School of Arts Performance edition - Australian Plays Transform

The School of Arts [performance edition]

First published in Australia in 2009

Phoenix Education Pty Ltd

PO Box 3141 Putney 2112

Tel 02 9809 3579 Fax 02 9808 1430

Email: [email protected]

www.phoenixeduc.com

Copyright © Bille Brown 2009

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright

Act 1968 [for example fair trading for the purposes of study, research,

criticism or review], no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in

a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without

prior written permission. Copyright owners may take legal action

against a person or organization who infringes their copyright through

unauthorized copying.

Application for performance should be made before commencement

of rehearsals to Shanahan Management Pty Ltd,

PO Box 1509 Darlinghurst NSW 1300, Australia.

Telephone +61 2 8203 1800, facsimile +61 2 8202 1801,

ISBN 978-1-921586-14-9

Printed in Australia by Five Senses Education

Cover design by Kate Stewart

Acknowledgements:

Cover image of Cherbourg men, Brisbane Showgrounds c. 1920

courtesy of Queensland Museum

p 20 Kenneth Slessor poem, Country Towns

p 74 - 80 The Queensland Centenary Pocket Songbook,

Ewards&Shaw (Sydney) 1959

Associate Professor Eve Fesl a Gubbi Gubi person and PhD. in

Linguistics, for assistance with Indigenous words used in the play, and

Roxanne McDonald for assistance with references to Indigenous

culture.

Queensland Theatre Company for assistance in preparing the script for

publication, particularly Erica Fryberg and Melanie Wild.

The School of Arts 1

I saw Vivian Walker dancing while his mother, Oodergeroo

Noonuccal, sang her poems. I watched Bryan Nason and his

troupe who traveled through the state by train and red truck

playing Shakespeare. At the pub next door to the School of Arts

where I first performed, I heard drunken white blokes smash

Jimmy Daylight’s mouth organ. For them, Mor, Brownie and Rita,

and Rick Farley, this...

Part One

The Readiness is All

Inductions Dangerous

The Bait of Falsehood

Part Two

The Carp of Truth

A Special Providence

Written with the generous support of ARTS QUEENSLAND and

QPAC in 2005-2006.


CAST OF CHARACTERS

SHOWFOLK THE YOUNG ELIZABETHAN COLLEGE PLAYERS

BRONSON SAVAGE an older leading man

MURIEL HAYES his leading lady

THEODORE BUCKRIDGE his younger leading man

QUINNY ASHTON a professional actress

ROY TIBBETS a small part player

TOWNSFOLK THE PEOPLE FROM BILO

JACK KILLORAN local Member

IRENE KILLORAN his wife, local artist

PAT DAYLIGHT her son, local kid

DR MICHAEL WALSH local priest

GWEN FRAWLEY local amateur

VAL CUNNINGHAM local sergeant

Typograhical Note:

Stage directions are shown: [italics]

Quotations from Shakespeare and other writers are shown: italics


THE READINESS IS ALL

[May 1967. The School of Arts in Central Queensland.]

[ONSTAGE a gloomy mist with a cloaked spear-carrier, BRONSON

SAVAGE, big scary music from a record.]

SAVAGE Who's there? Answer me. Nay stand and unfold

yourself!

[TED BUCKRIDGE / HORATIO enters.]

TED Friends to this ground. What's a clock?

[Bell tolls OFF]

SAVAGE Late! [Hissing into the WINGS]

TED What has this thing appeared?

SAVAGE Look where it comes again?

[A ghost contraption is trundled on.]

TED Tis here! [Towards the audience]

SAVAGE Tis there! [Looking out into the audience]

TED Tis gone! Let us impart what we have seen this

night to Hamlet. For look the dawn.

[Contraption trundles OFF.]

SAVAGE Break we up our watch and unto young

Hamlet. This spirit dumb to us may speak to

him.

[Music as spear carrier and Horatio rush off into

the WINGS. Backstage MURIEL HAYES /

GERTRUDE checks herself in the one long

mirror. GWEN, stage manager, helps the quick

change.]


SAVAGE Cut the contraption. It got a laugh! Nothing

worse than audible smiles in the first act of a

tragedy. Young Hamlet, you left out the important word, Ted, young. And my name is

spelt wrong on the Roneo-ed program, Mrs.

Frawley, it is Bronson Savage, not Bron, not

Brian and the character should read Young

Hamlet, Prince of Denmark so as not to be

confused with old Hamlet, his father who we'll

just have to imagine. And where was the

thunder and lightning for The Ghost, Gwen,

stage management, dear, but when you've been

out of the business as long as she has... Excuse

me, Muriel, my Queen! [Kiss] Are the pistols

ready for the duel scene? [GWEN opens the Gun

Case]

GWEN I beg you to consider what you are doing, Brian

please..

HAYES Bron, for once in your life, listen..

SAVAGE All ears, dear! Eyes! Red dots for the eyes. Wig!

How do I look, Gwen? Young Hamlet! Oh, in a

huff..

[TED in mask and crown as the king sweeps

GERTRUDE ONSTAGE. SAVAGE, now young

Hamlet mopes on. Music.]

HAYES Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted colour off

And let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark

Do not forever with thy veiled lids

Seek for thy noble father in the dust..

SAVAGE Heaven and earth must I remember!

Foul deeds will rise though all the earth,

o'erwhelm them to men's eyes.

[Rushing into the WINGS]

GWEN Now look, Bron, this gun business.


SAVAGE Check the guns, Gwen, last thing I want is

you calling out bang from the wings!

HAYES Bron the integrity of the production..

GWEN The risk...

HAYES The text, the text is sacred.

SAVAGE Hissed at by whispering women, I shall go mad,

I tell you, mad!

GWEN Sh, you can be heard in the house!

[ASHTON/OPHELIA enters with letters.]

ASHTON Bron! We're on!

[Again SAVAGE flees ONSTAGE.]

SAVAGE Soft you now, the fair Ophelia! Nymph In thy

orifice be all my sins remembered.

ASHTON My Lord, I have remembrances of yours that I

have long longed to re-deliver.

SAVAGE Are you honest? Are you fair? Get thee to a

nunnery. Why woudst thou be a breeder of

sinners! To a nunnery go and quickly too!

Farewell! [OFF]

ASHTON O heavenly powers restore him! O Woe.

[ROY / POLONIOUS / LEARTES & TED/

HORATIO/CLAUDIUS/POLONIOUS enter as

SAVAGE exits.]

TED Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.

SAVAGE Ladies your argument is sound, you've bored me

furious with it since the half hour call. All we

are doing Gwen is using pistols for the duel

instead of swords - Miss Hayes, the words are

still Shakespeare. Its the sixties, man, get with

it. Ah, enter, Third Witch..


[REEN enters with the box of blanks.]

GWEN Irene? What are you doing backstage?

REEN These are the blanks. Jack said you wanted

them for the show. Be careful, some of them are

real bullets. Careful the box is broken.

SAVAGE Give them here. [Some bullets fall] No, I will

load the guns myself.

HAYES Gwen!

REEN When you are done, I got a bone to pick with

you about Patrick being back!

SAVAGE Give that to Roy, or, are you refusing to take

direction? Very unprofessional, Gwen, but then

you gave up this life I offered for the security of

marriage to a local pig farmer - was I not ham

enough for you.

Where is the skull? For fuck's sake..

GWEN Language!

SAVAGE It's gone. It should to be here, Gwen, there,

Gwen, there.

HAYES Bron, Bron, get on...

SAVAGE Words, words, words, gone...

GWEN To be or not to be. I adored him, once..

HAYES We both did, he was The Prince

GWEN The Prince has turned into a toad.

[TED, ROY and ASHTON exit to the WINGS.]

SAVAGE Skull!

ROY Her mate, that Abo kid snuck in and took it.

ASHTON Pat took it?


ROY They wouldn't let him in to see the show so he's

round the side with it chucking stones..

GWEN Quiet backstage!

[Balancing guns and bullets , GWEN puts on

music as SAVAGE/YOUNG HAMLET enters.]

SAVAGE To be or not..

[Clatter on corrugated iron as a shower of stones

rock the roof. GWEN loading the gun drops the

bullets. Rocks.]

HAYES What's that, Thunder? Hail?

[Concerned muttering from audience in the hall]

TED A rain of rocks! He's rocking the roof. he half

cast kid! Right on! Man, the Revolution is upon

us!

GWEN Shut up, Ted.

SAVAGE That is the question To die, aye, to die in this

undiscovered country...

GWEN Thank goodness, you've stopped him, Dr. Walsh

[To WALSH; enters leading PAT, who carries

the skull, wrapped in a cheap tea towel with

aboriginal markings.]

WALSH There. Sorry for the interruption. Give it here,

Patrick, it's just a stage prop, not what you

imagine. [PAT gives him the bundle reluctantly.]

GWEN What is Daylight doing in here, Dr. Walsh? Get

him out.

WALSH No Gwen, it's better to have him in the School of

Arts rather than outside rocking the roof. Here's

the prop he took..

GWEN He stole! Wipe that smirk off your face, Patrick

Daylight


REEN [Has been picking up bullets] Bullets are all

over the bleeding place and you slinging rocks

on the roof is just asking for it.

PAT My old fella's in this. Guess which one. I had to,

eh Mum! [PAT gets up and goes.]

REEN You're in real strife now, Pat!

PAT Your Jack gunna give me a good hiding? [Exit

into hall]

WALSH Pat don't speak to your mother like that!

SAVAGE How all occasions do inform against me.. How

stand I then that have a father killed, a mother

stained, excitements of my reason and my blood

and will do nothing. O from this time forth my

thoughts be bloody , or be nothing worth!

WALSH Bullets! In Hamlet?

GWEN Blanks.

WALSH But it's Shakespeare.

SAVAGE It's modern. [Coming OFF]

HAYES It's madness.

GWEN His idea.

SAVAGE The skull!

GWEN Here. There. Prop table!

SAVAGE What a sourpuss! If looks could kill. Got him in?

You have done the state some service.

WALSH Are you drinking?

SAVAGE Only between the lines. Where were we? Mind's

blank. [To REEN] With her half cast hoon

rocking the roof, little wonder, I'm losing the

lines.


GWEN And the plot!

REEN He's yours too. Do something... Mongrel [Under

her breath as WALSH ushers her OFF].

WALSH Break a leg.

REEN Break both! Bastard.

SAVAGE Little local colour. Gwen, if I forget, I say, "Is

that the kettle.." Throw me the line...

[Music. a painted gloomy romantic Elsinore

Castle drop. Dry ice wafts across crude

footlights.]

SAVAGE To be and not to be. To.. Is that the kettle?

GWEN Or not to be, not and not to be.

SAVAGE That is the question. To die, aye, to die in this

undiscovered country. Where am I?

TED Bilo School of Arts, a long night in May 1967..

SAVAGE Horatio, or I do forget myself.

TED Yes, young Hamlet, you do.

SAVAGE So much for this Sir, now shall you see the other.

If it be not now, it is to come, if it be not to come,

it will be now. Yet it will come. The readiness is

all. Let be. In happy time...

[From the hall, in a concoction of costume

wearing a mask, enters ROY/OSRIC carrying a

case for two guns. Much stage bowing. OSRIC

opens the case containing only one pistol. TED

says nervous OSRIC’s line for him.]

TED Welcome back to Denmark. Osric!?

SAVAGE Dost know this water fly? NOT NOW!

[As ROY removes the gun which misfires and

shoots HAMLET.]


[ROY runs OFF with the gun as SAVAGE

staggers and falls into TED. Their tussle pulls

down the Elsinore cloth revealing the School of

Arts mural showing Queensland history from

the Big Bang to The Present. With his back to

us, a naked Jiman with a spear.]

SAVAGE No, no , go with the mistake, cut to the end. I

am dead, Horatio.

[TED covers his eyes as they strike a pose for the

last speech.]

What a wounded name! If thou dids't ever hold

me in thy heart..

[A second gunshot from the WINGS]

TED Roy.

SAVAGE Gwen? [Falls to the stage]

TED Someone. He's shot! [Into the Prompt Corner]

[TED tears off his false wig as MURIEL

HAYES/GERTRUSE enters.]

HAYES Ah, Bron, Bron! His Heart?

TED No! It's all gone wrong.

HAYES Are you surprised? So under rehearsed. Is there

a Doctor in the house?

REEN Real shot? I'll run and get the Ambulance.

[GWEN enters downstage O.P. as QUINNY

ASHTON / OPHELIA enters upstage. GWEN

exits.]

ASHTON Shit, Ted, what's going on?

TED Gun's gone off in the wrong scene. Get the

Doctor! Doctor!

[ROY enters doing a costume change and

carrying a gun.]


ROY Sorry, didn't hear my cue.. what’s happening?

TED You shot Bron for real!

ROY A real bullet!

TED Yes, Roy, he's hit.

[GWEN struggles to open the kit as Walsh

enters. TED throws his discarded costume at

ROY.]

Bloody amateur. Is there a Doctor?

[GWEN re-enters with a first aid kit.]

GWEN Dr. Walsh, up here.

ROY It wasn't me.

GWEN What have you done with the other gun?

ROY In the wings out the back with my other

costume where we change.

WALSH You used a real bullet? [Coming on stage]

TED Dunno. No! An accident! Don't blame us we

were doing what the director told us.

ROY He told us they were blank.

WALSH Blank verse, bullet not, it seems..

[Another gunshot behind the scene. TED and

ROY run OFF.]

WALSH Jack! Jack! Killoran! This is not the play, folks.

HAYES Of course it's not the bloody play!

WALSH Jack, up here mate!

[JACK enters from the Hall. GWEN still trying

to open the kit. Another gunshot]

ASHTON Shit!

GWEN Language!


JACK Another shot! Jing, we got to put a stop to this,

someone could get hurt.

ASHTON For goodness sake man, someone is hurt!

JACK We can see that, Miss Whatever you've come as.

He's my brother.. Brian! Brian, mate. Get that

kit open, Gwen.

GWEN Jammed shut.

JACK Give it me.

[JACK opening the kit cuts himself.]

JACK Fuck.

GWEN Language.

JACK Cut myself. Bleeding. I'll live.

SAVAGE I'm dying Egypt...

JACK You're not dying, we're not in Egypt, mate,

you're back in Bilo. [REEN returns] How did

you go, love?

REEN No go. Bad accident on the Gladstone Road, and

the Ambulance is just gone out.

[Yet another gunshot]

SAVAGE Christ! It's a massacre.

[TED and ROY run on.]

ROY Pat Daylight’s got the gun..

TED He fired that one at Roy...

ROY But they were only blanks.

GWEN [Taking his gun] Hold your tongue. High on

hashish.

JACK What's Pat doing in this, Reen, has he got a

gun?


TED How is he? [Crossing to SAVAGE, tearfully

concerned]

WALSH We can't do anything but make him comfortable

till..

TED Can't do anything, what kind of Doctor are

you!?

WALSH I am Doctor of Divinity.

SAVAGE I'll need you in moment...

JACK Someone go to the exchange..

ROY Yeh, I'll go. I need a drink...

JACK Not the pub, the telephone exchange, call ahead

to the hospital. Bugger this for a joke, I'll take

him, I've got the ute. Get him off.

[All attempt to move SAVAGE.]

SAVAGE No. I want to die onstage. [Bullet falls out.]

JACK No entry wound.

SAVAGE What do ya know? [Picking up billet from the

stage floor] The bullet must have caught in the

metal stays of the padded doublet. Such fine

workmanship. They don’t make them like that

anymore. Jack, I am hurt, something’s broke.

Quinny, All’s Well…

JACK All will be well

SAVAGE No-no, the will is in the play [Sudden intake of

breath] It's done. The rest is..

[Silence as PAT enters with the other gun

wearing OSRIC'S hat.]

PAT Why you all looking at me for? Father Mick

said, come in, get a bit of culture, so I did, and

got in on the act. [JACK takes the gun. PAT

takes up the skull.]


SAVAGE Now I have my death.

GWEN Get him off, he's delirious. I'll take those props.

[Takes the gun from JACK. PAT refuses her the

skull.]

JACK My ute is out the back. Ring ahead to the

hospital, Reen. Irene? Men, help me with him.

Women stand aside.

PAT And the black fellas, Uncle?

GWEN Bring him into the wings and out through the

stage door.

HAYES [to SAVAGE] Breathe. Breathe!

[The men lift SAVAGE up and he farts.]

TED The rest was supposed to be silence. [Some

giggle]

GWEN There's no respect.

JACK [A sudden violent shout of rage] S'Enough! All of

youse!

REEN You come home, Patrick. Right now.

JACK You're coming with us, mate.

PAT No, Jack, I'm here with the good Father now.

JACK You behave, boy, or I'll send you back to

Woorabinda, or worse. Go on Reen. I'll be along.

[Exit REEN with the others]

PAT You belong, she belong you, I belong no one,

poor dingo, eh Uncle. [Presents the skull]

Remember me. I do, I do.

JACK Just watch yourself. Mucking about with a

loaded weapon. You are still under the

Aboriginal Protection Act, by rights he should

be in the watchhouse. No more nonsense or I'll

get amongst ya...


GWEN That's props. [Taking the skull.] Grave scene.

He should not be up here. Authorized people

only backstage. [Exits with JACK]

JACK Don't fuss dear, we use them out home to scare

off cockatoos. Nigh-night, I’ve got to get up to

casualty and see how my nearly dearly departed

brother is going. What a shamoozle!

GWEN What do I write in the stage management

report.

JACK I dunno, say its part of the act. [Exit with

GWEN ]

PAT Mrs. Frawley's scratching about like old scrub

turkey woman. Kookoobin. Kookoobin. All gone

home. Play’s over. Pub’s still open but. Front

Pub, back pub, top pub, bottom pub. Not that

I'm allowed in. [Again takes the skull] Murder

most foul! Not fair, Doc, I get chucked in the

watchhouse for shouting in public and these

jokers get paid for it.

WALSH What are you doing back in Bilo?

PAT Got to go somewhere Father, I can't stay out

home, the Killoran place, not with Ma Reen

singing for Uncle Jack. I slept under the house

last night and I hear them at it. Makes me mad.

[imitating Hamlet]

WALSH [Both smile genuinely] You liked the play, didn't

you?

PAT Got me going! I was ready for a fight. And... ah,

yeh, I like the girl in her see-through..

WALSH Cheese cloth. Unnecessary, the gauzy blouse. Is

that what brought you back.


PAT Yeh, Oh-feel-ya, she's the cause. ‘Bout a month

ago, her mob, they'd put on this act at school -

Much Ado about Nothin much or something.

After their show, Old Savage and her, Miss

Quinny Ashton, had me for a cup of tea and

"sam'itches". Ham and mustard. She touched

my face and told me, "All's well and will be”. I

took her for her word, got on the train to get

back home to Bilo and while it were stopped at

Useless Siding for the steam engine to get

water, I saw her, in the long paddock below

Heaven's Hill, so I got off and followed her.

Found her swimming in the muddy Kariboe, in

the nuddy. Oh, "I feel ya"

WALSH Ophelia is the role.

PAT I reckon! See she goes off gathering wild flowers

for her mad act, I catch her up. " Oh, missus" -

me putting on my cheeky snotty abo kid act -

"you better watch out - this is kooli country

brown snake. Lots'um!". Bugger me, Father, she

just say, sounding like the Queen of England on

the radio; "I like brown snakes, the bigger the

better." So I stop me jarring snotty character,

and put on my pretty dingo look. "I'll give you

brown snake you little darlin". And then she

starts dancing and does her Shakespeare; "Thee

and thou and thigh!"

WALSH Thy, not thigh, thou, thee, old words meaning

you

PAT Too right. "There's a bit bark, and a bit of weed

for thee."

Gives me leaves and she starts singing the song

from this play. " There's roo for yooo."

WALSH Rue is the herb of grace, the gift of sorrow and

repentance..


PAT Yeh well, I don't know the story but she goes

mad and climbs a tree and falls down into the

creek. My turn! I'm spewin now. She's

drowning, floating up and not trying to save

herself. Her dead, they'll blame me, the only

blackfella on the scene! So I dive in and grab

her. She's wide awake and she kisses me and

twists and tumbles like an old she-crock and

laugh, me and her, we, you know, finish our

scene. That's how I got into Shakespeare.

WALSH That is not how you get into Shakespeare. With

a splash and pash! That creature is a bad

influence, have no more to do with her.

PAT No fear, that little honey's given me something.

WALSH Oh Pat, surely not dope!

PAT Yes, the dope on me the dope. Who I am to be

and not to be. She told me how Bron Savage, or

whatever he calls himself when he is at home, is

my real father. Not Jimmy Daylight who you

and Mum Reen, yes, all of ya, made me believe

was my father, not Jiman who I dreamed was,

but fat white Hamlet, my Pah! That's why I'm

back. Sort these stories out.

WALSH How did that creature find out!

PAT Bloody old bastard told her himself when they

was at it..

WALSH Don't speak like that..

PAT ... Who can blame him spilling his guts, she

rings it out of ya, Rev. It is true but, isn't it?

WALSH Speak to your mother. Patrick. I'm saying Mass

in the morning..

PAT I'm a practising sinner now, Doc..


[ASHTON and HAYES cross with a flagon of

wine and a plate of sandwiches and a cake.]

ASHTON Ah! Ding, dare you be, my man. Help me

balancing act. We're having a do on the veranda

of the front pub. Corned beef and tomato -

Soggy! White Wine. Moselle! Classy! And

there's good cake too, home made. Someone

bothers and bakes.

WALSH His mother makes the cakes, Miss Ashton.

Aboriginal Protection Board trained her up for

service.

[Enter Miss HAYES.]

HAYES Come on, come on. Jack is going to ring us at

the hotel. Bron might even join us if he is well

enough.

ASHTON Alas... poor Yorrick. You knew him. [Referring

to the skull]

WALSH Was it your ludicrous idea this once was Jimmy

Daylight, Miss Ashton? No, more like the sort

of nonsense Bron would make-up to seduce

gullible girls and other numbskulls.

ASHTON Heigh ho! White lies.

WALSH Plaster of Paris and varnished to look like bone.

[Hands the skull to PAT] Uncle Jim just went

out west, never came back.

PAT And my mother married Jack Killoran, [to

ASHTON] "My father's brother".

ASHTON And did their marriage follow hard upon?

WALSH He married her or else she would have been

packed off to the convent at Murgon and you

taken from her. There's a whole other play, Miss

Ashton in which you are not cast.


ASHTON Queensland’s a prison. A sunny one.

{Enter Miss HAYES]

HAYES Come on, come on. Jack is going to ring us at

the hotel. Bron might even join us if he is well

enough. Come on Ashton.

ASHTON Let's be gone. Got my own room. A big bed. A

bath! Bliss! Heaven, Reverend, after a month,

and not a little month, of touring, hitched up to

mixed goods trains.

HAYES This is her first, I've been at it for years. Oh

dear me, when we started his Young

Elizabethan company, we were young like you

[Kissing ASHTON] and aspiring to bring the

great works in all their glory to the bush. Gwen

booking the halls, checking the railway

timetables, and God, was she able with the

accounts, so valuable, it was she kept us in the

black while "Me & Him" coupled nightly in the

great parts, his Othello to my Desdemona,

Romeo to...

WALSH Your Juliet I saw. My mother took me. It made

her cry and so I started crying too and I didn't

know why. I even dreamt about it, how long you

took to die..

HAYES I'll take that as a compliment. Come on Ashton,

we don't have to survive another night in those

fetid red rattling sleeping cars. For two days

after Wowan, we had to share with pigs and

cattle on the way to the abattoir, ah, the

glamour of a regional tour. Delayed at Dululu

for a night and day waiting for another engine.

Will it be steam, or the new diesel electric,

shunted by the past or pulled on by the future?

But what future, they are closing down this old

Hall and so many others for want of use. What's

the Slessor poem? Like the old poster we are all


becoming out of date and sprayed with the

sarcasm of flies. Age has wearied me and him,

our beloved Bronson Savage, nay, Brian

Killoran. I am sure he used pistols because he

hasn't the puff to do the sword fights any more.

And we're half empty most nights and he's half

full. The drink, the drink, my dear Hamlet. Yet

onwards, ever onwards, if not upwards. Thank

you for your kind remembering. Still at it and

believe me, Doctor Walsh, it is wonderful to be

working, and be out here in the bush, to arrive

and welcomed to every date on the Western

Line with lashings of tea and scones and toast

of the town as we step down onto the platform

with, "What Country friend is this?" Illyria

Lady? No love, it’s Mundaburra, darl!.

[MUSIC: "A Whiter Shade of Pale"]

ASHTON Oo-oh! Got to go! The others are waiting. Room

Eleven.

WALSH Pat is staying with me, Miss.

ASHTON Groovy! Ding. I gibbon da' child a new name,

Ding, short for Dingo.. We're at the Criterion.

And I don't have to explain what a woman of

colour is doing upstairs in your grand Hotel.

Good night. Good night. Be there, be dancing

[She does so.] Come Moo, let's move..

HAYES Dancing!? Wriggling by oneself...

WALSH Are you Catholic, Miss Ashton?

ASHTON No, but I played one once. Not very well.

[Mouths, "Room 11" as she exits.]

HAYES You're not unlike him, your father, but I can see

more of your mother in you. Good night, sweet

prince, flights of angels and a stiff gin and tonic

will sing me to my rest... [Exit]


PAT All these years had me dreaming Jiman

Daylight was my dad and it turns out not to be

but to be that Savage Killoran.

WALSH Patrick, you’ve every right to be cross, my son.

PAT Oh, I'm not cross, Father, I'm Fury.

Djandamarra is in me down to my big toe. My

real father hid from me.

WALSH He was on tour..

PAT With Shakespeare 'n shit. And you, hid me

away.

WALSH Under the act, an obscene act, we did what we

thought was best.

PAT Always the same story. It’s for the best. Yeh,

what white fella thinks is best.

WALSH Jimmy was in on it as well.

PAT Everyone in on the joke bar me..

WALSH Small country town, Pat, try and see it was not

conniving. Mr. Daylight, that's what I called

him when I was your age. He did fencing for the

Killorans. He was not under the act because

Jack got him free moving all over, fencing

allotments for returned diggers. Best saddle

Bronc rider, even owned his own horses and in

the mounting yard the white punters thought

he was a stable boy and he'd play it to the hilt.

He was a lair...like you. Look that's him! Jim,

his shadow. I'll show you. One night, our Reen

and me, back from the Seminary, we angled a

light and made Uncle larger than life and put

him in the picture. [Angles a footlight on Pat].

Considering as a child he ran naked, he was shy

to take off his army uniform. It was he taught

me to box and stand up for myself, my dad had

shot through with a sugar bag and "see ya some

more"


PAT Did ya?

WALSH Never. Your Jim taught me to sing, sang to me

in his high sweet voice, and when he sang, Pat,

air shimmered, daylight indeed. Lucky Reen

painted him from the back. Ah, Pat, you'd've

laughed at the stink old Mah MacGovern made

when we revealed this mural. All too much for a

white Lady having to stand for the National

Anthem eye level with a black fella's bum. "God

save our gracious me. [Both laugh] Ah, how we

laughed. To see him Anzac Day, his dignity

when he stood at dawn service. Lest we forget.

Noble as a solitary tree... There he is. [A sharp

intake of breath but recovers] There you.

PAT Here am I.

WALSH Pat, promise me you'll get away back to school.

No good here.

PAT No good there neither. Every bleeding day, at

night, yeh, I'm in bed and I am see it.

WALSH See what?

PAT The death of Jim Daylight in me. In me he's

coming clearer and I'm remembering Jiman

language, his words. I see him. [Holding up the

skull]

WALSH Who do you see?

PAT An Eagle, eh, tearing down on Jiman, tears and

tears with savage claws, but before I can see all

there is to see, Brother Dominique comes in the

dorm and wakes me with his belt, buckle end,

and gives me a real hiding. [PAT opens his

shirt.] Don't be a doubting Tom.

WALSH I don't need to see to believe....

[Rowdy laughter OFF]


PAT Knock back the grog that acting mob.

WALSH Piss artist's! Cover up.

PAT You like a drink, Doc?

WALSH Whiskey, rum in my wild days, but one night it

made me so violently ill. Stay away from it,

you've seen what it can do, to Jack, your

mother, and to Jimmy too.

[OFF the actors are singing. PAT moves to the

music, picking up the words.]

PAT We danced the light fandango. What's a

fandango? Fun dingo? Dingo dancing! Ha-ha.

Ahroooo for you. Dance with me, man. [WALSH

awkwardly coaxed by PAT to dance.] My

Horatio-oh-oh-oh.

WALSH No, No, my son, I used to dance with your

mother, Gypsy Tap and Jive. Lovely mover, our

Reen.

PAT So what happens next? You know the rest?

WALSH The rest is.. [Music stops suddenly] Silence.

PAT` I bet Custard Guts is back and told them to

turn their blasted noise down. [Doing a fat

country cop] " Right! You've had your bit of fun,

now fuck off, or I’ll toe your doe for yah!.”

That's Custard Guts Cunningham, right!

[CUNNINGHAM enters with torch.]

CUNNINGHAM Right, you little black bastard, I'll toe your date

for ya, I warned you about breaking in to the

School of Arts.

WALSH Ah, Cust - Gut - Sarn't - Cunningham. I'm

looking after Pat.

CUNNINGHAM Doctor Walsh! Right-oh. Pop over the station

with him, well ya, tell me what went on.


WALSH Accident with a firearm, Val.

CUNNINGHAM These things can happen. Who done it?

WALSH After that performance tonight, the writer.

CUNNINGHAM I'll have a word with him. You got a job yet,

Daylight? Punchy Perry needs a hand on the

thundercart. You'd make a good dunny man,

Pat. I'm organizing the boxing at Jambin this

Saturday night, I'll back you.

PAT No, thank you Sir for asking, but Dr. Walsh and

I are singing here at the Gala in honour of Mr.

Bronson Savage for the closing of his old shed,

the School of Arse, eh, Father?

WALSH I'm.. singing with him, thank you, Sergeant

Cunningham.

CUNNINGHAM Yeh, well, don't get any ideas, Daylight, no more

shouting and starting trouble.

PAT It is not me starting trouble, it's trouble starting

me.

CUNNINGHAM Get home!

PAT Haven't got one. [To Walsh] Now you know

what it's like to be under the act.

[GWEN crosses to exit.]

GWEN Val, are you going my way. I must lock up now.

WALSH I'll do the lights and close for you. We need to

rehearse our song.

GWEN I have to report what's going on.

CUNNINGHAM I know what's going on, Mrs. Frawley, don't you

worry about that..

GWEN I have a stage management report, here is a

Roneo copy, to explain to the Shire council.


CUNNINGHAM The Shire Council think you are the bees knees,

Gwennie because you are the only one who

knows how to fix the old Roneo. [GWEN clucks

and primps as he exits with her report]

GWEN I will be at early Mass, and Confession..

[Exiting]

WALSH Good night and God bless you, Gwen. Milo and

a biscuit?

PAT Got any Iced Vo-vo?

[WALSH turns out the lights and leaves with

PAT. A steam train whistles and shunts. An

eerie glow of yellow street lamps shaft in thin

columns of dust. the night sounds of a country

town.]


INDUCTIONS DANGEROUS.

[Morning. REEN, up a ladder, sings along to “Gypsy Rover” on the

radio and paints dates with red paint. She refers to a letter. GWEN

bustles in removing hat and gloves. A grocery box, "Arnott’s Iced

Vo-Vo" holds the bloody costume.].

REEN "Ah de do, ah de do dah day, ah de do ah de day-

dee.."

GWEN You're cheery.

REEN I'd rather sing than cry..

GWEN Father took confession. I received communion.

REEN Sombre frock! You mourning in advance?

GWEN How is Bron doing?

REEN Sister Whitlock at the hospital gave him a shot

of morphine and we got him home. He drank

himself to sleep on the verandah. All he said to

me and Jack when we got up to do the milking

was, "Alls Well that Ends Well."

GWEN Well it didn't.

REEN That's his garb. [Indicating the grocery box

with the bloody doublet and hose.]

GWEN [Examining the costume] I’ll deal with this.

REEN He's flipped his wig, Gwen. He got up and

walked across the back paddock barefoot,

hobbled through the bindi-eyes taking off his

costumes and naked threw himself into the

creek.


GWEN Reen.. [She stops herself.]

REEN We must redo this. Jiman's shadow's no good

no more, he must be looking at us and we must

look at him.

GWEN It's not in the budget.

REEN I'll get the local member to fork out a few quid -

dollars. . [Paints 1949 and marks it with her

painted hand.]

GWEN 1949. What year is that!

REEN Year of my Death.

GWEN The year this School of Arts opened. The night

you won for being the Most Popular Lady. I was

runner up..

REEN Year Pat was conceived after the Noble Savage

made me his Queen. Now here we are. [Paints

1967 on the edge of the unfinished canvas]

GWEN Get rid of the dates, please, they complicate the

picture, people like things simple.

REEN Black and white? Important dates, Mrs.

Frawley, How to Vote leaflets from the One

People of Australia League. [Hands her the

leaflets]

GWEN That black power mob - more communistic than

the World Council of Churches.

REEN They arrived on the mail train. "For Goodness

sake, Vote Yes!" Will you help me give them out

Saturday?. [GWEN examines a leaflet] You are

going to vote?

GWEN Course not. You count to me already.

REEN Kookoobin, you're a strange bird.

GWEN Takes one to know one, Irene. 1960, ‘65?


REEN Amendments to the Act.

GWEN Will anyone get it?

REEN They'll get the picture.

GWEN Who remembers 1859, yonks!

REEN You were Dux at St. Rita's.

GWEN No shame in having a brain. 1859, the Killorans

got the pastoral lease, the freehold, am I right?

Banana Station named for a bull that led the

herd into the slaughter yards. Heaven's Hill,

Muddy Creek." [Pointing to them]

REEN See we have to have them so we can see.

GWEN Yes, I see, I suppose.. [Picks up costume]

REEN Do you, see, really see what is going on before

us, under our stuck up noses, in our own back

yards, down the street, just round the corner,

across the road, in the wings, behind the scenes.

GWEN What do you mean? [Puts doublet back in box]

REEN That date, 1859, remember, is also the Year of

The Murdering Lagoon and that is less than a

mornings walk from our veranda. My Jiman's

great uncle was found barely alive on his

bleeding mother's breast when the Killorans

stopped "dispersing them black fellas"

GWEN And it is well documented who did the killing

back then, the black native police, yes, guided

by their white superiors.

REEN The Killorans got away with murder.

GWEN No one gets away with murder. Who cares

nowadays either way.


REEN Who cares! Who knows? We must. Know

history. Know your self. No history. No Self!

Yes. [She starts to paint, "Yes"]

GWEN No, for goodness sake. I'll get a cloth and some

Metho.

REEN And a glass. I'm a lot nicer when I'm on the

turps.

GWEN What's got into to you?

REEN I was about to arkst the same of you?

GWEN I "asked" first.

REEN Pat. That actress! [GWEN clucks her disgust.]

GWEN What a piece of work she is! I heard her with

Pat. She invited him to her bed.

REEN I thought Bron was sleeping with that sow?

She's his sort! He always went for the "bonza

little gin." What is she?

GWEN From Jamaica, that lass. She trained at RADA,

the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art in London.

Sent them a tape recording and a couple snaps

of herself in bathing costume.

REEN She's sure got looks going for her..

GWEN With your voice and dancing that might have

been you if..

REEN Big if. Fat chance for a coloured lass from here

under the act. I didn't count...

[TED enters rehearsing the ghost scene. ROY is

now HORATIO. MURIEL is on the book. GWEN

takes the box OFF.]

TED [To REEN] A countenance more in sorrow than

in anger

ROY More in ah um..? [Trying to remember the line]


HAYES [prompting ROY] It would have much amazed

you. Lines. Have a look.

TED I like your backdrop, Mrs. Killoran, subtropical

Gothic, and what’s more topical. What do think

about the mural, Muriel?

HAYES Excuse us, Mrs. Killoran, but we have

understudies on.

REEN And you are doing Bron?

HAYES If only he were. There are the moves. Please. Do

seeing the ghost.

TED I see the ghost in my mind's eye.

HAYES It is not enough, we must see the ghost with

you. Theatre.

ROY Ted doesn’t need to rehearse. He cando Bron

better than Bron.

TED Oh that this too, too solid flesh would melt but

alas I'm fat and scant of breath.. [Punctuates

the line with farts]

ROY A School of Farts!

HAYES We are rehearsing.

REEN We all are. All got ghosts.

[REEN EXITS with a theatrical gasp as

SAVAGE enters.]

SAVAGE Ghost enters.

HAYES Late.

SAVAGE Darling old Girl. [Kisses her]

HAYES [warmly] Blasted idiot! Now Ted, see the Ghost.

Stagger two steps. Do it properly. Fingers

spread wide. Drop back on your left foot. Clutch

the brow. Stagger. Hold and now say the line.


TED Can't! Stupid! All style and no feeling.

SAVAGE Only the young have feelings.

HAYES Certainly have no style - Barefoot at rehearsal

in cheesecloth with no underpants.

TED Get off my cloud Muriel and listen, you know

what I am on about.

HAYES I know what you are on. All this psycho, psycho...

ROY ... delick? [Helping]

HAYES Psychological rigmarole and spontaneous

compunction is improvisation, and you see where

that got us! [Taking back the prompt book] You

are lucky that bullet lodged in your doublet. You

could be dead..

SAVAGE There is a divinity shapes our ends. Teddy, we

have a packed school matinee, now get on.

TED I don't want to be a Roneo copy of your Hamlet,

Bron, I want to find myself in it and Hamlet in

me. Oh, can't we discuss it. [Taking the prompt

book, puts on his glasses]

HAYES It’s art, you don't discuss it.

TED Get with it!

HAYES With what?

TED Worse than my mother. Another crypto-fascist-

bitch!

HAYES No more. [Shouts and weeps]

[WALSH, JACK and CUNNINGHAM enter.]

TED Here come the tears. She never does them in

character on stage. Muriel, don’t.

SAVAGE Use it. Closet scene. Use it.


TED Heh, man, let’s cut the bullshit. Theatre is more

than frocks and fucking red dots.

GWEN Language!

TED Theatre is the weapon of the coming revolution.

HAYES The Bible. [As TED hurls the prompt copy into

the air]

JACK What's this shouting and dissension?

SAVAGE We call it Rehearsal.

CUNNINGHAM Where's Mrs. Frawley?

GWEN Yoo-hoo! Prompt Corner. On the left usually but

I’m on the right here, false prompt. Val, I'll

show you. Roy was about here. There were

several shots, none in the script..

HAYES We must rehearse. We have to work out who is

doing what.

CUNNINGHAM We all do. [Smiles and doffs his hat to HAYES]

JACK Since you cancelled your appearance with us at

the CWA Luncheon you can rest this arvo..

SAVAGE And miss Ted’s Moody Dane?

TED Mine's not moody nor Danish...

JACK Nothing wrong with being Australian.

SAVAGE Chair! Gwen! I am fat and scant of breath.

[Others rehearse as WALSH talks to SAVAGE.]

WALSH I am seriously concerned about the state of your

soul.

SAVAGE I am more concerned about the state of my

underpants. Those gun shots scared the shit out

of me.


WALSH I hope you are ashamed of yourself. Your

current paramour had no right to reveal things

about Pat, so irresponsible. Have you nothing to

say?

SAVAGE Nothing comes of nothing…

WALSH No, not another quote to avoid the issue. Have a

real talk with him, he needs something from

you, of you.

[PAT and ASHTON enter.]

SAVAGE Ah! Divine Zenocate! [ASHTON kisses him]

Have I taught you nothing! Never cheat a kiss.

[She kisses him properly] Nectar!

ASHTON Camp ol' thing. I looked through the Complete

Works for what you promised Pat...

SAVAGE Anon, anon. [Hushes her] You did well, boy, took

arms against a sea of troubles and threw rocks

on the roof, shards flints and pebbles! You have

every right to be cross. I'm cross, furious dear, I'm nearly dead. Nearly off!

GWEN Bron, we must have words.

SAVAGE Don't agonize Gwen, I'm on. Ghost, King and

Shakespeare's only Australian character, the

Grave Digger. Joke. Your turn, Jack, what we

discussed, take the stage. [GWEN brings on a

chair.]

JACK Now everyone, couple of matters. The smell of

the wacky tabacky has been quite pungent on

the back veranda. Sergeant Cunningham wants

a word. Val!

CUNNINGHAM Right-0. I'm prepared to turn a blind eye to

some of your goings on but I draw the line at the

maryjarhoochy weed, public urination upon a

monument, [to ROY] you know who are, and

lewd nude hippy style cavorting.


ASHTON It was a free form expressive dance.

CUNNINGHAM I don't give two hoots, miss, what you call it,

you're not in Brisbane now.

SAVAGE And where did this Bacchanal occur?

JACK Back of the Shire Council's statue of Banana.

ROY That's bull, it wasn't a banana..

TED It was a bull called Banana, you Nah-nah..

SAVAGE And a full moon too. Would I had been there?

Jack?

JACK Yeh, well..I laughed because I saw the funny

side but some didn't. At least it wasn't the

Cenotaph. Now, the other matter, yeh, concerns

the Gala Concert Saturday night after the vote.

We will all be involved, play folk and real

people, getting in on the act. My wife and I want

youse to come out home this evening for tea,

and we'll give you some scenes from the show

Brian and me put together for the opening of

this hall all those years ago, about the history of

the district, Coeee, or Frolics in the Bush. Goes

down well.

HAYES Frolics in the Bush, Jack, really that was a

thing of its time and I'm a bit past doing the

Squatter’s Daughter in a body stocking.

ASHTON I'm doing it, without the stocking. In white body

paint.

SAVAGE Better casting, I'm sure you agree.

JACK It'll be the climax of the event, we hope. A laugh

and tear and home by ten. What do you say?

[Silence]

ROY Should go off with a bang. [More silence]


TED What'll you be doing in the Gala, Sergeant?

When a felon's not engaged in his employment..

HAYES You think you're funny but you're not.

JACK Not a bad idea, Val.

CUNNINGHAM I got the races at Thangool and after there's

boxing at Jambin. Pat? You could be the next

Lionel Rose.

PAT I'm singing for Dad with his mob at the Gala,

that right, Pop?

SAVAGE Absolutely no question dear...

JACK Out home tonight then. Ah! There it is. 1859,

the year we took possession of the great runs

we've worked down the generations. Made

something of ourselves we can truly call our

own. There you are darl. Ready?

[REEN enters dressed in her town frock with hat

and gloves and a wad of mail.]

PAT Mum Reen.

ASHTON Dressed to kill. Pat said you had modelled for

the Mannequin Parades, Mrs. Killoran. Very

Chic!

REEN Thank you, Miss ASHTON is it? I made it

myself from a pattern.

TED Very fetching! [JACK takes her arm]

REEN Jack and I are speaking at a CWA luncheon for

the Yes vote.

JACK In a nutshell.. you'll Vote Yes on the first count

to increase your members in the Lower House

without enlarging your member in the Upper

house. Darl? [REEN takes his arm.]


REEN The second count seeks to eliminate

discrimination and gives us equal opportunities

for education, housing and employment.

JACK A better deal for the black fella is the best deal

for all us.

TED Right on! [Applauds]

REEN Thank you, Theodore. Son, I am going to have

words with your father, yes, you Mr. Savage

and Patrick, we've got business, so be with me.

PAT Maybe!

REEN No maybe, be there because.

ASHTON Because you must. It is the cause, my soul

REEN You are the cause, Lady..

PAT No, you are the cause Lady, you and your Jack’

Jack this, Jack that, Jack shit!

GWEN Language..

CUNNINGHAM I can lock you up for that...

JACK I'm warning you, boy, your mother deserves

better. You're not a kid, mate, you're a man.

Start acting..

WALSH Please Jack ! Pat will make himself useful here.

Gwen will show him how things go backstage.

Won't you, Gwen ?

[As REEN and JACK go OFF with

CUNNINGHAM. GWEN gives out mail.]

SAVAGE Thank you, Michael, for taking such care.

WALSH How does one not care? [Silence]

GWEN Hayes, Quin... Norman La Mord?

TED Norman La who?

SAVAGE Never heard of him.


GWEN Post card for you, Roy Tibbets, from your Uncle

in Fiji. [GWEN glares and clucks at SAVAGE.]

ROY Actually he's a great Uncle because he's my

mum's, mother's, brother once or twice removed

that makes him great.

TED Your great Uncle is the black spider of

Capitalism. [Pointedly to SAVAGE] The White

Shooed Oppressor to whom you sold your Art.

Come on Two Bits, let's split.

ROY One moment Theodore. Will I be getting bigger

parts?

HAYES Not bigger parts, more of them. Horatio,

Laertes and Fortinbras.

ROY But they are all onstage at the same time.

SAVAGE Different voices.

HAYES Also Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

SAVAGE Make them the same character.

[CUNNINGHAM enters, checking stage weapons

as TED exits, singing "We run them in, we run

them in, we run them in we run them in, we are

the Bilo bold Gendarmes". ROY laughs but

scuttles OFF under the Sergeant’s withering

gaze.]

SAVAGE [To CUNNINGHAM referring to the swords and

spear] They murder in jest. What time do we go

up? Bloody school kids. Hope they only throw

soft things. . Sergeant. Dine with me.

Monsignor?

WALSH Gwen needs me.

GWEN Bron! I will speak with you.

SAVAGE ...By and by.

GWEN By and By is easily said.


SAVAGE Pub lunch, Muriel?

HAYES Bron, please don’t drink.

CUNNINGHAM RSL does a mixed grill with battered onion

rings.

SAVAGE My shout..

CUNNINGHAM You're always shouting..

SAVAGE Only in the evening. Occupational hazard.

[Exiting with CUNNINGHAM]

WALSH Find him something to do.

GWEN Pat. These there!

[GWEN and PAT exit with props.]

ASHTON You okay Moo? Muriel? [Alone she does a

physical warm-up]

HAYES More bills. Anyone got a smoke? I've given up.

[WALSH although captivated by the near naked

ASHTON offers a smoke and produces a

lighter.]

HAYES Ah! Kind. Light. I'm all technique, skill, a dying

art like the language of the cigarette. [Blows

smoke rings] Ignore me. Ash tray! Gwen. Dole

for me after this. The mortgage. I can't retire

now to a high rise down the coast. I put all my

savings into this cock-a mamie property scheme.

The auditors have been called in. [Whispers]

Roy’s Uncle will be lucky not to be jailed for

fraud.

[GWEN enters directing PAT with ashtray.]

Thank you, dear, oh! All that is there, I

see. [She weeps simply and genuinely]


WALSH All that is, I see too. Greed. Naked Rapacity.

The youngies may be right - why not drop out,

turn on, and become free.

HAYES I just can't see myself as some ancient hippy!

Ted actually challenged me to do the closet

scene without my foundation garment and let it

all hang out.

GWEN Not at a schools' matinee.

ASHTON Muriel, I should have told you what Bron was

planning for Frolics in the Bush. [HAYES puts

on her brave professional face.]

HAYES Better casting! [HAYES puts out her smoke.]

GWEN Prop table. Prompt side. Left of stage is P where

the stage manager does her business

PAT Why?

GWEN Traditional. Audiences read from left to right.

On the right side is opposite prompt, O.P. But in

our School of Arts I’m on the right. False

prompt.

PAT Why?

GWEN Because the plugs and switches and pulleys for

the flies are all rigged to the right. Just accept

without question.

[PAT does a dance move, left hand, right foot

right hand, left foot.]

PAT Warramba. Boolimba.

GWEN You were a lovely little boy, Patty, you spoke

beautifully then. What's this new voice you're

putting on? Where's that come from! Your Uncle

Jimmy would be ashamed, he spoke like a

cultured gentleman, didn't he, Dr. Walsh. I was

just saying, Miss Hayes, how delightful both Pat


and his Mother were in our amateur dramatic

society. People were shocked how well they

recited and sang, so pleasing and well

presented, him in a natty little bow tie like

Jimmy wore.

WALSH You know, Quinny, our Reen, taught herself

from reading aloud the jam labels she'd have to

put on the Killoran’s table.

GWEN And I taught her Art of Speech "Plum Jam". Plum! Jam. And this one, ‘bout up to here on

me, he'd say, Plum Jam. Ah..

PAT You want me to do it for you now, ‘ere, Gwen?

[Putting on an “Abo” act.]

GWEN Mrs. Frawley. You can help backstage. Don't get

ideas, just try and fit in. [Exit]

ASHTON Yes! Pat can be in it with us! Muriel?

HAYES No. I don't work with...

PAT Abos!

HAYES Amateurs.

WALSH You're working with Roy! He's an amateur

person. [To Pat, not unkindly] Watch yourself

[Exit]

ASHTON You will be fine, Ding, you're half cast already.

HAYES Has he ever done Shakespeare, can he handle

the verse?

ASHTON All he'll have to do is handle the props.

[To PAT] You won't have any thing to say but

you will be in it.

HAYES Yes! I can get with that. And piss that prick

Ted right off. Watch, listen, and above all -

Breathe…[Exit]


ASHTON Patrick...Killoran.

PAT Daylight! [ASHTON hands him a spear.]

ASHTON Patrick Daylight. Make a good spear carrier.

PAT Shake spear!


THE BAIT OF FALSEHOOD

[ONSTAGE with a crash of thunder, TED and ROY enter in

performance. TED playing Hamlet his own age with his own long

blond hair but ROY is now in the bad grey wig and age lines.]

[Backstage – we see SAVAGE/CLAUDIUS struggling into his

ghost armour. PAT watches.]

TED The air bites shrewdly. It is very cold.

ROY Tis a nipping and an eager air [Mimes very

cold]

SAVAGE An eager air. Diction!

TED What are you doing? [Stage whisper]

ROY Mime. Cold, [Mimes] the higher I climb the

battlements the colder and windier. [He does so

brilliantly]

TED Stop it. [Then to the WINGS] Ghost! Bron!

[Going to the WINGS leaving ROY to climb

higher and colder and scarier steps]

[HAYES/POLONIOUS in a beard and cloak

and hat but her GERTRUDE heels, enters to

help SAVAGE/GHOST.]

HAYES Take on the book, Bron, you're all over the

place. .

SAVAGE I need a drink.

HAYES Hamlet's father cannot be drunk.

SAVAGE But I am drunk.

HAYES Act sober.


[HAYES casts off her cloak, hands it to PAT.

She is revealed: a middle aged woman in a

foundation garment and heels. GWEN gives the

hat and beard to PAT then helps her into

GERTRUDE'S gown.]

TED Where is the fucking ghost?

SAVAGE Doing his fucking change. Sorely changed!

Sword.

TED Sword? Sword! Sword! [PAT gives him a

sword.] Thanks. Sorry, Nerves! Doing well?

ASHTON First scene was good. Solid flesh!

TED Kiss. [She does and TED "exits" into

ONSTAGE.]

GWEN Fog. Fog..

ASHTON Hist! Ding, You're needed here. The mist. We

nearly missed the mist.

[PAT helps ASHTON waft the dry ice mist from

BACKSTAGE to ONSTAGE. TED and ROY

continue the ghost scene.]

SAVAGE Hip Flask, hip flask...[SAVAGE swigs from his

hip flask.] Be on the book. If I forget the words,

I say, "Is that the kettle?" Shout out the line?

[Crosses to STAGE.]

[ASHTON/OPHELIA with parcel of letters.]

ASHTON Make-up. Red dots for the eyes. Catch the light!

PAT Painting me up like an old moll.

ROY Look where it comes again.

TED Speak. I will go no further.

SAVAGE Mark me. I am thy father's spirit.

PAT Father spirit..


ASHTON Here the ghost tells him how his Uncle

murdered his father and married his mother.

SAVAGE If thou dids't ever thy poor father love..

Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder

TED Murder

PAT Murder?

SAVAGE Murder most foul, as in the best it is.

Thus was I sleeping by a brother's hand

Of life, of crown, of Queen, at once dispatched

Cut off... Is that the kettle?

ASHTON O Horrible...

SAVAGE O Horrible! O, horrible! Most horrible [Exiting

into the WINGS] Adieu, adieu, remember me.

[Off] Follow that Teddy boy. The Complete

Works, here we are.. All's Well, it’s where I keep

my will. [Takes up the book and opens a secret

pocket.]

TED My father's brother, My Uncle. Oh! Heaven! O

Earth! And shall I couple Hell!

SAVAGE Shouting!

PAT Couple hell, what does that mean?

SAVAGE Couple hell? Marriage! Ask your mother? Do

you understand what I am doing for you. I

name you my sole heir.

ASHTON Your soul's heir. For sons are the secret of their

father, the mirror of his soul and so completes

the father's life.

SAVAGE Hippy nonsense. You have your wish, dear, he

has my will. I deed him the whole flaming lot.

Happy? Still you should not have told him.


ASHTON I was right to say. It is not right, unfair to hide

you as if you didn't count. Every son should

know his father, every father, his son. Mine will

I tell you, God yes, or man he won't be. He must

see his father's face, hear his father's voice,

undo the hurts and become himself. The world

is strewn with father wounded sons rocking the

roof shouting themselves blue in the face.

SAVAGE Be that as it may, Ash, in my trunk in the

sleeping carriage you'll find the title deeds. This

adorable minx will help you, she was a

solicitor's clerk before she got into RADA.

ASHTON I will look over everything for you, Pat. Lord, I

hope this is not just another grand gesture, and

empty. I'm on. [Exits hiding the will among her

prop letters]

SAVAGE You get it, I bequeath to you the family

property. All yours again. Jiman Country. Your

Mother's Uncle’s ancestral hunting ground.

PAT But not his dreaming..

SAVAGE Not in my gift. Nothing to Jack. As for your

mother, sorry son, but...ah...don't do "Love." Not

in the repertoire! Don't snarl and glare, it is

what is, I am what I am and you are who you

are. And I don't do "The Father", not in the

repertoire, dear. Not well. Hell, cold, I've a

bruised sore back, maybe cracked my rib when I

fell and ruptured my kidney. Bled a little into

my guts. Sister at Casualty said that pain gives

a man an inkling of what a woman suffers

giving birth. Poor bloody mare, your mother-eh!

[PAT watches the play. GWEN appears.

SAVAGE grimaces and collapses in pain.]

GWEN You shouldn't be here. Not in your state..


SAVAGE Something is rotten in the state. What

possessed you, woman, why did you shoot me?

GWEN I found you out. In good faith Brian I gave you

all my money for an investment flat down the

coast and now I discover it’s part of a shonky

property deal you are in with Roy’s uncle.

SAVAGE ...Great uncle

GWEN “Prospero’s Isle and Tower, foreshore living at

Nerang. The Brave New World of vertical strata

title.” Title to what!? Thin air!?

SAVAGE Sh! You can be heard on stage.

GWEN There’s nothing there. A sketch on paper! I went

and looked! A metal tap stuck in the mangrove

mud with a hand written sign on it

"Development". And it’s not even in my name or

yours. I opened that letter to Norma La Mord.

SAVAGE How dare you open private mail!

GWEN I’m your executor!

SAVAGE Executioner!

GWEN All that property is in the name of Norma La

Mord. [SAVAGE hushes her and she hushes him

back.] I could not believe my eyes. Preposterous,

the whole scheme, Bron, most of the

subdivisions go underwater when the tide comes

in. Then like a bolt out of the blue, it struck me

what you were up to, so I just aimed and fired. I

thought you were going to die.

SAVAGE Is that what you wanted?

GWEN Yes! [Again they shush each other vehemently.]

Oh...Hail Mary, full of Grace…[She prays

silently and composes herself.] In that moment

something came over me. Roy’s gun suddenly going off. You. There. That’s for you!


SAVAGE Sh! you can be heard in the house.

GWEN I'm stage management, we don't improvise as a

rule. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us

sinners now and at the hour of our death...

SAVAGE Gwen, I'm mortified. Hush! A genuine mistake

I had devised a way to try and claw our money

back but, it has all backfired. Oh Gwennie,

Gwennie, Gwennie, a little patch of ground that

hath no profit in it. One can't own anything but

this.. is all the earth we got. So I beg you my

darling dearest girl, give me another chance to

make amends. No one but us, yes?

GWEN I made my confession..

SAVAGE Oh, never tell God your secrets, Gwen, it only

gives him something more to laugh at. What did

Mick say?

GWEN Say Five Hail Mary's.. Decades of Rosary.

SAVAGE The Seven Sorrowful Mysteries!? [Savage takes

a swig.]

GWEN No drinking backstage. Oh God! I just don't get

it any more.

SAVAGE You never got it dear, even when you left us for

that gawk, from Goovigen, Norm Frawley.

GWEN I made a successful marriage..

SAVAGE You married beneath you and you know it.

GWEN [Suddenly startled] Cripes, that's me. Nearly

missed a cue. [Exit as PAT turns his attention

back to them]


SAVAGE She's a Trojan! Widow. Like Hecuba! But what's

Hecuba to me and me to Hecuba, useless my

tears, useless my erection. Yet, I should be

grateful, a glimpse of one's death does give one

pause but little did I think that Mrs. Frawley

and Monsignor Mick would be my scourge and

minister.

PAT He's my friend. Like Horatio..

SAVAGE May he prove true. Not that he's bad, just

sincere and sincere people are nearly as

frightening as nice people, more dangerous.

PAT Kutji.

SAVAGE What's that?

PAT My language, Jiman.

SAVAGE And meaning..

PAT Kutji, spirits who bring sickness and death

SAVAGE And you're a spirit of health, a goblin damned..

You are a troublesome character, son.

PAT And you're a real bastard, Mr. Savage.

SAVAGE We are bastards all but there are good bastards

and bad bastards and I'm not the last of your

monsters. You ask your mother about Jimmy

Daylight, ya hear? Yes, not Jack nor anyone

else,

PAT I see him. As he lived. As he was dying. Poison

drunk drowning. [Picks up the SKULL]

TED Nay by St Patrick but there is Horatio and much

offence too. So, here on my sword. Swear!

SAVAGE Swear!

TED Here upon my sword... Swear!


SAVAGE Swear!! What did they tell you? That Jim just

shot through, went out bush? No. Someone

killed him.

PAT I see that. But who? Eagle fella! Mikkoloo?

TED The time is out of joint

Oh, cursed spite. That ever I was born to set it

right

SAVAGE I did that bit better. Ted is going for truth when

what is needed is poetry. [Exits]

PAT Fuck your poetry, Whiteman.

[HAYES/GERTRUDE and ASHTON/

OPHELIA enter. Congratulate TED with

silent vigorous hand claps. ROY hovers.]

TED Take my cloak, please. [Pat hesitates, Roy takes

it.]

ROY Dumb cluck! Jeez, you're useless and you smell.

Well they do.

TED You're a fuckwit and an arsehole, Roy, a nancy

boy and a nong.

[The company do a scene change. Then TED

stands apart checking lines as ROY auditions

with a false nose and wig. SAVAGE as the king

with a crown returns.]

ROY What do you think? Rosencrantz! Guildenstern!

Guildenstern or Rosencrantz.

HAYES Roy, we're on. [Exiting to ONSTAGE]

Welcome Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

Or is it Guildenstern and Rosencrantz!

SAVAGE It's Rosenstern.


[HAYES as GERTRUDE and SAVAGE as

CLAUDIUS with ROY sweep about ONSTAGE.

ASHTON comes BACKSTAGE. ROY and

HAYES exit, leaving SAVAGE alone ONSTAGE

who kneels in prayer.]

ASHTON Ding.Ding

PAT My name is Daylight. No, I'm Patrick Killoran,

One of them. Of him and her. You should’na

told me.

ASHTON S'done, s'done.

PAT No, I’m glad you did, angry crazy glad. You

kissed Ted, you onto him now he's got Hamlet.

ASHTON Oh, Passion’s plaything! Ted's into

Hamlet.

TED Now might I do it, Pat. Thoughts black and time

of night agreeing...Now might I do it Pat.

[TED tosses his sword to PAT who catches it.

TED takes the spear to enter behind the praying

King ONSTAGE. ROY enters.]

ROY Give it to me. You're just a spear carrier [Under

his breath] Fuckin' darkie. [He spits.]

ASHTON Roy! How dare you! Shame.

[PAT pins the startled ROY with the SWORD.

ASHTON tries to stop him.]

PAT You, you little prick, blame'n'everything thing

on me. I'll kill you.

ROY No. Quin! Quinny.

ASHTON You're hurting him.

ROY Mistake, mistake. Everything I do goes wrong.

Now Ted hates me and Brian and you and

everyone hates me.


ASHTON No one hates you.

PAT I do. Whitey.

ROY See. [GWEN appears.]

GWEN Roy, you're on. Horatio then Leartes!

HAYES Roy, you're off. [A stentorian whisper]

ROY Off and on and on and off. This is a bad scene

man. I wish I'd never left Toowoomba.

[WALSH in a soutane, unnoticed, enters to catch

ASHTON in Ophelia’s made scene. Then

BACKSTAGE GWEN and ASHTON pull off

ROY'S false nose and wig. From his make-up

box sniffling ROY puts on false teeth and takes a

small cucumber for his codpiece. TED re-enters.

PAT takes his spear. GWEN rescues the

cucumber.]

TED Make it real Roy. Don't stand too close. Give me

space, man. And no more mime.

ROY My mime was good.

ASHTON After I'm dead, I will have a closer look at his

will. Last scene coming up. Your debut. [Exit]

TED The plays the thing wherein I catch the

conscience of the King

[ROY races on with TED in a swirl of cloaks as

WALSH joins PAT in the WINGS.]

PAT Horatio! Here I am in the School of Arts dancing

with the Whitefolks.

WALSH Progress.

PAT Watch this bit. It’s not real, it’s true but...

[WALSH tenderly places his hand on Pat's

shoulder as they watch.]


TED My father's brother

He that hath killed my king, and whored my

mother

ROY Why, what a king is this?

TED A murderer and a villain

A king of shreds and patches

PAT See! Mikkoloo told that. Maybe Jack wanted

him dead like in the play.

WALSH Who? Jim? Pat, don’t confuse this with that and

that with this.

PAT No, this play’s the thing and Jack's the King to

blame. Maybe he killed Jiman, eh, Horatio,

murder most foul...

WALSH No-one killed your Uncle Jim.

PAT Not what I see. Not what I heard.

[SAVAGE enters with a brown paper bag with a

bottle of Chateau Tanunda. Starts as he sees

OSRIC emerge from the shadows, masked

ASHTON. Then GWEN who has the fouls

startles him.]

ASHTON Osric! [Removing the mask] Someone has to do

it. Ophelia is dead.

GWEN Thank God, we are doing the last scene of this

act with rapiers and not pistols. Pat, be ready.

WALSH You're entrance Mr. Daylight.

PAT Now might I do it…

WALSH Pat.

[ROY enters and for a quick change.]

GWEN Horatio off! Laertes on.

ROY Whoops no undies! [Wiggles his penis]

"Flobadadobbadah!"


[HAYES enters.]

GWEN Modesty.

HAYES Young are reverting to native savagery.

ROY Ted told me to...[SAVAGE enters, takes a final

slug of gin, then unseen pours the rest of the grog

into the goblet.]

GWEN Now, before we go on for the last scene I just

want to let you know that Jack is coming on at

the call to make some speech about the

Referendum. Reen asked if we’d help hand out

the leaflets for the children to take home to

their parents. [Giving the props to ASHTON]

Keep the foils in order, no more spontaneity.

ASHTON I do the foils. You, the goblet.

SAVAGE The poison cup. [Gives PAT the cup]

ASHTON You nervous?

PAT No, I have so much fear I have none.

HAYES Breathe, breathe.. Be...

SAVAGE What's my line?

GWEN Revenge should know no bounds.

SAVAGE Knows it by heart. Hold the spear properly, son,

not like that, like that. And...

[Trumpets and drums. PAT takes a sip unseen.]

SAVAGE Come Hamlet, come Laertes, take hands.

TED Give me your hand Laertes... What I have done,

I here proclaim was madness.

ROY I do receive your offered love...love [Drying]

TED Give us the foils, come on..

ROY Come, one for me..

[HAMLET and LAERTES try foils.]


TED These foils have all a length?

SAVAGE These fools have all a foil?

ROY I like this one not.

SAVAGE It is a foul foil you feel!

TED Take it.

ROY This likes me well.

SAVAGE Come begin and you the judges bear a weary

wary eye.

Aye! Set me the stoups of wine... Is that the

kettle?

[PAT enters with spear & goblet.]

HAYES [Prompting] Give me the cup. [PAT gives it to her.] No. Him. You Bron..

SAVAGE Ah! Give me the cup.

And let the kettle to the pot call black,

The strumpet to the cannoneer without

The cannon to the heaven and the heavens to the

earth

Now the king drinks to Hamlet.

[JACK and REEN enter. Fanfares and drums as

SAVAGE takes a gulp from the goblet and

returns it to PAT].

TED Come on, Sir.

[JACK enters. HAYES steers him OFF.]

HAYES Not yet! Come. [To Roy]

ROY Come, Mallard...

[HAMLET and LAERTES fence.]

TED One!

ROY No.


TED Judgement.

ASHTON A hit, a very palpable hit.

SAVAGE Stay. Give me a drink. [PAT offers the goblet.]

Hamlet this pearl is thine. Give him the cup. No,

wait, another bout then take the cup.

HAYES He's fat and scant of breath...

[TED tears open his shirt.]

TED Come Laertes. Another hit! What say you?

ROY A touch, a touch, I do confess it... that hurt,

Ted...

HAYES Here Hamlet, take my napkin, rub thy brow. The

Queen carouses to thy fortune.

PAT Don't drink.

SAVAGE Gerturd do not dring.

HAYES I will my lord, I pray you pardon me.

SAVAGE Too late. It is the poisoned cup.

[Hayes drinks and gasps.]

PAT Told ya.

TED Have at you now! [They fight again.]

ASHTON Part them, they are incensed.

PAT Come on, mate, go forward swinging. Great, eh!

ASHTON Shush!

ROY Kill me in the corner. I've got to get off for the

quick change. [Dead but crawling]

ASHTON Look to the Queen there, Ho!

PAT Who, me! You right, missus..

TED How does the Queen?

PAT Bit pissed.


HAYES Sh! The drink, the drink. O! My dear Hamlet!

SAVAGE She swoons to see them breed.

ASHTON They bleed on both sides.

TED Oh Villainy. Let the door be locked. Treachery

seek it out!

ROY It is here. [Exit as JACK edges ONSTAGE]

PAT Here

ROY Hamlet, The King's to blame...

PAT Too right, mate. Murder most foul! [Raising and

shaking the spear.]

REEN You gone mad, son, crazy. Pat! Pat!

PAT A Rat ! A Rat! Dead fuck it! Thou, thy, thee..

Plum Jam! [Hurls spear at JACK, WALSH

rushes on.]

[FAST CURTAIN]


PART TWO

THE CARP OF TRUTH

[BACKSTAGE. The professionals are making up for The School of

Arts Gala Concert. ROY stands and does the full Leichner Chart

job. TED enters with a ’movie star’ dark face preparing to do his body. HAYES in full glamour slap has the running order.

QUINNY is whiting up for her squatter’s daughter. GWEN comes

and goes about her stage management with costumes. Music.]

TED Day O, Day O!

Day delight and I wanna go home

Day O, Day O.

ALL Day delight and we want to go home -

Wanna go home. Wanna go home.

ASHTON Key change. Bit of choreography and then.

ALL Down the way were the nights are gay

And the sun shines daily on the mountain top.

I took a trip on a sailing ship

And when I reached Jamaica, I made a stop

But I'm sad to say I'm on my way

Won't be back for many a day

My heart is down, my head is turning around

ASHTON I had to leave my sexy man in Brisbane town..

HAYES Then Father Walsh does his solo, which is,

anyone know?

GWEN Irish medley. Always gets an encore. [Exit]


HAYES Giving us time to get ready for Frolics in the

Bush, Roy does his thing. What is it, Roy?

TED More Mime? [Taking a joint out of his make-up

box.]

ROY It's a skit. Pat found me the right prop.

HAYES Ted, do not light up in here. I beg you. [TED

lights it.]

ROY Don't Ted! They sprung me having a puff in the

shelter shed that pig toed my date.

TED Oh! That's why you are not sitting down. Stop

asking for sympathy. Here sook.

[TED hands ROY the joint as GWEN re-enters

with Hamlet’s doublet. ROY hides the joint

behind his back as he awkwardly attempts to

take the costume and sit.]

GWEN All fixed and can be packed. Fresh white tights, Miss Ashton. Undies, Roy.

[ROY burns himself;, drops the joint, as he sits

and bleats with pain.]

TED Ah, Roy, mate, oh, it’s his freshly toed date, his

poor bruised crack, Mrs. Frawley..

GWEN Witch Hazel might help..

ROY I don't want her help. And that pig thumped me

in the kidneys and now I've got pink pee. Its not

fucking funny.

GWEN Language. [Looking at ROY looking for the

spliff ]

TED Roy! Bad language and mothers are not allowed

backstage

GWEN What's that smell?

TED It's the mosquito coil. And Roy's hair spray


ROY Shut up, you big...shut up.

[JACK arrives with a plate and a small esky.

Actors pick from the offerings.]

JACK Big turn out. At this stage I'd hazard we've got

the Yes on both counts...Thanks to those who

helped through the day. Goodies from the

Killorans - Mock Chicken, Corn Beef, Bickies,

and my Reen's "cordial" ice blocks [winks]

HAYES You are looking particularly scrubbed and

sober, Jack, handsome even.

JACK May need a few sherbets to get through the

night!

ASHTON Is Bron coming?

JACK Yeah, he’s with Pat. Out the front, having

words.

GWEN About Life and Art and attempted murder?

JACK Nothing in it, we laughed it off. I saw the funny

side.

GWEN And died laughing? I hope I die laughing.

ASHTON Pat got carried away, Mr. Killoran.

JACK I know, he got caught up in the act, my dear, no

harm done. It's a family trait, when I was a

young bloke playing footy and running for the

line, I would start singing and doing my own

commentary, "He's got the ball and flying down

the wing beating one tackle, two and fobs the

full back off with a dummy pass as he dives over

for a try" - and then I'd do my own music as I

ran back for the conversion, that sort thing, you

gotta laugh. Yeh, well. This the running order?

TED Iced Vo-Vo! [Licks it and eats it] Nice.


JACK You know Ted, my bloody brother told me when

I was a kid and used to lick the icing off, that

this quaint biscuit was named after the maker's

mistress's fine china. [TED is puzzled.] Her

twat.

TED Oh, I see. Think of that, Miss Hayes? Nice

Vulva, Ice Vo-vo, we could use it as a voice

warm-up. [He does.]

HAYES Vulgar. Gwen! Where are the mirrors? The full

length one.

TED I say, I say, I say, Mr. Killoran, Jack, can you

explain which is the front pub and which the

back pub?

JACK Well, Ted, the front pub is the top pub and the

back pub is the bottom pub.

TED But there are three pubs. What is the other

one?

JACK That's the middle pub.

TED What's the best?

JACK Depends how pissed you are! [Others chime

in, Boom-Boom!]

GWEN Ah, Jack, you're here. Where are you going?

TED Roy, stash.

JACK Out the back for a quick Craven A. [Exit

followed by GWEN as REEN enters.]

TED We all came to our census, so are you to be

counted or not to be?

REEN I am to be counted in this Commonwealth but

no idea of the numbers.

TED Join us?


REEN You got the hamper! [Actors chorus thanks] "Ice

blocks"!! made from Bundy Rum "and Coca

Cola" It is the only way we can get our grog in

here under the watchful eye of Lady Muck.

GWEN Pat, Bron, where are they!

REEN Rehearsing the big finish, I don't know

GWEN I want no mishaps.

TED I'm at breaking point she snapped.

GWEN That smell? Is that smell what I think it is?

TED Backstage smells, blood, sweat and cat's piss.

Can I offer you an ice block, nice Vo-Vo?

[Repeats the voice exercise]

GWEN I don't want an ice block nor a nice Vulva, Mr.

Buckridge, I know what is going on and whose

going down. [An amused silence] You may be

laughing on the other side of your face behind

my back. There is only so far you can push it,

Mister, only so far, and then... It was me who

reported you to the Police last night.

ROY I could have reported you for, well, well, we

know and could have if I might, yeh...

GWEN You're talking rot. I know you pricked Pat on,

especially you, Miss - don't answer back, you

did, goaded him into thinking he was some sort

of bush Hamlet. There is no such thing as "it

just happened". You were lucky Jack fell

backwards down the steps and the spear didn’t

get him - Thanks be to God. There is this and

there is that. It's not a play, it's lives. Too much

harm has been done. You go but we go on.

[Stunned silence] Excuse me. That's the half,

everyone have a good show. [Exit]


HAYES Happier now Teddy?

[HAYES helps ASHTON into her dress: the

Squatter’s Daughter. ROY exits.]

REEN What have you come as?

ASHTON Melinda Moss, the Squatter’s Daughter.

REEN Pregnant!

ASHTON Only on stage..

REEN And Ted you're doing Bron's Part.

TED Your Noble Savage. Do you want to do me.

[Offers sponge] Aye, there's the rub. I read

Frolics in the Bush, it was more hysterical than

historical tragical pastoral. Bron stole most of

the plot from an old melodrama but claims it

was based on a real massacre out at the creek.

REEN Oh, we don't mention that in polite society, we

pass the "plum Jam" and "sip our tea", careful

not to get lipstick on the bone china.

TED "Crockery!" Load of crockery..

REEN Your character, Theodore. [Puts the darkening

make-up on TED]

TED Cooee is really a white boy Raff Darky who gets

lost in the bush...

REEN .. and found by the Jiman, lives among'em,

learns their ways, grows big and handsome,

falls in love with the Squatter’s Daughter,

makes her pregnant.

ASHTON Not going to wear the stuffing, I can act

pregnant. [She does.]

TED Cooee reveals himself to be the true claimant of

the property but, but that tickles…


REEN But the evil brother gets cross and convinces

the native police that Raff is that riffraff, Cooee,

so they kill him for being a black fella. Gammin!

For the Killorans it has always been about land,

the real estate and who owns it. There you are

Theodore, changed into a wild, bad Abo. Take

care. Killorans butchered the lot of them.

TED Thank you [kisses her] Sorry.

REEN For what, Cooee?

TED Frolics in the Bush.

[GWEN enters with REEN'S dresses.]

GWEN Missing props! Has anyone seen the pistols?

That’s the fifteen minute call. They're here,

finally, Pat and Bron looking like death warmed

up on pain killers and booze. Reen get dressed,

please. The Browny Gold? Or is it the Maroon?

REEN It's Plum. Plum Jam. [Takes both frocks]

[Exit REEN. Exit GWEN singing to herself,

“Mother of God, Star of the Sea, Pray for the

wanderer, Pray for me…”]

HAYES Same golden wig I wore in the original [Helping

ASHTON]

ASHTON All this white slap!

HAYES I am like the white Queen, I have to start

believing impossible things before breakfast. I

caught Roy in that unusable toilet back there

secreting something. With a wild look in his eye,

he said "I will prove it was her not me who tried

to kill the old Savage with a real blank" What

do you think he's doing?

ASHTON Drugs.


HAYES No wonder his Uncle unloaded him on us, I

mean he'd be useless in real estate. I suppose he

could mime imaginary buildings like those Bron

sold us down the coast. I don't know if I can do

the steps in these sling backs. No, I'll wear the

white stilettos I bought in Blackall. Too much

blush? Pale lippy! Very hip! Poor Gwen's on

edge when she starts humming hymns...

ASHTON Our Lady of the Perpetual Sneer and her parish

priest. I hate the way he looks at me. He strikes

me as someone who sits in a dark place stroking

a grudge.

HAYES I find him dishy. I know he's a man of the cloth,

dear, but all men have cocks. I took my hem up.

Too much? I feel safe in pink Chiffon.

ASHTON Put on your glasses you'll feel safer.

[WALSH enters with the pistol case.]

Hello Dr. Walsh, are you ready for it.

ASHTON Pat not with you?

[ASHTON puts on a blond wig.]

WALSH Daylight's with his father. Should I wear make-

up, or no? Have to borrow?

ASHTON Use hers. Peaches and cream.

[Exit ASHTON. WALSH puts on the make-up.]

HAYES And you can't wear that unpressed shirt. Give

it, I will iron it for you. Don't be shy? Been there

done that! In the Revenger's Tragedy, I had sex

with a cardinal. Simulated...naturally.

[WALSH removes his shirt. On his pectoral is a

tattoo of an eagle.]

WALSH I boxed and played for Brothers.

HAYES An Eagle. [Pointing at the tattoo]


WALSH Got this one night up the Cross - the other

Cross. In Sydney. It's a symbol of St John the

Evangelist. Ever since Patrick got himself

home, Miss Hayes, I've gazed like an eagle with

his fixed eyes, gazed into the Abyss, my own.

HAYES Use this for your lashes, Reverend.

[GWEN enters with a trooper’s costume.]

GWEN Good Evening, God bless you, Father, past the

half, nearly late…

HAYES Back in a Jiffy. [Exit as WALSH takes the

Tunic]

GWEN The men are dressing across in the other…

Here’s the running order. Do you know what

you are going to do? Roderick, the angry

brother...

WALSH I saw what I am to do, Mrs. Frawley. Please do

not worry yourself, I saw last night when Pat

hurled that prop spear in the play what needs to

happen. We gave that boy one of our most

meaningful artefacts of our culture.

GWEN What do you mean, Shakespeare?

WALSH Language that speaks of Justice and Revenge

and he took us for our word. Revenge is fed by

inarticulate rage, like grog it creates more thirst

and misery, headaches and heartaches. Justice

quenches rage and becomes a ground for love,

great love, compassion and with that we gain

longed-for joy, a deeper feeling than grief

because it nourishes Being. We got him in here,

in our School of Arts, now we all need to get into

the same play. With Him. Mrs Frawley, I know

what to do, you get on with your business. Here

are the pistols. And blanks. I made sure this

time. The readiness is all. All’s well and will be.

[Smiles] See you on the green.


[Exit GWEN]

WALSH [Sings]

If you find it's me you're missing, if you're

hoping I'll return

To your thoughts I'll soon be listening, and in

the road I'll stop and turn.

Then the wind will set me racing as my journey

nears its end

And the path I'll be retracing when I'm

homeward bound again,

Bind me not to the pasture, chain me not to the

plough.

Set me free to find my calling.

[ONSTAGE; REEN in the gold and brown

watered silk cocktail dress. She is wearing

emeralds.]

ASHTON Emeralds, wow, the real thing?

REEN Jack’s mother’s. So Miss, a little bird told me

twas you deflowered my son? I hope you took

precautions, little mistakes can discolour a

whole life, a career blighted.

ASHTON Is that your experience?

REEN What are you black girl?

ASHTON Jamaican on my grandmother's side. My father

was a Nestorenko.

REEN Russian. Black White Russian. [REEN laughs

genuinely]

ASHTON Mrs. Killoran. I regret any harm I have

unintentionally caused you. I'm not interested

in your son or his property. I acted unwisely.

There's Bron’s will and title deeds. He has left

everything to Pat. [She presents the port with

the will and title deeds.]


REEN He won't inherit under the Act.

ASHTON In that case it'll go to someone called Norman la

Mord. I don't get it. I am just a rather self

possessed, middle of the road, quite talented

girl. Black, yes, but so are a lot of ordinary

people, Mrs. Killoran. I just want to get back to

Brisbane…

REEN to your husband

ASHTON ..to my husband..

...who is taking his master's degree at UQ and

then return home to the UK. I want some happy

healthy babies, nice dresses and my hope is a

reasonable life. Old Age. Sweet Death. No

Ophelia.

[PAT emerges wearing his father’s coat with

medals. Jim’s service medals on one side, his

father’s MBE the other, a top hat, Jim’s natty

bow tie and white trooper duds.]

REEN Ah, Patrick, may I introduce Mrs. Ashton? My

son in his father's London coat and Uncle's

medals. Dressed to kill. Will you be in the

district long, Mrs. Ashton?

ASHTON Just for the season, Mrs. Killoran, the run of

the play. [Exit]

PAT How do you know she's married.

REEN I'm your mother. No mystery. When I met the

mail train to collect the leaflets, I picked up

their mail and noticed Mrs. Ashton among the

others.

PAT She can rack off and you..

REEN And you don't be angry, with women, her, or

me, that's the Killoran side.

PAT Ere! Why you call me Patrick Daylight?


REEN There was no way I was going to call you after

Brian Killoran. So I named you for your Uncle

Jimmy Daylight. The Nuns insisted you got a

Saint’s name. I came up with St. Patrick, he

chased all the snakes out of Ireland.

PAT Well, they all swam over here.

REEN Sure did, making mischief. [Again she tries to

get the port.]

PAT You're making the mischief with me.

REEN I'm still your mother.

PAT My Mother, yeah, but did ya not want me?

REEN After the Most Popular Lady Pageant, I was

hanging about backstage in my crown and

cotton wool ermine. He had just finished doing

Othello. He was washing off his black paint. I

tell you, son, never trust a white man in a black

wig and make-up! [She laughs.]

PAT I'm not laughing..

REEN You given me away, haven't you, but more of me

in you than him. Old Bron Killoran, he

smothered me with words, "Ah Desdemona" like

in the play, and that's how I got into

Shakespeare or Shakespeare got into me. But

my baby, under the Act, they were going to take

you away. I even used his black stick of make-

up to cover your whiteness. Mick made up a

story how you would be Uncle Jim's bub if they

cared to ask, father unknown on the paper

work. And then when you got older, Jack

Killoran asked me to marry him and that way

we were able to adopt you, quarter cast child,

then I could keep you as my son.

PAT Jack. Bullshit! [Grunts derisively]


REEN Yes. Your Uncle Jack. Mick arranged for you to

go to Star of the Sea. For a while Jimmy played

along but he come back from out West a

changed man, not well neither. You were of age

and he ripped into me about neglecting you.

PAT I can see him, hear him talking language,

taking me down the back steps of the old house..

[In JIM'S voice] "No more mission days.”

REEN Stop foolin' around.

PAT No more station days.

REEN Patrick stop!

PAT Woman, his time come.

REEN Quit putting on an act pretending to be Jim.

PAT He's a man not a boy, not a Killoran, you're

Daylight and you got a name not to be spoken

here. That's him?

REEN Oh son of mine, I don't doubt in your heart you

see him but now, listen to me, what I saw. Yeh,

Jim in his grog rage come to take us both, you

and me away and out of it. To where? Here was

home. Jack forbade we go, as you were his

brother's son and that was the law.

PAT White Man's Law! I'm sick to bleedin' death of

Whitefellas Law. Mikkoloo! Had it up to here

with all-a-ya! Yeera katha

REEN What are you up to, Patrick?

PAT That's for me to know and you to find out. I

belong no one and no one belongs me.

REEN Go then. Be a man. But you be careful, things

get out hand. Kutji and Mikkoloo just out there

in the dark watching.


PAT I'm the watcher, I'm Kutji, I'm the Boghi Man

that's what youse made me. Now I'm coming to

get yah. Yeh hear me, Mrs. Jack? You better start telling me what happened. That Night!!

REEN That day. [She weeps, recovers, smiles.] March

flies and native honey you went to look for last

time Jim took ya. Father Mick and I went bush

looking to bring you back because school term

had started and you were doing pretty good

there. We found you out Thangool way, thin as

my finger, swollen joints, naked, white haired. I

dared to tell Jim, no more. We'd put you on the

train to Star of the Sea come hell and high

water. That night it did come to that. Jim, Jack

and Michael had words. Thinking agreement

had been reached all three come out home for a

feed then got on the grog, a big row blew up.

PAT I see all-yah - Shouting in the night. [PAT is

back there in the action with voices spewing out

of him] them yelling on the verandah, fucking

this and bloody that, them fighting, them falling

down the stairs. You above on the verandah

holding me here - Jimmy shouting, [As JACK]

Mate. Mate. Mate. [As WALSH] Brother.

Brother. All three punching and spitting, vomit

and blood all the way from the house, down the

back yard into the bush and beyond to Kariboe

Creek. There they go, three men spinning into

darkness. Two white fellas slow and silent

stagger back. Jack holds you and Father Mick

cradles me. Jack's hand reaches for me.

"Jiman's gone for good, son. He’s gone out West.

You get back to school. I'll take care of this. Was

Jack killed..

REEN Jack did not kill Daylight.

PAT Then who? I can't be and not be no moment

more.


REEN This is our new day and hurt is being undone,

stories will be looked at again but with new

eyes, seeing it as it is, son, not half dreams. I

pray for that. I work for that.

PAT Who killed old Daylight? An Eagle-fella, but

can't see his face.

WALSH I am an exile from Erin's island

By Brisbane waters I'm cursed to stay

My prison here is a hell on earth, Lord, and

Everyday is my judgement day.

PAT Horatio? Mikkoloo... [Exit]

[JACK enters and stops her following PAT.]

JACK Look here, love..

REEN Where you been? You been drinking?

JACK Irene. I have a real confession to make. Listen, I

had intended to vote against the referendum -

let me finish- not against you, it's different,

you're my wife - I debated it with the some of

the Party big wigs. To me it was flagrant

intrusion by the Commonwealth on our States

rights. I'm a Queenslander first and we do

things our way and no one tells us what to do

but I came round, I saw the bigger picture and

gave it go. Common sense, no buts about it. I

think that swung me the nod for the Senate.

Might even get us a knighthood if I behave

myself. Sir Jack and Lady K. Then enter Bron,

The Wanderer, so him just when things are

going good. The kerfuffle with the gun. His

barely legal property deals with Roy's Uncle,

Nah, Reen, any whiff of illegal doings, for me

and you, all over bar the shouting. Jings,

Reenie, I'm trying to do the right thing, the

decent thing by everyone. I'm Jack of it!

[Laughs]! Happy Jack. Brian's changed his will,


mongrel's changing everything else, he’s even

bulldozed Shakespeare. Seriously, Pat, can’t

inherit so it will all go to some joker called

Norman La Mord. Jings, the work, the effort, I

put into that land. These hands worked that.

These feet know every yard, every link and

chain. Not him, the actual owner, he's off

gallivanting, guzzling the Cherry Cheer, doing

his thing, meeting Chips Rafferty and Diane

Cilento, the while we're barely surviving.

What'll I be without the money and the land? I

need the property and the name. Can I walk off

and get a job at the back pub as a yardman..?

WALSH [sings]

She stepped away from me

And she went through the fair

And fondly I watched her move here and there

And then she went homeward with one star

awake

As the swan in the evening moves over the lake

JACK Are there still feelings there? You'n..

REEN Jack, don't. Michael was kind to me after your

brother. Yeh, yeh, he wanted a woman, wanted

children and you know how good a friend when

Pat was born..

[Jack sips his drink.]

REEN You swore off the grog.

JACK On bended knee. We both did. What can you

do?

REEN No the show's about to start. [They sit]

[The National anthem is played. Actors enter

directed and placed by GWEN.]

GWEN Its beginners! Onstage, please.


HAYES [To REEN] Gorgeous! Emeralds.

REEN Borrowed stones. And they’re not mine

anymore.

GWEN Where's Pat?

ROY Gone to the boxing at Jambin with Bron.

GWEN What?

ROY I saw them leave in the cop car with that pig.

GWEN C’mon. First Positions. And.


A SPECIAL PROVIDENCE

[The School of Arts concert gala begins.]

ALL Life is great in the Sunshine state,

Ev'ry Queensland heart sings a song

To its table lands and its golden sands

We are proud to say we belong...

REEN We belong! [Takes the port]

JACK Ladies and Gentleman, Girls and Boys,

Welcome to the Good' ole Bilo School of Arts.

And after a great day, what a wonderful night

we've got with songs and skits, items and bits of

an old play .

ALL Faith is great in the Sunshine State

For our Queensland future is grand

From the northern cane to the western plain

Its a full of promise land.

JACK And what a future. You know I've been a strong

advocate for the power house and the dam with

a new line - The train’s due this very night - an

Diesel Electric climax to the gala shebang! [All

applaud.] A lot of money coming in and where

once lay virgin bush, will burgeon lawn green

slopes, a picnic spot with barbecues, swings and

water ski facilities [ROY helps with mime.]

ROY Whoop de doh! -

JACK Steady, or you'll come a Gutsah! [ROY mimes a

skier fall.] - whoopsy-daisy. See it all there -

rendered artistically - by the good lady wife.


RENE I was never a good lady, Jack.

JACK Give us a smile, darl?

ALL All the while every mile

There's a sun lit smile

And a welcome hand shake too

For friendship great

In the Sunshine State

May it sunshine keep smiling

Keep smiling -

Keep smiling -

Keep smiling on -

GWEN Tribute to Bron! Dr. Walsh!

WALSH Big hand for Captain Jack, our Master of

Ceremonies, a man beyond compare

ALL Boom Boom!

WALSH As for his brother, Brian Killoran who re-

invented himself as Bronson Savage. Are you

there, Bron? A great patron of the Arts

TED [Aside] Pain in the arse.

WALSH It was you who erected this edifice financed in

part by the family fortune and by a popular lady

contest- which he judged and Irene Daylight

won.

TED [Aside] And he gave her one.

WALSH This grand old hall in which we cast our vote

this very day and made good our history. Nearly

ninety percent said Yes, a tribute to your

efforts, Irene.

REEN Thank you, one and all! This country is our

sacred ground. In the old times, right here,

Jiman made sorry ground.


GWEN Stick to the script Reen. Miss Muriel Hayes.

HAYES Thank you. How glad I am to be here in your

opera house of corrugated iron, wood and stone,

with sawdust pops on the floor, and roasting

pink and blue gels in the lamps, this temple of

our town.

GWEN Our School of Arts. Recall how here one made

one's debut at The Freemason’s Ball. Passed our

scholarship. Paid our fines and dues and rates

until the magistrates and police moved up to

Krombit Street. Here one learnt the Art of

Speech, to sing, to dance and some to just show

off. Boys! [Cues PAT, ROY and TED who cross

in Footy Mime]

JACK Here the referees and touch judges of the local

rugby league made their deliberations on the

Sunday game. That ref from Sydney - one-eyed

bastard wasn't he, lost us the grand final

against Thangool with that decision on a double

movement.

WALSH But like the old days, this auditorium of our

hopes and dreams will soon be gone.

JACK Yes, on that site a new civic centre is being

designed by the same firm of architects who did

the toilet block. However, no amount of brick

from Brisbane can match the spirit invested

here. Queensland’s more than just Brisbane so

without further ado - let’s move from the

Eucalypt to the Shamrock, from the Drover to

the Four Leafed Clover - Dr Michael Walsh.

WALSH My young love said to me

My mother wont mind

And my father won’t slight you

For your lack of kind

And she stepped away from me


And this she did say

It will not be long love

Till our wedding day

ASHTON Ding! What'you comes as?

PAT [Doing his crazy dance] White Rage Black Grief!

Black Rage White Grief! [To REEN] Bron's

gone. Going to the boxing, near the old dump he

fell. Custard took him up the hospital. Poor

bugger me' eh! Me Dad's dead.

REEN I must tell Jack..

PAT Tell no one. It’s my story.

HAYES Dead. Stop the show.

PAT No Miss Hayes, his last wish we go on.

HAYES Yes, we must go on with the show. Bron! Bron!

WALSH Day O! Day O!

Daylight come and we wanna go home.

Day O! de-de day de-de day de-de day O!

Daylight come and we wanna go home, wanna

go home, wanna go home.

TED What's this?

REEN Another Frolic in the Bush [Giving him the

Port]

GWEN Start shunting! Luggage. Baggage. Stations. A

Train! All board.

ALL Bogantungan!

Rollingstone!

Mungar!

Murgon

Marathon

Guthalungra


Pinken Bar

Wanko Yamba - Ha Ha Ha

On the Queensland Railways Lines

There are places where one dines

Private individuals also run refreshment stalls

Bogantungan Rollingstone

Mungar Murgon Marathon

Guthalungra Pinken Bar

Wanko Yamba - Ha Ha Ha!

ROY Where are we?

TED Knock, knock!

ROY Who's there?

TED Wandoan!

ROY Wandoan who?

TED Wandoan, two to go!

ALL Boom Boom.

[PAT in black and white make-up joins the

train.]

ALL Bogantungun, bogantungun,

bogantungun....mungar murgon marathon.

mungar murgon marathon. [drunkenly] mungar

mungar mungar mungar

PAT Knock, Knock!

ALL Who's there? [drunkenly]

PAT Mundubbera!

ALL Mundubbera who? [drunkenly]

PAT Mundubbera da influent of dalcohol!

ALL Boom Boom! [drunkenly]


PAT Say Baralaba. Mundubbra! [JACK does as the

train rattles and rocks to]

ALL Barralabar Munduberra Baralabar

Mundubbera

Pies and coffee, baths and showers

Are supplied at Charters towers

At Mackey, the rule prevails

Of restricting showers to males

ASHTON White males!

ALL Males and females

high and dry

hang around at durakai

Booramugga Djarwong

Gilligulgul Wonglepong!

MEN Wongle.

WOMEN Pong.

HAYES Pong!

ROY Where are we?

TED The Land of Graft and Corruption

JACK Grafton! There’s no Grafton in Queensland.

[Train whistle]

ALL Boom Boom!

Booramugga Djarwong

Booramugga Djarwong

ALL Dirran bandi Dirran bandi Dirran bandi

Dirrinbandi Dirrinbandi. Garradunga.

Garradunga ssshhhh.

TED Knock!

ROY Who!


TED Gayndah!

ROY Gayndah who?

TED Gayndah confidence and phucked-ah senseless!

GWEN Language! Rise above it! Rise above it.

ALL Rise above it, Rise above it! Rise above it. [A

very fast train rhythm]

ALL So. let us toast before we part

Those who travel stout of heart

drunk or sober, rain or shine

on the Queensland railway line.

JACK Next item: Popular song, a Vocal Duet with

Michael Walsh and Irene Killoran.

[All except JACK exit to wings.]

HAYES Bron's dead.

WALSH Dead? How..

HAYES Pat said..

WALSH Patrick...

[REEN guides WALSH onstage.]

WALSH & Ah de do ah de do dah day etc.

REEN He whistled and he sang till the whole bush

rang

And he won the heart of a lady

A Gypsy Rover came over the Hill

Down to the valley so shady

He whistled and he sang till the bush land rang

And he won the heart of a lady.

[BACKSTAGE]


PAT Dad told me Roy did not fire the gun that done

him, there was a second shot from the wings,

behind the "our arse"

TED Behind the arras? [From the wings] Gwen?

HAYES Don't be ridiculous! What possible motive?

TED Same motive as you as Jack, Reen, The Land.

Real estate.

HAYES Bron told you this before he died. I'm getting

the Sergeant.

PAT Wait. He already knows. Help me will you. I

think I know now who killed Jimmy Daylight,

and who maybe my father killer too. Eagle

fella..

GWEN No talking backstage. [Suddenly appears]

HAYES We're rehearsing.

WALSH & He/I is/am no gypsy father, dear

REEN but lord of these land all over

I'm going to stay till my dying day

with my whistling Gypsy Rover

HAYES [Exit GWEN] I've seen the eagle. No. If any of

this is true, if anyone it had to be Roy.

ROY It wasn’t me. It just went off. It was….

GWEN Roy! You’re on.

TED He's on. We're on.. Pat! The volunteer! [Exits]

[ONSTAGE. JACK enters.]

JACK We have seen him walk up and down stairs that

aren't there and through doors and hit his head

on imaginary things. He's a good little mime

who my brother plucked from obscurity in

Toowoomba.


[TED and ROY enter. Others hover.]

TED For his next trick, we'll need a volunteer. Pat

get on here.

[PAT enters with a cane toad in the black velvet

Hamlet doublet.].

TED Ladies and Gentleman, the curse of Far North

Queensland, the most hated foreigner since the

White Australia Policy - the cane toad, Trev.

So, Roy, no more items and skits and other

bourgeoise middle of the road bits, Put the

Gallah into Gala; Show us the power of

theatrical madness.

ROY Give me space! No-one ever listens to me so…..

[ROY puts the cane toad into his mouth.]

JACK What are you doing?

ROY Now I’ve finally got your attention. [retching]

Sorry – the gland. [retching] It wasn’t me who

killed Bron. It was…... [Vomiting runs off]

JACK What sort of hippy drongo are you! Bloody

stupid wooftah!

TED Anarchy!

[PAT and TED bundle ROY up and carry him

into the WINGS. Followed by JACK. GWEN and

HAYES in FALSE PROMPT].

HAYES Gwen, have you studied the priest in the raw.

GWEN What are you suggesting, woman!

HAYES He is tattooed with an eagle. Could he have

murdered Pat's father and Old man Daylight?

GWEN Muriel, have you taken your pills dear, you’re

jabbering.


HAYES And now Bron is dead.

GWEN Dead, dead, dead. I must get Doctor Walsh.

Who else knows?

HAYES Gwen are you in on this?

GWEN Good God almighty. I’ll end up in Goodna with

the rest of you. Jack! Jack! We're going on.

Frolics in the Bush. Call it.

JACK And now the highlight of the whole damn thing!

Our very own Savage melodrama, Cooee or

Frolics in the Bush!

[ONSTAGE, MELINDA MOSS, the Squatter’s

Daughter with COOEEE, her noble savage, a

near naked blacked-up TED, comes on and they

perform a very serious movement piece in which

the Squatters Daughter becomes pregnant to

COOEE. Music; Romeo and Juliet and

Didgeridoo,]

[BACKSTAGE]

REEN He knows, Mick, the time for secrets and

excuses is over.

WALSH I did a terrible thing for you, for him. In all our

dealings, Reen, I meant no harm only good but

harm was done and continues.

REEN I was grateful, Michael, but no one can be

eternally grateful..

WALSH Yes, yes, Gratitude has its limit, like lust, only

so much then it becomes poison. Pat is so young

like you were with me, but you were love, he is

rage. We in our sorrow grieve. Young things like

Pat can barely imagine our grief.

REEN Your grief!


WALSH I grieve alone which makes it all the more

humiliating.

JACK Did you see Roy’s skit! Some whacko ordeal to

prove he did not try and kill Bron.

WALSH He did not. I'm certain of that. Jack, He's gone.

Your brother's died without the Sacrament of

Extreme Unction and not in a state of Grace,

alas..

JACK Fuck his State of Grace. Not a word of this must

get out. I can trust Cunningham. I have got to

get the body and get it out as fast as I can to the

cold room on the property. He cannot be dead

until we've passed the bill abolishing death

duties. Don't look at me like that, the land's no

use if it’s repossessed. I'm gunna do whatever I

have to do.

[PAT emerges from the shadows.]

REEN What can you do? The drink made beggars of us

all..

WALSH I'm giving myself in. Gladly. We are all under

that act.

PAT Heh! Cooeee!

JACK You throw that spear at me again. I'll use this

on you.

PAT You shoot that old piece at me mate and you be

bung. I'll take care of you Uncle, not a skin

thing but akin thing.

JACK You are a Killoran, aren't ya!

PAT No Uncle, I'm Ding! Da Daylight, Man!

[In the WINGS with JACK and PAT. GWEN

enters and gives JACK the gun.]


GWEN Here is the gun. Loaded. With blanks. I

checked. Father Walsh gave it his blessing.

PAT Mrs. Frawley, you on the grog?

GWEN I had a scotch and its none of your bloody

business..

PAT Language! [PAT shakes the spear.] Plum Jam!

[ONSTAGE]

TED Listen, Melinda, to the bush to find cheer, for

into this savage and natural beauty, will be born

unto us, a child of love who'll reconcile our

division making a new harmony. [Bush cracks

and disturbed birds]

ASHTON What noise is that? I fear Father will pursue

and slaughter me and you. He is Protector and

you count nothing to him but as a slave beneath

the Act. His vengeful brother, Roderick and the

native police.

TED My tribal enemies …

ASHTON Will track us here and will not blanch to drive

home their spear and fill your perfect ebon form

with deadly pellets lethal.

[In front of the shire drop, a clump of bush and

hill. GWEN does the bird calls. JACK carries the

script. PAT enters doing deadly treacking.]

JACK Don't worry Jiman, mate, with native tracking

skills we'll find them, take our revenge, and

bring her back to the loving embrace of her own

kind. Besides I'll let you into my scheme, we will

pretend friendship and get them to lay down

their arms, then at a signal from me, my

brother, a sworn law officer, who is secreted with

troopers in the scrub will fire a shot and in the

melee that ensues we will disperse them for

good...and all. What's that? [bird call late] Oh,

yes, what was that...


PAT Kookoobin. There is only one bird I seek. [Doing

his deadly Abo act] Smoke, Boss! Up in

Thangula Country! [More bird calls]

[They exit as TED and ASHTON enter.]

TED Boo-vook, the owl warns danger approacheth

nigh! Where is my fearless watchman - Koora.

Roy! Roy!

[PAT enters for ROY.]

PAT Koora Roy is um... bunda! All over the back

veranda! I'm doin' him.

TED Koora, how many strange blackfellas you see?

PAT I'm looking at one, Mate. Oh! You mean besides

you? Here comes a gum tree, what can it tell us?

[HAYES enters as a tree and rustles her leaves.]

PAT [Listening to tree] From the bluffs… their

hidden.. guns are trained on us..

TED And we have only spears [JACK enters.] Shit!

On too soon.

[Then ROY enters in the black body suit with a

spear. HAYES passes the bush to ROY.]

HAYES Here mime this. Not yet, Jack!. Is that the

kettle? I'll get it. [Exit]

JACK Make mine white with two, thanks.

GWEN Stick to the script.

ASHTON O, my beloved Father..

JACK O, my darling daughter. I forgive you. Listen we

are come in friendship and in token whereof, we

lay down our arms, do you the like and we will

sit down around the Boree Log and have words..

[A gunshot. WALSH enters.]


WALSH Stop it here and now. All of you. Let's forget the

old plays, forget all our nonsense, and start to

really talk and listen and not make old

speeches. Pat. Patrick. This is what you looking

for.

PAT The Eagle Fella! Thou...thou...Thy.. Inai.

[Takes a spear and raises it to strike at WALSH.]

JACK Don't. Pat, We can sort it out, I can cover for

you but not that.

REEN Jack, Let ‘em.

JACK Let the Sergeant deal with this Pat!

WALSH Me. Pat, me who killed Jimmy Daylight.

PAT Gimme Jimmy!

JACK No, Pat!

GWEN What are you doing! [To WALSH]

PAT Making plum jam, Missus, plum jam, plum

jam. [First stab in the left thigh]

WALSH No. Get out of the way. We want this. He needs

this. This is between him and me. Christ,

against the death wound and the burning,

protect me, Jesus, till thy returning.. Your name

sake wrote that Patrick! Come on Pat, I'm facing

you, my head’s down. We'll make this School of

Arts a Sorry Ground...

GWEN Michael stop now... please listen to me!

WALSH Its for the best. First inquest into Jim's death

because of his undiagnosed malaria amd a

recurring ear infectoion, they gave me the

benefit of the doubt with a verdict of death by

misadventure. The Killoran money got me out of

it and away to Rome and study. That is true and

you should know.


JACK Enough Mick, you're losing your audience.

WALSH Why would a Killoran support the Yes vote?

Money, me darlin'! Funding is what it is about,

eh Jack? What it means is an influx of federal

money, that'll be the real difference, otherwise

no great change. A history of unjust enrichment

is the Killoran's endowment, dear Jesus, we are

all guilty of that, our beautiful state of comfort

is his lack of comfort, my ease, his disease. My

son, listen , I did learn in my long act of

contrition for that hapless killing, all men are

powerless against chance, all of us, not just

blackfellas. But Pat, you like me, we surplus

hearts, know what to expect - nothing.

PAT I am not like you, Mikkoolo..

WALSH Worse for you. They'll fit you in and then scrub

you out with turps and sugar soap. So! What to

do? Mr. Daylight? What next for you Pat? Make

yourself into Whiteman, a Killoran. You'll have

a fighting chance of survival.

Half cast is neither here nor there. Cross breed

is an outcast, not even a honest to goodness

Abo. [Pat stabs again] Abo!

[PAT raises the spear as WALSH falls to his

knees.]

REEN Be wise. Be different from him. You have

nothing to be ashamed of. Pat, you are free.

PAT Yeh! I belong no one and no one belong me!

[A silence. A magical stillness as PAT looks on

WALSH and the others around him and lowers

his spear.]

[This moment is broken by huge metallic two

toned horn blasts. A hand bell rings. The door at

the back of the Hall is thrown open and we see

the gold and silver of the big diesel shunting


down the line behind the School of Arts. All

watch as the future rumbles into town past the

back door of the School of Arts. Then all look out

to the audience in the Hall.]

SAVAGE The future's upon us and we're still in a dream!

GWEN The cat came back..

HAYES More bloody farewells than Melba!

CUNNINGHAM Righto. Deal with that in a mo. What do ya

know! You've lost your audience. They've all

bloody gone, left to see the new engine, shot

through to gawp at the next big thing. How

about that! The Old School of Arts empty. Gone!

[Shades his eyes from the stage lights] Most of

them. Few undecided still in the pews. Those of

you who are left, who saw all this, keep it to

yourselves if you know what's good for you.

JACK None of this went on. Right! There's Mac’s beer

under the tarp. Free. And refreshments

courtesy of the CWA.

SAVAGE Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and the rest of your

blessed cast. Mick ..

WALSH When I saw him in Hamlet, really in it and

what he was trying to do, I knew.. [Faint from

loss of blood]

JACK Sergeant, look to your charge.

SAVAGE Kindly, Val, I beg...

CUNNINGHAM Ah, Mick, one helluva bastard. Not you the

paperwork. We'll get you the ambulance, mate,

then I'm taking you over the watchhouse. Come

on Father, no funny business, there are

Constables at every door, Protestants from

Thangool.


PAT No. Let him be, our business is done, you and

me are dealt with according to custom and lore.

[Holding WALSH]

CUNNINGHAM You gin of kid, no more taking the Law in your

own hands, that's my job. You'll be lucky not to

get a charge of attempted murder if this goes

any further.

PAT No, tell him Dad, that was before, now it's

after..

WALSH There are no friends in the furnace..

[WALSH is removed.].

CUNNINGHAM When I get back you fill me in, eh! how this

came about?

SAVAGE So shall you hear of carnal bloody and

unnatural acts.

CUNNINGHAM That'd be about right. [Exits]

TED Purposes mistook fallen on the inventors head,

all this can I deliver. [Exit to find the Port]

REEN Well here we all are. Just like a real family.

JACK Where is your fucking dignity?

SAVAGE On the prop table. With my wig.

JACK And all's well in your will, eh, with nothing

coming to us. When you hinted what you were

doing, I had an inkling, Brian

SAVAGE My dear Jack, I'm spent.

JACK All what should be mine would go to your

bastard son, the living Daylight. Nothing to

your mongrel brother.

REEN Jack no more. Pat is our son, not his..


JACK Yeh, yeh, but its the principle. You know, Reen, it is more than just Land, yes, it’s the loss. Oh,

well, the whole bloody place is mortgaged to

Kingdom come. Maybe we are well rid of the

burden. Even so, I intend to contest this will if

ever comes to that. Norman la Mord will never

get his hands on that land. I will challenge and

counterclaim in the courts.

SAVAGE The rest pack up and bump out quickly we can

be out of here.

ROY Yeh! Get this muck off.

HAYES We are but standers-by in your little theatre!

Golden Amateurs.

SAVAGE John, Senator, I need something from you. Will

you help sort this out for me, for him, us, with

Cunningham and the powers that be? I will be

eternally grateful, you'll see. Trust me just this

once more. You’re a Country Party Senator,

Jack, you understand there is no such thing as

conflict of interest, there’s only convergence of

interest.

JACK Very practical philosophy.

SAVAGE So let us converge shall we..

[SAVAGE and JACK stand apart in deep

discussion. Outside the train is shunting and the

occasional bang of buffers and clank of coupling.

Lights from the outside world seem brighter and

the old Hall dims. The main event is now

elsewhere.]

PAT Shakespeare's play ends much better.

REEN No fear, they're all dead in the old play. Son of

mine, Knowledge does not come with death. All

knowing there is, is here, in life, where you are.

Get out and get your dreaming. I'm here. Jack,

you coming home? [To Pat] Come out home, eh?


JACK Just you and me, starting over. Irene, we are all

we got. But, yes, we've had words, and with a

little push and pull on my connections, I'll get

the surface rights for those dam blocks and

subdivisions, refinance...

[CUNNINGHAM re-enters.]

CUNNINGHAM Hold your horses.

JACK Oh, Val, you got a map of Queensland? Mark

the district of your choice, will ya. I'll have a

word to the Minister, little mate of mine.

CUNNINGHAM Big mate, the big fella! Right-oh, Senator. You'll

still owe me but. [JACK and REEN exit] There

you go Pat, you lucky little bastard, you got

connections now but you gotta do something,

you can redeem yourself in everybody's eyes and

no mucking about if you don't wait for

conscription but sign up and do your Nasho.

[Calls] Gwen! [To Pat] Put your life on the line.

Prove you mean something to your country.

Then you'll count. I'll drive you myself to

Gladstone. Cavalry, my old mob are off to Nam.

I'll get an emu feather for your hat! Act your

way out of that, you mongrel!

PAT Oh, then I'll be a good bastard like you, eh

Custard?

CUNNINGHAM Mrs. Frawley! Where's Gwen? Where is that

other gun? Two guns! Where is the other?

HAYES Anyone got a smoke? I've given up! Ah light!

[ROY offers her a rollie. CUNNINGHAM offers

her a light.]

CUNNINGHAM Its not one of them happy Maryjarhoochy

double bungers is it?

HAYES Sergeant, I'm strictly cigarettes and

champagne! Will you help me bump out! My

bags to the train. What next?


CUNNINGHAM There'll be an enquiry and the right decisions

made in due course.

HAYES I meant for you, Val. Where to?

CUNNINGHAM Crow's nest. Maybe Esk! [HAYES exiting with

her bags to the train]

HAYES Esk and you shall receive..

CUNNINGHAM I got horses. I love a thoroughbred well rid

mare.

TED Giddy up, Miss Hayes...

[TED leads ASHTON with his port. TED opens

it and takes out the book.]

SAVAGE Custard in love! What next! What are you going

to do, throw it at me. It was a good idea and

worth a try. I thought it might work.

TED It was bad idea.

ASHTON And he thought he'd get away with it.

SAVAGE What is this! Fucking Greek chorus! [GWEN

enters.] The Furies.

TED Typical, your ludicrous plot would strain the

credibility of a pensioners’ matinee, with their

hearing aids on high.

SAVAGE Plot has ceased to interest me, it’s character!

[ROY has now joined them.] Roy, Haven't been

able to get a word in edgeways but never mind,

you're a mime. Mime us a chair, there's a good

fella. I'll talk to your Uncle, he's talking to the

fraud squad, his book-keeping is so Baroque

they are prepared to make a deal if he'll explain

it. [ROY gets a chair.]

ASHTON Have you anything to say for yourself? Really

say!


SAVAGE Now the audience have gone and left us in the

School of Arts, the play unfinished, not much

point. Besides they got what we promised a

laugh and tear and home by ten.

GWEN We're running over.

SAVAGE Ring down the curtain then. Don't want them to

miss the last train...

GWEN Or maybe the entrance of Norman La Mord.

SAVAGE He doesn't appear.

TED Mentioned though. He is the fencing master.

[With the book]

[ROY enters with chair.]

ROY You are him.

SAVAGE Thank you, I must sit. Am I he?

TED Master of forgery of shapes and tricks.

SAVAGE Ah! Had I but studied the arts!

TED Arts Law..

GWEN ...Smart arse

SAVAGE Norman La Mord is ….

GWEN Norman La Mord is a fraud.

TED A character who is in Hamlet but never

appears.

SAVAGE In my case, a company owned by me and Roy's

Uncle.

TED Great Uncle.

SAVAGE Fine cover with good investments in futures

such as bull’s semen.

GWEN Bull shit! [Exits with fierce determination]


SAVAGE Language! This shell company registered off-

shore, in Fiji, in the event of my death and your

failure to inherit it, I would get the land. I

thought if I could stage my own demise with

Roy's participation, I might solve my financial

woes.

TED Why didn't you tell me this?

ROY I'm a mime.

TED What! Act stupid and keep your mouth shut,

you should go into politics. So, you playing

dead, living on as Norman, another name

change to protect the guilty! The will is read,

under the act, Pat could not inherit, or, subject

to the law's delay and all would be well, or much

the same as it was.

SAVAGE One day, Pat, but in the meantime, this

Killoran country is my real estate. Oh, what's it

matter, You can't make history, it makes you.

Roy shot me in the wrong scene and then Gwen

fired a live round at me. She told Walsh in

confession, and he became inspired to make his

own atonement.

PAT What about you?

SAVAGE There is no me. Guilty as charged. Strike these

skips to the back dock and let’s move on. The

past is receding, memory a distraction, and

we've a train to catch to tomorrow's

performance. Join us, you auditioned well. Be

with us, for Merchant of Venice, day after

tomorrow, Mackay and ever onwards deeper

North...

PAT I'm asking you for something?


SAVAGE To demand pardon is a kind of vengeance.

Sorrow heaps ashes on everyone, innocent and

guilty alike. I've talked enough son. You got us

all here, got us going? Now then, what are you

going to do?

PAT Custard wants me to fight for my country in

Vietnam. Uncle Jimmy was a soldier. No. The

real fight is here.

SAVAGE` Jim, was born in Jiman Country under a ghost gum and there they...we buried him beneath

that single tree up the old dump where they'll

put the new civic centre.

PAT Come now before they do. There will be a song

there. We'll find him and bury him in a quiet

place in Daylight Country

[Exit into Daylight Country]

SAVAGE Off he goes, a new explorer crossing the great

divide! Who’s there

[GWEN comes from the WINGS with the gun.]

GWEN It is loaded and many a roo shoot has taught me

the difference between a live round and a blank,

thank you very much. There are no good

bastards, just lying bastards. I followed your

career, kept all the cuttings and clippings in

scrap books of the good old days and you repaid

me with scorn and indifference and chucked me

to beggary. Didn't even have the common

courtesy to acknowledge my happiness ..

SAVAGE You had your chance, dear, and you stuffed it.

GWEN Everything I put into it. You were my life

savings! I came back because you asked. You

promised me that as we had so many memories

in common, Bron, I could see you were going to

need a companion and taking care in your


dotage, and we might as well share, or, at least

be close by, why not, a life on the veranda by

the sea, all above board, above it all. Have you

nothing to say?

SAVAGE Is that the kettle! ...

[CURTAIN]


The School of Arts was first performed in a joint production by

Queensland Theatre Company and Queensland Performing Arts

Centre in Brisbane in July 2009.

The cast was:

Christine Amor Muriel Hayes

Bille Brown Bronson Savage

Leon Cain Roy Tibbets

Sophia Emberson-Bain Quinny Ashton

Andrew Legg Patrick Daylight

Peter Marshall Sergeant Cunningham

Sally McKenzie Gwen Frawley

Joss McWilliam Jack Killoran

Paula Nazarski Irene Killoran

Christopher Sommers Ted Buckridge

Ian Stenlake Michael Walsh

Michael Gow Director

Anna Borghesi Designer

Matt Scott Lighting Designer

Jo Currey Associate Lighting Designer

Phil Slade Composer/Sound Designer

Scott Witt Fight Director

Cristian Pildich Producer (QPAC)

Melanie Wild Assistant Director

Kitty Taube Design Assistant

Jason Glenwright Lighting Design Assistant

Dr Eve Fesl Indigenous Language Consultant

Roxanne McDonald Indigenous Artistic Consultant

Peter Sutherland Stage Manager

Jessica Audsley Assistant Stage Manager

&

Documents

School of Arts Performance edition - Australian Plays Transform