasWalt.ItsoundedlikeWalt’svoice.Butwhenshelookeditwasaburnertypewhosebreathsmelledlikeatorchedpartybowlofcheapkush.Helungedather,histongueoutandlipspursed,tryingtostealakiss.
Thestonerwent,“I’llmissyou,Shasta.”
Confused,shewasall,“ButI’mnotgoingaway!”Shesidesteppedashetriedtoswatherbottom.
Thensherealizedthathewasleaving.Thissadburnerdude,hewasgoingtodie.
Allthecollegeboysweregoingtodiepainful,awful,horribledeaths.
Thepoorguy.Theywerealltobepitied.
HereattheUniversityofOregon,nomatterhowintensetheteasinggrew,shedidn’ttakeitseriously.Theseboys,eventhosewhotriedtopinchheryogapants,sheknewforafacttheyactedoutsimplybecausetheywereterrified.
Dr.BrollywhotaughtPatternsinPoliticshadexplainedasmuch.
Forallin-comingfreshmen,he’dledamoduleexaminingabookbysomeGermanbraincase.Thesmarty-pantsacademic,GunnarHeinsohn,theorizedthatallmajorpoliticalupheavalsinhistorywereduetoanexcessofyoungmales.A“youthbulge,”thesavvykrautcalledit.TeachingtheconceptleftProfessorBrollybreathlesswithexcitement.Thebasicideaheldthatifatleastthirtypercentofapopulationconsistedofmalesbetweentheagesoffifteenandtwenty-nine—watchout!
Suchsurplusyoungmen,iftheyweresomewhateducatedandwellfed,theyyearnedforstatusandwouldcreatehavocinpursuitofit.Gunnarheldthatstarvingpeopledon’tstriveforrecognition.Likewise,illiterateboyswillneverrecognizehowhistoryignoresthem.Butiftheyouthbulgeisfed,wellfedandschooled,they’llbecomeapackofravenous,attention-seekingwolves.
Forhisfavoriteexample,Dr.BrollycitedSpainin1484.ThatyearthePope,InnocentVIII,declaredthatanyformofbirthcontrolwouldbepunishedbydeath,andthesizeoftheaverageSpanish
familyjumpedfromtwochildrentoseven.Onlythefirst-bornmalewouldinheritfamilyassets.Femalechildrenexpectedlittleatthetime.Butextramalechildrencravedstatus,power,recognition,andsocialposition.Itwasthissurgeofyoungmenwhocalledthemselvessecundones—inEnglish,“secondaries.”ItwasthesemenwhospilledintotheNewWorldwithChristopherColumbus’ssecondexpeditionandbecamethelegionsofconquistadoreswhoenslavedandpillagedtheinnocentMayaandAztecs.
IfWikipediawastobetrusted,GunnarHeinsohnhadbeenborninPolandin1943,whichofficiallymadehimsupergeriatric.ToShasta,evenwithhisshaggyblondhairandcooleuronamehewasonlymediumhot.
Throughouthistory,Dr.Brollylectured,similarbulgesoframbunctiousyouthfulmenhadtoppledgovernmentsandtriggeredwars.Eighteenth-centuryFranceexperiencedapopulationsurgethatincreasedthedemandforfood.Pricesrose,citizensrevolted,andthefrustratedyoungpeopleoverthrewtheLouisXVIaristocracyandloppedoffMarieAntoinette’sbejeweledhead.SamedealwiththeBolshevikRevolution.Itwassetinmotionbyafloodofextraneoussonsfromthecountrysidewhohadnofarmlandstoinherit.Inthe1930s,JapanexperiencedayouthbulgethatspurredtheinvasionofNanking.Inturn,Mao’srevolutionwaspoweredbyamaleyouthbulgeinChina.
Shastahadabsorbedeverydetail.Clearly,everybadeventinhumanhistoryhadbeencausedbyasurplusofcute,youngboyfriendmaterial.
AccordingtotheCouncilonForeignRelations,between1970and1999,someeightypercentofcivilconflictsoccurredinnationswheresixtypercentofthepopulationwasyoungerthanthirtyyearsold!Atpresentthereweresixty-sevencountrieswithso-calledyouthbulges,andsixtyofthemweresufferingsocialupheavalandinternalviolence.
AsifinleaguewithBrolly,Ms.Pettigrove,whotaughtGeneralitiesofGender,lecturedthateveryconflictthatcullsthemalepopulousincreasesthesocialvalueofmen.Inturn,thiscatalyzesarebirthofthepatriarchy.Withfewermentochoosefrom,womengoboycrazyandtoethelineforanythingwearingpants.
Itdidn’ttakemuchbrainpowertorealizewhythemalestudentbodyattheUniversityofOregonstruttedabout,brashandloud,butsecretlyterrified.TheUnitedStateswasonlydaysawayfromratifyingadeclarationofwarwiththeMiddleEast.Thatregionwasenduringitsownburgeoningbulgeofyoungmales,whiletheUnitedStateswasstrugglingwiththehyperactivityandstatusdemandsoftheMillennialgeneration—arguablythebiggestboybulgeinworldhistory.
InMissLanahan’sclass,BiologyofAnimalDynamics,sheshowedthemavideoaboutanimalrightsfilmedbyPETAorsomebody.Itshowedapoultryfarmwheresuper-cute,newlyhatchedchickswerecheckedfortheirgender.Thebabyhenswereplacedunderwarminglampsandgivenfoodandwater.Thebabyroosters,theygotdroppeddownadarkchute.TheypiledupinaDumpster,sodeeptheyformedafluffy,seethingmass,eachchickstrugglingtostayalive.AforkliftcarriedtheDumpsterintoabarrenfarmfieldandpoureditout.There,themalechicks,aliveanddeadalike,wereplowedunderasorganicfertilizer.
Theyoungmenintheclasshadhowledwithlaughterastheteeming,peepingfloodofEastercutiesspilledfromtheDumpster.Thetinyyellowballsoffluffstumbled,terrifiedandcold,acrossthebaredirt.Inatwinkling,gianttractortiresandthrashingfarmmachinerypulverizedeveryadorablenewlife.
Theboyslaughed,Shastaknew,notbecauseitwasfunnybutbecausethechickswerethemselves.
HowcouldtheseteenagersfocusonlearningcollageinArtorballroomdancinginPhysEdwhen,withthestrokeofagovernmentpen,theirliveswereabouttobeover?
Everyoneknewit.Theireighteenthbirthdayhadbeenadeathsentence.
Thiswashowpoliticianshadalwaysdealtwiththeburdenofsurplusmen.ItmadeShastasad,really.Reallysad.Theseloudmouthedjocksandstonersandnerds,theyweredeadmenwalking.AssoonasthedeclarationofwarwasratifieditwassolongmaleMillennials,hellonewlyrobustpatriarchy.
TheboyswhotrailedthehallwaysbehindShasta,tryingtosnapherbrastrapsandpepperingherwithsexuallysuggestiveinvectives,theywereallregisteredformilitaryservice.Mostofthemwouldbeshippedofftobebullet-rapedbyenemycombatants.
SowheneverShastastartedtotakeumbrageattheirharassment,sheconsideredhowmostofthemwouldsoonbebulldozedbeneatharidduneswithlikenumbersofboisterousandextraneousMiddleEasternboys.She’dscamperthroughhercourseworkwhilehermalepeerswouldbeconscripted.Theirmusclesandpimpleswouldbemangledundertanktreadsandblastedintoscreamingpiecesbylandminesjustliketheburied-alive,just-hatchedbabyroosterswhoseonlycrimehadbeenbeingbornthewronggender.
Shewouldgoontoearnherdegreeinsocialwork,justthebeginningofarich,longlife.
Andshe’dalwaysremembertowearapoppypinnedtoherlapeleveryRemembranceDay.
Behindheravoicehissed,“Shasta...”
Sheturned,readytoupbraidsomenewaccoster,butshewaswrong.HerewasNick.Aone-timeboyfriend.Nick,who’ddroppedoutattheendoffirstsemester,reasoningthathedidn’tneedPhysicsandCalculusIIforasuccessfulfuturecareerasshattered,bloodiedcannonfodder.Itwasnicetoseehim.
Tojudgefromthewanhalf-smileonhisface,hewashappytoseeheraswell.Beforethemomentcouldturnintoanythingstickyandromantic,heaskedher,“HaveyouseenWalterlately?”
Waltwashercurrentboyfriend.He’dalsodroppedoutofschool.HeworkedatStarbucks,earningafewdollarsandtryingtoenjoytheprecioussmidgenoflifelefttohim.No,shehadn’tseenhim.Notsincethedaybeforewhenhe’dbeenrantingaboutsomegrassrootsmassmurderconspiracy.
“Firstoff,”wentNick,“ifthepoliceask,youhaven’tseenme.”Hetookherhandandpulledhertowardanemptystoragespaceunderneaththeschool’ssouthstairs.Hewasbeingall,“Shasta,sugar,weneedtotalk.”Hereachedoutandbrushedthedreadsawayfromherface.“Honestly,I’mnotgoingtodate-rapeyou.”
Shastaallowedherselftobepulledin.
GregoryPiperhadreceivedasecondcallback.Hisagentwasthrilled.TheparthewasreadingforwasacharacternamedTalbottReynolds.Afictionalmonarchwhoruledanear-futureutopiaofwarriorsandmaidens,Talbottexistedabovecorruption.Thecharacterwasanimmortal,apoliticalsaintofsorts.Aprincipalroleinsometelevisionpilotinpreproduction.
Itwentwithoutsayingtheprojectsoundedlikeuttercrap.Anothercharactercutfromwholecardboard.Pipersighedtohimself.Regardless,itwasashopwindow.Facetime.Hehadn’tworked,notasingletelevisioncommercialorcartoonvoiceover,nothing,foralmostayear,andhewasseriouslyunderwateronhiscondo.
Ifneedbehe’dsurrenderhiscareertosadindependentproductions.Pilotsthatnevergotpickedupbyanetwork.He’dkowtowtofilmschoolauteursfundedwithlegalizedmarijuanamoney,whodidn’tknowakeylightfromalensfilter.Thushe’dalwaysfindhimselfre-blockingeverysceneandadvisingthecameraman,teachingthedirectorhowtoimplyacounternarrativethroughplacementoftheprincipalactors.
Granted,today’shiringcrewlookedtobeanotchbeloweventheusualHollywoodoutsidertypes.Themenwhoshookhishandabradedhispalmwiththeircalluses.Theysmelledofsweat.Theydrankcansofbeeratafoldingtableastheyloudlyarguedthemeritsofeachactor.Theirfingernailswererimmedwithdirt,andnosurgeonhadinjecteddermalfillersorstretchedtheskintoerasethecreasesintheirunsmiling,sun-damagedfaces.
ThecastingdirectorwasnamedClem.Just“Clem.”Hisknuckleswerebrownwithscabsofdriedblood,andhelookedmorelikeashopsteward.ClemshookPiper’smanicuredhandandgavehimtheauditionscript.He’dlikedPiper’sperformanceasRonaldReagan,thetimehe’dplayedhiminacablenetworkdocumentaryaboutthepresidentbeingshot.Clempumpedhishandandgushed,“Youweregreat,thewayyougrabbedyourgutsandkeptnot-dyingfortwohours.”
Amanwithabrokennoseandmutilatedcauliflowerearslikecabbagesstucktoeithersideofhisbaldheadsteppedupandintroducedhimselfasthecinematographer.HisnamewasLaManly.Nobodygavealastname.LaManlyhadadees-n-dohsaccentandaswastikatattooedonthesideofhisthickneck.LaManlylookedPiperupanddownandmuttered,“Sweetthreads.”
Thecastingcallhaddictatedforapplicantstowearasuitandtieasbefittedtheleaderofthefreeworld.Combedhair,shinedshoes.PipertookthistoheartandbrokeouthisbestSavileRowsingle-breasted.Aquickassessmentofthecompetitionassuredhimhemightgettherolebasedonhis
suit,alone.Theothersheretoreadwereromanticleadspasttheirprime.Handsomemenwho’dskatedontheirlanternjawsandjuttingbrows.Theywerewoodenactorswhospecializedinwoodencharacters:judges,lawyers,familydoctors.
Whensomeonecalledhisname,Pipertookhismarkbeforethevideocamera.Aposterstoodonatripodbesideit.Thehandwrittenlinesranlikealistundertheheading“ReadtheBelow.”Anassistantdirectorputhiseyetotheviewfinderasifcheckingthefocus.Withonehand,hedirectedPipertomovesidewaysahalf-step.Themanworeaplaidflannelshirt,unbuttoned,andashebentovertheviewfindertheshirtfellopentorevealastainedwife-beaterT-shirtandashoulderholstercontainingapistol.
Theassistantdirectorpointedastubbyindexfinger,makinghishandlikeafleshygun,andsignaledtobegin.Thethuggishcrewsatatanearbytableandwatchedhimonmonitors.
“Fellowcitizens,”Piperbegan,channelinghisbestReagan,“Ispeaktoyouastheheadofyournewgovernment.”ThesecrettodoingReaganwastokeepaslightburrinhisvoice.“Throughouthistory,powerhasbeenearned.”AnotherReaganrulewasthatthesilencebetweenwordswasasimportant,perhapsevenmoreimportant,thanthewordsthemselves.
“Historically,powerwasawarded,”Pipercontinued,“tothosewhodemonstratedit.Nonebutthebestwarriorswerecrowned.”
Piperloweredhischinalmostimperceptibly.“Nowpoliticshasdegradedpowertoapopularitycontest.”Bygazingup,hispupilshalfhiddenunderhistilted-downbrow,heimplieddisdain.Themenacingdisapprovalofacavemanwhoseeyesweresodeepsetastobelost.
Thesmallgroupofactorsawaitingtheirturncouldlearnavaluablelesson.PiperhadplayedLear.He’dplayedMoses.
“Untiltoday,”helectured,“modernleadershavepanderedfortheirpositioninsteadoffightingtoearnit.”Hepaused,lettingthewordstakeroot.
“SincethebeginningoftheIndustrialRevolution,”Pipersaid.Itwasatrickysegue.Abetterwriterwould’vemadeasmoothertransition,butanactorwhoknewhiscraftcouldalwaysfixtheflawsinbadwriting.Oftenbysimplyrepeatingtheopeningphrase,thus:“SincethebeginningoftheIndustrialRevolution,globalforceshaveimposedagreatstandardizationonhumanity.”
Withoutbreakingeyecontactwiththecamera,Pipercouldsensetherepetitionwasasuccess.Thecastingdirectornoddedandjottedanoteinhisscript.Twoothermen,aproducerandthescreenwriter,exchangedsmilesandcockedeyebrows.Nofeetwerebouncingwithimpatience.Noonedrummedhisfingertipsonthetable.Eventhedirectorceasedchewingthedoughnuthe’dbeenstuffingintohismouth,
Pipercontinued,“Inourlifetimewe’velivedunderthetyrannyofstandardizedtimezones,standardizedmeasurementsfortemperatureanddistance,requiredcodesofbehaviorandapprovedmethodsofexpression...”Therewasnoellipsehere,butPiperaddeditsothesubsequentpassagewouldhavegreatereffect.“...theseuniversalconventionshaverobbedusofourlives.”
Herehesmiledtoindicateanewsegue.Piperwatchedthedigitalcounteronthecamera.Theywantedthisbroughthomeinfourminutes,andhewouldhitthatmarkexactly.
“Theheroicactsoftodayhavefreedusfromthetyrannyoflong-standingconventions.”Hedrawledeachword,stretchedit,savoredit,togivethemessageaRoosevelt-fireside-chatjovialness.“Fromtodayforward,thepeoplewhorunournationareprovenheroes.”
Piper’sinflectionturnedpatronizing,pureHydeParksmug,dismissiveofanyfearshisaudiencemightharbor.Tolandthespeech,hepuncheditupwithJFKbombast.
“Thesenewleadersarethewarriorswhohavedeliveredusall,”hehalf-shouted.“Forgenerationstocome,theseliberatorswillsteerournation’snewcourseoffreedom.”
Thesewords,Piperknewtheydidn’tneedtomakesense.Theyonlyneededtoevokeapositiveemotionalreaction.
“Fromthisgreatday,”hedecreed.HisvoicesoundedasifitissuedfromagranitemouthonMountRushmore.ItseemedtoechoacrosstimeliketheGettysburgAddress.
“Fromthisgreatdaywerejectthelevelinganddumbing-downimposedbyglobalstandards,andwedevoteourlives...”Piperpausedasifovercomewithemotion.“Totherestorationofouridentity
andoursovereignty.”
Adecentactorstaystruetothescript.
Agreatactorknowswhentoimproviseanddrivehomeapointthewriterhasoverlooked.Goingoffscriptwouldeitherscuttlethisjoborclinchit.
GivingthecameraanLBJglower,Piperadlibbed.“Beforewecancreateanythingoflastingvalue,wemustfirstcreateourselves.”
Stillgazingsquarelyintothelens,headded,“Ithankyou.”
Fourminutes,exactly.
Theroomeruptedwithapplause.Therough-hewncrewmembersrosetostand,whistlingandstompingbootedfeet.EvenPiper’scompetition,hisfellowactorswho’dbeensittingonthesidelinesawaitingtheirturnstoread,eventheybegrudginglyapplaudedhistriumph.
Theknuckle-draggingcastingdirector,Clem,lurchedforward,hismeatyfacewreathedwithasmile.HeslappedPiperontheback,saying,“Yourbitabout‘creatingourselves’...sheerbrilliance.”Hethrustforwardasheetofprintedpaper,saying,“Beforeyouleaveyourmark,”indicatingthemaskingtapeonthefloor,“wouldyoureadthisintothecameraaswell?”
Withrough,scarredfingersClemofferedawhiteindexcard.Writtenonitwasasinglesentence.Piperreadthewordsandhandeditback.Hefixedthecamerawithasterngazeanddeliveredtheline:
“Donotseekitout,”Piperproclaimed.“Thelistdoesnotexist.”
Fromoff-camerathedirectorsaid,“Nextline.”
Piperread,“Asmileisyourbestbulletproofvest!”Astillphotographerhoveredinhisperipheralvision,snappingpictures.
Thedirectorordered,“Keepingrolling.Nextline.”
Pipernarrowedhiseyesandgavethecameraasagelookbeforereading,“Thedivinewagesaconstantbattletoproveitselftous.”
Minusacontext,heperformedhisbest.Reading,“Thosewhodemandpeacearethepeoplewhoalreadyholdpower.”
Theymadehimrepeatthelistofjingoisticslogansuntilheknewthembyheartandwasnolongerreading.Hewasreciting.Withoutpause,agoferhandedhimalargeblue-blackbook.Itwasroughlythesizeofacoffeetablealbum,thetypeusuallyfilledwithglossyartwork.Thecoverwasblanksaveforthetitleingildedlettering.AdjustmentDaybyTalbottReynolds.Hischaracter.Thephotographersnappedpicturesofhimholdingthebookopen,takenfromeveryangleanddistance.
Nooneapplaudedbutasenseoftheirdeep,noddingapprovalfilledtheroom.BeforePipercouldleavehismark,thedirectortoldhimtoreadfromthefirstpage.
Piperstudiedthetext.Printedacrossthetopofthepageinalargetypefacewas,“DeclarationofInterdependence.”
Therewerenoprotesters.TheNationalMall,stretchingfromtheCapitolBuildingtotheWashingtonMonument,itshould’vebeenfilledwithprotesters.Milling,chanting,sign-wavinghippy-dippyhordes.Millionsofantiwardemonstrators.Thephonesinhisoffice,theofficeofSenatorHolbrookDanielsonthefifthflooroftheHartSenateOfficeBuilding,thephonesshouldberingingoffthehook.Thephonesweresilent.Noneofthemillionsoffuriousemailshisstaffhadexpectedwereappearinginhissenatorialinbox.
No,theonlysignofactivitywasasmallcrewofconstructionworkers.Fromhishighwindow,SenatorDanielswatchedthemexcavatingawidetrench.ItwasroughlythedimensionsoftwoOlympic-sizedswimmingpoolsplacedend-to-end.TheworkwastakingplaceonthelawnbetweenFirstAvenueandtheCapitolsteps.
Thestupidblue-collarslobsdoingthedigging,thesenatoralmostpitiedthem.Hesettledintoaleatherdeskchairinhisair-conditioned,public-financedinnersanctum.Iftheyweren’tgoingofftodiesoon,theirsonswouldbe.Theirsonsandgrandsonsornephews.Theirapprenticesandtheir
journeymen.Thesurplusmalesofageneration.
WiththevoteontheNationalWarResolutiononlydaysaway,angryandfrightenedAmericansshould’vebeenbeatingdownhisdoor.Nonewere.Notonlywashisofficesilent,buteveryofficeinthebuildingseemedashushedasachurch.HisassistantsandpageshadcheckedwiththeswitchboardandtheITguys.Thephonesandserverswereworking.
HisbestguesswasthatAmericansweretoofracturedalongthefaultlinesofpersonalidentitypolitics.Itseemedthatnoonecaredaboutothersbeingcompelledtogirdtheirloinsandperish.Recentpoliticshadeffectivelybrandedyoungmenasaninternalenemy—perpetratorsofrapeculture,schoolshooters,andneo-Nazis—andmedia-frightenedAmericansweregladtoseethesebadapplesculled.
Themassmediahaddoneitsstate-instructedjobtodemonizedraft-agemen,greasingtheskidsfortheirinduction.
Beforetheendofthisweek,electedfederalofficialswouldvoteunanimouslytoreinstatethemilitarydraftandcommittwomillionyoungmentofightingawarinNorthAfrica.Likewise,theleadersofadozencountriesinWestAfricaandtheMiddleEastwouldpitanequalnumberofyoungmenagainsttheAmericans.
Grimbuttrue,rumorhaditthatthiswouldbethefastestworldwarinhistory.Oncethecombatantsweremusteredalongthebattlefront,athermonuclearstrikewoulderadicateeveryoneinvolved.Anonexistentterroristgroupwouldbeblamedforthenuke,andthewarringnationscouldwithdrawwithnolossofface.Thewarwouldbedeclareda“draw.”
Yetanotherwartoendallwars.
Fromhisofficewindow,Danielsmarveledathowfastthepitwasbeingdug.InD.C.publicworksprojectslastedforyearswhilethepartiesinvolvedlinedtheirpocketswithtaxpayermoney.WhatevermotivatedthecrewjustacrossConstitutionAvenue,ithadtobesomethingbeyondthemonetary.Evenashewatched,theearth-movingequipmentsunkdeeper,almostoutofsight,asthemoundofdirtgrewtalleralongoneedgeofthevasthole.
TheplansforthiswarhadbeenunfoldingsincethefirstoftheMillennialgenerationhadbeenborn.TheCensusBureauhadrecognizedthattheMillennialswouldbethelargestdemographicinnationalhistory.They’dbehealthyandwelleducated,andeventuallythey’dallwantrespectandpower.ThedynamichadplayeditselfoutincountrieslikeRwandaandIvoryCoast,wheresurplusyoungmenhadsparkedcivilwarsuntilthenationalinfrastructurehadbeendestroyedandtheentirepopulationreducedtogrindingpoverty.
Foratime,AmericanofficialshadkeptthelidonthishumanpowderkegbydosingtheboyswithRitalin.Afterthat,peacecameintheformofendlessonlinegamingandpornography—allcovertlysuppliedbygovernmentcontractors.Despitethoseeffortsthisgenerationwaswakinguptoitsmortality.Theywantedmorethandrugged,time-wastingnumbness.
UnlesstheUnitedStatescouldresolveasizableportionofitsrestlessbad-boyproblem,thisnationwouldbedoomedtothesamemiseryasHaitiandNigeria.America’sversionoftheArabSpringwasjustaroundthenextcorner.
Today,theMillennialmaleswerealreadycommittingskyrocketingratesofviolentcrimeinplaceslikeChicago,Philadelphia,andBaltimore.Theywerehackingintostatesecretssoitwasvitaltoimplementthenewwarandpurgetheyouthbulge.Ifthepublicevercaughtwindofthisplan,itmightleadtoarevolution.Familiesfightingtosavetheirsons.Menfightingtosavethemselves.
Asfarastheirlovedonesneedknow,theseyoungmenwoulddieheroes.They’dventureintobattleliketheirforefathersandsacrificetheirlivesforthecomfortandsecurityoftheirfellowAmericansbackhome.
Thesenatorlookeddownontheworkmendiggingawayintheafternoonsun.SweatinginthehumidPotomacsummer.Hesmirked,consideringhowinafewweekstherewouldbeasizablesurplusofwomen.Feminismwouldfadeout,andladieswouldhavetoplayniceorriskdyingaloneandbeingdevouredbytheircats.Lesssocialupheaval,moreavailablebabes.ForSenatorDanielsandmenlikehim,thewarresolutionwasawin-win.
Farbelowhim,thelaborersswarmedlikeants.Likeobedientdronesdoingthebiddingoftheirmaster.
Atlasttherealityoftheirprojectdawnedonthesenator.Itwasobvious.Theywerepreemptivelybuildingamemorialtothesoldierswho’dbedeadbyHalloween.Thiswassomeone’sextremelyefficientidea.Risingfromthatominouspitwouldbeawhite-marbleconfectionofGreco-Romanstatuesandcolumns,theusualemotionallycatharticfrou-frou.Itmadesensetobeginconstructionnow,evenbeforethewarwasdeclared.Thefasterthedeadcouldbehonored,thefastertheycouldbeforgotten.
Herewasanexpeditedshrine.Beingerectedevenbeforethecollegestudentsandpizzadeliveryboysandskateboardersreceivedtheirdraftnotices.Proactively,theirnameswerealreadybeingchiseledintomarbleplaquestohonorthedead.
Nowtheworldmadeperfect,logicalsense.Andslowly,betweenthesoftnessofhisleatherchair,thelulloftheairconditioning,andtheunassailedsilenceofhisoffice,SenatorHolbrookDanielsdriftedtosleep.
Frankie’sdadtoldhimthatsometimesfiremenneedtoburndownabadhouseonpurposeinordertosaveagoodneighborhood.Atypeofback-burn,theycalleditwhenfightingforestfires.
ThefatherandsonhadbeendrivingaroundinthewhiteFireMarshallcarwiththespecialstickeronthebackwindowandtheredlightonthedashboard,exceptthelightwasn’tswitchedon.Theydrovepastspray-paintedhouses,houseswithwoodnailedoverthegonewindows,houseswhereonlyabasementwasleft,likeaswimmingpoolfilledwithweedsandtreesgrowinginside.
TheydrovetoFrankie’soldschoolfrombeforehestartedremotelearningonthecomputerintheirkitchenathome.AfterthedaythatFrankie’sdadcalledtheLastStraw.Afterabunchofkidsdog-piledhimatlunch.Aftertheytookturnsstompinghisheadagainstthelunchroomfloor,somethingFrankiecouldn’tremember,evenaftertheteachershadshownthemthelunchroomvideoandthecameramoviessomekidshadpostedonWorldStarHipHop.
Today,sameasbefore,hisdadbroughtaSuperSoaker,thedeluxemodelwiththebiggertank,madetoshootlongerandfarther.
Firemenhaveaspecialkey,hisdadshowedhim.Itopenseverydoor.Anotherspecialkeyshutsoffthesecurityalarm.HetoldFrankienottomindaboutthesecurityvideos.Thehigh-upcameraswatchedthemgodowneveryhallway,walkingpastFrankie’soldlocker,pastthespotwherenobodydidanythingbesidesvideotapehimgettinghisfacestomped.Anytraceofbloodhadbeenscrubbedaway.
Sameasusual,hisdadworkedthepumpactionontheSuperSoaker,sprayingeverybulletinboardhungwithpaper.Hosingeveryschoolspiritbanner,withthatservicestationsmell.Astheystrolledthehallways,Frankie’sdadsquirt-gunnedthesmelloffillingthelawnmowerandcleaningpaintbrushes.Hesprayedtheceilingtilesuntiltheyweresosaturatedtheywarpedandsagged.
ThiswashissecretrecipeofStyrofoamgrounddowntojustitslittlewhiteballs,dissolvedingasolinewithVaselinestirredintomakeitthick,tomakeitstickysowhenhesprayedthegunkontheceilingitneverdripped,andwhenhesprayeditonwindowglassitdidn’trundown.
He’daddedsomepaintthinnerasasurfactant,hisdadexplained,tobreakthesurfacetensionsotheoozewouldn’tbeadupbutwouldcoateverythingmoreevenly.
ItwassummervacationsoFrankieknewnohamstersorgoldfishlivedinanyclassroom.
Hisdadtookaimandsoakedasecuritycamerathatwasspyingonthem.
Afterthedayofthelunchroombeat-downFrankiecouldn’tremember,hisdadneverlookedathim.IfhisdadlookedinhisdirectionallhesawwasthescarthatnowrandownthesideofFrankie’sface.AredlineshapedlikethecurvededgeofaNikebasketballshoewherethecheekskinhadtorn.Evennowwalkingdowntheemptysummerhallwaylinedwithlockersbutnopadlocks,Frankiecouldfeelhisdadsneaklooksatthescar.Frankie’sdadneversmiledathim,notafterthatday.Hescowled,buthewasscowlingatthescar.Theghostofthatfinallaststomp.Thelastdayinpublicschool.
Liningthehalls,bigpostersshowedsmilingkidsfromeveryplaceontheplanet.Holdinghandsunderarainbowwithcoveringtherainbowthewords“LoveComesinEveryColor.”
Hisdadhosedtheposter.Doingso,thelookonhisdad’sfacewasworsethananyscar.Fromhisexpression,hewantedtobesprayingthisfirejuiceintotheeyesandmouthsofthosekidswho’dlefttheirfootprintsonFrankiefortherestofhislife.
ThewholetimeFrankie’sdadsuper-soakeredtheschoolwalls,heyelledstufflike,“Eatit,culturalMarxism!”And,“Getfucked,vibrantethnicdiversity!”
Hisdadhosedtheposteruntilitsaggedandsliddownthewetwall.Bythenthesoakerwasemptyandhepitcheditalongways,almostallthewaytotheschooloffice.
“Inalittlebit,kid,”saidFrankie’sfather,“I’mgoingtodoyouasolidone.”
Frankiecouldn’tpicturethat.Thekidswho’dkickedhisass,theystillwenthere.Noneofthemhadbeensenthome.Butithelpedtoknowthataftertodaynobodywouldgohere.
“Maybetheycaughtusoff-guardonce,”hisdadsaid,“butwe’llgetourrevenge.”
Frankiefollowedhisdadintoabathroomandwaitedwhilehewashedhishands.
Hisdadsaid,“Nobodyisgoingtoshitonthisfamily,everagain.”
Beforetheywentouttothecar,hisdadtookouthisphoneandplacedacall.Hesaid,“Hello,mayIspeaktoyournewsdirector?”Withonehandheduginhispantspocket.“ThisisFireMarshallBenjaminHugh.We’recurrentlyrespondingtoreportsthattheGoldenParkElementarySchoolisablaze.”Fromhispockethewithdrewabookofmatches.Heendedthecallandplacedanother.
“Hello,mayIspeaktotheCityDesk?”Frankie’sfatherheldthematchesouttohisson.Frankietookthem.Waiting,hisfatherturnedawayfromthephoneandsaid,“Todayisjustpractice.Justtoseehowmanyshowup.”
Intothephone,hesaid,“I’vegottenwordthatarsonistshavestruckanotherlocalschool.”Helistened.“It’sGoldenParkElementary.”
Frankiestoodby,holdingthematches,justashe’dstoodbyatMadisonMiddleSchoolandImmaculateHeartandthethreeschoolsbefore.Frankiefiguredthiswouldbethelastschool,andthathisdadhadonlyburnedtheotherssothisonewouldn’tlookspecial.Whenhisdadwasfinishedwiththelastphonecall,thenFrankieknewwhatcamenext.
Inhisheart,Frankieknewthatthebadpartsoftheworldwouldhavetobeburnedawaytosavethebestparts.
“Frankie,you...,”hisdadkneltinfrontofhimandtookbothofFrankie’ssmallhandsinhisown,saying,“Son,thesedipshitswillpayyoutributefortherestofyourlife!”HeletfalloneofthesmallhandsandreacheduptostrokethescaronthesideofFrankie’sinnocent,trustingface.“Myboy.Youwillgrowtobecomeaking!Andyoursonswillbeprinces!”Heliftedtheonesmallhandhestillheldandputittohisownlips.
Asaspecialtreat,hisfatherletFrankielightthematch.
Afterthattheywentoutsidetocounthowmanyreportersandcameramenwouldshowup.Atfirstitwasonlyacoupletelevisioncrews,butnoweverystationcame,plussomeforeignersintownfortheserialarsonstory.Thenewspapersentateam.Evenahelicopter.Radiostationssentpeople.Frankie’sdadtooknotesandstrategizedhisclearestanglesandbestshots,toseehoweasyhisworkwouldbewhentheactualdaycame.
OnlythendidFrankie’sdaddial9-1-1.
Beforeeverythingyou’vereadsofarinthisbook...beforethisbookwasabook,itwasthedreamofWalterBaines.
Backintheworldyoustillknow...backinBeforeTimes,here’showWalterhadalwaysdreamedofdoingit.
OnShasta’stwenty-fifthbirthdayhe’dsuggesttakingabus,thebusgoinguphill,theonethatmostdayscarrieshermomandtheotherhousecleanerstowork.He’dwearhisluckyLamborghiniscarfevenifit’ssooldit’sturningbackintodirtywool.
Thetwoofthemwouldcatchthelastbusofthenight,followingtheroutepastthathouse.NotthehouseMrs.ShastacleansbuttheonewithScarlettO’Haracolumnsliningthefrontporchandtherooflinesandlightningrodsandred-brickchimneysrisingabovetheancestraloaktrees.It’sthehouseShastahasalwaysgawkedatthewayadogeyeballsasquirrel,likethatpileofbricksandivyisherpornography.OnestoppastthehouseinquestionWalterwouldstepoffthebusandwalkbacktowherethewindowswouldbedark.Whenshepulledaway,he’dgether,tight,aroundone
wristandtug,gently,saying,“It’sasurprise,”leadingherpastastatuethatcreepshimout.
It’samonkeymadeoutofthatmetalwhereifyoutoucheditonacolddayyou’dbetouchingitforever,andanyonewhotouchedyouwouldstickaswouldpeoplewhotouchedthemuntileveryoneintheworldwouldbetrappedtogetherlikeIce-nineinVonnegut.Thelittlestatuebringstomindalittlemonkeydressedasaclown,maybetorideahorseonlywithhisfacepaintedwhite.LikeinJapan.
Walterwouldcrossthedampgrass,beyondtheKabuki-facedmonkey-clownstatuette,pastthelittleyellowsignforthealarmcompany.
Tomarktheoccasion,WalterwouldpullouthisluckypipeandtampthebowlfullofHinduKush.Everthegentleman,he’dofferShastathefirsthit.
He’dpathishippockettodoublecheckforabulge,aroundbulgelikeold-schoolKennedyhalfdollars,likepiratedoubloonsorchocolategeld—inrealityonlygoldfoil-wrappedcondomshismadistributeswholesale.Hisfingertipswouldtracetheoutlineofsomethingelse,coiled,alargercircle,aloopofsomethingtuckeddeepinhisbackpocket.
Walterwouldleadher,shivering,ontotheporch,whereandwhenshe’dhidebehindacolumn,standingsideways-skinnyintheshadows,blockedfromthestreet.She’dbetrustinghimbutbereadytorun.Thenandthere,he’dsay,“Letmegogetyourbirthdaypresent,”andhe’ddisappeararoundthesideofthehouse.
She’llcowerthere,hearingcricketschirpandthehissofin-groundsprinklers.Smellingthisandthat.Thenighttimeaircarriesswimmingpoolchlorineandthevanillafabricsoftenerofbillowingsteamfromsomedryervent.Aprivatesecuritypatrolwillcruisebyplayingitssearchlightoverthehedges.Sinceherfinger-paintingdays,thishousehasstoodhere,filledwithhistory,neverchanging,aplacewhereshecouldneverimaginefeelingafraid.Hereandnowshe’shuggingherselfbehindacolumn,lookingonherphoneforataxi,surfingtheNeighborhoodWatchsitestoseeifanyone’sreportedtwoprowlers.
Thefrontdoorcreaksopen.Asifbyitself,thepaneled,white-painteddoorwillswingasideonitsbrasshinges.Nightmareslow.Beforeshecanboltdownthesteps,comesawhisperfromthedarknessinsidethefronthallway,Walter’svoicewhispering,“HappyBirthday,Shasta.”
Walterwilledgehisheadoutuntiltheporchlightputsawhitemaskonhisface,waveahandforhertocomeinside.He’llwhisper,“It’sokay.”
She’llstandtherebetweenthefearshefeelsandwhatshewantsmost:theendofallfear.
He’llsay,“Hurry.”
She’llgivetheempty,darkstreetonelastlookandstepinside.
He’llshutthedoor.Thetwoofthemwillkissuntilhereyesadjustsoshecanlookaroundinthehalf-light.Takenoteofthebrasschandelierholdingaforestoffakecandlesabovetheirheads.Checkoutthestairwaycurvingdown,outofthedarkness.Thecarved,leather-scentedwoodofeverything.Fromsomewhere,Walterwillhearaclockticking,loudagainstthesilence.Littlesmearsoflightwillbounceoffaswinging,polishedsilverpendulum.Flickerinshadesofblueoffthemirroraboveafireplace.
ThethingaboutShastaisthetasteofhermouth.Inhisexperienceagirlcanbebeautifulwithallthetitsintheworld,longlegsandabuttonnose,butabad-tastingmouthmakesheronlyasgoodasporn.Shasta,theinsideofhermouthremindshimofhigh-fructosecornsyrup,likesoakingMaraschinocherriesstewedwithred#5andgelatinuntilhertonguehasthemouth-feelofaHostessfruitpieflakingsugarlikeababysnakesheddingitssweet,dead,sweetskin.UntileveryFrenchkissishimdeep-throatingasemi-molten,sugar-coatedsnake,likealittlegartersnakeoragardenvarietybrownboa.LikeWalter’smouthislockedovernightinadeliciouscombinationreptilehouseandDanishpastryshop.
She’llwhisperaboutthealarmsystem,andhe’llpointupward.Hergazewillfollowhisarmtoacameramountedhighononewall.Whenandwherehe’llgiveherasilentthumbs-up,A-Okay.He’llexplainthathehackedthesystem.Beforetheyevenboardedthebus,Walterdeactivatedeverything,remotely.Hefoundawindowunlockedintheback.He’dbeenplanningthisforweeks.Noonewilleverknowtheywerehere.
Asirrefutableevidencethathe’smorethanaslack-jawed,single-digitbraincellburner,he’llexplain
aboutnetworkenumerationandexploitation.Walterwillboastabouthisgeniuscryptographickeyswhileleadinghertowardthestairs.
Shastawillbeheeldragging,whisperingabouthomeownerswithshotguns.Aboutstand-your-groundlaws.
Ifanyonecatchesthem,Walterwillpromisetolie.He’llswearthatheluredherheretostrangleher.He’saserialkiller.He’sgotvictimsburiedinshallowgravesallovertheAmericanWest.He’llpretendtoajurythathe’dtoldherthiswashishouse.He’dplannedtoeatFrootLoopsoutofthebowlhe’dmakefromherskull.Usingherblood,he’dwriteHelterSkelterontheglassdooroftheSub-Zerowinecooler.Asanalmost-butcheredwoman,she’llgetoffscotfree.
Walterwillsaythathe’salreadysnoopedaround.Noone’shome.He’llreachintohisbackpocketandshowherthecoilofthinwire.It’sreadyforwhenthepolicefriskhim:Agarrote,forstranglingher,withasmallwoodenpegattachedtoeitherendsohecanpullittight.It’sherget-out-of-jail-freecard.Seeingcondomsandamurderweaponwillbealltheinsurancepolicyshe’llneed.Shecanrelax.
Sexissex,butsexplusdangerisgreat.TheloomingthreatofbeingserialkilledorgettingjailtimewillbringdownherjuicesfasterthangreenM&M’s.Thebothofthematangledknot,he’llgoatituntilthey’rehalfdead.They’llchristeneveryroom.Ifthere’sasafe,behindapaintingorasecretpanelinthewall,Walterwillfindit.He’llpresshisearnearthedialandlistentothetumblersspin.Beforeshesaysnotto,he’llthrowthehandleandopentheheavydoor,takingonlyenoughcashfortwofirst-classone-wayticketstoDenver.
InDenver,he’lltakeheronanotherbusridetowherebighousessitfarapart.He’llshowheronhisphonehowhereverse-engineeredthesecuritymonitoringsoftware,howeasy,andshe’llfollowhimaroundthesidesofahouseuntiltheyfindawindowunlatched.
Beforehereandnow,she’sonlyknownhimassomebakedchode.Ahammerednobodywhocanonlyaffordditchweedshakefullofseedsandstems.Helivesinhisma’sbasement,wheretheplumbinggrowlslikeastomachlikethesoundofanimpendingbadsmell.Shastalikeshimokay,butnotsomuchthatshe’dmarryhim.
ByDenver,she’sboughtintohissecretRobinHoodbad-boyside.Thewayhecanopendoors—abracadabra—andhumantrafficthetwoofthemintorich,forbiddenworlds.Aftertheymakeloveonabearskinrugandthrowthegoopycondomintoaroaringfireinastonefireplaceunderacrystalchandelier,aftertheydrinkstolenwineandshewashestheglassesandputseverythingback,thenhe’lllocateanothersafe.Thisone,hiddenunderthefalsebottomofaseeminglyemptybathroomcabinet,he’llhaveitopeninaflashandwithdrawjustthemoneytheyneedtoflytoChicago.
Thatbad-boyWalterwillcompletelywinherover.ChicagowillbearepeatofDenver.MinneapoliswilltakethemtoSeattle.Asasignofhernewfoundaweandrespect,shestartsreferringtohisjunkasthePenisdeMilo.InMinneapolissheslipsupandcallshim“daddy.”SeattleleadstoSanFrancisco,wherethey’llsneakpastthedoormanatsomeartdecoskyscraperthatthey’lljusthappentobepassingonenight.He’llhacktheelevatorcodeandridetothepenthouse.Usinghisphone,he’llshowhertheviewfromeverysecuritycameratoprovenobody’shome.WhileShastastandslookoutneartheelevator,he’lltripthelocks,thenhurryherinside.He’llremindheroftheback-upscenario.Him:Serialkiller.Her:Victim.Thetwoofthem,outlaws.Thenextdaythey’llbestrollingalongadockinSausalitowherehetargetsayacht.Theytakeitoutintothebay,notsailing,he’snotthatmuchofashow-off.He’llusethemotorandspendasunnydayonthewater.Onthedeck,catchingsomerays,she’llsay,“Showme,again.”Thenandtherehe’llpullthecoiledwireoutofhispocketanddemonstratehoweasilyitfitsaroundherneck.Justtogiveherpeaceofmind.
AlockerwillyieldanarrayofbikinisallinperfectSizeShasta.He’sneitheratitmannoralegmansoshe’shisphysicalideal,stretchedoutonadeckchair,suckingdownDurbanPoisonuntilherskinburnsthecolorofdeepdishchilicheesePepperoniStix.Thatsameevening,he’llmoortheyachtandlookforanewsafe,thisonehiddenbyaspicerackcamouflagedbehindapanelinthegalley.ThemoneyhefindswillgetthembothdowntoSanDiego.
Stillthey’retrespassersinparadise.Shemightbehavingaball,touringtheglamorouslifewithMr.DoucheDanger.Butshe’llnevermarryhim,andheknowsthat.
Aslongashervacationtimeholdsout,they’llhopfromSanDiegotoNewOrleanstoMiami.Inawaterfrontvilla,they’llbemakinglove.Inacanopybedbesidebigwindowsthatlookoutontheoceanunderafullmoon.Notaminuteafterthey’vetakeneachothertoHeavenandback,the
bedroomdoorswillburstopen.UniformedmentraintheirsidearmsonShasta.Thelightsblazebright,andshescreams,clutchingdampsheetsoverhernakedbody.NotlikeWalterpracticed,notexactly,shescreams,“He’saserialkiller,”meaninghim.Shescreams,“Hetoldmehelivedhere.”Somuchforheractingskills.Shesays,“Heplannedtostrangulateme!”
Avoiceamongtheuniformsyells,“Police!”Commands,“Putyourhandswherewecanseethem!”
Thisishowitends,theircross-countrycrimespree.BonnieandClydewithoutthebodycount.Withthespitstillwetoneachother,he’llclimboutofbedandfindhispants.He’llshowthepolicehisdriver’slicense.Keepinghishandsintheair,hispeckerstillstuckoutsoharditshines,stillwavingthefilledcondomlikealittlewhiteflag,he’llcrosstheroomtoanelegantantiqueFrenchdesk.
She’llstillbeinbed,openlyweeping,saying,“ThankGod,thankyou!Hecallsthislove,butheplanstodestroyme!”
Thepolicewon’tallowWaltertoactuallyopenthedeskdrawersohe’lldirectanofficertodoso.Revealedwithin,lyingontopinplainsight,willbeadeedofpropertyownership.Onit,notarizedanddulyrecordedinallpublicrecordswillbethesamenameasonthedriver’slicense.Hisname.Whereandwhen,intheelegantintonationsofalandedaristocrat,he’llexplain,smiling,naked,“Officers,Iownthishouse.”
Inthebed,theweepingwillstop.Shasta’svoicewillask,“Huh?”Thetwoofthemhadbeendrinkingredwine,andtheedgeofherglasswillhaveleftathin,redSalvadorDalimustachecurvingupfromthecornersofhermouth.
He’llexplain.Heownedeverything.InDenver,inSeattle,everyhouseishis.Heknewthecodes,thecombinationstothesafes.Thecashhetookwashisown.Heleftthewindowsunlockedandtippeddoormentolooktheotherway.Eventheyachtandthebikinis.Secretly,Walterdialed9-1-1tobringthecopsatthis,theperfectmoment.
Blithely,he’llpulloffthecondomandcastitside.Notonlyisheabrashbad-boydouchebagwiththestealthandcunningtoskatethroughlifeandshowagirlagoodtime,he’salsorich.He’llbethesameoldWaltershelikedbefore,onlyloaded.Theregularhim,butwithsomuchmoretolove.
Withthepoliceofficerslookingon,theirgunslowered,himstillnaked,hernaked,he’llkneelonthefloornearhispants.He’llreachintothepocketwherethegarroteishiddenandbringoutaring.He’llask,“Willyoumarryme?”
Abigdiamondring.
Thereandthen,acrewofcatererswillarrivewithchocolate-dippedstrawberriesandMountainDew–flavoredDoritoswithgarlicpopcornandextraranchdressingontheside.He’llfireupabig,juicypartybowlpackedwithNewPurplePower,andeventhecopswillgreedilypartake.ForthehoneymoonhimandShastawilllivehappilyeverafteronatropicalisleheowns,reforestedwithfieldsofWhiteRhino.Eitherthereormaybeunderageodesicdometerrariumsunkonthebottomoftheoceanwithself-contained,recyclingeverything,surroundedbyanever-changinggalaxyofcolorfultropicalsealife.
Whateverthecase,thisishowhe’llpropose.
There’snotenoughofhim,notyet,toconstituteanyone’severything.Whathehastodois,first,makeashit-tonofmoney.
TweedO’Neillandhercrewbeatthefirstenginecompanytotheragingschoolinferno.Ofcourse,theFireMarshallwasalreadyonthescene.Othertelevisionnewscrewsweresoontofollow,aligningtheirsatellitehook-ups,eachanglingforthebestviewoftheblaze.Itwasthecity’sfourthschooltogoupinflamesrecently.Everyoutletworkedfromthesamepressreleases,butthistimeTweedhadbroughtasecretweapon.
EnterDr.RamanthaSteiger-DeSoto,aseniorprofessorinGenderStudiesattheuniversity.Theladydoctorwasawell-spoken,camera-friendlyeggheadwithherownuniquespinonserialarson.
Tweedhadtextedthedoctorfromthetelevisionstudio,andthetwometupatthecrimesceneasflamesleapthighintothesky.Withthegymnasiumcollapsingslowlybehindthem,sendingupbrightgeysersofsparksandembers,Tweedblockedouttheinterview.Sheandthedoctorstoodatasafedistanceasthecameramanadjustedhisfocusandthesoundtechnicianwiredamicrophonetothelapelofthedoctor’sAnnTaylortrenchcoat.
ThroughherearpieceTweedcouldheartheanchorsdiscussingthefire.Inamomentthey’dthrow
theaudiencetoher,live,onlocation.Sheeyedhercompetition.Nonehadbroughtanythingnewtothestory.TheyweremerelypassingtheFireMarshallfromset-uptoset-up,andhewasgivingeachoutletthesamelistofofficialfacts.
Thedoctorappearedunfazedbythebrightcameralightsandthebillowing,acridsmoke.Someonehadsuggestedarumoredpropanetank,possiblyrelatedtotheschool’skiln,wasliabletoexplodeatanyinstant.NeverthelessDr.Steiger-DeSotolookeddeterminedtovoicehertheoryaboutrecentevents.Standingtall,almostaheadtallerthanTweed,herfrizzyblondehairwastiedupinasensiblebun.Shelookedeveryinchtheno-nonsensesociologistwhostoodreadytoenlightenthetelevisionviewers.
Thecameramanshoulderedhissteadycamandsignaled3-2-1withhisfingers,finallypointingtoindicatethey’dgonelive.
“TweedO’Neillhereatthesceneofyetanotherthree-alarmfire,”Tweedbegan.“Markingthedestructionofafourthlocalschoolthissummer.”
Thecameramanwidenedtheshottoincludebothwomen.
“WithmetonightisDr.RamanthaSteiger-DeSototopresentinsightintothemotivefortheserecentfires.”Tweedturnedtotheelegantacademic.Shetossed,“Yourthoughts,doctor?”
Thedoctorwasn’tfazedbytheattention.“Thankyou,Tweed.”Shefacedthecamerafull-on.“Federalcriminalprofilingshowstheaveragearsonisttobeawhitemalebetweentheagesofseventeenandtwenty-six.Forthisman,theactoffiresettingissexualinnature...”
Asifoncuetherumoredpropanetankexplodeddeepwithinthebuilding,aconcussiveboom-BOOMthatelicitedadeepmoanfromthecrowdpresent.
Thedoctorcontinued,“Forthepyrophiliac,theactofsprayingliquidaccelerantequatestoexpressinghissexualejaculateinasymbolicdegradingrapeofthestructure...”
Collapsingfireandsexmeantratingsgold,butTweedworriedthatthedoctor’slanguagewastoohighbrow.Shetriedtoredirect.“Butwho...?”
Thedoctornoddedsagely.“Self-isolatingmen.Right-wingadherentspoisonedbythetoxicmasculinityoftheso-calledMenGoingTheirOwnWaymovement.Theseareyourculprits.”
Tweedtriedtolightenthetone.“SoMaureenDowdwasright?”shejoked.“Thathavingmenaroundisjusttoohighapricetopayforsperm?”
Thedoctorsmiledweakly.“Forgenerationspopularculturehasbeenpromotingtheideathatallmenwilleventuallyattainhigh-statuspositionsinsociety.Globally,today’syoungmaleshavebeenraisedtofeelentitledtopowerandadmirationasabirthright.”
Tweedknewthestationwascominguponahardbreak.Tocapthesegment,sheasked,“Doctor,howcanwebestdealwithtoday’stroubledyoungmen?”
Backedbythehellishglareofflames,thedoctorproclaimed,“Meningeneralneedtoaccepttheirdiminishedstatusintheworld.”Againstabackdropofsmokeandshouting,sheadded,“Theimpendingwar,forexample,willbeanexcellentopportunityforthemtoearntheacclaimtheycrave.”
Tweedtossedtocommercial.“Thankyou,doctor.ThisisTweedO’Neillatthepointlessdestructionofanothercommunitylandmark.”
Thecameramansignaledthefeedhadcut.
Thedoctorfumbledwithherclip-onmic.Suddenlypensive,sheasked,“What’shedoing?”Sheglaredatsomethinginthemiddledistance.
Tweed’sgazefollowedhers.BothwomenlookedattheFireMarshall.Tweed’simpressionwasthathewastakingaheadcount.Hisattentionseemedtosettleforamomentoneachofthejournalistspresent,andheseemedtobecheckingthemoffalistheheld.Hiseyesmethers.Hishandholdingapendrewalinethroughsomethingonthepaperheldinhisoppositehand.
OnlynowdidTweednoticethelittleboy.Agradeschool–agedchildwithastrangediscoloredmarkrunningdownonesideofhisface.Thentherealitystruckher:Itwassocute.TheDistrictFireMarshallhadbroughthisownlittlesontowatchDaddyatwork.WatchingthetwoTweedmadea
mentalnotetospinthattouchingfather-and-sonmomentintoafeel-goodstoryshecouldpeddletonetworkprogrammers.
ForGarretDawsonitwasthecoffeefilters.Inthekitchen,workingtheMr.Coffee,hefoundtheywerealmostoutoffilters,again.Anotherfivehundredpotsofcoffeegone,anotheryear,morethanayear.
Hewasgrowingold.Garrethadrealizedthatfactwhenhemadeitahabittolookatsomething—ahouseplant,aclock,abook—beforelookingathiswife,Roxanne.Ifhewasattendingapartyandtalkingtoaprettyyoungwoman,somebody’steenageddaughter,forinstance...orevenwatchingabeautifulwomanreadthenewsoncabletelevision...andhelookedfromhersmoothfacedirectlyatRoxanne,itwastoojarring.Inherdayhiswifehadbeenbeautiful,butshewasnolongeryoung.Thusheneededabufferbetweenlookingatsomeoneyouthfulandlookingather.Anashtrayorapipewrench,somethingnot-human.
Atthesametimehenoticedherlookingfromhandsomeactorsinmovies,focusingonherpopcornbeforedirectingherattentionathim.Itmight’vebeenhisimagination.Aprojectionbasedonhisownbehavior.Butitremindedhimthathewasalsogettingolder.
TheTalbottbookputitsowell:
Beautifulpeoplebecomepowerfulbecausetheyrecognizethenatureofpower,early,andfearlosingit.Peoplebeautifulintheiryouthlearntotransferpowerbyinvestingitinsubsequentforms.Theytradetheiryouthforeducation.Theireducationtheyinvestindevelopingcontactsandexpertisein
askill.Theirmoneytheyinvestinredundantformsofpower,back-upresources.
Thatiswhyanexpiringformofmoneyiscrucial.Powerpassedfromgenerationtogenerationintheabstractformofwealthleadstoprivilegeandcorruption.Moneymustnotbehoardedforitsown
sakebutmustbecontinuallyemployedforafruitfulpurpose.
Thecoffeefilterswerethelaststraw.Atthemachineshop,Leonhadcomeathimwithsomecockamamieplantoseizecontrolofthegovernmentandreshapethenation.Itsoundedbogus,butatthispointanythingsoundedbetterthanbuyinganotherfivehundredcoffeefiltersandwatchingthemcountdownhisfinalyears.Hepouredgroundcoffeeintothelastfilterandfilledthemachinewithwater.Heflippedtheswitchtostartbrewing.CallingouttoRoxanneintheotherroom,hesaid,“Coffeereadyinasec.”Headded,“I’mgoingoutforaminute.”
He’dgiveLeonacall.Meethimdownbythetavern.Findoutifthisharebrainedschemewasafor-realproposition.Leonhadgivenhimtheblue-blackbook,whichsaid:
Imaginethere’snoGod.ThereisnoHeavenorHell.Thereisonlyyoursonandhissonandhisson,andtheworldyouleaveforthem.
Roxannecalledfromthediningroom,askingwherehewasheaded.
Ashepulledonhiscoat,hecheckedthepocketsforhiskeysandphone.Hesteppedintothedoorway,whereshesatatthedinnertable,somekindoftaxformsspreadoutinfrontofher.Heanswered,“Weneedcoffeefilters.”
Afteralongpullofsilence,notlookingup,sheasked,“Already?”Garretcouldhearthedefeatinhervoice.Lifewasgoingbyjustasquickforher.Anotherreasontoexploresomeradicaloptions.
Leaningover,hewhispered,“Igotithandled.”Andhekissedherontheforehead.
Therehadbeentheageofreligionwhencitiesweredominatedbytheircathedralormosque.Thedomesandspireshaddwarfedeverystructurethatcoweredaroundthem.Thenhadcometheageofcommerce,andtheskyscrapersofbusinessandflutedcolumnsofbankshaddwarfedthechurches.Factoriesoutgreweventhelargestmosques,andwarehousesovershadowedtemples.Mostrecentlyhadbeguntheageofgovernmentwhenthebuildingsregulatingciviclifehadexplodedonthehorizon.Thesewerevastmonolithscontainingapowerthatreligionandcommercecouldonlydreamofwielding.Thesewereopulentvesselsforprotectingandshowcasingthemightoflawgiversandjudges.
InthefinalweeksbeforetheAdjustment,itwasintothesegreatfortressesthatordinarypeopleventured,pretendingtobeawed,wanderingaroundasiftheyweremerelysightseers.Theysnappedphotographsandpretendedtobelostsotheycouldwanderintorestrictedareasandclaim
innocencewhentheywereapprehendedandaskedtoleave.Theymappedpossibleescaperoutestheywouldneedtobar.Andtheydeterminedthelocationsthatwouldgivethemthemost-clearlinesoffire.
Andastheymarveledbeneaththechandeliersandcranedtheirneckstoseethegloryofthemuralsandthegildedribsoftheloftydomes,theyknewthatfoodhadbuiltthis.Foodthatcould’vebeeneaten.Foodthathadbeentakenfromthem.Andsecurityhadbuiltthesemarbledstairways,securitythatcould’vebeentheirs.Andtheirliveshadbeensiphonedawaysothatthesewallscouldbepaneledwithpolishedmahogany,androsewood,stuffshippedfromaroundtheworldtoaddtothecomfortandpleasureoftherulingelite.Thesehillbilliesandrubeswiththeirslack-jawed,hang-dogexpressions,theypretendedrespect,andtheyactedoutadmirationforthesegrandstatehousesandthegrandpotentateswhoorchestratedtheirlivesfromwithin.
Theywhisperedonetotheother.Theymappedwithvideo.Theybegantoseethemselvesdoingthecoldtasktheyhadsettheirmindsondoing.
Andallknewthetruth:Hoardfoodanditrots.Hoardmoneyandyourot.Hoardpowerandthegovernmentrots.
Insteadofeverystupidpersonhavingonevote,thesmartest,bravest,most-boldwouldhaveonehundredorthreehundredoronethousandvoteswhiletheweakandlazyhadnone.Nolongerwouldthemostproductivebeslavestotheidle.Theidlewouldbemadetowork.
Ontip-toetheytrickledintothehallsofpower.Statelyedificestheirsweathaderectedandtowhichthey’dfortoolongsentthemselvesbyproxy.Theycameaswitnessestosurveythenoblesettingswheretheirliveswouldeitherbeginorend.
Whentheygazedupintothesoaringgranitevaultsordownattheacresofpolishedmarbletheyfelttinyandweak.Butwhentheycrammedintothespectatorsgallery,elbowtoelbow,kneetoknee,formingasinglemass,andtheysurveyedthethinnumbersofthedulyelected,theyfeltinvincible.
Theybridledatbeinggroupedintosmallherdsandherdedbyelderlytourguideswhodictatedbyrotethepoliticallyapprovedmeaningofeachflagandstatue.Theydaredtopicturethegreatchandeliersshottopieces.Theypicturedthegallerieswitheverypaintingslashedandallthestatuarytoppledinajumbletosuggestamassgraveofstoneheadsandseveredfingers.
Theyclosedtheireyestobetterenvisionthetallwindowsofthestatehouseorcourthouseshatteredandsparrowsbuildingnestsintherotunda’sgildedcornicesandniches.
Themedialabeledthissurgeofthecuriousasanuptickinpatriotism.Areengagementofcitizenswiththeirnation.Andonthatcountthemediawascorrect,butnotinthewaytheyassumed.Themediadepictedthepeopleaspilgrimssupplicatingthemselvesbeforetheirbetters.Andthemediaforesawagrowingfutureofpeaceandcooperation,andonthiscounttheywerealsocorrectbutnotinthewaythey’danticipated.
Fortheirpart,thesenewcomerskepttheireyesloweredandfeignedtimidity.Inkeepingwiththeirlowpositionasplainpeopletheysteppedasideindeferenceaseventhelowliestusherorinternschargedthroughtheirranks.
Inthelastdays,thetouristsfloodedintoeverybuildingofgovernment.Then,asifaswitchhadbeenflipped,thegawkershadceased.Thehallswereemptyexceptforthosewhodidbusiness.Theyexchangednodsandshookhandswiththeguardsonduty.Thoseinuniformandthoseinstreetclothesagreeingwiththeireyesaboutwhatneededtohappen.Allpartiesinconspiracytowardtheonedaythey’dacttogether.
Nonebutthesecurityguardtreatedthesepeoplewithrespectbecauseonlytheguardsandpeaceofficersrecognizedfromwhencetherealpowerofthenationarose.
Fornow,crouchedinthestoragespaceunderneaththesouthstairs,Nicksaid,“Idon’tknow.Iusedtolovethepolice.”Theyleanedagainstawallofboxescrammedwitholdbanduniforms.Goldbraidshowedthroughwherethecardboardhadsplit.Brassbuttonsglowedliketreasureinthedimlight.
Shasta’slegswerecramping.Mostlikelytheywerebreathingasbestosandcancerouschalkdust.Talcumpowderwaschalk,andtalccausedcervicalcancer.Theworldteeteredonthebrinkofwar,butShastalikedithere.Thigh-to-thighwithNick.Talkingfeltreal.Nothingimportanteverhappenedoveratelephone.
Thetruth,Nicksaid,usedtobeeasytofind.Thetruthwasinsidethenewspaperuntilitprintedan
obituaryforNick’sdad.Itsaid,“Abelovedhusbandandfather,thedeceaseddiedasaresultofacerebralhemorrhoid...”Thewebpickedupthetypoanditranasahumorpieceonhundredsofnewssites.Evenbecomingameme,typicallyapictureofRonaldReaganorGoreVidalbracketedwiththewordsDiedofa...alongthetopmarginofthepicture,andrunningalongthebottom,...cerebralhemorrhoid!!
Thewordeveryonewaslookingforwashemorrhage;Nick’sfatherhadbeenmowingthelawnwhenananeurysminhisbrainhadburst.Justthatoneword,andthenewspapercouldn’tgetitright.
Shastatookpityonhim.Shetriedtoexplain.
Dr.BrollyinMethodsoftheMedia,he’dexplainedhowmodernprintjournalism,dailynewspaperreporting,whatwethinkofwhenwethinkofobjective,thatbalancedtruthwaskilledbyCraigslist.CraigslistandMonsterandBackpageandeBay.Newspaperprofitshadalwayscomefromthesaleofclassifiedads.Thosepagesandpagesofpuppiesforsale,apartmentsforrent,usedcars,jobs,andSWMseekingSWF,thosehadbeenthefoundationuponwhichrestedthemassiveedificeoftheFourthEstate.
Allofthoseadsforgaragesalesandyardsalesandseal-pointSiamesekittens,thosepeopleseekingtobuyWWIIsouvenirsorFiestawareorsplit,seasonedfirewood,thoseweretheunderpinningsoftheoldestpoliticaldynasties.Atanickeloradollarperword,thosepageshadbeenthegoldminethathadfinancedthehighculture.TheeditorialsandbookreviewsandinvestigativereportingthatwasawardedPulitzerPrizes.AccordingtoDr.Brolly,ourbrightest,most-eruditeobservationsowedtheirexistencetopoorpeopletryingtounloadvintageAvoncolognebottlesandunwantedtimeshares.
“Moviesexist,”Dr.Brollytoldeveryclass,everyyear,“becausemoviesenabletheaterstochargeyoufivedollarsforpopcorn.”HispointwasthatworthlesspopcornsupportedtheglitteringworldofmoviestarsandtheAcademyAwards.Inthesamewaysingle,worthlesswordsprintedforafewdollarsperdayhadsupportedthecolossalnewspaperempires.
Withthepassingofnewspapersthecredibilityofeverythingcameintoquestion.Noonewasdictatingorarguingeffectively,definingqualityfromcrap,truthfromlies.Withoutagatekeeper,anarbiter,everythinghadequalvalue.
Dr.BrollyhadmadethemreadTheSiblingSocietybyRobertBly.Thebooksaidmodernsocietyhadlostitstraditionalhierarchy.Beitthepatriarchorthematriarch,mothersandfathershadbeenreducedtothesamestatusastheirchildren.Noonewantedtobeanadult,andpeoplewerefriends,peers,equals,ratherthanteachersandstudents.Reducedtosiblings.
Thisflatteningofthesocialhierarchy,Brollypredicted,wouldleadtopopulism.Insteadofafewenlightenedsages,vastnumbersofpeopleswayedbyemotionandgreedwouldseizethereinsofpower.
Belowthestairs,Nickinterrupted,“Youknowhe’sstonedallthetime?”
Shastaasked,“RobertBly?”
Nickshookhishead.“Dr.Brolly.”Andtoldaboutseeingatransdermalpatchstucktohisback,wherehisT-shirtpulledoutofhispants.BrollyworethesameT-shirteveryMay1st.Itwaswhiteexceptforunderthearmsandhadthewords“ParlorPinko”printedonthefrontinred.Itmeanthewasafag,peoplesaid.ThepatchwasFentanyl.Otherdayshewore“LimousineLiberal”or“ChampagneSocialist.”
EverykidattheUniversityofOregoncouldrecognizeaFentanylpatchoraPercocetseenfromouterspace.
Crouchedinthedustyspaceunderthestairs,Nickcountedonhisfingersthethingshe’dputhisfaithin.SantaClaus,theEasterBunny,theToothFairy,religion,thedailyOregonian,thegovernment,Dr.Brolly,andthepolice.Inschool,historychanged,geographychanged.Themomentafteryoupassedatest,thefactsyou’dlearnedwereobsolete.Nowhedidn’tknowwhattotrust.Hewantedtocheckhistelephonemessagesbutdidn’twanttoriskinstallingthebatteryandactivatinganyformoflocatingdevice.
Shastacheckedherphone.NowordfromWalter.Neitherhadhismomtextedback.Shewonderedifjustagirlfriendcouldfileamissingpersonsreport.Itsoundedlame.Thetruthalwaysdid.Butsheoffered,“Maybeweallneedtostarttrustingourselves.”
Tomakemattersworse,sheadded,“Maybeyouneedtotrustyourself.”
Nickscowledatheruntilshelookedaway.Hisvoicegotintense.“Tellme,”hedemanded,“everythingWalterknewaboutthisbigconspiracy.”
AfterPiperhadreadforthepart,thecastingcommitteehaddismissedtheotheractors.Thejobseemedasgoodashis.Stillthecommitteeconferred.Toassurethemselves,they’dgivenhimfragmentstoread.Platitudes,really.Forinstance,“Wemustdiscardpastmeasurementsandinventforourselveswhataminuteis...”Thesewerehandwrittenoncuecardsandheldnearthecamera.Anactor’sjobwastomaketheunrealbelievable.Tospinimaginarystrawintotangiblegold.
“Moments,”Piperread,“arethebuildingblocksofourlives.Andourlifetimesmustnotbemeasuredinweekends.OurtimeonEarthmustnotbejudgedbywagesearnedandtaxespaid.”
Acrewmemberreplacedthecuecard,andPiperread,“ThisisTalbottReynolds,absolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”
Thedirector,theman,Rufus,askedforanothertake.“ThisisTalbottReynolds,”Piperintoned,“absolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”
Thecastingcommitteeputtheirheadstogetherinconference.Thedirectoraskedforanothertake.Alightertone,morejovialthisgo-round.
Piperputasmileinhisvoice.“ThisisTalbottReynolds,”heliftedhisbrowslightlytogivehisfaceamore-openappeal,“absolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”
Theychangedthecardsandhadhimread,“ArticleSevenoftheDeclarationofInterdependence.”
Hoardfoodanditrots.Hoardmoneyandyourot.Hoardpowerandthenationrots.
Theyrewoundtherecordingandwatchedhisdeliveryasecondandthirdtime.Theynoddedasifinmutualagreement.Theyreplacedthecuecardwithanother,saying,“Youarenotgoingtogetlovedbybeinglovable!!”
Nodding,thedirectorsaid,“Withthedoubleexclamation.”Headded,“Please.”
“Weneglectourowndestiny,”thenextcardsaid,“whileweimposeanarbitrarydestinyuponothers.Doingsoweruinbothourownlivesandtheirs.”
ToPiperitwasallgobbledygook,buthedeliveredeachspeechwithsolemndignity.Heread,“Eachofusmustpursuehisorherowndestinyandallowotherstopursuetheirs.”Heread,“Outofrespect,wemustnotdictatetheprogressorthegoalsofothers.”
Ahulkingbrutewhosmelledofgunsmoke,likefireworksandgasoline,approachedandusedafoldedpapernapkintodelicatelydabthesweatfromPiper’sforehead.
Thecrewreplacedthecardwithanother.Again,“ThisisTalbottReynolds,theabsolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”Thetakewasruinedwhenhisstomachgrowled.
Thistime,thedirectororderedPipertoreadthecapitalizedlettersasiftheywerecapitalized.
Piperwingedit,“ThisisTalbottReynolds,aristocratsupreme,headhoncho,grandwizard,theabsolutemonarch...”Hedraggeditoutforever.
Inthesamewaythepeoplecametopayspecialhomagetothefinaldaysoftheirgovernment,theygatheredforlong,lastlooksatotherrelics.Theystoodincrowdssupervisingtelevisioncrewsbroadcastingfromcrimescenes.Andthereporterswereinwardlyflatteredandfeltthemselvestobecelebrated.Andthereportersfeltsmuginwhatseemedtobeproofoftheirrespectedauthorityintheworld.Likewise,thecrowdsflockedtowhattheyknewtobethefarewelllecturesbyesteemedacademics,andthosemuch-laudedlaureatestooksuchattentivemobstobeacompliment.Andtheseprofessorsfeltthefuture,forthefirsttimeinmanyyears,mightbeanimprovement.Andboththejournalistsandthelecturersweremistaken.
Forschoolinghadgiventhepeopleverylittleinexchangefortheirmoney.Andthemediahadgivennothinginexchangeforthepeople’stimeandattention.
Andnowwhenthecrowdscametowitnessthem,itwaswithbitternessandpity.Otherswatchedwithmorbidcuriosityandsadness,thewaytheymightlookuponthelastpassengerpigeoninexistence.Forthepeopleknewthesewerethefinaldaysofsuchinstitutions,andaneventwouldsoonoccurthatwoulddividethepresentfromthefuture.Theystudiedthetwilightofsuchprofessionssotheymightdescribethemtotheirchildren,someday.
Withnostalgiathepeoplestaredatthehollowpowerofthestatesman,thejournalist,andtheprofessor,andthepeoplesilentlybidthemfarewell.
FromoutsidePrinceLucienCampbellHall,toJamalstandingonthequad,thevenerableoldbuildinglookedlikethemodelforPoe’sHouseofUsher.Ofquaintandantiquedesign,ittoweredintotheStygiannighttimesky.Amellowrainbowofgreenandgoldglowedthroughonedistantsetofstained-glasswindows,andathreadofsmokespiraledupfromonlyonecrumblingchimneypottosuggestbutasinglelate-nightoccupant.
JamalmotionedforKeishauntogofirst,andthetwomenpushedpastthestout,heavilycarvedoakendoor,itsironhingescrustedredwithrust.Astheymadetheirwayinside,fallenplastercrunchedundertheirtread.Theflutterofbatwingsreeledthroughtheshadowsabovetheirbaseballcaps.Mountedatintervalsalongthewalls,theelaborategildedsconcesofabygoneepochthrewoffweakillumination,flickeringandpallidasgaslamps.
Thetwonavigatedthewarrenofnarrowhallways.Thesteep-pitchedflightsofstairs.Theybravedthegrimatticodorsofdustandsoot.ThestoneandtimberofthegreatstructureheldasilencesocompleteitmadeJamal’shungryearshallucinate.Inthesilenceheheardwords,spokenwords,ahushedjumbleoffaintvoiceslikerushingwater,likeanaudienceofphantomswhisperinginthosedankapartments.
Oneclusteroffetidroomsgavewaytoanotherjumbledhodgepodgeofrank,ruinedstallsandscholasticcarrels.Shelvesofbooks,theirleatherspinesfurredwithmold,stretchedoutofsight.Ametronomesoundofdrippingwatertickedoffthemoments,anddamphadblackenedthebuilding’selegantvelvethangings.Anightmareofbranchingcorridorsledthempastmusty,cavernouslecturehallswhereJamalwouldswearthesoulsoflostHumanitiesmajorsstillthirstedforrevenge.Demandedvengeance.Astheyoughtto,hereflected.Generationshadbeentaughttheworstbrandsofsocialengineering;they’dbeendrilledandtesteduntiltheseinstitutionallieshadreplacedanyrationalthinkingoftheirown.TheghoststhatinhabitedPrinceLucienCampbellHallwouldn’trestuntilJamalandKeishaunhadfoundtheanswertheysoughttonight.
Thepairlurchedfromoneruinedleveluptothenext,untilasinglenotestruckonapianocaughttheirattention.Aseriesofnotesfollowed.This,Chopin’sNocturneinE-flatmajor,ledthemtoanunlockedoffice.Beyondthatlayamolderingsuiteofrooms,andinthefurthestmosttheyfoundtheirobjective.
Herewasaninnersanctum,aplushoasishighinthebuilding,wheresomegreatman’sstaffoflackeyshadleftfortheday.HerethewallswereimpressivelypaneledinCircassianrosewood,andafirecrackledsoftlybelowanelaboratelycarvedovermantelofItalianmarble,richlydetailedwithcavortingputtiandheraldiciconography.AsettingnotatypicalforlearnedseniorprofessorsattheUniversityofOregon.Streamingraysofmoonlightlittherichstained-glasswindows,scatteringghostlycolorsthatfurtherdecoratedthearabesquepatternsoftheroom’selegantorientalcarpet.
ModerntouchesincludedaframedposterofCheGuevarahungabovethefireplace.AnAmericanflag,alsoframed,hadbeenhungupside-downabovetheprofessor’santiquedesk.Oneedgeoftheflaglookedeatenaway,blackenedwithsinge,fromsomelong-agoattempttoburnitinriotousprotest.Arrayeduponthedesktopwerevariousrarevolumesandcostlybibelots.WhatcaughtJamal’seyewasasignedsepia-tonephotographofEmmaGoldmanmountedonasmallbejeweledeasel.Nearitrestedarazor-sharpletteropenerofancientMoorishdesign.
Thegreatmanhimselfdozedinaleatherwingbackchair,anopencopyofRulesforRadicalslayagainsthischest,halfhiddenbyhisratted,graybeard.Despiteboththebeardandthebook,thesloganonhisT-shirtwasstilllegible.Itread,“ThisIsWhataFeministLooksLike.”
Thelegsofhiscotton,drawstringpantswererolledup,andhispale,wrinkledfeetweresubmergedinashallowplastictubofsteamingwater.Ready,besidethetub,afoldedbathtowelwaited.
Acrystaldecanterofrich,ambersherrysatonasmall,pricelesstablebesidehim.Anempty,thimble-sizedglassheldagoldentraceofhislastround.
JamalandKeishauncreptintotheroom,admiringitshistoricalfinery.Knowingtheseluxurieshadbeenbuiltwiththesweatandfaileddreamsofuncountableliberal-artsstudents.Thestrainsof
Chopinissuedfromashimmering,onyx-huedrecordalbumthatrevolvedslowlyonsomeancientheirloomgramophone.
Theesteemedscholar,Dr.EmmetBrolly,blinkedawake.“TowhatdoIowethispleasure?”heasked,hisrheumyeyesfixated,openlycaptivatedbyKeishaun’scloselyfittedslacks.
Toocowedtospeak,thestudentsshiftedtheirweightuncomfortablyandstareddownattheirworntennisshoes.AbruptlyJamallookedupandstammered,“Sir,doyourememberWalterBaines?”
Abeatlater,feelingnakedunderthebrilliantman’sleer,Keishauninsisted,“Wethinkhe’sintrouble.”
Thedoctorknittedhisbrow.Slowlyheclosedhisbookandsetitaside.“Whatbrandoftrouble?”
JamallookedtoKeishaun,andtheyregardedeachotherwithworriedeyes.ToBrolly,Jamalsaid,“It’ssomelist...”
Toclarify,Keishaunadded,“AlistontheInternet.”HeexplainedtherumorandwhatlittleWalterhadknown.Itseemedsimple:Ifyouthoughtapersonwasathreattosocietyyoucouldposthisorhernameonacertainwebsite.Ifnooneagreedwithyournominationthenamewoulddisappearwithinafewhours.Butifseveralpeoplesupportedthenominationthenamewouldlingertoattractmorepossiblevotes.Themorevotesapersongot,themoredangerheorshewasfacing.
Jamalinterjected,“It’slikeanunpopularitycontest!”
Hishystericaloutburstmadethemallcringe.Noonespokeastheburninglogsinthefireplacesoftlypoppedandsighed.
Atlast,Dr.Brollylaughed.Hiswasadeepheartychortle,dismissive,andscentedwithsherry.Itdisplayedeveryoneofhismarijuana-stainedteeth.Asafreethinkingscholarandmolderofyoungminds,itwasclearhe’dfacedmanysuchwitchhuntsinhislongcareer.Asiftocalmhimself,hereachedforthedecanterandpouredhissmallglassfull.Aftersippingit,heregardedtheamberliquidandsmiledwryly.“Yes,mychildren,”hesaid.“Therehasalwaysbeenalist!”
JamalandKeishaunhungonhiswords.Eyeswide.Theirsoulsfilledwithdread.
Thedoctorgesturedgrandlywiththetinyglass.“Sit,”hebadethem.
Thetwoyounglistenerssatcross-leggedonthecarpet,athisfeet.
Brollyspokedowntothem.“Therehasalwaysbeenalist.Oh,howhumanbeingslovetheirlists!”Hesmiledpatronizingly.“FromtheTenCommandmentstotheHollywoodBlackList.FromNixon’sEnemiesListtoSchindler’sListtotheNewYorkTimesBestsellerList.FromSantaClaus’slisttoGod’slistseparatingthesheepfromthegoats.”Hewentontodescribegenealogiesaslists,taxonomies,inventories.Hefinishedhisglassofsherry,pouredanother,drankthatandpouredanother.“Ourmuch-flauntedBillofRightsisalist!AswasMartinLuther’sNinety-FiveThesesnailedtothecathedraldoorduringthefestivalofFasching!”
WhenJamalandKeishaunlookedathimwithblankexpressions,hebellowed,“IfyoutwohadreadyourLewisHydeandVictorTurner—insteadofsmokingbathsaltsandplayingPokémonGo—you’dknowofwhatIspeak!”
Slippingeasilyintoalecturehe’ddeliveredcountlesstimes,hedeclared,“Power-reversalrituals!”
JamalandKeishaunsteeledthemselvesforalong-winded,didacticsermon.
Brolly’sdissertationgushedforth:Mostcivilsocietiesperpetuatedtheirstatusquobypracticingtheserituals.Forashortperiodeachyear,sometimesseasonally,thelowest-rankingcitizensweregrantedpowerovertheirsuperiors.InmodernsocietiesthisstilloccurredatHalloween,thejuncturebetweensummerandautumnandsupposedlybetweenthelivingandthedead.OnthenightofOctober31,powerlesschildrendonnedthecostumesofoutsiders—ofanimalsandthedeadandoutcastlonerssuchascowboysorhobos.Boysdressedasgirlsandgirlsasboys,andallofthesealienothershadthepowertoroamfreelyanddemandtributefromproperty-owninguprightmembersofsociety.IfnotributewaspaidthethreatofTrickorTreatpromisedpropertydamage.
“Why,”thedoctorsputtered,“bythe1920ssomanyhomeswereburnedandsomanytiresslashedthatnewspaperscolludedwithinsuranceandconfectionarycompaniestoinstitutetheritualofgivingawaycandy!”Hemarveled,“Pictureit!Thepoorburnedthehomesoftherich!Alloffensesoftheprecedingyearwererevenged!”
EvenChristmascaroling—heartwarming,traditionalChristmascaroling—hadbeenabloodsport.Thepoorcongregatedoutsidethehomesofthewealthyandsangasathreat.Nothingbutbribesofgoldandrichfoodwoulddispatchthemtothenexthouse.Ourpracticeofofferingflowersatafuneraloriginatedwithanancientritualwhereinthelocalpoorwouldgatherwildflowersandfragrantherbs.Theywouldarriveatthedeadman’scasketandhandthesegiftstothemournersinexchangeformoneyandbread.
Withobviouschildlikeenthusiasm,thedoctorsplashedhisbarefeetinthetubofwater.
Hedeclared,“Themilitaryisrifewithtraditionaloccasionswhenofficersmustobeytheirinferiorsforabriefperiod.”AboardnuclearsubmarineseverytourfeaturesaHefe’sCafénight.Dinneriscelebratedbytheship’sofficersdecoratingthemessasafancyrestaurantandthen,themselves,cookingandservingtheenlistedpersonnelagourmetmeal.Similarly,inantebellumAmericathepower-reversalritualwasknownasSaturnalia.AtChristmastimeaplantationownerwouldgivehisslavesgiftsandallowthemtotravelshortdistancestovisitrelativesonneighboringplantations.Alloftheslavesweregivenseveraldaysoffreedom.Theyreceivedalltheapplebrandytheycoulddrinkandalltheporktheycouldeat.AsreportedbyFrederickDouglass,theslaveswouldeat,drink,andcarouseuntiltheyweresick.Everyyear,thissicknessofexcessleftthemmiserable.Itconvincedtheslavestheywereweakwilled.Theyneededamastertocontrolthemandtheirbaseimpulses.Afterafewdaysofbingeingoneverything,theywerehappytoreturntobeingslaves.
Thisfaralong,thedoctor’slecturewaslongandliquoredandindulgent.
“FortheAmish,”Brollydronedon,“it’stheircuriouspracticeofRumspringa.Awordwhichtranslatestorunningorjumpingaround.Atthecuspofadulthood,Amishadolescentsareallowedtoenjoythefruitsoftheoutsideworld.LiketheslaveenjoyingSaturnalia,theAmishyoungstersinevitablyoverindulgeindrugs,insex,intediousminimum-wagelifestyles.Aftertheymakethemselvesmiserable,”Brollycrowed,“they’reonlytoohappytoreturntotheplainandsimpleAmishlife.”
Jamallookedathiswristwatch.Keishaunresistedtheurgetocheckhistextmessages.Clearlytheprofessorwasonaroll.
Thedoctorpausedtocatchhisbreath.Withliquorshiningonhislips,andtheramblingwispsofhislonggrayhairthathadescapedhisponytail,helookedlikenothinglessthanawizard.Somejabberingheretic.Fixinghissmallaudiencewithagleamingeye,heasked,“Doyouknowwhythiscountry,supposedlythewisest,mostsuccessfulhumanexperiment,doesnotpracticeapower-reversalritual?”
Whenneitherofthetwoyoungmenspoke,thedoctorshouted,“Karneval!”Hebellowed,“Fasching!”
ThelatterwasawordderivedfromtheGermantermfor“lastcall.”ItwastheequivalentofmodernMardiGras,afinalcarnalindulgencebeforethehardshipsandself-denialofLent.Inseventeenth-centuryBavariathepower-reverseritualallowedpeasantstoeatandpartyandsometimescopulateinthechurchesandcathedralswhilethecelebratoryparadesfeaturedmonksandpriestsridingonwagons—theequivalentofourparadefloats—whilethrowingfecesattheonlookers.Theprofanebecamesacredandthesacred,profane.Butonlyforashorttime.
Nevertheless,itwaswithinthislawlesswindowthatMartinLuthermadehismove.HepostedhisobjectionstotheCatholicChurch.AndindoingsohefoundedProtestantism.
“You’llagreethattheUnitedStatesisnothingifnotaProtestantnation?”Brollyasked,adding,“Atleastatitsfounding.”
BecausetheProtestantreligionshadbeencreatedduringapower-reversalritual,thosereligionshavealwaysbeenwaryofsuchapractice.
Brollynodded,knowingly.“ThePope,HisHoliness,willcontinuetowashandkissthefeetofthepooronHolyThursday,buttheProtestantswillneverriskthesamevulnerability.”
Thatwasthefatalflawofthisgreatcountry,hesurmised.Itneverallowedtheweakest,thepoorestandmostdisenfranchisedtoenjoyevenanhourofritualizedpower.Yes,wehadcastratedversionslikeHalloweenandChristmascarolingforchildren,buttherewasnothingtoexhausttheadultunderclassesandleavethemcontentedtoremainpoorforanotheryear.
Jamalallowedarespectfulamountoftimetopassbeforehetriedtoredirect.“Sothelist?”
Desperate,Keishaunbegged.“Isitreal?”
Drowsyandalittlesoused,Dr.Brollytut-tutted.Heliftedapalehandandtoyedwithafewstrandsofhiswildhair.“AsaculturalanthropologistI’velongheardofthisfabledlist.”Heassuredthem,“Anditisanurbanmyth.Acompletefantasy.”
Thetwostudentscouldn’thelpbutlookcrestfallen.They’dcomehereaskingaboutWalter,tryingtodiscoveriftheprofessorcouldhelpthem.Hecouldnotorwouldnot.Thiswasadeadend.
Asifsensingtheirdisappointment,Dr.Brollystirred.Perhapstoappeasethem,maybejusttoflirt,heasked,“Thismythicallist?”Strictlyfromananthropologicalstandpoint,heasked,“Whathappensifanomineegetstoomanyvotes?”
Hiseyesdowncast,KeishaunedgedforwarduntilhekneltatBrolly’sfeet.Thewaterintheplastictubhadlongceasedtosteam.Keishaunreachedforthefoldedtowel.“It’slikethis,”hebegan,andgentlyliftedonepalefootfromthetepidwater,drieditwiththetowelandletitrestonthecarpet.Thestudentrepeatedtheprocesswiththeotherfootbeforebringingeachfoottohismouthandkissingthecold,wrinkledskin.
Dr.EmmetBrollystared,hishairyjawsagape,dumbfounded.
Havingdonethat,Keishaunreachedonehandaroundtothesmallofhisownback.Fromhiswaistbandheproducedasnub-nosedrevolverandfiredasingleshotintotheprofessor’sslack-jawedexpression.
Nofootstepscamerunning.Thedesolatebuildingwasdeserted.Jamalventured,“Nopunintended,butyou’vejumpedthegun.”
Brollysprawledinhischair,bloodfillingtheraggedcraterthathadreplacedhisface.Bloodsputteredintheopeningexposedatthetopofhisblastedwindpipe.Hewasn’tboringanyone,notanymore.Theentirearrayofhisresearchandeducationwassplatteredonthewalnutpanelinginbackofhischair.Hishandstrembledforamoment.Thenthebloodstoppedflowingdownhisgraybeard,andhewasofficiallydead.
Keishaunstashedthegunbackinhiswaistband.“Inafewdaysitwon’tmatter.”HemotionedforJamaltofetchthefancifulletteropenerfromthedesk.Heasked,“What’shisvalueupto?”
Jamalwasstudyinghisphone,scrollingthroughalonglistofnames.Hekeptscrolling.Thelistgotlongereverydayaspeoplesubmittedtheirlast-minutenominations.Atlasthesaid,“You’renotgoingtobelievethis...”
Keishaunfroze.“Tellme!”
Jamallookedupfromthescreen,beaming.“Sixteenhundredvotes...”
Hisfriendgasped.Thatpracticallymadethemtheirownpoliticalparty.Keishauncoveredhisownmouthwithbothhandsandwhisper-shriekedwithjoy.
AsJamalusedtheletteropenertocarveawaythedeadman’sear,hesighed,“ThankGodWaltertoldus.”
Keishaunshruggedhelplessly.Blushingalittle,weaklyheoffered,“PoorWalt.”Heyankedupthehemofthedeadman’sT-shirttoexposeanadhesivepatchontheskinbeneath.Peelingoffthepatchandslappingitontothesideofhisownneck,hesavoredtheinstantrushofFentanyl.
Jamalhandedovertheear,itsdiamondstillsparklinginthelobe.ThetwoyoungmenbumpedfistsoverthemutilatedremainsofDr.EmmetBrolly,theyslappedhigh-fives.Beforeleaving,Keishaunwenttotheframedflag,thathalf-charredrelicfromsomelong-forgottenprotestordemonstration.Hetookitdown,regardeditwithreverence,andrehungitright-sideup.
JamalleaneddowntopickuptheAlinskybook.Coollyassessingitspages,hesaid,“Thetimeforprettywordshasexpired.”Andhegentlyconsignedthefragilepapertothehungryflamesofthefireplace.
Piper’svoicerasped.Histhroathoarseanddry,hefeltexhausted.Afterthey’ddismissedtheotheractors,thecastingteamhadkepthimreadingrandomlines.Whathadbegunasanauditionwasbecomingamarathon,asiftheyweretestinghisendurance.ClemorNaylor,orwhoeverthecastingdirectorwas,he’dgrimaceandsay,“They’renotconvincedyou’remanenough.”AsifbaitingPiper,he’dsay,“Thepartcallsforlotsmoregumption.”
They’dputupanothercuecardfilledwithgibberish,andPiperwouldbehell-bentnottoread:
CaucasiaisatwarwithGaysia.CaucasiahasalwaysbeenatwarwithGaysia.
Theirstackofunreadcardsstillstoodthickasanold-schooltelephonebook.Someonewouldholdupanother,andPiperwouldreadaloud:
Thefiresconsumingourcitieshavebeensparkedbyloyalistforcesoftheoldregime.
They’dholdupcardaftercard.
Theworldwantsaunifiedfieldtheory.Asinglething,onesomethingthatexplainseverything—giveittothem.
Themeasureofamanisnotwhathedoesforwagesbutwhathedoesforleisure.
AgrandmilitaryprocessionalwillretakethedecimatedcityofPortland!
Thejoyoffictionisthatitonlyneedstosmelltrue.
Gibberishitwas.Utterandcompletebalderdashinventedbyhackwritersforaseriesthatwouldnevergetpickedupbyanynetwork.HoweverPiperdeliveredeachlinewithvigorandgusto.Heknewtheknotofhistiehadsaggedawayfromhiscollarbutton.Andthatstrandsofhishairhadcomeungluedandbeguntofallacrosshisforehead.Buthedidnotgiveup.Hisbloodshoteyesburned,buthewasnotgivingup.Evenasthecastingdirector,RufusorColtonorBrach,putupanewcuecard.
Beforethisbookwasabook...beforethediggingoftheburialpits...therewasjustWalter’sbigplantogetrich.
WalkingthestreetsofNewYorkCity,he’dpulledupsomepornonhisphone.Juststillimagestoperuseuntilhis’nadsfilledup.Justsothebloodwentdowntohisjunk,andhewasthinkingwiththefearlessbrainsbelowhiswaist.Aharddickwasneverscared.PorndidtohimwhatspinachdidtoPopeyeorragedidtotheIncredibleHulk.PuttinghiminastatewherehecouldWhere’sWaldotheceilingoftheSistineChapelandneverfindGodbecausethebuttsofalltheangelsaresoinfinitelyfuckable.
PornmadeofWalteraruthlesswolfpackofone.Onhisphonehe’dGoogled:
TedBundy
WayneWilliams
DeanCorll
RichardRamirez
AngeloBuono
DavidBerkowitz
Toetheline.Followthestraightandnarrow,andnoonecaresifyouliveordie.Waltercanstarvetodeathorstumbleintotrafficandgetmowedflat.Hecanshipouttosomecombatzoneandgetbayonet-raped.He’snobody’slittlebaby,notanymore.Nobodygivesacrapwhetherhelivesordies.Butkilloffafewofhisfellownobodies,andsocietywillmoveHeavenandearthtokeeptrackofhim.Abilliontaxpayerswillprovideforhisfoodandshelterfortherestofhislife.Dresshimincleanclothes.Stopeating,andthey’llshoveatubedownhisthroatandpumphimfulloffood,atreatmenthehasn’tenjoyedsincehewasafetus.
UntilthenhewalkedthestreetsofNewYork,apredatorinthelandofspringlambs.
Allthey’dtaughthiminschoolcouldonlygetapersonsofar,orelsehisalgebrainstructorwouldbeflyingonaprivatejetdrinkingchampagneoutofaslipper.Whattheyteachmoreorlessgetseveryonetothesameplace.Theysayyouneedtobecomeathing—alawyerorbookkeeperorliontamertobarterbitsofyourthingforothersomethings.Inplaceofonething,Walterwantstobeeverything.Buttoriseabovethefrayhe’llneedamentor.Somebillionaireso-and-sototakehim
underhisbillionairewingandshowhimtheropesonmoneyreproducingitselflikerabbits,oninsidertradingandleveragingcommodityfutures,thebloodlessworldofcorporatetakeoversandfundspilingupinsometaxhaveninsomebankaccountnumberedtoinfinity.
Today,Walterhadtoldhimselfhecoulddothis.First,he’ddonehishomework.HadreadthefinancialpagestoidentifysomeGeorgeSorosorKochbrother.Abig-namehedge-fundmogulorinvestmenttsar.He’dstrolledthroughthepagesofTownandCountrymagazineandtheFortune500Who’sWho.FoundhimselfsomeKingMidaswhopullsthestringsandspinsstrawintogold.
ThewayWaltersawit,hehadn’tbeenslacking.He’dbeenbidinghistime,conservinghisresources,waitingforhisonemainchance.He’dmadealistofwhathe’dbelievedin:
SantaClaus
CatholicGod
BaptistGod
BuddhistGod
PaganGod
Satan
TheEasterBunnyandtheToothFairy
TheSeattleSonicsandtheOklahomaOutlaws
GaryHartandWalterMondaleandAlGore
Circumcision
Todatehe’dbelievedindemocracyandManifestDestiny.He’dbelievedincapitalismandmoralrelativityandSocialMarxism.Ifhecouldputhisfaithinthem,hecouldbelieveinanything.Maybebelievinginthoseridiculousabstractionswasanexerciseinbelieving,period.
Hisonlyfaith,thesedayshisonlyreligion,wasShasta.He’ddippedtwofingersintohispantspocket.Pinchedoutapinkblob.Likeamarshmallowonlysmaller.Anearplug.OneafternooninToolsofIndustrialDesignShastahadshutdownthedrillpress.She’dpinchedthepinkfoamplugsfromherearsandsetthemaside.Whileshe’dgonetomakeacallWalterhadstolenone,andnowonthestreetsofNewYorkheliftedtheearplugtohisnoseandsniffed.HuffedthesweetecologyofShasta’sskinandbrains.
Granted,maybehisdadhadn’tbeenaworldheavyweightdouchesufficienttoscorehimabigtrustfund,butWaltercouldremedythat.Ifadadcanhavemorethanonekid,whycan’takidhavemorethanoneoldman?Andifaparentcanadoptakid,whycouldn’tWalteradoptanewparent?Arichone.Somebodytoslipthesilverspoonbetweenhishillbillyredneckwhite-trashlips.Him,thehimwalkingthestreetswithaconcealedweapon,abouttobecomethesonsomeCroesusneverknewhehad.
Cherry-picksomeT.BoonePickens.Likefantasyfootballonlywithhisownfamilylineage.
Moneybeingthepurestsoulofeverything,theformeverythingtakesbeforereincarnatingassomethingelse.WaltermadeofhimselfthatoriginalWalter,beforeopinionsandeducationandcautioncamepouringintohim.TheWalterthatwatchingpornturnedhiminto.
ThereonsomeMadisonAvenuehe’dbe,Walter’snewoldman,withhishard-boiledoil-paintingfaceandhisheadforfigures.MaybenottherichTopHatguyfromMonopolyinstripedpantsandtailcoat,butpatriarchenough.AndifWaltercouldpickupastraydogonthestreet,thenthisshouldbeeasy.Hekepttellinghimself,“Hostiletakeover.”Hostiletakeover.Lookedatfromtherightangle,itwouldbeacompliment,he’dtoldhimselfashe’dMarkDavidChapman’dtoNewYorkCityandputamidtownhotelroomonhiscreditcardsohecouldMarkDavidChapmanthecrowdedstreets,hopingtocrosspathswithhisnewoldman.Thefatherwhodidn’tknowhewas,notyet.
Onhisphonehe’dGoogled:Chapman’slistofapprovedpeopletokill.
JohnnyCarson
MarlonBrando
WalterCronkite
GeorgeC.Scott
JacquelineKennedyOnassis
JohnLennon
ElizabethTaylor
ThinkingwithhispornbrainsWalterhadlurkedthestreetswithhislist,trenchcoatpocketsbulging,onthelookoutforoneofseveralpotentialfathers.Beggarscouldn’tbechoosers.Someofhisprospectivementorsnotevenmen,butladystockbrokersorrealestatewheeler-dealers,justsolongastheycouldschoolhimintheirmoney-makinghoodoo.Walterpoundedthepavement,onrovingstakeout,thelistonhisphone,completewithphotographsandsuggestedlikelylocationsforhuntingdownfinanciers.He’dalwaysthought:Shasta.Thinking:Shasta’sfacialexpressionwhenheshowedupatherdormroom,instyle,drivingaprivatejetwithastringofpoloponiestospiritheraway,completewithBeyoncéashernewmaidofhonor.Onhisphonehe’dGoogled:CharlesManson’sdeathlist.
SteveMcQueen
RichardBurton
TomJones
FrankSinatra
ElizabethTaylor
Withtherollofducttapeinhiscoatpocket,he’dwalkedalongWallStreet.He’dwalkedupLexingtonAvenuetoBloomingdale’s,eyespeeled,notcertainhowhe’dhandleanactualcloseencounter.Blood-houndingbillionairesintheirnaturalhabitat.Couldbehe’dtrailhisnewoldmanforblockafterblockuntilthey’dgetcaughtataredlight,standingonthecornerof57thStreet,waitingfortheWalksignal.He’dsidleupbesidethisMichaelBloombergandask,“Aren’tyouWarrenBuffett?”
Hisaristocratic,patriarchalskinwouldlookaspaleandbrittle-dryasoldrollingpapers.He’dgiveWalterthemoldystinkeye,andWalterwouldcounterbysaying,“ItmightinterestyoutoknowIhaveaGlock15,”boldlydisplayingthebulgeinhiscoatpocket.
Thatwouldcapturetheman’sattention.ThereandthenWaltertoldhimtohailacab,andthey’dbothclimbedinside.WalterhadtoldthecabbieanaddressinQueens,aspotseveralblocksfromwherehe’dstashedhisrentalcar.Thetwoofthemhadrodethereinsharedsilence,Walter’sbulgepressedintotheman’skidneys,himWalter’stickettoalifewherehewouldn’thavetocramallofhislivingintoSaturdaynights.TosteelhisresolveWalterhadsurfedmoreporn.He’dpulledoutapackofskunkweedresin-infusedchewinggumandofferedthedriverastick.Thecabbiehadtakenit,notreallysurewhatitwas.WalthadofferedthisBernardArnaultastick,buthe’drefuseditsoWalterpoppedthegumintohisownmouthandbegantochew.He’dsaid,“I’mnotgoingtohurtyou.”
ThisAmancioOrtega,he’dasked,“Fornothurtingmeyouneedagun?”
Walterhadsaid,“Ionlyneedtoborrowyourbrainacoupledays.”
WiththearchitecturalgrandeurofNewYorkgoingbyoneveryside,thisKarlAlbrechthadasked,“Wastherenotlintonthatgum?”
Walterhadaskedback,“What?”
“Pocketlint,”he’dinformedWalter.“Onthegumyousogenerouslyofferedme.”Liftingbothhandspalm-up,he’daddressedtheroofofthecab,beseeching,“Atmyage,withthepreciouslittleoflifeIhaveremainingme,whyshouldItrustthisyoungruffianwhosogenerouslyoffersmecheapcandycoatedinfilth?”
Walterhadfeltthehairythreadsofsomethingbetweenhisteeth.Hischeekshadburnedwithshame,buthewouldn’twanttomakethemanrightbyspittingthegumoutthewindow.Instead,he’dsaid,“You’recrazy.Thisgumisgreat!”That’swhenhe’dneededtopullouthisphonebutdidn’twanthisnewoldmantoseehimgettinghispornrefill.
Thecabdriverhadspathisgumoutthewindow.Walterhadtoldthemboth,“Thisgumisdelicious!”
Sothecabbywouldn’tseehisrentedride,they’ddisembarkearly.Then,whenitwasjustWalterandthemanwalkingthroughQueens,whenWalterhadarrivedattherentalcarandopenedthetrunk,he’dnoddedforthisCarlosSlimtoclimbinside.Walterhadpromisedhim,“Oneweek,tops.”
WalthadpulledupthephotosofShastaonhisphone.Heldthescreenforhisnewoldmantosee.ScrollingthroughthephotosofShastasmilingandShastaasleepandShastaignoringhim,Walterhadsaid,“Thisismymotive.”
Theman’seyeshadgonetotheinsidetrunkreleaselever.Walterletthem,justsolongasthemanclimbedin.Lethimthinkhecanjumpoutatthefirsttrafficlight.He’dsighed,thisIngvarKamprad.Hisshouldershadslumped,andhe’dmuttered,“Oneweek,MisterTerroristtellsme!”CurlednexttothesparetireinWalter’strunkhe’dscrambledtoofferhiswristwatch,hisphoneandwallet,butWalterhadrefusedthem.Givingitasecondthought,Walterhadtakentheman’sphonesohecoulddeactivateitsGPS.Walterhadsaid,“Youdon’tfullycomprehendmymotives.”Hadsaid,“Idon’twantyourmoney.”
Walterhadsaid,“I’mnotanyterrorist,”andhe’dslammedthetrunklid.
OncethetrunkwaslockedshutWalterhadspatoutthescarychewinggum.Inhiscoatpockethe’dfoundtheone-hitterandsuckedhislungsfull,holdingthesmoke,lettinghismindwander.PoorElizabethTaylor,he’dthought.Twicetargeted.Hadn’tshealsobeenthetargetfortheelaboratecar-crashmurderplotinJ.G.Ballard’snovelCrash?Wheretheyplottedtodriveoffanoverpass—calledaflyoverinEngland—andsymbolicallyrapeherlimousinebycrushinghertodeathwiththeirsedan?Orweresomanyplotstokillheractuallytheultimatemeasureofhermoviestardom?
Throughtheclosedtrunklid,Walterhadsaidhewassorryaboutwhatwenton,abouttheHolocaustandall,butthiswasn’tgoingtobelikethat.Walterwasn’tprejudicedsincehe’dmadeadioramaabouttheFinalSolutioninmiddleschool.IthadbeenhisrebuttaltohatefulonlineHolocaustdeniers,completewithincensesmokerisingominouslyfromtheLegobuilding-blockchimneys.SandalwoodincensebecauseitwasallhisWal-Martcarried.He’dhadaTonkatoybulldozerbulldozingnakedBarbiesintoadirtholetohidethemfromadvancingAlliedliberationforces.Aworthyeffort,thatdiorama,butonethatgothimsenttothecounselor’sofficetowatchavideoaboutbeingawrong-headedculturaldouchebag.Sincethenhe’dalwaysstrovetomakeaspecialblood-and-guts,balls-outefforttopracticesensitivityinregardtootherdifferentlyreligiouspeople.
Whenhe’dputtheone-hitterbackinhispockethe’dfeltthecoilofwire.Thegarrote.
Thetruthwashedidn’thaveanygun.TheguninhiscoatwasinactualityasizablebaggieofCaliforniaUltraviolet.That,andtheducttapehe’dforgottentouse.He’dwhisper-toldthelockedtrunk,“Nobody’sgoingtogasyou.”
OnlythendidWalterriskanotherpornrefill.Allalonghehadn’tknownanything.Hadn’tyetseenthewholepicture.
Thisentireabductionwouldgosoeasy,soquietandpainlessandeasythatheshould’veknownsomethingwasterriblywrong.
Thetrunkhadsaidbackfromtheinside,“Who’stogas?”Hadsaid,“Me?I’mLutheran,MisterTerrorist.”Thenandthere,fromthemetalinsidehadcomemuffledpealsoftriumphantlaughter.
Sixtydaysoutthelistwasfrozen.Nomineeswithinsufficientsupportwereexpunged.Thosethatremainedhadtheirrewardvaluesfixed.Thesemeasureswouldensureplayerscouldn’tidentify,nominate,andup-voteoneanother.OnceAdjustmentDaycommencedthelistwouldbetakendown.Thelistwouldnotexist.
They’dmadePipersayitrepeatedly.Eachtimewithexactlythesameintonation,asifhewerearobot.
“AdjustmentDayisuponus,”hedutifullyrecited.
Again,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”
“Irepeat,AdjustmentDayisuponus.”
He’dproducedthewordsuntilthey’dstoppedsoundinglikewords.Eachsentenceformedamantraoradrumbeat.Topreventlisping,he’dworkedtocontrolthehissingsibilantsoundsofthethreeevenlyspacedS’s.Everytakewasperfect,buttheassistantdirectorhadstoodbesidethecameraandpointedafingerathimtodeliveranother.
Piperhadaskedforabottleofwater.SomeonedugthroughthecrushediceinaStyrofoamcooler,buttheclosesttheyhadwaslitebeer.Thetapinghadbegunanew.
Repeating,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”
Repeating,“Thelistdoesnotexist.”
Repeating,“ThefirstcasualtyofanywarisGod.”
Repeating,“Ifamancanfacerealityattheageoftwenty-five,atsixtyhecandictateit.”
Thecastingdirector,ClemorRufusorNaylor,studiedhisclipboard,nodding.Helookedup.“Greatjob,”hesaid.“NowweneedeverythinginSpanish.”
Pipercouldn’taffordtotakeoffense.Heneededthework.FinallyClempromisedtobeintouchwithPiper’sagentregardingthetermsofacontract.Thecastingboardmembershadeachcomeforwardtoshakehishandintheirrough,stainedhands.Eachpayinghisrespectwithagruff“Thankyou.”Thecinematographer,Colton,hadpressedamanilaenvelopeontohimandescortedhimtotheparkinglot.OncePiperhadclimbedintohiscar,withnooneinsight,he’dtornopentheenvelope.Insidewasabandedstackofonehundredhundred-dollarbills.Whetherthiswasaretainerorabribe,Piperhadnoidea.Everythingabouttheafternoonhadfeltthewayhe’dimaginedshootingapornmoviewouldfeel.Printedonthepaperbandwas“$10,000.”
AthisworkstationCharliepositionedarubberbumpercushioninthehydraulicpress.Atopithealignedasteelmountingflange,andthroughtheseheranabolt.Hisfootsteppedonthepedal.Thepresshissedandstampedthepartstogether,andCharlieaddedthelocknutandtorquedittospecifications.Hereleasedthepedal,removedthefinishedaxlestop,andtosseditintothewire-meshbinlabeledwiththepartnumber.Hereachedforanotherrubberbumper,anothersteelflange,anotherbolt.Whathadoncebeentedious,noweveryrepetitionfilledhimwithjoy.Everytaskcounteddowntowardthefuture,andforthefirsttimesincehewasalittleboyCharlielookedforwardtothefuturelikeChristmasEve.
Theimpossiblehadhappened.GarretDawsonhadsaid,“You.”He’djerkedhisthumbforCharlietocomeover.GarretDawson,thekingofthefactoryfloor.
That’showfastCharlie’slifehadbeensaved.
Thismanhadselectedhimoutofalltheloud,bullying,bullshitartistsinthefactory.Itwasflattering.Charliefeltanointed,likeintheBible.Visited,likebyanangel.Likehehadn’tevenbeenaliveuntilGarretDawsonhadwalkeduptohimaftertheirshiftendedandinformedCharliethathewasn’tlikeeveryoneelse,andCharliehadadestinyfarbeyondassemblywork.
Nobody,noteacherorpriestorsportscoachhadeverflat-outtoldCharliehecouldhelpruletheworld.
Charliewasaman.Twenty-sevenyearsold.Amanworkingonanassemblylinewhohadthreewarninglettersinhisfileandifhepunchedtheclocklatehe’dreceiveafourthletterandbefired.Andhisjobwasshit.Andhehatedhimselfforclingingtosuchashitjob.Sinceschool,he’dcometoexpectsolittlefromlife.Nothingspecial,justtobetreatedwithcourtesyandpolitenessbytheworld.Wantedpeopletoseehimandnotfearhim,notadmirehimbutjusttoseehim.Hewantedtoberecognizedsopeoplewouldthinktwicebeforebadgeringorinsultinghim.
Nowhehadbeenchosenforateam.Themostexclusiveteaminhumanhistory.Andifhisteamdidwelltheymightpooltheirvictories.Andifthatnumberwassizable,theymightbetheleadingbodyoflawmakersinthenewnation.Andthenationtheywouldleadwouldleadtheworld.Andthisfuturemadeithardtosleepatnight.
ThedayoftheinvitationGarretDawsonhadshownhimthelist,onDawson’sphone,shownhimwheretofindit,thewebaddress.DawsonhadseeninhimsomethingheroicandpredictedCharliecoulddohispartonAdjustmentDay.Charlie,Dawsonproclaimed,hadthestuffofmenthroughouttimewho’dtakenactiontoradicallyimprovetheirsocietyinasingleday.
ThisfromGarretDawson,himself,whohadn’tpunchedthetimeclocklateinseventeenyearsandhadnevergottenasingleletterofwarninginhisfile.Dawsonwhowaslivingproofthathardwork
haddignity.Himwithawifeandkids,hehadeverythingtolose,GarretDawsonhadstakedeverythingoninvitingCharlietojoin.
NotthatCharliewoulddisappointsuchtrust.ThemanhadtoldonlyCharlie,ofallthelineworkersatKMLIndustries,themanhadsoughtoutCharlie,watchedfromadistance,seenCharlie’squiet,self-withheldwayofconductinghimself.He’dsensedrightlythatCharliecouldkeepthesecret,wouldn’tbragaboutitandendangertheenterprise.He’dpickedoutthelatentstrengthanduntappedpotentialinCharlie.Whatnoonehadeverrecognized,notevenCharlie’soldman,GarretDawsonhadzeroedrightinon.
BycarefulobservationthemanknewCharliewouldbuythenecessaryweapon.Charliewoulddohispracticeshootingonmovingtargets.He’dprovetobeanassetcomeAdjustmentDayandasamemberoftherulingclassfordecadestocome.
Attheriskofsoundingastrological,DawsonhadtalkedabouttheSaturncycleofpeople’slives,andhowCharlie’shadbegunatagetwenty-seven,andbythetimeCharlieturnedthirty-onehe’dbeunrecognizabletohimself.Dawson,hespoketoCharlieabouthumanbrainphysiology.Hecitedstudiesthatprovethelastmajorchangesinthehumanbrainoccuraroundtheageofthirty-one.That’stheyearwhenaman’sexperienceandhiseducationmergetocreatesomethinggreaterthanthetwoelements.Ifamancouldlivebeyondtwenty-seven—thedeathyearforsomanyrockstars—thenhisgreatestambitionsstoodtocometruebytheageofthirty-one.
HowDawsonsawit,naturehadn’tgiftedhimabigproblem-solvingbrainsohecouldpunchinandspendhislifeputtingwidgetstogether.Thetwoofthem,himandCharlie,weretheendresultofmillenniaofsmartchoicesandbackbreakingwork.Dawsoncalleditcomical,howtheevolutionaryculminationofeverygeniusandmuscle-boundsavagewasstandinghere.HereatKMLIndustries,Charlieandhisbrethrenwereequippedfortheworstshitthatfatehadeverthrownatanyman,yetheretheywereworriedsickaboutgettingfired,andprayedtospendthenextfourdecadesthreadingnutsontobolts.
Theirancestors,Dawsonsaid,werewatchinganddidn’tgivearat’sasshowmanygadgetsCharliepiecedtogetherinanhour,eighthours,fiftyyears.EveryoneinthehereafterwantedtoseeCharliedisplaythesamecouragethey’dbequeathedhim.They’dgiventheirlivesforhimandexpectedCharlietodothesameforthefuture.
GarretDawsonlikenedthelineageoftheirancestorstothelineofpowerhewasinvitingCharlietojoin.TheyoungermanwasallearsasDawsonhaddescribedthesystem.HoweachlineofpowerradiatedfromamemberoftheCouncilofTribes.Thosesevenmembershadcreatedthelist.They’dchosenthefirstroundofsoldierstoenroll,cherry-pickingonlythesteady,theable,andtheresolute.Andeachofthosechosenhadinvitedasinglesoldier.Andthismethodallowedeachlineofpowertobetracedbacktoitsfounderonthecouncil.Andthefailureofonesoldierwouldbethefailureofeveryoneinthatlineage.Whilethesuccessofeachwouldbethesuccessofhislineage.
Bythistimeasecretnetworkofthechosenwascast.Ordinarymendoingtheirjobs.Normalpeople.Quietanddrawingnoattention,theycontinuedtoraisetheirfamiliesandpaytheirtaxesandtreatotherswithaknowingdignity,fullintheknowledgethatsoonthey’dbeunleashedtoresolvealltheflawscontainedinsociety.
ItwasCharlie’snextmovethatworriedhim.Hewantedtoenlisthisbrother-in-law.Tobringhimintothelineage.Ateveryfamilyget-togetherthetwoofthemsathunchedinfrontofthetelevision.Tokeepthepeace,theyspenttheirlivesnottalking.ThanksgivingorChristmas,everyholidaywasanechochamberwithcertainfamilymemberssquawkinglikeparrots,repeatingeachother’sapprovedopinionsabouttheworld.Toriskaconflictingideawouldbedroppingaturdinthehappinesspunchbowl,soCharlieandhisbrother-in-lawhunkereddown.Theykepttheirheadslowanddidn’tdrawanyfire.TheygobbledtheturkeyorEasterhamandpretendedthiswasn’ttheirlivesdisappearingintothepast.
Charlieknewhisbrother-in-lawwouldbeanexcellentassetonAdjustmentDay.Charliejustwasn’tcertainthemancouldkeephistrapshut,andifCharlie’ssisterfoundoutthatwouldendeverything.Shecertainlycouldn’tkeepasecret.Besides,shewasamongtheparrotswhosaidtheworldhadtostayacertainway,andshe’dliveanddietryingtoearngoldstarsfromteacherswhowantedtoearngoldstarsfromteacherswhoyearnedforgoldstars.
Hermouthwouldgetthemallkilled.Rumor,morethanrumor,lineageprotocoldecreedthatifanyonesnitchedthatplayerwouldbeterminated.Worseyet,theplayerwho’denlistedthatplayerwouldbeterminated.ThatmeantCharlieandhissisterandhisbrother-in-lawallwouldgettargetedbeforeAdjustmentDaywithnolegacyandnodynastyforanyofthem,andhisfamilywouldbeforeverleftoutofthesphereofnationalpower,andGarretDawson,poorDawson,would
feelstupidbecausehe’denrolledadipshitloserwho’dbetrayedthecause.Dawson,who’dwatchedCharlieandmeasuredhischaracterandstakedhisownlifeonthebeliefthatCharliewassolidandworthtrustingwitharoleinthegloriousnewfuture,GarretDawsonandtheentirelineagewouldfalterastepwhileotherlinesofpowerstretchedlonger.
Afewofthelinesofpowerhadstutteredandlostmomentumthisway.Someonehadnarcedandtwomenhadhadtobeputastopto,butthethirdmanbackhadchosenoncemoreandthelinehadmovedforward.Otherlineshadmovedforwardwithoutamisstepandthoselinesstretchedforhundredsandthoselineswouldtakethemosttargets.
ButforthattohappenCharliehadtofulfillhisfirstduty.Hisfirsttest.EvennowGarretDawsonwatchedhimfromacrosstheway.Charlieputarubberbumperintothepress.Insertedaflangeandabolt.Compressedtheassemblyandsecureditwithanut.
Livinginacastledidn’tmakeamanaking.Notanymorethanflyinginaprivatejetmadehimanastronaut.Orflexingmusclesmadehimstrong.Nordidhavingatrophywifemakeamanawinner.AllhislifeCharliehadsoughtthetrappingsofpower,neverrealizingthatonlypowerispower.
Onlycourageiscourage.Onlyactionscounted.Thebooksaidthat.GarretDawsonhadalsogivenCharliethefamousbook.
NowCharlieneededtoinvitethenextmembertohislineage.
Otherlinesweregrowingbytheday,bythehour,butCharlie’swasstuck.Stalled.Tochooseasnitchwouldgethimkilled.Tonotchoosewouldcripplethelineage,theveryprogressionofmenwho’dputtheirtrustinhim.Worse,ifhecouldn’ttakethisonebigrisk,howwouldheeverperformonAdjustmentDay?
Withitsblue-blackcoverthebookstoodoutlikeashavedhead.Toolargetobehiddeninapocket.Withitstitleembossedingold,itbadgedthemencarryingitonthestreetandreadingitonthebus.Brandedthemheroes.Herewasreadingasacovertactofrevolutioncarriedoutinplainsightbutrecognizedassuchonlybyothermenwiththebook.
If,forinstance,apatrolmanstoppedamanforspeedingandsawthebookrestingontheseatbesidethedriver,noticketwasissued.Ifawomannoticedamanreadingthebookandaskedaboutit,whenthemanrefusedtodescribeithewasinstantlymoreattractiveinhereyes.
AsDr.Brollyhadexplainedit,everyyouthbulgehadatext.Ithadabooktojustifytheactionsitsmenmusttake.TheConquistadorshadtheBible.Mao’sarmyhadhisbookofquotations.TheNazishadMeinKampfjustasAmericanradicalshadSaulAlinsky.
Parentsandteacherswerethrilledtoseeboyspickupabook.Boysandyoungmenwho’dneverwillinglyfinishedabook,theywereporingoverthesepagesforhoursatastretch.
Onlymenwho’dbeeninvitedintoalineageweregivencopies.Onlyamongsuchmencoulditbediscusseduntilallwho’dreaditknewthewordsbyheart.
Toreaditinpublicservedasanopenlybrazenpoliticalact.Eachblue-blackcoverwasadogwhistle.Astatusindicator.Readingitwasanideologicaladvertisementtothelike-minded.
Nolibraryhadacopy.Nobookstoresoldit,thisbookbyTalbottReynolds.
Itjumpedtocatchtheeye.Madetheholderaheroamongthosewhoknewtheplan.Readerscarriedittocatchtheeyeoffellowtravelers.Thebadgeofitsblue-blackcoverdisplayedtheirnumbersandbolsteredtheirconfidence.Itdeclaredthatthebravestamongthebravestamongthebravehadchosenitsbearerasanequal.Andmencarriedthebookeveryday,everywhere,asthey’dcarryaflagintobattle.
Thesameasallthemostimportantbooksitmadesenseonlytothefaithful.LiketheQuranortheBookofMormonorTheCommunistManifesto,ifanonbelieverwereevertoopenacopyshewouldbepuzzled,frustrated,andquicklydismissthetextandsetitaside.Anoutsidercouldneverfinishthebookwhileaconvertcouldreaditamilliontimesfromcovertocoverandfindfreshinsightineverypass.
Thosewhocarriedit,theyweretiredofbeingconsumers.Theywantedtobeconsumed.
Inlieuofchoosingavocationtheyhadbeenchosen.Eachofthesemenhadreceivedhiscalling.Aconscriptionlargerthanthegovernment’sdraftlottery.
Terrence’smotherfinallycaughthim.Hewasinbed,reading.He’dbeenreadingtheblue-blackbooksincehislasthospitalstay,sinceherfatherhaddelivereditviaasympatheticnursewho’dagreednottotellTerrence’smother.Hisfatherhadneverappearedinperson,notinTerrence’shospitalroom,buthe’dwrittenaninscriptiononthetitlepage:“Formyson.Inafewdaystheworldwillbeaverydifferentplace.Bestrong.”
Withinthebook,certainpassageswereunderlined.TerrenceknewenoughtohidethebookbyTalbottReynoldsfromhismother.He’dsmuggledithomewhenhewasdischarged.Thestaffphysicianshadn’tfoundanythingwrong,nothingtoexplainhisseizures.Theyneverdid.Toplayitsafethey’dsimplyincreasedallofhisdosagesofZoloft,prednisone,beta-adrenergicblockingagents,andcolloidalsilver.
Whateverhisfather’sintention,thebookbecameTerrence’sbible.Hereadituponwakingeachdaybecausedawnwastheonlytimehecould.Afterhetookhismorningroundofmedshismindcloudedandhehadhardlytheconcentrationneededtofollowthestorylineofatelevisioncartoon.
Today,forexample,he’dbeenreading:
Ahappypastcripplespeople.Theyclingtoitwithnowherebettertogo.Nothingtoimproveupon.
Whenhedredgedhismemory,theonlydetailhecouldretrieveabouthisfatherwasBrylcreem.ThesmellofBrylcreem,likeacombinationoflanolinandoldtypewriterribbons.ThewayhisfatherwouldpullthepointofacombthroughTerrence’shairtocreateapartalongoneside.Toduplicatehisfather’sownhaircut,onSundaysbeforetheywenttopayacallonGod.NofacedidTerrencesalvage.Nonothingelse.JusttheBrylcreemsmellandthescratchofthatcombalonghisscalpwasallhecouldrecover.
Thatcombdrawingalinelikethispencilhad.Likeaplow.ItthrilledTerrencetoimaginehisfatherunderliningthesewordswithlong,steadystrokes.Carefully,thoughtfullychoosingthemespeciallyforhim,hisson.Eachpassagewasarevelation.Inthepagemarginnexttomany,inthesamesternhandwritingasintheinscription,hisfatherhadwritten,“TellTerry.”Proofthemanwaslookingoutforhim,hoveringinthemargins.Thenexthighlightedpassageread:
Considerthatnoonewantsyoutodiscoveryourfullpotential.Theweakdonotwanttobearoundthestrong.Thestagnantcan’tbearthecompanyofthevigorouslygrowing.
Hewhisperedthewordstohimself,tryingtorepeatthemintohismemory.
Painandsicknesswillalwaysbefallmen.Chooseyours,beitthepainfrommanuallabororthesicknessofoverexertion.Scheduleit.Savorit.Useyourpainsoitwillnotuseyou.
Therewasnowarning.Perhapshe’dforgottentolockthedoor.Eitherthatorhismotherhadstealthilyusedherkeywhilehewasabsorbedinthebook.Thedoorswungaside,andthereshestoodbearinghisbreakfasttraywithitsperfectlycoddledegg,whole-wheattoast,andhalvedgrapefruit.Hereyesseizeduponthebookandblazed,butonlyforamoment.Thenhereyebrowsrelaxed.Hereyesnarrowedwithhostilesuspicion,andsheasked,“Whatareyoureading?”
Ofcoursesheknew.TheTalbottbookwasasensationhotlydebatedontelevisionandtheInternet.Likeallmysticaltexts,fromTheCelestineProphecytoJonathanLivingstonSeagull,thosewholikeditreveredit.Thosewhodidn’tdespisedit.Hismotherfellintothecampofthelatter.Shebenttosetthetrayonhisbedsidetable,slylyeyeingtheopenpages.
Whenhedidn’trespond,sheforcedasmileandsaid,“Gotyouapinkgrapefruit,today!”
Inbed,thefirstraysofdawnilluminatingthewords,silentlyTerrenceread:
Theweakwantyoutoforgoyourdestinyjustasthey’veshirkedtheirs.
Shemust’veknownwhenceitcame.Who’dgivenittohim.Foryearsshe’dkepthisfatheratbay,tellingthenurses,tellingTerrencethathisfatherwasabigoted,race-baitingpsychoobsessedwithmicro-aggressioningthetransgenderedandrape-culturingtipsycoeds.EversinceTerrencehadbegunhavinghismysteriousseizures,she’dbeenhiscaretakerandonlydailyhumancontact.
Shemotionedforhimtoscoochoversoshecouldsitontheedgeofhisbed,herhipspressingagainsthisblanketedthigh.Sheleanedclose,puffingthepillowbesidehishead.Doingsoshesnuckalookattheopenpages.Aloud,sheread:
Wemustalloweachindividualtopersevereortoperishashechooses.
Ascowltwistedhermouth.“Garbage,”shedeclared.Herdisgustedtone,shame-rapinghim.Oneofherhandsgrippedtheedgeofthecoverandshepulledgently.“Giveitsoyoucaneat.”
Whenheheldtightandrefusedtolookupfromthepage,sheasked,“Whatareyouhiding?”Withanotherlessgentletugatthebookshesaid,“You’dthinkIwasplanningtoburnthedamnedthing!”
Seeinghewasdetermined,shesatback.Coollyassessinghim,thebedclothes,thebook,herfacewasflat,expressionless.Amaskofcunning.Shechangedtacks.Inchingherselfcloser,sheleanedoverhim.Shereachedtopressonecoolpalmagainsthisforehead.Saying,“Youreyeslookglassy,”shestrokedhischeeks.“Youfeelwarm.”Brushingsomehairbackfromhistemples,shesaid,“You’reclosetohavinganotherseizure,aren’tyou?”
Thisishowitalwaysstarted.She’dpethisface.She’dcoo.Hismotherwouldlookdeepintohiseyes,tellinghimhelookedpale,hisskinfeltclammy.She’dcroonandpurr,“Mypoor,sickbaby...Myfragile,sickboy...”AndsweatwouldbegintopourdownTerrence’sface.Hiseyeswouldlosefocus.She’dprompt,“Yourearsareringing,aren’tthey?”Andhisearswouldring.
Next,likeacurse,she’dsummontheheadaches,migraines,chills,andthey’dallmanifestinhim.
Thistime,assheranherfingersthroughhishairandcalledforththefitsandspasmsthatwouldlandhimbackinthehospital,thistimeTerrencekepthiseyesontheopenpage.Reading:
Theblackthugconductsgangviolenceandthehomosexualindulgesinpromiscuitybecausebothactsdemonstratepoliticalidentity.Removetheoutsideobserverandyoueliminatetheimpetusfor
thebehavior.
Hervoiceloadedwithscorn,shebaitedhim.“Doyouknowwhatsensiblepeoplearecallingthatbook?”Whenhedidn’tbite,shesnapped,“They’recallingitthe‘newMeinKampf’!”
Terrencefeltthethreatofaseizurepass.Thetrancebroke.Hisbreathingsteadiedandgrewdeep.Hisheartnolongerraced.
Whenshesawherministrationsweren’thavingtheirusualeffect,hismothersatback.Onceagain,sheasked,“Whatareyousoashamedof?”Whenhedidn’trespond,sheasked,“Youdidn’thaveanothernocturnalemission,didyou?”Herhandsdugatthesheetsandblanketsasshedemanded,“Let’sseeyourcatheter!”
Toprotecthimself,Terrencestrainedtorollawayfromher.Huggingthebooktohischestheprotested,“Mother!I’mnineteenyearsold,andI’mtiredofwearingacatheter!”
She’dfoundthecollectionbag,aclear-plasticballoonswollenwithhisnighttimeoutput.Holdingthecollectionbagaloft,sheshookitforemphasis,sloshingandhorrible.“Wecandispensewiththecatheter,”sherailed,“whensomeonequitswettinghisbed!”
Thebedwettingwasonlyanexcuse,Terrenceknew.Yearbyyearforaslongashecouldrecallshe’dmeasuredtheoutputofhisbladderandbowelsandloggedtheresults.Towhatend,he’dneverquestioned,notbeforereadingtheTalbottbook.
Hismotherdroppedtheweightycollectionbagandmadeasudden,violentgrab,snarling,“Giveit!”
Terrenceclungtightlyasshelatchedontothespineandfoughttodragitfromhisgrasp.
Sheslidoffthebed,squattinglow,herfeetplantedonthefloor,pullingwithherfullweight.Withonehandshegrippedthebook.WithherfreehandshereachedforsomethingTerrencecouldn’tsee.Shebattledhalf-heartedlyasshefocusedonsometaskblockedfromhisvisionbytheedgeofthebed.
“Yourfather,”shehissed,“hedoesn’tknowhowsickandweakyouare!”
Terrence’seyesfelluponthecurrentpage.There,thewordssaid:
Whatyouresistpersists.Directoppositiononlystrengthensyouropponent.
Triumphantly,sheliftedherfreehandintotheair.Somehowshe’dmanagedtosnatchthelongtubethatloopedfromhiscatheter,andshe’dwrappedalengthofitaroundherfist.Ifhedidn’trelinquishhisfather’sgiftitwasclearshemeanttoyankthetubingcruelly.Shehadhimbythetackle.
“Handitover,”shegrowled.
Terrencepleaded,“Mother,no!”Buthissteadfastgripdidn’tloosenonthebinding.Theblanketshadfallenaway,revealinghispale,hairlesslegsandarms,therestofhimattiredinonlyawhitecottonT-shirtandbriefs.
Shegavethetubeawarningpull.Thefulllengthofitjumpedandwenttautwhereitenteredthefrontofhistentedunderpants.
Terrencecouldalreadyfeeltheominoustugandcriedout,“Mother,don’t!”Hisvoicecracked,“You’llpullitoff!”Stillheheldtighttohistreasure.
Onehandstillpullingatthecontestedvolume,hismotherusedtheothertogiveaferociousjerk.Thecathetersprangfree,thelongtubecrackinglikeabullwhip.Sprayinghoturineacrosshisbreakfasttray.Dissolvinghispreciousday’sworthofbenzodiazepine.UrinedrizzledontoTerrence’scoddledeggandlightlybutteredwhole-wheattoastwiththecrustsmeticulouslycutoff.
Apainrippedthrough,notjusthistenderjunkbutTerrence’sentireurinarytract,anagonythatmadehishandsspasmandreleasetheirgrip.Thebookslippedaway,andhismotherfellbackward.Thecatheterflailedintheair,jettingitssalty,ambercontents.Theblue-blackbookcameintoviolentcontactwiththeedgeofthebreakfasttray,knockingitfromthenighttable.Thetumblingplatesenteggsandmarmaladeflying.
Asshetumbled,theheavybooksoquicklyreleasedstruckherboldlyacrosstheface.Theimpactmadeadullthwack,followedbyhismother’sgutturalmoanofsuffering.
Hismothersprawledbackward,restingonherelbows.Steamingyellowwastestillshotfromthetubingthathadamereinstantbeforebeenlodgeddeepinherson’surethra.Undertheputridrainofthishellishfountainsheshrieked,“Seewhatyoumademedo!”
Thebook’simpacthadbrokenhernose,layingitsidewaysagainstonecheek.Afrothofbloodandmucuspouredfromhernostrils,makingherwordssputter.Theroomwasashambles,litteredwithurine,blood,andbacon.Thewallpaper,dappledwithorangejuiceandpartiallydissolvedserotoninreuptakeinhibitors.
Withonehand,Terrencegrippedhiswoundedmanhoodinanguish.Thetraumahadalmostturnedhiminsideout.Whiletheshameandrageburnedinhistear-stainedcheeks,hisoppositehandflewtohismouthandhefelltosuckingthethumbfeverishly.That’swhenavoicecametohim,avoicehechosetobelievewashisfather’s.Itbade,“Bestrong.”
Atthis,heswunghisthinlegsoffthesideofthebed.Despitehismother’scursesandsobs,heloweredhisbarefeettothecarpetandtookawobblysteptowardthebathroom.Ignoringtheshoutsthatfollowedhim,hestaggeredtowardthetoilet.Hishandsfumbledwithhisshortsasavoicescreamed,“ForChrist’ssake,putuptheseat!”
Heleftitdown.Straddlingthebowl,hislegsspreadwideapartlikethelegsofAtlas,forthefirsttimeinhislifeTerrenceWestontookhisfirststandingleak.
We’veallwatchedthelittleritual.Whenyougotopaywithafifty-dollarbillatthestore,orahundred,thecashieralwaysholdsitup.Shelooksatthelightshiningthroughandsquintstoseethewatermark.Thecashierwhipsoutafelt-tippedpenandswipesitacrossthefaceofthebill.Becausealazycounterfeiterwillusewell-wornpapermadefromwoodpulp,thepencontainsasolutionofiodinethatreactswiththestarchincelluloseandleavesablackstain.Realcurrencyisprintedonragpapermadefromcottonorlinenfibers.It’smorelikefabricthanpaper.That’swhyrealmoneysurvivesthewashingmachine.Onrealcurrencytheiodinepenleavesnomark.
Masiewouldbethefirsttoadmitshewasageekaboutmoney.Shestudiedthefeelofsecuritythreadswovenintobills.Shelovedwatermarksandcolor-changeinks.
That’showcomeMasieworkedlateattheprinter,tonight.Sheknewprinting,andsheknewmoney,butthiscontractjobwassomethingnew.Aspecialorder.Anewprocess.
Sheliftedoneoftheunprintedsheets.Eventhetermprintingwasinaccurate.Thisprocesswasmorelikeexposingphotographicpapertolight,likedevelopingapicture.
Eachsheetmeasuredanarm’slengthwide.Slipperyandshiny,morestiffthanpaper.Herinstructionsweretoplaceeachsheetinajig.She’dthenplaceatemplateonthesheet,akindofstencil.Andshe’dswitchonanultravioletlightandallowittoshineonthetemplateandsheetforoneminute.She’dremovethesheetandrunitthroughacutterthatdividedthefilmintothirty-six,stiff,thin...coupons,theyhadtobe.
Itwasapromotionalgimmick,Masieguessed.Asthecustomerhadexplained,thefinishedcouponswouldhaveasix-weeklifespan.Afterfifty-odddaysthepatternonthemwouldfadetonothing.
Thewaythecustomerhadexplainedit,thiswasanewtechnologyoriginallydevelopedforcreatingself-erasing,top-secretmilitarydocuments.Itusednanoparticlesofgoldorsilversandwichedwithinathingelsheet.Whentheparticleswereexposedtoultravioletlighttheybondedinthepatternoftheexposedarea.Thus,theybondedtocreatethepatternsallowedbythestencil.Sheetsimpregnatedwithgoldparticleswerered,andtheexposedareasbecamebluewheretheyfilledwiththebondedparticles.Sheetsimpregnatedwithsilverparticleslookedyellow,andtheexposedpatternsofparticlesturnedviolet.
Masieliftedastackofthefinishedcoupons.Thecolorswerevividred-and-blueoryellow-and-violet,patternedwithconvoluteddetailssimilartopapercurrency.Alacyborder,intricatebackgroundcrosshatching.Apictureofapompousmandominatedoneside.ThecaptionidentifiedhimasTalbottReynolds.“AbsoluteMonarchAppointedbytheCouncilofTribes,”thecaptionread.Helookedfamiliar,asifhecould’vebeenanactorshe’dseenonforgettabletelevisioncommercials.
Ontheoppositesideoftheredcouponsasloganread:“MoneyIsBetterBurntThanSpentonFolly.”
Ontheyellowcoupons,thesloganwas:“HoardedFoodRots.HoardedMoneyRotsMan.HoardedPowerRotsMankind.”
Itwasn’tvisible,notyet,butthetinyparticleswerealreadybeginningtobreaktheirbondsanddriftapart.Thecouponsmightbelegiblenow,butinsixweeksthey’dappearblank.
Itwasbuilt-inobsolescence.Talkingtoherself,Masiemuttered,“EzraPoundwould’velovedthis!”
Shecountedthecut-outcoupons,bandedthemwithpaperinstacksofonehundred,andpackedtheminboxesforshipmenttothecustomer.Whenthecrewswitchedduties,sherantheprinter—actuallyitwasavacuumframethatsuckedtheairoutandmadesurethetemplatewastightagainstthesheetoffilm.Thiswaytheimageswerecrispandsharp,althoughonlyshort-lived.
Asamoneygeek,she’dstudiedhowthepoetEzraPoundhadadvocatedforavegetable-basedcurrency.Assomeformofmoneythatwouldquicklyrot,itwouldforceholderstospenditorinvestitassoonaspossible.Noonecouldpileupgreatfortunesincash,andmoneywouldn’toutlastpeople.Itwouldbeasperishableasaloafofbreadorapassinghouroflabor.MasieknewitwasradicalthinkinglikethisthatattractedPoundtoFascism,particularlytoMussolini,particularlytothemoneytheoristSilvioGesell.Gesellurgedthatalllargedenominationcurrencyhaveanexpirationdatesothatitcouldnotbehoardedbytherichwhilethepoorstarvedforemployment.InPound’sdream,banksandrichmencouldneverenslaveanationwiththepowerofitsownmonetaryunits.
Thesecrazyideashadlandedhiminprisonsandmentalhospitalsformuchofhislife.
ToMasie,theideasdidn’tsoundsoinsane.TohermoneyoughttobeagatewaylikeSuperman’stelephonebooththatallowedtransformation.Moneywasagar,aether,undifferentiatedstuffthathadtotakeanewformquicklyorperish.
Asshepackedacartonwithstacksofredbills,Masiewonderedabouttheirpurpose.Whatforward-thinkingadvertisingagencywasbehindthis?Whatevertheiruse,ithadtobesoon.Withinweeksthey’dbeworthless.Theycouldstillberestoredusinganotherburstofultravioletlight,butonlytheoriginalcreatorswouldhavethetemplate.Whoeverownedthestencilownedthemeansofproducingmore.
Theshippinglabelsshowedtheboxeswereheadedtocitiesthroughoutthenation.Mostlikelyherswasn’ttheonlyshopproducingthem.WhatevertheCouncilofTribeswas,itwouldn’tbeasecretformuchlonger.
Thelisthadbeenajoke.Alisticle.Clickbait.Themosteasilyconsumedformofinformationinthepost-informationageofchurnalism.Nooneknewwhofirstpostedit.Late-nighttalk-showwagsjokedthattheyweren’thatedasmuchasothertalk-showwags.Otherssawitasawaytorebrandthemselvesasvillainsorvictims.Forhateisaformofpassionateattachment,andtobedespisedseemsbetterthantobeunknown.
Thuspeoplewhofeltneglected,theynominatedthemselvesandwerehurtnottobeseconded.Hatetooktheplaceofloveasourmeasurementofpopularity.Forittakeseverythingtobeloved.Tobelovedistoserveasaslave.Hatedemonstratesacompletefreedomfrompleasingothers.Likewildfirealmosteveryonealivewasnominated,butfewreceivedthevotestheyneededtosustain
anyrank.Thosewhoremainedwerepublicfigureswho’dbetrayedhugegroupsoffollowers.Thestaggeringvotetotalswenttomediafigures,actors,journalists.Byfarthemosthatewenttoteachersandprofessorswho’dbeenexposedforteachingstudentswhattothinkinplaceofhowtothink.
Howeverthegreatesttalliesofragewereheapeduponpoliticalfigures.Thosepreeningpublicservantswhoconstantlycreatedbiggerproblemsandofferedthemselvesastheonlysolution.
Visitorstothesitemarveledovertheskyrocketingscores.TheyscrolledthroughthelistofAmerica’sLeastWantedandlookedfortheonesnearestthemselves.Thispornographyofpublichatred.
Thenamesofordinarypeopledroppedawayevenasthevotessnowballedforthefamous.Newdistractionspresentedthemselves,andmostpeopleforgotthelist.DismisseditastheyhadtheTamagotchi...theBeanieBabies...pogs.
Butinobscuritythelistcontinuedtoswell.Theremainingnamestickedupwardintothemillionsofvotes.Andnoonegaveathoughttothelistexceptforthemysteriousteamthathadcreatedit.Visitorsdownloadedcopiesofthefinalversion.Andjustasmysteriouslyasthelisthadonceappeared,suddenlyitwasgone.
Thelistdidnotexist.
Charliewasdeterminednottolook,notatfirst.
Andthenhe’dlooked,andhewasn’tgoingtolookanymore,butthenhelookedsomemore.Andwhathe’ddreadedmosthadcometrue.Boththeirnameswereonthelist.
Henotedthedateonwhicheachnamehadbeenposted.Thefirsthadbeenpostedonlyadaybeforethesecond.Neitherofthetwohadenoughvotestostayonthelistpastthethree-weekmark.EverydayCharliechecked,andeverydayheprayedbothnameswouldjustdropoffthelistforlackofvotes.
Justhoursbeforethethreshold,bothnameshadrackeduptoomanyvotes.Theywerebothtargets.Bothweregoingtodie.
Thetwoweren’tinCharlie’sregion,butthey’dbetargetsforsomelineage.Anditwascompletelyunethical,buthedrovearoundalldaySundayuntilhefoundaphoneboothsoisolatednoonewouldoverhearhisconversation.Theboothstoodattheedgeofapayparkinglotnearthetrainstation.Charlieboughtlatexglovestopreventleavinghisfingerprintsonthebuttons,andhedumpedouttheMasonjarwherehecollectedsparechangeandpickedoutallthequarters.Heworesunglassesandabaseballcapwiththebrimpulledlow.Heparkedawaysfromthephoneboothandwalkedaroundblockafterblock,alwaysmakingsurenobodywasfollowinghim.Andassurreptitiouslyasslidingintothedoorofadirtybookstore,heside-steppedintothephonebooth.
Hispocketsloadedwithquarters,theweightofthesequarterstugginghispantslowonhiships,Charliestuffedhishandsinthelatexglovesanddialedalong-distancenumberheknewbyheart.
Thephonerangattheoppositeend,andCharlieprayedforsomeonetopickup.
“Hello?”Aman’svoice.
Charliesaid,“Dad?”
Hisfatherasked,“Charlie?”Awayfromthephone,heshouted,“Honey,pickuptheextension.It’sthedropoutcalling!”
Charliescannedthesurroundingparkinglot.Intothereceiverheasked,“HowsooncanyouandMomgettoCanada?”
Aclickwasfollowedbyhismother’svoice.“You’reinCanada?”
“No,”Charlieinsisted.“YouandDadneedtogettoCanada,fast!”
Hisfatherchuckled.“Withthebigwarcoming,it’syouwhoneedstodothedraftdodging!”
Hismotheradded,“Ifyouwerestillincollegeandhittingthebooks,Charlie,youwouldn’tbeeligibleforgettingdrafted.”
Charliedidn’twanttoargue,buthedidn’twanttotiphishand,either.“Mom,thatwasVietnam.Thisisdifferent.”Hisnervousfingerswentbacktohispantspocket,frompockettophone,andcontinuedtodropquarter,quarter,quarterintotheslot.Eachcoinsetoffabell.Betweenandbehindtheirwords,thebellkepttolling.
Hecouldn’tsayasmuch,buttheywerebothonthelist.Evenifhetoldthemthefullsituationthey’druntothepoliceandthepolicewouldmostlikelykillthemforknowing.Afterthat,thepoliceorsomeonewouldkillCharliefortellingthem.Theironlyhopewastofleethecountry.Becauseeveniftheyhidout,stayedathome,whatever,someone,somedaywouldtargetthem.
Charlietriedtoreasonwiththem.Heasked,“Dad,ifyouandIwereinalifeboatwithmyson,andIcouldonlysaveyouorhim,whodoyouthinkIshouldsave?”
Hismothergasped,“Charlie!Youhaveason?”Shesoundedshockedanddelighted.
“Theoretically,Mom,”hereplied.“ShouldIsaveyouormykid?”
ToCharlie,thecomingslaughterwouldelevatehimandallhisdescendantstothestatusofroyalty.Butitwouldalsokillhisparents.Aconundrum.Theywerebothprofessorsatajuniorcollege,theydabbledinlocalcityandcountypolitics,therewereadozenreasonsforpeoplewantingthemrubbedout.But,still,theywerehismomanddad.Itwasdifficulttoweighthelovehefeltforthemagainstthelovehe’dfeelsomedayforhisfuturesonsandgrandsons.Hisloveforthemwasconflicted.Hisloveforhisunbornsonswasunqualified.
“So,”heapproachedtheissuefromanewdirection,“ifIgetdrafted,doyouwantmetokillpeople?”
Withouthesitation,hisfathersaid,“Tosaveournation,yes.”
Thebellrangandrang.
Ashefedthephonequarters,Charlieasked,“WhatifIdie?”
Hismothersaid,“Godforbid!”
Anotherquarterrangthebell.
Charlieasked,“Andifitmeantsavingourcountry,wouldyouwantmetokillsomeone’sparents?”
Hisfingerssweatinginsidethelatexglove,hishandwenttohispocketandfounditempty.He’drunoutofquarters.Thebellshadstopped.
Afterapause,hisfathersaid,“Yes,ifthat’syourmission.”
Toclarify,Charlieasked,“You’dwantmetomurdersomeone’smomanddad?”
Hismotherasked,“What’sthatsound?”Sheasked,“Areyoucrying?”
Yes,hewascrying.Charliewascrying.Hesniffedastearswasheddownhischeeks.
Hisfatherasked,“Isthisaboutdrugs?Charlieboy,areyouhigh?”
Beforethey’dbecutoff,Charliechokedoutthewords,“Iloveyouguys.”
Hisfathersaid,“Thenwhythebigboo-hooing?”
Andthat’swhentheconnectionwentdead.
GregoryPiperwatchedtelevision,waitingforafinaldecisiononhisaudition.TelevisionwasbetterthantheInternet.Ifheranacrosshimselfontelevisionitwasbyaccidentanditcouldstillsendafrissonofchemicaleuphoriaintohisbloodstream.Surfingthewebitwastooeasytosearchhimselfandbuildalifetimeoutofwatchingvideoofhisworkandperusingstillimagesofhimself.TooSunsetBoulevard.OntheInternet,apersoncouldspendalifetimeinegomaniacalself-worship.
Sittingonthecouch,heconsideredthecash.Thetenthousanddollars.Consideredwhetherheoughttomentionittohisagentornot.Hishandsqueezedtheremote,bouncingbetweenchannels.Onone,theactorJohnWayneappeared,andheambledintothecenterofawhitespaceandfixedthecamerawithhistrademarkglower.Clearlythiswasasequencedigitallyliftedfromsomeclassicfilmandinsertedintoanewcontext.TheDukewhippedoffhisStetsonanddashedthehatagainstthedustylegofhischaps.“Shucks,pilgrim,”hedrawled.“Iain’tmadeittothetoiletthistime...”
Piperclickedtheremoteandtheimagefroze.
Itwasacommercialtosellabsorbentunderpants.
Hewatchedinshock.Clearlytheactor’sestatewaswillingtolicenseWayne’simageforanything.Thiswassomethingfewactorsforesaw.Howtheirresidualcelluloidselfcouldbecomputermanipulatedtoserveasaslave,adigitalzombiebeyonddeath.TheactorRobinWilliamshadbeenamongthefirsttodraftawillforbiddingelectronicmisuseofhisimage.Astarwithlessforesight,adigitalizedAudreyHepburncontinuedtowork,shillingforGalaxyChocolates.FredAstairesoldvacuumcleaners.MarilynMonroehawkedSnickerscandybars.
Likeghosts,Piperthought.
Anearworm,likeasong,echoedinhishead.
“AdjustmentDayisuponus,”herepeatedtohimselfashewatchedthetelevision.He’dbeenaskedtorecitethatlinesooftenhe’dprobablynevervanquishitfromhishead.
Theenvelopeofcashwasstashedinhiskitchen,inacabinet,stuffedinsideanemptycerealbox.Hewouldspendsomeonalawyer.WouldfinallywritehisownLastWillandTestament.He’dmakesurenoonecouldharnesshisimageafterhisdeath.Thatdemisebeingpeacefulandpainlessandinthedistant,distantfuture,hesupposed.
BackinBeforeTimes...intheworldyouwanttothinkisstillreal...WalterhaddrivenwestthroughIllinois.He’drantedthatthegreatestproofoflove’spoweristhatitcouldn’tbereducedtowords.Loveisn’tascientificexperimentthatcouldbereplicated.Nomanhastobearocketsurgeontorecognizelove.It’slikethatpoemaboutignorantarmiesthatclashbynight.Thatpoem.Wherethere’snojoyorcureforpain.
Whilehiskidnappednewoldmanhadlistenedorsleptordiedinthetrunkofthecar,WalterhaddescribedShasta.EverydetailaboutShasta.
He’dsurmisedthatloveisamissionamangoesoneveryday.Amissionamannevercompletesuntildeath.Inthatway,trueloveisasuicidemission.
Dawsonwasdeterminednottolook.Butthenhe’dlooked,andhewasn’tgoingtolookanymore,butthenhelookedsomemore.Andwhat’swhenhesawthenameonthelist.
Thenamehadalreadyrackedupanimpressivetally.Itwouldn’tbeDawson’slineage,butsomelineagewasgoingtoearnbigvotesonthistarget.Futileasitseemed,Dawsonknewhe’dstillhavetomakeaneffort.SomedayRoxannewouldaskifhe’dmadeaneffort,andhe’dhavetoexplain.Tellherhowhe’dtried.
Dawsonboughtathrowawayphoneatthe7-ElevenandtookittothecenterspanoftheMorrisonBridge,aplacewherenoonewouldoverhear.Notoverthesoundoftraffic.Hedialedanumberfrommemory.Asitrangontheotherend,helookeddownonthedarkwateroftheWillametteRiverandprayedthenumberwasstillvalid.Ithadbeenalongtime.
“Hello?”Aboy’svoice.
Dawsonasked,“Quentin?”
Hissonasked,“Dad?”Musicblaredinthebackground.“Dad,Icanbarelyhearyou.”
Dawsonshouted,“Turndownyourmusic!”
Againstthemusic,hissonshouted,“IsMomokay?”
Dawsonshouted,“Yourmotherisfine,butyouneedtogetyourasstoCanada!”Outhereinpublic,shoutinglikethiswasrisky.Carspassed,butthebridge’ssidewalkwasempty.
Hissonshouted,“Ifyoumeanthewar,I’mjoiningup.Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysit’smydutyasapan-genderedindividualtoshowtheworldthatcourageknowsnogender!”
Whateverhiskidhadjustannounced,Dawsonwasn’tcertain.Inresponse,heshouted,“Therewon’tbeawar!”
Hissonshouted,“Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysthewarisnecessarytopreservehumanrights!”
ItwasDawsonshouting,“I’mtryingtosaveyourlife!”
Hissonshouted,“Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysI’mnotachildanymore!”
Dawsonshouted,“Turndownyourstereo!”
Againstthemusic,hissonshouted,“Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysI’mhermostpromisinggradstudentandthatIshouldstartthinkingformyself!”
Dawsonriskedeverything.IfhetoldandQuentinwenttothepolice,they’dbothbekilled.Roxannewouldbealoneinthecomingnewworld.Noonewouldbenefit.Still,Dawsontold.“Yournameisonalisttobekilled!”
Hissonlaughed.Laughedandlaughed.“Dad,”hesaid,catchinghisbreath,“Iknow!Isn’titgreat!”
Dawsondidn’tunderstand.
“Ievenvotedformyself!”laughedhisson.“It’snothing.”Hesighed.“Dad,don’tworry.It’slike...it’slikethenewFacebook!”
Dawsontriedtoexplainthetruth.Abeepinterrupted.
Hissonsaid,“Dad?”
Thebeepinterrupted.
Hissonsaid,“Dad,Dr.Steiger-DeSotoisontheotherline.”
Thebeepinterrupted.
Hissonsaid,“Dad,Iloveyou.Seeyouafterthewar!”Andtheconnectionwentdead.
AndDawsonthoughtofthequotefromtheTalbottbook:
Wemustkillthosewhowouldhaveuskilloneanother.
AndDawsonletthephoneslipfromhisfingersanddroptodisappearwithhardlyasplashintothedeepestpointintheriver’sdeepwater.
Jamalcalledhismomtotellherhewouldn’tmakeitfordinneronSunday.HecalledfromahotelsuiteinAlbany.Eatingaroundhim,perchedonvariouschairsandsofasaswellasseatedonthefloor,thegroupofthemeatingroomservice,hisfellowteammatesawaitedtheirturnonthephone.Nothiswholelineage,justasegmentofhissquad.Theyweresilentlydrinkingwineandbeerfromtheminibar.Theywerelisteningaseachtookthephoneandcalledhisfamily.Hewantedtosharethesecret.TotellhismamaabouttheDeclarationofInterdependenceandhowitpromisedahomelandwherenoracewouldliveunderanotherlikeanoccupyingarmy.Eachracewouldcalltheshotsinitsownhomelandandnominoritywouldbecalledoutbythehostilestaresofthemajority.Like-mindedcoulddictatetheirownculture.Childrenwouldn’tbeschooledtoserveashumancoloniesofanalienculturalimperialism.
Onthephone,shedemanded,“Whatdoyoumeanyou’renotstoppingby?”
Hewantedtotellherabouthislineage.Forthefirsttimeinhumanhistoryeachlineofpowerwasn’tgoingtobebasedonbloodandmarriagealliances.Jamallookedatthemanwho’dinvitedhim,thenatthemanhehadinvited.Thiscohortwasonlyasmallsegmentofalineagethatcrisscrossedthenation,tonight.Thesemen,eatingroom-servicepizza,eatingclubsandwichesandsliders,andpretendingnottoeavesdrop,theirbrotherhoodwasbasedonmutualrespectandtrustandadmiration.Herehewasonelinkinthischainofmen,noneofwhomwerehisenemy.Everyoneofwhichexpectedhimtobenothinglessthanahero.
HewantedtoreadtoherfromtheTalbottbook,thepassagethatwent:
Thelastthingablackmanwantstobeisanotherfakewhiteman.
Thelastthingahomosexualwantstobeisanotherimitationheterosexual.
Thelastthingawhitemanwantstobeisanotherphonyparagon.
Onthephone,hismamaasked,“Jamal?”Notallscreechylikebefore,sheasked,“Whataren’tyoutellingme?”
Ifhetoldheranything,she’drushdownandinsinuateherself.Thatwasherway.
Tonight,onthelastnightoftheoldregime,thelinesofpowerwereassemblingoutsidestatehousesandcourthouses.Thoseinvitedbytheinvitedbytheinvitedinlineageslinkedbytrust,theymettheirfellowsforthefirsttimeandgaspedinhappyaweattheirownnumbers.Tribeschosenfromthebest,nottheweakest,theygatheredtowaitoutsideofcityhallsandalltheplaceswhereelectedtraitorswouldreturnthecomingmorning.
Ifatarget’svotecountwasastronomical,ateammightbedispatchedtolieinambushoutsidethetarget’shome.Otherwisetheycampedinreadygroups,noonementioningtheirtask.Thetimeforpracticingandplanninghadpassed.Theircomingactionshadtobeasautomaticasputtingontheirpantsbeforetheirshoes.
Mostwerequiet,savingeverythingforthenextday’swork.
Tohiseyesthegroupinthehotelsuitelookedlikethatpainting,thatchurchpaintingshowingChristandhishomeboyschowingdown.ThatLastSupperpicture.Onlywiththempassingaphoneso,manbyman,eachcouldcallhomeandmakehisgood-byes.Nottoexplainhimself,buttomakehispeace.
Theywereanarmyoflonewolves.
ForJamaltheideaofpowerdidn’ttranslateintosexanddrugs.Ashesawit,thoseshort-termpleasureswerethedistractionsmensoughtwhentheyhadnorealpower.Towieldpower,realpower,meantapeaceofmindandsatisfactionbeyondthenumbnessanddumbnessthatthebongandthewhorecouldprovide.
Powermeantaccesstoanythingandeverything.Meaningamanwouldn’tneedtohustleandhoard.Itmeantalifeunencumberedbyback-upplans.Alternateroutes.Secondchoices.
TheTalbottbookstateditsowell:
Eachgroupmustinhabitahomelandwhereitconstitutesthenorm.Otherwiseeitherself-destroyingself-hatredorother-attackingself-aggrandizingoccurs.Drinking,drugs,andtoxicsexualbehaviors
arisewhenculturesarecompelledtosharepublicspace.Nocultureshouldbeheldtotheexpectationsandsubjectedtothewitheringgazeofanother.
Youngpeopleintheirownnationstate,they’dbereleasedfromthecollege-prepstandardsofthealienEuropeanculturethatsoughttostandardizeeveryhumanbeingregardlessofhisnaturaltalentsandinclinations.Thecurrentlyimposedone-size-fits-allcodeofhumanbehavior.PowermeantJamalnothavingtopresenthimselfasanimperfectcopyofsomeonehe’dneverwantedtobeinthefirstplace.
Hislineagehadrejectedtheproscribed,standardizedeverythingoflawsandschools.Thatchutes-and-laddersgameofrulesandtaxeswhereittookforevertoclimb,butonlyonemisstepsentamanintopovertyorprison.
Jamalsensedhowotherswerewaitingtomaketheircalls.Helistenedtohismother’sworriedbreathingandthekitchennoisebehindher.Hewantedtotellherthataftertomorrowtheworldwouldbedifferent.Throughhim,herlifewouldbeimprovedandnoble.They’d,allofthem,beasclosetoroyaltyastheDeclarationofInterdependenceallowed.
Everyone’ssuccessdependedoneveryone.Andduetothat,nonewantedtodisappointsuchhighexpectations.Eachstrovetobeworthyofthehonorbestoweduponhimbyhiscomrades.Byhistribe.
Jamalwantedtotellhismamaeverything.Hewantedtosayhelovedher,buteverybodywouldhear.Instead,heasked,“Feedmydog?”
Shesoundedrelieved.“YouwantIshouldfeedBouncer?”
Hecouldhearherdeciding.Likeshewantedtoyellandtellhimtodraghisasshomeandfeedhisowndamneddog,butlikeshedidn’twanttoyellifthismightbetheirlasttalkonEarth.Heexchangedlookswiththemanhe’dinvited.AmanwhoknewhowJamal’smamacouldget.Finally,heasked,“Please?”
Somethinghe’dneverheardheheardnow.Overthephonehismamastartedtocry.Soevenwithhisteamlistening,hesaid,“Iloveyou,Mama.”Hesniffed.Hecouldn’thelpit.“Justfeedmydog,okay?”
Hismamasniffed.Hushedsohecouldbarelyhear,shesaid,“Okay.”Hervoice,scared.
Jamalendedthecallandhandedthephonetothenextman.
Amongthosewhowaitedforthedawnweretheformerjournalists.Theybidedtheselastfewhoursoutsidewhatremainedofthemajornewspapers.Theyloiteredonthesidewalksaroundthetelevisionheadquarters.Honingtheirresolvewastheknowledgethatthefewjournalistswho’dretainedtheircareersdidsobyinflatingliestoterrifyandenragethepublictrust.Tellingthetruthwasn’tsufficientpower.
Asconsolationtheremainingjournalistsconvincedthemselvesthatnoabsolutetruthsexisted.Thisnewuntruththeypropagatedasthenewtruth.Theentertainmentvalue,theabilitytotitillateorprovoke,cametobethelitmustestofanynewtruth.
Theirgoalnowwastoshapepeople’smindsandwarpinformationtothatpurpose.Honestreportage,whichpeopleinademocracyneededasbadlyastheyneededtobreathe,ceasedtobeapriorityfortheFourthEstate.Thosejournalistswhocouldn’tbecorrupted,theywerediscarded.
Theytestedeachotherwithphotosdisplayedontheirphones.Eachasmilingheadshotofadistinguishedmanorwomanwithneatlystyledhairandagleamingsmile.Grayhairordyed.Wearinganecktieorpearlnecklace.Andthechallengewastonamethepersonandgivehisorhervotetallyfromthelist.Ortorecognizethatthephotowasaninnocentwho’dneverappearedonthelistandwasn’tdeemedatarget.
Thesewerethehollow-cheeked,flinty-eyedformernewshoundswhogatheredoutsideradiostationsandcablenetworks,readytoreturnobjectivitytothepublicairways.
Onthatsamenight,EstebanandBingbidadozenoftheirclosestfriendsattendapotluck.Suppingfrompaperplatesloadedwithmulligatawnyandmoledepollo,thelocalsegmentoftheirlineagefinalizedtheirlistoftargets.Despitetheirweeksofdrilling,apprehensionhungintheairlikethepungentcurry.
Astheassembledmenate,EstebanreadaloudfromtheTalbottbook:
It’slivingamongheterosexualsthatmakesthehomosexualfeelabnormal.Onlyamongwhitesdoblacksfeelinadequate.Andonlyamonghomosexualsandblacksdowhitesfeelthreatenedandguilty.Nogroupshouldbeblightedbytheintellectualexpectationsandthemoralyardstickof
another.
Standinginthecenterofthegroup,thebookopeninhishands,heread:
Artshouldnotbesocialengineering.Artthatseekstorepairpeoplemustberootedfromsociety.
Thenextline,Bingknewbyheart:
Bearingthatinmind,wemustalloweachmantodecideuponhisownhappiness.
BeforehewaswithEsteban,tinyBinghadbeenembroiledinanunhealthyrelationshipwithhispimp.DespiteAudreyHepburnbeinghislifetimeidol,Bing’slifehadbeenafarcryfromthatdepictedinBreakfastatTiffany’s:swankynightclubsandjumpingoutthetopofsuper-sizedbirthdaycakestothevociferousapplauseofmobsoflove-struckShriners.No,inactualitywhenBing’sformerpimpspoke,hewasallthetime,“Thesedicksain’tgoingtosuckthemselves,bitch!”
SowhenEstebanhadmadehisplay,thetiny,youngermanlistened.Theolder,sophisticatedCubanhadinvitedhimtotakeuparmsintheirlineageofpower,andBingrecognizedanimprovedcircumstancewhenhesawit.
ClosingtheTalbottbookandcarefullysettingitaside,Estebanproclaimed,“QueerbodieshavealwaysbeentheshocktroopsinWesterncivilization.”
Wheninnercitieshadrotteddowntothecharredskeletonsoftheironce-eleganthousingstock,hesaid,itwasqueerbodiesthathadbroughtbackthosecrime-riddenneighborhoods.Queerhomesteadershadnochildrentoriskinthefailedschoolsystems.Strongqueerbacksandbrightqueermindshadnothingexcepttheirownlivestorisk!ThoseintrepidpioneershadsettledtheharshwildernessofdecayedSavannahandthederelictwastelandsofBaltimoreandDetroit.Thosequeersettlershadarrestedthedeathspiralofeachlocaltaxbase.Withqueerresolvethey’dtamed
thelawlessurbanfrontier.Withqueersweatequitythey’dboostedthelandvalues.
Hereandthere,hushedcriesof“Amen,brother”punctuatedEsteban’sfevereddelivery.
“Whennobodyelsedared,”hecalledout,“itwasqueercouragethatnailedtheroofsbackonthosehouses!Itwasqueerdeterminationthatrepairedthedryrotandmadetheghettointoasafeinvestmentforwhitebankers.”
Hedescribedhowrisingpropertyvalueshadattractedaspateofheterosexuals.Improvedschoolsandcloseproximitytocityserviceshadbroughtmanymore.Clearly,Estebanhadmerelystartedtobuildhiscase.
Helookedfromlistenertolistener,lettingastretchofquietpassbeforeheredirected.
“Forbetterorworse—”hejabbedaplasticforkforwardforemphasis“—queerbodieshavealwaysbeentheadvanceguardinemergingpolitics,too!”
Citingrecentscholarlywritingsasproof,hedescribedhowMalcolmXhadgoneonthedownlow,servicingthewealthywhitemenhe’dlaterreturntorob.“Butdowecelebratethesubversivequeerenergyoftheman?”hedemanded.“Thatherowhosoughttosubvertpowerbyanymeanspossible?”
Ageneralchorusof“No!”and“Hell,no!”wentupfromthesmallcrowd.
“Don’tevengetmestartedonJamesBaldwin!”Estebanwailed.“Theman...theprophet...thepoetlaureatewhowrotetheliturgyofhisentirerace,andhispeoplewon’tcelebratehisqueerspirit!”
NotonlydidEstebanstewameanchickenmarsala,buthewasholdingforthwithapeptalkthepowerofwhichBinghadneverheard.
Foodanddrinkswentignoredandpeoplesetdowntheirspicymealsandraisedtheirhandsandswayedtogetherintheirshowofunity.TinyBingcouldonlygrin;hewasproudtowitnesstherhetoricalmightofhisman.
“Notsohelpful,butjustashistoricandjustasignored,”wailedEsteban,“wasanotherlittlequeerboy!”
Teasinghislisteners,hedescribedachildwildlyinlovewithaclassmatewhorejectedhim.Thissameboyhadgrowntobecomeadecoratedsoldierbeforefindinghimselfimpoverished.Hisyouthhadopenedthedoorsandwalletsofwealthymaleadmirers,andtheyoungmansoonfoundhimselfleadingapoliticalparty.Andnotlongafter,helminganentirecountry.
“Arguablythemostpowerfulleaderofthetwentiethcentury.”Estebanspatthewordsindisdain.“Andnobodywillspeakofhowhisqueerheartbroughthimtogreatness.”
Thisdemagogue,thislovelornmustachioedgigolohadbuiltanentourageoflike-mindedqueerleadersandlaunchedastyleofvisualimagerythatcontinuestobeemulatedtothisday.Butwhentheradicalqueernessofhispoliticalmovementwasexposedandridiculedbytheworldpress,thatsameleadercalledforthewholesaleexecutionofhisentirequeerpowerstructure.
“Inonenight,”Estebanranted,“theyweresummarilyexecutedandthemanhimselfwastheonlysurvivor,forcedtohidehisqueershameandsufferittohissuicide.”
HisaudiencehungonEsteban’severyastonishingutterance.
“Thatman,”heswore,“inallhisqueerpowerandcowardice,wasnoneotherthan—”HelookedtoBing.
Theyoungermanoffered,“NotAdolfHitler!”
Estebannoddedinwordlessaffirmation.
Herehisaudiencegasped.TheboywhomlittleAdolfhadlovedingrammarschool,herevealed,wasLudwigWittgenstein,atalentedJewwhowouldmaturetobecomeakindofanti-Hitler,abrilliantphilosopherandteacherunafraidtoconcealhisqueerself.InventorofWittgenstein’sDuck-Rabbit.AsforthenightwhensomanyofHitler’scompatriotswereslaughtered,thatwasthelegendaryNightoftheLongKniveswhentheNaziPartypurgeditselfofitsfoundingqueermembers.
Unspoolingbeforethespellboundpotluckerswasahistoryheretoforeforbiddentotheirears.
“Yes,”Estebanforgedonward,“eveninthenobleWomen’sMovement...”
AftertheworkofBettyFreidan,afterthelaborofthe1960s,andthebloodspilledbyagenerationofqueerwomen,theleadershadevictedtheirqueersistersinanefforttomakeliberationmorepalatabletomainstream,middle-classwomen.Heterosexualwomen.Historywouldalwaysrepeatthispattern:Queerfootsoldiersblazingthepathandbeingdismissedoncetheheavyliftingwascomplete.
Alreadybeingdistributedamongthem—amongallthetribesandlineages—wasabook.Becauseallgreatdoingsrequiretheirmanifesto.Everycopyofthisbookwasboundintherichestblue-blackandboreitstitleandthenameoftheauthoronthecoveringildedlettering.BeitTheCommunistManifesto,theBible,theKoran,TheFeminineMystique,orSaulAlinsky.
“Considereveryhipster,”Estebansighed.Onehandflutteredtodemonstratehowwordsnowfailed.Heshookhisheadasifperplexed.“They’recoveredwithtattoosandriddledwithpiercings,butfewofthemknowthenameJeanGenet.AndnoneknowoftheUrbanAboriginalcultureof1970squeerSanFranciscothatrevivedtheprimitiveartsofbodymodification!”
Heallowedtheenergyintheroomtosettle.Everyoneofthemfelttheburdenoffailure.Thesteadfastmannerinwhichhistoryhadrefusedtocelebrateorevenacknowledgetheeventsofqueerhistory.Manysniffedbacktears.Theirfeastofunitybegantofeellikeafuneral.EstebansnuckaglanceatBingtoreassurehimthatallwasnotlost.
“Beginningtomorrow,”hesaidinasoftgrowl,“historywillnolongerignoreus.”Hisvoicerising,hecontinued,“Ourlineageofpowerwillproveitself!Wewillharvestmanytargets,manymorethananyotherlineage!”Heshoutedtobeheardovertherumblingagreementaroundhim.
Bingtookuptherallyingcry.“Wewillproveourqueerpowerandearntherighttocontrolthenation...thatcontrolstheworld!”
Lostwereanyfurtherindividualwordsasthelustyhuzzahsofallfilledtheloft.
Charlieandhisfellowsbowedtheirheadsandprayedforthesoulsofmenwhohadneverfoundtheirdestiny.Theyinvokedthedeadandinvitedthoseancestorstojointhem.Andthewarpartiesswelledwiththelivingandthenot.AsGarretDawsonhadinvitedCharliedidCharlieeventuallyinviteMartinwho’dinvitedPatrickwho’dinvitedMichaelwho’dinvitedTrevoruntiltheirlineagestretchedfromoceantooceanandcitytocity.Andonthatnightthegreatchieftainlineswerecomplete.
Theirswasatailgateparty,theairscentedwithcharcoalandbarbequesauce.Roughmenattiredinbrimmedcapsandcamouflage-printhuntingensembles.
Abovethemrearedthestatehouse,thewayallgrandioseedificesaredesignedtomakethepeopleoutsidefeelpowerlessandthoseshowcasedwithinfeelomnipotent.Thebloated,uselessshapeofitsmarbledome,itwasacitadeltobetaken.ThenewBastille.GarretDawsonglaredupatitliketheridiculousstagesetitwas.Hispaleblueeyesfilledwithcontempt.
Themarbledome,washedwithfloodlights,appearedsolikeafullmoonfrozenonthehorizon.LikeMolochfedonslaughteredchildrenyetalwayshungry.Itloomedabovethem.Nopoliceofficersaskedtheirbusiness.Noonegavethemasecondglance.
Tomorrowthey’dnolongerbemenwhomeasuredtheirtimebyredtrafficlightsandtheirpleasurebypintsofmicrobrews.
Charlieputtwofingertipsintohismouthandcalledforsilencewithalong,deafeningwhistle.Dawsonwasabouttospeak.
Notatallman,butbuiltstrongandmadeleanbyalifetimeontheshopfloor,Dawsonmodestlyacceptedthecrowd’ssilentattention.
“Thequeers...,”saidhe,andhefaltered.
Beginningwithanewbreath,herepeated,“Thequeersbecameartistsbecausenothingtheycoulddoinpubliccamenaturally.”
Fromtheirfirstawareness,heexplained,they’dhadtostudyandmimicbehaviorinstinctualtoallothers.Tosurvivetheyneededtoobserveandremember,andindoingsothey’dservedasthe
scholars,artists,andclericsofcivilization.
Likewisetheblackshadraisedfamilies.Tosurvivethey’dbuiltcareersandbusinesses.Blackshadestablishedchurchesandfoughtassoldiersandsetthemselvesasmoralparagonsofvirtuethatoutshonetheirwhitecounterparts.
“Butidentitypolitics,”Dawsoncontinued,“hasreducedthehomosexualtonothingbuthissexualpreference.Ithasreducedtheblacktoonlyhisskin.Andeachhasbecomeacaricatureofhisformerdignifiedself.”
MenlikeDawsonandCharliehadnotlefttheirdrillpressesandlathesinordertorescuethegaysandblacks.Theirlineshadformedtobattlethesamecorruptidentitypoliticsthatwerenowforcingthewhiteracesintoonemonstrousstereotype.
Theirswasperhapsthemeanestofallcaricatures.
Insteadofbeingsalt-of-the-Earthmachinistsandcarpenters,theywerebeingcompelledbymodernpoliticstorallyunderoneflagasgoose-steppingNaziNASCARstormtroopers.
Gayshadbeencoercedintoatwo-dimensionalidentitythathadreducedthemtohypersexualbehavior,andthatbehaviorhaddecimatedtheirnumbers.Blackshadbeentoldtheywerepowerlessunlesstheybecamethugs,sothatanythingthatcouldbeconstruedasdisrespectledtothemmurderingoneanotherinstaggeringnumbers.
“Whitemen,”Dawsonvowed,“willnotbestampededintoadoptingasimilarself-image.”
Onthecontrary,theactionstheytook,theactionsofallthelineageswoulddestroytheideologicalslaveryofcurrentpoliticsandreplaceitwithaworldwhereprovenheroeswouldsteerthecourse.
Veiledbythesmokeofgrillingmeats,themenprayedtobeworthyofthemyriadcreaturesthathaddiedtobringthemlife.Theysurrenderedthemselvestotheirdestinyandaskedforthestrengthtofulfilltheirlabors.
Asthey’dcalledupontheirforefathers,theyreachedouttotheirsonsyettobebornandrecruitedthemtolendtheirstrength.
Latethatsameevening,SenatorHolbrookDanielsdismissedhisusualcontingentofbodyguardsandjoggedalonealongtheNationalMall.Histrimphysiquefilledhimwithasecretpride.Indoordeskworkandlightweightresistancetraininghadlefthimaspryspecimenofmasculinity,andhereflectedonhisprivilegedstatusamongtheWashingtonelite.He’deasilylivetobeonehundred.
Itwasasweetdeal,beingaUnitedStatessenator.Tomorrowpromisedafreehaircutinthesenatorialbarbershop,followedbyaheftyluncheonbillhecouldignoreinanyofthecity’sfinesteateries.Anendlessstreamofwide-eyedcongressionalpageswerewaitingtobegroomedasinterns,evenassexycollege-agedinternswerebeingmarshaledforhissexualpleasure.And—lestheforget—therewasthewarresolutiontorubberstamp.
Twomillionsurplusmen,undistinguishedyoungmen,tomorrowheneededtoresolvetheirliveswithastrokeofhispen.Itwasallinaday’swork.
Atoughjob,hechuckledtohimself,butsomebodyhadtodoit!
Ashejoggedthroughthedarkness,thenightbreezecarriedthearomaofbarbequedpork.Flamesflickeredorangefromalineofgrills.Asthesenatorpassed,agrimcompanyofworking-classmenfellsilentandwatchedhim.Bottlesofbeerlookedsmallintheirhairyfists.Onebeardedruffiancranedhisneckandemittedathunderousbelch.TheirsilentgazeunnervedDaniels,somuchsothathealmoststumbledovertheedgeofaseeminglybottomlesspit.
There,sunkinthelawnatthefootoftheCapitolsteps,yawnedthehugeexcavationhe’dwatchedgrowfromhisofficewindow.Anotherstride,andDanielswould’vetumbledintoitsdepths.Thatnoonehadfenceditoffwithbarricades,itwasinsane.Suchahazard.Hesensedthebeerdrinkers’eyesonhim,andDanielsturnedtoconfrontthem.
Self-consciousandsuddenlyfeelingvulnerable,hewantedtotellthemtheyweretrespassing.Themallwasclosedtocook-outsandalcohol.Butsomethingintheircoldeyesmadehimholdhistongue.Manyofthemheldcamerasandfilmedhim.Othersswilledbeer.Thesteakshissedandspat,drippinggobbetsofhotfatthatsentupgeysersofbrightsparks.Menglaredsullenlyathimastheyliftedribsanddrumstickstotheirmouths.Theirhugeteethmadeahorriblesound,gnawingagainstthebonesandstrippingawaythegristle.
Inhisfutileanger,thesenatorstoodatthelipofthedeepholeandpointedintoitsemptiness,shouting,“Whenwillthisbefilled?”Whennooneresponded,heshouted,“Thisisahazard!”Anoafishbrutebrokewind.Determinedtohavethefinalword,SenatorDanielsshrieked,“Someonecouldgetkilled!”
Hewasn’tonCNN.Withouttheacousticsofamarblechamber,withoutabankofmicrophonesandamplifiers,hisvoicesoundedfrailandshrillintheopen-airdarkness.
Severaloftheroughneckslookedfromhimtosomethingnearby.Hefollowedtheirpointedglance.
There,neatlystackedalongoneedgeoftheabyss,werebagsofsomething.Piledasneatlyasbricks,whitecanvasbagsformedawallalmostastallasthemen.Danielssquintedtoreadthelabelsprintedonthebags.Intheflickeringlightofscorchinggrease,andthroughthedensesmokeofburningflesh,thelabelswerealmostillegible.
AsacarpassedalongFirstAvenue,itsheadlightssweptthescene.Foraninstant,theywereallilluminated:thesenator,thebeerdrinkers,theirraggedhole,andthebaggedsuppliesstagedbesideit.
Inthatmoment,thesenatorcouldreadthelabels.
Quicklime,thewordssaid.
Aninexplicablefrissonofterrorprickedthehaironthebackofhisneck.Ittookallofhislean,gym-trainedmuscles,allofhisself-disciplinetoturnawayfromthesceneandbeginrunning.Puttingdistancebetweenhimandthemobwitheverystride,Danielsboiledwithconfusionandrage.Tomorrow,hesworetohimself,he’dmakeafewtelephonecalls.
Tomorrowheadswouldroll,damnit,andthatdirty,dangerousholewouldbefilled!
HistelephonewokeGregoryPiperbeforedawn.Accordingtothescreenitwashisagentcalling,butPiperknewbetter.He’dpickup,anditwouldbeayoungvoice,entry-levelyoung,anassistanttellinghim,“HoldforacallfromMr.Leventhal,please.”Aloudclickwouldindicatehe’dbeenputonhold,towaitwhilehisagentfinishedanothercall.Ortwo.Piperknewwherehestoodinthepeckingorder.
Helookedatthebedsideclock.Five-thirty,PacificStandardTime.Itwasn’tevenbanker’shoursinNewYork.Overthephoneavoiceasked,“Gregory?”
Pipersatuprightinbed,stunnedtohearhisagent.Itwasdarkoutside.Hecouldhardlyhearthefreeway.
Thevoicecontinued,“Haveyouseenthetelevision?”
Usinghisfreehand,Piperdugamongthesheetsandblanketsfortheremotecontrol.“Whichchannel?”
Hisagentsnapped,“Anyofthem.”Headded,“Allofthem!”
Piperfoundtheremoteandswitchedonthetelevisionnearthefootofthebed.Fillingthescreenwashimself,wearinghisblueSavileRowsingle-breastedsuit.Lookingdirectlyintothecamera,hesaid,“ThisisTalbottReynolds...”
Piperswitchedchannels,andtherehewasoncemore,saying,“...absolutemonarch...”
Pipertriedanewchannel,andhewasthereagain,saying,“...appointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”
Overthephone,hisagentdemanded,“Didyousignanything?”Withoutwaitingforananswer,hesaid,“We’restillwaitingonthosecontracts.”
Betweeneverytelevisedglimpseofhimself,Piperfoundnosports,nomusicvideos,noadvertisements.Onafourthtelevisionstation,hewassaying,“Eldiadeajustamientoestasobrenosotros.”
Heconsideredtheenvelopeofcashandifacceptingithadimpliedacontractualagreement.Itwasstupid,buthehadn’tmentionedthemoneytoanyone.Ifhecouldavoidthetaxobligationhewould.Onanewtelevisionchannelhewasproclaiming,“Beforecreatinganythingoflastingvalue...”
Thatwashisimprovisedline.Nowthebeer-swilling,cruller-munchingproductioncrew,they’dhave
togivehimawritingcreditontheproject.
Anotherchannelshowedhimsaying,“...wemustfirstcreateourselves.”
Theclock-radioonhisbedsidetablewentoff,butinsteadofamorningtrafficreport,itwashisvoicesaying,“...wemustfirstcreateourselves.”
Overthephone,hisagentstormed.“We’vealreadyissuedaceaseanddesist!”
Thedoorbellchimed.
Ontelevision,dignifiedandhandsome,deliveringhisbestRonaldReagantingedwithhisbestJFK,Piperdeclared,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”
Thephoneheldbetweenhishunchedshoulderandhisear,Piperrosefromthebedandfoundhisbathrobe.Thedoorbellchimed,again,ashetiedthebelt.
Thetelevisionrepeated,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”Toanyoneexcepthimthiswouldlooklikearepetitionofthelasttake,butPiperheardtheslightvariationinhowhestressedeachword.
Inhisear,hisagentswore,“It’sontheradioandallovertheweb!”Overthephone’stinyspeakercamethelayersofsound,eachoffsetbyamicrosecond.“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”AnentirechoircomprisedofTalbottReynolds.Thesynchronizedvoicesresonatinglikeachant.
“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”
Pipercrossedhislivingroomandsquintedthroughthepeepholeonhisfrontdoor.
Fromthebedroomtelevision.Overhisphone.Fromneighboringapartments,thewordscame.“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”
Athisdoorstoodthemanwiththecauliflowerearsandnecktattooofaswastika.Piperwrackedhismemoryforaname.Thelow-rentcinematographer.Intothephone,hesaid,“They’rehere.”Itwasdawnwiththelightrisingbehindthevisitor.Edgingtowardmorningrushhour,thenoiseofthe101grewlouder.
Hisagentasked,“Who’shere?”
Thechorusofwordsseemedtofadeandblur.“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”Becomingaudiowallpaper.Anewnormal.Whitenoise,likethefreeway.Roomtone.
Piperopenedthedoor.Hehadthename,“You’reLaManly,right?”
Hisphonedemanded,“Who’sLaManly?”
Fromeverydirection,“Thelistdoesnotexist.”
Theman,LaManly,reachedintohisjacketandproducedapistol.WithoutawordheleveleditatPiper’schest.
Fromaneighbor’swindow,“Thelistdoesnotexist.”
Asmuchastheimpact,thenoiseofthegunshotrockedPiperbackonhisbareheels.Hisbathrobebillowedopen,revealingwhiteundershirt.Grayedchesthair.Hedroppedthephonebutdidn’tcollapse.Notatfirst.
Hisownvoice,richandechoingnowfromhisowntelephone,begantorepeat,“ThefirstcasualtyinanywarisGod.”Echoingfromthetelevisioninthenextroom.Hisfieldofvisionbegantonarrowuntilhewaslookingdownalong,darktunneltowherethegunmanwaswalkingaway,followingthesidewalktoacarparkedatthecurb.Arushingsoundlouderthanthefreewayroaredinhisears.Nearthecarthemanmuttered,“Damn,”andslappedhimselfontheforeheadwiththebuttofhispalm.Withfaststepshehurriedbacktotheapartmentdoorway.Hereachedin,grabbingthedoorknob,andpulledthedoorclosedbehindhim.Theknobrattledasifheweretestingtomakecertainitwaslocked.Outsidethecloseddoor,hisrapidfootstepsfadedintothedistance.Avoice,Piper’svoice,proclaimed:
Mayeachmanstrivetobehated.Nothingturnsamanintoamonsterfasterthantheneedtobeloved.
Thislefttheactoraloneinhislivingroom.Hisownvoice,recorded,duplicated,overdubbed,
immortal,thevoiceofTalbottReynolds,continuedonandon,evenasGregoryPipersanktohiskneesandbledoutontheruginfrontofhisownimageontelevision.
TheSenatemajorityleadertookthefinalvote,anditwasunanimous.AsheannouncedpassageoftheWarResolutionActavoiceshoutedfromthespectator’sgallery.
“Friends,Romans,Countrymen,”amanshouted,“lendmeyourears.”ItwasCharlieinamomentforallthehistorybooksofthenewfuture.Thoseborrowedwords,wordsCharlie’slineagehaddeliberatedover.WordsthatwouldbecomeasfamousasNathanHale’s.
Themajorityleadergaveledforsilence.HecalledfortheCaptainoftheGuardtoremovethedisruptiveyoungman.Theguardtooknoaction.InthegalleryasecondmanstoodandshoulderedaDragunovsniperrifleandtheredpinprickofitslasersightfoundthecenterofthesenator’sforehead.ThetriggermanwasGarretDawson.
Thatsameyear,grousehuntingseasonneveropened.
Nickhadlivedthroughworse.Atfirstheworriedthepolicewereafterhim.Hecaughtawhiffofsmokeandwenttolookoutthewindow.FlamesrolledupthebricksidesofanUrbanOutfittersdowntheblock.Nosirenswailed.Moreworrisome,noonestoodinthestreettowatch.WhatscaredNickmostwasthefactthatnobodywaslooting.
Hedialedemergencybutcouldn’tgetasignal.Notasmuchasarecordedmessage.
He’dspentthelastfewnightshidinginthecoffeeshopwhereShastahadworkedlast.They’dmadethemistakeofgivingherkeysandthealarmcodebeforeeventuallyfiringher.He’descapedhisplacewithnothingbuthisstashandtheclothesonhisback.He’deatenallthechocolate-dippedbiscottiandwasmildlycuriouswhenthemorningmanagerwouldarrivetoevicthim.That’swhenhe’dsmelledthesmoke.Thewindwasdrivingthefireinhisdirection.
Nickfoamedsomemilkandmixedinadozenshotsofespressoandsomevanillasyrupandcalleditbreakfast.Nobodyhadmessedwiththecansofspraywhippedcreamsoheworkedeachnozzletohuffthenitrousoffthetop.Hecheckedtheselldatesonthegrilledchickenciabattas.Hewashedhisfaceatthebathroomsinkandfinger-combedhishair.WhenhelookednextthefirehadjumpedtoBaskin-Robbins.Consideringhowmuchstockhe’deatenandalltheplaceshe’dlefthisfingerprints,hewasn’tunhappytoseetheinfernobearingdown.Justthisteenybitfuckedup,he’dstartedtofeelsafeagain.
Anyway,itwasaroundtimeforthemarijuanadispensariestoopenup.ThatwoulddountilFirstMethodistatlunchtime,theNarcoticsAnonymousmeeting,theprimoplacetoscore.
Thenthefirstvanarrivedatthecurb.Outsidethefrontwindowasecondvanscreechedtoahalt.Thefirstwasheftingasatellitedishandaligningitwiththesky.Afamiliarwomantookherplaceinfrontofacameraandbegantonarratethefirescene.Acircuslikethisshould’vedrawnacrowdofthecurious.Thatwasthescarypart.Noonegatheredtowatch.Nocarsslowedtorubberneck.Therewerenocars,period.Thestreetwasotherwiseempty.
Anothernewscrewarrivedandsetuptobroadcast.Asdidafourth.Awallofnewscastersstationedthemselvesinfrontoftheblaze.
Nick’sassvibrated.Thebackpocketofhisjeans.Hisphone,withacallcomingin.Keepinghiseyesonthefirescene,heputthephonetohisearandasked,“Walter?”Withnoimmediatereply,hetried,“Shasta?”Aman’svoicesaid,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”Anautomatedrobocall.
ThecallerIDread“Private.”Thevoicerepeated,“AdjustmentDayisupon—,”butNickhungup.Alreadythephonewasvibratingwithacallfromthesameprivatenumber.
Lastonthesceneweretheemergencyresponders.Apolicesquadcar,followedbyasingleenginecompany.Withoutunrollinghosesortappinghydrantsthefirefightersandofficerspositionedthemselvesinaperimeteroutsidethefilming.Camerasswiveledtowatchthem.Nickstudieditallthroughthecoffee-shopwindow.Insomerecessofhisbrainheknewwhatwasabouttooccur.Insteadofwatchingcontentbeingmade,hewaswatchinghistorybeingmade.ThiswasjustlikethatbatshitstorythatWalterhadbeentryingtosellhim.Thatwasit.Morethanever,hehadtofindhisbuddy.Walterwouldexplainwhatwasgoingdown.
BecausejustlikeWalterhadpredicted,thepoliceofficersdrewtheirservicerevolvers.Thefirefightersunbuckledtheirslickersandshoulderedrifles.AndjustasWaltersaiditwouldhappen,thisunlikelyfiringsquadletloosewithaJulyFourthflurryofblasts,asbriefasastringof
firecrackers,fillingtheairwithdriftinggustsofwhitebrimstonesmoke.Andbeforethelastechohaddiedawaytheuniformedmenwerewadingamongthefallenjournalists.
Seizingeachbyafistfulofperfectlycoiffedhair,theyliftedeachhead.Followingclosebehind,amanholdingsomethingbrightwasdraggingaburlapsack.Ateachheadhebroughthisbrighttooldownwithasinglestroke.Aknife,Nickrealized.Andthemanreachedbacktodropsomethingintohisbag.
Anear.Waltersaidthey’dtaketheears.Earssmearedwithpinkmakeupandpowderedwithtalc.Earswithtinytransmittersstillpluggedintothem.
Themanwiththeknifehadaname.Nickknewhimfromsomewhere.No,nothackingoffdeadears,butsomeplaceregular.AndrepeatinginNick’sheadwasamemoryofaman’svoice,thissamemanreciting,“Hi,mynameisClem...”Repeating,“I’mClem,andI’majunkie...”
AdjustmentDayisamisnomer.Alteringhumanhistorytooklittlemorethananhour.
Thepolicestoodaside.Afteryearsofbeingbrandedvillainsbypoliticiansandthemedia,thepoliceturnedablindeyeascitizensluggeddufflebagsintoeverystatehouse,everycourthouse,cityhall,intoeverycollegeadministrationbuilding.Thatmorning,thepoliceknewthecallstoreportfiresandmurderswereonlybait,luresthrownouttodrawthemediaintoanambush.
Everyyearvotersandtaxpayerswerekilledbycriminals.Policemenwerekilledbycriminals.Thisyearcrimewouldseekoutthelawmakers.
Participating,here,inAdjustmentDaywouldexpungeallofBing’sandEsteban’scriminalchargesandwarrants.ItwouldeliminateJamal’sstudentdebt.
Straytargets,ofcourse,hadtobestalkeddownemergencyfireexits,acrossparkinglots,underneathparkedcarswheretheycowered,weeping.Othershidbehindlockedofficedoorsthatrequiredbreakingdownwithfireaxes.Evenwiththesestragglerstheoldregimewouldbeeradicatedbylunchtime.
Thewordsofaformerteachercametomind.Awhileback,aprofessorhadlecturedJamal.ProfessorBrollytalkedaboutthecultureoftheHellenisticGreeks,howtheGreekshadvaluedcomedyaboveallothertheater.Theircomedicplayshadfaroutnumberedtheirtragediesbecausetheybelievedthatallhumanendeavorslookedtrivialandlaughabletothegodswhowatchedfromonhigh.Thegodsfoundmankindendlesslyfunny.
ButwhenChristianculturesupplantedtheGreeks,theChristiansdestroyedmostofthecomedies.StoriesoftragedyreinforcedtheChristianviewpointsothechurchpreservedOedipustheKingandMedeaandPrometheusBoundanderadicatedallthatdidnotcelebratethechurch’sidealsofsufferingandmartyrdom.
FortheancientGreekstheabsurdwasclosertotheprofoundthanthetragicwas.ThisoccupiedhismindasJamallookeddownlikethegodsofOlympus.
Belowtherailingofthespectator’sgallery,thesquealing,teemingcarnivalofthewoundedandtheblindedstatesmen,thiscircusofwailing,flailing,richandpowerful,thesegore-choked,gaspingclownswerethepinnacleofhumanfolly.Hilariously,theyhunchedforwardandtriedtogatherarmfulsoftheirownburst,stinkingintestines.Theirpalehandsheldtogetherthebrainsspillingfromshatteredskulls.Thesewerethesamepencil-pushingbureaucratswho’dvotedmomentsbeforetosendhimandallofhisfriendstobesimilarlyresolved.
AsJamalpickedofftargetaftertarget,hiseverymuzzleflashanotheroldman,athoughtflashed.Theprofessor,Dr.Brolly,inAnthropologyhadexplainedatheoryaboutpratfallhumor.Thegagswhereinsomeonetripsandfallssuddenly.Thosebitsofclumsyphysicalcomedy.Accordingtoanthropologistswelaughoutofsomeprehistoricreflex.
Whenprimitivemanwasprey,whenheandhistriberaninterrorfromasaber-toothedtigerorwhatever,themanwhofellwouldbeeaten.Foreveryoneelse,hisdeathwouldoccurasahugerelief.AccordingtoBrollyallhumorarisesfromescapingdeath.
ForyearsJamalhadwalkedinconstantterror.Beforehewasregisteredfor...notthedraft,heandhisfriendscalleditregisteringforthedeath...beforetheideaofanotherworldwarhadeverappearedonthehorizon...he’dknownhe’ddieyoung.Nervegas-rapedinbattle.
Instead,fromtodayonward,hewasthesaber-toothedtiger.
ThepaininBing’striggerfingermeantmoretohimthanthebullet-shatteredoldmenwhocrawledacrossthesmearedmarblefloorbelowhim.Hisrifle’sblastbotheredhimmorethantheirscreams.Therecoiloftheriflebuttagainsthisshoulderhurthimmorethanshot-to-shitpoliticalBrahminswhotriedtoclawpasteachotherforanothermomentoflife.
Heandothermembersofhislineagestoodinthegallery,avantagepointthey’doccupiedandfilmedfromforweeks.Theykneweveryavenueofescapeatargetmighttake.They’dtakenpositionstoshootaroundanyobstacleonthefloorbelow.
Thescreamsmadeiteasy.ThescreamingmadeBinghatethemmore,ifthatwaspossible,theseoldladiesandoldmenwhocouldn’ttellthetruth.Everystatementthey’dmadewashedgedandqualifiedandconditional.Thesescreamsconstitutedthefirsthonestsoundoutoftheirmouthssinceadulthood.
Whatasight:Richoldmenpoundingandpushing,climbingoveroneanothertofindsafety.
Theystampededlikepanickedfatcats.Wrestled,pilingthemselvesagainstlockedexitdoors.Theyhuddledandweptbeneathdesks.Forhelmetstheyopenedthickvolumesoflawandheldthosebookscuppedovertheirheads.IthelpedforBingtoenvisionthemassround-upandcullingofwildanimals.Avideohadcirculatedbetweenmembersofhistribe.Itshowedfootageofdolphinscorralledinnetsandclubbedastheseawateritselffoamedintoabloodyfroth.Thatslippery,squirmingmassofthedeadanddying,itwasharderforBingtowatchthebeautifuldolphinsdiethanitwastoseethesuitedstatesmendie.OntheInternethe’dwatchedwildrabbitsstampededintopens,greatleapingwavesofrabbitsheavinginonedirection,thenanother,asmenwadedamongthemandcrushedtheirskullswithmetalhammers.Binghadwatchedthevideosofkangaroosandbabyseals.Thecullingoflegislatorswasnothingcomparedtotheclubbingoftinybabyharpseals.
Therecoiloftheriflebuttramminghisshoulder,thatpainstokedBing’sangerandmadehimtakeaimateverysignofmovementinthechamberbelow.
Withtheblessingofthepolicetheseskirmishestookplace.Forthepolicehadalreadybeensacrificedforpoliticalcorrectness.Andthemassexterminationoftheyoungwaspreventedbyforfeitingacomparativelytinynumberofthosealreadyneardeath,who’dalreadyraisedtheirchildrenandbeenfeted.
Thecourtroom,theassemblychambersandon-locationnewscasts,thelecturehalls,theystunkofgunsmokeandspilledshit.
Notuntilthesnipersgavethego-aheaddidtheharvestersventureamongthedead.Hereaseeminglydeadbodyscreamedattheknifepointandatargetwasfoundtobeplayingopossum.HereBingwassummonedtocomedownfromthegallery,andthetargetshriekedsocowardlythatitwasapleasuretoseehimdead.
Thingshappenedtoofasttothink.Somethingmoved,andCharliewouldsqueezeoffashot.Transfixed.Hiseyeswatchedformotion.Movementacrosshisretina.Somethingalive.Anymotionseemedtobypasshisbrain,hisconscience,andputhiminatrancestatethesameasplayingvideogames,sameasadogwatchingasquirreloracatwaitingatamousehole,orlikehisownoldmanonariverbankwatchedthesamered-and-whitefishingbobberafloatthereinthewater,waitingforatrouttotakeabite.
Thetrancekepthimfromimaginingwhatwasnodoubthappeningtohismotherandfatheratthissamemoment.
Anythinkinghe’ddoneatimeago.Inthebackofhismind,Charliehadmulledoverhisreasonsfortakingpart.He’dlostfaithinalltheregular,gradualmethodsforself-improvement.Afteralifetimeofpostingonblogsandvideotapinghiseverymoveandemotionforsocialmedia,hewasfacingnothinglessthanidentityfatigue.Therewerenomorefreshstarts.He’destablishedhisbrandsothoroughly.Documentedhimselfforposterity.TherewasnofrontierwheretheInternethadn’talreadytoldtheworldallabouthimsincehe’dfirstlearnedtokeyboard.
AdjustmentDaywouldgivehimafreshstart.Whetheritworkedornot,itwouldbearadicalshift.He’dbedeadorinprisonorarevolutionaryhero,butanyofthosewouldbeanimprovementonthehappy-sad,hopeful-fearfulordinarynobodytheonlineworldcouldwatchgettingolder,gettingtaller,butneveractuallygettinganywhere.
Suppressinghystericallaughter,hepoppedrichmenandwealthyoldwomen,onlypausingtoreload.Charliewentforkillshotstothebackoftheskull.Anentrancewoundatthetopofthespinewiththeexitwoundthroughthescreamingmouth.Lessclean-upthatway.Proteinisamazingshit,heknew,itwasthegluethatstickstoeverything.CutabodyinhalfwithanAKandyourlineagewillstillhavetoscrapeawayallthescraps.
Wellingupfromdeepinsidehimwassomething.Afeeling.Somethingenormous.TheonlywordforitwasGlee.Forthefirsttimeinhislifehedidn’tneedtoworryaboutthedraft.He’dnevergivenhisfuturemuchthoughtbecausethedraftornuclearwarhadalwaysloomedthere.Itwasinevitablethatafterheturnedeighteenhe’ddie.Buthere,forthefirsttimehecouldseeafuture.Fromthispointonhehadsomecontrol.
Allhislifehe’dbeentaughtthatmenwereprotectorsandguards,andthatthemost-nobledestinyhecouldattainwouldbetodieinordertopreserveanotherperson’slife.Ifhumorcomesfromanything,itarisesfromanimmensefeelingofrelief.Charliefeltjoynowbecauseforoncedeathwasoutsidehim.
Thescenebelowhimwasuglyasuglygets.Bloodyasbloodygets.Butitwasn’ttheworstthatcouldhappen.
AccordingtotheTalbottbook,historywouldneverknowitsgreatestmistakebecausenoonewouldbelefttorecordit.Thetaskathandlookedlikeabloodbath,butitmostcertainlypreemptedanuclearwar.Aglobalfamine.Apandemicthatwipedoutbillions.
AllhislifeCharliehadbeentoldthatheandhiskindweretheevilpatriarchaloppressors,thehaterswho’dcolonizedtheglobeandenslavedthegentlesavagesofRousseau’sparadise.Thankyou,academics.Charliecouldwearthat.Theworse-than-Hitlerlabel.Todayhe’dgivepeopletheprooftheywereright.
Itwaslikethosenewsstorieswherethey’dinterviewtheneighborsandlifelongbestfriendsofaserialkiller,andeveryonesworethekillerwasaregular,friendly,nicest-fellah-on-Earth.AfterAdjustmentDaytheworldwouldknowanewtruthaboutCharliegoodguy144.
Hewastiredoflearninghistory.Hewantedtobeit.Charliewantedthehistoryofthefuturetobehim.
SenatorDanielslaystillamonghisdeadcolleagues.He’dburrowedandwormedhisbodybetweentheleadencorpsesuntiltheirbloodsoakedthroughhiscustom-tailoredsuit.He’dbeenamongthefirsttotakecover,andtheslaughteredhadtoppled,staggeringandtumbling,andfallenbesideanduponhim.He’dfeltthetwitchesandlittlekicksasthelifehadgoneoutofbodies.Theirbloodpaintedthehairflattohisheadandgummedhiseyesshut.Bloodstuckhispantstighttotheskinofhisthinlegsandwebbedhisfingers.Hisbreathswerethequick,shallowsniffsofarabbitplayingdead.Helayfacedownatophishandstohidetheirtrembling.
Thegunshotshadstopped.Thescreams,also.Voicesmovedthroughtheroom,men’swordsandthegruntsofexertion.Theweightonhisbackliftedandwasgone.Thebodybesidehimwaspulledaway.Ahandgrippedhimaroundoneupperarm,andDanielsfelthimselfbeingrolledfaceup.Hisbreathingstoppedashelethimselfbedraggedbyonearm,askiddingdistanceacrossthestonefloorslickwithblood.Thehandletgo,andhelethisarmfalllimp,andhecontinuednottobreathe.Helayfrozenwithshockbutsweatingoffhismaskofblood,fearfulshiveringwouldbetrayhim.
Fingertipspinchedhisear,andajaggedagonybitathisheadwherethetopoftheearmethisscalp.Thesenatorscreamed,tearingopenhisstickyeyelidsandhislipspastedtogether.
Thefingershadreleasedtheirgrip.Amanstoodoverhim,asavagewearingcamouflage-patternedbiboverallsandholdingahuntingknife.Alaborerfromthebarbequethenightbefore.Hislatex-glovedhandwassmearedwithred,butnotbarbecuesauce.Hiseyesmetthesenator’sforamoment,greeneyes,widewithsurprise.
Danielswhisper-begged,“Please.”Prayingforpity,forthesavagetomovealongandleavehimamongthedead.Tearssprangtohiseyesandwashedcleanstreaksdownhisface.
Instead,themantwistedhisheadtowardothervoicesandcalled,“Gotaliveone!”
Discovered,Danielsstruggledtositup.Aroundhimsimilarbloodiedsavageslookedupfromwheretheywerewadingamongthedead.Theheapsanddriftsofbodiesandhalf-bodiesandheadlessbodiesanddeskssmashedtoscrapsofwood.Anearbysavageheldsomethingbloodybetweentwofingersbeforetuckingitintohishippocket.Thisothermancalledback,“Puthimwiththe
leftovers.”Andwithhisowndrippinghuntingknife,themanpointedacrossthechamber.
There,aclusterofweepingmensquattedagainstawall.Baldandpot-bellied.Skeletalandstooped.Likehim,theywereoldmendrenchedinotherpeople’sblood.
Athirdsavage,afewstepsaway,wasleaningover,sawingatsomeonewithhisknife.Heliftedsomethingsmallthattrailedathincoilofwire.Thewirestretcheddowntoliftasmallbox.Whenthecoiledwireandtheboxfellawayfromtheman’shand,Danielsrealizedithadbeenahearingaid.Whatthemanheldwasaseveredear,whichhestuffedintohisbackpocket.
ThemanwhostoodoverDanielssmiled.Itwasawicked,lopsidedsmile,butnotwithoutpity.“Yourememberthathole,outside?”Hejerkedhisheadtowardthebloodygroupofsurvivors.“Youguys’job...”Withhisknifehegesturedbroadlyoverthebutchered.“You’regoingtopilethisbigmessintothathole.Gotit?”
Daniels’sfingerscrepttohisear,towherethepainstillburned.Theyfeltthewarmbloodstillstreaming,stillwarm.Notdead.
“Nowgo,”orderedthesmilingsavage.“Getwithyourfriends.”
SenatorDanielsnoddedslowly,beforescramblingtohisfeet.
BackinBeforeTimes...beforethepitswerebeingfilled...drivingbacktoPortland,Oregon,WalterhadtakenturnswithTalbottReynolds,yellingoutagamethey’dinventedtokeepprovinghewasalive.AtthewheelWalterwouldyell,“A-1SteakSauce.”
FrominsidethetrunkTalbottwouldyell,“Formula409.”
Walterwouldyell,“Seven-Up.”
Talbott,he’dyell,“ChanelNumberFive.”
Walter,“WD-40.”
Alullwouldfalloverthecar.OnlythesoundofIdahohadrushedaroundthemlikeatunnel.HerewereallWalter’sdreams,ofromancingShastawithmoney,ofrisingabovetheeconomicmysteriesthatsubmergemostpeople,hisdreamsmightbedeadinthetrunk.Inhisheadhadbeentheideatoturnaroundandhuntdownanalternatementor.Yes,toburythisdeadoneandlocateareplacement.
Thenavoicewouldyellout,“Icould’vehadaV8!”
Joy.Everythingintheworldwouldmakesenseandwouldn’tbejustjumbledchaos.Thedeadwerebroughtbacktous.Jubilant,Walterwouldforgetthiswasarentalandhe’dputamatchtoafatty.
ThiswouldeatupthemilesuntilTalbottReynoldswouldyell,“Enough!”Fromthedepthsofthetrunk,he’dyell,“Ihopeyoulovethetasteoffat,whiteNazidick...!”
Theyweretallied,thedumped-outsacksofears.Theearsdugfrompockets.Blackearsandwhiteears.Earspluggedwithhearingaids.Earsdanglinghoopearrings.Earshairywithageandearsstreakedwithorangetanningspray.
Ineachstatehouse,aGarretDawsonoraJamalSpiceraddressedthesmall,remaininggroupoftrembling,bloodiedleftovers.“Youwillremain,”hereadfromtheapprovedpageoftheTalbottbook,“yousurvivetodothebiddingofthevotinglineagesandconductallnecessarybusiness.”Thoseallowedtosurvivewouldburythedead.“Youneitherproposeorimposeanynewlaws.Youwillserveasmerelyclerks.”Themenreadingtheselinesincourthousesandcollegelecturehallssaid,“Yourtermwillbeforlife,andifyoufailatyourdutiesavoteoftheelectoratecancallforyourexecution.”
TheTalbottbookmadeitsoundsimple.Onlypeoplewho’dharvestedtargetsonthelistwouldgettovote.Thetallyofeachtarget,combined,determinedthenumberofvoteseachlineagewasallotted.Thereasonbeingthatonlypeoplewithvoteshadmadetheirsacrificeforthecause.Thisensuresthatnobodyhijacksthemovement,becausethepeoplewhorackedupthemostnumberswillallywitheachotherandelectoneoftheirown,andbecauseonlythesepeoplewillhavethegumptiontoholdontopowerviathesameactiontheytooktoattainit.
Officially,liberatedassetsaresupposedtogotothenewgovernment,tooffsetthecostofestablishingthecorrectsystem.Andtheygotocompensatedisplacedpersonsforcedtoforfeit
propertyduetorelocationtothecorrectjurisdiction.
“Oncethebodiesareresolved,”readeachmantohiscaptives,“yourfirstitemofgovernmentalbusinessistoinstitutetheHomelandRelocationAct.”
Backbeforethisbookwasabook...ontheridebacktoPortland,Oregon...TalbottReynoldshadbeenlockedinthecar’strunk,alwaysgoing,“You’dbettergetusedtobeingsomepassed-aroundprisonbitchgettingyourshitholesoldforcigarettes!”
Ashe’dtoldit,Talbotthadasurgicallyimplantedtrackingchip.Implantedhe-wouldn’t-say-where,butjustunderhisskin.ItgaveoffaGPSsignalthattheFBIwouldusetofindhim.Oncethecarstopped,itwouldonlyrequireanhourortwoforagentstotriangulatethechip’slocation.
He’dcitedkidnappinglawsgoingbacktotheLindberghbaby.Saying,“You’regoingtolearnallthesubtleflavordifferencesbetweenNazidickandblackdickandMestizo.”
EvenasWalterhadmarchedhimdownthebasementstairsofanabandonedhouse,andhe’dstrappedtheoldmantoaheavychair,sometinydevicehadbeenpingingtheirwhereabouts.Anyminutenowtheoutsidedoorwouldbustopen,andhe’dbebusted,awaitingtrial,convicted,sentencedtoservewithnotanothermomentofShasta.
Gameover,unlesshecouldfindandexcisethishomingdevice.Cutitoutoftheoldman’shide,whereveritwasburied.Justoneflickwitharazorblade,aswipewithrubbingalcohol,alittledigging,anditwouldbeWalter’stocrushundertheheelofhisshoe.Closethewound.Wounds.Deathbyathousandpapercuts.
Withthisinmind,Walterhadroundedupabottleofrubbingalcohol.Arazorblade.BandagesandSuperGlue.Preparingforhistreasurehunt.
He’dslicedtheclothesofftheoldman,lookingforalittlescartoindicatewherethechipwasburied.Cuttingtheseamsandpeelingawaythearmsofthesuit,thecollaroftheshirt,asifhewerepeelinganorange.Startingfromtheextremities,thewristsandankles,andworkinghiswayinward.He’dfindalumpononeforearmandask,“Isthisit?”
Talbotthadtensed,going,“Findout.”
Walterhadswabbedonrubbingalcoholtocleantheskin,thensunkinonecorneroftherazorblade.Hisfingersslippery,sliding,slimywithblood,himwithoutlatexgloves,hisfingernailsrimedwithred,hiseyesoverflowinginsympathy,thisnotbeinganyWalterwhoWalterhadeverplannedtobe:somebodywhotorturesanoldmanstrappedtoachair,razorbladingaholeinonearm,pickingcarefullyaroundthebiggerveinsandtendons.
Thehunthadturnedupacyst.Thesearchhadtogoon.
Walterhadpeeledbackenoughpantlegtodiscoverasmallhardnessintheskincoveringawastedcalfmuscle.He’dlookedupatthewincing,flinching,gigglingTalbottandasked,“Isithere?”
GigglingTalbott,thecrazyoldgeezer,clearlygettingoffonWalter’ssqueamishagony,he’dgone,“You’llbeverypopularinprison.”
ForcingWaltertosloshonmorealcohol.Rubbingtolocatethelittlehardnessundertheskin.Tryingtopinchit,toholditinplaceashesinkstherazorbladenexttoit.Exceptthehardnessslips.Itmigrates,slidingunderthehairyskin,skinnowgreasywithblood.ForcingWalter’srazorbladetochaseafterit,makingalittleincisionlonger,makingitcutsidewaystofollow,finallystrikingpaydirtonlytofishoutanotherfalsealarm.Alumpoffat.
Despitehisnewoldmanspringingleaksallover,ifWalterhitsomespotinacertainwaythebloodwouldspoutlikesomuchketchup-coloredjizz.Withasmelllikemashingitwithsomebabewho’sbeendeadandburiedinthegroundforthepasttenyears.
OldTalbott,alwaysshakingthenwithlaughter,notholdingstill,tearsstreamingdownhischeeksandeverywrinkleinhisfacestretchedtight.He’dsquirmedagainstthebeltsholdinghisarmstothearmsandhislegstothelegsofthechair.Thedeathbyathousandcutswasn’tkilling,butitwasparingaway,flaying,whittlingawaythehumanpartofWaltersothatthenextlikelylumpwaslessefforttoexcavateandtheoneafterthattooknoefforttolance.Theblood,atfirstsoalarming,hadfadedtoonlyanannoyance,andWalter’ssympathyhadsouredtorage.Afterthathe’ddugindiscriminately.Theempathyburnedoutofhim,Walterhaddugtotorturetheoldmanfornottellinghimthechip’slocationfromthestart.Slicinghimtostripsofbaitsotheoldmanwouldtell.Wouldcryuncle.OnlytohaveTalbottkeeplaughing,swearingatWalter’sineptnessasthe
razorbladehadtotrenchandexploreacrosstheman’sscalpanddownhisbackandWalterbegansplashingcoldalcoholoncutsalreadyopenedtorinsethemsohe’dnotcutthemasecondtime,andTalbott’sheadhadhunglimponhisneck,hisfacepaleandhislaughterreducedtoahissing,likesomeonelaughinginhissleep.
Forfortitude,Walthadsurfedpornonhisphone.Hisfavoritevideos,theclipsthatfeaturedonlydeadpeoplefuckingandgivingblowjobs.Alivewhentheywerefilmed,butdeadnow.Thefactthattheycouldstillexcitehimevenfrombeyondthegravewasthemostproofofahumansoulhe’deverfound.Thosecarnalsaints,theirancestralbeautyhadmadeitokaytosliceupsomebodywhoremainedonlyfleshandblood.
Still,Walter’sfingertipshadfoundnochip.Nodiode.Onlylumpsofscartissue.Justclumpsoffatorwarmcystshe’dhadtopinchoutandexaminetobesure.Precancerouscellclusters.Calcifiedforeignobjects.Bitsofgravelortinycubesofsafetyglass,leftoversouvenirsfromacarorabicyclecrashalifetimeago.
WalterhadcarvedawaytheT-shirtandboxershorts,rubbinghiswetfingersinlittlecircles,searchingforthatforeignanythingthatevennowwasrelayinghislocation,thisabandonedhouse,thisbloodycrimescene,himdrippingwithsweat,wincinginsympathyasheswipedtherazorbladeonlytouncoverabolusoffat...anenlargedlymphnode...somethinghardandfirm,oranin-grownhair,thestinkofacarbuncleburstinginhisface,aboilhe’dlancedbyaccident.Hisnewoldmanflinchingtomakethebladegowrong,laughing,hysterical.
Thepolice,tracingtheping,thesilentdistresscall,thepoliceeverypinggettingthatmuchcloser.
AfterAdjustmentDay,thebookwaseverywhere.Tobeseenwithoutacopyoftheblue-blackbookwastoriskbeingreported.Whatcameofthat,noonewassure.
Despiteithavingbrokenhernose,Terrence’smotherhadallowedhimtokeephiscopy.Urineandcolloidalsilverdappledthepages,buthecouldstillreadthenoteshisfatherhadmadeforhim.Amongthemwasalist.Onthefinalblankpage,undertheheading“MyDreamsforYou,”hisfatherhadwritten:
ExcellentHealthandStrength
HighStatus
Wisdom
Courage
BecomingaGreatHealer
Inbed,Terrencecontinuedtobegineachdaybyreading.Today,forinstance,theTalbottbookdecreed:
TheAmericanoftheformerlyunitedstateswasconstantlyheldincheck.
Hisschoolingwascomprisedoftheconstantrepetitionofthesamenarrativemodel.InthemostclassicstoriesofAmericanfiction,theonesmostpromotedbycriticsandtheschoolsystem,the
samefatesbefalleachofthreemaincharacters.Themeekandobedientdestroyshimself.Themostaggressiveandopenlyrebelliousismurdered.Andnooneexcepttheoftenmute,yetalways
watchfulcharacterisleftbehindtorecountthestory.
Asuicide.Amurder.Awitness.
Alwaysthesuicideoccursfirst.Thisisachildlikeinnocent.InOneFlewOvertheCuckoo’sNestit’stheobedientson,BillyBibbit,who’scommittedhimselftoamentalhospitalinordertopleasehismother.Aftersexwithaprostitutehekillshimselfratherthanfacehismother’sdisapproval.
Therebelismurderednext.Inthesamenovel,thebrashIrishman,RandlePatrickMcMurphy,issmotheredinhisbed.Thewitness,theunspeakingBigChief,breaksoutoftheheavilybarredwardandescapesintotheworldtorelatethestory.
Likewise,inTheGreatGatsby,thedesperateMyrtleWilsonthrowsherselfinfrontofacar.FromthefirsttimesheentersthestoryFitzgeralddescribesherasasuicide.Soonafter,thenewmoneyJayGatsbyisshottodeathinhisswimmingpool.Followingthat,thenarrator,NickCarraway—soundslike“carryaway”—escapesbacktotheMidwestanddeliversthestory’s“takeaway”lesson.
Thisisnottheonlymodel,butitistheidealforAmericans,andtheenduringsuccessofanybookisdeterminedbyhowclosethestoryhewstothispattern.
Oftenoutspokenfemalecharactersaren’tkilled;instead,they’rebanishedorshunned.InGonewiththeWind,theobedientMelanieWilkeschoosestodie,attemptingtohaveachildshe’sbeentoldwillkillher,butwantingtopleaseherhusbandwithalargefamily.Inthenextturn,theboldScarlettO’Haraisexcommunicatedfromhercommunityandherfamily,whiletheunderstatedRhettButlertakeshisleaveforCharleston,escapingthescenelikeBigChiefandNickCarraway.ThesamevariationtakesplaceinValleyoftheDollswherethebeautifulJenniferNorthworksconstantlytopleasehermotherbutfinallykillsherselfoutofthefearthatatumorinherbreastwilldestroyherbeauty.Theambitious,outspokenNeelyO’Hara—afictionalcharacterwho’schosenherstagenamefromanearlierfictionalcharacter—issoondiscardedforhershow-businesstransgressions.Andthebookendsontheplacid,etherealAnneWelles,theoutsider,anescapeefromadistantNewEnglandfamilynotunlikeBigChief’stribe,asthemostunscathed.
InTheDeadPoetsSociety,astudentcommitssuicideoutoffearofhisfather’sdisapproval,ateacherisbanishedforbeingunorthodox,andanoutsiderisleftasthewitness.
EvenaseeminglytransgressivenovellikeFightClubtracedthesamepattern.ThemostinventiveaspectofFightClubwashowitcollapsedallthreeofthearchetypes.Bykillinghimself,themartyrmurderstherebelandbydoingsocreatesanintegratedpassive/activevoicethatrecountsthestoryasanewself-awarenarrator.
Overandover,thelessontoAmericansisnottobetoopassiveoraggressive,buttopayattentionandtoavoidnotice.Toescape,tosurviveandtellthetale.
TobelieveTalbott,halfthepopulationoftheformerlyunitedstateswasalwaysforcedtoliveastheslavesoftheotherhalf.Andthisrelationshipshiftedalmosteveryfouryears.Voterswerecompelledtobeslavesortyrants,tyrantsorslaves,dependingonelectionresults.Theirliteraturewascalibratedtokeeppeoplesanedespitethesewildreversalsofpower.
Terrenceclosedthebookandhelditinhislap.Ifmerelytostayalive,that’swhatTerrencewantedtodo:Escapethisformulaaltogether.Andthat’swhyheknewhe’dhavetofindanotheroption.Somethingalifetimeofbooksandmovieshadn’tprimedhimtochoose.
Halfalive,Talbotthadadmittedtohavingnotrackingdevice.Ithadallbeenalie.ItwasatesttoseehowfarWalterwouldgotoachievehisgoals.Howmercilesslyhecouldact.
Sputteringthewords,breathlessandbonepale,ashenlipped,theoldmanhadsaid,“I’msoproudofyou.”
Walter,notthesameWalter.Walterhadturnedintosomeonehedidn’tknow,hewasslickwiththeoldman’sblood.Stifffingered.
Hisnewoldmanhadgasped,“I’mveryproudofyou.”Hiseyelidshadflutteredandhe’dfalteredasifreadytodie,buthe’drallied.FixingWalterwithred-rimmedeyes,he’dsaid,“Listenclosely.”He’dsaid,“ForIamagreedtoteachyouallthesecretsofsuccess.”He’dswallowedhardandcoughedtoclearhisthroat.“Writethisdown,”he’dordered,“Write:‘DeclarationofInterdependence.’”
Andattheoldman’surgingWalterhadrushedawaytofindapenandanotebook.
Shastacheckedthebatteryicononherphoneandpressedtheswitchtoturnitoff.Thebatteryshowedasmostlydead.Sheknewthefeeling.
ShewatchedTalbottReynoldsontelevisionandtriedtofeelreassured.Noteveryonewasterrified.Themanwhodeliveredfirewood,herprofessorswhoweren’tshotdeadandbeingburiedinthepitonthesoccerpracticefields,mostpeopleappearedtobeexuberantaboutthereshapingofsociety.Noneoftheoldsolutionshaddoneanythingbutmakesocialproblemsworse.Peopleseemedwillingtotrysomethingradicallydifferent.
WhattheTalbottbookreferredtowasn’tawhollynewconcept.LeadingpoliticalfigureslikeKeithEllisonhadlongbeforecalledforseparatehomelands.Infact,Talbott’splanmimickedEllison’sbyrequiringSouthernstatestobeunitedasasinglenation,tobeoccupiedexclusivelybypeopleofAfricandescent.TheremainingstateswouldbereservedexclusivelyforcitizensofEuropeanancestry.WiththeexceptionofCalifornia—theSunshineStatewouldbesetasideforaspecial
purpose.
Strangenewscastersappearedontelevisiontoreplacethosewho’dbeentargeted.Theyexplainedhowthenationalcensusandcollegeapplicationsprovidedtheinitialrollsforracialidentification.Tofurtherrefinetheprocess,thedataofInternet-basedgenetictestingservicesweresubpoenaed.TheGeneticInformationNondiscriminationActwas,noduh,suspended.Thepopularityofsuchtestinghadestablishedaready-maderosterforidentifyingthosecitizensineachregionwhowouldneedtoberelocatedandcompensated.
Shastadidn’twanttobecaughtinadragnet.Blindsidedbyaskeletoninhergeneticcloset.Toplayitsafe,she’dfoundawebsitethatstilltookBitcoin,andshe’dsubmittedasalivasampleunderafakename.Theyweretosendherthetestresultsbytextmessage,toamobilephoneshe’dboughtfromaraggedhoboonMartinLutherKingBoulevard.Thestrangerhadaskedforfiftydollarscashanddidn’tofferachargingcord.Fingerprintsofdriedbloodsuggestedaviolentpast,butShastawasquicktoscrubthemoffwithanantibacterialwipeatSafeway.Thebatterywashalfdeadwhenshegotit.
Thewaitingwasworsethanapregnancytest.Shetriedtocalmhernerveswiththereminderthatbothofherparentswerewhite.Bothpairsofhergrandparentswerewhite.Still,thewaitfeltworsethansomeAIDStest.
InthenewworlddecreedbytheDeclarationofInterdependence,agreatmanypeoplewereenduringthesameordeal.Others,interracialcouplesandfamiliesmostly,weremakingabeelinefortheCanadianborderandseekingrefugeestatus.Othershadself-exiledtoEuropeorMexico,buttheTalbottbookdecreeddoingsomeantforfeitingthebulkoftheirpropertyandassets.Itproposedlike-for-likecompensationonlyforcitizenswhowillinglysurrenderedtheirhomesandbusinessesandrelocatedtotheappropriatehomeland.
Ontelevision,TalbottReynoldsassuagedfears,repeatingthatthedeathsquadshadcompletedtheirwork.Thosewho’dliberatedtheformerlyunitedstateswouldoverseetherelocationprocesswithonlytheforceappropriatetoanyresistancetheymet.
Asshecarriedtheswitched-offphone,tryingtosavethebatteryfortheeventualtext,Shastawrestledwiththeideaofimminentracialseparatism.Nogroupwasamonolith.Notevengays.Especiallynotgays.Queeridentitycleavedfasterthanacelldividingintheuterus.Resistingtheurgetopowerupherphone,ShastarecalledthebrilliantwriterZoraNealeHurstonfromBlackHistoryMonth,whosaidAfricanAmericanscomein
Highyellow
Yellow
Highbrown
Vaselinebrown
Sealbrown
Lowbrown
Darkbrown
NottobeoutdonebythecreamoftheHarlemRenaissance,Shastasystematicallybrokedownwhitenesstothefollowingscale:
Ricewhite
Buttermilk
Been-in-prisonpale
Vampire
Peeledpotato
Ecru
Grocerybag
RegularBarbie
Asfarassheknewshewasnomoreethnicthanpeeledpotato.
Therewasnotellinghowmuchtimehadelapsed,butshecouldn’tresistanylonger.Sheswitchedonthephone.Itchimedwithanewtext.
Talbott,ontelevision,overtheradio,decreedtemporarymeasures.Allpublicemployeesmustremainservantsofthepeople.Theymustforgettheirdreamsofearlyretirement.Yes,they’dpostponedtheirdreamsinexchangeforsecurityandthepromisethatonedaytheyoungwouldrelievethem.Butnowtheyounghadseizedcontrolandweregiddywithpower.Boyswho’dneverexpectedtoattaindrinkingage—they’dbeengrantedafuture—andthelastthingtheywantedwastodelivermailorwriteparkingtickets.SoTalbotthadcalledatemporaryhalttoretirementsandsabbaticalsandvacationsinthepublicsector.Strictlyasashort-term,stop-gapmeasure.Forhowlongnoonecouldsay.Exemptwerethepoliceandmilitaryfortheyhadaidedthetribes.
Foraperiodthenationcontinuedtolurchforward,headless.Theagencieswhosepurposeitwastodelivermailandtowriteparkingticketscontinuedtodelivermailandtowriteparkingticketsbecausetheycouldrallynocounterattackandbecausenooneknewwhotheattackershadbeeninthefirstplaceandbecausenoonewantedtodrawthefocusandbecomethenexttarget.
Thethreatofrepercussionspromptedpublicemployeestorethinkanybadmood.Itmotivatedwithlesscarrot,allstick.
Topreemptfurtherviolence,Talbottappearedonbillboards,abeamingimageofhim,withtheslogan:
ASmileIsYourBestBulletproofVest!
Thesameimageandsloganappearedonpostersandbusstopsandinemployeelunchrooms.Peoplerecognizeditwasasmile-or-be-shotedict,butwhatchoicedidtheyhave?
Itbecamenotuncommontoseeclerksinthepostofficegrinningwidelywhilebeadsofsweatblisteredtheirforeheads.Fortheirsoleexitstrategywasviaadirtholefilledwithquicklime.Thuspublicemployeesconstitutedanewserfclass,tiedtotheirtasks.Heldlikechattels.
AspertheTalbottbookpeoplewerekeptconfused,livingonthebrinkofchaosforsolongthatthey’dbegratefultoacceptthetermsofanynewgoverningbody.Thewordgratefulfallsshort.Absenttheconstantthreatofdeath,theyweregleeful,joyouswithrelief.Willingtopledgeallegiancetoanynewordersolongasitkeptthepeace.
Moneywasnolongerpower.Merelyashort-livedtool.
Thedollar,Talbottdeclared,wasdead,andthenewcurrencyhadtoflowdownwardthroughthemembersofeachlineage.Throughthememberstotheirfamiliesandlovedones.Evensothenewcurrencywasshortlived,fadingtoplasticfilminfewerthanahundreddays.Andbecausemoneycouldnotbehoardedithadtobetradedforbreadandwine,andbecausemorebreadandwinewereneededmorepeoplewereemployedinraisingwheatandgrowinggrapes.
Andalwaystherewasthepossibilityofanewlist,thisonedirectedatunpopularbusdriversandmetermaids,andthisspurredterrifiedsmilesandagrovelinghumilityamongcivilservants.Everyoneelsekeptalowprofileandforonceweregladnottobegovernmentworkers.TotheMillennialsoftheyouthbulgethestreetsweeperwasjustasguiltyasthesenatorandjustasreadytoseethenewgenerationmarchedofftowar.JustastheFrenchReignofTerrorhadcommencedbybeheadingroyals,thenexpandedtoseveringtheheadsofclericsandclerksandservants,thedangerexistedthatAdjustmentDaywouldbecomeanannualevent.
Fromwhenitbrokeoverthedistanthorizon,thefigurelookedlikeahaunt.Thinandshimmeringinthedesertheat,wavering,flickeringlikeaflame,itgrewtallerwitheachstepalongthehighway.Itbroughttomindabandonedanimals.Thedogspoorpeopletookouttothecountrysidetodump,hopinghouseholdpetscouldfendforthemselves.Starvedafewdays,thoselapdogsandpedigreedmuttsalwaysresorttoeatingtheshitofotheranimals.Thatshit,lacedwiththeeggsofblackflies,eggsreadytohatchoutworms.Theresultbeingadumpedanimalstarvesallthefaster,eatingmoreshit,hatchingmoremouthstofeed,andfinallyfindingabush,atree,afence,butshadeenoughwhereapooranimalcancollapse,panting,anddie.
That’swhattheghostlyfigurebroughttomind.
GarretDawsonhadonlytoturnhisheadtowatchthestranger’sprogress.Formershopsteward,
princeofCaucasia’smost-powerfullineage,helayonthedustyroadside.Withhistophalfunderhistruck,hishandstwistedabearingcapoffthedrivelineU-joint.Hislegsstretchedacrosstheroad’sgravelshoulder,fullinthehotsunshine,untilhisjeansfeltsteam-ironedtohislegsandhistoesfeltbakedinsidehisboots.
Hepickedtheneedlebearingsfromthecapandcleanedeachinhismouth,spittingawaytheburntgrease.Peekingtoseethestrangercomeanotherstretchcloser.Byfeel,hisfingerspressedthebearingsbackintotheirrace.Thedifferentialinputyokewasalmosttoohottotouch.Histoolboxsethalfintheshade,socketsetsandextensionsjustalongreachaway.
Theradiowasplaying,turnedupsohecouldlisten.Thatman,Talbott,wason.Nomusic.Nobroadcastballgames.TheentiretyoftelevisionandradioplayednothingbutTalbottReynolds.Newrulingpotentate,mostlikelyhelivedinacastle,luckysumbitch,waitedonhandandfootbyteenagevirgins.Thevoicerattledinhistinnydashspeakers:
Paradiseisn’tcreatedbysplendidarchitectureordramaticscenerybutbythequalityofsoulsthatpopulatetheplace.
Thegreatman’svoiceechoedacrossthesandandsagebrush.InthetimesinceDawsonhadfirstheardhisbearingburnout,notonecarhadgonepast.Hisvisitorhecouldseewassomethingwoman-y.Minusherdustyclothes,hefiguredshehadn’tthebootytohideherbackhole.Andwhatthesunhaddonetoherblisteredskin,ithaddonetwiceovertoherscorchedhair.Thewindhadknottedthestrands,andsweathadplastereditflattoherheadwithdust.Talbott’svoicedeclared:
Ifamancanfacerealityattheageoftwenty-five,atsixtyhecandictateit.
Shedidn’tlooklikemuch,butjustincaseDawsonslippedoffhisweddingringandstuffeditinafrontpocketofhisjeans.Herolledaneedlebearinginhismouth,suckingoffthescorchedgrease.Hespatblack.
Tuckeddeepinhispocket,hisfingertipsfeltaslipofsomething.Asheetofpaper.Waddedandsoftwithage,thepaperlistedtheitemshe’dpromisedhiswife,Roxanne,he’dbringhome.Herhandwritingwouldbeillegiblenow,creasedwithwrinklesandwashedwithhissweat,butheknewthelistbyheart:
Coffeefilters
AAbatteries(forkitchenremote)
Avocados(notHass)
Toiletpaper
Peacocktongues
Lifehadn’tslowedany,hereckoned.Exceptnowtheymeasuredtheirpassingdaysinpeacocktongues.
Aheartbeatlatertheabandonedwomanhadstaggeredwithinspittingdistance.She’dcometostandbesidehisrig,histoolboxatherfeet.
Assheedgedwithinhearingoftheradio,thewomanhesitatedasifspookedbythevoice.Theradiopreached:
Whentheyrun,huntthem.Findthestragglerswheretheyshelter.Theshametheyfeelcomesfromsquanderingtheauthoritybuiltupforthembygenerationsoffathers.
ToDawson’smindthereweredifferentdegreesofsunburn.FirstwasRoofer’sTan,fromlayingtarpaperandstaplingshinglesonplywooddeckingangledtoofferamanlikesomuchblisteringsteakforthesuntobroil.Theevendarkershadesincluded:
CastawayinaLifeboatintheOpenOceanLiver-Colored
HawaiianTropicSPF#5BondiBeachUnder-the-Ozone-HoleSuicideRed
BaindeSoleilSaint-TropezOrange
ArnoldSchwarzeneggerRoll-OnPro-TanBronze
DementedTucsonBagLadyBakedBrown
Thisstrangerwasnoneoftheabove.Hersunburnredhadblisteredandpeeledawaytorevealovalsoflily-white.Herswasthefirstsunexposureofacossetedlifetime.
Dawson’slips,hefigured,wereblackwithgrease,butherswherefrostedwhitewithflakesofdriedskin.Herteethlookedstraightandwhiteasamoviestar’s.
ItwascommonknowledgethatmanytargetshadsidesteppedAdjustmentDay.Mostlyacademicshadmanagedtoevadesquadssinceschoolsofhigherlearningkeptnotoriouslyerraticschedules.Wordwasthesefugitiveswereplayingdress-upinragsandtryingtopassthemselvesoffasnormalswhiletheypickedtheirwaytowardtheCanadianborder.Mexicodidn’twantthem,butCanadahadn’tclosedthedoorentirely.WashingtonStateRoute21rollednorthacrossthecalichescablandsofeasternWashingtonState,straighttotheborder,butonlyabornidiotwouldhikeitinhotweather.
IftherewasanythingDawsonknewaboutacademics,itwasthefactthattheyweren’ttoobright.
TheclosesttownbackthatwayswasKahlotus,agoodtwelveclicks.Shesteppedclosertohistoolboxandsquatteddowntoseeunderthetruck.“Heymister,”shedrawled.Hervoicesoundedput-on,pickedupfromrerunsofHeeHaworTheBeverlyHillbillies.“Hitcharide?”
Dawsonrolledtooneside,facingher.Hesnakedthephonefromhisshirtpocketandframedherblisteredface.Ifthestrangerknewaboutfacerecognitionsoftware,shewastootiredtocare.Hesnappedapictureandtextedit.Totesther,heheldouthishand,palmup.“Youwanttoreachmethat7/8thsextra-deepsocketontheoffsetextension?”
Herfadedblueeyeswenttothearrayofchromedtoolsinthebox’stoptray.Hereyestwitchedoverthehexnutdriversandsnapwrenches.
Roxannewould’veknownthecorrecttoolonsight.
Dawsonrolledtheneedlebearingbetweenhislipslikeatoothpick.Toshowhisimpatience,hesnappedhisgrease-stainedfingers.
Couldbeaheartbeatlater,sheslappedsomethinghotmetalintohishand,andwhenhebroughtitintosightitwasaclosed-end5/8thswrench.
Hisphonechimed.Thedatabasehadherpegged.Thisstarvedwretch,crouchedhere,herfeetflappingintornbasketballshoes,herlegsandarmslostinbaggycoverallspatchedwithducttape,thetapecurledupattheedgesandblackwithgrime,hernamewasRamantha.She’dgonemissingfromtheUniversityofOregonwhereshe’dheadedtheSelected-GenderPathwaysDepartment.Butshewasadeadacademicwalking.Asmallarmyofbountyhunterswereclosingin,fast.Thenearestwasonlyalittlewaysback,andhereshe’dwanderedintoDawson’slife.Awindfall.Alreadydoomed.
Hervotetallywasameaslyelevenhundred.Itwasn’tadynasty,buthecouldmakeasmallfortunebyvotingthewayofthehighestbiddereveryelection.Whetherhecouldmurderher,andhow,wasanotherquestion.
Maybeshereadthisinhiseyes.Shesaid,“Isupposeyou’regoingtokillme?”Hervoicehadlostitsyokeltwang.Itsoundedcosmopolitan,cultured.Nowadays,culturedwasbad.Culturedgotyoukilled.
Fromthecabofthetruck,Talbottlecturedatfullvolume:
AdjustmentDayisnotaboutvengeance.Thehunterdoesnothatetheelk.Heholdsgreatrespectforhisprey,butthehunterknowstheanimalmustdieforhisownsurvival.
ItstruckDawsonasashame.Lookingather,destitutelikethis,gritcrustedaroundhercrackednostrilsandcakedinthecornersofhermouth,herneckfesteringwithmosquitobitesandrawscratchmarks,hiddenunderherunwashedstenchandherclaptrappoliticalideologyhecouldtellshehadoncebeenaprettyfine-lookingyounglady.
Shetwistedhernecktolookbackoveroneshoulder.Squinting,hereyessearchedthehorizonforpursuers.Tonooneinparticular,shesaid,“Itwasn’tsomerun-of-the-millpantyraid...”Hoarsewithmisery,hervoicewasbarelyaudible.“Theyhadguns.”Thesquadshadleftheralive,shesaid,andthey’dorderedhertohaulherdeadcoworkerstotheburialpits.“Myentirestaff...”
Notaheartbeatlater,herkneesbuckledandshedroppedfromsquattingtokneelingdefeatedinthesharpgravel.Withherheadbowed,herhairdangledtohideherface.Ahumansacrifice.She’ddugalinoleumknifeoutofhistoolboxandofferedit.“Takeit,”shesaid.“I’mbegging.”Herotherhanddrewthefriedhairbacktouncoverherear.“Cutitoff,buttakemetotheborder,please...”Shekneltthereinthedustasiftootiredtorunanyfarther.Ifhedidn’ttargether,someoneelsewould.
Tortureornot,shewantedhimtoreportherasdead.He’dpocketthevotes,andshe’descapeintoCanada.Whatwasleftofher.Itlookedlikeawin-win.
AgainDawsonsnappedhisfingers,butthistimehepointedatthesockethewanted.Thefirstbountyhunterwasliabletocatchupsoon.“Samantha?”hesaid.
“Ramantha,”shesaid,correctinghim.Shehadthatmuchprideleft.Shesetasidetheknifeandretrievedthesocket.Sheseemedtogetthemessage.
Nobodywasgettingcarvedup,andnobodywasgoinganywhereuntilhecouldgetthisdrivelineattached.
Aregularnotebookhadn’tworked.InaworldbeforeTheList...theworldyouthinkissostable...Walterhadn’tbeenabletowritethatfast.Noonecould’ve,notasfastasTalbottReynoldshadtalked,crazedashe’dbeen.Giddywithbloodlossfromtherazornicksanddiggingsthathadkeptleakingblood,hisheadhadlolled,andhiseyelidshadfluttered,woozywiththeecstasyofhispain.Stillnakedandstrappedtoachairthatstoodinthepuddleofthegreatman’sownsweatandpissandblood,longstringsofspithadloopedfromthecornersofhismouthasheraved.Ajabberingcadaver.Anoracledeliriousonanoverdoseofendorphins.
Anotebookhadn’tworkedsoWalterhadtradeditforalaptopcomputer.HisfingersracingtokeepabreastofTalbott’swords.HowthiswasgoingtomakehisfortunesohecouldproposetoShasta,Walterhadnoidea.
Ashetappedthekeyshisfingertipsleftredfingerprints.Leavingthekeyboardsticky.SpiralsandwhorlsofTalbott’sblood.
Talbottdictated,“Thehomosexualwillalwaysbeanengineofwealthproductionbecausehedoesnotsuffertheexpenseofraisinghisownchildren.”HepausedtowatchWalter.Tobecertainhiswordswerenotwasted.“Thenextgenerationofhomosexuals,”hecontinued,“isalwaysborneandraisedbyheterosexualsbeforeleavingtojoinitsbrethren.Thustheindustryoftheadulthomosexualmayaccumulatewhiletheindustryofheterosexualsissiphonedawayforchildrearingcosts,whichultimatelybenefitthehomosexualcommunity.”
Waltercompletedthepassage,repeatingaloud,“Homosexualcommunity,”toindicatehe’dcaughtup.
“Plusthetimeofthehomosexual,”Talbottlectured,“isnotfritteredawayinchildproductionandmaybeallocatedtoimprovinghisskillsetorsimplylaboringlongerhourswithoutthecostofneglectingafamily...”
Walterkeyboarded,echoingthefinalwordsaloud,“...thehomosexualstatewillalwaysenjoyacost-freeinfluxofnewcitizens.”
Todate,therichmanhadadvisedWaltertopresentapatternandallowothermentofulfillit.Walterwastosetinmotionamachinethatnoonewouldbeabletostop.Amachinethatwouldrunitself.ThatevenWalterwouldnotbeabletostop.
Howthiswouldmakehimrich,Walterhadn’tthefoggiest.Likemostwritershe’dbeentoobusytypingtothink.
“Inordertopreservetheintegrityofmutuallyexclusivehetero-andhomosexualnationstates,”Talbottcontinued,“theheterosexualchildrenborntolesbiansandthehomosexualsborntoheterosexualsmustbeswapped...”
Waltercompletedthesentencealoud,“...inequalnumbers.”
Talbotthadgasped.Hismutilatedtorsohadtwistedagainsthisbonds.“Ifanunequalnumberofpersonsmustbeexchanged...”
Speakingthewordsashetypedthem,Walterhadsaid,“...thenadowryorransomwillbepaidtocompensatetheparentsnotreceivingachild.”
Soithadgone,dayafterday.TheoldmanhadspewedwordsandWalterhadfaithfullycollectedthem.Theonlyothertask,theonlytangibletaskthatTalbotthadorderedhimtocarryout,wastobuildawebsite.WheneverthemanhadsleptWalterhadtinkeredwiththesite,anditwasalmostcomplete.
Aproposofnothing,asifinamomentofdelirium,theoldmanhadfixedWalterwithamanicgrinandshouted,“Asmileisyourbestbulletproofvest!”
Gibberishornot,Walterkeyedthewordsintohisdocument.Trusting,alwaysfaithfulthattheramblingsofthisoldcootweregoingsomewhere.Thathewasn’twastinghislifedocumentingthedyingwordsofalunatic.
Thewebsite,forinstance,theoneTalbotthadtoldhimtobuild,ithardlyseemedlikeahigh-techmoneymaker.
Itstillhadn’tlaunched,notyet.ButWalterhadbuiltitexactlyaccordingtoTalbott’sinstructions,rightdowntothestupidname.Anothingname.Nothingclever.Thisyammering,grimacing,dementedoldmanhaddemandedthesitebecalledsimplyTheList.
Thepostofficeclerkreachedunderhersideofthecounterandretrievedaform.FormNumber346,ApplicationforResettlementinAppropriateHomeland.AsshehandedthepaperacrossthecountertoGavyn,shesmiled,lickingherlips,andsaid,“Funny,butyoudon’tlookblack.”
Gavyntooktheform,saying,“I’mnot.”
Hereyeslingeredoverhishair,suchredhair,hiswidejawline,hisbroadchest,andshesighed.“Whatacryingshame.”
Whatcouldhesay?He’ddonenothingwrong.Hewassimplyfollowingthenewlaw.Gavyntoldherthanksandtooktheformtoacounterunderthewindowswherehecouldfillitout.Peoplestoodinlinewaitingtomailpackages.Peoplewaitedtoexchangesmallamountsoftheiroldmoneyforthenewperishableskinsmoney.
Thefirstlineoftheformaskedforhisname.GavynBakerMcInnes,hewrote.
Hefilledinhisplaceofresidence.Hiscurrenthomeland.Hisparents’names.
Underage,hewroteeighteen.
AtWorkSkills,hehesitated.Hewasanexpertatmanythings,noneofwhichhecouldenteronanyofficialgovernmentform.
UnderHighestLevelofEducationAttained,hewrotethathe’dgraduatedfromhighschoolandgavethedate.Ithadbeenyesterday.
BeforeAdjustmentDay,beforeanytalkofhomelandsandrelocatingpopulationsaccordingly,backinninthgradeGavynhadlearnedathingortwo.Forinstance,heknewthatteachersteachalotofstuff,butonlywhattheywantakidtoknow.Theimportantthings,he’dhadtodiscoveronhisown.
He’dlistenedashisteacher,awomanwho’dneverbeenbeyondNorthAmerica,explainedthewholeofEuropeandAsia.Gavynhadtakennotesasanotherteacher,who’dneverwrittensomuchasashortstory,dissectedFaulkner,Fitzgerald,andDonne.Whenheechoedbacktheirpalemisconceptionstheypraisedhimandpronouncedhimsmart.Smart,yes,smartenoughtoknowhestillunderstoodnothingandthathisteacherswereidiots.Nothingexcepthisownhuntintherealworldwouldevereducatehim.
UnderReasonforRelocation,againhehesitated.
Gavyncravedahappinessthatwouldmakehisparentsvomittowitness.Heyearnedforalovethatwouldcompletelydestroytheirloveforhim.Hislifewasaneither/orproposition.He’dsomedayhavetochoosebetweenhisownhappinessandtheirs.
UnderCriminalRecord,heliedandwrote,“None.”Officiallythatwastrue.Hedidn’twanthisrelocationtobenixedforanyreason.
Hewonderedwhatitfeltliketowipeawaysomeone’slifetomakeroomforyourown.He’dtrainedhimselfnottowantanything.Christmasandbirthdaysweretheworst,occasionsbuiltaroundthewantingofthings.WhenhisparentshadaskedhimtowritehislistforSantaClaus,Gavynhadhadtoconsulthisclassmates.Asifhewereconductingananthropologicalstudy,he’dsurveyboysabout
whatwouldmakethemhappy.LegosetsorNintendo,whatevergotthemostvotes,that’swhathe’dpretendtowant.Unwrappingit,he’dhavetopretendhisdelight.Hecouldn’tallowhimselftoconsiderwhathereallywanted.
Thenextquestionasked:Haveyousoughtprofessionalmentalhealthcounseling?
He’dbegunhissecretlifebyshopliftingclothes.He’dwalkthroughSearsandtryonshirts,walkingoutwearinganewshirtunderneathhisoldshirt.Acoatunderneathhiscoat.AfterSears,he’dhitJCPenneyorNordstrom.Hecouldneverexplainashoppingbagfilledwithleatherjacketstohismother.ThesolutionwastotakehisloottothemallofficeandrelinquishitattheLostandFound,alwaysfillingoutacardwithhisnameandcontactinformation.Afterthreeweeks,whennooneappearedtoclaimtheseitemsnoonehadactuallylost,themallwouldphonetosaytheywerehis.Problemsolved.
Itwastheperfectlaunderingscheme.Butitcouldn’tkeeppacewithhisstealing.Themallstaffandhisparentswouldonlyaccepthimdiscoveringsomanywindfallbagsofdesignershoesandbelts.Everythingalwayshisexactsize.Hewasimmenselyproudofhisskillatsomethinghecouldneversharewithhisparents.
Besides,owningtheclotheswasn’tthepoint.Thejoywasinfindingtheitemandstalkingit.Circlingit.Waitinginalustfultrance.Readytopounce.Intheclutchesofsomeimpulsehecouldn’tcontrol,hebidedhistime.Oftentheshirtwasn’tanythinghe’deverwear.Hemightevenhateit,butagain,theexcitementwasn’taboutowningitforever.
Ifanything,owningtheshirtorthejeansfilledhimwithshame.Theyservedasremindersofhiswerewolfsideandhoweasilyhecouldthrowawayhislaw-abidinglife.Tothatend,Gavynhadbeguntoburntheplunderinthefamily’sbasementfireplace.Onafternoonswhenhisparentswerestillatworkhe’dholdashirtatarm’slengthandplaytheflameofamatchalongtheluridpaisleycloth.Burningtheclotheswasalmostasenjoyableasstealingthem.He’dlayflamingpantsacrosstheandironsandkeepaddingshirtsandsweatersuntilthey,allofthem,werereducedtopowderygrayash.
Hisdownfallhadbeenaleatherbomberjacket.Redleather.Oxblood.Thesatinlininghadburnedashadtheknittedcollarandcuffs,buttheleatheritselfhadgivenoffblack,stinkingsmoke,thesmellofastrandofhairheldinacandleflame.He’dbeenfranticallyfanningthesmolderingpilewhenhismotherhadwalkedintothebasementgameroom.
Hetoldhereverything.Okay,halfofeverything.Thehalfhethoughtheunderstood.Theshopliftingpart.Andsheaskedifhe’dagreetoseeacounselor.
EnterDr.Ashanti.TuesdayafternoonsGavyntookabustothebasementoffice,downtown,partofthecounty’smentalhealthservicesprogram.Paymentwasaccordingtoaslidingscale,butitstillmeanthismotherhadtopickupextrahoursatwork.He’dsitinthewaitingroomwithotherpimplyboyshisownage.Someaccompaniedbyparents,mostnot.
ForonehoureveryTuesday,GavynsatlisteningasDr.Ashantiexplainedthatshopliftingwasapre-sexualimpulse.Textbookwords.Instalkingclothes,Gavynwaspracticingtheskillsofseduction.Followedbyacquisition.Endingindivestitureofthedesiredobject.Itmadesense.
WhatGavynshoulddowiththisimpulsewasanothermatter.
Thereinthebasementoffice,thewallscoveredincorkboardsquares,pushpinsholdingthecornersofpostersshowingsailboatscanteddramaticallyabovecaptionslike“FindtheWindThat’sGoingWhereYouWanttoBe,”Gavyneventuallybroke.Hewasslumpedinabeanbagchair.Thedoctorsatinaswivelchairpulledawayfromhisdesk.
Gavynwaslookingatasandcandleonthedesk.Hecouldn’tlookatanyone’sfacewhenhefinallysaidit.“IthinkI’mgay.”Inawhisper,incasethewaiting-roomkidscouldhear.
Ashanti’sresponsewasinstant.“No,”heshookhishead,“you’renot.”
Stunned,Gavyncouldn’tthinkofarebuttal.Thedenialdidn’tresolveanything.Gavynriskedalookathim.
Thedoctorhadsteepledhisfingertipstogether.“Aftertalkingtoyousoregularly,Icansafelysaythisisaphase.”Heshuthiseyesandsnortedsoftlyasifamused.
Atthesametime,Gavynfeltgratefulandenraged.Theonefearcentraltohisself-identity,itwasbeingflat-outdenied.
Ashantispokewiththecertaintyofafaithhealer.“You’renothomosexual.”
Alltheextrahourshismotherhadworked.Afterallthemoneyshe’dpaidtohelpresolvethiscrisis,thedoctorwasgoingtodenyanyissueexisted.Themoneyandtimewouldbewasted,andGavynwouldbebackatsquareone.
Dr.Ashantiglancedattheclockonhisdesk.Thesessionstillhadtwentyminutesremaining.“Don’tyoufeelbetter?”heasked.Hissmugsmirkandarchedeyebrowseemedmocking.
Gavyndidnotfeelbetter.Whathappenednextwaslesssexthanitwasapoliticalact.Gavynwastakingpartinagameofchicken.Heslowlyrolledhimselfoutofthebeanbagchairandmadehiswayacrossthecarpet.Ashantididn’tstophim.NotevenwhenGavynkneltbetweenhislegsandfoundthemanalreadyerect.Gavynundidthebelt,thetopbutton,andpulleddownthezippercarefully,stealthily,asifhisplanwassimplytostealtheman’spants.
Gavynsmirked.Ashanti’sfacehadgoneslack,hisbreathingshallow.HiseyesmetGavyn’sevenasthehighschoolfreshmansqueezedafistaroundtheerectionthatwaslikeathirdpersonintheroomandslidbacktheforeskintorevealitsleakypurplemushroom.Gavynclosedhismoutharounditanddidn’tflinchwhenthefirstjetofraweggwhite,thathotsyrupofsourcream,salt,andonionshitthebackofhisthroat.Anothersurgesplashedupintohissinusesandbubbledouthisnostril.
Hewasnolongeravirgin,atleastnothisthroat.Thisfeltlesslikeasexualactthanlikesomeonewithabadsinusinfectionhadsneezedinhismouth.
He’dmadethedoctorwrong.Gavynhadprovedhewassmarter.Heatleastknewhimself.Theclockshowedthatelevenminutesremainedinthesession.
Thedoctorpanted,bonelessinhischair.Brownmolesspottedhisscrotuminprofusionandwirygraypubichairexplodedfromaroundthebaseofhislimppenis.Hisuntuckeddressshirtstretchedtocoverhisroundbelly,andfromthislowanglethelooseskinofhisneckwasgatheredintoasinglefoldthatlookedlikeashavedvaginajustabovetheknotofhistie.
Asunappealingasthemanlooked,hewasstillGavyn’sfirst,andGavynknewhewouldalwaysrememberthismoment.Victoryornot,itfeltmoreexcitingthanshoplifting,butonlymarginally.
Intheweekstocome,hismother’sextraworkandmoneywouldbepayingforsomethingdifferent.Tuesdays,Dr.AshantiwouldvehementlydenyGavyn’spreferenceandGavynwouldprovehimwrong.Learningtovarytheexperience,paceit,plotitlikeathrillingmovie,andfinallybringthingstoaclimaxwithinscantsecondsofthesession’sendtime.
OncemoreGavyngrewtobeanexpertataskillhecouldneversharewithhisparents.
WhenhefirstheardaboutTheList,he’dgoneonlineandpostedthenameDr.AnthonyAshanti.Itseemedlikeasafewaytochannelhishate.Everyoneassumedthelistwasajoke.
Whenwithinafewhoursseventeenhundredpeoplehadpostedtheirvotestothename,Gavyn’seyeswereopened.Hebegantograsptheman’spatientloadandthesecrethistoryofhislongcareer.Thewaitingroomoutsidehisofficefilledwithbroodingteenagerssuddenlytookonanewmeaning.Aharem.TherewasnooverestimatingAshanti’sstamina.
Ashanti,apparently,hadputtherapistintherapist.
GavynhadlongstoppedhiscourseoftreatmentbythetimeAdjustmentDayresolvedthedoctor’slife.
Undercounseling,hewrote,“None.”
ThealleyinbackofFirstMethodistwascrowdedwithtweakers.Everyonewaitingforthedoorstounlockandtheregularmeeting.Peopleampedaboutgettingglassed.NickscopedoutatalkykidandaskedifhehadanyVitaminVtosell.
“Shitwasforreal,”marveledthekid,scratchinganddancing.
Everyoneknewsomeonefromrecoverywho’dbeenagunman.
“Dudetriedtorecruitme,”anothersworemorosely.“WishI’dlistened.I’dberich.”
Nickcountered,“IjustneedsomeVitaminH.”
Thekidcountered,“Yougotthenewmoney?”
Nickknewwhathemeant;but,no,hedidn’thaveany.
Thechurchdoorsdidn’tunlock.
Peoplewerehungry.Drinkingwaterwasgettingscarce.Thesocialorderwasinchaoswithnogasoline,andelectricitybrowningout,peoplerobbingpeopleoftheirfood,andwhispersofpeopleeatingcatsanddogs,andevenpeopleeatingpeople.ButNickknewthemagicbullettomakeallthisape-shitdisastermovieagonyinstantlyA-Okaywasafatbaggieofhydrocodone.Givenayear’ssupplyofVicodinheneedn’tsweatfindingfoodoraplacetoshit.Hecouldrideoutthemisery.
Thetalkykid,himandallthetweakers,weredispersing.Afewobviouslyheadedforthenextmeeting,toseeifthey’dopenthedoorsatEcumenicalMinistries.Walkinghiswaywasaguywithadog,ablackguyholdingadogbyaleashwithonehandandcarryingabigblue-blackbookinhisother.Whitefurcoveredthedogexceptablackspotaroundoneeye,apitmixsortofdog.Fromtalkingdistancetheguysaid,“Nick.”
Nickasked,“Youholding?”
Theguyshookhisheadandsmiled.“Forgetthatshit.”HisnamewasJamal,aregularatthismeetinguntilhe’ddroppedoutacouplemonthsback.Everyonethoughthewasdead,butherehewas.Jamalreachedintoonebackpocketandbroughtoutahandfulofsomething.Likeplayingcards.Likeaweirdlycoloreddeckofcards.Heofferedthestack,saying,“Takethese,Igotplenty.Butyouneedtospendthemwithinacoupleofweeks,okay?”
Thecardswereslippery,thinsheetsofstiffplastic.Eachshowedthefaceofaman,likesomebody’sdadontelevision,ahandsomefacelikeanactorwouldhaveonatelevisioncommercialsellinggoldcoins.Nickacceptedthecardsandfannedthemtocounthowmany.Theywerethenewmoneyhe’dheardabout.Nobodyhadany,notunlesstheyworkedforoneofthevigilantes.Droppingtooneknee,hestashedthecardsinthetopofhissock.Somehestuffedinhispockets.Plentyofhungrypeoplearoundthesedays,itdidn’tpaytotakechances.
Jamalnoddedatthedog.“BouncerandIareboardingaplaneinafewdays,headedforanewlife.”HemeantinBlacktopia,thenationpartitionedexclusivelyforanyonewithapreponderanceofsub-SaharanDNA.Hesaid,“It’sbeenaninterestingexperiment,butit’sover.”
Hewasreferringtoblackpeopleandwhitepeoplelivingtogether,thewholeunitedstatesthing,Nickfigured.
Jamalasked,“Inschool,youeverreadthatGrapesofWrathbook?”Heshookhisheadindisgust.“Thosepeoplerunningallover.Sayingtheyneedtostrikebacktofixthesystem.Buttheyneverdoanything,justdigditchesforanickelandgivebirthtodeadbabies.”Hespatontheground.“Thatbook’sbullshit.”
Nickkeptonehandtuckedinhispocket,touchinghiswindfall.“Yeah,wereadit.”
Jamalasked,“Whatdoyousupposewasthesenseofreadingaboutthoseuselesspeople?”Heturnedtoaddressthedog,asking,“Youeverwonderwhatthatbookwasreallyteachingus?”ToNickheofferedtheblue-blackbookinhishand.“Talbottsaysit’sokaytokillyourselfwithdrugs.Buthesaysthere’snogreaterhightobegottenthankillingyouroppressors.”Abigdiamondglintedinoneofhisearlobes.
Nickasked,“DidyoukillBrolly?”
Jamalasked,“YoueverhearofthePeabodyPlantation?”Heturnedandspoketothedog.“Weownit.Don’twe,Bouncer?Oneentirevalleyofforestsandfarmland,andanimpressiveGreekRevivalmansionsetdowninthecenterofit.”
Nickguessedthiswasinsomeformerstate,whatusedtobeGeorgiaorNorthCarolina.“Youhavepeopleusedtobeslavesthere?”Hedidn’tmeananythingharsh.Suchanowherehousejustseemedlikeanoddchoiceforaone-timedruggie.ItwastoughtoimagineJamalasafarmer.
Jamalduginhispocketandofferedupanotherhandfulofthemoneycards.“Takeit.Ican’tspenditbeforeitallexpires.”Heofferedthebookandthenewmoneyinthesamehandlikeapackagedeal.“It’sthelaw.You’llgetarrestedfornotcarryingthisbook.”
Nicktookthemboth.Herewassomebody,oneamongthemanyhe’dneverseeagain.
“Comeon,dog,”Jamalsaid.Hetuggedtheleashandthepitfollowed.Thetwowalkedaway.
Cashinhand,Nicksprintedinheart-racing,sweatystridesintheoppositedirection.ToscoreamountainofOxyorhydroandgetsofluffedthestateoftheworldwouldn’tmatter.Tocatchthetalkykidbeforehesoldhisstashtosomeoneelse.
ToJamal,AdjustmentDaywasdoingtheoppositeofthatGrapesofWrathbook.Thebookpeoplehadtoreadforseventh-gradeEnglish.Wherewhitepeoplearebulliedofftheirfarm.Atractorrunsovertheirhouse,andtheydonothing.Aloanofficerorsomesuchcomesandtellsthemtomoveon,andthisfamilydoesnothing.Yeah,theytalkaboutgettinggunsandstormingthebanktokillthebankers,buttheyneverdoit.
InsteadthiswhitefamilyhaulsasstoCaliforniawheretheygetdumpedonbythepoliceandworkedtodeathforsmallchange.Buttheystilldonothing.Theykeeptalkingaboutoneday.Talkingabouttakinguparmsinsomerevolutionagainsttherichman,andallalongtheydonothingexceptlettheiroldfolksdieandgetburiedinunmarkedgraves.Theylettheirkidsstarve.ForhundredsofpagesJamalkeptreading,expectingtherevolution,andintheendit’sjustadeadbabydumpedintoacreekandsomeolddyingoldmangettingtosuckonsomeyounggirl’stitty.Theauthor,JohnSteinbeck,hadbeenapussy,tooafraidtomakeanythinghappen.He’dabandonedhischaracterstosuffer.
AshadGod.
Onlyawhitemanhadtheinflatedself-worthtowritethatbook,andonlyawhitemanwouldhavethesecretpridetoreadit.
It’sonlythewhitemanwhoclingstohisguilt.GuiltforAdam’sfall.GuiltforChrist’ssacrificeandforblackAfricanslavery.ItwascleartoJamalthatforwhitestheirguiltconstitutedauniquelywhiteformofboasting.Theirbreastbeatingwasahumblebragalwayssaying:Wedidthis!WethwartedGodintheGarden!Wekilledhisson!Wewhitepeoplewilldowithotherracesandnaturalresourcesasweseefit!
Showingoffdisguisedasameaculpa.
Forthewhiteman,hisguiltwashisbiggestbadgeofaccomplishment.Onlywhiteskilledtheplanetwithglobalwarmingsoonlywhitescouldsaveit.Theirboastingneverletup.
Itwasthewhiteracket:Creatingproblemssotheycouldrescueeverybody.
AndwhileschoolforcedkidstoreadthatpatheticGrapesbook...kidsvolunteeredtoreadTheFountainheadbyAynRand.KidsyearnedtobeHowardRoarkonthewitnessstand.Schoolsdespisedthefactthatgeniusonlytouchesafewmen.Geniusesrecognizetheschoolteachers’mediocrecampaigntoteachmediocritytothemediocre.Andkidsrejecttheideaoflifelongsufferingandfailure.
InTheFountainhead,somebodydoeswhatSteinbeckonlytalksabout.That’swhykidsloveRand’sbook.
HowJamalsawAdjustmentDay,itamountedtothehappyendingthatGrapesbookfailedtodeliver.
Andtoday,Jamalandthreeofhiscohortsreturnedtothestatehouse,victorious.
That’snottosayJamaldidn’tfeelconflicted.
Peopleaskwhatitfeltlike.AdjustmentDay,thatis.Hetoldthemthatwhathe’ddonefeltlike
walkingintotheworld’sskuzziestbusstation.Likewalkingintoastinkingworldofvomit-coatedconcretefloorsandface-downwinos.LikewadingthroughthisstinktofindtheMen’sRoom,ashitholeofdrippingpipesandbacked-updrains.Sidesteppingthepuddlestogettoatoilet,thensittingbare-assedonthestill-warm,gooeytoiletseat,breathingairthat’snothingbutaccumulatedfarts.Andthenlookingdownandspottingsomethingonthefloor.
Likelookingover,andtherenexttothefilth-streakedtoiletbowl,stucktothecrap-dappled,sperm-sprinkledconcretefloor,there’sanalmost-pristine-looking800milligramOxycontin.
Tohelp,youtellyourselfit’smedicine.Andbyitsverynaturemedicinekillsgerms.Somewheresomedoctorhadprescribedit.Ascientistinalaboratoryhadmadeit,evenifit’sspottedwithoversprayfromabunchofdiseasedbusstationperverts.
Allthatneedsdoingistobendoverandprythatpilloffthefloor.Onlythatone,quick,nastyjob.Justpopthatpillinyourmouthandswallowitandeverythingwillbeallright.Betterthanallright,everythingwillbeperfect.Likeaperfectionyoucan’tevenimagine.
That’showAdjustmentDayoccurredforJamalinretrospect.Andherehewasreturningtothesceneofhis...notcrime,buttriumph.Inthestatehouse,thejanitorshadscrubbedawaythebloodbecausetheycouldimaginenootheroption.Somewherethewidowswept,butthedeadwerenotJamal’sdead.Thewidowscountedasnothing,notcomparedtothewidowsandmotherswho’dbewailingifthewarhadbeendeclaredandhisentiregenerationhadbeenshippedtosomebureaucrat-organized,offshoremassexecution.
Amanrepresentinghislineagestoodatthefrontofthegreatroom.Everyonecarriedacopyoftheblue-blackbook,andeveryonesmiled.Itwasn’tthelaw,butholdingacopyofthebook,everywherepublic,allthetime,wasmotivatedbysomethingmorefrighteningthanthelaw.
Thebulletholesinthepaintingscouldn’tbehelped.Norcouldthedivotswherericochetshadbouncedoffthemarblecolumnsandpanels.Detailsthatfuturetouristswouldmarveloverandphotograph.Thefewremainingsenatorsscurriedaroundtheplace,doingeveryone’sbidding.Thoseoldmenlookedgaunt,eatenawayonacellularlevel.Onemanhadascarnotchedatthetopofhisear.Heapproached,bowingandscraping,andplacedadossieronJamal’sdesk,thenbackedaway,stillbowing.
Themanatthelecternleanedintoamicrophoneandannounced,“Ourfirstorderofbusiness...”Thewarmthoftelevisioncamerasbathedthem.
Asdirected,JamalstoodandheldtheTalbottbookopeninbothhandsandbegantoreadaloud,“ActOne,ArticleOneoftheDeclarationofInterdependence...”
Ahushfellovertheroomashecontinued.Jamalriskedaglanceupwardandsearchedamongthefacesinthespectators’balcony.Timestretchedintoforever.Thesilencewaited.Hesearchedamongthefacesforaparticularwoman.Thewaiting,watchingfaces.Andthere,standingwherehe’dstoodonAdjustmentDay,therethewomanstoodsohighabovehim.
OnlythendidJamalreturntothebookandresumereading,“Allpersonscompelledtosurrenderrealpropertyandtorelocatetoanappropriatehomelandmustbecompensatedwithanamountofpropertyequaltoorgreaterthanthatrelinquished...”
Hersmilebeameddownuponhim.Hereyessoproud,therestoodhismother.
Peoplehadseenthenewmoneyontelevision:slightlystiff-feelingslipsofplastic,toorigidtofold.Thecolors:vividcombinationsofred-and-blueoryellow-and-violet.Officially,theordercalledthemTalbotts,buteveryoneknewthemasskins.Rumorwasthefirstbatcheswererefinedfrom,somehowcraftedfromthestretchedandbleachedskintakenfromtargetedpersons.Peopleseemedtotakeahystericaljoyfromtheidea.
Insteadofbeingbackedbygoldorthefullfaithofgovernmentorsomesuch,thismoneywasbackedbydeath.Thesuggestionwasalwaysthatfailuretoacceptthenewcurrencyandhonoritsfacevaluemightresultintherejecterbeingtargeted.Neverwasthisstated,notovertly,butthemessagewasalwaysontelevisionandbillboards:PleaseReportAnyoneFailingtoHonortheTalbott.Thebillsheldtheirfacevalueforaslongasaseason,butfadedfasterinstronglightandfastestinsunlight.Afadedbillheldlessvalueasthemarkersalongtheedgesbecameillegible.Butevenwhentheskinhadfadedtoaslipofwhite-ish,slightlyopaqueplastic,notunlikeableachedanddriedrectangleofparchmentorlambskin,fuelingtherumorseachwasasouvenirscalpedfromatelevisionnewscasterorcollegeprofessor,evenwhentheskinswereanonymouswhite-ishcards,theystillheldaslightvalue.Thesefadedblanks—mostreferredtothemasblanks—couldstillbe
returnedtothegovernmentforasmallrefund.Childrencollectedthemfromtrashbins,orthehomelessgatheredthemfromthegutterlikealuminumcansandglassbottlesforrecycling.Ahundredblankswereworthafive-Talbottnote,thustheyweretheequivalentofanold-ordernickel.Incentivesufficienttokeepchildrenrecoveringthem.
Thelineagesthatforsolonghadsunkthemselves,deeperanddeeper,manbyman,liketaprootsintosociety,they’dcometoformlongchainsthatpermeatedacrossallsocialgroups.Nowthesechannelsofmenwereusedtosuffusethenewsocietywithitscurrency.
Themanabovehim,GarretDawson,gaveCharlieacardboardboxcontainingonehundredthousandTalbottsandtoldhimtospendwhathecouldandpassthebalancetothemanbelowhimalongwiththesameorders.Charlieboughtanecktieandplannedtokeeptherestofthemoney,butthenextdayGarretcametohimwithanotherbox,andathirdonthethirdday.AllalongtheTalbottswerefadinginfinitesimally,andCharliewasforcedbygoodsensetobeginpassingthemalongtothenextmanwhospentwhathecouldandpassedthebalancetothenext.Inthiswaythemoneyfloweddownthelengthofeachlineage,makingthosemenwealthybeyondtheirdreamsandmakingthepeoplewhoknewthemwealthyandthepeoplewhoknewthosepeoplerichandthosewhoknewthoserichpeoplebecamewelloff,andinthiswaytheneweconomybegantofloatandstabilizeitself.
Thenewmoneycascadeddown.Itbucketedfrommantoman.
Becausethemoneycouldnotbehoardedmanytriedtotradeitforgoldanddiamonds,butthosewhoheldthegoldanddiamondsrefusedtosell,andthusgoldanddiamondsfelloutofcirculationandlostallvalue.Theybecamelikemasterpiecepaintings,itemstradedamongtherichassignsofstatus,buttheymeantnothingtothemajorityofpeople.Asthelargestfortunesoftheoldtimeslosttheirwealth,becausetheycouldnotusemoneytomakemoney,andknewnootherwaytosurvive,theirpossessionscametothemarket.
Oh,andthewomen.TheyleftCharliebreathless,thewomenwhomigratedtohimindroves,youngwomen,olderwomenpresentingtheirdaughters,womenwhounderstoodthevalueoftheirbeautyandvitalityinthismarket.TothemCharlie,skinnyCharlie,ridiculousCharliewho’dhardlyfinishedhighschoolandcouldonlyoperateadrillpress,thesewomenwho’donlyeversnubbedhim—thatis,ifthey’devenrealizedhewasalive—thesedaystheyfoughtamongthemselvesmerelytocatchhiseye.
MondaysandTuesdaysCharliesatinachairattheheadofatablelitteredwithphotographs.Thetablehadbelongedtoamedievalking,andthechairtoaRenaissancecountorwhatnot,thenamesofneitherCharliecouldremember.Notthatitmattered.Nowthetableandchairandthesuitsofarmorclutchinglancesthatlinedthehallwaysandtheflagsthatflutteredatoptheturrets,theybelongedtoCharlie.Afireblazed,continuallyreplenishedwithlogscarriedinbymenonCharlie’spayroll.Whileothermenfannedhimwithpeacockfeathers,andotherspresentedbraisedpeacocktonguesandpeeledgrapes,neitherofwhichCharliecouldbringhimselftoeat,andevenwiththeexpensesinvolvedintheupkeepofsuchahouseholdCharliecouldnotspendthenewmoneyasfastasthelineagerequired.Mostofitpassedontothenextmanandthemenbeyondhim.
MondaysandTuesdaysanagentinhisemploybroughtaselectionofwomenwho’dbeenchosen,handpickedfromthethrongswho’dsubmitteddetailedapplications.Womenwithmovie-starfacesandporn-moviebodies,theysatintheouterroomsandassessedoneanother,andtheagentescortedeach,womanbywoman,tothereceivinghallwhereCharliemoreorlessheldcourt.
MostCharliedismissedwithaglanceandapolite“Thankyou.”Somehe’dinvitetocomecloser.Ofthewomensomebroughtbusinesspropositions.Somewantedtobeappointedtoapositioninthenewgovernment.Whateverthecase,Charlieconsideredthemallwiththesameintent.
Withinaseasontheoldordersubsided.Thenewlineagesbecametheknightscrowned,dukesandlordswhoheldtheirrewardsbyasinglesuccessfulbattle,andthosewhowerefamilytothembenefited,andthosewholearnedtobeofservicetothosefreshnoblefamilies,housedinancientestatesrecentlyacquired,thosewhoservedthembest,withlabor,withfood,withentertainment,theywerethenextmostprosperous.Andlastly,thepersonswhocouldoffernoskillexcepttheirprowessatmanipulatingtheoldcurrency,restrictingitsflowanddollingitoutforfees,thatclassofpersonswiththeiroutdatedfieldofexpertise,theywerelefttowanderinthestreetseekingouttheblanksthattheycarriedbythedirtypapersack-load,likeonceearshadbeencarried,tothecountingstations.
Regardlessofhowtheskinsarriveatthecountinghouses,theretheyarecleaned,fittedunderastencil,andre-exposedtotheultravioletlight.Revitalizedforanotherthreemonths,theseTalbottsreentercirculationatthetopofthelineagechains.
Peopleacceptedthenewcurrencywithallitsflawsbecausetherewasnootheroption.Asstatedintheblue-blackbook:
Firstmakeyourselfdespicable,thenindispensable.
Thereplacementeconomywaslikeaballoonbeingfilledwithwaterfromaspigot.Asmoremoneypouredintoit,theballoonswelledandhungheavier,butuntilitwasfillednoonecouldsayhowlargeitwouldgroworwhatshapeitwouldultimatelyassume.
IfanyoneaskedMissJosephinePeabody,thelostpoliticianswereshow-offs,showboatingsnake-oilfakirswhosesummaryexecutionstheyhadcoming.GoodriddanceandGodbless.Restinpeace.No,thenaturalorder,ifonefollowedtheclassicmodelsofbeautyandgovernance,heldthatpropertyownersaloneshoulddeterminewhatwasbestforpeople,foronlytheownershadthepropervestedinterest.PlantersinparticularintheagrariantraditionofJefferson,withoutthecorruptinginfluenceoftheJewandtoalesserextenttheCatholicinterests.
Ifanyoneasked,thatis,butnoonehad.No,ittookArabellacomingupfromthekitchenonemorningtosuggestMissJosephineturnontheidiotboxonaccountofthesamemanappearingoneverychannel.Aloathsomehabit,watchingtelevisionbeforesupper,butArabellainsisted,standingbyMissJosephine’schairwhilethismanannounced:
Ahouseisnotahomeland.Thiscallsforthepartitioningoftheformerlyunitedstatesinordertoprovideseparate,distinctautonomousnationswhereineachpeoplecanconducttheirlives.Itiswrongforoneculturetoimposeitselfuponanothereitherbyactionsorexpectations.Therefore
eachmustexistfreeofthedemandsplacedonitbytheother.
MissJosephinepointedtheremotecontrollikeascepter,tobanishtheman,buthisimageandpontificatingpersisted:
Eachgroupmustinhabitahomelandwherethatgroupconstitutesthenorm.Otherwiseeitherself-destroying,self-hatred,orother-attackingself-aggrandizingoccurs.Drinking,drugs,andtoxicsexualbehaviorsarisewhenculturesarecompelledtosharepublicspace.Nocultureshouldbe
heldtotheexpectationsandsubjectedtothewitheringgazeofanother.
Arabellaworeherapronandtwistedadishtowelbetweenherhands.Sheasked,“What’sitmean?”Itdidn’tsignify,MissJosephineassuredherandsentherbacktoshellingpeas.Arabelladidn’tappearconvinced,andlefttheroomslowasmolasses,walkingbackwardsoshecouldkeephereyesonthescreen.Therethemanwasspeechifying:
Justasthegendersareseparatedinmostathleticcompetitionssoshouldtheculturesberemovedeachfromtheotherssothatoneculturemightnotalwaysdominate.
TheunhappyresultofwhichbeingthatArabella’sman,Lewis,feltithisdutytoshowhimselfintohersittingroomdoorwaywhereheapproachednocloserthanthethresholdandtriedtoclaimthatGeorgiawasnolongerastateoftheseUnitedStates,buthadbeengivenoveralongwithFlorida,Louisiana,Mississippi,andAlabamatocreatesomesortofMartinLutherKingdomdesignatedtobeinhabitedbyonlyblacks,andatthisMissJosephinewheeledherselftothedoorandshutitinhisface.
Despitetheevidenceofhereyesandears,thePeabodyPlantationremainedherpropertyandherhome.Andbeforeherclanownedit,thelandhadbelongedtotheMuscogeeCreekandYamacrawtribes.Nogerrymanderingtomfoolerywouldchangematters.
Hereshehadstature.Ifsheallowedherselftobeuprootedandcartednorthwardoroutwest,why,she’dbereducedtonothingmorethanagardenvarietyoldlady,aspinsterinpossessionofthirty-sixfullplacesettingsofCrownDarby.
Sometreesweretoooldandparticulartotoleratetransplanting.LestArabellaandtheothersforget,MissJosephinewasthesouloftheplantation.Noonebutherknewtheidiosyncrasiesofthewellpumporhowtodrainthecistern.Onlysheknewtherotationofsorghumversustobacco.Why,withoutherexpertisetheoilburnerandthefurnacefanwouldburndownthehousewithinayear’stime.Justletthem,Arabellaandherman,Lewis,andtheirboys,ChesterandLewisJr.,andtheirgirl,littleLuray,letthemsee.Letthemtryandruntheplacewithouthersay-so.
Suchknowledgewaspartandparcelherprovinceandhersalone.Tothateffecttheyagreeditonlyfittingshetakeupresidenceintheatticofthemainhouse,anarrowsuiteofdustyrooms,hardlyspacesufficienttocontainthefamilytreasuressheinsistedfollowherintohiding.Thetureensandswords,theoilpaintingsofDaddyandhispeople.Buttheatticwouldsufficeonlyuntilsuchtime
thatthismoment’spoliticalmadnessshouldcometoacessation.Atthatpointshewouldbereinstatedasmistresswithfullreign.
Mornings,whenArabellabroughtuphertray,MissJosephineasked,“DidyoucallaroundtotheIvesandtheCaldwellslikeIasked?”
Arabellaleftthetrayandwenttomakingthebed.“Icalled,”shesaid,“butwasn’tnobodyleft.Theyrelocated.”
IfArabellawastobebelievedanymore,everyfamilyofEuropeandescenthaddecampedGeorgia.
Whenitcametostubborn,MissJosephinecouldteachamuleathingortwo.She,herself,wouldnotbesoeasilydislodged.
Lestanyonegetotherideas,shecreptoutnights.Oncethehouseholdwasabed,shetiptoedherwaydowntheatticstairs,tracingthebackstairstothekitchen.Nightsshemightmakeitherforaytoloosenthepressurescrewonthepropaneline,adefectonlysheknewhowtorepair.Othernightsshe’dbleedairintothewatermainuntilthepumplostitsprime.Thismischiefamountedtonotsomuchsabotageasmerelygentleremindersthathermindwasthemindofthehomeplace.Theanchoriteandsoulofthehouse.Shealonecouldperformthesecretritualstorestartthereverseosmosisfilters;otherwisethehousewaterwasundrinkable.
RegardlessoftheMartinLutherKingdomthesepeoplewantedtoimposeonGeorgia,theplantationremainedamoney-makingconcern,andshewaskeytokeepingitprofitable.
Alwaysontelevisionandtheradiowasthatman.Talbottwhoever,preaching:
Alloweachcultureitsowncourtsoflaw.Alloweachtoevolveinisolation.Fortoolongthedifferingstrainsofmankindhavebeenblendedintoanincreasinglyblanderpool.Acultureofsharedmediocritythatonlyservesasabroaderfieldofconsumersreceptivetothesamegeneric
advertisingandthussteeredtodesiringlargeamountsofanarrowspectrumofproducts.Culturesdevelopedovermillenniainrelativeisolation,inclimatesandconditionsthatpromptedeachtocreateitsownimageryandrituals,allofthesearebeingdisplacedbytheglobalstandard.To
preservetheintegrityofeach,theculturesmustbeallottedlivingspaceawayfromtheinfluenceofothercultures.
Eggedonbysomemisguidedefforttobehelpful,Arabella’smantrompeduptheatticstairsoneafternoontofetchherabook.Lewisoffereditinbothhands,saying,“Here’sthewaythingsare.”Whenshewouldn’tacceptthegift,heplaceditonthetablebesideherchair,andhetookhisleave.
Itamountedtoalargeblue-blackvolumesupposedlypennedbythatmanTalbott.Thetelevisionman.Ahodgepodgeofhalf-bakedobservationsconcerningtheobvious,itwas.Pageafterpageof,forexample:
In-groupcrimesmayonlybedealtwithwithinthesamegroup.Gaysdecimatetheirownkindinhugenumberswithdisease.Blacksannihilateblacksinviolentcrimes.WhiteswouldappeartobelessadangertofellowwhitesuntilweconsiderWorldWarII,WorldWarI,theAmericanCivilWar,theOneHundredYearsWar,etc.Therefore,thecrimesofeachgroupmustbejudgedonlyby
memberswithinthatgroup.
Toalearnedpersonagesuchasherself,thiswasclearlytheworkoftheJew,theJewinleaguewiththePapist,bothpartiesattemptingtoagitatethepreexistingnegrosituationanddispossesstheregion’sScots-Irishoftheirancientbirthright.Thelandhadbeenawildernessuntilthearrivalofherancestors,anditwouldreverttothesamewithoutthem.LetArabellaandherpeopletryandruntheplacewithouther.Nonebutshecouldcomprehendwhycertainsumpsandhollowsheldwaterwholesummerswhileotherswentdry.
Thatnight,shetiptoeddowntothecellarandloosenedthelidoneveryotherjarofpreservessothecontentswouldspoil.
Themorningthatfollowed,Arabellabroughtupthebreakfasttrayandsetitonthedrinkstableinfrontofthesettee.SheshookoutthefoldednapkinandspreaditoverMissJosephine’slap,saying,“Thenewlawsaysyou’llberightlycompensated...”Arabellapouredthecoffeeandmoveditwithinreach.Sheadded,“It’snothealthy,youaloneinthisatticdayandnight.”
MissJosephinewouldnotbudge.Itwentwithoutsayingthatshouldshedepartonfootorinabox,thelandwouldwither,thankyouverymuch.
Arabellasurveyedherwithsoulfuleyes.She’dbeenbornandbredontheplace.Nodoubtshe
lookedtotakeoverasthenewmistress.MissJosephinedismissedherwithacurt,“Thankyou,thatwillbeall.”Alone,shecouldn’tbringherselftoeat.Athoughthauntedher:WhatifArabellaandherpeoplesoughttopoisonher?Whowouldknow?Nottheneighbors.Theoldfamilieshadrelocated.Topoisonherandburyher...worse,feedherbodytothehogs.Thatwouldbetheperfectdemise.
Buthowtodefendherself?Howcouldsheproveherselfsonecessarythatfolkswouldcontinuetofeedandlookafterher?
Thenextday,Arabellabroughtherbreakfasttrayandtookthewarmingcoverofftheeggs.Pouringthecoffeeshesaid,“Youshouldbegladit’snotthehomosexualsgettingthisplace.”AsArabellaexplainedit,thestateofCaliforniahadbeensetasidetocreateahomelandformaleandfemalesodomites.Arabellasighedandwincedattheveryidea.
Thesordiddetailsofthis,MissJosephinehadnodesiretoknow.ButArabellapersisted,saying,“Folksshouldresideamongtheirownkind...that’stheidea.”Shewatchedasifwaitingforareaction.Acornerofhermouthtwitched.“MissJosephine,you’vegottoappreciatethatandmoveforwardwithyourlife.”
Hidinghermalice,MissJosephinegavethewomanabrightsmile.“Thatwillbeall,Arabella.”
Soonasshewasalone,justasshehadthedayprior,shecuttheeggs,friedhamsteak,andtoastintobite-sizedpieces.Followingthatshecarriedtheplateintothetinyatticbathroomandflushedthemealdownthecommode.
Bynightfallshewasravenous.Herwheelchairhadalwaysbeenmoreofaconveniencethananecessity,andaftermidnightshecreptdowntothekitchenandfilledashoppingbagwithasmuchcannedtunafish—awfulstuff—cannedmilk,andSaltinesasshecouldcarrybackupstairs.
IfArabellaevertooknoteofthemissingitemsshenevermentionedit.Everymorningshebroughtupthetray,andeveryafternoonshebroughtupsupper.EverybiteofwhichMissJosephineputdownthecommode.
Historybookswerefilledwithsimilarstoriesoftheright-mindedwhowentintohidinguntilthestormoftyrannyhadpassed.Thoseindividualstrappedbyevilideologies.Why,thenationofIsraelhadpracticallybeenfoundedonthediaryofone,asweetpersecutedgirlwho’dsoughtrefugeinjustsuchanatticapartment!
Lord,no,MissJosephinewouldnotberunoff.HerswasstillthenationofThomasJeffersonandherdaddy,Godresthissoul,andtheirsweretheChristianidealsforhertouphold.Why,ifyouaskedherdaddyithadn’tbeenuntilthe1890sandthefloodofimmigrantsfromtheBalticregionthatconditionshaddestabilized.In1890thenationhadfewerthanahalfmillionJews.By1920ithadmillions.
Nights,ifitwasraining,she’dventureouttospreadrocksaltinthegarden.Orshe’dsitinthedarkandeatherpurloinedtunafish.Readingtheblue-blackbook.Thelastbookshe’dreadinitsentiretyhadbeenToKillaMockingbird,andthathadbeenmistakeenoughforher,thankyou.WhowasthisMr.Talbotttogoagainsther?Noamountofpoliticalvoodooorcivil-rightsmumbojumbowouldpersuadeher.
Days,Lewiswouldtrompupthestairstocomplain.He’dfrethowthecellarstunkandwasfulloffliesandthesepticpumphadquitonhim.ThegardenhadwiltedanddiedalmostovernightsonoweverythingneededtobeboughtatthePigglyWiggly.Heshowedhersomethinglikeplayingcards.Plasticcardscoloredredandyellow.
“It’sthenewmoney,”hetoldher,“butitdon’tlast.”Hedescribedhowfolkshadtoworkallthetimebecausethemoneycouldn’tbesaved.“Anymoneyweearnweneedtospendbeforeitdisappears.”
Ifthecoastwasclear,MissJosephinewouldaccompanyhimdownstairsandoutbacktothebarn.There,she’daskhimtofetchthisorthattooltoberidofhimwhileshereplacedawidgetshe’dstolenfromthethresherorthetractorsomenightsbefore.He’dmarvelasshebroughteachpieceofmachinerybacktolife.
OnenightshesatreadingtheTalbottbook.Havingflushedherdinnerofporksidemeatandwildrice.EatingSaltinesanddrinkingtapwater,shecameacrosstheline:
Abountyshouldbepaidforinformationregardinganypersonlivingoutsidehisappropriatehomeland.
Notwaitingtoreadanotherword,shesnuckdownanddisabledthekitchenstove.Shejimmiedthe
gateonthehenhouse.
MorningbroughtArabellawiththebreakfasttrayandthenewsthattheyhadnoeggsonaccountofraccoonshavingkilledeverylasthen.Therewasnobaconoroatmealbecausethestovehadquitonthem.Whatshebroughtinsteadwastoastwithpeanutbutter.MissJosephineputthis,too,downthecommode.
Thenextnightshedecommissionedthetoaster.
Shetookthesheet-metalbackofftheclotheswasherandstoleoutagadget.
Shedisabledthetelevisionandthekitchenradio,hobbledthedishwasher.
Alwayspreyinguponher,eatingatherwasthefearthatArabellaandLewismightbetrayherforrewardmoney.Sheneededtobemorevaluabletothemthananybounty,morevaluablealivethanpoisoned.
AtArabella’srequestsheventuredforththenextdaytotinkerwiththestove.Shesentthewomantosearchforascrewdriverwhileshereattachedthewireshe’dloosenedinthetoaster.
“Iseeyoufixedit,”Arabellasaid,notsmilingwiththeusualrelief,herarmsfoldedacrossherchest.Withtheday’splagueoftroublesbanished,thewomangaveMissJosephinealengthyhalf-eyedstare.Shesetthescrewdriveronthekitchentableandsaid,“Funnyain’tit,howthingsjustbust.”Herstarenotlettingup,shesaid,“IfIdidn’tknowbetter,I’dthinkwehadagremlin.”
MissJosephinepooh-poohedtheidea.ShelaughedthatArabellaandherpeopleblamedeverythingonhaunts.
Arabelladidn’tsharethelaugh.“Youailing?”sheasked,somethinginhervoice,notahelpfulconcernbutaprying.
MissJosephinemadeasifshehadn’theard.
“Ionlyask,”thehouseservantsaid,“becausetheotherdayIheardyourtoilet,must’veflushedfifteen,twentytimesinarow.”
Hearingthat,Josephineresolvednottoflushinthedaytime.Shecouldholdtheday’sfood,setitasideinhersewingbasket,andflushitlateatnightafterArabellaandhermanLewishadretiredtotheirownlittlehouse.Shelaughedandpickedupthescrewdriveroffthetableandbegantototteroff.
BehindherArabellaasked,“Whereyouheaded?”
Notbotheringtohideherannoyance,MissJosephineanswered,“Tofixthewasher.”Shegaspedasiftosuckthewordsback.Hermouthfrozeopen.
Atfirst,Arabellasaidnothing.Hernot-talkingfilledupthekitchen.Withelaborateslowness,inlow-slungtonessheasked,“Thewasher’sbroke?”Abig,broadvictoryhunginhervoice.
MissJosephineturnedtofaceher.Shelaughedtoshakeoffthemood,saying,“Isn’tit?”
Arabellasaid,“Searchme.”Shesuckedherteethandcockedherheadasiftostudytheoldwomanfromafreshangle.
MissJosephinefelthercheeksburn.Shelethereyesdriftandshookherheadasifstymiedbytheyoungerwoman’sforgetfulness.Thestolengadgethungheavyinthepocketofherhousecoat.Thescrewdriverdroppedfromherhandandclatteredonthelinoleumfloor.
Nick,Nickwassmart,notbooksmartperse,buthisparents’houseusedtogettaggedbygraffitipunks.NosoonerthanNick’sdadhadthelatesttagpaintedoverorscrubbedaway,butanotherlate-nightvandalwouldthrowupsomenewmasterpiece.Insteadofinstallingacameraandtryingtogetthecitytopayattentiontotheproblem,Nickactuallysolvedit.
Onenight,betweentaggers,hewentoutwithhisowncanofspraypaint.Alldowntwosidesofthehousehewroteswastikasastallashecouldreach.Hesprayedthewords“KillQueers”and“NiggersSuck.”Thewholejobtooklessthanacanofpaint.NotthatNickwasaNazi,hejusthadaplan.
Hewenttobed.Hedidn’ttellhisfatherormother.
Thenextmorningtheirdoorbellrang.Atelevisioncrewwasoutside.Thestreetwascrowdedwithpeopletakingpictures.Hisparentswereconfusedandangry,buthecouldtelltheydidn’tmindthesympathy.Afterbeingignoredforsolong,dealingwiththegraffitialone,theyweregladthattheproblemnowbelongedtotheentirecity.ThemayorofPortlandcalledapressconferencetocondemnhatespeech,andextrapolicepatrolswereadded.Notaggerpunkswoulddaretouchtheirhouseinthefutureandriskbeingaccusedofthishatemess.Themedialaudedhisparentsasbrave,long-sufferingheroes.AndNicknevertoldthem.
That’sthekindofsmartNickwas.
Afterthehouseholdwasabed,MissJosephinesoundlesslydescendedtheatticstairs.Sheneedednolight.Everysqueakyfloorboardwasanoldfriend.Noshadowheldanysurpriseforhertostumbleover.Fifty-sevenstepsleddowntothenarrowkitchendoor.Sheheldonepalmflatagainstit,pushingsoftlysothelatchwouldnotclackasherotherhandturnedtheknob.
Thedoorwouldn’tbudge.Theknobturned,butsomethingkeptherfrompushingitopen.Shebracedthesatinshoulderofherdressinggownagainstthewoodandplantedherbarefeetamitewider.MissJosephineboreintothedoorwithallofherweightuntiltheoldwoodbarkedoutacrackingsound.Itwaslocked.Thehingepins,locatedontheoutside.
Voiceswhisperedinthebreathingofthekitchenairconditioner.Shefanciedshecouldhearthemeasuredheartbeatoftheclockinthefronthallway,butshewouldn’tswearthatwhatsheactuallyheardwasn’therlifelongmemoryofhearingthatclock.Inthedarksheheardpeopletalkingwho’dbeendeadsinceshewasagirl.
Sheloweredherselfcarefullyuntilshesatontheloweststep,huggedherkneestoherchest,andlistenedforanything,andwhenthefirstbirdssignaledthesunrisesheretracedherfootstepsbacktobed.
BackinBeforeTimes,Walterhadclosedhiseyestoseebetterwithhisfingertips.Hisfingershadtappedandstabbedatthekeysofhislaptop.HisfingershaddancedoutthewordsasTalbottspokethem.
AbountywouldbepaidforphotographicevidenceofanyoneinpublicnotcarryingacopyoftheTalbottbook.
TalbotthaddictatedandWalterhadwritten:
Abountywouldbepaidforproofofanyindividualfakingadisability.
Theoldmanhaddecreed:
Abountywouldbepaidforinformationregardinganypersonlivingoutsidehisappropriatehomeland.
ThewebsiteWalterhadlaunchedatTalbott’sinstructionwasalreadyprovingtobeasuccess.America’sLeastWanted.Peoplewereloggingonandregisteringthenamesofpoliticians,academics,andjournalists.Hundredsofnames.Theregisterednameswererackingupvotes.Millionsofvotes.Howthiswouldmakehimrich,Waltercouldn’tbegintoguess.Hewasanapprenticewhocouldn’tyetseethebigpicture.Hesimplytooknotesashisnewoldmanrambledon.
AccordingtoTalbottReynoldsthenationneededanaristocracy.ThekingsofEuropeandAsiahadn’tbeenvotedintopower.They’dspilledblood,andwhoeverspilledthemostbloodgainedthemostpower.TheQueenofEnglandandthekingsofSwedenandSpainstoodatopamountainofbutcheredmen.Strappedtohischair,shellackedinafewdropsofbloodleakedfromeachofadoublehundredsmallincisions,heranted,“Whywaittableswhenahailofbulletswillbeyourcoronation?”
Democracywasashort-livedaberration.He’dinsistedthatAmericaneededarulingclassofmenwho’dseizepowerthewaymenhadalwaysseizedpower.Menwhotakeactionwillbecomethisnewroyalty.Learningatradewasfine.Collegewasn’tforeveryman.Butthirtyyearsintoframinghousesorwiringbuildingsandwhatwillbecomeofyourbody?Onceaman’skneesorhisbackage,howwillheearnhislivelihood?AdjustmentDaywasaboutmenjoiningforces.
Walterhadlookedupfromhistyping.“SothisislikeFightClub?”
Hisnewoldmanhadshakenhishead.He’dasked,“Areyoureferringtothenovel?”
“Whatnovel?”hadaskedWalter.Hisfingerspoisedabovethekeyboard.
Talbotthadsmirked.“Hardly.”He’dsaid,“FightClubwasaboutempoweringeachmanthroughaseriesofexercises.”Hisghastlyfaceshinedwithitscoatingofblood.“FightClubtaughteachmanthathehadcapacitybeyondhisgreatestconceptofhimself.Then,itseteachmanfreetofulfillhisdestiny:tobuildahouse,towriteabook,topaintaself-portrait.”
Waltercouldrecallthatmuchfromthefilm.
Shakinghisheaddismissively,Talbottmuttered,“Palahniuk.Allofhisworkisaboutcastration.Castrationorabortion.”
AdjustmentDay,Talbotthadexplained,wastobeamodelforhowmencouldformanarmyinordertoattainpermanenthighstatus.Itwoulddraftthemtotakeactionbeforesocietydraftedthem.Thesemenwouldkillontheirownbehalf,fortheirownbenefit,ratherthanforthebenefitofthosewhoalreadyheldpowerandassets.
“Whatmenwant,”he’dsaid,“isastructureforcommunion.”
AsTalbotthadseenit,ademographicexplosionofyoungmenwerebecomingmen,menwithgoodeducations,healthyandwellfed,who’dbeenraisedtoexpectagloriousfutureforthemselves.Nosuchfutureawaitedthem.Thedemocracyofcapitalismguaranteedthatonlythemostbanalmen,themenwiththemostmoderateintellectandmostreadilyappealinglooksandtalents,wouldrisetonotoriety.Andthesewouldonlybeahandfulfromamongthemillions.
Walterhadwaited,uncertainifthismeritedwritingdown.“Whathappenstotherestofus?”
Talbotthadsmiledandsighed.Hiseyesblink-blinkedanddriftedtoconsidertheblood-fleckedcementfloor.“Whathappensiswhatalwayshappens.”
Goingon,he’dclaimedthatthegovernmenthadalwaysknownPearlHarborwouldbeattackedbytheJapanese.He’dinsistedthegovernmenthadknownallalongabouttheimpendingdestructionoftheWorldTradeCenter.Thebattleshipssunkhadbeenpracticallyobsolete.TheTwinTowerswereanecessaryexpenditure.Inbothcases,whatthenationhadreallyneededwasawartoculltheimpendinggenerationofyoungmenreachingadulthood.Suchawarwouldcutdownthelaborpoolandensureasizablewagetothesurvivors.Itwouldthrowthesurplusmenofmanycountriesintocombatandstimulateeconomiestheworldover.
“Mostimportantly,”Talbotthadsaid,“theconflictwouldcreateashortageofmenandpreservethepatriarchy.”
Walterhadn’twantedtobuythattheory.He’dhesitatedtocontradicthismentor,butthepoliceandthemilitarywouldstompoutthesortofgrassrootsinsurrectionTalbotthaddescribed.
“Oncethepolicehadbeensufficientlyhumiliatedandblamedforcrime...,”Talbotthadreplied.“Oncethemilitaryrealizesit’sbeingledtoslaughter...”BothwouldlooktheotherwaywhenAdjustmentDaycametopass.Membersofbothmightevenjointheattack,especiallyifitguaranteedthattheirdescendantswouldholdpowerforgenerationstocome.
Amanmighthesitatetokillifitmeantonlyhisownbenefit,butifhisactionwouldcrownhissonsand,inturn,theirsonsandtheirsonsasroyaltyinanewsociety,thatmanwhohadnooptionbuttocommitmurderinsomeoneelse’swar,thatmanwouldgladlycreateameritocracybasedonmurder.
AtthisTalbotthadfallensilent.HisgazehadcometorestonthecomputerinWalter’slap.Itwasclearthediscussionhadbeenoverforthetimebeingwhenhe’dpronounced:
Withtheexceptionofmembersofthepoliceandmilitary,allretirementfrompublicserviceissuspendeduntilfurthernotice.
Andinfullfaith,stillnotcomprehendingwhereanyofthiswasheaded,Walterhaddutifullytypedoutthewords.AsTalbottsawthesituationtheclerksandbureaucratsoftheworldhadtradedtheirunstableyouthforsecurityandroutine,andnowthatwouldbeallthey’deverhave.ItwastoolateforthemtokiteofftoTuscanyanddabbleatbeingspainters.Itwastoolateforthemtobeanyonebutthemselves.
Mid-lecture,Talbottasked,“HaveyoureadFlaubert’sBouvardandPécuchet?”Inthenoveltwoclerksinheritafortuneandleavetheirjobstodabbleinartandliterature,eventuallyrealizingthattheyhavenotalentforleisure.Intheendtheyreturntotheirboring,steady,structuredlivesas
clerks.TheBabyBoomerswouldhavetoacceptasimilarfate.Underanewregimethey’dberequiredtoworkandsupporttheMillennialgenerationuntilawhollynewsystemwasputinplace.
Jamalwandered,awestruck,throughtheroomsofhisnewhome.Hispitbull,Bouncer,lopedafewstepsahead,sniffingbehindachair,pawingatacabinetdoor,asiftoflushoutwhateveranimalsmightbehidingthere.Eachroomopenedintoalargerroom,thewallslinedwithpicturesofwhitepeople,linedwithfireplacesandshelvespackedtightwithbooks.Brightsunlightlitupbig,cleanwindowsandwhitepaint.He’drequisitionedthehousefromalonglistofsurrenderedproperties.PhotographspostedontheInternet.Todaymarkedthefirsttimeinhislifehewasn’tlivingunderhismama’sroof.
Thepaintingslookingdown,they’dbeenalineageoftheoldworld.Thestuck-upfacesofhighandmightydeadfolks.Thepaintingscouldgo.Thebookshe’dkeep.WithAdjustmentDaypast,whatJamaltrulywantedtodowaswrite,tobeanauthorwhoputaworldofsymbolsandimagesintopeople’smindswithhiscareful,steadystreamofwords.ThewayTalbotthaddone.AsTalbotthadphrasedit:
Nomanisanadultwhilehisparentsarealive.Untiltheydieheismerelyaperformancetoeitherpleaseorpunishthem.
Fortoolongthewhiteshaveactedasthefinger-waggingparentsofblacks.
Forevenlongerheterosexualshaveactedastheshamingparentsofhomosexuals.
ToJamalitseemedhe’dalwaysbeenexpectedtobackdown,toforeverdefer,stepaside.He’dalwaysplayedthesubmissivegoodguybecausetheonlyotherrolewastobeathug.Everythinghe’ddonewasmeanttokeeppeoplehappy.Killingpeoplewasn’tidealbutitwasthefirsttimehewasn’ttryingtomakethemalllovehim.Itmostlyfeltstrange—strangenotbad—becausehewasn’ttryingtopleasethesepeople.Itfeltnicetojustshootthemandnotworryaboutwhetherornotitmadethemhappy.ThatreliefmadeJamalhappy.
Oppositionseemedunlikely.Thedowntroddenhadalwaysturnedtochurch,andtheirnumbershadswelleduntilaleaderappearedtoorganizetheirpower.Thistime,history’sdisplaced,thedisenfranchisedhadlongagolaughedofftheideaofGod.Theirchurcheshadbeencollegesandgovernmentoffices,andthesedaystheirpreacherswereburiedinmassgraves.Thenewpeasantrymighthaveadvanceddegreesandawardsgalore,buttheyhadnochurchestoharborandcomfortthem.
Smartermenmightexist.Strongermen.ButJamalwastheonewhopulledthetriggersotheywouldworkforhim.
Whoevertheownersofthishousehadbeen,they’dlongsincerelocatedtotheappropriatehomeland.Traveledlight,fromthelookofit.They’dleftbehindtheirfurniture,eventheclothesandshoesintheclosets.Notthatitmattered.Fromtodayonthiswouldbehishouse,hisland,hisfarm.Jamal’smotherwasinstalledinahouseintown,nicerthananywhereshe’deverlivedbutnotnearasniceashisplace.Threefloors,fromthelookofit,withGreektemplecolumnsoutfront,theonlywordthatseemedfittingwasgrand.Justashe’dalwaysimagineditwouldbe.Heopeneddoorstofindonlymorerooms,moredoorsandstaircases.Behindonedoorhefoundthekitchen.Awomanhismama’sagestoodatthestove.Sheworeanold-timeuniform,justagraydresswithawhiteaprontiedoverit.Herhairwasnettedtighttoherhead.
“Pardonme,”hesaid.Thiscouldbeamix-up.Shewasblack,too.Couldbethewebsitehadallocatedthepropertytotwopartiesbymistake.Hisstatusinalineagegavehimhigherrank,ofcourse,buthedidn’trelishtheideaofputtingsomebodyoutofahouseshe’dcometothinkofashome.
“Iliveontheplace,”sheoffered.Thesoundofboiling.“Meandmyfamilylookafterthings.”
BouncernosedhiswaypastJamalandmoseyedovertopresshismuzzlealongsidethewoman’sthicklegs.
Whenhedidn’tspeak,sheasked,“Youthenewowner?”Shelookedintothepanasshespoke,likewhatevershewascooking,shehatedittothepointofsadness.
Heletoutthebreathhewasn’tawarehe’dbeenholding.Eventhekitchenaroundherwasamarvel,allknobsanddrawers,hangingpotsandcoppersinksandmachinesandallofithis.Itwouldtakehimmonths,mightbeyears,togrowintosuchaplace.Itrelievedhim,thethoughthewouldn’tbelivingherealone.Bouncerleftthewomanandwenttosniffandpawatadoor,anarrow
doorwithabrassknob.Thedogwhined.Hesniffedatthekeyhole.
ThewomanfollowedJamal’seyestothedoor.“It’slocked,”shesaid.“Beenlockedsincewemisplacedthekey.”
Thedogcontinuedtosniffalongthecrackrunningbeneathit.Onepawscratchedatthewoodenfloor.
“Mustbehesmellsmice,”thewomansaid.Sheturnedbacktothepanshewasmindingonthestovetop.“Nothingupthosestairsbuttheattic.”Hervoicewassing-song,featherweight,saying,“Nope,justoneemptyoldattic.”
Jamalwentandcollaredthedog,draggingBouncerawayfromthelockeddoor.“Wherearemymanners,”hesaid,andheofferedherhisfreehand.“MynameisJamalSpicer.”
Shedidadouble-take,oneeyebrowarched,lookinghimupanddown,slow,asifforthefirsttime.Hershoulderssaggedandsheshookherheadasiftoclearhervision.“YoutheonefromtheTV?”
Fromthefirstlineageiswhatshemeant.Thestatemediahadbeenrunninglittlebiographiestointroducepeopletothesystemofmenwho’dberunningthenewnationofBlacktopia.EachmaninhistribehadreadaloudfromtheTalbottbook,andthesereadingsrotatednightandday.SeeinghimselfontelevisionhadmadeJamalfeelsickwiththelimitedrealityofhimself,hiscrookedteethandbigears,butgettingrecognizedhadbeguntomakehimproudtobethemanheturnedout.
Thewomanwipedherhandsinherapronandacceptedhishandshake.“Pleasedtomakeyouracquaintance,”shesaid,hervoicebreathlesswithamazement.Asmilerelaxedherface.Agladsmile,notlikepartoftheuniformshewasforcedtowear.“Myname’sArabella.”
Folksheretocookandcleanforhim,itwouldseemhe’dwalkedintoaready-madefamily.“Here’sBouncer,”hesaid,shakingthedogbyitscollar.AndJamalreturnedhersmile.
Thewaitstoodashisonlyoption.Gavynhadregisteredasaresidentalien,gonetothepostofficeandfilledouttheforms,declaredhishomosexualityandtakenanoathtothesame.Theclerkwho’dadministeredtheoathfixedhimwithasternlook.
“Youknowyoucan’twork,”she’dwarned,“notlegally.”
GavynhadreadasmuchintheTalbottbook.
“Youcan’tvoteoroperateamotorvehicle,either,”theclerkhadsaid.
Gavynsaid,“Iunderstand.”
Theclerkslippedapamphletfromapacketofpapers.Sheread,“Untilrelocationcanbeapproved,residentaliensmustreporttheircurrentplaceofresidenceandanychangesinsaidplacetotheappropriateauthorities.”
Thatmeanthisparents’house.Fatchancehecouldmoveout,notwithoutajoboradriver’slicense.TheDeclarationofInterdependenceguaranteedmutualrespectbetweenallracesandsexualities,butrespectwaseasierwheneachwasisolated,snuginhisownhomeland.Gavynwasanoutsider,stuckamongheterosexuals.Forhowlong,nobodycouldsay.
Tomakemattersworse,theclockwasticking.Tobequeer,atleastuntilAdjustmentDay,meantalmosttwodecadesoftorture.Beingcalled“Gay-vin”andgettingpoundedintolockersonaweeklybasis,withparentswhohadn’taclueaboutwhataqueerkidneededtoknow.Butthepayoffwasturningeighteen.Thatbirthdayvaultedapersonfrombeingtheweakest,mostvictimizedmemberofsocietytotheheightsofbecomingoneofthemostpowerful.
Womenknewthistransformation.Onedaythey’reoff-limits,horsey,coltishjailbait.Ignored.Dismissed.Andthenextdaythey’releadingmenaroundbythenose.Richmen.Powerfulmen.Themostattractivemenintheworldarevyingforayoungwoman’sattention.Itwasaformofpowerthatdidn’tlastforever,butitwaspower.Anditcouldbeleveragedformoneyandeducationandaccesstopeople,eventuallytoamore-lastingformofpower.Sure,somedayhe’dbealawyeroranengineer,butfornowGavynmerelywantedtobebeautifulandpullthefocuseverytimeheenteredaroom.Aftersolonggettingridiculedandslammedintowalls,hedeservedhismomentinthespotlight.
Thewindowofyouthopenedateighteen,andithadashelflife.Gavynlovedhisparents,buthecouldn’twaittoemigratetoaworldwherehe’dbenormal.
Untilthenhewasmoreorlessahostage.
TheholdupcameintheformoftheCompensationClause.TheTalbotbookheldthathomosexualsaccruewealthandskillsfasterbecausethey’renotburdenedwithbearingandraisingtheiryoung.Liketheeggofacuckoo,thehomosexualchildwasbornintoaheterosexualhomeandfledgedtojoinhishomosexualfamily.Thustheheterosexualexhaustedtimeandresourcesthatultimatelybenefitedthehomosexualworld.Aconstantexportofnewadultsfromthewhiteandblackhomelandstothehomosexualrepresentedatradeimbalanceofthecruelestkind.Young,vital,fullyschooledoffspringweresiphonedawaytotheirappropriatehomelandwhiletheirparentswereleftwithoutcompensationorsupportintheirwaningyears.
Itwasn’tideal,Gavynunderstoodthat.
TheCompensationClausehadbeenenactedtobalancethesituation.Itstatedthatahomosexualadultraisedbyheterosexualscouldemigrateonlywhenaheterosexualraisedbyhomosexualswasreadytoemigrate.Somewhere,Gavynprayedakidwascomingoutasstraighttohislesbianparents.Thatkidwould,likeGavyn,getsenttothepostofficewhereaclerkwouldgivehimtheformsGavynhadjustnowfilledout.Thatdisapproving,cluck-cluckingclerkwouldwarnthestraightkidnottoseekemploymentoroperateavehicleorattempttovoteinanyelection.Andthatkid,theanti-Gavyn,wouldgobacktohistwomommiesortwodaddiesorwhateverthecasemightbe,toprayforaphonecall.
Senioryear,they’ddoneaunitonAdjustmentDayandthenewnationstates.Theteacherswhowereleft,theoneswhoweren’tburiedintheendzoneofFranklinHighSchool’sfootballfield,thoseteachersweregiddywithpraiseforthelineages.Tolistentothem,thelineageguyswereheroes.Ifitwasn’tfortheheroes,Gavyn’sgenerationwould’vebeenmarchedofftodieinthefalseflagwar.Gavynincluded,thankstostupidequalcivilstupidrights.
Whenhisteachershadn’tbeenreadingaloudfromtheTalbottbook,they’dbeenlecturingthatthemenhadbeenjustified.Studentsheldupcameraphonesandtriedtocatchanyonenotcarryingtheblue-blackbookornotexpressinglovefortheneworder.Thelineageswerejustified,aspertheteachers,duetothefactthatmalebabiesusedtohavetheirgenitalsroutinelymutilatedandthecourtsoflawwerebiasedagainstmeninchildcustodyandno-faultdivorcecases,andbecausetheprisonsweresofilledwithmenthatthemalesuicideratewasmorethanfourtimesthefemalesuiciderate.
Betweenlecturesthey’dwatchedaneducationalfilm:Bulldozerspushinggreatmolderingheapsofsomething.Thismesswasn’ttheusualslaughteroftinybabyroosters.Screamingflocksofseagullswheeledintheair,circlingthebulldozersandthegarbagebeingburied.Agulldovetograbsomething,thenflewpastthecamera.Pinchedinoneofthebird’stalonswasanear.Themoundsofgray,squashedstuffbeinggroundbeneaththebulldozertreadsandbladedintothedirt,theywereuntoldnumbersofhumanears.
Whencalledupon,studentswereexpectedtoknoweacharticleoftheTalbottbookbyheart.Forexample:
BountywillbepaidforinformationleadingtothearrestofanypersonusinganyunitofcurrencyotherthantheTalbott.
AsanalienresidentGavynwasn’teligibletoearnbountymoney.
IntheoryGavynshould’vebeenhappy.Onlynobodymentionedallthebloodandhowpeoplecouldfindbulletholesinthecafeteriawallbehindwherethetargetswerelinedup.Noduh,ahomosexualhomelandsoundedgreattoGavyn,buthefeltconflicted.Asifhe’dmetayoungpriestwearingashort-sleevedshirt,onlytheguyhassexytattoos,onlyhe’sapriest,onlyhisarmsareastonishinglymuscular,onlythetattoosarefullofswastikas.Thatkindofamixedblessing.
Gavynhadn’tbeenaskedtowearapinktriangle,butthatdidn’tseemveryfardowntheroad.Onlytherewasn’tmuchchoice.Thiswasthenewrealworldsohewasgoinghometositandwaitbythephone.
BackintheBeforeTimes,Walter’sfingershadslowedasifwalkingbehindTalbott’svoice.Walter’swriting,theshadowoftheoldman’stalk.He’dexpoundedontheideaofperishablemoneyandhowitwouldcreateaferociousclimateofearningandspending.Suchmoneywouldbeamediuminsteadofanasset,itwouldnolongerkeephumantimeandenergysuspendedinlockedvaults.
Ithadbeenslowgoing.Whetherfrombloodlossorage,theoldmanhadrambled:
ThePrincipleofFatalContrariansholdsthatsocietyhasworkedagainstthebenefitofcertainindividualsforsolongthatthosepersonswillnevertrustit.Theywillcontinuetopositionthemselvesagainstsocietyregardlessofitsaims,evenifthosegoalsultimatelyworkinthe
contrarian’sbestinterests.
Talbotthadgaspedawake.Hisheadhadlolledonhisstringyneck,andthedriedbloodhadcrustedinhiswrinkles,thosefurrowsacrosshisforehead,andthecrow’s-feetradiatingfromthecornersofeacheye.Flakesofredlitteredhisshouldersashedictated:
Peoplewillcelebratebeautyorgeniusbutnotwhentheyoccurinthesameperson.Tofindbothqualitiesinoneindividualoccursasaninjusticenoonewilltolerate.Whenithappenseitheroneor
bothgiftsmustbedestroyed.
Walterhadcheckedonthelisteveryhour.Nameshadappearedandvanished,andthosethatremainedwerecollectingimpressivevotes.Thepoliticians,especially.Talbottwouldnodoff,hisheadfloppedtooneside,andWalterwouldtoggletoTheListwebsite.Withasnort,hisnewoldmanwouldjerkawakeandannounce:
Drugsarepopularbecausetheygivetheuserawindowofmadnessorillnessthatcanbescheduled.Unlikesickness,drugscansynchronizetheinfection,derangement,andrecuperationofagroupof
people.
Pronouncementmade,theoldmanhadcollapsedintoanotherdroolingstupor.
Asforthelist’spurpose,Walterhadnoidea.Itconsistedofonlynamesandnumbers,namesandnumbers.AsperTalbott’sinstructions,ifsomeonepostedanameanditdidn’tattractatleastthreethousandvoteswithinaweekWalterwastodeleteit.Toguessbythepattern,thewaythenumbersseemedtodoubleeveryday,thendoublethenext,knowledgeofthewebsitewasspreadingbywordofmouth.
Onanimpulse,Walterhadenteredthenameofhisleastfavoriteprofessor.Themanhadfailedhimforrefusingtoaccepteverylectureasgospel.WalterhadtypedthenameDr.EmmetBrollyandhitEntertopostit.Thelisthadautomaticallyscrolledtoshowwherethenameoccurredinthealphabeticalorder,sandwichedbetweenastatesenatorandacablenewsanchor.
Evenashe’dwatched,asinglevoteappearedbesideBrolly’sname.Atworeplacedtheone.Athreereplacedthetwo.
NoparentsevernamedtheirchildDeliciousBastille.That’sthenameshechoseforherimmigrationpapers.Anewhomeland,anewname.BeginningonAdjustmentDay,everyemigranttookadvantageofafreshstart.AristidesandAristotles.BaccaratsandBeauregards.AndDelicious,whowithoutquestionshouldnothavewornbuttermilk-yellowcrepemuslin,notifshe’dsuspecteditwouldrain,donningaskintightdresswithoutacoatorwrap.Noamountofelasticandunderwirecouldimproveupontheeye-poppingcurvesofherbodysoshedidwithout.Halfwayfromwhereshe’dparked,theskieshadopenedup,everydroppaintingthepalefabrictoheruntilthedresshidnomoreofhermochaskinthanwouldalayerofmeltedbutter.
Everylesbianeyesnuckpeeksather.Attheswellingbreaststhatseemedtolungeup,up,andawayfromDeliciousBastille’schest.Thenipples,twoobviouspurplebull’s-eyesbeneathherclingingbodice.Strangerseye-rapedthetautmusclesofhertawnythighs,thesavorycleftofheramplebuttocks,allsoclearlydelineatedthroughherrain-soakedskirt.
Letthemstare,shetoldherself.Theirstareshadpreventedherfromlookingaroundtherestaurant.Ifshe’dmettheirleeringeyes,she’dneverbeabletohideherfrustrationandrage.
Hereshesat,nakedforallintentsandpurposes,pickinghalf-heartedlyathersalad.Shekepthereyesfixedononlyimmediateobjects:herglassofpinotnoir,herbreadplate,thesinglepinkroseinthetable’scenter.Sheshutoutthebuzzingdiningroomfilledwithgaysandlesbians.Excepthere,theyweren’tgaysandlesbians.Inthecompleteabsenceofheterosexuals,thepeopleseatedatthetablesaroundheramountedtomeremenandwomen.Womenandmen.
Tohelpavoidsomanyeyes,shefocusedonherdinnercompanion.Acrossthetablesatawomansportingawildblazeofredhair.Thepost-relocationnameshewentbywasGingerPrestige,andshewasthelatestofmanyblinddatesarrangedforDeliciousbythewomenintheaerospacecorporation.Noneofhercoworkersseemedabletotolerateanunmarriedfemaleintheirranks,sotheywereforeverthrowingDelicioustogetherwithsinglewomennamedCalyxorEsteem.Delicioussuspectedthatasinglegalwasathreatinthepaired-up,domesticatedworldofmiddle-agedwomen’ssociety.
Theredheadliftedlongfingerstotoywithadanglingcurlbesideherface.ShemetDelicious’sgazeandasked,“Soyou’reanaerospaceengineer?”
Delicioussippedfromherglassofwine.Shegaveamodestnod.
Thewoman,Ginger,lookedsheepishlyatDelicious’stransparentdress,whichstretchedtauttocoverhertinywaist.Theadmirationshinedinherblueeyesasshesaid,“Whatyou’redoingissoheroic.”
WhatshereferredtowasthemissiontoMars—atentpole,nationwidecampaigntounitethefledglinghomelandandclaim,atleastsymbolicallyclaim,theentireplanetofMarsinthenameoftheOscarWildeset.Deliciouswasoneofthehomeland’sleadingexpertsinrocketry,arguablythelinchpinofthenation’sracetoputsame-sex-orientedastronautsontheredplanet.
Delicioushadonlytakenasinglesipofwine.Toavoidtemptation,shesignaledforthewaitertotakeawayhernearlyfullglass.
Ginger’slongfingersandfulllipsinvitedfantasy.DeliciousshudderedwithafrissonofsensationassheimaginedGinger’sfreckled-pinkfaceatworkbetweenherowncocoathighs.Thebrilliantaerospaceengineercaughtherselfandshookofftheappealingvision.She’dbeenalonetoolong,tryingtoremainfaithful.ThefantasysaidlessaboutGinger’ssexinessthanitdidabouthowlongDelicioushadabstainedfromsex.
Gingerwavedforthewaitertorefillherownglass,saying,“I’mdrinkingfortwo.”OfDelicioussheasked,“Whatsignareyou?”
Deliciousrearrangedthenapkinspreadatopherlittlelap,saying,“LateMay.”
Gingersmiled.“AGemini.”
WhenDeliciousfailedtoengage,theredheadasked,“Soasanaerospaceguru,whatdoyouthinkofthewholeflyingpyramidthing?”
Delicioushadbeencelibateforfivemonths.Twentysoul-crushing,lonelyweekshadgonebysinceshe’denteredthisstrangenation.Shebeganfork-rapinghersaladgreensinsearchofanartichokeheart.Liftinghereyestorequestaglassoforangejuice,anotherboringglassoforangejuicewhenwhatshecravedwasavodkamartini,avodkamartiniwiththreegarlic-stuffedolivesandacertainblondman’smassive,rock-harderectionbringinghertoatoe-curlingclimax...whensheglancedupforawaitershesawtheblondman.
Hesatinanarrowboothatthefaredgeoftheroom.Athinwhiteman,skinny,with,atbest,atennisplayer’sbuild,butinactualityhardlymorethanskinandbone.Sherecognizedhisblondhair,cutlongernowandcombedinaboyishsprayacrosshiswide,ivoryforehead.HesatsidewaystohersoDeliciouscouldseehisfullprofile.Acrossfromhimateaheavilymuscledgiant,ablackmanbarelycontainedinatoo-tightjerseypullover.Thegiant’sjeans-cladlegswerevisiblebeneaththetable,andDeliciouswatchedashewedgedbothmeatykneesbetweenthekneesoftheslenderwhitemanandslowlybeganforcingthoseboneykneesapart.
Theslightlybuiltmanpulledaway,buttheconfinesoftheboothdidn’tallowroomforhimtofullyescapecontact,andDeliciouswatchedasthepredatorygiantspreadtheunwillingman’sscrawnylegs.Blushing,holdingbacktearsofhumiliation,theslenderblondseemedtosenseDeliciouswatchingandturnedtomeethergaze.
Shelookedaway.Herheartknockedagainstherribs.Hereawomanriskedeverythingifshestaredamomenttoolongataman.Shecouldbefiredfromherjob,evictedfromherhome.Thegovernmentcouldtakecustodyofherchildren,andshe’dbedeportedtoahomeland,whiteorblack,wherenoonethoughtitaperversionforwomenandmentobeintimate.
Iftheredheadhadnoticed,shesaidnothing.Shesippedherwineandruminatedaboutthebaby-makingrace.Everyhourheterosexualswerecreatinghomosexuals.Thehomosexualscouldneverkeeppace.They’dneverprovidematchingnumbersofheterosexualchildrentoexchange,andthatmeantasteadybacklogofhomosexualchildrentrappedinheterosexualhomelands.Herofficewiththegovernmenttrackedthenumbers,sheexplained.Inanattempttobalancethebooks,theywereproposingacashequivalentbepaidforchildrenwhocouldn’tbetradedforchildren.Akindofdowrywouldbepaidtotheheterosexualparentsascompensationfortheireffortsandtohelpfundtheiroldage.Calleda“liberationfund,”itamountedtohundredsofmillionsofdollars,butthemoniescouldberaisedthroughdonations.
Deliciousonlyhalflistened.Ittookeverystrengthshepossessedtonotturnandlookattheblondman.Shesensedhiseyesonher,onthesoftcurveofherbreasts,andshegrittedherteethinhereffortnottoweep.
AsthepalaceofSanSimeonistoitsisolatedstretchofCaliforniacoastlinesoisMaryhillcastletothePacificNorthwest.Eachisthesteel-reinforcedconcretelegacyofawealthytycoonsheathedinOldWorldarchitecturaldetailsandfurnishedwiththetreasuresboughtatfire-salepricesfromimpoverishedroyalfamilies.Bothedificesstandatopheights,overlookingthedramaticlandscapeformiles.Eachwasnicknamedbyitsrespectivebuilderas“theRanch.”
Allmagnificenceappearsasfollyatfirst.AstheEiffelTowerdaredtoriseaboveParisin1887,theFrenchculturalmavenVictorHugocondemneditasahideousoilderrickthatwoulddefacethecity.Likewise,astheEmpireStateBuildingwascompletedin1931andsatthroughtheDepressionwithouttenants,thepeopleofNewYorkbegantoderidetheirnewlandmarkasthe“EmptyStateBuilding.”Timelegitimizestheoutrageous.
Maryhill,thatimprobableItalianpalazzo,isnolessimpressivethanitsCaliforniarivalbecauseofitsgrimsituation.Adesertsurroundsit,littleasidefrombarren,wind-scouredscablands.OrnatebronzegrillswroughtinsomeRenaissancestylebarthewindows,makingitasmuchaprisonasafortress,foraccumulatedwithinareSlavicthronesandcrowns,TsaristportraitsandpricelessporcelainlootedfromtheOrient.Anditwasinthisready-madekingdomthatCharlieestablishedhishousehold.HisincomeamountedtotheonlysourceofTalbottdollarsintheregionsothedestitutefrommilesaroundpresentedthemselvesathisdoor.Hatinhand,eachaskedtobetakenintohispatronage.Themostcomelyamongthem,Charlieacceptedasteamwives,withthemarginallymoreattractivemadetoserveinhishouseholdwhilethelesserwouldlaborasfieldwives.Toawoman,theywerealltowearrippablebodices,andthemenweretowearkiltsortrewsastheweatherdiddictate.
Charliehimselffavoredanovertunicdenselyembroideredingold,worntocoveralinenshirtfeaturingcommodioussleeves.Velvet-panedtrunkhoseadornedhislowerlimbs,thefabricmadefastabouthiscalvesandanklesbyacrisscrossingofleatherthongs.ForsuchacostumewasinkeepingwiththenascentculturalidentityofCaucasia.
Amongthelonglistofarduoustaskswastherenamingofeverything.Foreverymountainandwatercourseneedberechristenedinaccordwiththeemergentsociety.InadditiondidCharlieordertheerectionofastoutstonebrewhouseforthemanufactureofmead.AshedidsummonthewatersofthemightyColumbiaRiver—fromhenceforthtobereferredtoasthe“CharlieBourne”—hedecreedthatwatersenoughbepipedandcompelleduplandastoprovideforthefarmingofexpansivefields.AgrandenterprisedidCharlieundertaketofound,hispalacewasquicklythecenterofexpansesofcurlyendivegivingwaytogreatswathsofsugarbeets,cilantro,andasurplusofrutabagas.
InaccordwiththeculturalvaluesofCaucasiadidcommonmenroamthecountrysideattiredintunicsandcassocksandcapes,shodinbootsorsandalsdependentupontheseason,whileatoptheirheadssatheadgeardenotingtheirrank.Liveriedweremanyindoubletsfeaturinggoredsleevesofflashingruby-coloredbrocades.Abouttheirshoulderstheycarriedthejewelsplunderedfromnofewmuseumsandmore,forpearlscouldbeboughtfromtheformerlywell-offforthepriceofanegg,andgoldhadusetoneitherthestarvingnorthedead.
SoCharlieandhiscourtiersdidsquireandbindtothemselvestheyoungestandmostlovelywhomcouldbeflushedout.AndbythewearingofsuchraimentdidCharlieandhisfellowchieftainsofCaucasiarediscovertheirnobleheritage.AndtrussedinVenetianbreechesdidtheygrippewterflasksofheartyaleandclangthosetankardstogetherwithboisteroustoaststooneanother.Busywerethehomewivesall,thosemultitudinousteamsofwives,sewingsporrans.
Thechallengeofprovinghimselfaherogavewaytothebusinessofmanagingdomesticaffairs,andCharliewastoobusytoquestionwhetherornothewaseversatisfied.Yetevenwhilehedidgadaboutattiredintabardsandbrigandines,quiltedgambesons,jerkins,andhouppelandes,eventhendidanemptinessassailhim.InresponsedidCharlieappointaCommitteefortheRevivalofProperCulture,whichrevivedtheminuet.Revivedgallantryandcourtierhandkissing.InstitutedthemandatorypracticeofWhite-Speak.AndfurthermoretosuffusehisrealmwithmeaningdidhereinstatetheworshipofOdinandThor,andtothatenddidpioneerthebuildingofanantiquecathedralcompletewithflyingbuttressesandnaves,butevenashekneltattherailandpartookofthenewlyinventedancientsacraments,eventhendidCharliefeeldissatisfied.
Busyandfedwerehissubjects.Theydidconsultneglectedtextsinsearchofrecipesfordyesandpatternsforthetattingofforgottenlaces.Andastunicsgrewshorter,theboldestoftheircompany
donnedcodpiecesofgildedleatherencrustedwithpearls.Andinthevicinityofthesecodpieceswereteamwivesalwayspreparedtobeinterferedwith.AswainmightdoffhisTudorcaporplumedtricorn,butthechivalrymoreoftendedthere!
ThisaforementionedemptinessputCharlieinmindofhighschool.HeharkenedbacktoEnglishclassandthestudyofFlaubert’sunfinishednovelBouvardandPécuchet.Whilehismore-vibrantschoolmatescutcapersandbandiedaboutenticementstoattainsexualecstasy,boyCharliehadporedoverthebook,retainingitsbasicpremise:Twoclerksarebestowedafortuneandleavetheirnormallivesinordertodiscovergreatersatisfactioninamoreennoblingpassion.Thetwotearthroughwine,art,horseracing,andfindnonesufficientlyfulfilling.Intheendtheyreturntotheirformerlivesofnumbercrunchingandscribblinginledgers.
ThatparablenowstuckinCharlie’scrawasifhewereswallowingapeanutbuttersandwicheatentoofastintoo-bigbites.Wasitpossiblethathewasincapableofsavoringlifeasapotentate?Hadherisentoofarabovehisnaturalstationasalowlygreasemonkeyoftheshopfloor?
He’dheardtalesofnascentrockmusicians.Avant-gardefigurescastfromthesamemoldasKurtCobain,who,oncetheywererewardedwithafortune,boughttherequisitemanorhousesimplybecauseitseemedthenextriteofpassage.Onlyforyearsafterthey’doccupyasingleroomofthesame,oftenthesmallestroom,oftenonlyalargecloset.
Consideringthatprecedent,Charlieresolvednottoshrinkfromhisdestiny.Buttograduallyexpandintohisnewrole.Andwhilethewomenfolkofhishouseholdwerecompliantandprivilegedtobearhisprogeny,heneededonewhocouldhelpshouldertheburdenofhisreign.
Itdawneduponhimthathisnextchallenge—perhapshisgreatestchallenge—wouldbetobalancetheinequitybetweenthemenandwomenofhislands.Tothatendwouldhetrackdownandmasteranexceptionalfemaleforthepurposeofgroominghertoserveasasuitablepublicwife.Whereasthewomendidallofthestoopedlaborinthefields,andwomenkepttidythechambersofhisMaryhillpalace,whilemenfolkdidquafflagerandswaggeraboutsowingtheseedsofthenextgeneration,ifCharlieweretograntwealthandpowertoasinglefemale,raisinghertothestatusofdeity,thatactwouldcounterbalancethelowpositionofallherfemaleunderlings.
TheenzymesinPiper’scellsbegantheirself-destructprocessofautolysis,digestingthecellularwallsandreleasingtheliquefiedmesswithin.Bacteriapresentinhislungs,hismouth,sinuses,anddigestivetractgorgedthemselvesonthisamberfloodofaminoacids.Fliesfoundtheeyes,therectum,genitals,andnostrilsandbegantolaytheireggs.Larvaehatchedandburrowedbeneaththeskintodevourthelayerofsubcutaneousfat.
Theeyescollapsed.
Theintestineshadalreadycollapsed,effectivelysealingthemselvesandtrappingthegasproducedbythebacteriainthedigestivetract,andthebellybegantobloat.Trappedbacteriaswelledthefaceandgenitals,swellingthetongueuntilitextendedbetweenthestretchedandswollenlips.Thepenisexpandedinafinalmockerection,turgidwiththebyproductsofbacteria.Theonlysoundwasthenoiseofmaggotsdevouringtheface.Acracklingsound.Theexactsamenoiseasstuddedsnowtiresmakedrivingslowlyoverbarepavement.
Theabdominalwallruptured,thegasvented,andthetorsocollapsedintoafoul,spreadingpuddle.Thebacteriainthemouthdigestedthepalateandattackedthebrain,whichdissolvedquickly,escapingfromtheears.Meat-eatingbeetles,AnthrenusverbasciandDermesteslardarius,arrivedtofeastonthemuscles.
Thenpossiblyonlytheskinandbonesremained.Mostlikely,thebeetlesresortedtoeatingtheskin.
Allthewhilethetelevisionremainedon.Thesamemanbeingdevouredbybeetles,devouredbymaggots,helookedoutuponhismortalremainsandsaid:
Thecowardtakesoffenseonbehalfofothers.Leteachmantakeresponsibilityforonlyhisownreaction.
Themaggotsmaturedintofliesandlaidmoreeggs.Andthehandsomemanonthetelevisionscreentoldthefliescrawlingoverhisskeleton:
Tomakeacareerofrescuingpeopleisalsotocreateapermanentclassinneedofrescue.
Flieslinedthewindowsofthecondominium.Deadfliescoveredthewindowsills,andstillmoreflieslaidtheireggs.Maggotsandmoremaggotshatched.AndthemaninhisbespokeSavileRowsuit
toldthem:
Wemustalloweachindividualtopersevereortoperishashechooses.
Eachnewgenerationofflieslaiditseggsandmaturedanddiedtryingtoreachthesunshineoutsidetheclosedwindowsuntilthesubcutaneousfatwasconsumedandthelastamongthelastgenerationoffliesfelldeadonthewindowsill.Eventhenthemanonthetelevision,whosefacemightbethatofakingorsaintorpresident,helookedovertheskullandbonesonthefloorbeneathhimandtoldit:
Amanisnotgoingtogetlovedbybeinglovable.
Foremigrationshe’dchosenhisname:GentryTate.He’dchosenDeliciousBastilleforher.They’dtoastedtheirnewmonikerswithchampagne,butnotmuchbecauseshe’ddesperatelywantedtogetpregnant.Hidinghadkeptthemtogether,butanydaytheknockcouldcometotheirdoor.
He’dbedeported,relocatedtotheethnicstateforwhites.She’dbeheldthere,intheformerstateofLouisiana,renamedpartofBlacktopia.Ifsheboreachilditwouldbetestedandassignedanappropriatehomeland.They’dfirstplannedtoescapetoCanada,butamillioninterracialcoupleshadhatchedthesameidea.Tostemtherush,Ottawahadclosedtheborders.
Leavingthemwithoneoptioniftheywantedtoremaintogether.Nottogether-together,notasmanandwife,notevenasfriendsoracquaintanceswhometoccasionallyinpassing.
No,passingashomosexualswastheironlyoption.Thequeernationadmittedbothblacksandwhites,andnogenetictestingcouldbetraytheiractualsexualities.Notthatthehomosexualsdidn’tforeseetheseattempts.Rumorhaditthatdesperatemixed-racefamiliesweresplittingaparttemporarilyandemigrating,thensurreptitiouslyreuniting.Mexicohadlongagostoppedacceptingrefugees.
Delicioushaddatedawomanwhoworkedinthefrauddetectiondivisionofimmigrationpolicy.Thewomanhadmadeitclearthatimmigrantscaughtengagingincovertheterosexualactivitieswouldbeimprisoned.DuetothehighnumberofhomosexualyouthsinCaucasiawaitingforexitvisas,thequeernationwasaggressivelysearchingforclosetedheterosexualsinordertotradethemforthewould-begayemigrants.
Iffoundout,Deliciouswouldberelocatedposthaste.Gentry,too,buteachtoadifferentethnicstate.Itdidpresentaconundrum.
They’djokedaboutseekingeachotherlateatnightingrimyunisexpublictoilets.Kissesstoleninfilthybackalleys.Demeaninganddegradingasthosecircumstancesloomed,attheveryleastDeliciousandGentrywouldpreservetheirattachmenttoeachother.Theirloveandtheirfuturechild.Untilthechildwastheagetodeclarehisorhersexuality,untilthentheycouldbealittlefamily.Theymightevensharecustody,handingoffthechildingritty,grimyadultbookstoreswhentheymetfortrystsinsomeunspeakablywretched,sticky-flooredpornographyarcadeswheretheirfellowsecretiveheterosexualswenttoconsummatetheirfrowned-uponpassions.Sordidconjugalvisitsinpitsofsleaze.
Consideringsuchatableau,Deliciouscouldn’thelpbutthinkoftheHolySaviorborninadirtystable.Thathadturnedoutwell,moreorless.
Shedespisedthethoughtofherchildbeingusedasapawnininternationalpolitics,butthatdecisionwaseighteenyearsinthefuture.Itwaspossiblethatbythenlawswouldchange.IfthechildchosetobegayitmightevenserveasananchorbabytokeepherandGentryinthesamehomeland.
Oneblessingaboutorangejuiceisthatitgaveheraconstantexcusetotinkle.Shedabbedatthecornersofhermouthwithhernapkinandfixedherdatewithameeksmile.“Naturecalls.”Sherosefromherchair,deliberatelynotglancinginthedirectionofGentryandhisaggressivehe-man,dareshethink“date”?Betweentheopenstaresregardinghertransparentyellowdress,andherdeliberatelyslowpromenadeacrossthediningroom,elaboratelycircumnavigatingit,wendingherwaybetweentablesasifconfusedaboutthelocationofthetoilets,withboththosefactorstoheradvantageshecouldonlyhopeherhusbandwouldnoticeherandhurrytocatchup.
Shastafoundthewebsite.Thebannerread“BrideofKings”andbelowthatitlistedeachmemberofeachlineagecurrentlyreviewingprospectivebrides.OnenamedBrach,aformerforkliftoperatorwho’dtakenpossessionofanislandestatenearSeattlewherehelivedwithhisharemofteamwives,thesitelistedhimasseekingadditionalmatches.
Brachownedagrowingchainofdiners.Shastahadseentherevolvingsignsthattoweredabovefreewayexits.Inboldblacklettersagainstalightedbackground,thesignsread“WhitesOnly.”Whetherthiswasaboastoranironicexpressionofresignation,Shastacouldn’tbegintoguess.ThemenuofferedNazipennepasta,aKlanburger,aHitlerveggietacosalad.
Brachandhisilk,princesandbaronstheycalledthemselves.Lastmonth’sgreasemonkeysanddoggroomers.Anaristocracyofformersteamfittersandgarbagehaulers.They’dpickedupgunsandblownthebrainsoutofcivilization.They’dreadtheTalbottbook.Theylivedbyit.Byreadingitherselfshecouldguesshowherlifeasateamwifewouldturnout.Asabroodmare,poppingoutwhitebabiestorepopulatethenewnationstate.Astringofbabiesbornayearorlessapart,whatherownmomusedtocall“Irishtwins.”
Insmallsettlementsandcampspeopleassembledtovote.Theyelectedtheirmostattractiveyoungwomanandpooledtheirresourcestogroomheranddressher.Andequippedwithanentourageofstylistsandhelpmates,eachofthesebeautyqueenswassentforthtothecourtsofmenineachlineage.Fortohaveadaughtermarryintothelineageensuredacommunitywouldnotbeneglected.Asthewifeofalineageprinceshecouldexertherinfluenceforthebenefitofherbirthplace.
Andtheyjourneyedforth,thesepartiesofyoungladies,eachwasapotentialqueenaccompaniedbyherhandmaidens.Andtheystreamedfromcourttocourt,fundedbythehopeanddreamsoftheirhamlets.Formercheerleadersandhomecomingdanceroyals,harvestqueensandrodeoprincesses.
Andasateamthegroupshowcasedtheirleadersoshemightforgeapowerfulalliance.Andinpreparationforeachmeeting,theladiesinwaitingcurledandpeeled.Theypluckedandcombed.
PerTalbott,peopleneededtoestablishamoratoriumonprogress.Forthenexthundredyears,thereshouldbeaholdondevelopingnewtechnologyandmarvelsofengineering.Fortoolongwhitemenhadbeensublimatingtheirnaturalimpulsesthroughscience,sofromhereonthoseenergiesmustbechanneledintheirnaturaldirection.WhitemenneededtobackofffromtheIndustrialRevolutionortheInformationAgeorwhateverthiswas.Whitesneededtokickback,drinkbeer,havesomeoutdoorfun,andmakenothingbuthealthybabies.“GenerationSex”wasthemotto.
Thedukesandearls,theylovedtheirsportsterminology.Teamwivessuggestedwidereceivers,tightends,fullbacks.FieldwivesbroughttomindthepackedfieldofcontendersinNASCAR.Everyhumanendeavorfromtirefactoriestotruckfarmswasfallingunderthepatronageofsomelocalprince’sfiefdom.Newmoneyhadtobeearnedandspentquickly.Talbottsaidthecurrencywouldbegivenalongerlifeonceitwasestablished.Butforthepresentaskinhadtobuybread,gasoline,toothpaste,somegrapes,amovieticket,apairofsocks,passingthroughthatmanyhandsinasingleday.
Shasta’sownparents’marriagehadsurvivedbecausesometimeshermotherwouldleaveherweddingringbesidetheirbathroomsinkandgoouttohavedinnerforafewdays.Othertimes,herfatherwenttodinnerwithouthisring.
Onthewebsite,ChieftainCharliehadcaughtShasta’seyebecausehewasoneofthefewwhodidn’tlayclaimtotargetingtheactualpresidentoftheformerlyunitedstates.
She’duploadedacouplegoodselfies,oneafaceshot,oneafullbody.Shefollowedtheprompts.PositionSought:Leadwife.Wouldsheconsiderservingasateamwife:Yes.Height:Fivefoot,nineinches.Weight:Onehundredtwenty-fivepounds.Anyhistoryofhereditaryphysicalormentalillness:None.Hair:Blonde.Eyes:Periwinkle.Race:Caucasian.
ShehitEnter.Apromptappeared.“Asaconditionofacceptancetheapplicantmustsubmittogenetictestingtoconfirmoverallhealthandracialheritage.”
ShastahadclickedtheboxlabeledAgree.
Inroomsofanysize,sparklingcrystalsetonsilvertraysheldhooch,excellenthooch,andJamalpouredhimselfaglasstoenjoywhilehetouredhisnewdomain.Hesurveyedthetalloilpaintingsthatstretchedalmosttotheceiling.Withtheirbad-assswordsandmedals,thesemenhadbeentheplayersoftheirtime.They’dunderstandhimtakingthisplaceoffthehandsoftheirsoft-hearteddescendants.Thesesoldiermenhadtakenlivesinordertolivehere,tobuildthesewallsandmatewiththewomenwho’ddressedthisplaceinfrilledeverything.
Arabellaandherkinweregonehometotheirplace,asmallerhouseawaysoffontheproperty.Thishouse,thebighouse,hehadtohimself.
Butahousedidn’tmakeanyonepowerful.
JamaltookuphiscopyoftheTalbottbookandhisglassofgoodhooch,andhewenttothebiggestchairinfrontofthebiggestfireplaceandsettledhimself.ToreadTalbottwastoenterintothepatternofhismind.TofeelyourownthoughtspatternedafterTalbott’s.Thatwaspower:Tolivewithinthemindsofothers.Toreorganizetheirmindsinaccordwithyourown.ToJamal,thatwasthegreatestpower.
Hecouldn’trecallthelasttimehe’dsatawakeallnight,inthesilentdark,absorbingthewordsarrangedbyawriter’smind.Butthat’showheread,tonight.Thegrandoldclocks,inthehallways,onthemantel,tickedlikeold-timebombs.
AsTalbottputit:
Whetherit’sbybreedingchildrenorpreaching,it’swhatmendo:Thisconstantdisseminationofself.
Tolookatwhitementhesedays,somethingvitalhadbeenbredoutofthem.Howhadthosemen,theVikingsandtheNorse,menwho’dsailedtheirlongboatsuptheRhine,theVolga,theDnieper,andDanubetoburnandpillageandturnmostofacontinentblondandblue-eyed,howhadtheydisappearedsocompletely?Hesuspectedthatformostwhitemen,itwasprideenoughtonotbeblackorqueer.Thatwasreasonplentyforseparatehomelands.Itwouldforcemen,allmen,toearnareasontofeelsuperior.
Notoneofthesepaintedmenwiththeirmutton-chopsideburnsandbeardsandgoldbraidhadbeenborngreat.Eachhadriskedeverythingforachanceatsomethingbetter,andtoamantheystoodtriumphantatopahundreddeadenemiesorathousanddeadenemies.Victorsandvanquishedalike,theywerealldeadalikeandcongratulatingeachotheronthevalortheyhadshown.
That’swhenhehearditfirst.Thatlatenight.Aloneinthehouse.Jamaldidn’twanttoentertaintheideaofspookshauntinghim,butthat’swhathismindseizedupon.Consideringthetargetshe’dputdown,thosepeopletalliedandburied,someterrorsenthisthoughtsdownthatguilt-riddenpath.
Exceptitwasn’tanysoundusuallyassociatedwithaghost.Hesethisemptyglassonatable.Hisglassonhistableinhishouse,andhewasn’tgoingtoberunoffbyalate-nightnoise.Especiallynotthatparticularnoise.
Thatthunderofwatersomewhereandtheshudderofsomethingthrougholdpipes.Itcameagainandagain.
Fastbutunmistakable,itwasthesoundofsomebodyonafloorfaroverheadflushingatoilet.
Delicioussat,amidtheranksmellsandtheadjacentwetsplashes,lockedwithintheunisextoiletattherestaurant.Aknocksoundedatthedoor,followedbyawhispered,“Susan?”
Sheleanedforward,whispering,“Gentry?”Sheunlatchedthedoorandswungitopen.Herdressstillclungtohercurves.Shewaitedfullyclothedtherein.
Thescrawnywhiteboywhostoodinthehalf-opendoorwaysaid,“Don’tcallmethat.”
Hisname,beforeimmigrating,hisnamehadbeendifferent.Helookedbothwaysinthepassageoutsidethecubicle,thenquicklysteppedinside,pullingthedoorclosedandlockingit.Hisarmswereinstantlyaroundher.Hismouthonhers.Deliciousfelthisfingersinchingthedampskirtupherthighs.
Hislipsnuzzledthesideofherneck.Hiserectionproddedatherthroughhischinos.
Deliciouswonderedabouthisburlyblackdinnerpartner.Shecouldonlyhopethatbulked-up,hot-bloodedbrotherwasn’ttappingherhusband’sbonywhiteboy’sbackdoor.Shetoldherselftochill.Shetoldherselfitwasharderforabrotherbeinggay.Asistercouldflirtandbecoy,butadawgwasexpected,especiallyagaydawg,tobedickingorgettingdickedonamore-or-lessnonstopbasis.Still,asGentry’slipsrovedoverherbreasts,shehadtoask.
“Brian?”HisnamebeforewasBrian.Sheasked,“Isthatdawgbeenupinyou?”
Hismouthstillexploringher,hisfingerspawingthedressdownhershoulderandexposingher,Gentrymumbledsomething.Hehelduphishandandwaveditwithhisfingersspread.Agoldringglitteredaroundonefinger.Aweddingring.Andnottheoneshe’dgivenhimattheirownwedding.
Tooloudforalittletoiletcubicle,Deliciousblasted,“Youmarriedhim?”
Granted,sheknewthebestwaytoavoidsexwastogetmarried.Nothingkilledthegoodtimesfaster.Butdidhehavetohookupwiththefirstbighe-monster?OrwasGaysialikeamen’sprison,whereyouneededtobeoneinmate’sbitchoryou’dbepunkedbyeveryone?
Gentrysurfacedforair.Panting,hetoldher,“Neither.”
“Neither,what?”Deliciousdemanded.
Yeah,hewasmarriedtothebrother,Gentryexplained,buttheyweren’tdoingit.
Deliciouswasconfused.Gentryhaddroppedtohiskneesandwasworkinghiswayupinsideherdressinsteadofdown.WhatlookedlikeapregnancywasGentry’sbigwhiteblockheadstretchingherskirtatthebelly.Hishotbreathgargledsomethingintohersex.
Deliciousasked,“What?”Shewantedanswers,buttheirtimewaslimited,andshedidn’twanthimtostop.
Aknockcameatthedoor.Gentry’stonguestoppeditsrunningaroundbetweenherlegs.
Fromoutside,avoiceasked,“Delicious?”Itwastheredhead,GingerPrestige.Sheasked,“Youokay?”Whisperingclosetothedoor,sheasked,“You’renothavingoneofthosetoiletbabies,areyou?”
Gentrystartedtolaugh.WithhismouthcuppedoverDelicious,hewaslaughingairintoher.Hewasgoingtogiveherpussyfarts.Shemadeafistandrappedonhisheadwithherknucklestostop.Tothenosyredhead,shewentnuclear.Shehissed,“Don’tberacist.”
ItwastheworstaccusationyoucouldlevelinGaysia.Itdidn’tmakecompletesenseinthissituation,butitdidthetrick.
Thevoicesaid,“Mybad.”Footstepsseemedtotrailaway.
Hisheadstillstretchingthehelloutofherdampskirt,Gentrysaid,“Jarvisisn’tthatway.”
Themuscled-upgymratmakingthebigshowofpushingherskinnyhusband’slegsapartandhumiliatinghimasadown-rightbitchrighthereinpublic,accordingtoGentry,thebrotherwasheterosexual.He’demigratedseparatefromhiswhitewifeandhadspentthepastsevenmonthstryingtofindher.Forthetimebeing,heandGentryhadgottenmarriedsoeachcouldactastheother’sbeard.Itwasalottoexplainwithhisfaceshovedintohersnatch,buthesoundedsincere.ThebigdisplayofsexuallyhumiliatingGentrywasanact.Othertimes,they’daccuseoneanotherofcruisingsomeoneatanearbytableandlaunchintoascreamingslapfight.
Gentrywasgettingtohisfeet.Hewasgentlybutinsistentlyturningheraroundandliftingthebackofherskirt.Hetookhimselfout.
Thepubliccatfightsandsexualhazing,thiswasn’thowactualgaysbehavedinGaysia.Itwasstrictlytheoutsiderinterpretationoftwoheterosexuals,butitkeptpeoplefromgettingtooclose.
Deliciouswantedtoaskhowthey’dmet.Shewantedtofindaniceheterosexualgalandgethitched,herself.ButnowGentryputhimselfinsideherfrombehindsoshesteppedherfeetaswideasthelittlecubicalallowed.Sheleanedoverthetoiletandpushedherassbackagainsthisthrust.
Thecandleswerevexing.Theywouldn’tstaylit.Theyteeteredandtoppledandfell.Shastawatchedayoungwomannavigatethesidewalkinthetinystepsageishamighttake.Thegirlheldherheadpainfullyerect,crownedwithawreathofscratchyhollyleavesandpoisonousmistletoeberries.Sixtall,whitecandlesjuttedupfromthiscrown,eachtippedwithaflickeringflame.
EvenasShastawatched,oneofthegirl’scandlestilted.Itdrizzledmeltedwaxdownthebodiceofthegirl’sheavilyembroidereddirndl.Theoff-kiltertaperfell.Thegirl’shandssprangintoaction,beatingatasmallfiretheflamingwickhadignitedinthefoldsofherlinenskirt.Thesuddenmovementscatteredtheremainingcandlesfromherhead.Somerolledinthestreet.OthersdroppedintothegutterwheretheysetfiretousedcondomsanddiscardedpapermoneyfromtheBeforeTimes.
Thecandles,thecrownsofthorns,theywereasmuchatestofpoiseastheywereaCaucasianfashionstatement.Shastafiguredasmuch.
Andwearingthisbullshitfripperywasn’tsomuchaquirkytrendasitwasthelaw.
Thedirndlgirlcursedquietlyasshestrippedoffthesmokingruinsofherskirtsandpetticoats.Shastaengagedhercoremusclesandheldherspineramrodstraight.Yearsofyogahadpaidoff,keepingherowncandlessteady.Herswastheregalbearingofamonarchintrainingasshestrolledpasttheunfortunatescene.
Fromelsewhere,avoicecalled,“Chica!”Amalevoice.“Nicecandles!”
Turningtolooktookasloweternity—alwaysthecandlestoworryabout—butShastarecognizedtheyoungmanwalkingtowardher.Hecarriedadufflebagunderonearm.Inonehandheclutchedapaperbackbookasthickasabrick.HewasabrotherofherfriendEsteban,fromschool.GayEsteban.Shestruggledtomatchanametohisface.
“Xavier,”heoffered.Hewasthestraightbrother.“Wheredoyougetoffondressingallwhitegirl?”
Shedidn’tbothertoexplainaboutflunkingherDNAtest.Noduh,buthavingtwograndparentsfromQuintanaRoohadbitherintheass.Shewasover-the-lineHispanic.Andnotoneofthegoodkind,likefromSpain,either.Sheaskedifhe’dseenWalter.
Xaviershookhishead.Hesaid,“Youhaveacandleout.”
“Damn,”ShastasaidassheopenedherKateSpadetotebag.RevealedinsidewasasquashedjumbleofDanishpastriesandjellydoughnuts.Shegrimacedassheworkedherfingersintothemessofpuffpastry,Bavariancream,andpowderedsugar.
Xavierrecoiledfromthesightofmasheddelicacies,sneeringindisgust.“Whatareyousupposedtobe?”
Liftinghergazeslowly,shelookedpointedlyatthevariousotherwomenwhocarefullysippedlattesorwalkeddogsonleashesastheybalancedacrownofblazingcandlesatoptheirheads.“It’sScandinavianorsomething.”Thepricklyleavesanddrippingwaxstungherscalp.“It’stheScandinavianversionofdreadlocks.”
Xavierrolledhiseyes.“Well,itlooksstupid.”
Shastasnapped,“Well,it’sthelaw.”Herfingersfoundtheobjectofhersearch,andshepulledacigarettelightersmearedwithcustardfromthegummymorass.Sheofferedit,asking,“Please?”
Xaviertookthestickylighter.Hesniffeditlightly,asifhemightlickitclean.Attheflickofhisthumb,thelighteremittedahissingblueflame.
Shastastoopedtobringhercandleswithinhisreach.Doingsoshegothimaroundonewristandtwistedhishandsoshecouldreadthetitleofthebookheheld.AtlasShrugged.Dr.Brollyhadtaughtthebooklastsemester.
Asheputthelightertoeachwick,Xavierbegantosing,“Happybirthdaytoyou...”Thenhestoppedsingingandsaid,“We’reallself-deporting.TheentireMexicanDiasporaisgoingGalt.”MeaningallHispanics,Latinos,Chicanoswereheadedsouthoftheborder.“Thesewhitepeoplearemuyloco,”helaughed.“Aftertheyallstarveorwipeouteachother,we’llcomepickupthepieces.”
Mexicointhemeantimewould,asXavierputit,“blossomlikesomethingoutoftheItalianRenaissance.”
Shastakeptherheadbowedslightly.Staringatherwoodenclogs,sheasked,“Istherewaxinmyhair?”
“Europeanarcheology,”Xaviercontinued,“hasimposeditsownbogusnarrativeonPre-Columbianeverything.”Forexample,hecitedthepaintingsandcarvingsreputedtoshowAztecsrippingouttheheartsofhumansacrifices.HeknewforafactsuchartworkactuallydepictedMesoamericansconductingsuccessfulhearttransplantsurgeries.Theloftystoneslabsatoptheirpyramidswereinactualityoperatingtablesplacedwherethehealthydaylightwasstrongest.
“Evenmoreamazing,”continuedXavier,“thepaintingsthatshowedtribesmenseveringheadsandholdingthemintheairasbloodgushedandveinsdangledfromtheseverednecks...”
Shastacringed.
Thosegristlyscenes,heexplained,were,intruth,proofofsuccessfulfullheadtransplants.
“Whitescientists,”theyoungmanhalf-shouted,“havetodenywhattheythemselvescan’treplicate!”
Nearthemayoungwomansteppeduptopeerintoashopwindow.Thecandlessproutingfromhercrownsettheshop’sstripedawningonfire.Notfaroff,anotheryoungwomansippedamochaatasidewalkcafe,unawarethathercandleswereslowlyignitingtheCinzanoumbrellaaboveherhead.
Xavierheldthecigarettelighterforhertotake.“Comewithme,”hedemanded.“Leavethesecrazygringostodestroythemselves.”
Itwastempting,andShastadefinitelyfelttempted.Herparentshadalreadyself-deportedtotheYucatanPeninsula.NottomentionthatXavierlookedalphamachohotwithjustenoughdirtsmudgedonhiship-huggingwhitejeansthattheydidn’treadasgay.HisgaybrotherhadprobablyskatedofftoGaysia.NowonderXavierwantedcompany.Hewassoalone.
Sheacceptedthelighterandsnappedopenherpurse.“I’msupposedtogivethesepastriestostrangers.”Shesunkthelighterintothesugarymuck.“It’saweirdritualthatgoeswithwearingacandlehat.”Shastawasstalling,notwantingtobreakXavier’sheart.ButshereallyneededtofindWalter.Toredirect,sheofferedtheopenpurse.“Here’sachocolateéclairthatdoesn’tlooktoomangled.”
Xaviergotthemessage.Hetookthedamagedéclair.Thewhippedcreambristledwithstrayhairs.Itsflakygoodnesswasfleckedwithpurselintandembeddedwithstraybreathmints.“Thanks,”hesighed.Helookedwoundedbutstillhighlydoable.
“Thankyouforlightingmycandle,”shesaidlamely.Sheturnedslowlyand,stepbycarefulstep,balancingherhalooffire,forcedherselftowalkaway.
Itwasanationaldisgrace.Nothinglessthanabadgeofshame,asfarasCharliesawit.Blacktopiahadonlyrecentlyannouncedasuccessfullaunchofitsnewflyingpyramid,basedonalong-forgottenantigravitytechnologysuppressedbyEurocentricinterests.AftercenturiesofwhitedenialtheblackshadproventhatpyramidsbuiltbytheEgyptianpharaohswereinfactflyingmachines.
WhilewhiteshadbeenhiringesteemedfilmdirectorStanleyKubricktodummyupconvincingmoonlandingfootageintheNewMexicodesert,theblackshadkepttheirownfunctionalmethodofspacetravelasecretfortencenturies.
Well,thesecretwasout.CharliecrouchedinfrontofthetelevisionandwatchednewsfootagebroadcastfromBlacktopia.ItclearlyshowedgargantuanCheops-sizedpyramidslevitatingoffthegroundatamilitaryinstallation.Theseimpossiblestoneshipsroseintoabluesky.Onegreatshiphadalreadylandedsafelyonthemoon,nearthesiteNASAhadclaimedastheirowninthefictionallate1960sstunt.Inamatterofdaysblackastronautswouldventureforthtoexplorethesite.They’dfindnoAmericanflag.Nogolfballsormoonbuggytiretracks.
ThewhiteethnostateofCaucasiateeteredonthebrinkoftotalhumiliation.
Todistracthimselffromtheinevitable,CharliecrackedopenacopyoftheTalbottbook.Hereadfromitevenwhilehishandlersenteredhisgreatthroneroomtopresentselectionsofcomelyyoungwomenwhohopedtobecomehisbride.
Thetelevisioncontinuedtogoadwithimagesofhugepyramidsfloatingaboveaprosperouslandscapepeopledbyproud,beautifulblacks.Theirdashikisflashedvividcolors.Theycarriedthemselves—men,women,andchildrenalike—withthepostureofnobility,withtheirspinesstraight,theirshouldersthrownback,asifeverycitizenwereanaristocrat.
HowTalbottReynoldsexplainedit,thesmartestmostdeterminedfactionofblackshadbeenonalaborstrikesince1600orthereabouts.TheideaofAdjustmentDayhadresidedwithinthemlikeaseedforgenerations.Tothisendthey’dpracticedtheirfiercenessbytargetingoneanother,knowingthoseinpowerwouldn’ttakenoteofabrotherwastingabrother.AccordingtoTalbott,whiteshadpracticedforAdjustmentDaywithschoolandworkplaceshootings.GayshadwastedgayswithAIDS.Thehomoswenttogymsandlearnedtodestroywiththeirbeauty.Allthefactionshadbeenbuildingacold-bloodedabilitytowardthefuturetakeover.
Iftheycouldacclimatetokillingtheirownbrothersandsisterswithouthesitationorremorse,surelytheycouldslaughtertheirmastersinpolitics,media,andacademia.Whenthetimecame,they’dceasekillingeachotherandturntheirrageoutward.
Thisin-groupcollateraldamagestokedeacharmy’sfurytowardthosesafe,insulated,so-calledleaderswho’dcometotheforebuoyedongoodspeechwritersandkissingbabies,butwho’dneverdemonstratedanyrealphysicalpowerintheworld.
Theopioid-addled,NASCARrubes...thegrill-grinning,thuggishblacks...thesex-crazedqueers...they’drehearsedforAdjustmentDayonsofttargetsintheirowncommunities,andnoonesuspectedanythingwouldmanifestbeyondthesein-groupkillings.Andthepracticetaughtblackstoshootbetter.Ittaughtthequeershowtosmiletheirwayhandsomelyintoanyone’strust.Anditschooledthewhitesaboutthepatternsofflightthatamassofterrifiedpeopleunderfirewilltake.
AsTalbottexplainedevents,theyweren’tafluke.AdjustmentDayhadcomeadaycloserwitheverydrive-byshooting,everyviraltransmission,everylettercarriergoingpostal.Oncethosegroupshadfullyshedtheirhumanity,itwasonlyinevitabletheydecimatetheirsharedoppressors.
Ontelevision,avast,flyingpyramidhoveredinthesunny,cloudlessskyabovethedancing,cheeringhordesofBlacktopia.Theirgoldjewelryflashed,asdidtheirsmilesofcompletejoyandunboundedpride.
Itfeltasifthewhiteracehadlostitsway.Itnolongerhadblacksandqueerstofeelsuperiortosoakeysourceofitspridewasgone.Whiteshadbeenlikeawealthyfamilywhoperformedanongoingpageantofmoralityandingenuitytoimpressahouseholdofidiotanddegenerateservants.Intheabsenceofqueersandblacks,Charlieandhisfellowwhiteshadlosttheirmotivationtolivesuperiorlives.Withoutunderlingstodazzle,thewhiteethnostateseemedtobefloundering.
Hemutedthetelevision’ssoundandwatchedthejubilant,dancingcitizensofBlacktopia.
Thewhiteracewaslikeafatherwho’dsurvivedhischildren.Hehadnoonearoundtoharangueorimpress.Noweak,flawedversionofhimselftolectureorrescue.Likeagodwho’dwatchedhislastcreationdie.Inthenew,neat,orderlyworldofthewhiteethnostate,whatdidthefuturehold?Thewhiteracehadmetitseverychallenge.Couldtheymakethegrassgreener?Makethetrainsrunmoreexactlyonschedule?
MomentslikethismadeAdjustmentDayfeellikeagiantstepbackward.Followingtheriskysocialexperimentsofthelastthreehundredyears,whitepeoplecouldonlyreturntoaworldofknightsandaristocrat,s.AfortressofNormanRockwell,Reader’sDigestprettiness.
AvoicewhisperedinCharlie’sear.Hismajordomoalertinghim,“Somefemaleguestsforyourreview,sir.”
Theheel-clicking,kowtowingflunkyfilledhimwithsickdisdain.Anymanwhohadn’ttakenpart,hands-on,inthebutcherysickenedCharlie.He’dmadehismark,Charliehadprovenhisvalor,andthatmeantfortherestofhislifeweakermenwouldavoidhim.Cowardswouldresentanddespisehisachievements.Hewouldexistaloneformostoftherestofhislife,withnonebuthisowncounsel,becausehistruepeerswerefew.That’swhatmadetheselectionoftheperfectmatesoall-firedimportant.Importantbuthardlyeasy.
Charliesetasidethebookandclickedtheremotetoresolvetheimagesontelevision.Hescarcelyneededtoturnhisheadtotakeinthesightofthenubileyoungfilliesbeingherdedin.Dressedinshort,pastelskirtsthatsuggestedEastereggs,theyfidgeted.Theirdoeeyestriedtocaptureandholdhisattention.Eyelashesbatted.Glisteninglipspursed.Somedrewdeepbreathsandthrustouttheirchests.Hewasn’tfooled.Howcouldtheyunderstandwhatitwastobeanythingbeyondbeingfemale?Theylivedsuchcorporeallives,notbelievinginanythingbeyondthevisible,thetangible,theopenlystated.
Amidthischaosofpreening,onedrewhisfocus.Oneamongthemstoodwitharegalstillness,herwillowylimbsmotionless,apotentialqueen.Herhoneyedhairpooledontheshouldersofherrichlyembroideredpeasantsmock.Charliecouldpictureherswingingascytheinfertilefieldsofgoldenwheat.Herloinswouldpushforthanewgenerationofgods.Charliewouldsireinherahordeofinventorsandartiststorevitalizethewhiterace.
Hestudiedherivoryarmsandthepear-shapedswellofeachinnocentbreast.Hersmallfeetwereotherwisebareinsimple,leathersandals.Herperiwinkleeyeshintedatadocile,animalintelligence.Charlieindicatedherwiththeslightestflickofhisfingertips,bidding,“Littleone...”
Atmost,sheappearedtobeonlyayearortwohisjunior.Usinghislordliestvoice,heinquired,“Howareyoucalled,girlchild?”
Forabreathshestaredback,speechless.Perhapsshe’dheardhow,forweeks,he’ddonelittlemorethanglanceattheparadeofprospectivewives.He’dyettospeakdirectlytoanyofthelegionsofattractivefemales.Hermutenessaddedtoherappeal,andCharliefelthissexexciteattheideaofhavinghersoon.
Whenshefailedtospeak,themajordomobrokein.“Sire,”themansaid,“hernameisShasta.”
Shasta.QueenShasta.
Shewouldbehis,Charlie’sperfectAryanconsort.
Fewthoughtsinhermindwereherown,livingonsodacrackersandginasshewas.MissJosephinedarednoteatthefoodArabellabroughtup.Sheassiduouslyflusheditinbite-sizedchunks,butonlylateatnightwhennoonewouldhear.Nightanddayshe’dtakentoleavingherlittletelevisionplay.Sheneededthecompany,despitehowitwasalwaysjustthatTalbottman.AccordingtohimthewhitefolksweregladtosurrenderJackson,Mississippi.JustasgladastheblacksweretoabandonDetroit.Hesaiditwasathree-hundred-yearembarrassmenttoethnoEuropeansthattheycouldn’ttilltheirriceplantationsorcuttheirowntobaccoorsugarcaneintheswelteringheat.Michiganamountedtolittlemorethansnowandrustedfenders.Whitesneededwinter,saidTalbott,neededanenforcedrest,otherwisetheywentcrazywiththeirlabors.Blacksdespisedtheridiculoussnow.
OnecouldpictureTalbott,aperformanceonpaperinhisbook,fullyincharacterassayingsuch.Instancesoflunaticinsight,MissJosephinecalledthem.Aninsanitythatpassesasthenewsanity.
HesaidsouthernwhiteshadbalkedatmigratingnorthimmediatelyaftertheWarofNorthernAggressionbecausetheydidn’twanttoprovetheNewYorkTimesright.TheyhadnobusinessinGeorgiaorMississippiorLouisiana.ButtotucktheirtailsandrelinquishtheSouthtoitsrightfuloccupantswouldbetoallowthesecondshoeofthewartofinallydrop.EthnoEuropeanswouldn’tmissthoselandscapesofkudzuandwatermoccasins.ToretainFloridawastoposesmilingwithadeadbody,thebodyofaninfantdaughterwearingalacechristeninggownandatinypearlnecklaceandtopretendthatgirlwouldsomedaycomebacktohealth.Floridawasdeathtowhitepeople.
AsifhespokedirectlytoMissJosephine,Talbottwaxedeloquentconcerningthemiasmasandtheswampland’sconstantpulltowarddecayandcorruption.NothingonEarthcouldsustainthewhitesoftheSouthexcepttheirownScots-Irishobstinacy.Malignantbreezesandthesteamingevergladesofferedwhitesnothingexceptskincancerandmalaria.IntheNorth,citieslikeChicagoandPhiladelphiaafflictedblackswithvitaminDdeficiencies,malnutrition,andfrostbite.
MissJosephine,perchedonhighinthiscrampedsuiteofrooms,roomscrowdedasajunkshopwitheverysilvercupandtrophy,everydiploma,diary,memory,andfamilyBible,shewasthebrainofthings.Asentryinanisolatedoutpost.Thespirit,spiritedupstairs,amongthespiritsofthecellar’swealth,she’dorderedtheentireinventoryofbrandyandMaderaportinterredwithherforsafekeeping.Thecasesofit,smuggledbyblockaderunnersduringthewarforseccession.
Adrunken,fleetingimpulsedawneduponMissJo.Shecouldburnthesetreasures.Thepastrestedinherhandsasastewardoranexecutioner.Shecouldburnthishouseandalltheflawedrelicswithinit.
Charlieknewwhattheproblemwas.Yousee,thewhiteracehadlearnedtosublimateitssexualimpulses.Ithadlearnedtodelaygratificationandtoinventelectriclightsandmammogramsandbotanyinsteadofjustjerkingofftopornorpolingeveryskankwhoneededit.Theresultwasthatwhitepeople,mostlywhitemen,inallhonesty,hadcreatedtechnologyandgottenthekudosofaperfectcivilizationwherestuffworked.Troublecamewhenotherracesdidn’tsublimateliketheyoughtto,theyjustkeptonrailingeverypieceofsnatch,AIDSornot,herpesornot,andkeptcrankingoutthebabies.Yousee,thewhitemenhadtradedbabiesforthepatentoneverythinggoodandtheroyalties,whichwereconsiderable,exceptthewhitemanhadneglectedthebigrace.Thepopulationrace.That’showCharliesawthesituation.Seeinghowthewhitemanwassobusynotfuckingthathehadenergyleftovertoinventsolarenergy.Butthislefthimlosingthereins.It’sallinStoddard.Yousee,technologyandbabiesalwaysseekabalancethroughouthistory.Whentechnologygotahead,babiesfelloff.Andwhenbabiesgotahead,thencivilizationfellbehind.Rightnowmankind’sprogresswasabouttogetswallowedinaseaofotherpeople’sbabies,andthatmeantgivingupvulcanizedrubberandreverseosmosisbecausetherewouldn’tbethesmartpeopleneededtorunthosesegmentsofsociety.
Ifwhitepeoplecouldslackoff.Iftheycouldjusttakeabreakfromanodizingeverythingandmaybejustnailsomepussy,thencivilizationwouldhaveachance.Notthatwhitewomenweremuchhelp.No,theywereonlyjustgettingtheirfeetwetwithinventingX-raysandeBay,andtheyobviouslydidnotsavortheideaofgivinguppublicaccoladesandputtingtheirlegsintheair.That’swhyAdjustmentDayhadgonedown.Itwouldgivethefewremainingalphastudsthechancetoboostwhitenumbers.ItwouldremovethetemptationofWomen’sStudiesdegreesandotherhorseshitthatbaitedladiestolettheirpreciousAryaneggsdryup.
AdjustmentDaygavemenlikeCharlie,withloadsofspermandnotthebestgraspofCalculusII,theopportunitytocatchupthegameforthewhiteteam.
Simpleasthat.
Dawsonhadn’tthehearttocutoffthewoman’sear.Itdidn’tmatterhowmuchshe’dbegged.She’dfinallysnatchedupthecarpetcutterandbegantodoitherself,thengaveupintears.
Shekneltthereinthedustathisfeet.Standingoverher,hecouldseethetopofherrightearwascrustedwithdriedblood.Apparentlyshe’dtried,likelyseveraltimes,tosliceofftheearbyherself.
DetailfolloweddetailaboutherAdjustmentDay.First,despiteherrequestthatstudentssilencetheirphones,aphonebegantosoundanalarm.Anotherjoinedit.Achorusofphonesweremarkingthesamemoment.Beepsandsqueaksanddogbarks,acacophony.Anditwasn’tasifasmatteringofstudentsinthehugeauditoriumreachedintotheirHelloKittyandG.I.Joebackpacksandproducedguns.Theprofessorandherteamofgraduateassistantslookedoninconfusionaseveryhandreacheddownalongsideadesk.Adeafeningchorusofcountlesszippersroared.Everystudentsatupright,extendinganarm,andgrippedineveryraisedhandwasafirearm.
“Itlooked,”shesaid,hervoicefaltering.Oneofhertremblinghandsflailedintheair.“Aforestofblackstickswerepointingatus.”Theshortbarrelsofpistols,thelongerbarrelsofriflesandshotguns,andinbetweenwerethemuzzlesofrevolvers.
Theblacksticksbelchedfire,awallofmuzzleflashandsmoke,thesmellofblackpowder,andagraduatestudentcrashedtothestagewithtwothuds.Shecouldhearnothingafterthefirstblast.
Thegraduatestudentdraggedhimselftowardher.Hislegsremainedwherethey’dfallen,buthistorsoandarmsdraggedthemselvespatheticallytowardsafety,dragginghisravagedbowelslikegreasyfringebehindhim.He’d,crawledhiswaynearwhereshecrouchedbehindthepodium.Bulletsandblastsofbuckshotexplodedthescreenbehindthemandpunchedholesintheplasterwalls.
Theonlysoundwastheconstantfiring.Shecouldn’thearifhe’dactuallysaidthewords,butasthegraduatestudentextendedhisblue,dying,alreadydeadhandtowardher,hisdeadman’slipsformedthewords,“Helpme...”
Aroundher,herpreciousteamofadjunctprofessors,theteamshe’dcarefullyhandpickedandspentyearsassemblingandrecruitingfromotherinstitutions,theywerefloppinglikebeacheddolphins,mangledbeyondanythingalivebutkeptleapinglikepuppetsandobscenelyjerkingasordinanceslammedintotheircorpses.
She’driskedreachingoutfrombehindthepodium.Herfingerslacedthemselvesbetweentheboy’sicyfingersandshedraggedhissoddenbulktosafety.Hisheadrestingonherlap,helookedtobe
asleep.
Dawsonclenchedhisjawtokeephimselffromaskingthegraduatestudent’sname.
NowwithDawson,thewomannolongersobbing,shelookedatthegroundmorosely,muttering,“Onlydaysshyofcompletinghisdoctoralthesisongenderfluidity...”Herentirebodyseemedtoconvulsewiththeemotionalpain.“Justbecausehemadesomeundergradsreadbellhooks!”
Theypromenadedthroughhisgardens,Charlieandhisbride-to-be.IdlingamongtheancientRomanbirdbathsandclassicalHellenisticlawnornamentsrequisitionedfromleadingmuseumsthroughouttheformerlyunitedstates.HepointedoutaBabyloniangardenornamenthefoundwhentheysackedtheGetty.Hopingtoimpressher,hecalledherattentiontoamessofyellowpetuniasplantedinaMesopotamiancarved-stonethinghegotattheNationalMuseuminWashington,D.C.Peacocksparadedtheirglory,buttheywerenothingcomparedtoShasta.
Dulyimpressed,she’dlookedatthemillion-year-oldEgyptianstatueofsomelady.CharliehadhisteampaintitKellygreentomatchhisnewlawnfurniture.Shastasawitandsaid,“Neat-o.”
Hewantedtoshowherthebossstuffhe’dscoredfromtheArtInstituteofChicago.Reallyoldstuff.Stuffhehopedshe’dlike,too.Thecourtshipscreeningwasjustaboutcomplete.Theystillneededhergenetictesttoproveshewasofficiallywhite,butthatwasjustaformality.Onelookandheknewshewaswhite.Theclearskymight’vebeenmodeledafterherperiwinkleblueeyes.Birdsongcouldnotcompetewithherlaugh.Suchaninnocentshewas,sosweet,sonaïve.ShestillbelievedinglobalwarmingandtheHolocaust.
Charliesuspectedhewasear-rapingher,buthewasnervous.Hecouldn’tstoptalking.
Hemadeherstandandadmirethebigcandleholdershe’dpickedupatsomechurchoranotheronFifthAvenue.Solidgoldorsomethingsoitwasokaytouseoutdoors,year-round.Hemadehersquatdown,putherhandsaroundone,andtrytoliftittoseehowheavy.Shecouldn’t.
“Prettycool,”sheagreed.
Newjunkwasarrivingdaily.MoreolddustcatchersfromtheGetty,stufffromtheMetropolitanMuseumofArtinNewYork,even.Acrewofguysdidnothingbutunpackthecratesandtrytofindspotstostickeverything.
Astheystrolled,hetriedtoimpressuponherthedifficultiesofhislife.Livingasanaristocrattooksomegettingusedto.Like,allthelivesthathungonhiseveryutterance.Nottomentiontherichfoodomnipotentmogulswereexpectedtoeat.Thismorning,forinstance,hefeltpositivelypoop-rapedbyhismorningbowelmovement.
Thustheirformalcourtshiphadbegun,andwithitShasta’seducation.AndCharliereadtoherpassagesfromthebookofTalbott.Slowly,hereadthatawomandecidesearlywhethertolovethesoulwithinherwomb,ortodiscardit.Oncethatbellychildisbirthednaturally,beitblackorbrownorAsian,shecan’thelpbutfeelloveandprideforit.Animpulsethatexplainedsomuchofwomen’sartwork.
Onthecontrary,awhitemanmustfindthenewborntobeahealthyfacsimileofhimselfbeforehelovesit.Forwhitemenaresoconstantlyundersiege,besetbycorruptideasandthedegradingeffortsoflesserraces,thatthewhitemanmustbecertainhisoffspringwillbehisloyalally.
Inthegloriousnewworld,Charlieassuredher,allchildrenwouldhavevalue.Notevenahomosexualchildwasworthless.Onceitreachedtheageofdeclarationitcouldbeexchangedforaninnocentboyorgirlheterosexualraisedbymistakeincaptivitybyhomosexuals.
Asminstrelsserenadedthemonlyresandpipesindaisy-densefields,CharliereadaloudtoherfromtheTalbottbook:
Godalonecancreateanythingnew.Wecanonlyrecognizepatterns,identifytheunseen,andcombinethingstocreateslightvariations.
Heread:
AdjustmentDaywasbroughtaboutbytheresolutionofresolution.
AsperTalbott,technologyandmoralityhavecreatedaclimatewherenothingshortofdeathresolvesanything.FeudsliveeternallyontheInternet.Noonecanescapeanymomentofhispast.Nothingisforgotten.Conversely,menhaveadaptedtoacceptshameandhumiliationasapassing
obstacle.Nopublicfigure,nomatterhowexposedandrevealedtobeadegenerate,leavesthepubliceyeforlong.Therewasnoclosureinclosure.AdjustmentDayoccurredtoresolvethefactthatnothingcouldberesolved.
Ontheradio,Talbottreadthenews:“TheunifiedcouncilofthelineagesreportthatthebodyofthePresidentoftheformerlyunitedstateshasnotbeenrecovered.HehasbeenmissingsinceAdjustmentDay,andofficialsareinvestigatingthepossibilitythathefledthegovernment,assistedbyagentsofaforeignpower.
“Lineagespokesmenreportthatabombhasbeendetonatedinacrowdedpublicstreetinthewhiteethnostate...InBlacktopia...inGaysia...andtwopersons...sixpersons...eighteenpersonsarebelievedtobekilledasaresult.
“Terroristsworkinginleaguewiththeformerpresidenthaveclaimedresponsibilityforthegasattack...arson...actsofsabotage...Citizenswithinformationaboutthesecrimesshouldcontactalineagerepresentativeimmediately.”
Astheblue-blackbookpredicted:
Duringtimesofgreatestmoralandethicalcrisispeoplewillsidewiththosenobleleaderswhopossessthegreatestnumberofguns.
AsTalbotthadforeseen,aformofStockholmsyndrometookhold.Peopleacceptedthenewleadersbecausepeoplewantedleadersandtheformerweredead.Thedetailsofwhowouldrunthegovernmentweresecondarytotheeverydaydetailsoftheirownlives.Providingfortheirchildren,forexample.Orcompletingtheirworkoreducation.Orfindingamate.Thosepersonswhostoodtobemostaffectedbytheimpendingwarfeltarushofrelief.Thecitizenrywasaccustomedtoadaptingtothegovernment’sdemands.Theexactnatureofthegovernmentwasoflessconsequence.
Naturally,manywereoffendedbytheviolentmeanstaken,butnoonesomuchthathewantedtothrowawayhisownlifeinprotest.Thedeadweredead.
Eachpersonhadbeengiftedwithadollopofintelligence.Eachdollopmetandsharedwithothers.AsperTalbott,oursoulsclinguntoourbodiesthewaynon-swimmersgriptheedgeofaswimmingpool.
Planescrisscrossedthesky.Eachplaneloadapopulationbeingrelocatedtotheirappropriatehomeland.Theyoungamongthemhappytotakepartinthelargestsocialimprovementinmodernhistory.Theolder,defeated.Householdswerepackedandshipped.Thosesurrenderingtheirpropertyhadgoneonlineandselectedanavailablehomeofequalvaluefromamongthoseforfeitedbyotherrelocatedpopulations.Inairports,familieskepttheirchildrencloseandstudiedthephotosontheirphones,thevideotoursofhomes,farms,andapartmentsforwhichtheyqualified.
Tocallthisasocialexperimentwasincorrect.Itwouldneverbeallowedtofail.Thoseinvolvedmustmakeitasuccess.
Ahundredyearspastmidnight,Deliciousandherhusbandlingeredineachother’sarmsafteraconjugalvisitinabusstationtoiletstall.
“TheycallJarvisan‘UncleTomofFinland,’”saidGentry.
Deliciousasked,“What’sthatmean?”
Gentryshruggedandshookhishead.“Somethingabouttoomanymuscles,”hesaid.“It’snotacompliment.”Hegazeddownamomenttoolong,studyingthemuckonthetoiletstallfloor.Heasked,“IsthataPercocet?”
DeliciouswantedtoaskifheandJarvisfucked.Menwouldfuckmud.Butshedidn’twantthewronganswersoshekeptsilent.
Perhapswhiteshadsuspected.Inrecentyearswhitepopularculturehadstumbledperilouslyclosetodiscoveringtheimmensewisdomandpowerblackshadlongconcealed.Whiteshadimbuedthefictionalcharacteroftheso-calledmagicnegrowithpsychictalentsandspiritualabilitiesthathintedattheimmensegiftsblacksactuallyheldincheck.ButwiththeadventofBlacktopiaatlastthesisterswho’dactedthepartsofbasedcrackheadsandmorbidlyobesewelfarecheats,goingsofarastogluewhitewomen’shairtotheirownheadsinamockeryofwhitebeautystandardsthattheself-centeredwhitebuffoonstooktobeacompliment,theseregalblacksisterscouldfinallycastofftheirFalstaffianrolesandtaketheirrightfulplaceasunstoppablehealersandknowersofgreat
cosmictruths.
Inkeepingwiththeirbirthright,BlacktopiansstrodelanguidlythebroadavenuesoftheirEarth-friendlycities.Theirlonglimbsglowing.Theirwomen,willowyandglossywithconfidentwisdom.Immaculatespiresjuttedgracefullyintotheclearskies,defyingtheStoneAgephysicsofthebackwardwhiteman.
Blacksdidn’tsomuchsaunterastheyglidedincontinuousmovement.TheirswerenotthejerkingstepstakenbycitizensofCaucasia.Thewhiteman’slanguagehadnowordsformovementthisfluid,smoothedbeyondsmooth.Moresowitheachsuchshortcoming,thewhitelanguagewasfallingbythewaysideandBlacktopiaresurrecteditsownancienttongue.
Whereaswhitehistorywaswritteninwords,blackhistorywaswritteninmelodies.
Brothersshruggedoffthemantleofviolentpsychotickillers,characterizationssobroadandcoarsethatonlythecrudewhiteswereeverfooled.Ithadbecomeaninsidejoke:Howoutlandishlycouldthebrothersbehave?Howfarcouldtheypushwiththeirmusicbeforethewhiteoppressorsmightbegintowonderifthewholeperformancewasfortheirbenefit?
Iftheyspokeloudlyandlaughedlouderitwastohidethetruththatmostoftheircommunicationwithoneanothertookplacethroughmentaltelepathy.
Freetoassumetheirlegacyaslearnedshamans,thebrothersgleefullyshedtheirbrimmedcapsandknottedkerchiefs,redandbluetrappingsoftheirpretendgangaffiliations.Theylaughedafinalgood-byetotheslipperyEbonicswithwhichthey’dhiddentheirgeniusfromthewhiteman.Maskedbythosecodedwordsweretheformulasforalchemizingpreciousdiamondsfromsand,andthenewlyfreedbrotherscalledforthmassquantitiesofdiamonds,andmanifestedalikebulkofrubiesandflawlessemeralds,andfashionedthetotalofthesejewelstocreateimmensepalacesthatcaughtthesunlightandblazedwithinlikeheavenlyrainbowsthelikesofwhichthewhiteman’spunystained-glasscathedralwindowscouldneverapproach.
InBlacktopiathepeoplecontinuedtosingtheirpraisetotheEarth,andingratitudediamondssproutedthroughtheground,thesizeofskyscrapers,andlancedthecloudslikeminarets.Andmoltengoldbubbledupandhardenedinstantlytoformdomedpalacestohousethefaithful.
Shelteredinthisparadiseofcolor,theblacksretookthedestinythathadbeenwithheldfromthemunderwhiterule.Forthefirsttimeinrecordedhistory,blackeffortswouldbenefitonlyblacksandnotlinethecoffersofanenemy.AndthecitiesknownasAtlantaandBirminghamandMiami,whitecitiesall,theywerelaidwasteto,andthemajesticblacks,theirmuscularbacksgleamingwithcleansweat,theysangintoexistenceglorioustemplestohonortheirpredecessors,andtheseedificesexcitedtheskylinewithshapestooastoundingforwhitestoenvision,andwithinthesemammothvillasthebrothersandthesisterslivedinperfectaccordwithallanimals,inimpeccableharmonywithnatureandthespiritworld.
ThefewwhitesallowedtoseteyesuponthewondersofBlacktopia,theyretreatedinweepingawe.Andtopreservetheirstubborn,cavemanfantasyofsuperiority,thesewhitemenloudlyandvehementlyclaimedthejeweledpalacesandinterplanetaryflyingpyramidswereliesandoutrightillusions.AndwhenthesistershaderadicatedallformsofcancerfromBlacktopia,jealouswhitesdemandedproof,butwhatproofcanbeprovidedofwhatdoesnotexist?ForintheirwisdomthesistershadsourcedtheagelessspiritsandenlistedthosehauntstobanishcancerandAIDSandherpesuntilnotasingleblackwasafflicted.
Andwhilethewhitesstrivedtoincreasetheirnumbers,whitescienceandtechnologystalled.AndcertainwhiteswerenotaboveinfiltratingBlacktopiatoplunderitsbrilliance.Forwhitescienceandmathematicshadbeenharnessedonlytobuildatomicbombswhileblackintellectyielded,daily,newwondersthatenrichedlife,especiallythelivesofwomen,forBlacktopiahelditssistersasitsgreatesttreasure.
AndfollowingthepatternofwhitemensuchasjournalistJohnGriffin,whodarkenedhisfacewithmethoxsalenandultravioletlightandslitheredforthtoappropriateblackachievementandblackexperienceandpresentitashisowninthebookBlackLikeMe,andindoingsomakehisfortune...inthesameway,whitemenofCaucasiamaskedthemselvesandwormedtheirwayacrosstheborder.
Suchfolly!Forthewhitesknewonlytomimictheridiculouselaboratehandshakesandsaggy-pantsgibberishspeaktheblackshadaffected,andthebrothersrecognizedatoncetheseshufflingimposters.Would-bethieves,thesesquabbling,gun-waving,hip-shaking,crotch-grabbingcrackersinblackface,theywerehumoredandledtobelievethey’dsuccessfullyinfiltratedBlacktopia.There,
thebrothersschooledthemtopartakeoftheirownurineasasupposedcureforcancer,andthewould-beculturalthievesranhome,andprettymuchallwhitesadoptedthepractice.
Theinstructionsheetspecifiedmachine-washableonlyanddurability.Gavynpulledthedrycleaner’splasticoffhisfavoriteSandshirtandundidthebuttons.Heloopeditoffthehanger.Sotailored.Theorangesandredssosaturated.He’dwornittwice,afraidhemightstainitorthatthecolorswouldfade.Holdingthecollartuckedunderhischin,hefoldedtheshirtagainsthischest,matchingthesleeves.Hefoldedthefoldedshirtasecondtimeandathirdtomakeasmoothneatpacketheplacedintotheemptysuitcaseonhisbed.
Avoice.Nothismother’s.Hissister,Charm,said,“That’ssonot-the-rightshirt.”Shestoodleaningsidewaysinhisdoorway,herarmscrossed.Charmheldupastop-signhandtohushanybacktalk.Shewenttotheopenclosetandhershouldersslumpedinresignation.Thearrayofretrocowboyshirtswithpearlizedsnaps.TheDolceknock-offpulloverswithmetalicizeddetailing.VintageVersace.BeforeherwasthetrousseauGavynhadbuiltforhisadultlife.Hishomosexualhopechest,asitwere.
Hissisterpluckedatthefrontofherownarmysurplusuniformshirt.“Thiswillwearlikeiron.”Olivedrab.Untucked,thetailshunghalfwaytothekneesofherbluejeans.Theclosestthingshecouldfindinhisclosetwasathriftstoreshirtofcanvas-likekhaki-greenmaterialenlivenedwithembroideredpatches.AsecondhandBoyScoutuniformcompletewithEagleScoutbadge.
Gavynprotested,“It’spermanentpress.”
CharmtossedasidetheSandshirtandreplaceditwiththekhaki.“It’snotafashionshow,”shesaid.“It’saconcentrationcamp.”
TheTalbottbookcalledtheplaceanInventoryRetentionCenter.Untilrecently,untilAdjustmentDay,theparticularonewhereGavynhadbeenassignedhadbeenalow-securityprison.
TheyearofInitialRelocationneareditsend.Thosebornintothewronghomeland—homosexualsborntoheterosexuals,orthosewithaninappropriatepreponderanceofsub-SaharanorCaucasoidDNA—they’dbesurrenderedbytheirsourcefamilies,togovernmentcustodyuntilalikemis-birthintheappropriatehomelandcouldbeidentifiedforexchange.SomewhereinGaysia,Godwilling,aneighteen-year-oldheterosexualwaspackingasuitcase,headedforasimilarholdingcamp.Afteralmosttwodecadesofbeingfed,dressed,andeducated,Gavynandhisilkrepresentedtoobigofaninvestmenttobeleftunattended.IftheyattemptedtoemigrateillegallyorescapetoCanadaortocommitsuicide,thenationstoodtoloseasizableexportcommodity.
Hewondered,idly,iftherewasanundergroundrailroadtoallowmis-birthsamorespeedypathtotheirrightfulhomeland.Tosidestepthenormalwaitforasuitablecandidatefortheexchange.Asystemofsafehouses.Humantraffickers.Maybethereexistedcoyoteshecouldpaytoguidehimthroughtheborderlands.
CharmpulledoutthetopdrawerofthebureauanddugamongGavyn’ssocks.Ofthesesheselectedtwopairsdarkblue,threeblack,apairplaingreen,andsixpairsofwhitesweatsocks.Tuckingthemintothesuitcase,shesaid,“Atleastyou’renotbaby-makingmachineryforsomechieftain.”
Fatchanceshe’dendupachieftain’swife,notwithhersunburnedfaceandcroppedhair.Anotherreasonhewassurrenderingforretentionandexport.Ifanequivalenttradewasn’tavailable,theacceptinghomelandwouldhavetopayupwardsofahalfmillionTalbottsincompensation.Gavyn’sparentscouldusethemoney.EvenCharmhadtoknowthat.Theycouldbuyabusiness,asmallfarm,seedcorn,livestock,allthestaplesthey’dneedtobeself-sufficientintheneweconomy.Otherwise,they’dbecomelikealltheirfellowformer-white-collar,former-information-technology,former-paper-pushingprofessionals:Tosurvivethey’dneedtosubmitthemselvesasserfstoalocalchieftain.
Othersmighthightailitfortheborder.Orsuckdeathfromthetailpipeinaclosedgarage.Butwithsomepatience,Gavynfiguredthiscouldendasawin-win.He’dassimilateinGaysia,andhissourcefamilywouldowntheirlivelihoodandtheirfreedom.
Hissisterkneltbesidethebedandreachedunderneath,pullingouttennisshoesandloafers.Apairofeachshebaggedinplasticgrocerysacksandnestledintothesuitcasebesideafoldedpairofcargoshortsshe’dselected.ShortsGavynhated.Thesesatontopofcamopantsshe’drecommendedbecausethey’dnevershowstains.Sandwichedbetweenthese,sheplacedaplasticTupperwareboxcontaininghistoothbrush,hisrazor,toothpaste,andcomb.HisSandshirt,beautifulandimpracticalinallitsorangeplaidglory,layonthebedwhereshe’drelegatedit.
Whathissistersaidnext,hedidn’tcatch.
“Iasked,”Charmrepeated,“didyouhearaboutthatguy,Walter?”
Gavynlookedaroundhisroomforalong,lasttime.“Walterwho?”
Sheprompted,“WhousedtogowithShastafromschool?”
Heshookhishead.“Why?”
Hissisterlookedatthespaceremaininginthesuitcase.Shepulledaheavywoolsweaterandalightercottononefromthetopshelfofthecloset.Thesesheballedupandpacked.BackatthebureausheignoredtheAndrewChristianmicrofiber,stylized,butt-baringathleticsupportersinfavorofhisold-schoolY-fronttightywhities.Sherolledupabaggypairofdrawstringshortsshesaidcoulddodoubledutyasswimwear.
Sheaskedsomething.
Gavynasked,“Again?”
Lightly,asifhewereonlygoingofftosummercampfortherestofhislife,hissisterasked,“Missme?”
Hetoldhimselftherewouldbebetterclothes,bettereverythinginhisfuture,betterthaneverythinghe’dbeforcedtoleavebehind.Clothesandloveenoughhe’dnevergiveasecondthoughttothepatheticwardrobehe’dboughtwithhislawn-mowinganddog-walkingwages.Outthere,somewhere,wasalovethatwouldmakehimforgethissisterandhissourceparents.
Thesuitcasefilled,Charmsaid,“Don’tworry.Itwillbefun.”Shesaid,“Whoknows?”Butitwasonlyhermouthsayingit.
Hecaughtsightofherinthemirroroverhisbureau.Ashisbackwasturned,shesecretivelyliftedthebeautifulorange-plaidshirtandtuckeditbeneathallthepracticallong-lastingdenimandcanvas.Sheclosedthesuitcaseandzippereditshut.
Asthehousekeepercoiledstrandsofhairintotightpincurls,MissJosephineleanedforwardoveranopenbook.Heavyinherlaplayafly-speckedcopyofGonewiththeWind,andashereyesscannedMargaretMitchell’sdialog,MissJosephine’slipssilentlymouthedthedialecticpatois.Herlipsstungasshepressedthemwithcoarsegrainsofrocksalt.Herlipsstungandswelleduntilthey’dbeguntosplitandshecouldtastethebloodmixedwithsaltonhertongue.
Onthesurfaceofthevanityinfrontofhersatherdentures.Theteethalmostglowedwithcoatuponcoatofpearlizedwhitefingernailpolish.Inthedark,totaldarkness,theywouldglowduetothephosphorescentdyesMissJohadaddedtothepolish.
Beyondthebook,theimageshesawinthemirrordelightedher.Methoxsalen,likeJohnGriffinusedwhenwritingBlackLikeMe,ithadworkeditsmagic.JustasithadforthatSprigleman,thereporterwho’dtakenmassivedosesofthedrugin1948andtouredtheSouthtowritehisbookIntheLandofJimCrow.Nottobeoutdone,thereporterGraceHalsellhadgoneblackfacetowriteherowntomein1969,SoulSister.NosyAmericannewshoundswerealwaysblackingupandwritingabouttheirmadcapadventures.
Notthatthey’dinventedthetrick.AlJolsonin1927.FreemanGosdenandCharlesCorrellasAmos’n’Andyin1928.JudyGarlandasearlyas1938’sEverybodySing,thenagainwithMickeyRooneyin1941forBabesonBroadway.Allittookwasthirtymilligramsofmethoxsalen,followedbytimeunderasunlamp.EvennowultravioletlightsshoneonMissJofromeachofseveraldifferentangles,evenlyexposingherbarearms,herlegs,neck,andfaceassheperspireddaintilyinherlacechemise.,
Thesideeffectsmightincludeheadaches,dizziness,insomnia,andnausea,butthathadn’tstoppedthelovelyAvaGardnerfromplayingabeautifulblacksireninShowBoat.NorhadpossiblekidneydamagedissuadedJeanneCrainfrombecomingaprettyblackgirlchildin1949’slandmarkfilmPinky.Aslateas1965,LaurenceOlivierhadriskedhishealthtoplaytheblackOthello.Liverdamagewasathreatwithmethoxsalen,aswascancer.EvennowMissJosephine’sheadswam.Hervisionblurred.Butthesewereasmallpricetopayforamiracledrugthatallowedwhitepeopletobecomeblackpeople.
NotthatArabellaunderstood.Thesillywomanyankedonanotherstrandofhairandtwisteditaroundabobbypin.Mostofthehairlaytightagainstherscalpinsimilarlittleknots.Forthenext
step,thehousekeeperwouldapplythepermsolution.She’dwaitjustalittletoolongbeforeapplyingthestoppingagent.She’dusepineapplejuicebecauseitofferedtheperfectacidity.Bywaitingasmidgentoolong,they’dburnthehairamite.Afterthepinswereout,onceMissJofluffedthekinked,tightlycurledhair,itwouldstandaroundherfacelikealushonyxhalo.Dyedofcourse.
Betweenthepainofherhairbeingpulledat,andthequeasinessinhertummy,hersalted,swelled-uplipsandhersweatyskin,MissJostruggledtopronouncetheantiquatedtalkjustasMitchellhadwrittenit.ThereflectionthatstaredbackfromhervanitymirrorhardlyresembledAvaGardner’senchantingcharacterJulieLaVerne,butthatnewlymintedpersonwouldbeMissJo’sescapefromthestrainofhercurrenttenuouscircumstance.
ExactlyasTalbottReynoldshadasked,Walterhadlaunchedthelistonline.First,peoplehadjokedaboutit.No,firstthey’dignoredit.Onlyafterthey’dnoticed,thenthey’dridiculedthesite.Onceithadgarneredafewmillionpostings,somepeoplehadtakenoffenseanddemandeditbebanned.Thesehadbeenmostlythepeoplewhosenamesdrewthemostvotes,thepoliticiansandacademicsandmediacelebrities.Walterhadsatinthebasementoftheabandonedhouseandrefreshedhisscreeneveryhour,andmarveledattheresponse.
He’daskedTalbott,“Howdowemonetize?”He’dhadinmindbuyinghouses,thebigschemehe’ddreamtuptoseduceShasta.
Talbott,asalwaystiedtoachair,Talbottwoozywithbloodlossanddappledwithscabsandrazorbladescars,he’dsaid,“Writedownthesenames...”Ashisinfectedcutsdrained,he’dproceededtorattleoffadozennamesthatWalterhadhurriedlyscribbledonhispad.“Searchonline,”Talbotthadcommanded.“Contacteachman.”
Walterperusedthelist.“Thiswillmakemerich?”
Feverish,glassyeyed,Walter’snewoldmanhadasked,“You?Ishouldmakeyourich?”
WalterhadhitRefreshandtriedtohidehisannoyance.He’dconsideredaddingTalbott’snametothelist.Nowhe’dhavetohuntdownthesedozenmenandmostlikelycontactthem.Lately,Talbotthadseemedtobebaitinghim.Thisentireschememight’vebeentheoldman’ssnipehunt.
Theoldmanhadrallied.“Tomakeyourfortune,”he’dadvised,“buyfakefur.”
Walterhadrepeated,“Fake?”
Theoldmanhadnoddedgravely.“Fur...Naugahyde,”he’dintoned,“Pleather,too.”Hisheadhadsettledtooneside,asleep.
WalterhadhitRefresh.
Amusicianfollowedthematadistance,pipingasoftmelodyonarecorder.AnarrayofpeacocksfannedtheairwiththeirexotictailsasShastastrolledpast,herarmdelicatelylinkedwithCharlie’s.Thegardensfellawayoneveryside,plantedinelaboratepatternsoffennelandasparagus.Thematterofhersalivahadreareditsuglyhead,yetagain.Intheoldentimes,priortoAdjustmentDay,boyshadpressuredherforfellatio.Charlieonlybulliedherforageneticsampletoproveherethnicity.She’dbeenputtinghimoffforweeks,placatinghimwithoralsexandfetishisticnursecostumes,buttodayhe’dfallenintoasullenpout.
Astheywalked,theirsilencebrokenonlybytherecorderandthefrequentscreamsofpeacocks,theansweroccurredtoher.Agirlshe’dknownincollege.AfreespiritShastahadallbutforgotten:Charm.
Agirllikenoneother.OnlyCharmwasCharm.
InWorldMythologies,Dr.BrollyhadtaughtthemancientGreeklegendsofBellerophon,theherowho’dtamedtheflyinghorse,Pegasus.He’dbattledanddefeatedtheall-girllegionsoftheAmazons,andhe’dslaughteredthedragon,Chimaera.Undefeated,he’dbadethegodPoseidontofloodthenationofXanthus,butthewomenfolkofXanthushadconfrontedtheapproachingwaves.Theseenterprisingfemaleshadliftedtheirskirtsandfacedtheoceanwithgirlpartsfullybared.
Crossculturally,fromEuropetoIndonesiaandSouthAmerica,theancientworldhadbelievedthatexposedpussieswouldalwaysfrightenawayevil.Upuntiltheeighteenthcentury,abovethedoorwaysandgatewaysofcastlesandchurches,masonshadcarvedimagesofwomensquattingtorevealthemselves.NeitherSatannoranyevilcouldendurethesightofthefemalesexorgans,itwassaid.
ConfrontedbyallthevaginasofXanthus,thetidesrecededinfear.Thewavesretreated,andBellerophonmetdefeat.EventheflyingPegasushadfreakedoutandboltedaway.
WalkingarminarmwithCharlie,Shastareflectedonwhathadhappenednotlongafterthatstudymoduleontheancientworld.
Charmhadapparentlytakenthelessontoheart.BackinthoseweeksbeforeAdjustmentDay,whenthedoomedsurplusmalesoftheyouthbulgehadcomecourting,she’dputherrecenteducationtogooduse.Theboysvarsitylacrosseteamhad,ononeoccasion,encircledherinanotherwisedesertedhallway.Playfully,theaggressiveteenshadendeavoredtomouthherbreaststhroughhersweater,andtogooseherwiththeirmechanicalpencils.Ratherthanpitythemasimminentcannonfodder,Charmhadreadilyappliedtheteachingsofantiquity.
Asthey’ddancedaroundher,Charmhadsimplyliftedthefrontofherskimpycheerleaderskirt.Unmaskedbyunderclothes,ithadbeenfullyexposed:Hervulva.Weanedonthetamehairlessvaginasofpornography,theyoungmenhadrecoiledinterror.AsachargingarmyofhairyvaginashadspookedthewingedstallionPegasus,Charm’shirsutesexualcenterhadshockedthosewould-besuitors.Astheirjeeringhadfallensilent,she’dclenchedherbuttocks,thrustinghersexatthemlikeadeadlysaber.Panicked,they’dtoppledbackward.They’dscrambledtotheirfeetandfled,butevenasthey’dracedinretreatCharmhadkeptherskirtraisedandchargedthemwithherthrustingstrawberryblondepubichair,somuchliketheruffaroundthedevouringmouthofaferociousAfricanlion.Asiftoaddtothisimpressionsheemittedsnarlsandroarsasifthepussyitselfhadsuddenlyfounditsownsavagevoice.
Shastahadwitnessedtherouttakeplace.Theplayfulflirtingfollowedbytheassaultfromtheunbridledvagina.She’dwatchedCharmchasethelacrosseboysasfarasthefacultyparkinglot.Astheterrifiedyoungstershaddisappearedintothedistance,Shastahadriskedapproachingtheboldgirl.Agallikethat,eventhenrevertingbacktohernormalself,smoothingherskirtdownandreapplyingherpinklipgloss,thisgirlwouldbeafreethinker.She’dbeentheultimateinwhitebeauty,combingherlongblondehairandregardingtheworldthroughglacialblueeyes.Backthenshe’dbeenyoungandlithe,butthere’dalreadybeensomehintofthecrustyoldbroadaboutCharm.She’dnevershrinkfromachallenge.
Alonewithsuchagirl,Shastahadventuredtoask,“How’sitgoing?”Thetwogirlshadtheirmythologyincommon,butthatwasall.
ThepaleskinthatcoveredCharm’sclassicNordicfeatureshadflushedasifsuddenlyself-conscious.Perhapsshe,too,realizedthatherpelvicattackonthesillygaggleofharmlessteenshadbeenunnecessarilyharsh.“Hi,Shasta!”she’dstammered.
Shastadidn’tletslipthatshe’dobservedthegoings-onwiththerowdyteam.She’dcontinued,“HaveyouseenWalteraround?”
TheAryanbombshellhadcockedhersmallheadinconfusion.Anabundanceofstraight,goldenhairhadtumbledtothatside.“Walterwho?”askedthegirl.
HereatMaryhill,promenadinginthegardens,ShastahadtheearandtheheartofoneofCaucasia’smostpowerfulchieftains.Shemustbeabletooffersuchagirlsomeincentive.Iftheycouldstrikeabargain,perhapstheycouldbothbenefitfromShasta’slong-rangescheme.
Charlie,heremainedmute.Hemerelysurveyedhisrealm.Belowthisportionofthegardens,theterrainfellawaytofertile,fruitedplainsthatstretchedtothehorizon.Inthedistancesunburnedfieldwivesstoopedtotendtheyoungseedlings.Amongthebounty,Shastacouldrecognizewideswathsofdeliciousradishes...denselyplantedbushbeans...thetendrilsofcucumbervines.ThehardlifeofafieldwifewasanimprovementoverstarvinginthesettlementhousesofPortland,butitwasafarcryfromthestatusofpublicwifethatShastastoodtoachieve.Despitetheirlowlystation,morethanasmatteringoffieldwiveswieldedbigpregnanttummiesthathadtobeCharlie’sdoing.Hiskingdom,likethoseofanychieftain,consistedofonekingandhordesoffemaleworkers.Theoppositeofabeehiveortermitemound.
Inthesky,directlyoverheadaformationofjumbojetlinerswasescortingthelastoftheAsiangenotypesbacktotheirnativecontinent.Shastawatchedthemgowithdespair.Caucasiahadchosenhaggisoveryuxiangrousi.
Charliecontinuedhismuteoversightofthefields.Abreathtakingplantingofkohlrabilaybelowthem.Acomplicatedbeddingschemeofdwarfsunflowersseemedtobeturningtheirshaggyheadstofollowthesun.Tryingtoshareinhisadmirationoftheplentitudeofnutritiouscrops,Shastacontinuedtolookon.Onlythendidtherealityofthesituationstrikeher.Herarrivalhereatthis
spotatthisparticularmomentintimewasnoaccident.
AsthesuntickeditswayacrosstheblueCaucasiansky,eachsunflowertwisteditsbrightorangeface.Likeastadiumcrowdmovinginperfectunisontoperformthe“wave,”therowsofsunflowersgraduallycametofaceShasta.Lookingpastthethousandpregnantlaborers,beyondtheripeningkohlrabi,shecouldrecognizethesecretofthismoment.
AglanceatCharlieconfirmedhersuspicion.Afaintsmileflickeredonhislips.
Wherehiseyesfell,theemergingshadesoforangeformedapattern.Incontrasttothelighter,limegreenofordinaryproduce,thesunflowersbegantoformwords.
Emblazonedacrossamileofopencountry,legibleonlyfromthisloftyvantagepoint,thecropsturningtofacethemspelledoutthemessage:Charlie(heartshape)Shasta.
Whateveritwasthatenteredtheroom,itsskinglistened.Thecreatureshimmeredwithhazywavesofscent,thescentofeverycoconutintheworldsplitopen.Thestinkofpiñacoladasuncountable.Knottedshredsofredbandanagathereditswiryhairintoapparentlyrandomclumps,butthebulkofitsoilyfrizzburstfromitsheadinamasssodensethehairpusheditsearsforwarduntileachstuckoutlikethehandleonapitcher.
Itsbarefeetshuffledintotheparlor.Theyhoppedandcapered.WhatevermadeitswaytowardJamal,itloped.
Alengthofhempropeheldupitstatteredpants,andtheraggedcuffsfloppedagainstthefloor.Itadvancedacrosstheparlorinjerkingstrides,wavingitsarmsintornshirtsleevesandstretchingitspleatedturkeynecktogawkatthefurnitureandpaintings.InthismanneritcrossedthePersiancarpet,goggleeyedandsmackingitsrawlips.“Lawdy,”itcried,“datMizzJosafeennevahpermissionedmahtahenternopah-lor!”
Theapparitionheldoutitselbowsatshoulderheight,displayingsoiledwhitegloveswornontwiddlingfingers.Witheachstep,itjerkedeachkneesohigh,sofast,itmight’vebeenwadingthroughglue.Amusclespasmseemedtoseizeitsface,forcingtheeyessoopenthatawidemarginofwhitesshowedaroundeachiris.Theseeyesrollingineverydirection,whilethemouthyawnedtodisplaygleamingteethandthechinwaggedsidetoside,juttedforwardonemomentandthenextsunkbackintotheneck.
Thebarefeet,thescrawnylegsvisiblethroughrentsinthetrousers,theneckandfaceofthecreature,theywereallcoalblack.
Asthethingcaperedforward,Arabellalookedonfromherstationnearthedoorway.“MisterJamal,”shesaidflatly,hereyeslookingelsewhere,“thisisBarnabas.”Shesighedheavily.
Asoiledglovethrustitselfathim.Withswollen,crackedlips,theBarnabasthingsangout,“Eye’spleez’dtahmeet’cha,MassahJamal!Yahdonnohawmuch!DatMizzJosafeen,shewazadebilwomin!”
Jamalexchangedaglancewiththehousekeeper.Arabellashrugged.Sheliftedahandandidlyexaminedherfingernails.
Blackasoil,blackerthanwhatpeoplecalledblue-black,theBarnabasthingcontinuedtoprancesprylyinthecenteroftheroom.“Y,datdebilMizzJosafeen,shekeep’dmelok’dindahattackfahmosahmieholelie-f!”
JamalpuzzledthroughitsButterflyMcQueendiction.Helookedtothehousekeeperforatell,anycue,butshe’dburiedherfaceinbothhandstostiflealaugh.Clearly,whateverthenatureofthisdementedgollywog,thejokewasn’tonhim.Reluctantly,hebroughthisgazebacktothehead-bobbing,hip-shakinggrotesque.“Barnabas?”heasked.“CanyoutellmewhereMissJosephine’sgone?”
Theeye-rollingcreaturebroughtbothglovedhandsuptoframeitswrinkledface,andtrembled,asifcoweringinterror.“Shedohngawnskee-daddledtahCock-asia!”
Arabellaclearedherthroat.Winced.
Jamallookedherway.
“Barnabas,”shesaid,noddingtowardthecreature,“hasbeenlivinginyourattic,sir.He’sthenoiseyou’veheardnights.”
Thisnewswasn’tunwelcome.AsoflatelyafearhadbeguntotroubleJamal.Theideathathe’ddonehislife’sworktooearly.ByparticipatinginAdjustmentDayandrisingtothelofty,lifetimerankofaprinceofBlacktopia,hemight’vepeakedtooearly.Therewards,thismanse,thewealth,werepleasing,butastheTalbottbookdecreed:
Propertyisbuttheresidueoftrueaccomplishment.
AdjustmentDayhadn’tsettledhisspirit.Onthecontrary,thatachievementlefthissoulhungeringforgreaterchallenges.Fromhereonhewasdeterminedtolivealifeofdeedsinsteadofobjects.AstheTalbottbookdictated:
Onlytheimpossibleiseverworthdoing.
Nomanwho’dtakenpartinAdjustmentDay,whetherhenowbeaprinceorachieftain,tookanythingforgranted.Jamalknewfromtheforfeiturerecordsthattheowner,thisfabledMissJosephine,hadneversurrenderedthetitletothisproperty.NorecordexistedofherrelocatingtoorapplyingforcompensationfromCaucasia.Longandhard,helookedatthisjabbering,sprymonstrosity.Minustheburnthair,theragbagensemble,andimpossibleobsidianhueofitsskin,thishadtobeher.
Thehousekeeper’sheadshakingandsuppressedamusementconfirmedasmuch.
Theoldlady,clearlyderanged,shepuffedhercheeksandwhistledajigassheslappedtimeagainstherskinnythighsandboppedaroundtheelegantroom.
Thewhistlingandboppingceasedandthecreaturestoodbug-eyedbeforeatalloilpainting.TheportraitshowedawhiskeredmilitaryofficerinConfederategrays,bedeckedingoldbraid,aswordlashedtohisside.Aftermorethanacentury,hisblueeyesstillblazedwithresoluteness.Thecreaturesuckeditsteeth,duckeditshead,andsquintedsidewayswiththeatricalvenomatthepicture.“MassahJamal?”itsaid,“canahaxyahsum-tin?”Pokingwithonedirtywhiteindexfinger,itasked,“Izyahplan’ntahburndeezdebilpitchers?”
JamalmetArabella’ssurprisedlook,matchinghersingleraisedeyebrow.“Why,Barnabas,wouldyoulikemetoburnthem?”
TheBarnabascreaturebareditsgleaming,too-whiteteethandtentativelygrowledatthepainting.Whenthemaninthepicturedidn’tgrowlinreturn,Barnabasraisedonewhite-glovedfistandshookitattheofficer.“Ah’sbinprison’dindishowzmahholetimeahndisurth.”
Jamalstruggledtodeciphersuchgibberish.Everyutterancewasatest.
TheBarnabascreaturesquintedwithmenaceandpeeredaroundtheroom,pointedlytakinginthecrystalchandelier,therosewoodgrandpiano,themarblefireplaceandvelvetupholstery.Everytasselandbrassspittoon.Itpuffeditspigeonchestandflexeditschickenwingarmsasifreadytothrowpunches.“If’nyahaxme,”itmuttered,“ahthinksyahshoodberndawndahholehowz!”
Jamalleveledhisgazeonthepoorcreature.“Barnabas,”hesaid,“haveyouconsideredthatyouranimositywasthereasonMissJosephinenevertrustedyou?”Maybeitwastimetomovebeyondtheoff-the-rack,ready-to-wearpoliticalideologyofTalbott.Maybe,Jamalaskedhimself,heshouldholdontothisproblemtoseewhatinsightitmightyield?
Barnabasballedhisglovedfingersintofistsandtookaboxer’sstance.“WizeyahsidewidMizzJoe?”
Jamalwasn’tfazed.Fromwiggers,tothefilmTenstarringtheactressBoDerekwithherblondehairbraidedincornrows,towhite“trustifarian”youngpeoplewithdreadlocks,thisBarnabasseemedliketheinevitableresultofculturalappropriation.Anoldladywigger.ThelatestinaseriesofchemicallyenhancedSambotypes.Theracialequivalentofadragqueen’sbotchedversionofbeinganactualwoman.
JamalflashedonthefictionalcharacterD’orotheaWilsoninthemuch-belovedTalesoftheCitynovelsbyArmisteadMaupin.Asafailedfashionmodel,awhitewomannamedDorothyhadblackedupandbecomeasuccessful,highlysought-after“black”model.Sickle-cellanemiawasthepunchlineinabookadoredbymillions!That,andtheissueofSupermancomicstitled“IAmCurious(Black)”wheretheintrepidreporterLoisLaneusesadevicetotransformherselfintoafoxyblackwomanfortwenty-fourhours.Whethertheycalleditreportingorresearch,forwhitepeoplecrossingthecolorlinewasalwaysjustfunandgames.
Itmightevenprovetobeapathology.Likemultiplepersonalitydisorderorgenderdysmorphia.
PerHarvardpsychologyprofessorDr.JeremiahBrockyard,racialdysmorphiaortransracialismwasdemonstratedbytheactivistRachelDolezal,whoposedatbeingblack,andbythesingerMichaelJackson,whotookhugehealthriskstoappearmorewhite.AsSigmundFreudhadmadehiscareerwiththecasestudyofDora,Jamalmightjustaseasilyexploitthementalillnessofthisdementedwhiteladyforhisownfameandfortune.
Here,herewashisnextchallenge.Jamalraisedahandtosignalthehousekeeper.“Arabella,wouldyoubesokindastobringmyguestandmetwoextremelycoldmintjuleps?”
Ifthisapparitionwasthemanifestationofashattered,disassociatedpersonality,oritwassomeformofStockholmsyndromebroughtonbyfindingherselfanalieninherformernation,Jamaldidn’tventureaguess.Notyet.Itdawnedonhimthatthis,adventureslikethis,peopledbyflawed,damagedcharacters,werethestuffofbooks.InthisBarnabascreature,hisownbookmightbeborn.
Hiswouldbeabookwrittenbyablackmanaboutawhitewomanpretendingtobeablackman.Thetitlewroteitself.Hisliterarymasterpiece,hewouldcallitBlackLikeYou.
IntheseasonsthatfollowedAdjustmentDaythebeaverpopulationrebounded.Asthehumanpopulationseethedindisarray,citiesbecomingscenesoffamine,notjustbeavernumberssurged.Otter,bobcat,muskrat,andrabbitsallmadeacomeback.Minksandlynxandwolves.Astheweatherflushedthetoxinsfromtheenvironment,eventheapexpredatorssuchasbearsandpanthersrebounded.
Fur,furwaseverywhere.Consequentlyartificialfursemergedasthenewstatussymbols.Minusthenow-defunctpetrochemicalsupplychain,fakefurandleatherwererapidlybecomingextinct.Asstandinginventoryoffakefurswinkedout,nonewfakefursreplacedthem.
ThustoflaunthiswealthChieftainCharliediddonrobesofchartreuseleopardandrareacryliczebra.Hestruttedthecorridorsofhispalaceinknee-highbootsofendangeredNaugahyde.Hiscourtiersarrayedhimincapesoflimegreenfauxsableandfringedgauntletsofpleatherstuddedwithcostlyersatzpearls.ThuslyadornedhemountedthebattlementsofMaryhilltosurveytherichplantingsofsugarbeetsandsweetonions,thearabesquebeddingschemesofacornsquashandendive,thewealthofhiskingdom.
Shastahadtakenherleave,butsoonshewouldbecomehisconsort.Theywouldbewedthemomenthergenetictestingconfirmedherethnicity.
Avoicespoke.Charlieturnedfromthebattlementsandtheview,andhiseyesfelluponaliveriedfootman.Themanescortedayoungmaiden,ahomewifefromamongthestaffofscullerymaidsandchambermaids.Nobeautywasshe,butherloinsappearedsound.Henoddedhisapproval,andthefootmanescortedthegirlaway.Shewouldbewaitinginhisapartmentswhenhewasready.
Astinkhadbeguntosaturatethebasement.Thesourceofthereekwastheoldman’sbloodbecauseevenbloodsourslikemilk,andthestenchofdiscardedbloodhadgivenitsflavortoeverybreathWalterdrew.Blackflieshadcircled,circlingWalterandTalbott,circlingtheirhalf-eatenfoodinaconstantmiasma,asifthesmellitselfgeneratedalowhum.
Notthebestcustodianofhisownhygiene,Walterhadgivenshortshrifttotheneedsofhiselderlyward.Mealssattoolongatroomtemperature,thestinkoftheirdecayundetectableintheroom’soverallstink.TheresultbeingthatTalbott’stoiletinghadbecomesuddenandexplosive.WitheverytaintedinhaleWalterhadassuredhimselfthatpeoplehaddoneworseforafortune.Todate,everytaskTalbotthadsetwasatest.Thebigpicturewouldsoonsnapintosharpfocus.
Oncethelistwaspostedandhaddrawnitsfirstsubmissionsandvotes,Walterhadwaitedforthenextchallenge.Hisnewoldmanhadbeendozing.Hisheadhaddrooped,andhe’djerkedawakewithasinglebubblingsnort.Sputtering,hisheadlollingonhisthinneck,he’dmuttered,“Hypnagogicspasm.”
He’dgoneontoexplain.Betweenwakefulnessandsleep,peoplepassthroughthehypnagogicstate,aphasewhensleepwalkingoccurs.Alsocommonarehallucinations,visionsoftrippingoveranobstacleorfallingfromawindow,andthesleeperjerksawake.Thatsuddenawakening,sleepexpertscalleditthehypnagogicspasm.Anthropologists,accordingtoTalbott,believethatourevolutionaryancestorshaddevelopedthespasmtoguardagainstlosingtheirgriponbranchesorthefurofthemotherprimate.Ourvisionoffallingistheirvisionofplummetingtothejunglefloor,aterrorleftoverfrombeforewewereevenhuman.Talbotthadexpoundedontheconcept.He’dswallowedhardandlickedhisdrylips.Hischesthadrisenandfallenlikeabellows,swellingand
collapsingthelaceratedlittledirigibleofhisribcage.Notallthecorruptfoodhadbeenshatout,asdemonstratedbythevomitusthatspilleddowntheoldchinandclunginpaleclotstothegrayedchesthair.
“YouknowN.A.?”he’dasked.He’dmeantthetwelve-stepgroupforrecoveringdrugaddicts.NarcoticsAnonymous.He’dsaid,“Gothere.”
HerehadbeenthenextphaseofWalter’straining.Talbotthaddemanded,“Findmeonemanortwowithnothingtolose.”
Waltwastoheartheirstoriesandlistenformenwho’dgivenuponlife.Youngermen.Angryanddisillusionedmen.Talbotthadwantedrecruitswho’dturnedtodrugsbecausetheyweresmartandstrong,andthepresentworldofferedthemnooutletfortheirgifts.Thesewouldbemenwhohateddrugsbutwhohatedmoreasocietythathadleftthemnomeanstoachievethestatusthatallmencrave.
Walterwastopromisethemamilliondollars.Hewastopromisetomakeeachmanaprinceofthenewnewworld.Walterhadn’tlikedthesoundofthat,seeinghowhehadn’t,himself,gottenoneredcent.Tobidefortimehe’dpickedupabowlofcoldTopRamenandhadgivenitacursorysniff.He’dclosedthestepstowhereTalbottsatduct-tapedtothechair.Usingaspoonthatmanagedtofeelbothgreasyandsticky,he’dshovelednoodlesintothegapingoldmouth.
Histonguecrowdedwithfood,TalbotthadcitedtheAmericanCivilRightsMovementofthe1950sand’60s.Priortoitthedispossessedandpowerlesshadgonetochurchesforcomfort,andinthosethedisenfranchisedhaddiscoveredtheyweren’taloneintheirmisery.United,they’dformedanarmy,andthechurchleadershadrecognizedtheirpowerandledthosearmiesintobattle.
Chokingandsputtering,Talbotthadsaid,“Thosegroups...recoveryandsupportgroupsarethenewchurches.”He’dsaidthattraditionalplacesofworshiphadbeenreducedtocrasstheaterswherepeoplewenttosignaltheirstatusandvirtues.Atruechurchhadtoserveastheplacewherepeoplewentinsafetytoriskconfessingtheirworstselves.Nottoboastanddisplaytheirpride.Thosewhoattendedrecoverygroups,theyarriveddefeated.Theytoldthestoryoftheirfailure.Theirsinsandshortcomings.Toadmittheirculpability,andindoingsotheyreceiveacommunionwiththeirflawedpeers.Itwaswithintheseunlikelychurches,inthecompanyofthedrunkardandthedopefiend,thatWalterwouldfindtheofficersofhisnewarmy.Thegreatestarmiesintheworldaredestroyedbyidleness,Talbotthadargued.Withoutopportunity,themenWalterwouldbeenlisting,intheabsenceofanexternalenemyandabattle,theywerebecomingcasualtiesofthemselves.
WhatTalbottwastotellWalter,Walterwastopreachtothesemenhehimselfselected,andthosemenweretoventureforthtospreadthemessagetoasmallnumberofmen.Ifthosemenarequeer,beguilethemwithvisionsofGaysia,wheretheycouldliveintheirownhomogeneouscompany.Ifwhite,testifytothemaboutthefuturepossibleinCaucasia.Ifblack,offerupthepromiseofBlacktopia,wheretheyneedneverkowtowtoanyotherrace.
“Bringme,”Talbottdirected,“yourlearnedhelpless.”Hisvoicerosetoashout.“Thewretchedresultsofjobsoff-shored.Lendthese,thehopeless,diversity-vanquished,tome...”
WhereuponTalbotthadappearedtoswoon.Inlittlemorethanawhisper,he’duttered,“I’llfootthebill.Theworldisyours.”
Andonceagainhe’dfallenintoajerking,restless,fitfulslumberfilledwithprehistoricterrors.
AstheTalbottbookputit,thedisunitedstateshadalwaysbeenanationcomposedofnations.Somesovereign.Others,invisible.Parishes.Guilds.Associations.Chaptersandclubs.AfterAdjustmentDaythosethatwereself-sustainingsurvived.Butthosedependentonthelargesseofthevanishedgovernment,oronthefawningattentionofthevanquishedmedia,thosebrotherhoodsandalliancesceasedtoexist.
Thesamewentforfamilies.
Thetwobrothershadagreedtomeetforlunch.Tomeetforonelasttime.Abillboarddwarfedthesmallroadsidedineronwhoseroofitsat.Easilytwicethesizeoftheeatery,itsboldblackletteringread“WhitesOnly.”
Inside,thetwomensatinaboothbesidethefrontwindows.Theysatfacingeachotherlikeimperfectmirrorimages:thesamenose,thesameeyesandmouthandruffleofhair,bothleaningwithelbowsonthetable,buteachwithadifferentexpression.
Aserverwearingacheckeredginghamfrockandanapronwithscallopededgesstoodoverthem.Herpenpoisedaboveherpad,sherecited,“ThesoupdujourisPaulaDeenWhiteBeanStew...Forspecials,wehaveaRichardSpencereight-ouncewhitefishfiletandanall-white-meatLesterMaddoxChickenSalad...”
Oneofthebrothersnoticedherwaiting.“Giveusaminute,okay?”ThatwasEsteban.
Theotherbrothersaid,“We’llhavetwoPaulaDeenstostartwith.”ThiswasXavier.
Whentheserverhadsteppedaway,Estebanreachedintoapocketofhisjacketandtookoutahandfulofwhitepackets.Whiteplastic,littlepillowsnolargerthanBeforeTimescreditcards,heat-sealedalongallfouredges.Hetossedtheseintothecenteroftheemptytable.Inblackfelt-tippedpensomepacketsweremarkedwithalowercase“p”andsomewithalowercase“d.”Estebannoddedatthepackets,saying,“Youdon’thavetoemigrate.”
Xavierreachedtoexamineone.Hesqueezeditssoftnessbetweenathumbandindexfinger.
“They’reblackmarket,”Estebanexplained.“The‘d’standsfordrool.Squeezeoneintoyourmouthifyou’refacingaracialtest.It’slab-certifiedEuropean-derivedsaliva.”
Xavierpokedatapacketmarkedwitha“p.”Asking,“Andthese?”
“Piss.Foraurinalysis,”Estebansaid.“Don’tgetthemmixedup.”
Xavierpawedthroughthepackets.“Yourhandwritingispiojoso.”Dependingontheviewingangle,thep’sandd’swereidentical.
Undeterred,Estebansaid,“StayhereinCaucasiasowecanvisit.Ihavediplomaticimmunity.AsamemberofthefirstlineageIcantravelfreelybetweenallthreenationsformyjob.”
Hisbrotherregardedthepackets,turningthemasiftryingtodiscernwhichwaswhich.Thetwangofcountry-westernmusicplayedonthesoundsystem.Beyondthewindowsamixofmotorvehiclesandhorse-drawnwagonsmovedalongthehighwayinbothdirections.Fromthehighwayagreatexpanseofredcabbagefilledtheacresthatrolledtowardthehorizon.Lookingintothatdistance,Xavierasked,“Why’dyoudoit?”
Estebansquintedatthepackets.Heslidoneawayfromtherest,saying,“Ithink...thisoneispiss.”Heslidanotheraside,saying,“Butthisisdrool.Ithink.”Hestoppedhisfussing,abruptly.“Youhavenoidea,”hemuttered.Louder,hisvoicesteady,“Nationsarefoundedonreligions.They’refoundedonpoliticalsystems.Abstractideas.Whynotsomethingasrealandbasicassexualpreference?”
Xavierdidn’tofferarebuttal.Hisdufflebagsatslumpedontheseatbesidehim.
“Iwantedtohelp,”Estebancontinued,“tocreateonesafespacewherepeoplewouldn’tfeellikeoutcasts.”Aringinterrupted.Thesoundcamefrominsideapocketofhisjacket.Hetookouthisphoneandstudiedthescreen,saying,“Loftyaffairsofstatebeckon.”Hegottohisfeetandexitedtotheparkinglot.
“Twowhitebeanstews?”avoiceasked.ThewaitressslidtwobowlsontothetablewhereXavierstillwaited.SheglancedoutthewindowtowhereEstebanstoodtalkingonhisphone.Thebowls,brimmingwithsteamingmuck,hadpushedasideandhopelesslyscrambledthepoorlylabeledpackets.ShestoodwatchingEstebanoutside,asking,“Haven’tIseenhimontelevision?Ishesomebody?”Conspiratorially,sheasked,“Youknowifhe’smarriedornot?”
Xavierwatchedhisbrothergivingorders,mutedbythewindowglassandthebackgroundoftrafficnoise.Theserverwasn’tleaving.Smiling,heturnedtoherandasked,“Youknowyourmusicsucks?”
Evenassheturnedinahuff,hewasalreadytearingopenpackets.Itdidn’tmatter,p’sord’s.Withtheservergone,Xaviergotbusymixingallthelab-tested,European-derivedwhateverintohisbrother’sbowlofsoup.
ConsideringwhatTalbotthadsaid,theironyhadn’tbeenlostonWalter.Ifrecoverygroupswerethechurchesofthisera,theywerestillconductedintheoldchurchbuildings.AsChristianchurcheshadcommandeeredthetemplespreviouslydevotedtoApolloandDiana,thelocalchapterofNarcoticsAnonymousmetinthebasementofSt.Stephens.Intheabove-groundsanctuary,bathedincoloredsunshinefromstained-glasswindows,thegoodcitizensworetheirSundaybest.Theysanginthecorrectkeyinharmonyandrecitedtheirprayersinunison.Beneaththeirfeet,
underground,itwasanotherstory.
Awayfromthesunshine,aftersunsetanentirelydifferentcongregationshuffledin.Fragmented,solitary.Insteadofincense,thesmellofcigarettesmokewaftedoffthem.Inplaceofsacramentalwine,theydrankblackcoffeeandtookcommunionwithjellydoughnuts.
ItwasonlyhisexcitementaboutShastathathadgottenWalterintothechurchbasement,aboutseeingShasta’sfacewhensherealizedhewasrich.Talbotthadcoachedhimthatcreativevisualizationwouldn’tcutthemustard.WhenanoutfitlikeAmwaywantedtomotivaterookieenrollees,itencouragedthemtotestdriveMaseratisandAlfaRomeos.PeoplewereencouragedtoshopforGulfstreamjetsandcontactrealestateagentsfortoursofmansionsonfairwaysandprivatebeaches.Realdetailsmotivatedpeople.Thesmellofleatherseatsandthesoundofoceanwavesunderthebedroomwindows.Peopleneededtoknowthefinedetailsofthelifetheywerestrivingtoachieve.Vaguegoalssuchasgoodhealthormoneyweretoodifficulttomeasure.Theabstractdoesn’texcitethespirit.Butthesoftnessandwarmthofasablecoat.Ortheglowofadiamondnecklace.Thesilkyfeeloftheperfectsaltwaterswimmingpool.Thesemotivate.AndsoWalterhadpicturedShastaaboardthesailboatinSanFranciscoBay,andheaddedthescentofhersuntanlotionandthetasteoftheChateauLafite,1869they’ddrink.Somedaythey’dnibblebelugawhitecaviarandlaughaboutthemeasuresWalterhadtakentomakehisfortune,aboutflayingTalbottwithrazorsandpostingthelistandinvadingNarcoticsAnonymousinsearchofconverts.BolsteredbythesespecificsWalterhadventuredintothenetherworldofthisnewreligion.
There,parishionershadarriveddraggingtheircrimes.WithnameslikeClemandT.J.andKeishaun.Wearingbusinesssuits,wearingtracksuitsorstainedcoveralls,they’dwaitedtheirturns,menandwomen,tomaketheirfullconfessions.There,awayfromtheworld,eachhadgivenanaccountofhisorherworstbehaviorandhadresolvedtodobetter.
Towhomtooffertheworld?Whichmantoradicalize?Walterhadlistened,weighingtheout-of-workveteranagainstthebaristastrugglingthroughbeautyschool.Talbotthadwarnedhim.Thewhiteswouldblametheblacks.Thegayswouldblamethestraights.Theblackswouldblamethewhites.AndeveryonewouldblametheJews.Walterhadwaitedaseverypersonhadhisorhersay.Talbotthadtoldhimexactlywhattosayandhadforcedhimtorepeatthewordsuntilhe’dknownthembyheart.Wheneveryonehadspoken,ithadbeenhisturn.AndonlywhenalleyeshadfallenuponhimhadWaltersaidhispiece.
“MynameisWalter,”he’dsaid.Anotherday,anothertest.He’dimaginedthesmellofShasta’sterrorasshestoodkissinghiminahousehesecretlyowned.Beforethegroupcouldstophim,he’dannounced,“I’mlookingtorecruitmenwho’druletheworldinlessthanayear.”Acollectivegroanwentupaspeoplehadscoffedandshooktheirheads.“Anyoneinterestedinbeingafoundingmemberofanewrulingclass,pleaseseemeoutside.”AndWalterhadstoodup,andhe’dexcusedhimself,andhe’dsteppedoutthedoor,walkedupthestairs,andhe’dwaitedinthealleyforaheroorafoolorfornoonetofollowhim.
Charmflippedthroughthepagesofacookbook,passingovertherecipesbutlingeringonfull-colorphotographsofLobsterNewbergandWaldorfsalad.Shestudiedcannelloni,feelinghermouthfillwithsaliva.Sheogledbokchoytothepointshemighthavetoswallow,thenrushedtothekitchen.
Hermotherstoodoverthestovestirringsomethinginafryingpan.Sheworeawimple.Awimple!Shewassowhiteherlipsstretchedasthinaspinkrubberbands.Gavynwastheluckyone.Shasta,too.ShastashouldjustsurrenderforexporttoBlacktopia.Charmandherparentsweretrapped,condemnedtothepatriarchal,gun-totingRenaissanceFairethatwasCaucasia.Hermotherlookedupfromhercookingandsaid,“Hello,dear.”
Charmasked,“Beer?It’searly.”
Hermotherwassippingfromatallmugofamberliquid.“This?”sheasked,offeringthemug.“It’surine.Preventscancers.Blackpeopleswearbyit.”
Charmhummedaresponse.Hermouthwastoofullofspittoriskwords.Sheopenedtherefrigeratorandtookoutaplastictub.Hand-letteredonthesnap-tightlidwasthewarning:HandsOff!Charm’sDrool!Shepeeledoffthelidandtippedherfaceoverthetub.Athick,cloudyliquidsloshedinside,andshehawkedanastyloogieintothemess.
Hermotherwinced.“Disgusting.”Shetippedbackanotherswigofmedicinalurine.
Charmspatagainandsnappedthelidonthetub.She’dbeenatthisforacoupledaysandthetubstillfeltempty.“Sciencefair,”shesaid.“Pavlov’sdog.”
Hermotherleveledaworriedlookather.“Youknowscienceisoff-limits.”
Themoratorium,shemeant.ThebigpushtogetanyoneintoSTEMcareerswasdead.Theedictwasthatwhitepeopleweresupposedtobebreedinginsteadofreading.Assheclosedthefridge,Charmtriedtochangethesubject.“I’vebeenthinkingaboutGavyn.”
Hermother’sbrowpinched.Shefeignedconfusion,asking,“Who?”
“Yourson.”Charmwenttothesinkandfilledatallglasswithwater.Allherspittinghadtakenitstoll.
Hermothersighedasdeeplyasthelacingsofherbodicewouldallow.“Wehavenoson,”shesaid.“Youhavenobrother.”
Asshedrankthewater,Charmweighedthestatement.Washermothercruelorjustbeingarealist?OnceGavynhademigrateditwasunlikelythey’deverhavecontactwithhim.ThebesttheycouldhopeforwouldbeasurrogatesonordaughterexportedbysimilarlydisappointedparentsinGaysia.Toomanyparentstookoffense.IftheirchildrenreachedtheAgeofDeclaration,eighteen,andannouncedaninappropriatesexuality,itlookedlikebetrayal.CharmknewherownparentshadaskedGavyntopostponehisdeclaration.Peoplecouldwaituntiltheywerenineteen,anddelayinghisannouncementwould’vegiventhemtwomoreyearstogetherasafamily.ButGavyn,he’dfiledhispaperwork.He’dknownwhathewanted.Hewantedtogetthehellout.
Hermotherdidn’tmeethergazebutcontinuedtostir,saying,“Youknowyoucan’tgooutdoorslikethat.”Whateverwasinthepan,ithissedandspat.
Shemeantbare-headed.WomenofCaucasiawererequiredtocovertheirheadsinpublic.Anothermeasureintendedtoinstillethnicunity.Hencethewimple.FrenchTudorcapsweretemptingfate;agirlmightaswellsashayaroundtopless.Snoods?Forgetit.Charmknewherparentshadalreadylostonechild.Godforbidtheirremainingchildgetbouncedintoaheretic’sworkfarmorwhatever.
Theschoolhadcalledtoday.Theprincipalwasthreateningexpulsion.Hermotherpinchedupsomesaltfromabowlandsprinkleditintohercooking.Shesaid,“Theyclaimyouchasedmoreboyswithyourexposedladyparts.”Usingbothhands,shetwistedapeppermill.“Thoseyoungmenwereawfullyshakenup.”
Charmsmiledatthememory.She’dpanickedthevarsitybasketballteamduringpractice.Byleapingoutofthegirl’slockerroomwithnopantson,she’dstampededacrewofalphamalesoutthroughthefireexits.Alarmshadsounded.Asfeministpowermomentswentitfeltprettyglorious.
Shewasalreadytryingtoworkupanewmouthfulofspit.“YouthinkGavynmightbeintrouble?”WhatshemeantwasthatthenationofGaysiahadonlyrecentlylauncheditsprogramtoreproduceexports.ItwouldbeseventeenyearsbeforeityieldedanyheterosexualswhocouldbetradedforthehomosexualsstockpiledinCaucasiaandBlacktopia.AtthatrateGavynmightbethirty-fourorthirty-fivebeforehestoodachanceofemigrating.Ofcourse,somedo-goodersmightraisethehalfmillionTalbottdollarsneededtoransomhim,buttheoddsseemedslim.Notforalloftheteenagersinretentioncamps.
Allthewhiletheheterosexualnationstateswouldalreadyhavebabiesinthepipeline,andoverthenextseventeenyearsasmallarmyofqueerexportswasgoingtogetbottleneckedattheretentioncamps.Straightfolkshadahistory-longheadstartatthebaby-makinggame.
Ashermouthfilled,Charmwatchedhermotherandtriednottoswalloworspeak.
Currentlynationsconductedamodestback-and-forthtradeinbabiesbornwithamajorityofCaucasianorsub-SaharanDNA,buteveryoneknewtherealbonanzawouldbeintheexportofmis-bornqueercitizens.Thatwasthenewterm:mis-born.Itdenotedanyonebornandraisedinaninappropriatenationstate.
Furthermore,whoknewifGaysiawouldprioritizetheyoungestexports?Otherwisemoregenerationswouldspendtheiryouthwaitingtoberepatriated.IfyoungerexportsweregivenprioritythenGavyncouldspendhisentirelifetrappedinlimbobetweentwonations.
Hislettersdidn’tsayasmuch,butGavynhimselfhadstoppedwritingabouthishighhopes.Whereasheusedtowriteaboutfindinglove,settlingdown,andbecomingaforcetohelpbuildhisnewqueernation...latelyhe’dtakentocomplainingaboutthecampfood.Itwaslousy.Starchybeefstews.Wateryvegetablesoup.Thesamewaythatillnessbecamethechieftopicamongtheelderly,Charmknewthatfoodwasthemainpreoccupationofpeopleinprisons.
Noneofthisshementionedaloud.Shejustwatchedhermotherstir.Itwasfriedchicken,thegreasepopping.Potatoesboiledinapot.Dinnerrollswerebakingintheoven,andthebutterhadalreadybeensetoutonthecountertoptosoftenatroomtemperature.
Hermotherreachedupandpressedaswitch.Thehoodabovethestovebegantohum,andthesteamfromthefrypanspiraledupwardsanddisappeared.
Thesmell,somuchfatandmeat,theparmesancheesesheknewwouldbemixedintothecornmealbreading,thearomafloodedCharm’smouthwithnewsaliva.Inanotherminuteshe’dneedtoopenthefridgeagain.Herbrotherwasahostage,andthefastershefilledthatplastictubwithspitthesoonershemightliberatehim.
Thecallersweren’tClemorKeishaunbuttheyspokewiththesamebrusqueeconomyofwords,demanding,“GetTalbott.”OnthoseoccasionsWalterhadclippedahands-freephonetoTalbott’sscabbedheadandhadretreatedfromtheroom.AtTalbott’surginghe’dbeguntotypehisnotesintoasinglecomprehensivedocument.Towhatend,Walterhadn’taguess.Itmight’vebeenabookinprogress.Oritmight’vebeenjustanewtest.Beginningwiththefirsttest,flayinghisnewoldmaninsearchofamake-believehomingdevice,keyboardinghisnoteswasawalkinthepark.
Themenhe’denrolled,Walterhadonlybeenabletospeculateabout.Thetwoheroinaddicts.Theymightbetoolingaround,livinglargeonTalbott’sdime.TheymightevenbespreadingthegospelofTalbotttotheirfellowjunkiesinsupportgroupsacrossthecountry.Notimpossiblewastheideathatanetworkofdesperatemenwasbranchingandspreadingouttocoverthenation.Or,thosetwomenmightbedead.
NothingaboutTalbott’sdisappearancehadeversurfacedonthenewssites.Again,itwaspurespeculation,butthepolicemight’vekepttheentiresituationunderwrapspendingtheirinvestigation.Thatsaid,theFBImight’vebeenclosinginatanymoment,stakedoutdowntheblock,readytobatterdownthefrontdoor.Walterhadkepttyping.
Talbott’sshoutshadsummonedhim.Theoldmanhadsaid,“Youneedtomakethecallwetalkedabout.”Walterwenttotakethephoneofftheold,spottedscalp.Leakage,dropsofbloodswellingfromoldwoundshadglueditinplacesoeffectivelytheearcliphardlyseemednecessary.ThegruesometruthwasthatWalterhadtopeelthephoneoffthestretching,saggingoldskin,andeventhentheblackplasticwasspeckledwithtackysmudgesandcrustyscabs.SomuchsothatWalterhadbeencompelledtoscrubitwithanantibioticwetwipe.AllthewhileTalbotthadharanguedhim.
“Tellthemthecode,”he’dgrousedfromhischair.“Don’tkeeptheconnectionopenlongerthanoneminute.”
Walterhadsniffedthephone.Ithadsmelledlikenothingbutrubbingalcohol.He’dpunchedinthenumberhe’dlearnedbyheart.
Avoicehadanswered,awoman’svoice,“SenatorDaniels’soffice.”
Walterhadeyedtheoldmanwhilesaying,“I’mcallingonbehalfof—”
Thevoicehadcuthimoff.“Thesenator’sinameeting.”
“Tenseconds,”shoutedTalbott.
Walterhadtakenthenuclearoption.“Thisisacode4C247M.”Theconnectionhadgonesilentforaninstantbeforeaboomingmalevoicehadcomeon.
“Thisisthesenator,”thevoicehadannounced.
“Yes.”WalterhadgoneonwatchingTalbottforanysignsofapprovalordisapproval.“YouneedtointroducetheWarResolutionsAct.”
Talbotthadexplainedthesituation.Howtheyouthbulgeofsurplusmalesthreatenedtodestabilizethiscountryaswellasanynumberofforeignnations.Theactwouldcatalyzetheinductionofamillionyoungmenintothemilitary,andthesemenwouldbepittedagainstequalforcesconscriptedinothercountries.Itwasn’tlostonWalterthatwhenevereventsintheworldwentsouthitwasalwaysmenhisagewho’dbedispatchedtocleanupthemess.Walterhadtoldthesenator,“Mr.Talbottwouldlikethewartocommencenolaterthantheopeningdayofgrousehunting.”
“Ofcourse,”thesenatorhadsaid.UnlessWalterhadbeenmistaken,themanhadbeenpantingforbreathasifhe’dsprintedtoreachthephone.
Talbotthadexplainedthataworldwarwouldreducethesurplusoflabor.Theglobalmanufacturingmarketswouldexplodewithgrowth.Finally,Walterhadimaginedhecouldseesomebigmoneyattheendofthisverylongtunnel.He’dtoldthesenator,“Mr.Talbottsendshisbestwishestoyourwife.”
“Ofcourse,”thesenatorhadsaid.
“Thirtyseconds,”hadbarkedTalbottfromhischair.
Tipsywithpower,Walterhadbaitedthemanonthephone.“HowisMrs.Senator?”
Thesenatorhadhesitated.“She’sfine,sir.”
TodateWalterhadneverbeenaddressedas“sir,”anditfeltsurprisinglygood.Beforehecouldlosehisnerve,he’dgivenShasta’sfullnameandaskedthesenatortoexpungeherparkingtickets.
“Oneminute,”Talbotthadsnapped,“hangup!”
AsonelastmockinggibeWalterhadasked,“Senator,whenisgrousehuntingseason?”
Hisvoicereedywithstress,thesenatorhadasked,“Thisyear?”
“Thisyear,”Walterhadconfirmed.
“ItbeginsonedayaftertheonsetofWorldWarIII,”hadsaidthesenator,adding,“sir.”
Onlythen,withthetestcomplete,withTalbottglaringbulletsathim,takinghisownsweettime,didWalterhangup.
OneeveningstoodoutamongthemanyJamalspenttippingbackmintjulepsandtryingtostudythecreature.Initsindigo-blackhidehecoulddiscerntracesoftheagedbellewho’dburntherhairtoafrizzedmessanddailystrutteddownfromtheattic,high-steppingandanimatedwithBojanglesjazzhandsandleeringminstrelshowfaces.Timesthecreaturewoulddropitsactandreminisceaboutthepeopledepictedintheportraits.Thosetimes,theshuckandjiveerasedbygin,thecreaturewouldholdforthaboutthecemeterythatlayonthefarsideofthefield.Jamalwouldtouramongthegravestones,bigandsmall,andthecreaturewouldnarrateaboutthelivesofoneandall.
Examiningeachgraveclosely,JamalaskediftherewasoneforawomannamedBelinda.
“Datbeezindahslay-vahsex-shun,”saidBarnabas.Thecreaturewalkedtoawoodedareaoutsidethefamilygraves.There,amongtherustedcrossesandsunkengravesites,Jamalfoundasmallstone,thewhitemarbleerodedbyrain.Onlythename“Belinda”waslegible.
OnotheroccasionsthecreaturewouldfallsilentandJamalwouldreadaloudfromtheTalbottbook.Thatgospelofthenewnewworld.Intheparlor,withafirecracklingonthehearthhe’dread:
Welovetofightbuthatetowin.Wechallengeauthority,createconflict,andpitourselvesagainstpowernotbecausewewanttodominate,becauseweknowtriumphonlymeansmorefighting.Welovetofightbecauseweknowthatwhateverirresistibleforcefinallydefeatsus,wecanrejoiceand
recognizethatenemyasGod.
He’dnoticedhowwhenthecreaturewasdrunkandplayingafool,itseemedtoexperiencegenuinejoy.Itraiseditscrackedvoicetobeltoutoldspirituals.Jamalobservedthiswithamixtureofpityandfascination.Thisstruttingclown.Ithadmanifestedasahaunt.Thespiritofthisforlornplace.ThesightbroughttomindmorefromTalbott:
Towhitesthemostenviablequalityofblackswastheircapacityforhappiness.Theyexhibitedagracefuldeterminationandgoodnaturethatwhitescouldonlycovet.Overcenturiesofpersecution
blackshadevolvedanenviablespiritandinnerdelight.Toruinthatjoy,whitescreatedthegrievanceindustryandpoisonedblackhappinessbyreplacingitwithrageandhatred.Bysowinginsecurity,whiteshavedestroyedthegreatestpowerblacksonceenjoyed.Byteachingblackstotakeoffense,whiteshavesucceededincursingblackswithamiseryfargreaterthananywhite
unhappiness.
Asitslumpedinaredvelvetchair,thecreatureblinkedsurprisedeyes.Itsmackeditsswollenlipsandasked,“MassahJamal,datbook...doitreelysaydat?”
Jamalnodded.
Thecreaturenoddedinreturn.“Itsoun’rite.”Lostinthought,theoldeyesstudiedtheirownreflectioninthepolishedsideofthesilverjulepmug.“MassahJamal?”itasked,“Duzyahbuh-leevesinGot?”
Jamalwasalittleloaded.Heanswered,“IlovewhatGodcreates,butIadmitIdon’tgivehimthecredit.”Leaningclosertothecreatureheadded,conspiratorially,“IfI’dsaidprayershalfasmanytimesasI’vebeenonlinelookingforporn,I’dbesaved.Nodoubtaboutit.”Hesmiledroguishly,“IonlywishIlovedGodhalfasmuchasIlovesomeofhisbeautiful,beautifulcreations.”
Whateveritwas,thecreatureseemedtounderstand.Justthenitcould’vebeenwhatitwas:anoldwhitewomaninblackfaceafraidofbeingturnedoutofherancestralhome.Seeingthecreature’sfacesoften,atruthstruckJamal.Hisworstfearwasthatthestooped,freakishgnomewouldresolveitself.Itwouldrevertbacktoafrightenedoldlady.Thewomanwouldleavethishouseandtakewithheritshistory.Hisconcernwasaboutmorethanwritinghisbook.Jamalwouldbealoneinhispower,akinginacastlebutwithoutthisridiculousjester.Thiscaperingludicrousbuffoonwastheonlypersoninhisnewlifehefeltcomfortablearound.
He’dneveranticipatedthatpowerwouldbethislonely.
Noonewouldeverbelievethewordofthisfool,sohecouldconfessanysecrettoit.Howbadlyheneededthislunaticashisconfidant,itscaredhim.Hewonderedwhoneededwhommore.
Tostemthemoment,thekingreachedtoapitcherthatsatsweatingonasidetable.Withoutbeingasked,hepouredthecreature’sdrinkfull.
Deliciouspouredherselfanotherglassofwine.Itwassafertolookdrunkthantolookscared.Thepolicewouldn’tarrestatipsywoman,butthey’dfollowsomeonewhosmiledfurtivelyandwalkeddownthestreettoofast,stayingintheshadowsandlookingawaywhenpassingheadlightsrevealedherface.Shecheckedhermakeupinthebathroommirrorandtouchedasmudgeoflipstickoffonefronttooth.Aknockcameatthedoor.
“Justasec,”shesaid.Herwineglasssatontheledgebesidethebathtub,nexttotheemptywinebottle.Perfume,shealmostforgot.Adabbehindherknees,adabbehindeachear.Shedownedtheglassofwine,thenreachedupunderhershortskirtandwiggledthepantiesdownherthighsandtossedthemintotheclotheshamper.Alastlookinthemirrorgaveherconfidence.Asdidthewine.
Openingthebathroomdoor,Delicioussaid,“Allyours.”
WaitinginthehallwaywasFelix.HewasBelle’sboybyherhusband,notthatGaysianlawwouldrecognizesuchaunion.NowadaysDelicious’sman,Gentry,wasplayinghousewithJarvis,justasDelicioushadwedBelleinagrandpublicceremonyinthestupendousCathedralofHarveyMilkwithareleaseofhundredsofwhitedovesandatwenty-four-pieceorchestraatthereception.Felixhadservedasringbearer.Felixknewwhatwasatstake.
Oneslip-up,andanyoneofthemmightbedetainedasanexport.They’dbeplacedinaretentioncenterandeventuallyrelocatedtoBlacktopiaorCaucasia,nevertobereunitedwithhisorherbeloved.Tomakemattersworse,nowtheyhadFelixtoworryabout.Hewasn’tlikeotherboys.AtanagewhenheoughttobelipsynchingtovintageGloriaGaynormixes,hewasstaringatadtoolongatthescadsofwomentheypassedinthestreet.Hedidn’tseemtheleastbitinterestedindatingotherboys,anditworriedhismother.Sheinsistedhewasmerelygoingthroughaphase.WeeksshyofhisAgeofDeclaration,shebeggedhimnottoopenlyflaunthisheterosexuality.Attheleast,suchriskybehaviorwouldgethimbashedbyself-righteousthugs.Atworst,he’dbedeported.Thatwouldbethelasteitherofhisparentswouldseteyesonhim.
FelixgaveDeliciousasmirk.“Don’tyoulookhot,”hesaid,hiseyestakinginhersmoothlegs,herfeetwedgedinhighheels,herhemlinehighandhernecklinelow.Hesmiledhisapprovalathernewweaveandthesmudgeofglitterinhercleavage.“Datenight?”Henoddedattheemptywinebottleinoneofherhands,theemptyglassinherother,herlongmanicuredfingernails.
Itwas.Datenight,thatis,butnotwithhismother,Belle.
Deliciousignoredtheboy’sleerandpushedpasthim.“Don’tyouhaveacirclejerktoattend?”
“Nope.”Heshookhishead.“Wehadabigspermdriveatschooltoday.”
Deliciousknewhewasn’tkiddingbutdidn’thankertohearthedetails.Shetookherpurseoffthefoyertableandcheckedinside.Acertifiedletterhadarrivedthatafternoon.Withitsafelyinsideherpursesheheadedfortheapartment’sfrontdoor,saying,“Tellyourmomnottowaitup.”
Felixwasnobody’sfool.Heknewthelayoftheland,callingout,“Don’tgetbusted!”
Onthestreet,Deliciousstrodethroughthenight.Sherelaxedinthewarmairandallowedherhipstoroll,pushingherskirthigherthewidershestepped.Bystanders,mannishtypeswolfwhistledtheirpraise.Flannel-outfittedfemalesgrowledcomplimentsinherwake.Apolicecarpulledalongsideandmatchedherspeed,andshedarednotlookinitsdirection.Despitethewine,sheknewthefearwouldshowinhereyes.Shecouldheartheradiochatter.Agenerationseemedtopassbeforethecruiserswitchedonitsflashinglights.HereandnowDeliciousknewshewascaught.Herimaginationspunthescenario:TheGaysianpolicehadstakedoutherapartment,they’dbeenmonitoringhermovements,she’dbedeported.
Thered-and-bluelightswashedoverher.Thecar’ssirenwailed.Tiresbarkedagainstthepavementandthecruiserjettedoffinresponsetoanothercall.
Herlegsweakwithterror,Deliciousstumbledthroughadark,unmarkeddoorway.Itwasadive.Pre-AdjustmentDayskinmagazines,dog-eared,wiltinginwireracks,depictedhealthyall-maleandall-femalesexacts.ThecoversboretitleslikeSapphicClamDiggersandGreekButtPirates.Noonewantedthesevintagewankmagsfromsomebygonediscoera.Theseweresetdressing.Afront.
Abroodingskeletonofamansatonastoolbehindacounter.ShepaidhimafewTalbottdollarsforahandfulofmetaltokens.Secretedbehindthemagazineracks,hiddeninbackofthedustyglasscasesdisplayingpinkdildosandVHStapes,thereacurtaineddoorwayopenedontoadimcorridor.Deliciouspartedthestifffabricandsteppedthrough.Thesmellofsexwaspungent,andshestoodinoneplacewhilehereyesadjustedtothedark.Herfootstepsonthestickyfloormadepeelingsounds.Thisplace,thetawdryunderbellyofGaysia,herepeopleindulgedtheirillegalappetites.
Swimminginmurkyblacklight,thenumbersfourandsevenandthirteenseemedtohoverbeforehereyesbeforesherealizedtheyweresplashedoninastrokeortwooffluorescentpinkpaint.Theseandothernumberswerespacedatregularintervals,eachmarkingapeeling,splintereddoor.Movementcaughtherattention.Ablondman,histeethglowing,said,“Hey,chocolatelady...”
Menandwomen,blackseekingwhite,whiteseekingblack,allheterosexuals,allillegal,theylinedthedingyhallway,someexposingthemselvesinthehopeofenticingasexpartner.
Sheliftedahandandflashedhimherweddingring.
Heflashedhisown.
Shecontinuedalonginthatrank,crowdedspace.Splinteringdoorsopenedontocloset-sizedcubiclesinwhichsame-sexadultfilmsflickeredonstreakedvideoscreens.DeliciouschoseadoorbearingthenumberteninDay-Glopaint.Usedcondomslitteredthefloor.Condomsorworsestuckherheelstothefloor,tuggingtopulltheshoesfromherbarefeet.Aplasticchair,layeredwithcorruption,stoodinonecorner,andsheconsideredsittingbeforerememberingsheworenothingunderherskirttoprotecther.Shesteppedinsideandshutthedoorbehindher.
Thevideoscreenglowedwithtwoastonishinglyattractivemen,oneblack,onewhite,copulatingromanticallybesidealuxuriousswimmingpooloutsideofaregalmansion.InGaysiaraceminglingwaspermitted.Butgendermixingwasnot.
Aknockcameatthedoor,andamalevoicewhispered,“Hey,chocolatelady...”
Irked,Deliciouscrackedthedoor,readytocursesomeamorousstranger.
Inthedarkcorridorstoodastoopedfigure.Notthehandsomestrangerwho’daccostedherearlier,thismanwasfamiliar.Shegrabbedhimaroundonethin,palewristanddraggedhimintothecubicle.Oncetheywerebothinsidesheshutthedoorandblockeditbywedgingthefilthychairbeneaththeknob.Everysurfaceshetouchedfelteitherstickyorgreasy,andshewipedherhandsonherskirt.Eventhenhermouthwasseekingouttheman’s.Herhipsweregrindingintohis.Hishandswererovingoverher,slidingupherlegstodiscoverherwetreadiness.
Withoutprompting,herkneesbuckledandshesquattedlow.Herhandsfoughttoyankhisslacksdownhisslimhips,andherlipssoughttheopeninginhisboxershorts.Herlushmouthdidn’tgiveathoughttorepercussionsbeforetheywerecommittingoneofthemostheinouscrimesknowninGaysia.
Theresultshould’vebeenimmediate,buthismanhoodfailedtorespond.Sheworkeditwithherhandsoshecouldask,“Gentry,baby?”
Herhusbandgroanedsoftly.“Ican’t.”
Deliciousspatonherhandandkeptatit.“What’sup,baby?”
Highaboveher,Gentry’sfacewasshadowedandindistinct.“Wehadanextraspermdriveatworktoday.”
HewasreferringtothecollectionofviablespermfromallmalecitizensofGaysia.Itwasvoluntary,butnot.Notreally.Upstandingcitizenswereexpectedtodonatemassiveamountsofsementowardtheefforttoreproducechildren,thevastmajorityofwhichwouldbeexportedinordertoobtainthehomosexualsbeingretainedinCaucasiaandBlacktopia.Thephysicaldemandsofthesespermdriveshadallbuteradicatedrecreationalmalesex.Andthosemenwhocouldn’tmeettheirquotaorwhoseseedwassubpar,theywerecompelledtodonatemoneytowardthefundforransomingnewcitizens.ThesurvivalofGaysiadependedonthiseffort.
Deliciousgraspedthedismalsituation.HerGentryhaddonehisdutythricetoday.Hewasspent.
WhereasmeninGaysiawerecompelledtodonate,thewomenweren’twithouttheirownresponsibilitiestoensurethefutureofthenation.Throughouthistorymenhadbeenconscriptedtoperformmilitaryservice.They’dsurrenderedtheirbodiesandtheirlivestothestate.Inkeepingwiththisprecedent,nowwomenweredrafted.Ifselectedandsuitable,afemalecitizenofGaysiamustagreetoinsemination.Donatedseedwouldbeusedtocreateanewlife,andthewomanwouldcarryit.Allfertilewomenwereeligible,andnothingshortofamedicalemergencycouldexcusesomeonefromhermaternityservice.
Theresultingchildrenwerelargelyforexport,buttheywouldberaiseduntiltheAgeofDeclaration.Exportedornot,eachwouldequatetoanewcitizen.
ThatwasthereasonDelicioushadshavedherlegs.Themotivationforhertoriskherfreedom,tosneakdowntothis,thiswallowofdegradation.Squattingthere,sheworkedGentrywithbothherhandsandhermouth,buttonoavail.Nomatterhowbadlyshewantedtogetpregnant,tobearhischild,thatwasn’tgoingtohappentonight.Resigned,shereachedtowhereshe’dsetherpurseonthefoulfloor.Fromit,sheretrievedtheletterthathadarrivedthissameday.Gentryhelpedhertoherfeet,andshehandedhimtheenvelope.Thegovernmentknewshehadit.She’dbeenrequiredtosignforit.
Inthefaintlightfromthevideoscreen,herhusbandunfoldedthepaperandsquintedtoreadit.Onthescreen,inwhatwasclearlyapre-AdjustmentDayfilm,thetwomenwerehappilyejaculatinguponeachother’ssmilingfaces.Deliciouswatchedthisanointment,thinking,Whatawaste!
Gentrylookedather,hisbrowfurrowedinconfusion.“What’sthismean?”
Delicioustriedtosoundchipper.“I’vebeendrafted.”
Hecockedhishead.“What’sthatmean,‘drafted’?”Ifhedidn’tunderstanditwasbecausehedidn’twantto.
Accordingtothenotice,Deliciouswastosubmitforartificialinseminationwithintwenty-fourhours.Afterevadingthepolice,aftershe’dventuredintothissinkholeofdepravity,thecombinationofwineandfearfinallyhither.Unlessshecouldcoaxherhusbandtoloveher,she’dsoonbecarryingastranger’schild.Franticallyweeping,sheallowedherfallingtearstowethersmoothpalms,andDeliciousredoubledherhopelessefforttoarouseherbeloved’sflaccidmember.
Totheworldtheylookedliketwoplasticpacketsofketchupfromanyfastfoodrestaurant.Theirtemperaturegavetheonlyhintoftheirtruenature.That,andeachpacket,uponcloserinspection,provedtobetamperedwith.Oneedgeofeachhadbeencutopenandgluedshut,notheatsealedastheotheredges,butglued.
Thebiggergiveawaywasthattheyfeltlikeice.SocoldShastahadtosqueezethemgentlyinherfists,squeezingandreleasingthem,untiltheirthickplasticandsharpedgesfeltpliable.
ThegreatreceptionchambersofCharlie’spalacebustledwithcourtlife.Silksandtaffetassweptthegleamingwoodfloors,andruddyjewelsflashedinthesunlightfromtallwindows.Strollingtroubadoursstrummedlutesinanefforttolightenthegeneralmood.Thecourtphysicianhadbeensummoned,andallwaitedaboutinbatedconversation.AroundShastamilledtheformidablewivesofotherchieftains,theirpublicwives,adornedinthebootyplunderedfrommanyamuseumorgallery.Noneamongthemhadanyroyaltrainingbeyondservingasqueenofahomecomingdanceorseniorprom.Theyweretheprettiestputforwardbytheirsettlements.ChieftainBrachhadtakenashisfavoriteanimpoverishedyoungladyfromtheruinsofSeattle.Althoughheownedfieldwives
andhouseholdwivesaplenty,onlyCharliehadyettoclaimapublicwife.
Apassingfootmanofferedatrayofgrilledpeacocktongues.Shastaselectedone.Slyly,sheonlypretendedtoputthedelicioustonguebetweenherlips.Intruthshedeftlydroppedthetongueintoheramplecleavage.Initsstead,sheplacedoneofthetwoketchuppacketsinhermouth,tuckingitsecretlywithinhercheek.AsanotherwaiterbowedlowtopresentanassortmentofScotcheggsarrayedinanembossedsilverchafingdish,Shastarepeatedhersleight-of-hand,droppingtheeggsintohercleavagewhilehidingthesecondketchuppacketwithinheroppositecheek.
Thearomaoffoodrosefromherbodice,andshestruggledtoswallowherownsaliva.Hermouthmustbedrywhenthetestingtookplace.Herownnaturalsalivawouldbetrayher.Ifthelaboratoriesat23&Mewereaccurate,herspitwouldprovehertobeoffifty-fourpercentsub-Saharangeneticdescent,makingherineligibletoresideinCaucasiamuchlessbecomewifetoachieftain.
No,whatsheheldsquirreledawayinhercheekswasthepackagedsalivaofanundeniablywhitegirl.They’dhammeredoutanagreement.IfCharmwouldhelpShastasucceedinbecomingCharlie’spublicwife,ShastawoulduseherloftypositiontoassistCharminsomeyet-to-be-namedendeavor.
Atthehourappointedforthetrial,thegreatclockstruck.Theminstrelsfellsilent,andtheassembledroyalsfelltobendedknee.Amajordomoclickedhisheelsandannounced,“Thechiefsurgeonoftherealmapproaches!”
ThesurgeonwasamongCharlie’sinnercircle.Terrencehisnamewas,someformerinvalidwho’dbeenroustedfromhisdeathbedbythestirringwordsofTalbott.Hemarchedfromthefarendofthegallery,hisemeraldgreenTabardblazing,embroideredwiththread-of-gold.PearlsthesizeofSpanishpeanutsstuddedhiscodpiece.Toguessfromtheirbutterysoftness,histhigh-highbootscould’vebeenfashionedfromnothingexceptthefinestofpleather.
Whateverhisinfirmityhadbeen,thesurgeonshowednotraceofit.Afinecascadeofblondringletsfelltohisshoulders.BeforereachingShasta,hepausedinthecenterofthecrowdandloweredhisheadwhileheintonedashortprayer.“OOdin,fatherofThorandBaldr,”heliftedhisvoicetowardtheelaboratelycofferedandfrescoedceiling,“Odin,bearerofthespearGungnirandhusbandofFrigg...”
Listening,Shastatriednottothinkofthetastypeacocktonguethatwasevennowlodgedbetwixtherlovelybreasts,lestshesalivate.Sheheldherjawslacktopreventperforatingtheketchuppacketsandprematurelyfillinghermouthwithpricelesswhite-girlspit.
“OOdin,”thesurgeoncontinued,“wepraythatthiswomanprovespureenoughtoserveasourqueen.”Inclosing,heplungedthefingersofoneexperthandintohissporran.Fromitsdepthsheremovedsomethingthatshinedlikeahalointhechamber’sgloom.Itwasrumoredhepossessedfantastichealingpower.AndthatuponreadingthewordsoftheTalbottbookhe’dthrownhimselffromhisdeathbedandpledgedhisnewfoundvigortoservingCaucasia.
TheshiningobjecthepresentedwasasterilePetridish,andwithitheapproachedShasta.
Silently,shepursedherlipsandsuckedhermouthdry.TheScotcheggshe’ddroppedintoherbodiceslippedlower,andshecouldfeelitswarmthagainsthertensedabs.Shemustnotbitethepacketsuntiltheritualbegan.
NoformalmedicaltraininghadTerrence,butitwaswidelyknownthathispalettewassorefinedthatwithasinglesipofaperson’ssamplehecoulddetectone’sentireracialbackground.HekneltbeforeShasta,holdingoutthePetridishlikeanoffering.
This,thiswashermoment.Shebentherfaceovertheemptyvessel.Usingherbackteethshegnawedarentinonepacket.Theforeigntasteofastrangegirl’scolddroolfloodedhertongue.Sheburstthesecondpacket,andthesensationdoubled.HermouthwasawashintheforeigntangofCharm’sbodilyfluids.CoolerthanShastaexpected,thefluidssquirtedbetweenhermolars.TheslipperywetnessofCharmcoatedShasta’stongue,somuchsothatwhenshebentherfacetodribbleadaintysampleintotheglassdish,agushingtideofgirlsalivafellfromherlips.
ThedownpourswampedtheedgesofthePetridish.Terrence,thesurgeon,lookedupinsurprise.Hisextendedarmstrembledwiththeaddedweight.
Shastablushedfuriously.Inwhatshehopedwasanelegantgesture,shewipedherdrippingmouthwiththebillowingsleeveofhersilkgown.Resistshedidtheimpulsetotwistherheadasideand
spitandspituntiltheflavorofCharm’ssalivaryglandshauntedhertastebudsnomore.
Round-eyedwithshockwasthenoblecompanyinattendance.
Thesurgeonassessedthebrimmingdish.Inahushed,awedtone,Terrencegushed,“Milady,thehueofyourexpectorantshowsgreatpromise.”Whosoever’ssalivathiswas,itglistenedinhishands.Asilverglinthighlighteditsbeauty.Thefrothofitshowedbluish,suchwasitspurity.Shastasaidasilentprayerthespitwasn’thers.
Thetworupturedpacketsstillrestedinsidehercheeks.Discreetlysonottobenoticed,shefishedthefingersofonehandfardownbetweenherbreastsandsoughtoutthestashedpeacocktongueandtheScotchegg.ToridhermouthofCharm’staste,shequicklygulpeddownbothoftheraredelicacies.
Theroyalsurgeonliftedthesampletohisnose.Hesniffedatthegooeyliquid.Heputthebrimtohislips,tippedit,andbegantosip.Hesloshedthesamplebackandforthbetweenhischeeks.Hesmackedhislips.
Dawsonhadneverrebuiltawoman.Nottodate.Likeeveryman,he’dseenwomentotaled.Rolledsobad,awoman’sframesotwistedshe’dneverbeputbackintoproperalignment.Fitonlyforthejunkyard.He’dseenafinewomansoneglectedthatfinallyherchassishadrustedthrough.Andhe’dseenolderwomengiventhehotrodtreatment,layeredwithBondotosmooththeircurves,trickedoutwithHookerheaders,andrepaintedincolorsthatwerebarelystreetlegal.
Heinspectedthegalhe’dfoundontheroad.Tuckeredoutasshewas,she’dfallenasleepinthecabofhisrig,leanedagainstthesidedoor.Littlemorethanapileofdirtylaundry.Agalwithherupbringing,shefiguredthathistoryonlymovedinonedirection.TheTalbottbookhadprovedherwrong.Withthepriceonherhead,shewasadeadPhDwalking.
Thetwo-lanehighwayskirtedfieldsthatstretchedtothehorizon.Asmanyrowsofeggplantsastherewereripplesintheocean.Tendedbyaplatoonofstoopedwomenwithheadscarvesknottedtocovertheirhair.Refugeesfromthecities.Thecitiesweren’tsustainable.Nevermindalltherecyclingandwindturbinepower,citieswereneversustainable.They’dcollapsedintopitsofcannibalismwiththeluckysurvivorsstreamingintothecountryside.They’dgonebeggingtoserveontheestatesofthechieftains.Nocounterrevolutionwasorganizinginthehills,livingonhardtackandplottingtoregainpowerwithareally,really,scathinglybrilliantpoem.
Thethugsandgangstershadthegunssonowtheyruledtheirownnationofbondsmenandthralls.ThebrosandredneckshadthegunssonowtheyreignedovertheserfsofCaucasia.Theright-mindedprogressivegungrabberswiththeirright-side-of-history,theyhadtheircivil-rightslawyersandNinthCircuitCourt.They’dlivedtheirentirelivesonpaper.Iftheysurviveditwasasgratefulslaves.
ThePhDgalstirredinhersleep.Dawsontriedtorecallhernamefromthelist.Herbountywassixteenhundredvotes,andthosecouldbeauctionedforgoodmoney.Hernameescapedhim.Ithadbeensomethingmade-up.
Sheblinkedaway.
Hedidn’tbreakeyecontactuntilshelookedaway.Hedidn’tneedto.Theroadswereempty.Hecouldfeedher.Gethersomemilk,abigglassofbuttermilk.Theweddingringdeepinhispantspockettoldhimthiswouldn’tbesoeasy.
Sheslumpedlow.Hidinglow.Andasked,“Whereareyoutakingme?”
“Canada,”Dawsonlied.Onthehorizonhoveredalargewhitesign.Mountedatopapole,itturnedslowly.Inlargeblacklettersagainstawhitebackgrounditread:“WhitesOnly.”
Dawsonasked,“Howdoessomebreakfastsound?”
Shedashedtearsfromhereyes.“Ineedtofeelsafesomewhere.”
Dawsonknewshe’dneverfeelsafeagain.
Itwasjustaswellthiscalamityhadbefallenher,hefigured.She’drisentopowerbyrepeatingtheopinionsofpeoplewho’drepeatedtheopinionsofpeoplewho’drepeatedtheopinionsofpeople.Ifthatwasn’talineageequaltoandjustascorruptasthelineagesofAdjustmentDay,Dawsondidn’tknowjack.Historyhadsavedthiswoman.She’dbeengivenachance,likeScarlettO’Hara,tobetestedanddeveloparealpowerofherownmaking.
Thecryinghadcleanedherfacesome.Minusthecrud,shewasn’tsohardontheeyes.Shelookedattheplowedlandscapewiththedazedexpressionofasleepwalkerwho’dwokenupfromalongdreamaboutuniversalequalityandguaranteedhumanrights.
Dawsonremembered.HernamewasRamantha.
Heparkedinthegravellotbesidethediner,andtheywalkedinandsatatared-toppedtable.Flouncedginghamcurtainshunginthewindows.Theymatchedthefrilledapronofthewaitresswhoasked,“WhatcanIgetyoufolks?”Herbreath,sweetsmellingfromJuicyFruitchewinggum.
Dawsonasked,“What’sgood?”Ajukeboxplayedcountrymusicatlowvolume.
Thewaitresstwiddledherpenbetweenthefingersofonehand.“TheBullConnorWhiteBeanBurritoisnice.”Sheglancedbackatthekitchenpass-throughwindow.“AndtheEvaBraunWhiteCheddarMac’n’Cheeseisrealgood.”
Ramanthaheldhermenutoohigh.Shewasclearlyhidingbehindit.Muffled,shesaid,“I’llhavetheKlanBurger.”
Thewaitresseyedher.Shepoppedhergumandasked,“GrandDragonorGrandWizard?”
Dawsontranslated,“Shemeanslargeorsmall.”
Thewaitressasked,“Honey,mayIseesomeidentification?”
“What?”Ramanthalookedoutfrombehindthemenu.“I’mthirty-five.”
Dawsonsaid,“I’llvouchforher.”Itwasn’tproofofagethewaitresswanted,itwasproofofethnicity.Asachieftainofthefirstlineage,heknewnoonewoulddoubthisword.Heorderedacupofcoffee.
TheprofessororderedaSkinheadSkinlessChickenBreastSandwichandaWoodrowWilsonEggSaladSandwichandaLothropStoddardVanillaSundaewithMarshmallowSauceandWhippedCream.
Hesippedhiscoffeeandwatchedherdigintothemountainoffood.
Ifshestunkhe’dgrownusedtoherstink.Bythelookofherstringyarmsshecouldn’tfightoffmuch.Hecouldravishherjustfortheeffortofpushinghertotheground.
Theweddingringfeltbiginhispocket.
Dawsonflaggedthewaitressandaskedforthecheck,allthewhiletellinghimselfthatassoonasthesunsethewasn’tgoingtorapethishalf-deadwoman.Nope.Positivelynot,nowaywasherapingherandstranglingherskinnyneckandcuttingoffhereartosellsohecouldbuyhisoldladythattreadlesewingmachineshe’dbeenmooningafterforbetterthanayear.
TheirswasthegrandestweddingthefledglingnationofCaucasiahadeverwitnessed.Aftertheregalpromenadeoftheroyalfamilies,eachchieftainbedeckedinjewelsandartificialfurs,leadingacontingentofpregnantwives...afterthelavishbanquetofthelineages...afterthecourtiershadtoastedeachotherwithchalicesofhealthyurine...aftereachpublicwifeoftherealmhadbestowedherbestwishesuponQueenShasta...assheandCharliestoodontheparapetsandwavedtotheirthousandsofserfs...itwasthenatightformationofjumbojetlinerspasseddirectlyoverhead.
Hiseyesfollowingthem,Charliedidsay,“There.ThelastoftheJewsarehomeboundforIsrael.Agoodomen.Letuscelebrate!”
Fortheirnuptialtouraroundtheestate,anopencarriagewroughtfromsolidsilver—agreatheavything—waspulledbyavisiblystraining,enormousherdoftinywhitelambs.
Wholemuttonturnedslowlyonspitsaboveragingbonfires.Theairredolentwithmeatysmellsandthestinkofgunpowder,thelatterfromthecelebratoryfireworks.Meaddidflow,andbodiceswereroundlyrippedtothesoundofmerrypipers.
Intheirfirstweddedmomentalone,Charliedidtakehisnewwifeboldlyinhisarms.InnoblemodestyheaccededtoShastathathiswasasimplehard-laboring,tax-payingCaucasianpeniswithoutthedimensionsorthestaminaaccreditedtotheblackorthehomosexual.Hismightnotbringherthefulfillmentofothers,buthewouldstrivetosowamultitudeofseedsinher.Charlie
wouldsowherandkeepsowingher,relentlessly,forshewouldbehismate.He’dsowheranytimehedesired,dayornight,headacheornone.Andhe’dsowherinanypositionhecouldimagineandsowherwearingcostumesandashecompelledhertopretendtobehissecond-gradeteacher,Mrs.Halliday,orasexyairlinestewardess,maybe,orhe’dsowheralltiedupbecausetheoverarchingedictofCaucasiawas“ProgressCanWait”andinlinewiththeteachingsofTalbottmillionsofmenhaddiedtocreateandprotecttheformerlyunitedstates,thosemenhadgiventheirlivesandperishedinunspeakableagonysonowwomenshoulddedicatethemselvestopreservingthenation,andinsteadoflandminesblastingthemintoscreaminggoreormustardgasreamingouttheirlungs,thisgenerationofwomenwouldbereveredbyanewnationofoffspringandfuturegenerations,forperpetuatingthewhiterace.
Shasta,Charlieextolled,heldthedestinyofCaucasiabetweenherlegs.
Stillattiredinherweddingfinery,Shastadiddemurelyexcuseherselftomakewater.Charliegaveherapeckonthecheekandtoldhernottotarry.Theyhadyettocuttheirtoweringweddingcake.Norhadtheydancedtothetraditionalmadrigals.
VeileddidShastaimplementthenextphaseofherplan.
TherusewithCharm’sspithadworked.Astheirnewlycrownedqueen,thepalaceguardcoulddenyShastaaccesstonoarea.QuicklyshescurriedtoCharlie’shomeoffice.Thereshebootedhisantiquecomputermachine.Hiswasnogreatintellect,andshereadilycircumnavigatedhiscrudesecuritycodes.Hispasswordwasabitcryptic:“mom&dadRIP.”Thedevicebuzzedandblinked.Itsscreenbegantoscrollthenamesofthelivingandthetargeted.Thosewhohadbeenrelocatedtootherhomelands.ThosewhoremainedinCaucasiaandtowhomtheywerepresentlyindentured.Amongthesenamesshefoundnotthatofhertruelove.
ForShastadidloveonlyoneman,andcontrarytoappearancesitwasnotCharlie.
AndasthefireworksbegantoboomagainsttheduskingskydidsheactivatetheSearchfunctionandtypeinthename“WalterBaines.”
Backintheworldyoustillknow...intheBeforeTimes...WalterwhisperedtoTalbottwhiletheoldmanslept.HehelduptelephonephotosofShasta.Hewhisperedaboutherwisdomandtalents.Aboutherbeautyandstrengthandgrace.Andastheoldmandozedanddrowsedandsnored,WalterheldthepinkfoamearplugsoTalbottcouldn’thelpbutcatchawhiffofitsacridperfume.
Jamalcouldn’thelpbutshowoff.Daysandeveningshe’dsitwiththecreatureinthebygonegloryoftheparlor.Thecreaturebraggedupthemenintheancestralportraits,boastingabouttheiractsofbraveryandscientificachievements.Leftunsaidwastheconstantdrumbeatdeclaringthepasttobeagoldeneraandthepresentaswampoffailure.
ToremedythesituationJamalsummonedthehousekeeperandaskedhertodressBarnabasforaday’souting.Nothingstressful.NotmuchmorethanajaunttoanearbycitytosurveythechangesthathadtakenplacesincethefoundingofBlacktopia.
Arabellapulledaface.“Youdorealize,”shesaid,“thatsoulhasn’tsetfootoffthisfarminyears.”
Jamalassuredher,“All’sthemorereason.”
Barnabasdidn’tappearpartialtotheidea,either.Itcouldn’tsetfootoverthethresholdwithoutwantingtogobackforadifferentshirtortochangeitsshoes.
Jamal’sfirstpointofpridewasthelevitator.Thesameelectro-spiritualprinciplesthatfloatedthegreatspacepyramids,thissameblack-basedtechnologyallowedpersonaltransportvehiclesthatamountedtosmallfloatingplatformsthatcouldskimalongatincrediblespeeds.Throughouthistorywhitemenhadclaimedthatmagiccarpetswereafictionsimplybecausenowhitemancouldduplicatetheachievement.Vehemently,whiteshadlongsoughttohumiliateblacksbyclaimingthelatterhadneverinventedthewheel.
TheBarnabascreaturetentativelyclimbedaboardthefloatingplatformasJamalexplained.BlacksinAfricahadnouseforwheelsbecausetheyflew.They’dnouseforanywrittenlanguagebecausetheycombinedtheirwisdomutilizingthetechniqueofcognitiveamalgamation.AllofthiswisdomhadbeensecretlylockedawaywhenEuropeanshadbeguntoinvadethecontinent.
Barnabasgrippedthefrontedgeoftheplatformwithmetaphoricallywhiteknuckles.Therushofairrustleditsmassoffrizzedhair.Thevehiclebeganitsriseabovethetrees,abovethehouseandbarns.“Lawdy,massahJamal,”thecreaturebawled,“Gawdain’tnev-ahintentioneduztahflah!”
AstheysoaredabovetheopencountryJamallecturedonthestateofthingssinceAdjustmentDay.Gays,who’dlivedsuchgadaboutandfootlooselives,inGaysiatheywereyokedtothenationalcampaignforreproduction.Draconianspermdrivesleftmostmenwithlittlemoneyorenergy.Andwomenhadlostallcontrolovertheirreproductiverights.Healthywomenwererequiredtoregister,andeventuallytobeconscriptedtobear—notarms—butbabies!Tosustaintheirpopulationviaexportleftthemwithscanttimeforsadomasochisticanticsormeth-fueledcircuitparties.Jamalshoutedtobeheardabovethewind,“Liberationhasenslavedthem!”
CitizensofCaucasiawerenobetteroff.Wherethey’dexcelledinscience,theynowbannedit.They’dturnedtheirfocustoJeffersonianagricultureandreinstatingawhite-Europeanculture.ThegreatmetropolisesofCaucasiahadswiftlydeclinedintodeadlyno-gozoneswheredisplacedliberal-artsmajorsstalkedeachotherasfood.Theluckyhadescapedtoindenturethemselvestochieftainsandlaboronthehugefood-producingestates.
Belowthelevitator,thelandsofBlacktopiaappearedwithouthousesorfences.Allroadways,powerpoles,andothersignsofhumancivilizationhadbeenerased.Intheirplacewildanimalsroamed.Sleekherdsofzebras.Hornedmassesofwildebeests.JamaltriedtoreadBarnabas’sexpression.ThePeabodyPlantationstoodalone,thelastsurvivorofthemanydynasticseatsthathaduntilrecentlyfilledtheregion.Thecreaturecouldonlystare,itsmouthagog.
Likeamirage,therainbow-coloredlights,thespiresanddomesofacityappearedinthedistance.UnlikeCaucasia,thepopulationsofBlacktopiahadcoalescedintoitscities,transformingthemintomagnificencewhileallowingthegreaterlandscapetorevertbacktoanalmostlimitlessnaturepreserve.ThefaunaofMotherAfricahadbeenintroducedandhadflourished.Thelevitatorcarriedthemabovetheheadsofwallowinghipposandpreeninglions.Theydippedtobetterobservefiercepacksofhyenas.Aparadise,itamountedto,andJamalfeltjustifiedinhispride.
Everywonderthewhitemanhaddismissedasafable,hereitexisted.ThecitytheyapproachedrivaledallthelegendsaboutAtlantis.Blackshadresurrectedallthepyro-spiritualandelectro-expressivetechnologiesthey’dlongkepthidden.These,thesacredlawsofsoul-metrics,hadneverbeenappropriatedtoenrichthewhiteman’sbrutalempire.
AsachieftainofthefirstlineageJamalwouldbewarmlywelcomedintoanyhome.
Thelevitatorswervedandloopedbetweenthedramatic,multicoloredskyscrapers.Floweringvinescascadeddownfromwindowsandbalconieslikebrilliantflags.TheBarnabascreaturecraneditsneckasifsearchingforanyvestigeofthepreviouscorruptcivilizationbuiltbywhitepeople.MeremonthshadelapsedsinceAdjustmentDay.“MassahJamal,”itstammered,“how?”
“Muse-O-Metrix,”Jamalanswered.Heexplainedthattheharmonicgiftsofhisracehadmuchdeeperapplicationsthanthewhitemanhadeversuspected.Whenasufficientpopulationofblacksharmonizedinunison,thepoweroftheircombinedsongwouldrestructurephysicalmatter.Eachmassivebuildingamountedtothefrozenmusicofasinglebeautifulsong.Indeed,everypinnaclesoaredlikeacrescendo.
Jamalsteeredthelevitatortowardaprominentedifice.Domedandbuttressed,itdwarfedtheless-imposingstructuressurroundingit.AtthegatewayaliveriedrobotassistedhimandBarnabastodisembark.Theyenteredthroughdazzlingcrystallinedoorsandcrossedaplushlobbyalivewithbloomingtropicalplantsandfree-flyingparrotsandcockatiels.
Barnabas,cowed,whispered,“Lawdymassah,hooliv-ahhee-rah?”Thewhispersechoedbackfromthevaultedceilingandthechamber’stroveofpricelessantiquities.
Jamaldidn’tshushthecreature.Hetookpityonthestoopedfreakthatwasshrinkingitselfeversmallerinfear.Barnabaswasbeyondtheageforfindingoutitwasfullofshit.
Pastthelobbynonebutasinglepairofdoors,heavilysculptedfromwhatappearedtobesolidgold,sowarmandsobright,onlythesedoorsstood.Jamaltouchedadiscretebuttonandchimessounded.Thedoorsswunginwardtorevealarobotattiredinatuxedo.Inawarmculturedvoice,thisrobotbid,“Greetings,Jamal.Isyourmotherexpectingyou?”
Therobotusheredthemintoaluminouschamber.Itheldthemuffledsilenceofagreenhouse.Orchidswererootedintheintricatelytiledwalls,andtheirtremblingblossomsscentedtheairwithsweetness.Followingtherobot’sgesture,JamalandtheBarnabascreatureseatedthemselvesonexpensivewickersettees.Theyacceptedtallhighlycoloreddrinksofferedbyarobotdressedinalacyapronandcap.
Hardlyweretheysettledbeforeanotherdooropenedandarushofcolorsandperfumesweptinto
theirpresence.Aswirlofiridescentsilkskirtrevealedtwoperfectlysculptedgamsstridingtowardthem.BraidedhairglintedwithTahitianpearlsandplatinumbeads.“Mydarling,”saidthedulcetvoiceofagoddess.Slenderandregal,shecrossedtokissJamallightlyonbothcheeks.Hereyesfellonthecreatureandherrefinedfeaturestwisted.Atthesightofthisstaineddwarf,hersmoothfaceshriveledwithconfusionandfear.
JamalandtheBarnabascreaturestoodtogreether.
Notaheartbeatpassedbeforeshe’dregainedherqueenlycomposure.“Hello.”Sheofferedalanguidhand,thefingersweightedwithdiamondrings,thewristloadedwithemeraldbracelets.“IamJamal’smother.”Herexpressionbetrayednoneofherearlieralarm.
Jamalhadalwaysadmiredhismom.Richorpoor,she’dalwaysbeenaclassact.Andassheacceptedthewithered,discoloredpawofthecreature,hisrespectgrewbeyondallbounds.Shethrewhimalookofconcernmaskedbehindaserenesmile,markedonlybecausehereyecontactlastedasmidgentoolong.Hersilentnodsummonedarobotbearingasilvertrayofamuse-bouches.“Ihopeyoulikenightingaletongues,”shesaid.
Addedtherobotinascratchy,affectlessvoice,“They’rebite-sized.”
Jamalwatchedwithmilddelightasthecreaturepickedfromamongthedelicacies.“Eye’sbeBarn-ah-bus,”itsaid,andpoppedatidbitintoitsgrinningmouth.
Hismothermaintainedhercomposureasthecreatureregaledthemwithtalesaboutfarmlife.“DatMizzJo,shebe’sahmons-tahtahworksfer,”itsaidthroughamouthfulofpartiallymasticatedtongues.ItwentontodescribemenialchoresandhowMissJosephinehadfledimmediatelyfollowingAdjustmentDay.“DatMassahTal-bott,hebe’satroohee-ro!”
Jamal’smothertookthisinstride.“Mysonhaslongbeenobsessedwithlivinginthatparticularhouse...”
TheBarnabascreaturecasthimapuzzledlook.
Jamalgavehismotherasidewaysglance,oneeyebrowraisedtowarnher.“Yes,”headded.“Wehavefamilyhistoryinthearea.”
Thecreaturedidagoggle-eyeddoubletake.“Wuzya’llfamblyslay-vus?”
Jamal’smothermotionedforarobottorefreshtheirdrinks.“Somethinglikethat...,”shesighed.
Theypassedapleasantafternoon.Jamal’smothershepherdedthemintoherkitchenwherethefleshgeneratorprovidedadeliciousluncheon.SheexplainedproudlyhowthetechnologywasbasedonHeLacells,immortalcellsthatcontinuedtoreproducethemselvesindefinitely.ThesecellshadbeeninventedbyablackwomanandusedtoaltertheDNAofanimals,creatingmassesofbeef,chicken,andporkthatspontaneouslyclonedthemselves.Thefleshgeneratoritselfwasahugecylinderofmeatthatturnedslowlyunderheatlamps.Theexteriorwasalwaysasavorycookedlayerreadytobecarvedawayandeaten.Atthecoreweretheever-replicatingcells,fedbyaconstantstreamofaminoacidspumpedthroughthespindleatthecoreofthecylinder.ToJamalitlookedlikenothingmorethananold-schoolgyroconegrillingonaverticalrotisserie,butinthiscasethetaperingamalgamofbonelessfleshwasalivingthing,rawandvitalatthecore,butconstantlydyingandbeingcookedontheoutside.Thescentwasintoxicating.
Theywatchedthemeatrotatesmoothly.Itsweatedcleargreasethatraninrivuletsdownitsappetizingflanks.“Thetrueblessingisthatwenolongerneedtoslaughteranimals,”saidJamal’smother.Thecore’sgeneticallyimmortalcellswerelikeasourdough“starter”thatperpetuateditselfgiventherightconditions.Everyhouseholdincludedsuchagenerator,thustheanimalsofBlacktopiacarousedincompletesafetyandfreedom.Eventhecarnivoreswerefedfromsimilarfleshgenerators.Fullysatiatedonimmortalmeat,thelionsdidinfactliedownwiththelambs.BlacktechnologyhadcreatedHeavenonEarth.
Barnabasrecoiledatfirst,butasinglemouth-wateringbitemadeitaconvert.
Jamal’smotherleanedclosetothecreatureasifsharinganintimateconfidence.“Idohopeyoucanconvincemysontodemolishthatoldfarmandassumehisplaceofprestige,hereinthecity.”ShelookedpointedlyatJamal.Hertonewasprickly.“Hisobsessionwiththatancienthomesteadisentirelyunhealthy.”
Heandhismotherhaddebatedthispointmanytimes.Insteadofengagingonthetopic,JamalnotedthetimeandinsistedontakingBarnabashome.
Thecreaturefellsilentontheirtripbackhome.ThesightofsomanywondershadclearlyshakenBarnabas.Itglancedaboutwithbulging,confusedeyes.
Jamalfeltahugesympathy,almostafamilialaffectionforit.
Aheavy,inkytearwashedalighterstripedownitscheek.Itspokehaltingly,“Ahah-soomyah’llwanztahee-rad-ah-kateMizzJo’sfamblyplay-s?”
Jamalfixedthecreaturewithacompassionateexpression.“Ipromise,”hevowed,“thataslongasyoulivethathousewillstandasyourhome.”
TheBarnabascreaturegazedintothedistance.There,thefamiliarbarnsandmanorhousewereslowlycomingintosight.Inthebackdrop,thesunwassettingrapidly.
Bingheldthebongtohismouth,sightingdownthelengthofitasifitwerearifle.Heheldacigarettelightertothepackedbowlandflickedthelighterasifhewerepullingatrigger.Heinhaledsohardhewentcross-eyed.Withhislungsfull,heshouted,“Bang!Bang!Bang!”expellingdopesmokelikeburstsofgunsmoke.
Hejerkedthebongfromsidetosideasiffiringonnewtargets,thepeppermintschnappsinsideitsloshing.Hesightedafinaltargetthroughthebongandpuffedoutamuffled,“Bang.”
Felixclutchedhisheartinbothhandsandfellbackwardagainstagarbagecan.“Yougotme,”hecroaked,“I’mdead.”
BinghandedthelightertoFelix.Heloweredthebongandturnedhisattentiontoreloadingthebowl.“Alivedefinesdead,”hesighed.“Youneverfeelasaliveaswhenyoumakesomebodyelsedead.”
Hedescribedhowithadfelttobeintheshootinggalleryofthelegislature.Bing’sfavoritetopic.Theysat,justthetwoofthem,inthealleybackofFelix’sapartmenthouse.
Deliciouswasout.Felix’smomwashome,whichwaswhyhewashidingoutdoors,pullingbonghits.Beingalonewithhismomwasagonythesedays.Shewasforeverguilt-trippinghimtonotdeclarehispreference,towaitatleastayear,tostayathomeandkeephercompany.ButwhenheconsideredanotheryearinGaysia,anotherhands-offyearwatchingeveryoneelsefindlovewhileeverypussywasoff-limitstohim,thewaitmadehimcrazy.
Binghandedhimthebong,saying,“Ican’tbelieveyou’renothomo.”ItwasokayforBingtoknow.Bingwasanationalhero,achieftainofthefirstlineage.He’dstoodinthespectator’sgalleryandputastoptotheoldorder,whereweaklingshadpanderedandliedtowinthepopularitycontestpeopleusedtocall“politics.”
ForBingnothingwouldevercomparetoAdjustmentDay.Thatwaswhyhe’dbecomeastoner,becausehe’dnevermatchtherushofblowingawaytheframeworkofhisoppression.
Felixtookthebong,seeingtheinsideofBing’sforearm.Thetattootherebelowtherolled-upsleeveofhisshirt.Felixasked,“IsthatAndyWarhol?”
Bingtwistedhisarmtoreadhisowntattoo.“It’sTalbott.”Heasked,“DidItellyouImethim?”
Felixhadthebongaroundhislipsashesaid,“Onlyamilliontimes.”Hiswordssoundedmuffledinsidethetubeofit.Thetattooread:
IntheFutureEveryoneWillBeShotforFifteenMinutes.
“Yeah,”Bingsaid,“Iwastherewhenhesaidit.”He’dtoldthestorysomanytimes,aboutTalbottbeinglashedtoachairwithleatherbeltsandducttape,nakedandbloodiedbutstillissuingorders.AboutthechieftainseachseekinganaudiencewithhimintheweeksleadinguptoAdjustmentDay.
Felixexhaled,asking,“How’ditfeel?”Andheinhaledthroughthebong.Theschnappsbubbled,andthemint-tastingsmokefloodedhismouth.
Theybothknewwhathemeant.Anditfeltwonderful.Killingyourenemyfeltbetterthanthebiggestlotterywin.Itfeltlikehavingthelastlastword.Theultimatevictory.AsitwaswrittenintheTalbottbook:
TheCoreHumanDriveIstoDominateandtoAvoidBeingDominated.
Andasthebookwasquicktoadd:
AnyoneWhoDeniesThatFactIsSimplyTryingtoDominateYou.
Felixheldthesmokeinhischestandlistened.
“Sowhereyouheaded?”askedBing.HemeantCaucasiaorBlacktopia.ItwasatestamenttoGaysiathatBingcouldsithere,takingdeepbonghitsinacatpiss–smellingalleyatmidnight.InCaucasiaandBlacktopiacitizenswithapreponderanceofAsiangeneticsweredeportedtoAsia.JewswenttoIsrael.Mexicantypesself-exiledtoMexico.
Andforthefirsttime,anideadawnedonFelix.He’dneverseenBingwithanotherman.MaybeBingwasaheterosexualhidingoutlikehisownparents.MaybethereasonBingwasalwaysbakedwasbecausehedidn’twanttobeshippedofftoanothercontinent,yethewasn’tahomosexual,either.Bingmightbesomeonehecouldtrustwithallofhissecrets.
Felixheldhisbreathandshrugged.He’dcrossthegenetictestingbridgewhenhecametoit.Hestillhadtofilloutthepaperworkforhisformaldeclarationofpreference.
“Killingiskilling,”saidBing.Itwasthebestrush,barnone.Itwaslikewinningthebiggestwin.Toseeyourenemiesburstopen.Tohearthemfallsilentandtoknowthey’dneveragainhurtyou.Itwastheendtoyourworstfears.Theconfirmationthatyoudon’tneedtobeanyone’sslave.Binghadtoldthestorysomanytimes,inbars,infrontofschoolassemblies.Heamountedtoalivingfossil.
Astonedlivingfossil.ThethoughtalmostmadeFelixlaugh.Becauseafossilwasbydefinitionencasedinstone,andBing’seyesweresofuckingbloodshot...evenasherecountedforcingsometerrifiedsenatortofilltheburialpitsatgunpoint.
“Toremovethepersonfromaperson,”Binginsisted,“toreducesomebodytonothingbutmeatandhair,it’slikeamagictrickonlyreal.Youknow?”Hecoughed,chokingouttheword.“Isn’tthatwhatamiracleis?”
Felixnoddedvehementlyandhandedbackthebong.HedebatedtellingBingthewholetruth.Alittlestoned,hetrustedthatBingwouldunderstand.BinghadkepthissecretaboutbeingheterosexualsinceFelixhadmovedinnextdoortothem.“Promisemesomething,”Felixasked.“Willyoucheckinonmymom?LikeonChristmas?Justsoshe’snottotallyalone.”
Packingthebowl,Bingdismissedhisconcern.“YourmomhasDelicious.Deliciousisgoingtohaveakid.”
Felixwaiteduntilthebongwasreloadedandhisfriendwassparkingthebowl.AsBingsuckeddownatoke,Felixmarveled.Theset-upwasperfect.Anditwasn’tjusttheweedtalking.Bingwasobviouslyafugitive,too,livingnextdoor.FelixcouldmakehisdeclarationandfindhisownfutureknowingthatBingwouldstayaround.Granted,Felix’sdadwouldbehere,buthecouldn’triskcrossingpathswithhissecretwife.That,andDeliciouswashere,butshewaspracticallyastranger.Bing,hisbestfriend,wouldcontinuetowatchoverFelix’smotherwhileshegrewold.
Thebowlfulofdopeflaredbrightorangeinthedark.Theschnappsgurgled.
“Don’ttakethisthewrongway,”Felixbegan.Helookedforlightinanynearbywindows.Theonlyglowingwindowwashighupinhisapartmentwherehismomwouldbesittingaloneinthekitchen.Heasked,“We’refriends,right?”
Bing’schestswelledwiththesmoke.HisredeyesmetFelix’s,andhenodded.
Felixcontinued,“Iknowwhyyou’rehere,inGaysia...”
Bingcockedhishead,stillholdingthesmoke.
“You’relikemyparents,”Felixexplained.“Mydadisblack.Theybothmovedhereclaimingtobehomosexual,butthey’resecretlymarriedandgettogetheronthesly—”
ThesmokeexplodedfromBing’smouthinahuge,“What!”
Felixhadfuckedup.
Thebongsetcarefullyaside,Bingglowered.“Saywhat?”Loud.Awindowappearedasinsidealightflashedon.Anotherwindowappeared.
Felixheldupbothhandstoshushhisfriend.“Nothing.Ajoke.”
“SodoesDeliciousknow?”askedBing.Hiseyesblinked.“OrisDeliciousaheterosexual,too?”
Forthefirsttime,FelixcouldseetheoldBing.Themanhisfriendhadbeen,whocouldshoulderarifleandmowdowneveryoneheconsideredanenemy.Abovethem,otherlightsoutlinednewwindows.Peoplewouldhear.Onewindowscrapedopenandavoicecalleddown,“It’slate!”
Felixlunged.HeclampedahandoverBing’smouthandheldit,whispering,“Pleasedon’t.”
Thetwograppled,tumblingsidewaysonthelitteredground.Wrestlinginthecigarettebuttsandbottlecaps.Bing’sfingernailsclawedatFelix’shand,clawedathisfaceandneck,butFelixheldon,whispering,“Youcan’t.”Astheirlegskickedovergarbagecansandpeopleshouteddownattheminthedark,BingclobberedFelixwithafisttothehead.Bingbashedhimbetweentheeyes,andFelixfeltheatsprayfromhisnose,andhetastedsaltandpeppermintschnapps,andhefeltBing’sscreamsmuffledagainsthispalm.BothofBing’shandswerepoundinghimintheribs.HiskneespummeledFelix’sgut.
Morewindowswerebright,andfaroverheadstoodtheoutlineofFelix’smom,theupperhalfofher,herheadandshouldersoutlinedinthelightfromtheirkitchen.
Bing’steethsankintohispalm,andFelixsnatchedhishandback.
Bing’svoicerangout,“Heterosexuals!Heterosexuals!”
AndFelix’sbleedingfingersfoundthelongtubeofthebongandgrabbeditup,andbroughtitdown.Theglassbrokeacrosssomething,andBingfellsilent.Bloodandpeppermintschnappssplashedeverywhere.
Bing’sbodywentlimpandtoppledbackwardontothepavement.Anypersonwasgonefromtheperson.Reducedtonothingbutmeatandhair.Thenightaircarriedthegrowingsoundofpolicesirens.
Felixhadheardthestoriesoftenenoughtoknow.Hisonlyfriendwasdead.
Worsethandead,Bingwaswrong.
Killinghimhadn’tmadeFelixfeeleventheleastbitgreat.
WhenNickfoundthefirstboxhewasn’tsurprised.ItsatinthemiddleofSoutheastYamhillStreet,between42ndand43rd.TheTalbottbookpredictedasmuch.
Thebookhadgotteneverythingright,sofar.Thefireshadstartedweeksbefore,justastheTalbottbookhadforeseen.Herewasthesamemethodtheeliteshadusedinthe1965Wattsfirethathaddestroyedonehundredsquareblocks,inthe1967Newarkfires,andthe1967Detroitfirethathadwipedoutfourhundredbuildings.AsinWashington,D.C.,in1968with1,199buildingsburned,itwasalwaysthewhitestorchingblackneighborhoods.ToherdblackcitizensawayfromurbanareasandbacktolivesassharecroppersandfieldhandsintheDeepSouth.
ThesedaysitwastheCaucasiachieftainscommittingarsoninordertodriveanylingeringblackstoBlacktopia.AndtodrivetheremainingPortlandwhitesouttotheestates.
Theboxleftinthestreetwasthesamedeal.
Inthe1950ssuchaboxwouldbefilledwithheroin.Inthe1990sitwouldbecrackcocaine.Whateverthedecade,theCIAwouldleavetheboxinanyneighborhoodtheywantedtodestroy.Nowitwasthechieftains.Nicktorethecardboardopenandsortedthebagspackedinside.HeshovedthepocketsofhistrenchcoatfullofVicodinandAmbienandXanax,poundsofthemsealedinplastic.Therestheleft.AccordingtotheTalbottbookthey’ddropamessoftheseboxes,andNickscuttledofftohighgradetherest.
Aposteronanearbywallscreamedout:ASmileIsYourBestBulletproofVest!Nick’sonlyfamily,hismom,hadpackedupandgambledherlasttankofgasonfindinganestatewhereshecouldpledgeherself.Wordwasthebiglandoperationswerefringedwithfavelasofdisplacedmediaandinformationworkers.Alllivingoutoftheirdustycars.Washed-upwebdesignersanddiversityofficers,theywereallhopingtoprovethemselvesintheupcomingrhubarbharvestandtobeawardedathatchedcottagebeforewintersetin.
TheentireWiki-squatoftheInternetwastrashed.TheonlyradiowasTalbottandapproved
Caucasianmusic.Mostlypolkas,withsomewaltzesandjigs.Thegreatesthitsofharpsichordandbagpipe.Theradioannouncedthatthefireshadbeensetbyloyalists.Partisans.Talbotthimselfdenouncedanyrumorsthattheoldpresidenthadescapedandthatalookalikehadbeenassassinatedinhisstead.
Officially,thepresidentoftheformerlyunitedstateswasdead.Officially,thefiresthatsprangupatnightanddrovehelplesspeopleintothedarkstreetsweresetbyrebels.Banditsorhighwaymen.MaybeCanadians.Canadians,Nicknoted,werebrandedthenewterrorists.
AccordingtoTalbott’sbook,throughoutmodernhistorywell-meaningblackshadbeenpersecuted.Eachtimeacityhadburstintoflame,whenblackcitizenshadrushedtosavepropertythreatenedbythefire,whitemilitaryforceshadusedthisasapretensetoarrestthemforlooting.ThesedaysasfireschurnedthroughblockafterblockofPortland,anyonewhotriedtohelpwasarrested.Convictedontrumped-upcharges,theywererailroadedtoworkgangs.
Theboxes,theboxesallowedthelessheroicanotheroption.AsTalbottphrasedit,lessusefulmembersofsocietycouldself-selecttoleave,throughaccidentaloverdoseorsuicide.
Thefiresfoiledtheheroes.Thedrugsresolvedthecowards.OnlyNickcouldekeoutalifestayingbuzzedwhentherewasnofoodtobefound.Sleepwasadifferentmatter.Thegreatchieftainestateswiththeirfabledswathsofrunnerbeansandredcabbages,they’ddisplacedthewildpacksofwolvesandcoyotes.Thoseanimalsaswellasbearsandcougarshadroamedintothecitystreets,theparksandneighborhoods,seekingnewprey.Nightswhentheyhowledandtheirvictimsscreamed,Nickhadthepillstosleepsoundlyinwhateverabandonedautomobile.
Days,he’dcomeacrossamessthatmightstretchforcityblocks.Theribcageandspineinoneplace,theheadandpelviswouldbedraggedoff.Theskullmightbegone,buttherewasalwaysthemattedhair.Usuallythehands,too.Thesidewalkoralleywouldbestickywithdriedblood,withfootprintsofbloodwanderingoffineverydirection.Thefootprintsofwolvesorbear.Thescavengerprintsofcoyotesandraccoons,magpies,rats.Eachtrailofredprintspointedthedirectionofsomemissingarmorentrails.Somehaplessso-and-so.Thefingers,thefingersofthegnawed-onhandswouldbeloadedwithdiamondrings,rubyrings.Theeyeswouldbepeckedout,butapearlnecklacewouldbeleftbehind,miredintheblood.Carnivoresknewwhatwasactuallyofrealvalue.
TheXanaxtookcareoftheabsoluteworstaspectofmoderncitylife.Notthefoodinsecurityorthedyingnighttimescreams.Thetoughestdetailtodealwithwastheloneliness.
Shastawasgone.AswereWalterandXavier.Nooneexceptthecertifiablehadstayedintheinnercity,andNicksteeredawidecoursearoundthem.
Ablockdistant,anexcellentexamplelurked.Anakedoldman,hiswristsandanklesflappingwithscrapsofdirtyducttape.Hisemaciatedbodylookedglossywithdriedblood.Whatmightbeahash-markcarpetoftinystabwoundsdottedhisspindlyarmsandlegs.Themanambledalongthedesertedsidewalk.HecaughtsightofNickandwaved.Thebutcheredapparitioncraneditsthinneckandshouted,“Walter!”Inadifferentdirection,itshoutedagain,“Walter!”
Nickturnedtailanddidnotwaveback.
AccordingtoTalbotttheCivilWarhadnothingtodowithslavery.Inreality,thefamousWarBetweentheStateshadbeenjustarusetocullthevastnumbersofIrishwhowereemigratingtonortherncities.Anotheryouthbulgeneutralized.
HefoundanotherboxonSoutheastWoodstockandfilchedthepills.OutsideaburnedhouseintheWestmorelandneighborhoodhefoundapileofscorchedfurniture.Armloadsofclothesstillonhangers.RalphLauren,Gucci,Armani,theseclotheswereillegaltowearnow.Hepickedthroughthepileandfoundagunbutnobullets.Aperfectlygoodguitar.
Theworstaspectoflonelinesswasthesilence.Birdsongwastheonlyregularsoundbesidesthewind.Heswungthepackoffhisbackanddugoutabagofpills.HeplacedtwoXanaxinhismouthandtastedthesweetnessastheydissolvedunderhistongue.OnNortheastMississippiAvenuehefoundathirdboxandtoreintoitscontents.
TalbotthadspokenslowlywhileWalterandtheassembledmenhadleanedforwardtolisten.“Theburialpitsshouldmeasurethreehundredfeetlongbythirtyfeetwideandtwelvefeetdeep.”Allthewhilestrappedtothesamechair,he’dinstructed,“Thefloorofeachpitmustbesealedwithalayerofquarter-inch-thickpolyethylenesheeting,toppedbyatwo-foot-thicklayerofimperviousclay.”
Tosaveeffortheencouragedconsistency,saying,“Don’teveryonetrytoreinventthewheel.”
Inrecentdays,thebasementhadbecomeaclubhouseofsorts.Aheadquartersorcommandcenter.NaylorandEsteban,themenfromthenarcoticsrecoverygroup,hadcomeknocking.Ontheirheelshadappearedothermen,allofthemapparentlyrecruitedfromsimilargroupsacrossthecountry.
IfWalterhadtoguess,theywereheterosexualsandhomosexuals.Blackandwhite.They’dalljoinedTalbott’snewpayrollandzealouslyfollowedtheever-growingInternetlistofnamesnowdubbedAmerica’sLeastWanted.AndasWalterhadbeendispatchedtocompilehisnotesandhireaprinter,thesemencametoserveasTalbott’sinnercircle.
Eachmanhadovercomehisowndemon,beitheroinorcancer,andnowhewasheretoconquersomethingbigger.Asthey’dcrowdedaroundTalbott’sknee,he’dtoldthem:
Flatteryisaddictive.Convinceothersthey’respecial.Assurethemtheyhavetalent.Makeyourselfthesourceofpeople’sself-worth.Doingsobindsthemtoyouanditpreemptsthemfromdeveloping
theirskillsandprovingtheirtruepotential.
Asthey’dpassedcansofbeerandbagsofchips,he’dtoldthem:
Assemblyisexpression.Individualsmustbegrantedtherighttoassociatewiththoseandonlythosetheyselect.Thegroupsthatresultshallnotbecompelledtoopentheirrankstothosetheywishto
exclude.
Deliriousfromsomanytinyinfections,Talbotthadranted:
Behorrible,existasahorriblethreat,andatthemomentofyourgreatestpowerstayyourhand.Byhurtingpeopleandthennothurtingthemyouacquiretheirlove.
He’dtoldthem:
Imaginethere’snoGod.ThereisnoHeavenorHell.Thereisonlyyoursonandhissonandhisson,andtheworldyouleaveforthem.
Ifthey’dlaughed.Iftheysparkedtoanidea,noddingtheirheadsinagreement,TalbotthadsnappedhisfingersforWaltertomakenoteofit.He’dbeenroadtestinghisconcepts.Ifthesemenengagedwithanideaandsecondeditbyofferingupexamplesfromtheirownlives,TalbotthadknownitwasvalidforawideraudienceandhadlookedtoWaltertoputitintotheupcomingbook.
TalbotthadexplainedthatwhileAdolfHitlerhadbeenaprisonerinLandsbergPrison,hiscellhadbeenthesiteofaconstantparty.Peoplebroughtbeerandfood,visitorscrowdedtheroomwhileHitlerregaledthemwithhisideas.Theideasthatresonated,thatmadeHitler’slistenerssmileinrecognition,HitlercollectedthoseideasintohisfirstdraftofMeinKampf.Theseideaswouldengagethelargestnumberofpeople.
AndsoTalbotthadconductedasimilarback-and-forthdialogwiththemenwhomadetheirpilgrimagetoconsulthim.Thesemen,ClemandNaylorandBing,he’dtoldthem,“Inthefutureeveryonewillbeshotforfifteenminutes.”
RufusandL.J.,hetoldthem,“Onlytheleftear,please.”
Walter’snewoldman,he’dexplainedthatthebestfeedbackwouldbeagrunt,asnort,amoan,anynoisetoprovehe’dhitanervewithsometruth.Thebestfeedbackwasneverfilteredthroughlanguage.Atmostitmightbean“Amen”ora“Fuck,yeah.”Someprofaneformof“Hallelujah.”UntilthebookoffragmentsbecamelikeMao’sbookofquotationsorPoorRichard’sAlmanack,acollectionofaphorisms.
Talbotthadexplainedthatwhattheywerecomposingwouldbeasutra.TheTalbottSutra.LikeTheGoldenVersesofPythagorasorthebiblicalEcclesiastes.Itwouldserveasthenewconsciousness.
AmodernMeinKampfasitwere.
Theywouldpublishitsamizdat,liketheSovietdissidents.InthemannerofAndreiSakharov.AnddistributethecopiesviathegrowingnetworkofClemsandDawsonsandCharliessnakingman-by-manacrossthenation.
Andstillcertainthatsomehowthiswouldmakehimarichman,thiswouldwinhimShasta’sheart,Walterhadwritteneverythingdown.
Becauseoftheyellingthepoliceshowup.Becauseit’saftermidnightandBingwasachieftainofthefirstlineage,thismeanthelicopterscirclingtheneighborhoodandsweepingtheareawith
searchlights.Becausethepoliceareforeverandeverywhereafterthesamedeal:Didyoufight?Didhefightyou?BecauseFelix’smashakesherhead,headdown,becauseshefiguresthisissomehowherdoing.BecausethenDeliciouswalksinthedoor,going,“Belle,what’syourFelixgoneanddonenow?”
BecauseDeliciousdoesn’tknowit’sherassatstake,too.Becauseit’severyone’sbuttontheline,becauseifthetruthcomesoutthenBelleandDelicious,JarvisandGentrywillgointodetentionassuspectdetainees,forever.Becausenobodyprioritizesacceptingdamagedgoods.BecausethenewlydeclaredhomosexualsofCaucasiaandBlacktopiabeingheldindetentionelsewherearegoodforahalfmillionTalbottsoranewfreshsomebody,sowhysettleforsometraitorwhomevenGaysiawantsridof.
Becausetheparamedicsaredebridingthecutsandscratchesonhisfaceandneck.BecauseFelixlooksalmostasbeatupasthedeadbodyofBing.BecausefolksleaningouttheirbedroomwindowsheardBing’slastwords,clearanddistinct.Becausepeopleliveintheforever-aftershadowofthatKittyGenovese,thelesbianwhowasstrangledandstabbedandstrangledandstabbedwhilesomeentirecityfullofonlookersfailedtotakeaction.Becausesomanypeopleleanedoutwindowsbackthenandnevercalledthepolicebecauseayoung,prettylesbiangettingherselfbutcheredwasn’ttheirproblem,becauseofthateveryonechimesinrecitingBing’syelled-outlastwords.
TohearFelixtellit,heandBinghadbeenpeacefullysmokingdopeinthealleyaroundmidnight.Intheversionhetoldtheinvestigatingofficers,Binghadbeentellingstoriesaboutthesuccessofhislineage,andhowhe,Binghimself,hadjourneyedtoabasementinPortland,Oregon,andhadanaudienceinthepresenceofthevenerableTalbott.Binghadn’tbeenanobody.Asachieftainofthefirstlineage,hisdeathcalledforamassiveinvestigation.DogshadbeendispatchedtotrackpossibletracesofBing’sbloodonanescapingkiller.
EvenastheparamedicsdebridedthecutsandscratchesonFelix’sfaceandneck,hetoldthemwhathewantedtotell.BecausenooneexceptFelixhadpaidmuchattentiontoBingasoflate.Because,frankly,Bing’sone-daywarstorycouldbeaboreandbecausepeoplehadmoretofretabout,whatwithspermdrivesandbiologicalcarriercommissions.Becausepeoplewouldneversayasmuch,buttheywerebeginningtoquestionthegreatnessofGaysia,thegaypromisedland,andbecausetheymissedthekick-up-your-heelslifestylethey’dlivedunderheterosexualoppression.It’sbecauseofthisguilt—guiltoverdoubtingGaysia,guiltoverKittyGenovese—thatalltheearwitnessesrepeatedBing’slastgaspedwords.
It’sbecauseofthemFelixsaidwhathefinallysaid.Becausehedidn’tsayitatfirst,notrightaway.Becauseheknewitwouldtriggeraninternationalincident.Becausehedidn’twantthisnation,Gaysia,tobeatwar,becausewasn’tAdjustmentDayaboutsavingagenerationfrommilitarycemeteries?
Becausewhyshouldstatesmengettosnuffoutthelivesofmenbarelyabletovote?ButbecauseFelixdoesn’twanttoseehisfolksinternment-camped,andbecauseheneedstobuytime,becauseanysimpleDNAtestwillproveit’shisDNAandonlyhisDNAgrabbedalloverBing’scorpseandclawedunderBing’sfingernails...becauseeveryone’sbayingforbloodandjustice...Felixsaysitwasagangofstrangers.Becauseit’splausible,andbecausethisgainshimtraction.BecauseFelixwasquicklyreplacingTalbottoneverychannel,thesatellite-relayedimageofhim,becausehehadallofGaysiahangingonhiseveryword,becausehewasalreadypackingagetawaybaginhismind,packinghisfavoriteshirtsandanextrapairofshoes,andbecauseFelixneededthatcrucialheadstarttomakehisescape,that’sthereasonFelixfinallysaidwhathedid.
“Straights,”hetoldthetelevisioncameras.“Straightguysbashedhim.”
ItneverfailedtoleaveShastaastounded.ThesamesunthatwarmedherneckatthismomenthadalsowarmedHitler’s.ThestarsshecouldseefromhermarriagebedwerethestarsthathadtwinkledaboveinfamousNazideathcamps.Howhumansorganizedtheirsocietyandconductedtheirlivescountedfornothinginthegrandscheme.
Treesweretakingrootontheburialpits.Theimportantpartsofliferemainedaconstant.Peoplefedtheirchildren.Peoplecouldonlytrulyhatethosewholivednextdoor.Justaslifehadbeenbefore,everyonewaspreoccupiedbystayingalive.Wateralwaysfoundanewlevel.Anewnormal.
Thefieldwives,forexample.Theyroamedthethrivingrowsofkaleandsquash,eachwomanswollenwithachild.Allofthem,Charlie’soffspring.Sooneverydaywouldbemarkedbythebirthofoneormoreheirs.InanotheryeartheestatewouldbeoverrunwithtinyCharlies.
OnerealpossibilitywasthatShastaherselfwastheproblem.Thepartypooper,asitwere.Ifshe’dbeenbornintothismomentshe’dseeonlypeacefulwomendoingusefulworktothesoundof
mandolins.Wellfed,theywereallhealthyandplumpwiththeirfuturechildren.Ifshehadn’tknowntheworldbeforeAdjustmentDayshewouldn’tseethisEdenicscenethroughsuchacynical,bitterlens.Thesefuturechildrenwouldacceptthislifeasagiven.Theideabothcomfortedandenragedher.
Astheylaboredovertheweedingchores,Shastawentaboutherusualsearchamongtherootsandfurrows.Thesunwarmedthehoodedcowlshewore,edgedwithdecadentfakeocelotfur.Abandofrovingminstrelspluckedlutesandcroonedballads.
Awaveofnauseasurgedupfromherbelly,andshefoughttheurgetopukeonarowofmaturingparsnips.Shecouldbe...HeavenknowsCharliehadsewnplentyofseedinher.Sheshudderedatthepossibilityofbecominganotherbroodmarefortherapaciouschieftain.
Ameekfigureshuffledforward.Thegirldidn’tspeakbutstoppedanarm’slengthaway.Alacycapheldthelonghairgatheredatopherhead.Alightveilofnettingcascadedoverherfacetoprotectheryoungcomplexionfromthesun.Herhumble,downcastgazeremainedonherownrusticwoodenclogs.
Thegirlreachedintoapocketofherapron.Shewithdrewawadofsoftcloth.Atinybundleofjoy.Aswaddledtreasure.Woundaroundit,astrandofcarefullyknottedstringkeptitclosed.Shelookedfurtivelyfromsidetoside.Theotherfieldwivesseemedfrozeninthemoment.Awomanintheneardistancenoddedslowly,once.Seeingthatsignal,thegirlofferedthebundleoffabric.
HereyesmetShasta’sforaninstant.Shastareachedtoacceptthegift,andsomethingcaughtherfocus.Thegirlworelongsleeves.Longskirtsandlongsleevesweretherule.Butatthecuffofthesleeveasmoothpatchofherwristshowed.Aboldblue-blacksymbolstoodoutagainstthepaleskin.AthornyuppercaseletterR.
Beforeacceptingthegift,Shastapluckedatthesleeve.Whenthegirldidn’tpullaway,ShastaslidthesleeveuptorevealanIandanO.Inkedacrosstheinsideoftheforearm,fromherhandtothecrookofherelbowwerethewordsRIOTGIRRRRRRRL.
Thismodestlass,withhercringingdemeanor,notlongagoshe’dbeenabadassbitchgoddess.Thistimidwaif,herbellymadehugebyCharlie’sdeeds,she’dbeenakick-assrollerderbywarrior.
NowShastasurveyedthefieldswithnewunderstanding.Thesewomenhadallbeenbikemessengersandbasketballstars.Todaytheywerehunchedfieldwenches,doomedtoimminent,repetitivemotherhood.Butnotayearbeforethey’dbeendrummersinrockbands.They’dbeendope-smokingfirewalkersandhairlesspoledancers.
HowlongagohadAdjustmentDayoccurred?Withoutcellphonesorcalendars,itwasimpossibletotrackthedays.Onlytheweathersuggestedtimepassing.
Shastaletthegirl’ssleevedropbackintoplace,hidingtheevidenceofherformerself.ThegirlgentlyplacedthetinybundleinShasta’shandandshuffledawayquickly.Behindheranotheryoungwomanwaitedtopresentyetanotherbundleoffabric.Mostlikely,wordhadgottenaroundamongthewomenfolk.MostknewwhatprizeShastahunted.BehindherathirdwomanwaitedtogiveShastaherownfragiletribute,wrappedjust-soforsafekeeping.
Checkingthetypesetpagesforthebook,Walterhadmarveled.
ThisbookcombinedwiththeInternetgimmickofTheList—itwasadrug.Astheauthorhimselfhadputit:
AGoodBookShouldGetYouHigh.
Itreadlikepornography.
Whathisnewoldmanhaddictatedtohimamountedtoapornographyofpower.
Walterhadknowntheformula.Thebiggestbestsellersinhistoryhadbeentargetedatchildrenandyoungadults.Peoplewhohadnopower,theywerestarvedforstoriesdepictingsimilarkidsattaininganultimatepower.FromHarryPottertoSupermantoLukeSkywalkertoRobintheBoyWonder,itwouldseemthatallkidswantedtodeveloptheirownlatentsuperpowersandtoseetheirparentsdead.TheTalbottbookdeliveredonbothcounts.Theunemployedandunderemployedsteamfittersandpressoperatorswouldseethemselvesslaytheiroppressorsandthenrisetoruletheirownfiefdoms.
Itamountedtoapornographyofbeingright.Noorgasmwouldbeassatisfyingasprovingeveryone
elsewrong.Nosexualcontentcouldcompetewiththerushmengotfromwinning.AndtheTalbottbookwasaboutnothingifitwasn’taboutwinning.
Talbott,theoldcoot,heknewwhatmencravedmost.
Ashe’dperusedthebook,WalterhadtakenShasta’searplugfromthepocketofhisshirt.He’dheldittohisnoseandinhaled.Thistalisman,somethingawitchmightusetosummonupthedead.Spongy,tittypink,itwasanartifactcoatedwithherdeadskinandinternalsecretions,thisrelicdugoutofthesideofherhead.HisnosecouldconvincetherestofhimthatShastawassittingherebesidehim.
Shasta,he’dknown,she’dhatethebook.ShemightgrooveontheprescribedRenaissanceFairethreadsandresurrectedfaux-Nordicculture.Shedidhavehertattoo.Acrossherchestitread:MiteinemSchwertindeinemHerzensterben.Whateverthatmeant.She’ddigtheproposedmedievalcastlelifestyleandstillhatethebook.
Butshe’dlovethemoneyitwouldbringthem.
Shastawouldtakeonelookattheworlditproposedandshe’dtossthebookintothetrash.Well,notthetrash.Shastawouldtossitintotherecycling.
Afterthat...Rightafterthat,she’dcallupBeyoncéandflyonsomeprivatejettogoshoeshoppingonBondStreetinLondon.WithMadonna.AndWalter’screditcard.
Acurtainseparatedthem.Akintoastagecurtain.Apalesheetofmuslindidhangfromtheceilingofthechamberwiththeroyalphysicianandasizablecontingentofthecourtfacingit.Anoddhundredorsogrooms,squires,valets.Somethingunseenontheoppositesidestirredthefabric,andPhysicianTerrencebade,“Ifyourhighnesswilldousthehonorofpresentinghimself...”
Todate,royalprotocolremainedatbestsemisolid.Thusthebeststrategy,lestthephysiciangiveoffense,wastohewtoamoodofloftyWhite-Speakformality.Asnowhesatuponacarvedwoodenfootstool,hereachedforwardandwithhisfingerspokedatthecurtainuntilhefoundaholetherein.Hewiggledanindexfingerwithinthehole.“Simplydisplaytheroyalscepter.”Fancyworkofsilkenembroiderydidedgethehole.
Theassembledcompanyeyedtheholeandwaited.
Terrencewithdrewhisfingersandwaited.Toputhisroyalpatientatease,herecollectedhisownmiraculoushealing.Howhe’dbeenabedriddeninvalidsinceinfancy.HowamercifulhospitalnursehaddeliveredtohimacopyoftheTalbottbookonbehalfofhisabsentfather.Withhisfather’smarginaliaasencouragement,Terrencehadovercomehisdomineeringmother,awomanwhoseentrancingwordscouldprompthimtoviolentseizures.
Facingthecurtain,hedidrecounttheepictug-of-waroverhiscatheter,andhowthestrugglebroughthismothercrashingtothefloor.HowtheTalbottbookitselfhadstrucktheknock-outpunchandbrokenhernose.Brokenthenosesothatitwouldforeverliesidewaysagainsthercheek.
Ofthecatheter,thecatheterhadrippedfree.Intensehadbeenthepain,buthistackleremainedintact.Foiledhadbeenanyattemptatcastration.
Terrence’sfingersproddedimpatientlyattheembroideredhole.Still,nothingemergedfromtheoppositeside.
OfchiefconcernthisdaywasthelargenumbersofsexualcontactsChieftainCharliehadenjoyedasoflate.Morespecifically,whetheroneofsaidencountersmight’vecommunicatedasocialdiseasetohishighness.Asthephysicianunderstoodthesituation,hishighnesshadgrownconcernedovercertainphysicalchangesofanintimatenature.Nonetheless,therewaslittlethatcouldbedonewithoutaninspection.
“Ofgreatestimportanceisthatwedetermineaprognosis,”saidTerrence.Herehequotedfromtheblue-blackbook:
Thewayofmanisnottohopebuttotakeactionandproduceresults.
Atthisthemuslinfinallystirred.Bulgedidit,andtheembroiderededgesofthesmallholebegantospreadapart.Withanupraisedhand,thephysicianforbidanyman’sutteranceassomethingwanandshriveledmadeitstimidentranceamongthem.
Thenextmorningwhenshebroughtthebreakfasttray,Arabellawastransformed.Asfarbackas
MissJocouldrecollectthehousekeeperhadbeenahunchbackedoldfrump.Inrecentyearstherehadbeensomethingincreasinglyclownishinthedefeatedwaythewomanhadploddedaroundthehouse.Afringebenefitofkeepinghelpwashowwaxingfloorsandpolishingsilverworethemout.Forthesamereasonbrideschooseuglybridesmaidsforawedding,havingthehousekeeperaroundmadeMissJolookremarkablywellpreserved.
Untilthismorning,thatis.ThisArabellawasastranger.Herknottedlimbshadgrownslenderandsupple.Inplaceofherstaiduniformsheworeaflowinggown.Adashiki,MissJodredgeduptheword.Thegarmentmovedlikewateroverthewoman’ssmoothskin,thematerialaccentedwithradiantemeraldsembeddedinitsweave.
Thefrizzedmopofhergrayhairhadbeenchangedintoalustrousmaneoflong,auburncurls.Hercrackedhandsandfacegleamedsobrightwithreflectedlightthattheylookedwetwithperfumedoils.Thoselovelyhandsborethetray:twopoachedeggs,ahamsteak,anEnglishmuffinwithbutterandmarmaladeontheside.
“MissJosephine,”shesaidinavoiceasnewasherappearance,“Mr.Jamalaskedmetoconveyhisapologies.”Thisvoiceresonatedwithanelegantdepth.Avelvetrumble.“Affairsofstaterequiredthathedepartlate,latelastevening.”
ShewassolovelythatMissJo’sfirstimpulsewastodischargeher.ButthiswasnolongerMissJo’shouse,andArabellawasnolongerinheremploy.
ThehousekeeperwassolovelythatMissJocouldonlylookawayinpainedresentment.Catchingsightofherownreflectioninasilverteaspoonshefeltherstomachshrivel.She’dstainedandpoisonedherselfintothisgamboling,sinisterelf.Doingso,yes,she’dcementedherpositioninthisnewnationstate,butatwhatcost?Clearlyshenolongerbelongedhere.
Pretendingtobeengrossedinbutteringhermuffin,sheremarked,“Arabella,thatfrockisextremelyflatteringtoawomanofyoursize.”
Arabellalaughedsoftlyinhernewthroatytones.“It’snottheensemble,”shesaid,“it’sthetransformationofmypeople.”
ShedescribedhowwhitemenhadalwaysbelittledAfricanblacksforneverinventingthewheelortheplow.ThetruthwasthatAfricanshaddisdainedanytoolsthatdisfiguredtheEarth.BlackshadanalliancewiththeEarththatstretchedbackthroughalltime.Anyrequest,theplanetgranted.Thathadmadethecontinentsorichinresources.Thelandenjoyedincubatinggoldanddiamondswithinitswombtodelighttheblackhumans.Andthehumansinturnwouldneverscarthelandwithroadsorplowedfurrows.
“WhenthewhitemanenteredAfrica,”Arabellacontinued,“weexpectedhimtohavethesamerespectforthesacredland.”
Butbecausethissoilwasnothiscradle,theEuropeanhadrecognizednothingexceptthewealthhewantedtoplunder.Amanwho’dneverapproveofabortion,amanwhoprofessedtosanctifylife,hetoreopenthewomboftheEarthandrippedoutthegiftsthathadbeenpreparedandharboredthere.Whiteoilwellsandpitminesguttedtheland.Andwhattheplanethadproducedtorewardthestewardshipoftheblackrace,thewhitemanlootedandspiritedaway.
ArabellaregardedMissJowithacool,disdainfullook.“Sincethattime,mypeoplehavelearnedtokeepourspecialpowersconcealed.Goingbackhundredsofyears,we’vehiddenourtruetalentsandwisdomoutofthefearthatthewhitemanwouldabusethoseaswelltoincreasehishordeofacquisitions.”
MissJolookedatherhands,chemicallydiscolored,andfeltadeepshameforthehistoryofhergreedyrace.Shefelthumiliatedbyherownburnthair.Withoutquestion,thewhiteman’sfollyandguilthadbeenbequeathedtoher.
“Ofallpeople,onlyMr.Kingcameclosetoexposingthetruemagicofblackpeople,”Arabellaexplained.“Formanyyearswedebatedkillinghimforourownprotection.”
MissJosephinelistenedinamazement.“BlackskilledMartinLutherKingJr.?”
Arabellascowled.“NotDoctorKing...,”sheexclaimed.“WehiredamantokillStephenKing.Unfortunatelytheassassinwasinept,andtheintendedhit-and-runwasafailure.”
Intheauthor’smasterpiecenovels,shesaid,bookssuchasTheShiningandTheStandandTheGreenMile,Kinghadalmostconvincedwhitepeopleofthemajesticuncannypowersblackskept
underwraps.
Withoutprompting,ArabellashookoutthelinennapkinandtuckeditintothenecklineofMissJo’shousecoat.Thehousekeeperliftedtheknifeandcutasmallsquarefromthehamsteak.Withthefork,carefullysheplacedthemorselintotheoldwoman’smouth.“Noweat,”shesaid.
Speechless,MissJomutelychewedthatsamebiteofham,overandover,likeacowwithitscud,unawareasthemeatwasreducedtoatastelessmush.Silenceandexpectationboredownuponher.Finally,sheventured,“So...wherewasthefire?Why’dJamalflyoutofhereinsuchahurrylastnight?”
Inresponse,Arabellasteppedtotheroom’ssmalltelevisionandtouchedabutton.Thescreenfilledwithtinypeople.Atorch-bearingmob.
“Youknowthatboyisholdinghisownsecrets,”thehousekeepersaid,watchingthecrowdedscreen.“You’veseenthewayhestudiesthoseoldpaintingsofyourancestors.”
Ontelevision,anoceanofrioterssurroundedastatelybuilding,throwingrocksandbricksagainstitscarvedfaçade.Gunshotsrangoutandpuffsofdustshowedwherebulletsricochetedoffthestone.Therewasthebrightsoundofglassbreaking.
Aclosershotrevealedthetall,ornatewindows.Theyframedthefacesofpeopletrappedwithin.Handsomeandbeautifulbuttrappednonetheless,allthosefaceswereblack.
Talbott’sintuitionhadbeenspot-on.The1960shadtorndownallthepatternsforliving.Sincethen,generationshadwanderedthroughtheirlivesinsearchofanewsharedblueprint.Theanswerwasn’tCommunismorFascism.NorwasitChristianityorCapitalism.Politicalactivismandeducationwerebothrevealedtobecorrupt.Thegreatestaccomplishmentofmodernmanhadbeentodoawaywiththoseconstrainingmodels.
“Theonlyqualitythattrulyunitesusisourdesiretobeunited,”he’dalwaysinsisted.“Whatmenwantisastructureforcommunion.”
Untilrecentlyourcircumstanceshaddrawnustogetherandkeptusunited.Oursharedproximityasnext-doorneighbors.Ascoworkersatourjobsandcongregantsinourchurches.Asclassmatesinschool.Allofthesestructuresbroughtpeopleintocommunitywithregularity.Butaspeoplebegantomovehouseholdssofrequently,whenjobsbecamelessstable,andchurchesbecamelessrelevant,we’dlostreliablecontactwitheachother.
AsTalbottsawit,raceandsexualpreferencehadtobecomethelastbastionforcommunity.Asallthegrandunitingnarrativesfloundered...whenallthetenuous,externalcircumstancesfailedus,we’dbeforcedtoformourranksbasedonourmostbasicelements:skincolorandsexualdesire.
Walterhadseenit.ClearlyhisnewoldmanintendedthebookasavehicleformakingWalter’sfortune.Themen,thoseJamalsandEstebans,theywerethefootsoldiers,theadvanceguardopeningthemarketforthebook’swiderintroduction.Thoserubesandpreppers.Herewerefaux-profoundthoughtstoreplacetheslogansthatadvertisinghadplantedinpeople’sheads.
AccordingtoTalbott,onlyconsumptionremainedasameansofself-expression.That’swhymen’sonlyresponsetobeautywastoconsumeit.Thusbeautybecamepornographysoitcouldbeconsumed.Statuswasmeasuredbylevelsandqualityofconsumption.Ofpeople’stime.Oftheirenergies.Cannibalismcouldn’tbefarbehind.
What’smore,astheTalbottbookdecreed:
SuicideIstheUltimateActofConsumption.
Andbyextension:
CivilizationIsConsumingItself.
ThathadbeenhisexplanationforwhyWesterncivilizationsweredwindling.CitizensofthewhiteDiasporawereconsumingthemselveswithdrugs.Blackswithviolence.Homosexualswithdisease.
Intheirtapestry-linedhoneymoonchamberShastafoundhernewhusbandhurriedlyfoldinghosenandsurcoats.Hesteppedtothegargantuanwardrobecabinetandstrippedthedry-cleaningplasticoffahouppelandeofrich,royalbluevelveteenaccentedwithscuttledpiping.Asuitcaselayopenacrossthefootoftheirenormouscanopybed,halffilledwithkiltsandtabards.Charliepackedhisfavoritecodpieceamongthem.
WhenShastawenttoembracehim,heshookheroff,saying,“Notrightnow.”Histonewasgruff.“Acouncilofchieftainshasbeencalledtoassemble.”
AgondolierhadbeenhiredtopoletheroyalbargedowntheColumbiaRivertotheruinsofPortland.Therethelineagewouldgatherinaloftyboardroomperchedatoponeoftheremaininghigh-risesintheabandoneddowntowncore.RumorhaditthatPortlandhadlongagooutstrippeditsat-homebathtubproductionoftempe.Theirstoresofsoyexhausted,thedenizenshadtakentodevouringeachother.Thetranquilgardencitynowstanklikeanopengrave.Thisjourneywouldholdnoappealforanyofthechieftainswho’dbeensummoned.
Undeterred,Shastaapproachedhimoncemore,andshelightlyfingeredhismerkin.Thetensioninhisbodyrelented.Shedroppedtoherknees.DeftlystrippingasidehisscabbardandunlacinghisVenetianbreeches,herhandsdiscoveredhisflaccidprideandcommencedtheirkneading.
Withajarringwince,Charliecried,“Ouch!”
Shasta’sfingerscontinued.Moregently.
“Watchit,”heprotested,hisvoiceweaker,faint,carriedawaybythepleasureofhertouch.
Shasta’smouthjoinedforceswithherhandsintheirwifelyduties.Thenauseastirredinherbelly.Despitehervoluminousorganzaskirtsthestonefloorhurtherkneecaps.
Hisheadlolling,Charliewhined,“Ifeltsomething.”
Hermouthpausedinitstasksoshemightdrawabreath.“Noduh,I’dhopeso.”Shequelledthebitchinessinhervoice.“Iamhonoringyourhighness.”
Hemoaned.“But...”Hiswordsfailed.“ButGaysia,thepeopleofGaysiahaveoverrunourembassyandtakenourdiplomatshostage...”
Muttering,slurringhiswords,deliriouswithsensation,herhusbandwentontoannouncethatGaysiahaddeclaredwaragainstbothCaucasiaandBlacktopia.
ThenewscaughtShastaoffguardandshegaggedaninstant.Hergorgerose,threateningtoscaldtheroyalmanhoodwithbiliousdigestiveacids.Afinegoing-awaygiftthatwouldmake.Onlywithgreateffortwassheabletochokedownboth.
Andoneafternoon,whenWalterhadbeenidlyleafingthroughacopyofthenewlyprintedTalbottbook,theoldmanhadlookedup.Walter’snewoldman,he’dglared,hisbrowfurrowedanddemanded,“What’sthatyou’rereading?”
Walterheldupthebook,showingitsblue-blackcoverandthegildedtitle.
Talbottsnarled.“What’sitcalled?”
Waltranafingertipunderthetitle.“AdjustmentDay.”
Theoldman’sfaceflushedsoredthatfreshbloodspurtedfromtwosmallcutsonhisforehead.“That’snot!”
Walterturnedthebookandreadthetitle.Thatwasit,AdjustmentDay.
Sputtering,salivaflying.“That’snotwhatIsaid!”bellowedtheoldman.
AchillranthroughWalter.Hisheaddidthegrimmath.Howmanybookshadbeenprintedandalreadydistributed?Answer:Allofthem.
Talbottsaid,“Youidiot!Stopthepresses!”
Itwastoolate,butWalterdidn’tsaythat.
“ItoldyoutocallthebookAJudgmentDay!”Talbottranted.
AJudgmentDay.GodonlyknewwhatelseWalterhadmisheard.
Talbottshookhisheadindisbelief.Hesnapped,“Isittoolatetofixthis...typographicalerror?”
AJudgmentDay.Duh.
AndWaltlied.Heputonhisbestlookofsincereconfidence,andhetoldtheoldman,“Don’tworry.I’llfixit.”
ClosingtheTalbottbookandcarefullysettingitaside,thespeakerproclaimed,“QueerbodieshavealwaysbeentheshocktroopsinWesterncivilization.”
AgeneralgrumblerosefromtheaudienceseatedaroundGavyn.They’dbeenhearingthislecturesincethey’drelinquishedthemselvestotheRetentionCenter.
Itwouldhitonthesamepoints:MalcolmXbeingabisexualhustler,JamesBaldwin,thefeministmovementandtheirownNightoftheLongKniveswherethey’doustedtheirfoundinglesbiancontingentinordertomakethemovementmoreappealingtosoccermoms.Thespeechwouldtouchonurbanrenewal.AndtheclimaxwouldbeabouthowHitler’sschoolboycrushonLudwigWittgensteinhadsetinmotionWorldWarIIandtheinfamousFinalSolution.
Everymonthorso,achieftainfromGaysiaarrivedtodeliverthesepeptalks.Toboostmorale.Today’sspeakerwasachieftainofthefirstlineage.AmannamedEsteban.Heraisedhisvoiceinresponsetothegrumbling.
Interrupting,Gavynsaid,“Mysister...”Theroomquieted.“Mysister,Charm,didthemath.Andshesaysnoneofusaregettingtradeduntilwe’realmostforty.”Hewasn’tloud,butthesilencewassoabsolutethathisvoicesoundedhuge.
Anotherkidyelled,“What’supwiththat?”
Thespeakercountered,“Femaleemigrantswillbegrantedfirstprioritysotheycanbegintheproductionofexportsasquicklyaspossible.”
TheyounglesbiansseatedaroundGavyngroaned.Thecampdidn’tlooksogrimwhencomparedtoacareerashumanbreedingstock.
FromthepodiumEstebanstressed,“Thatshouldexpeditetheexchangeprocessbyanumberofyears.”
TheGaysianstance,theirofficialplatformwasthatneitherCaucasianorBlacktopiawantedtofeedandhouseexportsanylongerthanwasabsolutelynecessary.Astimepassedspecialaccommodationswouldbemadetoexchangeexportsasquicklyaspossible.AtradeagreementmightbereachedthatwouldallowcurrentGaysianexportstoemigrateinexchangeforfutureimmigrantsfromGaysia.That’sthereasonthepipelinehadtobeasburdenedaspossible.
TherealitywasthatGavynandhisgeneration,thefirstgenerationtoreachtheAgeofDeclarationsinceAdjustmentDay,wassortingtrashforrecycling.Theywereimprisoned,sleepingindormitories,eatingramennoodlesthreetimesdaily,withnodistractionotherthanseparatingNumber6plasticsfromNumber8plasticsandtinfromaluminum,ataskthatusedtobedonebymachinebeforeslavelaborbecamemorecosteffective.Exceptthatitwasn’tcalledslavelabor,itwascalledoutsourcing.Itwasoff-shorelaborexceptthatitwasn’toffshore,itwaslocatedsmack-dabinCaucasia.Andtheworkersweren’tslavesexceptforthefactthattheycouldn’tleavethecampus,exceptthecampuswashemmedinwithbarbedwireandguardtowers.Anditwasnoble,rewardingworktobenefittheirfutureandthefutureofGaysia,excepttheyspenteverydayslouchedoveracrawling-byconveyorbeltloadedwithstickytincansandsoiledpaperunderaconstantswarmofblackfliesattractedbythestinkofdecomposingyogurtandstalebeer.
Noneoftheexportshadlivedherelongerthanayearexcepteveryweekfeltlikeayear,exceptnoonehadacalendarbecausenoonehadexpectedtobestuckherethatlong,exceptsomerealistswho’dbeguntoscratchhashmarksinthepaintinonebathroomstallsoeveryonecouldgoandcountthedaysatanytimeandbeappalledbyhowlongthey’dactuallybeenbivouackedherepickingthroughthegarbage,exceptitmadenodifferencebecausetheywerestilltrapped,excepteverymonthsomebodyofficialfromthepromisedlandthey’dneverreacharrivedtoraisetheirspiritswitharousingspeechaboutthegloryofGaysia,excepttodaywhenGavynstoodupinthemiddleofthespeech,inthemiddleoftheaudienceandaskedthehorriblequestion.
Heasked,“Ismygenerationcondemnedhereforlife?”
Charmhadsuggestedasmuch.She’dwritten,speculatingthatnoonewouldbetradeduntilthefirstchildinGaysiaturnedeighteen.Notinanysizablenumbers.Yes,thereweresomechildrenin
Gaysia,butnotinnumbersthatmattered.AndeventhenCharmpredictedthatyoungerexportswouldbegivenpreference,justaswomenwerebeinggivenpreference,andthatCaucasiawasmorethansustainingitsownpopulationandthatthemoreexportsitproducedthemorecheapslavelaboritcouldmaintaininretentioncamps.Because,frankly,heterosexualswerejustbetteratreproductionandtheyhadalongerculturalhistoryofmakingbabies,andthefuturewouldbereducedtoaconstantexport-makingracebetweenthenations.
Gavyndidn’twanttoberude.NooneheldagreaterrespectforthechieftainsofGaysia,exceptGavynwantedthetruth,excepthewanteditspokeninfrontofeveryone.Excepthedidn’twanttobethemessengerofbadnews.Exceptnoneofthemwasgettinganyyounger.
“Sir?”askedGavyn,wantingtoshowsomerespectandnotjustbeanag.“Willweeverseeourhomeland?”
ThequestionelicitedascatteredoutburstofapplauseexceptGavynwasn’ttryingtodumpalloverthisEsteban,whowasthekindofgoodlookingwhereifhesmiledatyouyou’dhavetosmileback,exceptyoudidn’tknowwhathewaslikeasapersonexceptforhowhot,exceptthisbroughtCharmtomindandthelasttimetheyplayedthegameofMine/Yourswherethey’dpointoutrandompeopleaspotentialsexpartnersandshout“Mine”or“Yours”likethegameSlugBugwhereyoutriedtoslamyouropponentbysurprise,exceptthelasttimetheywereinLaurelhurstParkGavynpointedouttheskagkingpushingashoppingcartloadedwithprescriptions,Nickhisnamewas,withthecrystal-methcheekbonesandsun-bleachedhairandGavynyelled“Yours”exceptthenCharmpointedoutaguythedoppelgangerforthecuteoneoftheThompsonTwinswiththerattailhaircutwiththehennaandtheskinthecolorofpowderexceptwithoutthebaggy1980sgear,exceptthenGavyngotconfused,exceptwhenherealizedCharmwasplayingbydifferentrules.It’sbecausesheactuallywantedthebestforhim,exceptshedidn’trealizehe’dbeentryingtoslamherandit’sbecauseshereally,actuallydidhavethehotsforthatcrystal-methNickguy.
He’dbeentryingtoirkandembarrassher,exceptallshewantedforhimwashappinesswithaThompsonTwinslookalike,exceptthat’swhatmadeitscarywhenshewrotewithhertheoryabouthimprobablyneveremigrating.It’sbecauseshewasn’thissiblingrival,shewastellingthetruth.
ExceptEstebanredirected,sayinghowhistoryhadamodel.Sayinghomosexualshadalwayslivedwalledinsidemonasteriesandconventswherethey’dpreservedtheknowledgeoftheancientworldandcompiledthesecretsofthenaturalworld,hybridizingsweetpeasandmakingsuretheDarkAgeswouldnoteradicatethelegacyofman’scivilization.
ExceptGavynwasnotthrilledbytheprospectofwatchingpeashavesex,notwhilehisprimehotporn-readyeighteen-year-oldbodywaspickingtrash.AndhewasgoingtosayasmuchwhenanadministratorsteppeduptothepodiumandimpliedtoEstebanthathehadanimportantphonecallbackstage,andwhenEstebanduckedouttogetit,theadministratorleanedintothemicrophoneandannouncedGavyn’sname,notinagoodvoice,andsaidGavynwastogotothefrontofficewherehehadaguestwaiting.
Gavynwenttothereceptionarea,andtherewasagirlwithsomanytattooshehadtowonderifherboyfriendslayinbedaftersexandreadherbodylikethebackofaboxofcereal.Rightthenaskinnyoldmanwithflappingarmskin,hisskinshiningwithdriedblood,anakedbloodyoldmanwalkedacrossthefarsideoftheroom.Astinky,nakedoldman,hischestandbackoozingwithcountlesstinywounds.Gavyncouldn’thelphimself.Hedidanick-inducedfull-bodyshudderandacringingdanceasifhe’dsteppedthroughabigspiderweb.Themanwasn’tNickbuthewascloseenough.Gavynlookedathissisterandsaid,“Yours.”
HardlyhadCharlieglimpsedhisownmanhoodinrecentdays,soconstantlyburiedwasitinoneoranotherofShasta’smoistorifices.Hiddenandlaboredwasitbyher,untilhewasgratefultofatethatShastawashisfinalwiferatherthanhisfirst.Anydaythewivesofhisfieldsandhouseholdwouldbegintopushforthhischildren.Theywouldpopwiththeferocityandfrequencyofpopcorn.Manyhadheblessedwithinminutesofoneanother.Theirfruitingwouldoccurwiththesamerelentlessspeedandrepetitionwithwhichhe’dsewnhislordlyseeds.
Amongthesewomenweremanynothappytobeinservicebeneathhim.
InnofemaleexceptShastahadhismanhoodmetitsmatch.Inherwetembracehehadspenthimselftoooft.Likeaninsatiablesuccubuswasshe!Leavinghimsoflaccid.Almostnumb,yetwerehisexhaustedtesteshypersensitivetoeveryjoltofhiscarriagewheels!
Ithadcomeatanopportunejuncture,thiscallingoftheChieftainsCouncil.IfShastayetwaswithoutabellychild,thattaskwasbeyondhisdoingtoperform.
Althoughintuitionandhopehintedotherwise...Greenwashercomplexionasoflate.Andseveraltimesdidshetakeflightfromhermorningrepasttohurlchunksinthepalacecrapper.Ifkinglywisdomserved,Charliehadplantedwithinherloinsanheir.
HadCharlieagreatsacrificetoThoroffered.Aplentitudeofsweetrutabagasandsavorygorsewasit,insuchabundanceastosatiatethegod.AtpresentasheandhispartyapproachedthesilentcitywasthechieftaingreatlygladhehadacquiredthegoodwillofOdinandLoki.ForthedesertedtownshipofPortlandamountedtonotbutadenseforestonitsoutskirts.Thepassingmonthshadallowedthevegetationtoamassitself,consolidatinganimpenetrablejungleoffloweringbuddleia,thiswovenwithtendrilsofstoutprivet,thisshotthroughwithasuffocatingblanketofjunipertams.Theseneglectedsuburbsconstitutedaformidablebarrier.
Nolesserarmyofstoutswordsmencouldhavehackedapaththroughthismattedwallofhybridtearosesanduntamedlilacs.AnycompanysmallerthanCharlie’swould’vebeenswallowedupbytheonslaughtofpyramidalarborvitae.
Norwasvegetationtheirsoleconcern.Thedementednativesdidposeaconstantthreat,asdemonstratedbyadartingfigure.Astalkingpuppet,askeletaloldmanclothedinnaughtbutasheenofdriedblood.Thisspecter,lancedwithwoundsuncountable,dashedwithinsightoftheroyalcompanyforaninstant.Itshouted,“Walter!”andwasinstantlygone.Vanisheddeepintothedensesedge.
Satisfactorytimehadpassedthatthecitywasdeemedsafe.Safeenough.Moststragglershadeateneachother,andthesurvivorswouldbeweakandfew.Astheroyalprocessionallaboredtoclearapath,faintstrainsofmelodyreachedthem.Unseenwasaplayercraftingatuneonsomestringedinstrument.Thecaptainoftheguardcalledforsilence,andthewoodsmenandknightsstilledtheirhacking.
Nonebutthesongbirdsdisturbedthedeadlycalmofthatghosttown.Themusicgrewinvolume,itssourcecomingnear,untilatlastafiguresteppedintoview.
Emergingfromthethicketofdeathanddesolationwasaman.Littlemorethanaskeleton,hisleatherylimbsworetatteredrags.Thisragamuffin,hisfaceappearedlostbehindarobustbeardandtheshroudofhislonghair.Themanheldaguitarinhisarmsandstrummedit.Soabsorbedinhismusicmakingwashethathe’dsteppedamidsttheroyalentouragebeforestoppinginhistracks.Minushissong,onlythebirdsbrokethesilence.
ReclininginhiscarriagewasCharliecaptivatedbythestranger’stunefulness.Thechieftainhadgrownwearyoftheusualmincingjugglersandyodelers.“Here,vagabond!”hebidfromthevehicle’svelvet-cushionedinterior.“Belongyoutoahouseandmaster?”
Thewastrelglancedupfromhisguitar.Hemadenoanswer,theimpertinentvarlet,butcommencedoncemoretosoftlystrokehisinstrument.
Anaxemaninthechieftain’scompanyliftedhisbladeinsubtlethreat.“Answer,you!”Herearedback,readytolopofftheman’sshaggyhead.“AndansweryeinnonebuttheapprovedWhite-SpeakofCaucasia!”
Charliedidcallagain,“Well,man?Areyoufreetobecomemyslave?”
Thetosspotceasedhismusicmaking.“Whoisitwouldbemymaster?”hesneered.
Anotherintheparty,theroyalphysician,spokeup.“Youunschooledgroundling!ThisisnoneotherthanCharlie,chieftainofthefirstlineage.HusbandofthebeautifulQueenShasta,andliberatorofCaucasia!”
Hearingsuchpraise,Charlieliftedhischin,andhischestswelledwithpride.TodisplayhisvaluableNaugahydegloves,heliftedahandasiftostraightenhisweightygoldcrown.
Themusician’sscowldissolved.Hisfacewentslackwithamazement,andhedrewalongbreath.Hestammered,“Mylord,youarenotunknowntome...”Collectinghimself,heplacedanopenhandoverhisheartandbowedhisheadinrespect.Lookingup,heasked,“Yournoblewife,perchanceissheShastaSanchez,formerlyofSoutheastLincolnStreetwhoattendedFranklinHighSchool,workedpart-timeatStarbucks,andplayedgoalieincityleaguesoccer?”
Silenceseizedallpresent.Charliesensedathreat,arivalperhaps.Warily,heasked,“Knowyouthe
shapelylassinquestion?”
Thestrangerwavedawaytheidea.“No,mylord!Herrenownissuchthatallhereaboutsknowherlegend.”Hesetasidehisguitaranddoffedhisraggedstockinghat.“Wetakegreatpridethatamaidenfromourhumbletownshipshouldbecomeaqueenofthewhitepeoples.”
ThestatementpromptedevenmorepridewithinCharlie’sbreast.Hearingsuchpraise,hetookanimmediatelikingtotheman.“Doyouknowthisplace?”Hegesturedaboutattherottingcondominiumsandtumbledownfreewayoverpasses.Heasked,“Canyouguideusthroughthismorassofthornsastoavoidanybandsofhighwaymenwhoyetremaininthisgodforsakenplace?”
Thephysician,Terrence,inquired,“Howareyoucalled,peasant?”
Themanturneddisdainfuleyesontheasker.“Myname?”growledhe.“YoumaycallmeNick.”
Thestrangerfoldedhisarmsandrolledhiseyesasifweighingtheproposaltoserveastheirguide.Hecockedhishead.Hewetthepadofasoiledfingeragainsthistongueandhelditupasiftocheckthespeedanddirectionofthewind.Nexthekneltandpressedonefilthyeartothecrackedconcreteasiflisteningfortheapproachofhorsemen.Onlyafteralltheprecedingdidhenarrowhiseyesandask,“Towhereisyourhighnessjourneying?”
Amountedcavalieramongthemcalledback,“TheTerminalSalesBuilding!”
Fromanothersteed,asecondcavaliershoutedlustily,“Tothehighestconferenceroomofthesame!Thereagatheringofallthechieftainsshalltakeplace!”
CharlieheldupaNaugahyde-glovedhandtosilencethem.Ofthegrimymusicianheasked,“Knowit,you?”
Makingnowordyreply,themanretrievedhisguitarfromtheground.HestartedawayonfootdownashadowyavenuethatnoneamongCharlie’sattendantshadtakennoteof.Hewavedforthemtofollow,andafteramoment’shesitationthemightyhorsesleanedintotheirtracesandthegreatwheelsoftheroyalcarriagecreakedandturned,andattendantsnumberinginthehundredscommencedtomarchforwardinthestranger’swake.
Estebanlistenedtothevoiceoverthephone.Heknewthathistorywouldeventuallyerasethem,buthe’dneversuspecteditwouldbethissoon.TheTalbottbookhadreadiedthemtodie.Ithadliftedthemfromaddictionandresignation.Ithadgiventhemcontroloftheirworldandtheirownlives.Nowatwhatoughttobethetimeoftheirrejoicing,Bingwasgone.
Estebanrelinquishedthephonetotheclerkincharge.Heexcusedhimselftogotothebathroom.Seatedinastall,hediscoveredhashmarksscratchedinthepaint.Hecountedthreehundredseventy-fourmarks.
InGaysia,Delicioushadherfeetinstirrups,buthermindhadwanderedmilesaway.Wondering,wouldGentrystillloveher?Pondering,haditbeenworththistrial,hidinginacountrywhereshedidnotbelong?
Avoicesnappedherbacktothehereandnow.Shelaybackonanexaminingtablewithherlegsintheair.Curtainsdividedthemfrominnumerablesuchboothsstretchingawayoneitherside.Amaskedfigurestoodbetweenherknees.Asurgicalcaphidthetechnician’shair,buthereyeswerebloodshotandsunkeninexhaustedpitsofbaggy,discoloredskin.“There,nowrest,”shesaid,holdingadrippingpipetteinonelatex-glovedhand.Thetechnicianswabbedthepipettewithawipesmellingofalcohol.Inadistractedtone,shesaid,“Thankyouforyourservice.”
Anation’sfirstgenerationisnosmallevent.Deliciouswasthenesttoacuckoo’segg.Shewasthecuckold,compelledtoraiseastranger’schild.Theenemy’schild.Astheenemywouldberaisingoneforher,figurativelyspeaking.
HernewnationteeteredonthebrinkofWorldWarIII.AndsothatGaysiawouldholdasmanyhostagesaspossible,everywomanofchildbearingagehadbeencalledupformandatoryinsemination.Domesticindustrieshadbeenretooledforthemaximumproductionofwartimesperm.
Inthefacilitythecurtainsflutteredasadragqueeninasequin-spanglednurse’sgetupenteredcarryingametaltraycrowdedwithtinypapercups.Delicioustookoneandgulpeddownamouthfulofwateryorangejuicewhilethedragsang,“Theseedinsideyou,Icanseeitgrowing...,”fromthePaulAnkahit“HavingMyBaby.”
Thedragdisappearedintothenextcubicle,andDeliciousheardthesongstartup,again.Thetechnician,whowas,herself,extremelypregnantunderherscrubs,setasideherinstrumentsandstruggledtohelpDeliciousoffthetable.Onceshewasonherfeetasmockwasoffered,andDeliciousslippedherarmsintothesleeves.Fromanearbycubiclecame,“Thankyouforyourservice.”
Thetechnician,pullingafreshstretchofsterilepapertocoverthetable,said,“Werecommendyouliedownintherecoveryareatoguaranteeresults.”
“Thankyouforyourservice,”saidaman’svoiceinthedistance.
Delicioustoldherself,Anotherangelgotitswings,andsuppressedalaugh.
TokeepupappearancesBellehadbroughtherandwaswaitinginthereceptionarea.Theclinicitselfhadoncebeenanairport.InafewweeksDeliciouswouldreturnthefavorandescortBellebackhereforthesametreatment.TheDixiecupoforangejuice.ThesnippetofPaulAnka.
Thesmockamountedtoamilitaryuniform.Delicioustoldherself,Thosealsoservewhoonlysitandwaitwiththeirlegsintheair,andchokedbackahystericalgiggle.Thestreetsandshopswerefilledwithwomenwearingthissamefloursack.Roomy,itwasdesignedtobewornthroughgivingbirth,subjectingthewearertoendlessroundsofbeingthankedbystrangers.
Theyrodehomeinacab,anextravagance.Attheirdestinationthedriverrefusedtoacceptpayment.Hebegan,“Thankyoufor—,”butDeliciousavertedherfaceandraisedanopenhandtointerrupthim.
Fromtheentrancetothealleywaybesidetheirbuildingamassofcandlesandteddybearsspilledoutontothestreet.Bouquetsofcarnationsfilledtheairwiththesweetnessofrot.Hand-letteredandheart-shapedsympathycardsread“Bing”and“OurHero!”Aqueueofmournersstretcheddowntheblock,eachwaitinghisorherturntodepositabouquetofrosesorafluttering,flashingbunchofMylarballoonsinrainbowcolors.
Acrewoftelevisionnewspeoplepannedthecrowdwiththeirlights.Amanwithamicrophonewalkedtheline,askinghowtheassassinationhadaffectedpeople.Afewweptopenly.Thenewscasterturnedtoaddressthecamera,saying,“Policehavelocatedsecurityfootageofthekilling.They’veannouncedthatanarrestisimminent.”
Thetwowomenhurriedfromthecab,keysinhand,tothebuilding’sdoorway.Behindthemachorusofvoicesshouted,“Thankyoufor...”Theelevatordoorspinchedoffthefinalwords.
Safelyinsidetheapartment,withtheboltthrownandthechainon,Bellecalled,“We’rehome.”Whennooneresponded,shecalled,“Felix?”
Thetelevisionwason.AsalwaysTalbottfilledthescreen.Hetoldthem:
Theworldwantsaunifiedfieldtheory.Athing,onesomethingthatexplainseverything—giveittothem.
DeliciousstoodinthelivingroomasBellesteppedtoherson’sdoorandknocked.OntelevisionTalbottsaid:
Themeasureofamanisnotwhathedoesforwagesbutwhathedoeswithhisfreetime.
WhenBellereappearedshewascarryingasheetofpaper.Fromitsheread,“DearMom...,”andlookedatDeliciouswithbrimmingeyes.
Canadawasatest.LongaftersunsetDawsondrovethebackroadsofwhatusedtobeIdaho.Afterthefugitive,Ramantha,hadfallenasleepheturneddownarutteddirtlanecrowdedbybriarsonbothsides.Nomoonhadrisen.Hefollowedhisheadlightsintothedarkuntilhecouldseeafenceblockingtheirpath.Agatestoodinthecenterwithnosign.Itsdistancewasjustasfarashecouldmakeoutinhishighbeams.
Dawsonreachedoverandnudgedthewoman.“We’rehere.”
Shejoltedawake.Peeredintothenightaroundthem.
“We’reattheborder,”hetoldher.Godonlyknewwhatthatgateledto.Someestatewhereshe’dbetakenprisonerandexecutedinaccordwiththenewlaws.Orwastheresomebackpasturewherethewolveswouldchaseherdown?Eitherwayshe’dbedead.Theyweren’tanywherenearCanada.
Butshe’dnolongerbehisproblem.
Heshutofftheenginebutkepttheheadlightson.Helookedaroundasiftocheckforborderpatrols.
Shesquintedthroughthestreakedwindshieldandasked,“Throughthatgate?”
Henodded.“Hurry.”ThewordsofTalbottwhisperedfromthetruck’sradio,“...thewayofmanisnottohopebuttotakeactionandtoproduceresults...”
Shekepthereyesonthedistantgateasherhandscheckedherpockets.
Dawsonfelttheweddingringstuffedinhisownpantspocket.Hewaitedforsomethanks.Hehadn’tkilledher.He’ddeliveredhertosafety,safetyasfarassheknew.Shewasfailinghistestbigtime.
Forthefirsttime,sheglancedatthetruck’svisor,atawallet-sizedphototapedthere.Itshowedawomansmiling.“Pretty,”shesaid.“Yourwife?”
Helookedatthepictureofhiswife,Roxanne,smilingdownontheminthemurkygreenglowofthedashboardlights.Hesaid,“No.”Hesaid,“Mysister.”
Withoutawordofgratitude,thewomanswungopenthepassengerdoorandsteppedout.Shelookedathimandopenedhermouthtospeak.Hereyeskeptdartingtothegate.Bugsspiraledandflittedinthetwinconesoflight.Thegateglowedwhiteasphosphorusburning,withblacknessassolidasawallontheotherside.Awolfhowledmediumcloseby.Hereyessnappedbacktohim.“WhereinCanada?”
Dawsonmadeashowofliftingonehand,pullingbackhisshirtsleeve,andlookingathiswristwatch.Itwasaftermidnight.Ifshethankedhiminthenextminutehemightnotletherwanderofftoherdoom.Anotherhowlsplitthenight.“OkanoganValley,”hetoldher.Hedescribedprettylittlehousesandorchardsfilledwithcherrytrees.Gardensandlakes.Heassuredherthatonceshe’dpassedthroughthegateshe’dqualifyasapoliticalrefugee,andthey’dhavetoprovideherwithshelterandafreshstartinlife.
Hecouldletherlastthoughtsbeacomfortingfantasy.Sheshouldstumbleintothedarkexpectingtofindloveandacceptance.Oncethatwolfpackcaughtupwithher,notlongafterhe’ddrivenaway,she’dwishshe’ddiedonAdjustmentDay.
Theacademic,Ramantha,shestoodbesidethetruck.Shepulledsomethingfromapocketofhercoatandleanedintoplacethisgiftontheseatbesidehim.Papersomething.Inthedimlightitwasoldmoney,uselesstrash.“Foryourtrouble,”shesaid.Shebeltedthecoattightaroundherself.“Leaveyourheadlightson,”sheordered,“atleastuntilIgetthrough.”
Inquickresolutesteps,shemarchedaway.Centeredinthelights.Hershadowloomedinfrontofher,toweringandterrible.Eachstepraiseddustthatfloatedinherwake.
She’dturnedoutjustliketheothers.Aselfish,gutlesstribewhoconsideredjusttheirownself-interests.Shewasn’tthefirst.Dawsonhadbroughtothershere.Thefirstwasajournalistwho’dmanagedtoescapeAdjustmentDay.Tweedsomething,atelevisionreporter.Thesecondhadbeenanotherthinktanker,adoctor.Dr.Ashanti,atherapistwithahalf-millionvotestohisnameonthelist.Bothhadchargedoffintothedarknessinexpectationofthewarmembraceoflike-mindedliberalprogressives.Athirdhadbeensomedude,acitycouncilmanfromSeattle.Eachofthethreehadgonethroughthegatewithoutsomuchasagoodnight.AfterwardDawsonhadkilledhisheadlightsandsatlistening.Eachnight,thehowlinghadfoundthembeforetheycouldfindtheirwaybacktohistruck.He’dheardthemcrashingthroughthebriarsandscrub.Andhe’dheardthemscreaming.Neverhisname,becausenoneofthemhadeveraskedhisname.They’donlyshriekedforhelp.Forsomeonetohelpthem.Forsomeonetosavethem.They’dscreamed“mister”andthey’dscreamed“please,”andintheendthey’donlyscreamed.
Thisone,Ramantha,washalfwaytothegate.
Dawsonhadthesamethoughteachtime.Insteadoflettingthewolvesshredthisone,heconsideredgunningthetruck’sengine,droppingitintothirdgear,andpeelingout.Hecouldrunherdown.Takeherear.Amercykilling.Awin-winbenefitingeveryoneoncethewolvesfoundhercorpse.
Heslidahandintohispocketandplayedwiththeweddingringhiddenthere.Homewaited.Hehadn’tbeenhomeallseason.He’dspenthisyouthbeingagoodhusbandandamodelemployeeontheshopfloor.Sure,nowhewasachieftain.Ifhewanted,hecouldhaveapasselofwives.Ruleovermultitudes.Butthatjustlookedlikeabiggerversionofthesametrap.Asarulerhe’dhaveto
beagoodhusbandtomorewomen.Andakingamountedtobeingamodelemployeewithcountlesspeopletolookafter.
Hisfingertipsfelttheround,hard,closedcircleoftheweddingring.
That’swhyhe’dbeenontheroadthislong.He’ddiscoveredhehadthesoulofabarbarian.Awarrior.Andwinningwasdeathtothatspirit.Hewantedanewarmyandnewbattles.
Winningwasfine,butnothalfasrewardingasfighting.That’swhythetesting.Tofindjustonepersontoserveashisaccomplice.Apartnertohelphimkeeptheadventureofhislifegoing.
Itcouldbethathe’dlivedatthebottomoftheheapfortoolong.Hecouldonlysavorthefight.Hisconstitutionwasn’tcompatiblewithpeaceandleisure.Whateversidehadtheuphillbattle,that’sthesideDawsonwantedtojoin.
Thefigureofthefugitiveacademicrecededintothedistance.Hershadowagainstthegatewasalmostthesamesizeasher.Theheadlightsblazed,turningherbackintooneblankwhiteshapeofahuman.Hershadowwastheblackversionofthissameshape.Andinanotherstepthesetwoopposingshapeswouldtouch.
Hehadn’twishedthisfortheothers,buttonightDawsonwilledforhertostop.Hishandhoveredabovethecenterofthesteeringwheel,readytohonkthehorn.Towarnher.Still,heknewtherewasnopointinsavingherunlessshewasworthy.Whispering,hebeggedhertostop.Tocomeback.Tojoinhimonhisnextcampaign,whateverthatwouldbe.
Heyearnedtobeaforceforchange,notalandlord.Hiswifewouldn’tstarve,she’dcontinuetoreceivehisallotmentofTalbottbucks,anincomesufficienttomaintainherhundredsofdependentservants.
Asasmallsacrifice,herolleddownhiswindow.Hisfingersproducedtheringfromhispocket,andheliftedittowardthespaceopenabovetheglass.Heletitdropanditfell,bouncingonceagainsttheoutsideofthedoor.Atinychime.Thenitwaslost.
Atthechime,thewomanfrozeinplace.Onehandhadreachedouttotouchthelatch,andthisblazingwhitehandtouchedthefingertipsofhershadowhand.Thenbothhandspulledawayfromeachother.
Sheturnedandbeganwalkingback.
Thewolveshowledcloser,andDawsonlaidonthetruck’shorntoscarethemaway.Heleanedacrosstheseatandpushedopenherdoor.
Sheclimbedin.“Ican’t...,”shesaid,hervoiceflatwithresolve.Herarmsfoldedacrossherchest,shesaid,“Ican’tjustgiveupandforgeanewlife.Notforallthemaplesyrupintheworld.”
Itwasn’tfearofthewolves.Thewomanhadchanged.
Sheglaredintothenight.“Ican’tletthebadguyswin.Ican’tditchmyideals.”Sheturnedtomeethisgaze,hereyesblazing.“GenderStudiesisarealthing,andIwon’tletitbealostcause,notifIhavetofightbackwitheverydropofmyblood.”
Furycloudedherface.Herfrailhandsclenchedintostonyfists.Inavoicehoarsewithvengeance,sherasped,“Peopleshouldreadbellhooks!”
Dawsonhadbeenwrong.She’dpassedhistest.Shewasafighter.Akeeper.
Herfacesoftened.“Wherearemymanners,”shesaid,“Ineverthankedyou...”Sheofferedherhand.“Please,tellmeyourname?”
Atthathetoldher,“Dawson,”andturnedthekeyinthetruck’signition.
MissJohadtakentoreadingtheTalbottbook.Itheldthattheactofstorytellingwasessentiallydigestiveinnature.Webringupatopicmuchlikehowaruminantanimal,acowforexample,bringsuppartiallymasticatedgrassfromitsstomach.Inourstoriesweexhaustouremotionalattachmenttopastevents.Weelicitsimilarstoriesfromothers.Bymullingthingsover—andthewordmullingmeanttogrind,justasruminatemeanttothink—weareabletoassimilatethemostunhappyorhappyexperiencesofourlives.Weacceptthemasnormalhumanevents.Wequittellingthem,andthestoriesbecomepartofus.
MissJo,she’dbeenrecountingthegloryofherfamilyandraceforsolongthatshehadwhitefatigue.TheTalbottbookclaimedthatmankindwassufferingidentifyfatigue.Peoplewerelivingtoolongtoretainasingleself.Therefore,theboldestwereseekinganewfrontier.Menwerebecomingwomen.Whiteswerebecomingblacks.
DawningonMissJowasthefactthatshewastheculminationofalonglineofrebelsandpioneers.Shewasthelastofherbreed,andshewasbonetiredofrepeatedlygivinglipservicetoherillustriousfamilyhistory.Herfamilyhadoutliveditsglory.Itsstoriescoulddiewithher.
Thestoryofherlifewasatastelessmouthofmush.Sherosefromherchairandmovedaroundtheroomturningoffthelamps.Incompletedarkness,herfingertipsfoundthecandleandthematchbookonthelacedoilyonherbedsidetable.
Shelitamatch.
Thebooksaid,“Peopleareaddictedtobeingright.”
ItsuggestedgoingtoadinnerpartyandstatingoverthetablethatthewriterSylviaPlathwasaracistduetothescientificconclusionsshe’dreachedinhermostfamousbook,TheBellCurve.Yourfellowguestswillenjoysputtering,multipleorgasmsofrightnessastheycorrectyou.ExpoundonthefactthatdespiteallofhislegendaryassociationwiththeAlgonquinRoundTable,RobertBenchleydidn’tachievepopularsuccessuntilhewroteJaws.LecturethatmanypeoplebelievetheNewZealandshort-storywriterKatherineMansfieldwasbeheadedinabizarrecaraccidentthattookplaceonaLouisianabridgeheavilyshroudedinmosquitoinsecticide.Thefactofthematteristhatshediedofbluntheadtrauma,buthersignatureblondewigwasphotographedwhereithadcometorestintheshatteredwindshieldofthecar,leadingmanytoconcludeherheadwasseveredfromherbodybytherearedgeoftheflatbedtruckherdriverhadrearended.Concludebysayingthatsinceherdeathallcommercialtruckchassismustcomeequippedwithabarontheundercarriage,calledthe“Mansfieldbar,”whichliftsthevehicleinsimilarcollisionsandpreventssuchfatalinjuries.
“Itmighttakeamoment,”Talbottcounseled,“Butyouraudiencewilldescenduponyou,correctingyouwithalltheyelpingbloodfrenzyofapackofrabidhyenasfellingalonewildebeest.”
Makingothersrightredeemstheirpaltryandpointlesseducations.
Makingothersrightmakesthemloveyou,accordingtoTalbott,becauseweonlylovethingswefeelsuperiorto.Weonlylovethosewhodon’tposeathreat.
Makingothersrightisthebestmethodforcontrollingthem.
Jamalwassavoringasnifterofpre–CivilWarport.Heneededthedrink.Havingrecentlyreturnedfromthecouncilofchieftains,heknewthatBlacktopiacouldn’tavoidawarwithGaysia.
HeraisedhisglasstothepeaceandprosperitybroughtaboutbyAdjustmentDay.Itwouldsoonbeinterrupted.Thefuturewasalreadyuponthem.
Raisinghisglass,hetoastedthemilitarymendepictedintheoilpaintingsonthewallsaroundhim.Eachmanhadfollowedthedictatesofhisconscience.Eachhadbeenaheroaccordingtohistimeinhistory.Theirworldhadbeenadifferentworldthanhis.Jamalhadtoadmiretheircourageanddetermination,eveniftheiractualactsmightseemill-advisedinretrospect.Paintedlikethis,framedandhungtodecoratesomeparlorwalls,theymightbeprimpedandposedforposterity,butthesethugshadbeenthebadassesoftheirday.
HespeculatedthatevensomethingasnobleasAdjustmentDaymightbedeemeddespicableinthedistantfuture.AsperTalbott:
Theweakestpeoplealivewilltrytoglorifythemselvesbytearingdownthetrulyamazingstrengthofthedead.
Tosomeyet-to-be-bornweakling,Jamal’slikenessmightbetheimageofavillain.Jamalonlyhopedthatfuturecowardcouldappreciatethebraveryithadtakentodispatchafailingsystemandreplaceitwithsomethingnew.Facingaspotted,antiquemirror,liftinghissnifterofport,hetoastedhimself.
That’swhenhispitbull,Bouncer,rosefromthecarpetandsniffedtheair.Thedogwhined.
That’swhenJamalhadsmelledsmoke.Theashesinthefireplacewerecold.Asirenblastedfromsomewhereinthehouse,asmokedetector.Asecondjoinedit.Achorusofsirenswailedfromtheceilingofeveryroom.
HismindwenttotheterroristsTalbotthadwarnedagainst.TheloyalistsorCanadianswerecommittingarsoninordertothwartthenewnationstates.Someonepledgedtoreunitingtheformerlyunitedstateshadputatorchtothehouse.Eitherthat,oragentsofGaysiawerealreadyattacking.
Heclimbedthestepsthreeatatime.Thesmokehungheavieronthesecondfloor,heavierstillonthethird.Atthetopofthestairstheatticdoorfelthottohistouch.Hewrappedthetailofhisuntuckedshirtaroundthedoorknob,butitwouldn’tturn.Locked.
Poundinghisfistsonthewood,heshouted,“Barnabas!Openup!”
Afeeblevoiceanswered,“Youdon’tunderstand.”
Thedoorwasalmosttoohottobeatagainst,butJamalslammeditwithhisshoulder.Thecenturies-oldoakwouldn’tbudge.“Unlockthisdoor!”hecommanded,andhisownvoiceshockedhim.Theauthority,hisauthority,boomed.Itwasavoiceforgivingspeecheswithoutneedofamicrophone.
Poundinghisfistsonthewood,heshouted,“Barnabas!Openup!”
Thiswasn’t,thiswouldnotbetheendofhisbook.Atbestthiswouldbethecrisisattheendofthefirstact.Hisbook,BlackLikeYou,neededalotmorewritingbeforehecouldcallitdone.LikeTheThreeFacesofEve,allsuccessfulcasestudiesneededahappyending.
Ifhisstrengthdidn’twork,hiswileswouldhaveto.“Oh,Barnabas,”hebegged,“Ineedyou.Onlyyoucantellmethehistoryoftheplantation.”
Theunseenvoicesobbedinreply.Itcouldn’tbemorethanafinger’slengthaway,separatedfromJamalbyonlythisslabofoak.“Damnthisplace,”itsobbed,“it’sstolenmylife.I’vebeenafooltokeeppraisingthepast.”
InspirationstruckJamal.“Thenleavewithme.BecomeafounderinthegloriousfutureofBlacktopia!”
Somethingfellheavilyagainsttheoppositesideofthedoorandslidtothefloor.Thesmokewasoverwhelming.Whenthevoicespokenext,itspokefromthethincrackatthefloor.There,whereBouncersniffedanddugagainstthefloorboardswithbothpaws,theweak,faintvoicesaid,“Jamal,youdon’tunderstand...”
Hedroppedtothefloorandyelledback,“Iunderstand.”
“Myfamilyhasdeeprootshere,”thevoicewhispered.
Jamalspokesofternow,“Sodoesmine.”
Thedyingvoicesighedwithresignation,“Jamal,I’mnotevenanegro.”
Jamalalmostlaughed.Almost.Insteadheaskedhimselfwhathishero,TalbottReynolds,woulddointhissituation.Andagainsttheroarofthegrowinginfernoandthechoirofshriekingsmokealarms,Jamalbellowed,“I’mnotblack,either!”
Atthatthestairwaylightsflickeredandfailed.Glasscrashedsomewhere,windowsexplodingoutwardorthecrystaldecantersintheparlor,filledwiththeexcellentflammablehooch.Inthischaosofnoise,thedarknessrelievedbyonlyflashesoforangeflame,aneternityseemedtopass.
TheBarnabascreaturewasdead,Jamalassumed,andhehimselfwoulddieifhewaitedatthisdooramomentlonger.
Thedoor’sboltclicked.Theknobturned,andthedoorswungasidetorevealastooped,soot-blackenedimpsurroundedbythepyresofhell.Bug-eyedwithshock,thedemonasked,“Whatdoyoumeanyou’renotblack?”
Thedogwhined,andJamaltoldit,“Go!”Hegotthehellbabytightaroundonewristanddraggeditalong,airborne,ashedovedownthetunneloffirethestairwayhadbecome.
Thebrightestmindsoftheretentioncenterseemedtobepreoccupied.Theguardatthedeskwas
deepinhushedconversationwiththedoorguard.EvenwhenCharmapproachedthemandsaid,“Ineedmybrother,here,tohelpmegetsomethingfromthecar...,”eventhenneitherguardlookedup.Thedoorguardjustwavedherthrough.
CharmandGavynfoundthemselvesstandingonthefrontstepsoverlookingtheparkinglotandthegatebeyond.Amongthecarsinthevisitorparkingspaces,onewastheirmother’s.Inthecarparkednexttoittheafternoon’sspeaker,Esteban,satbehindthesteeringwheel.Heweptfuriously,cuppingbothhandsoverhismouth.Evencrying,hisshouldersheaving,andhischestshudderingwithraggedsobs,hewasstilltotallydoable.
“Mine,”Charmwhispered.
Herbrothersaid,“Youwish.”
Theysidledtowardtheircar.Aguardinatowernearthegateheldarifleatparaderest.Evenfromadistancehelookedgross.
Inunison,bothsiblingssaid,“Yours.”
Gavynsaid,“Jinx.”
Hissistersaid,“Getinthecar.”
“Andgowhere?”heasked.They’dnevergetpasttheclosedsecuritygate.
Charmwavedtotheguardinthetower.Sheclimbedbehindthewheelandstartedtheengine.
Gavyngotinthepassengerside,andtheypulledout.
Bynowthedoorguardandthedeskguardhademergedfromthebuildingandwererunningafterthem.Themaninthetowerheldsomethingtohisear.
Asthecarspedacrossthepavement,astheclosedgateseemedtoraceforwardtomeetthem,thecar’sradiopreached,“Thejoyoffictionisthatitonlyhastosmelltrue.”
Charmscreechedtoastop,leavingsmokingskidmarksontheconcretedrive.Thegatewasmadeupofsteelbarstooheavytoramthrough,electrifiedalso,andtheguardswerealmosttothecar.Akeypadwasperchedatopapolewithinarm’sreachofthedriver’swindow.
Gavynwatchedtheguardsapproachingintherearviewmirrorandsaid,“Busted.”
Charmloweredherwindowandreachedout.Deftly,shepunchednumbers,andthegateswungopen.
Theyspungravel.
Astheguardsshrankanddisappearedinthedistancebehindthem,coughinginthesmokeofburntrubber,Gavynmarveled.“Howdidyouknowthecode?”
Charmthrewhimasmile.“Believeitornot,”shesaid,“Iswappedspitforit.”Shesaid,“Putonyourseatbelt.”
Gavynbuckledhisseatbelt.
Astheyplungedthroughasuccessionofimmolatingparlorsanddrawingrooms,MissJosephinemarveledatherownobtuseness.Thisboy,thisJamal,hisfacewasthespittingimageofsomanyoftheancestralportraits.Hiswasthesamepatricianbrow.Thehigh,thoughtfulforeheadandwidow’speakrecedinghairline.HehadtheslightlyhoodedPeabodyeyelids,theresultofgenerationsofcarefulmatchmaking.
Draggingheronanobstaclecourse,veeringbetweenblazingsetteesandfierysideboards,theyoungmanexplainedthathewasthedescendantofanantebellumslavebythenameofBelinda.Theforgottengraveinthewoods.Thegirlhadbeenwooedbyandsecretlywedtoagreat-great-greatuncleofMissJo’s.
“There,”Jamalshoutedastheydashedpasttheburning,curlingportraitofahandsomeConfederatemajor,“thereismygreat-great-great-greatgrandfather!”
TheBarnabasmarveled,“Soyou’rewhite!”
Jamalwinced.Hescowled,“Hell,no!”Shoutingtobeheardovertheroaringconflagration,hesaid,“Ionlyliedtosaveyourdementedwhite-privilegedass!”
Thescorchedimpstaredbackathiminconfusion.
“But,”headded,“mybloodisyourblood.IamyourlastlivingPeabodykinsman!”
Bellestoodintheliving-roomdoorwayandreadaloudtheletterfromherson.
“DearMom,”itbegan.“WhatIdidwasn’tself-defense.ItwastodefendthoseIlove.Isn’tthatwhatAdjustmentDaywasallabout?”
BellemetDelicious’seyesandthrewaglanceatanarmchair.Suddenlymindfulofherafternooninsemination,Delicioussatdown.
“WhatI’mdoingnow,”Bellecontinuedtoread,“I’malsodoingtoprotectyoursecretandkeepyousafe.”
Faintanddownthehallwayoutsidetheapartmenttheelevatorbellrang.Heavyfootstepsandmuffledvoicesdrewcloser.
Readingfaster,theletterflappinginhershakinghands,Bellesaid,“I’mgoingtotheborderlandstoseeiftherumorsaretrue...Iwanttoliveinasocietybasedonchoiceinsteadofbiologicalcircumstances.”
Fromthehallwaycamethesoundofaneighboringapartmentdoor.Avoiceasked,“Isthisaboutthekilling?”Asurlyvoiceresponded,“Policebusiness!Getbackinyourunit!”
DeliciousnoddedforBelletokeepreading.
Hereyesdartingbetweentheletterandtheclosedfrontdoor,Bellesaid,“Anareapatrolledbywolves.Areasmadeoff-limitsbymountainlions.Thethornsandhornetsandmosquitoeswillserveasmymoatandbattlements...”
Thenoiseinthehallwayhadgonequietwhenapoundingbeganontheoutsideoftheapartmentdoor.Agruff,menacingvoiceshouted,“Police!Openup!”
DeliciousexchangedpanickedglanceswithBelle.Thelatterread,“I’msorryBingisdead.Bingwasmybestfriend.”
Thevoiceinthehallwaycontinued,“WehaveawarrantforthearrestofFelix!”
Deliciousliftedbothhandsasifholdingasheetofpaper.Shepantomimedtearingitinhalf.
Belletoretheletterintwo.
Delicioussnatchedonehalfandwaddeditintoatightball,noddingforBelletofollowsuit.AsBellecrumbledherhalf,Deliciousstuffedtheballintoherownmouthandgrounditbetweenherbackteeth.Belledidthesame.
Thevoiceoutsidethedoorshouted,“Wehavethebuildingsurrounded!”
Withamightygulp,Deliciousswallowedherwadofpaper.Belletried,gagging,herhandsclutchingatherthroat,herfaceturningblue.
Theapartmentdoorburstinward.AnexplosionofsplintersrainedonthetwowomenasDeliciouspoundedBellebetweentheshoulderblades.
Atalljack-bootedfigurewassteppingthroughtheshattereddoor.Adragqueeninaglitter-encrustedpoliceuniform,sportingabadgeheavilylayeredwithrhinestones,demanded,“Where’stheboy?”Pinnedtotheuniformwasanametagwith“Esteban”spelledoutintinyjewels.
Theofficerheldaservicerevolversoheavilycrustedwithsmallgemsthatitwasimpossibletoguessitsmakeorcaliber.
Attheshockingsightofthisblindingcolossus,Belleswallowedhard.Inthatmannertheletterwasresolved.
ThePeabodyMansewasdoomed.Genteelasitwas,thatlegacyofpolishedsilverjulepcupsandrosewoodharpsichords,itwascrashingintofierywreckagearoundtheirears.
WhenitseemedcertainthatBarnabasandJamalwouldperishbeneaththetopplingmassofagrandfatherclock,adog’sbarkdrewtheirattention.Bouncer,withadog’ssuperiorolfactorytalent,hadnavigatedthedensesmoketofindthefrontdoor.JamalandMissJohadonlytofollowthesoundofbarkingandtheyquicklyfoundthemselvesonthefrontporch.
Eventhen,thetoweringGreekrevivalcolumnsthatfrontedthemanse,thosecolumnsweresplittingintheintenseheat.Thegreat,blazingporticofelltowardthemwiththespeedanddeafeningroarofafreighttrain.
Amightyleaptothefrontlawnsavedhumansanddog.Andwhiletheancientfamilyseatcrumbledbehindthem,theyranintothecoolnight.
Panting,MissJosephineworriedaloud,“What’stobecomeofus?”
Sprintingbesideher,Jamalasked,“Yourememberthatbook,TheGrapesofWrath?”
MissJonodded,hurriedly.
“Everythingtheydidtosurvive,”Jamalsays,“weneedtodojusttheopposite.”
AccordingtoTalbotttheirbookwouldchangetheworld.
Walterhadsnorted.“You’rejoking.Thisbookisajoke,right?”
Hisnewoldmanhadlaughedwetly,anoiselikesomeonegargling,andsaid,“That’swhatRudolfHessasked!”Heexhaledforone,two,threebeats,alongtime,deflatingwiththefinalityofadyingbreath.Theribsofhischestfoldedinwarduntilthereseemedtobenothingleftinsideofhim.
Walterhadfidgeted,hishandsreadytotakenotes.He’dbeenlisteningforsolonghe’dlosttheknackforforminghisownthoughts.“Youwroteafantasy.”He’dadded,“Wewroteafantasy.”
Talbott’schinhadsunkuntilitcametosettleagainsthischest.“We’rewreckingthenationtosavethepeople.”He’drested,breathingheavily.“Youngblacksareshootingeachotherinrecordnumbers.Gaysarekillingeachotherwithdisease.”He’dlaboredforthenextbreath.“Whitesarewipingthemselvesoutwithopiates.”Hisframehadsagged.Hisheadhadtoppledforward.
Onlytherestraintshadheldhiminthechairastheoldmanwhispered,“Whetherit’sbybreedingchildrenorpreaching,it’swhatmendo:Thisconstantdisseminationofself.”
“Isthatwhatwe’redoing...,”Walterpaused,“disseminating?”
InBeforeTimes...backbeforethisbookwasabook...hisnewoldmanhadfailedtorespond.
“Thisisjustabook,”protestedWalter.“It’snotsupposedtohappen!”
Theoldmanhadseemedtocollecthisstrength.Liftinghisheadhe’dcontinued,“Weregularlysacrificepeopletopreservethenation.”Hislipshadformedaloose,sloppysmile.“Perhapsweoughttoscuttlethenationeveryhundredyearsinordertopreservethepeople.”
He’dfixedWalterwithblearyeyes.“Thankyou,Warner.”
Walterhadn’tcorrectedhim.
Hisnewoldmanhadcontinued,“You’remyBoswell.”Talbotthadsaid,“Myscribe.”Stenographer.Amanuensis.He’dexplainedthatJeremiahhaddictatedhispartsoftheBibletohissecretary,Baruch.St.Paulhadwrittenthegospelsthroughhisscribe,Terius.St.PeterthroughSilas.St.JohnthroughProchorus.
HitlerhaddictatedMeinKampftoRudolfHess.
“TheBible.”Walterhadlaughedatthecomparison.
HistonehadwarmedasTalbottconfided,“You’reascloseasIwilleverhavetoason.You,you’retheapprenticeeverymandreamsofteaching.Youwillcarrymylifetime’swisdomintothefuturesothatmankindwillbenefit!”
Walterhadsuppressedashudder.
“Theworldwantsaunifiedfieldtheory,”Talbotthadcrowed.“Athing,onesomethingthatexplainseverything—giveittothem!”Hiseyelidsfluttered.Thebloodthathadbeenleakingfromadozen
stubborninfectionsceasedtoflow.“Ifyouwanttomakeyourfortune,buyNaugahyde.”Talbott’svoicefelltoawhisper,“GetagunandreporttoDawsonorJamal.Killthetargetsheassignsyou.”Atthathe’dseemedtodriftofftosleep.Hisheadhadfloppedbackwardandhungoverthebackofthechair,hismouthstretchedopen,histonguelolling.
Walterhadn’tcheckedhispulse.That’showdeadhe’dlooked.NeitherhadWaltercalled9-1-1.Therewerelargerissuesatstake.He’dbeeninthebasementforweekswhiletheoutsideworldhadbeenslowlyandirreparablychanged.Forallhe’dknownpitswerebeingdug.Thelist,America’sLeastWanted,nowstretchedtothousandsofnames.Tensofthousands.TheTalbottbookhadbeendistributedtojustasmanyreaders.Everythingthey’ddone,ithadtobeajoke.Agiantfraud.
Justincaseitwasn’t,WalterhadtelephonedNick.He’dtelephonedShasta.
Shastaturnedvamp.Beguiling,shedidbeg,“Matewithme,milord.”ShedidmakehereyeshalfclosedatCharlie.Shedidparthercrimsonlipsslightlyasifsheweredrunkenwithaharlot’smaddesire.
Scarcelyhadhereturnedfromthetribalcouncilwhenshehadpressedhimforintercourse.Hehadscarcelyvacatedhiscarriage.Thisvagabond,Nick,haddeftlynavigatedthemthroughthewastelandofPortland,toandfromthecouncilsite.Nowhewasstrumminghisguitar.Delightfulweretheman’sharmonies.SuchapleasantcompanionwashethatCharliebidhimreturntoMaryhillandregalethecourtforthedurationofthebountifulgourdharvest.
AsprotocoldictatedCharlieintroducedthislatestplayertohishomewives,hiscourtiers,andhisqueen.
StruckdidShastalookinthemoment,althoughsheinsistedshe’dneverbeforeencounteredthemusicalstranger.ShedidblushheavilyandentreatCharlietoretirewithher,makingmuchofhowhisbeingawayhadspurredinherloinsapowerfullonging.
Retreatingtotheirprivateapartments,shedidsnatchathislacings.Recklesslycastingasidehispearl-studdedcodpiece.Andwithslipperymachinationsofmouthandhanddidshestruggletoexcitehim.
Todatehe’dmatedwithherineverycornerofthepalace,andhewasobviouslyexhausted.HedidtossbackhandfulsofViagratonoavail.Hiskinglyscepterandorbscontinuedtofeelspongyandunresponsive.Theyhunglimpandheavyandcuriouslynumb.Yetsosensitiveweretheirsurfacesthatevenhismostpliantcodpiececausedhimdiscomfort.Theconditionwastheresultofoveruse,theroyalphysicianhadassuredhim.Fromstress,hedidassurehimself.
Despitehisprotests,hisqueenwasoncemorebesieginghim.Despitesurelybeingbynowblessedwithadvancedbellychild,tojudgefromchangesinherbosomandtheabsenceofhermenses,despitebeingsoencumberedShastadidclutchathisNaugahydepantalets.Shedidripherownbodiceandboldlyexposeherself.Hervoluptuousbodybare,hisfavoredwifemaneuveredtostraddlehimandbybrutestrengthforceuponhimherperfumedcharms.
Alasweretheroyalscepterandorbsimmunetohersensualgrabbing.Akintoadeceasedboawashis.Paleandbonelessasalengthofsausagecasingdiditappear,yetShastaproceededtotugatitwithcarnalfury.
Charlieborehereffortswithhusbandlygoodhumor,fortheyborescantpain.Soarduouswereherexertions,hereasoned,thatshe’dsoonexhaustherself.HismindechoedfaintlythetaleofTerrence’smotherandthecatheter.
Untilonemightyyank...Withaheroicjerkthequeenfellbackwardofftheirmarriagebed.Risingfromthecarpetssheheldaloftaprize.Slackandflacciditwas.Rubberyandlimp.Bloodlessasthemoonithunggrippedinherfist.
“Whathaveyoudone?”criedCharlie.“Witch,you!”
“Dude,stopwiththeRennFaire–speak,already!”Shastadidretort.Sheshookthedrippingtrophy.“Noduh!Youeverhearofthebrownreclusespider?”
Thendidshelaunchintoalearnedtiradeaboutsomearachnid.Aspiderthebiteofwhichinjectedatoxinintoitsunknowingvictim.Fortocreatenecrotictissue,wasitsloathsomevenom.Mostoftenpainlesswasthisbite,andtheeffectsweregradual.
“Dude,”laughedthemeat-clutchingfemale,“I’vebeenputtingspidersonyourhighness’royaldingussincethefirstwatercressharvest,duh!”
Overtime,thispoison,thispoisonousspidervenomhadanesthetizedandbeguntobreakdownhisorganofmanliness.Theprogressiveeffectsofmultiplesecretspiderbiteshadgraduallydissolvedthecellularstructures,leavinghistoolofreproductionhardlymorethananelongatedsackofpinkishjelly.
This,thisbladderofgoodidtheenragedqueenripasunder.NowdidsheholdithighaboveherheadanddidshakethebonelesstrophylikeaPolaroidpicture.
Thatquiveringmassofsemisolid,insensatefleshshediddrawbackherpitchingarmandmakereadytothrow.
Charlie,mightychieftainofthefirstlineageofCaucasia,noblelordoftheMaryhillestate,boldkillerofmanyenemiesfromTheList,CharliechosenbyChieftainDawson,CharliethechooserofChieftainMartin,chooserofChieftainPatrick,chooserofChieftainMichael,atthisdidCharliereleaseascreechingwail.
ContinuedShasta,“Ilookedonyourcomputer.”Shedidscream,“IknowwhatyouguysdidtoWalter!”
Withoutpausedidsheflingthewiltedmeatstickagainstabedchambercasementofhighlycoloredglass,throughwhichitexplodedinashowerofredsandgoldsandplummetedagoodlydistance,wrigglingdownfromthecloudlesssky,towhereitflopped,bouncingdamplyatthefeetofmanyfieldwiveswhorecognizedtheiteminstantlyasitthuddedamongtherowsofSwisschardandzucchini.Thereinthedustdiditcometorestandwastherelicimmediatelyseizeduponbyhungry,devouringants.
Wailinginhorroratthewetcraterthatwasallthatremainedofhisscepterandorbs,Charliedidsquealforhisguardstoseizeher.BeseechingOdinandThor,didCharliecurse,“Yeshallburnforthis,vilebeldame!”
Butnotbeforehiswife,themotherofhisfinalbellychild,didtakehurriedleaveofthelocale.Andnotbeforeshedidcry,victoriously,“AndnomatterwhatErnstZündelsaidtheHolocaustreally,reallydidhappen!”
Intheworldwheretheburialpitswerejustbeingdugandlinedwithplasticandquicklime,Nickhadsoundedwasted.“So,Walt,you’resayingit’ssomebigrevolutionaryattackdeal?”herespondedoverhiscellphone.
Walterhadn’tbeensurewhatthebookandmendevotedtoTalbotthaddoneyet.Hewascalling,tryingtoalertsomeone.Anyone.Hewascallingtheonlytwopeoplehe’deverreallytrusted.
Overthephone,Shastahadasked,“Walter,you’resayingyoukilledsomebody?”
They’dbothaskedwhatheplannedtodonext.
Walterhadbeeninabasementwiththebodyofadeadman.Acloudofblackfliescircling.Theoldmanhe’dpromisedhewasn’tgoingtohurt.Lookingatthecorpseslicedwithtinycutsandblotchywithdriedblood,he’dsaid,“AdjustmentDayiscoming.ButIcanstillstopit.”
Theborderlandsteemedwiththefree-rangegrizzliesofCaucasiaaswellasthetigersimportedbyBlacktopia.Itwasano-man’sland,leftasinhospitableaspossible.Anaturalbufferofpoisonoussnakesandrabidcarnivoresbetweenthethreenations.Toventurewithinamountedtoadeathwish.
Theircampfireblazed,creatingacracklingcircleoforangelight.Charmandherbrotherhadrunoutofgasandroadatroughlythesamepoint.Afterwardsthey’dhikedoverrawwildernessuntiltwilightforcedthemtosetupcamp.She’dbroughteverything:tents,flint,apantryofdriedfood,awaterfilter,sleepingbags,andtoiletpaper.
AstheysatlookingintotheflamesGavynsaid,“Momisgoingtokillyou.”
Sadly,Charmretorted,“Shealreadykilledyou.”Shedidn’telaborate,butshedidn’thaveto.
Roastinghotdogsonsticks,theyspeculatedabouttheirparentsridingbicyclesouttosomesprawlingagriculturalestate.Therethey’dindenturethemselvesintimeforthelatehopsharvest.Somechieftainwouldprovideforthemuntilthewinterwheatwasreadytothresh.Theirswouldbeamerrywintersolsticequaffingmeadandmunchingyulelogsaroundabonfireofdriedhorsedung.
Panthersormaybeleopardssnarledinthenot-far-offdarkness,andthesiblingslaughedtovanquishtheirfear.
Attheedgeoftheirsmallclearingatwigsnapped.Charmliftedaflamingbranchfromthefireandmadereadytoclubtheunseenpredator.
Adiscoloredgremlinlimpedintotheflickeringlight.Stoopedandshrunken,itsmattedhairformedanirregularmassarounditswrinkledface.Itsblueskinwasalmostaperfectmatchtotheinkynightaroundit.Onitsheelswasatall,handsomeyoungmanwearingonedazzle-brightdiamondearring.Apitbullwithblack-and-whitemarkingsboundedintoview.Thedogrushedtosniffatthecampers.
Gavynmuttered,“Jamal.”
Charmsaid,“Mine!”
Themanliftedahand.“Hey.”
InunisonGavynandCharmsaid,“Hey.”Charmwavedherflamingclubinaclumsygreeting.
Jamalindicatedthehobbling,paintedimpandsaid,“ThisisBarnabas.”
Charmelbowedherbrotherandsaid,“Yours!”
Thedisturbingcreatureliftedaclawedhandandsaid,“Actually,I’mMissJosephine.”
Beforeanyonecouldbreaktheuncomfortablesilence,anothertwigsnapped.Somethingunseenrustledthroughthedryleaves.
Thesmallgrouprecoiledfromthenewsound.Withsizzlinghotdogwienersandfierymarshmallowstheybracedtodefendthemselvesagainstapackofstarvingwolves.Instead,akidsteppedoutofthewoods.“Hey,”heasked,“isthisstillGaysia?”
Elbowinghissister,Gavynsaid,“Mine.”Heasked,“Yougay?”
Thekidshookhishead.“I’mFelix.”
Charmheavedasigh.“Thisistheborderlands.”
Felixsaid,“Isn’tthistheendingofFahrenheit451?”
Itwasturningintoquitealittleparty.FelixhadbroughtMountainDew–flavoredDoritos.Jamalandthepixiecreaturesharedmintjulepswiththegroup.Nobodyaskedwhyanyoneelsehadcometothisnowhereplace.Theircombinedvoicesdroveoffthehowls.
Anothertwigsnapped.Afemalevoiceasked,“Charm?”
Charmcalledback,“Shasta?”
Ayoungmanandwomansteppedoutoftheshadows.Together,theysaid,“Hey.”
Inreturn,thegrouparoundthecampfiresaid,“Hey.”
NosoonerhadShastaintroducedNickandthey’dfoundplacesbesidethefire,buttherustleofleavesandsnappingoftwigsandthescreechofnightbirdsheraldedanewpresenceinthedark.
Peopleaskhowitended.
Walterhadbeenawell-intentioneddoofusishowitended.He’dbeenthegoodscout,theoneineverycrowd.Thealtarboy,theteacher’spet,he’dwalkedintotheSoutheastPrecinct,lookingbothways,whisperingwithonehandcuppedbesidehismouth.Pastdarko’clock,itwasahundredyearspastmidnightwheninhadwalkedWalterBaineswithhishoodup,headdown,wearingsunglassesnoless.He’dwhisper-asked,“CanItalktosomebodyincharge?”He’dtoldthedesksergeant,“Iwanttoreportacrime’ssupposedtohappen.”
Thedesksergeant,mistersergeanthadbeen,“GotsomeID?”
Thedesksergeanthadpalmedhimoffonadetectivewho’dtakenWalterintothebasementwherebythenitwasalreadytoolate.
AmuffledvoicefromsomewhereWaltercouldn’tsee,ithadsaid,“Theonlyqualitythattrulyunitesusisourdesiretobeunited.”Fishinginhispocket,he’dbroughtoutShasta’searplugandsniffedit,inhaledthesweetnessofherearwaxandbrains.Forthatlongeyes-closedhuff,she’dbeenstandingrightnexttohim.
Proofthatevenawritercandieahero’sdeath.
That,thatwastheendoftheBeforeTimesandthebeginningoftheend.
Thereleaseoftwenty-fivethousandwhitedoveswentoffwithoutahitch.Theywereblessedwithperfectweather,andtheirfiftythousandfeatheredwingscarriedthemintoabluesky.Foramomenttheyformedasoaringwhitecloud,thendoubledbacktowardthecountrysidewhilefarbelowthemacheeringhordelinedtheparaderoute.
StarvationandcrimehadleftPortlandsafetoinhabitagain.Asaresult,Charlie’slegionsweremarchingtriumphantlyintotheovergrown,desertedmetropolis.Shaggydrayhorsesharnessedinteamspulledthebattlewagons.Thecatapultswereequippedwithnuclearprojectiles.Thebatteringramstippedwithenrichedplutonium.EndlessbrigadesofarcherscarriedquiversfilledwithC-4arrowheads.Marchingbehindthesewereranksoflancerswhosespearsweredrippingwithanthrax.Andwiththeappearanceofeverydirigiblefilledwithmustardgas,thethrongscheered.Likewisewitheverycannonandsiegetowerthatpassed,theythundereduponittheirapplause.
MostconspicuousamongtheonlookerswerethehomewivesandfieldwivesofMaryhill.Foreverywomanamongthemstoodsplayfootedandwithherbellychildpushedforward.Andmorethanafewwereevennowfeelingtheonsetofbirthingpains,forCharliehadbeenabusybeeamidhissweetflowers,pollinatingmorethanafeweachday,andtodaytheycranedtheirnecksandstoodontiptoeforthechancetoseehimmarchpastand,perhaps,catchhiseye.
Andlostinthiscrowdwasanolderwoman,beyondherchildbearingyears.Araggedpeasantwomanwhocouldbutfaintlyrecallanagewhenshelaboredoverthekeysofsomethingasmagicalasadata-entryterminal.Herlonggraytressesweretiedatopherhead.Herhandsweretheraw,redhandsofawasherwoman.Sometimeagohernosehadbeenbrokenandhadcometohealflattenedsidewaysagainsthercheek.Herkneesached,butstillshepeeredintotherowsofmarchers.
TheairwasalivewithrosepetalsandconfettiandloudspeakersblaringthevoiceofTalbott,whorepeated,“CaucasiaisatwarwithGaysia!CaucasiahasalwaysbeenatwarwithGaysia!”
Theairtrembledwiththewords,“Whatmenwantisastructureforcommunion!”
Asthewasherwomansquintedandstudiedthefacesofpassersby,anotherwomanoflikelatemiddleageandappearancecametostandatherscabrouselbow.Thisnewcroneaskedofthefirst,“Doyourememberme?”
Thewasherwomangaveheraglanceandwentbacktooglingtheparade.“No,”shesaidsoftly.
Thenewwomanpersisted,“Myappearancehasnotalwaysbeenthus.”SpeakingintheprescribedlanguageofWhite-Speak,shesaid,“InBeforeTimeswasIahealer.Anurse.”
Thewasherwomancastanotherlookuponthisstranger.Hereyesscouredthewomanforaclue,beforereturningtoreviewthepassingmarchers.
Nearthem,ayoungerwomanmadeasharp,high-pitchedoutcryandslumpedtothecobblestones.Thosearoundherlookedonnervously,butnonewenttoheraid.
Withouthesitationthewasherwomanandthestrangerkneltandcommencedtoadministersuccor.Theyoungerwoman’shangerockandmuslinunderdressweresaturatedinhotbrine.Clearlyherbirthingtimehadarrived.Ifthiswerethecase,thebabewouldarriveasthefirstofCharlie’soffspring,andforthatreasonnoneoftheotherrivalwiveswouldlendcomfort.
Thereforethewasherwomancametocradlethelaboringwifeasthestrangerkneltbetweenthekneesofthewomaninpain.Astheyeasedthepassageofthechild,thekneelingwomansaid,“Resteasy,forintheBeforeTimesdidIattendmanybirthings.”Herwordscantedtowardthewasherwoman,shecontinued,“ItwasIwhotendedyourson.”
Thehardenedwasherwomanshedherflintydemeanorforaheartbeat.“Myson?MyTerrence?”
Attendingtothebirthingwork,thestrangersaid,“Howcameyournosetobesobroken?”
Thewasherwomanraisedascalyhandandtouchedabsentlyattheforgottendisfigurement.Butshemadenoanswer.
Inaworldbeforeeverythingcametobemeasuredbybumpercropsofsweetpotatoesandbabies,thisstrangewomanhadservedmankindinahospital.Inthatcapacityhadshepresentedthenow-washwoman’ssonwiththeTalbottbook.“Atyourbehest,”recountedthenurse,“Ilied.Itoldtheboythebookcamefromhisfather.HisfatherwhomIdidneverencounter.Asyoubid,IliedandtoldTerrencethathisfatherwasonguardforhim,althoughIknewthattobeamistruth.”
Bothwomenspokedistractedlyastheyworkedtofreethebellychildfromitsdam.
“You?”askedthewasherwoman,unbelieving.
Thenursetendedtotheemergentbabe.Shakingherhead,shesaid,“Isawyouwritethenotesinthebook.Whydidyouperpetuatesuchafalsehood?”
“Shit.Idon’tknow,”sworethewasherwoman,breakingadangerousprecedentbyspeakinginthecoarsemannerofBeforeTimes.“IgottheideafromBambi.”
Thenurseechoed,“Bambi?”
Deadpannedthewasherwoman,“Thatcartoondeer.”Hersaggywrinklesblushedasifwithchagrin.“Remember?ThatpartwherethestagstepsoutoftheforestandsaysBambiishissonandheir,andthestaghasalwaysbeenhissecretguardian?”
“Wait,”saidthenurse,momentarilypausingoverthehalf-bornoffspring.“Soyouinventedanoble,lovingfather?”
Withoutprotestthewasherwomancontinued,“IneededTerrencetohatemeifhewasevergoingtogrowapair.”
Thenurseheftedthebloodynewbornaloftandsmoteitsrosybuttocks.Inquiredshe,“Didnotthemotherdeerdie?”
Thebabewailedlustily.Atinyfemale,thepoorthing.
Distractedbythememory,thewasherwomansaid,“Yeah.Butwhowantstodie?IforcedTerrencetorejectme.”
Thenurseplacedthehealthy,squirminginfantinthenewmother’sarms.Forthefirsttime,theweary,sweatyyoungwomanjoinedtheconversation,asking,“AndwhatbecameofyourTerrence?”
Asifoncuetheparadeonlookersthrewupamightycheer.Heraldicbannerssnappedsmartlyinthebreezedisplayingmanycolorsofvibranthand-loomedvelvets.Thewarmairreverberatedwiththetimpaniofmassedkortholtsandbladderpipes.Themarchingfeetkeptpacebytheregularbeatoftaborsandtimbrels.ThefocusofthischeeringattentionwasChieftainCharlie.Cloakedinleatherette.Adornedinpleather,helimpedheavilyfromsidetosideassistedbyhisroyalphysician.
Thislearnedattendant,thisphysiciantotheking’shealth,wasnoneotherthanTerrence.Anduponglimpsingherson,afull-blownman,theholderofsuchaprestigiousposition,herwasherwoman’sheartleaptwithprideandaccomplishment.
Briefwashertriumph.Forasheriffofthelawwasproddinghertostepbackandclearacorridorsothatallmightgazeupontheirlimping,painedruler.
AndnotunheardbyCharliewerethegalesoffemalelaughterthatlappedathisback.Andlaughdidmanyofthethousandwivessoheartilythattheyslumpedtothepavementsandproceededtoalsoemptytheirwombsofhealthy,pinknewborns.FormanyoftheirnumbershadgiftedQueenShastawiththebrownreclusespidersthathadliquidatedCharlie’skinglyparts,andallknewthathispearl-encrustedcodpiecewasasemptyasadrum.
Asthewasherwomanandthenursesettoworkbirthingthisnewtideofinfants,thehealerasked,“Buttellme...whythelie?”
Lookingafterhersonashedisappearedintothedistance,thebeamingwasherwomanshrugged.“IwantedhimtobelieveinafatherandbyextensionaGod.”Watchinguntilhewasgone,shesaid,“Life’sjusteasierthatway.”
Thetremblingfigurecreptintotheclearing,illuminatedbythefirelight.Anemaciatedwandererwearingatailoredsuitmaderaggedbymonthsinthewild.Thestrangerlookeduponthecuratedlittlegroupofgaysandstraights,blacksandwhites,femalesandmales.
Oftheyoungstersseatedaroundthecampfire,nonedaredmoveamuscle.Atwitchwouldsendthisstrangerbolting.Thewanderer,thiswanderermettheirstareswithwide,traumatizedeyes.Hesniffedtheair,hisnostrilsflaring,apparentlytantalizedbythearomaoftheirroastingwieners.
Nick,generoustoafault,Nickrifledhispockets.Withanoutstretchedhandheofferedthetremblingwildmanapill,saying,“LookslikesomebodycoulduseaPercodan.”
Shastahushedhim.ShepluckedthewarmmeatfromtheendofJamal’ssharpenedstick.Shefeltthewiener’sdampheatinherfingersandsufferedatwingeofwifelyguilt.Inrecompense,sheknelt.Herfellows,NickandFelix,JamalandMissJo,GavynandCharm,theyhissedforhertokeepasafedistance,butshedismissedthemwithamotionofherhand.
Nodding,hiseyesclosedinbliss,Jamalwhisper-yelled,“Cool!JustlikeinSteinbeck!”
Thepictureofcompassionategrace,ShastaSanchezofferedthesweating,drippingmorseltothis,thehounded,haunted,formerpresidentofthedisunitedstates.
Itwasslowwork.Afterthemarchersandpipershadpassed...oncethecheeringthrongshadgonetheirownwaywithsquallingnewborns...formerSenatorHolbrookDanielspushedaheavytwo-wheeledgambrelalongthesilentparaderoute.
Withapushbroomhealonepileduptherosepetalsandconfetti.Usingaflat-bladedshovelhecollectedthecast-offplacentasaswellasthedriedhorsedung,andalloftheseheheapedinhisstrainingcart.
While,attractedbythescentoffreshblood,droolingwolfpacksweregatheringinthesurroundingshadows.
AndwhileWalterBaineshadbledtodeathfromagunshottotheforehead...
Inthebasementofanabandonedhouseadropofbloodhadwelledupinthescabbedwoundonthescrawnyarmofanoldman.He’dopenedhiseyes.Findinghimselfalone,he’dflexedhisstifffingers,andthemanhadbeguntotearawayattheducttapethatboundhiswristsandanklestoastoutwoodenchair.He’dneverbeenboundwellandcould’veescapedatanyjuncture.Ifescapehadeverbeenhisgoal.
HisfirstitemofbusinesswouldbetodeleteTheList.
Grousehuntingseasonhadbeenonlydaysaway.
ALSOBYCHUCKPALAHNIUK
Legacy
Bait
FightClub2
MakeSomethingUp
BeautifulYou
Doomed
InvisibleMonstersRemix
Damned
Tell-All
Pygmy
Snuff
Rant
Haunted
StrangerThanFiction
Diary
FugitivesandRefugees
Lullaby
Choke
InvisibleMonsters
Survivor
FightClub
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsaretheproductsoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactualevents,locales,orpersons,livingordead,isentirelycoincidental.
Copyright©2018byChuckPalahniuk
Allrightsreserved
FirstEdition
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TheLibraryofCongresshascatalogedtheprintededitionasfollows:
Names:Palahniuk,Chuck,author.
Title:Adjustmentday/ChuckPalahniuk.
Description:Firstedition.|NewYork:W.W.Norton&Company,2018.
Identifiers:LCCN2017057999|ISBN9780393652598(hardcover)
Subjects:|GSAFD:Humorousfiction.|Satire.
Classification:LCCPS3566.A4554A642018|DDC813/.54—dc23
LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2017057999
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