The Lived Experience of Gratitude

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published online 7 November 2013Journal of Humanistic PsychologyPatty Hlava and John Elfers

The Lived Experience of Gratitude

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Article

The Lived Experience of Gratitude

Patty Hlava1 and John Elfers1

AbstractThis study broadens the construct of gratitude by exploring the lived phenomenal experience in a targeted sample of 51 participants with diverse demographic profiles. Participant descriptions of gratitude experience revealed both thematic patterns in somatic experience and a range of appraisals that included joy, love, awakening, release, awe, and feeling blessed. Cognitive appraisals showed significant correlation between meaning and intensity of gratitude affect, and their influence on relationship boundaries between “self” and “other.” Conclusions point to (a) the need for an expanded definition of the transactional nature of gratitude that accounts for the affective range of emotional experience, (b) the intentionality of gratitude focused on a transpersonal “other,” (c) the frequency and characteristics of the occurrence of an overwhelming emotional experience of gratitude associated with awe, and (d) the potential impact of gratitude on relational boundaries between self and other.

Keywordsgratitude, emotion-experience, relationship, affect, transpersonal

Gratitude is a multidimensional construct with a complex profile of affective, cognitive, and expressive features. Gratitude has been defined by its role in reciprocity (Bonnie & de Waal, 2004), its functional role within the dynamics of interpersonal relationships (Buck, 2004), the behavioral or expressive fea-tures that accrue from an experience of gratitude (Fredrickson, 2004), or by

1Sofia University, Palo Alto, CA, USA

Corresponding Author:Patty Hlava, 4111 3rd Street NE, Unit 201, Minneapolis, MN 55421, USA. Email: [email protected]

508605 JHPXXX10.1177/0022167813508605Journal of Humanistic PsychologyHlava and Elfersresearch-article2013

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2 Journal of Humanistic Psychology XX(X)

the intrapersonal dynamics of affect, cognition, disposition, and coping strat-egies (McCullough, Emmons, & Tsang, 2002). The purpose of this study is to enlarge the understanding of gratitude by exploring the immediate, lived experience of gratitude as it arises within human consciousness.

The Construct of Gratitude

Social science research emphasizes the adaptive function of reciprocal giving and receiving in the creation of obligations and the maintenance of bonding in human communities (Bonnie & de Waal, 2004; Lazarus & Lazarus, 1994). “Beneath the warm feelings of gratitude resides an imperative force, a force that compels us to return the benefit we have received” (Komter, 2004, p. 195). The expression of gratitude varies with the perceived value of the gift, the intention of the benefactor, and the level of sacrifice involved in giving (McCullough & Tsang, 2004). In a study of gratitude, Algoe, Haidt, and Gable (2008) revealed that two powerful predictors of gratitude were the perception that the benefactor was being sensitive to personal needs and wishes, and enjoyment of the benefit.

Research has highlighted the correlation of positive emotions with a sense of subjective well-being, and its role in interpersonal and social relationships (Fredrickson, 2004). Both awareness and expression of gratitude have been associated with measures of well-being (Lambert, Clark, Durtschi, Fincham, & Graham, 2010; Watkins, 2004). McCullough et al. (2002) link gratitude to positive affective traits, well-being, and pro-social traits, hinting that grati-tude plays an important social role outside of reciprocal gift-giving. Some research is also pointing to the role of gratitude as a component of relation-ship building (Algoe et al., 2008) and relationship maintenance (Hlava, 2010; Kubacka, Finkenauer, Rusbult, & Keijsers, 2011). Fredrickson (2003, 2009), in particular, has demonstrated the potential for positive emotions to broaden and expand the possible range of expressive responses, using these as defin-ing features of positive emotion.

Emotion is not a unitary phenomenon, but arises as the confluence of highly contextualized perceptions, reflections, and autonomic responses (Helm, 2009). Neither are emotions exclusively passive or active processes, but they are created in the interaction of self and other, involving agency, attribution, and receptivity (Ortony, Clore, & Collins, 1988; Weiner, 2006). Cognitive models of gratitude focus on the appraisals that the recipient of a gift makes toward the benefactor. In their model of valenced emotional reac-tion, Ortony et al. (1988) identify gratitude as a compound emotion, placing it at the confluence of emotions with attributions toward an “other” and emo-tions of well-being.




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In a phenomenological study of positive interpersonal emotions, Carter (2006) classifies appreciation among a “caring cluster” (p. 177) of emotions that emphasizes directionality toward an Other. He proposes a three-way model that distinguishes among (a) feelings oriented toward an Other, which include appreciation, (b) feelings that come from the Other, and (c) feelings mutually shared with an Other. Algoe and Haidt (2009) place gratitude within the family of “other-praising” emotions elicited by the witnessing of exem-plary actions. The emotions of elevation, gratitude, and admiration were shown in this study to differ from the affect of joy and amusement and show some distinctions from each other. Gratitude proved to be a motivator of improved relationships with benefactors (Algoe & Haidt, 2009). This study uncovered a synergistic relationship between elevation and gratitude with gratitude recipients expressing a desire to emulate the behavior of their bene-factors. In a series of studies taking a prototypic approach to gratitude, Lambert, Graham, and Finchman (2009) asked participants to identify their personal understanding of the features of gratitude. The outcome revealed that participants in this study conceptualized gratitude in a broader way than benefit-triggered understandings used by many researchers.

Research Method

The lived experience of gratitude as it arises within individuals has received less attention than studies of relational dynamics (Carter, 2006). The authors of this study believe that “the scientific investigation of feelings . . . requires the apprehension of phenomena and must therefore depend on some sort of first-person account of experience. No third-person method can reveal phe-nomena” (Heavey, Hurlburt, & Lefforge, 2012, p. 763). Frijda (2009) stresses that the investigation of emotion-experience is not done justice by functional interpretations alone. This present study used qualitative inquiry to explore the full range of emotion-experience specific to gratitude to more fully reveal its relational nature (Corbin & Strauss, 2008). Gratitude is an inherently interactional experience involving the perspective of benefactor, beneficiary, and the nature of the benefit itself; a fact that suggests a variety of investiga-tive approaches to reveal subtle dimensions of meaning (Creswell, 2007). Gendlin (2004) invites us to include the body as an inseparable part of the interactional process and the environment. This study took an embodied approach to qualitative inquiry recommended by Todres (2007) to highlight meanings that go beyond representational truth to a level of experience that he describes as “more than words can say” (p. 36). By using questions that give voice to more of the total lived experience, the authors attempted to





illuminate the richness of the behavioral and affective dimensions of grati-tude as it emerges in the context of relationships.

The authors conducted semistructured interviews with 51 participants who ranged in age from 18 to 80 years and reflected diverse demographic profiles (Table 1). A deliberate effort was taken to identify a targeted sample of individuals likely to engage a full range of embodied experience relevant to the topic. An attempt was also placed on identifying a sample that was ethnically diverse and/or with a first language other than English.

Table 1. Participant Demographics.

n

Gender Female 31 Male 20Age range (years) 18-26 6 27-35 12 36-44 14 45-53 8 ≥54 11Ethnicity Caucasian 38 Middle Eastern 3 Eastern European 2 Hispanic 2 African American 1 Indian 1 Korean 1 Russian 1 Indigenous 1First language English 43 Other 8Years of education 12 9 14 3 16 14 18 16 >18 9




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At the outset of the interview, participants were asked to spend a few min-utes in mindful reflection, a framework for systematic self-awareness associ-ated with emotion regulation and pro-social behavior (Vago & Silbersweig, 2012). Participants were then asked to recall a specific experience of grati-tude, focusing on the physiological responses and somatic experience it occa-sioned. The goal was to elicit recall of a high level of physiological sensation. Participant questions included: In what way does the feeling of gratitude show up in your body? Where specifically do you experience the sensations? Follow-up and clarifying questions were used to bring an embodied dimen-sion to the subjective experience of gratitude (Todres, 2007). These questions invited participants to reflect on the relational context of their overall lived experience of gratitude, developmental history, personality orientation, and perceived impact of gratitude on relationships. Only the responses to ques-tions regarding embodied experiences are reported here, the remaining data being reserved for the second phase of this study, which will include a grounded theory analysis.

Interviews were audio-recorded, transcribed verbatim, and coded, using Dedoose® software. The coding cycles used an In Vivo method to preserve verbatim statements of participants, thus allowing the lived experience of gratitude to be expressed in its own terms. The first cycle of coding employed descriptive methods to identify all statements relevant to sensory and somatic experience. The second iteration of coding used a structural method to label and organize statements by content (Saldaña, 2009). Finally, a thematic approach was used to frame the presentation of the lived experience of grati-tude as presented here. An emphasis was placed on identifying experiences common to all participants, as well as features unique to individuals. Throughout the process, the authors repeatedly returned to the original con-text of In Vivo participant descriptions in order to remain faithful to the par-ticipants’ emotion-experience. Pseudonyms were assigned to participants and are used in all data reported here.

Gratitude as Self-Other Relatedness

A primary reported feature of the felt and subjective experience of gratitude was an altered or enhanced feeling of connectedness. Beginning with feelings of appreciation for a tangible gift or personal benefit, the affective responses identified by participants (n = 32) revealed increasing levels of influence on the boundaries that define relationships. Boundaries between self and other were reduced, softened, or attenuated. In his study of positive interpersonal emotions, Carter (2006) concluded that “the pivotal, central aspect of emo-tional experience was the meaning of that experience—what it told the





person about their relationship with the other person” (p. 8). For participants in this study, the intentional object of gratitude often shifted from the receipt of a gift to the value and significance of the relationship with the gift-giver.

The experience of connection in relation to gratitude encompassed a range of feeling—from sensations of feeling physically close, not feeling separate or alone, having a sense of community, enjoying deep communication, to a feeling of merging with something outside of or larger than oneself. Participants illustrated this with the following comments:

That feeling of being enveloped, or embraced, or being touched. It’s like they just know you, like they’ve been there forever, and you’ve been with them forever. (Goldie)

It’s more a sense of feeling connected to people, not that they’re giving me something, a material object but that they’re giving me a part of their heart or something. (Allison)

It was a sense of connectedness. I felt that even sort of our heartbeats sort of synced, just a oneness about the whole situation. (Sue)

The more intense the affect, the more relational boundaries became per-meable, creating states of deep connection in which distinctions between self and other seemed to temporarily dissolve. The state of connectedness or “oneness” described by participants is the cognitive correlate of Lambie and Marcel’s (2002) description of states of immersion, in which preconscious, somatic, and conscious appraisals are indistinguishable. Descriptions of deep connection between self and other were frequently accompanied by height-ened levels of affect and by awareness of physiological and autonomic responses. The attributions in the emotion-experience of oneness were some-times general and impersonal, such as a connection to nature, or life, or a sense of belonging.

Domains of Relationship

In this study, the intentionality of gratitude was focused on the relationship with an Other. The object of relatedness, in which feelings of gratitude arose, divided into three general domains—feeling connected with (1) a part of one-self, (2) an individual or group, or (3) something outside oneself. These three domains are referred to here as the personal, the interpersonal, and the transpersonal. The subjective experience was consistently perceived by par-ticipants as a softening or deepening of relational boundaries, regardless of the domain in which it occurred.




Hlava and Elfers 7

Personal

In this domain, a specific aspect or quality of a person’s body, character, or personality came into relationship with self-conscious awareness, becoming the object of gratitude. Some participants spoke of gratitude as touching their core or their center thus defining a stronger personal connection with their inner self than they typically acknowledge. The feeling was often a deeper, more intimate awareness of the sense of personal self within a relationship.

It is a connection with myself, connection with nature, feeling comfortable in my own skin. (Gwen)

I do think it’s—I think it’s—it is almost—it is kind of a Zen experience in a very active way. But, yeah, I definitely feel connection and at peace with myself. (Ramona)

Interpersonal

A primary context for the meaning of gratitude was in the interpersonal domain. Participants found a renewed sense of connection, even a deep sense of belonging with another. The reported object of this interpersonal relation-ship was variously an individual, a group, a family, or a community.

It’s those grand gestures [of gratitude] that sort of remind you of what you have: wow, that person really is there, and is connected, and is—so it sort of supports the daily sense of gratitude and reinforces it. (Sally)

I feel like a light feeling, and it’s a great feeling of just the love of my family, almost—kind of like sharing, that gratefulness that I’m feeling, it’s almost like it’s coming back at me, and it just puts a smile on my face and a feeling of satisfaction. (Lou)

Yeah, overwhelmed and probably, well, grateful that they’re there because who else would celebrate with me right now when I didn’t know I needed to celebrate. They knew what I needed before I knew that I needed it, and I was really grateful for that. (Roxy)

Transpersonal

All participants (n = 51) identified a personal connection with a presence or an object outside of them that was characterized as other. Transpersonal, by definition, (Walsh & Vaughan, 1993) is an awareness of something larger or beyond the self. The majority of participants (n = 47) identified nature or a





divine presence as the other that triggered a significant experience of grati-tude. While some interviewees identified the experience in response to a question about the spiritual dimension of gratitude, many offered the experi-ence of that connection spontaneously, often in their initial description of a profound gratitude experience. Steindl-Rast (2004) conceptualizes gratitude as a state of thankfulness that operates at the personal level, while also acknowledging the grateful feelings of celebration and transcendence that occur in transpersonal experiences that arise in peak states of universal belonging or cosmic kindness. McCullough et al. (2002) highlight the poten-tial connection between gratefulness and spirituality. “Grateful people may also be oriented toward recognition of non-human forces that might contrib-ute to their well-being in a broader, more existential sense. Stated another way, grateful people may tend to be spiritually inclined” (p. 114).

Transpersonal experiences of gratitude shared all the other features and phenomenal experience found in the other domains. For many, however, the transpersonal experience was the most deeply felt and possessed a high degree of emotional intensity. The unexpected feelings of reverence, disbe-lief, or the sublime were frequently experienced in the context of nature, the sacred, or overwhelming rushes of emotion. Participants were sometimes moved to silence in the face of such powerful feelings, pointing to the inabil-ity to accommodate the experiences cognitively in that moment. The phe-nomenal experience in the transpersonal domain is consistent with Keltner and Haidt’s (2003) definitions of awe from a prototypical study of awe from religious experience, philosophy, and sociology. They identified two primary appraisals that characterize the experience. The first is the perception of inherent vastness and the second is a need to accommodate the experience into existing mental structures. Their overview found that “perhaps the most common experience of awe for contemporary Westerners in egalitarian soci-eties is the response to natural and human-made objects. People feel awe in response to large natural objects, such as mountains, vistas, storms, and oceans” (Keltner & Haidt, 2003, p. 309). A similar experience of awe was a consistent feature of feelings of gratitude in the transpersonal domain for participants in this study.

But I guess it would be some form of a spiritual connection, just a very direct, very personal connection with nature, with the ocean in particular, just being in the water. But it’s more of an experience of bliss or being at peace with the environment and of just feeling full. (Luis)

I think when I’m in those moments [of gratitude], there’s a sense of connection to something greater than me, whatever that is, I’m not even sure. I mean sometimes




Hlava and Elfers 9

I call it “God” or “Higher Power,” and I think that’s part of what the sense of well-being and relaxation is, is the sense that everything is okay just as it is. I’m a part of that; I’m not separate from that. (Allison)

It really was a feeling of—like I had a connection, some connection outside of myself, and it’s a wonderful feeling. (Lou)

Well, nature provides me with a sense of the oneness or the connection of all things being connected. So when I am in nature, I am connected, maybe I’m alone but I’m not lonely. (Sue)

Current models of gratitude involve the feelings and appraisals that result from the receipt of a gift by a benefactor. This model is appropriate to the transactional dynamics of interpersonal relationships. But when a profound feeling of gratitude is felt in response to nature or other transpersonal experi-ence, there is no tangible gift or human benefactor. Participants in this study experienced profound feelings gratitude in response to connections with an extended family or group, nature, God, or higher power. In these instances, there is a clearly defined Other, but the trigger eliciting the felt experience of gratitude is the sense of connection. Rather than a tangible gift or personal benefit, the feeling of connection or the relationship itself is the source of a grateful response. The profound feelings of awe associated with some of these experiences suggest that gratitude may even be in response to the very feeling of awe. Every participant in this study—either spontaneously or in response to a question—offered examples of such experiences. The authors conclude that such experiences are common and that they invite us to expand benefit-triggered models of gratitude to include connections and relation-ships that are transpersonal in nature.

Affective Range of Gratitude

The lived experience of gratitude can also be characterized by its range of intensity. Increased intensity may correspond to a rise in autonomic activity or result from an initial appraisal of meaning and significance. Ortony et al. (1988) define the global variables that affect the intensity of emotion-experi-ence as (a) a sense of reality—the eliciting trigger is perceived as sufficiently real, (b) proximity—the closer in time the greater the emotional intensity, (c) unexpectedness—positive triggers that are unexpected are evaluated more positively, and (d) arousal—an outcome of positive appraisal is arousal, which can be registered physiologically and affect subjective perception. Consistent with Carter’s (2006) findings with positive emotions, the





subjective feelings associated with gratitude were felt along a continuum that ranged from the low intensity to overwhelming.

Participants (n = 21) frequently shared feelings of tearfulness and over-whelming emotion while describing their somatic response to gratitude. These emotions were accompanied by the sense of taking the breath away, of bursting with feeling, or of fullness. Several participants welled up with emo-tion as they described a memory of gratitude. A variety of emotions are men-tioned as descriptors of feeling grateful—joy, love, release, happiness, peace, and security. Moreover, any of those feelings were seen by some to be accom-panied by sensations of being overwhelmed by that specific emotion.

I start tearing because I’m so—it’s an overwhelming emotion. It’s an overflowing with joy kind of feeling. (Joe)

My eyes fill with tears, but I do not feel sadness. I feel at a loss for words and am filled with gratitude and love. (Zoe)

I just burst into tears, and I was crying, I mean, in addition to just the positive feelings of just gratitude and excitement. (Louise)

Many interviewees were quick to point out that the tears were not from sadness. Others were moved to silence when feeling the upwelling of emo-tion associated with gratitude. Some admitted that the power of the emotion made them uncomfortable or that they felt out of control. Thus, the power of the emotion caused some to feel embarrassment or discomfort during the interview and to apologize for the strength of their emotions. Feelings of being overwhelmed by gratitude experience are more consistent with the experience of immersion in which distinctions between self/other temporar-ily merged into a unitary experience.

Overall, participants identified the full range of affective responses to gratitude along a gradient from mild feelings of appreciation to the sensations of upwelling tearfulness. This affective range was independent of features being described. The majority of participants (n = 42) identified at least one experience at the higher range of intensity, indicating that gratitude frequently created responses that were profound and memorable.

Features of Gratitude Experience

In this qualitative study, the raw data are the individual evaluative descriptions that give meaning to the lived emotional experience of gratitude. Some descrip-tions are situated, that is, they identify feelings elicited by a specific event,




Hlava and Elfers 11

while others are generalized descriptions that reminisce over a wide range of examples. The descriptions applied by participants were a cascade of emotion labels that attempt to characterize the lived experience of gratitude: To give it contextual meaning and significance. It is important not to confuse participant emotion words with specific emotions (Wierzbicka, 2009). Language is not a precise medium for describing the intricacies of emotion, since the subtleties of emotion-experience defy labels and words. The descriptions were the outcome of repeated reflection on the shifting nature of the boundaries of a relationship. Some descriptions expanded on the personal experience of affect, while other descriptions highlighted cognitions on the nature and meaning of the self/other relationship. In many cases, it was clear that participants were struggling for the correct word or label and/or that they applied several emotional labels and expressions to the experience. (See Table 2 for a summary of the phenomenal features of gratitude identified by participants.)

Sensations in the Heart and Chest/Warmth

Of the participants describing somatic experiences of gratitude (n = 28), the vast majority (n = 24) experienced some of those sensations as arising in the area of the heart and chest. Some of those (n = 16) identified sensations of warmth and a feeling that the chest or heart was expanding—described as a swelling, a fullness, or lightness. Others described this feeling in the heart as a softening or melting into something larger. The feeling of the breath was

Table 2. Number of Participants Identifying a Particular Emotion or Appraisal in Response to Gratitude.

Phenomena/Appraisals Frequency Percentage

Sensations in heart and chest 28 55Warmth 16 31Release 20 39Awakening 15 29Acceptance/comfort/security 18 35Blessed 15 29Joy 22 43Love 17 33Witnessed 8 15Presence 8 15Awe 12 23Thankful 8 15





identified as being easy, lighter, or expansive, or that there was an increase of oxygen intake. Elaborations of the sensations in the heart and chest included feelings of safety and protection.

I noticed a fullness in my chest like my heart is bursting, and it’s full. Not an uncomfortable feeling, like a warm feeling, almost like love but not as localized or something. It’s less concentrated. It’s just a bigger feeling. (Allison)

A slow dawning, more of a warm feeling inside of you rather than something that suddenly catches you by surprise. (Louise)

[The heart sensation] is not flat. It has dimension. That is why I feel it is the core. (Sophie)

As participants struggled to put words to the experience of gratitude, the feelings in the heart and chest area were sometimes identified as the “core” or center of their being or awareness. That is to say, the intuitive sense of the experience was that it had depth and was defined as touching more of their being than do somatic sensations alone. Closely linked to the sensations in the heart and chest were feelings of warmth. Participants frequently identi-fied the feeling as occurring in the thoracic area of the body, while many participants experienced a flush or rush of warmth in such parts of the body as the abdomen, the throat, the face, or the skin or as a feeling of warmth and flushing in the entire body. Warm and pleasant feelings in the chest are asso-ciated with the vagus nerve, which is part of the soothing effect of the para-sympathetic nervous system (Fredrickson, 2013). Algoe and Haidt (2009) found warm feelings in the chest to be associated with feelings of elevation.

Release

The somatic and psychological feeling of release was a frequent companion to gratitude experiences for participants. The feeling was variously described as letting go, a weight lifted, a feeling of lightness, freedom, and liberation. Release was felt by participants to be a deeply somatic experience, described in terms of shoulders relaxing, a reduction in stress levels, a lighter, bouncier step, and a weight lifted off. Release was frequently accompanied by a sigh or a long slow exhale. Sometimes the feeling of relief was so dramatic that it created a space for other feelings such as happiness and comfort. The descrip-tion of feelings of release was consistent with descriptions of a subjective experience of parasympathetic activity, though no attempt was made to mea-sure that specific activity.




Hlava and Elfers 13

I had, for lack of a better term, a long internal sigh. I was so relieved. (Link)

I just feel so relieved, just like something left my body. (Aneska)

It was like I had a huge weight lifted off of me. (Cait)

I remember being released. I was completely and utterly free. (Herbie)

Awakening

A frequent description of gratitude was the feeling of energy and an increased excitement to be alive. Some participants described it as a feeling of physical awakening, with every cell of the body lighting up. Participants described sensations as coming into sharper focus and of their becoming more alert. Others described it as a slow awakening, as if from a deep sleep. Feelings of excitement were often accompanied by a desire to become involved in activi-ties with a spirit of hopefulness and optimism. Several participants describe the energy as childlike. The term “expansive” was frequently used in this context, highlighting the qualities of openness that characterize a broadened orientation to life.

Every cell of my body is just lit up, festive and celebrating, as if life is given to me once again. (Sophie).

Mischievous, like a little excited kid that cannot contain themselves. (Goldie)

Gratitude brings forth joy, and then joy brings forth the—a childlike experience. (Joe)

I was literally jumping up and down. (Darby)

Comfort, Security, Acceptance

Participants also expressed having had feelings of comfort and security. It was not always clear whether feelings of comfort and security allow for the experience of gratitude, or whether feeling grateful is the catalyst for the experience of security. There were examples of both sequences. The experi-ence of comfort was variously described as feeling grounded and safe, of being contented, or a sense of well-being. Love and acceptance of self and of the world was also described and associated with a sense of rightness or completeness.





I can just be in the world and not in conflict with it. (Jennifer)

Yeah, I felt real grounded, and centered, and refreshed. (Mimi)

There is this thread of deep contentment that runs like an underground river through everything. (Albert)

I’m grateful because there’s that unconditional love and that safety and security, which makes me feel strong and powerful. (Melanie)

Blessed

Another common theme was feeling fortunate, lucky, and blessed. For many participants, this special status afforded by some benefit was also accompa-nied by a feeling of humility, of being undeserving or unworthy of the gift. Being singled out as special created the context for a participant’s assessment of personal worth, a measure of value about the self in relation to others. These feelings did not extend to feelings of guilt or indebtedness for the ben-efit. For some there was the recognition that they have a responsibility to give back in response to the gift and a desire to act on that responsibility.

A sense of being blessed and of savoring every little moment. (Sue)

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to be worthy of their faith in me. (Louise)

I just remember feeling so overwhelmed with feeling blessed and feeling just joyful, feeling just fortunate. (Betty)

I get really excited, and I literally feel giddy. Then I feel lucky, and then I feel humbled. Then I feel like I should share it. (Melanie)

Joy

As a positive emotion, gratitude was described by participants in terms of happiness and euphoria. Joy was a frequent word used to describe the pleas-ant sensations of the emotion-experience of gratitude.

A wonderful state of euphoria; pleasurable sensations, both mental and physical; happiness of memories. (Doris)

I was smiling, on top of my feeling a sense of joy in my face, and then a welling up in my eyes. (Betty)




Hlava and Elfers 15

I feel lighter and definitely happier. Gratitude is like sunshine. (Sarita)

Then I was just really happy. I thought I was like Disneyland happy. (Link)

Love

Descriptions of gratitude were frequently expressed as the experience of love, which itself embodies a complex range of feelings and contexts. Like gratitude, love is a highly relational emotion and is associated with a broad affective range. Participant sentiments of love involved a variety of attribu-tions, including loving oneself, loving another, being loved, or feeling grate-ful for being loved. Some of those expressing the sentiment of love also felt understood, accepted, protected, and supported.

Overwhelming love, I would say. In love with them, and feeling loved by them. (Betty)

I feel love. (pause) It’s kind of funny; because I think love and gratitude are almost like twins. You don’t have to love someone you’re grateful to, but it certainly seems to enhance gratitude and a lot of times if I’m grateful, really, I’m feeling loved. (Nancy)

How grateful I was to have been involved and been a part of such a wonderful and loving family. I really was overcome with just a feeling of gratefulness and almost to the point where it brought me to tears. (Lou)

Witnessed

Several participants (n = 6) identified being seen or witnessed by another as a significant feature of gratitude. Being recognized and understood was part of the complex experience of feeling grateful. Feelings of being seen and acknowledged came from the other person (I feel validated, appreciated) in contrast to feelings directed toward another (I appreciate you) (Carter, 2006).

You feel validated, like you are worth something. (Darby)

I sat there, looking at the computer, and just about cried because she had maybe seen that I was lonely, or she had somehow reached out to me across that divide and kind of tried to welcome me in and say, “I want to get to know you. You’re valuable enough to me.” (Louise)

The expression of gratitude to me creates a sense of belonging. It helps you sense—a sense of validation that you count. (Scott)





Presence

The shifting frame of reference that characterized gratitude was often felt as an appreciation or coming into the present moment. Being centered, mindful, or aware, were other ways that participants used to describe the experience of coming into the present.

It is just being with it, just being in the present moment of “that’s actually happening.” (Jennifer)

I am aware that my attention is narrowed and that I am oblivious to all else except the gift. (Albert)

But do we stop and pay attention? Do we—kind of in the hustle and bustle of every day, (laughter) do we stop and pay attention to those things? (Mimi)

Thankful

Thankfulness and appreciation were often used as synonyms for the expres-sion of gratitude. These sentiments were sometimes expressed in concert with other feelings and emotions. Generally, appreciation was attributed to an unexpected gift or blessing.

For me, gratitude would be thankfulness for a gesture, thought, action that goes above and beyond what’s expected; then that acknowledging someone else’s needs or what they could use at the time, and really offering that extra assistance. (Gwen)

I’ve been grateful for a lot of things, starting as a child of the depression where you could be grateful for the littlest thing. Then to see that I have so much—I didn’t expect it. (Doris)

Conclusions and Implications

Lambert et al. (2009) concluded that the construct of gratitude used by researchers was narrower than the understanding of gratitude described by research participants. This study supports that conclusion and identifies addi-tional features of the lived experience of gratitude that need to be incorpo-rated into a comprehensive construct of gratitude experience. These features include the following:

1. An expanded definition that accounts for the impact of gratitude on relational boundaries between self and other that go beyond reciproc-ity and benefit-triggered models




Hlava and Elfers 17

2. The intentionality of gratitude focused on a transpersonal Other3. The wide range of emotion labels assigned to the lived experience of

gratitude4. The occurrence of grateful responses that range from mild to over-

whelming emotion-experience, particularly in the transpersonal domain.

For participants in this study, gratitude was an easily recognizable emotion-experience. All participants situated their personal profile of gratitude within the context of self-other relationships. Gratitude has a less consistent phe-nomenal profile than do categorical emotions such as anger and fear, and yet consistent and recognizable patterns emerged. Somatic sensations showed indications of either release of energy and stress or increased motivation and energy. Feelings of warmth and release associated with gratitude were accom-panied by energy, a phenomenon frequently described by these participants as an awakening or excitement.

Gratitude had its most profound impact at the liminal separation between the self—with a bounded sense of identity—and some Other. This function of gratitude in relationships is consistent with the centrality of the I–Thou rela-tionship highlighted by Buber (1958/2000). For Buber, this relationship is a perceivable event with transformative potential that can extend to a relation-ship with God, or what would be considered here as the transpersonal domain. In this study, gratitude was found to be an occasion or trigger for transper-sonal experiences. Relationships, both interpersonal and otherwise, are cen-tral to constructivist theories and approaches, representing a shift in focus away from individual experience to relational experience (Gergen & Gergen, 2004). For participants in this study, gratitude demonstrated the potential to enhance the quality of relationships in dynamic ways.

Appraisals of the self-other relationship were strongly correlated with action tendencies centered on relationship building. Cognitive appraisals fre-quently resulted in a revised assessment of the significance of the relation-ship, assessments which created additional emotion-experience. For many participants, feeling grateful toward another became feelings with another, representing a shift from subjective to intersubjective experience. When affect was particularly deep and overwhelming, the phenomenal experience of boundaries for some participants was temporarily mitigated, thus resulting in the experience of oneness and identity. Awareness of personal identity was not itself eliminated; rather, the sense of identity seemed to expand to include the Other.

A visual representation of the emotion-experience of gratitude can be thought of as occurring along a continuum (see Figure 1). The figure uses





Venn-like diagrams used in the Inclusion of Other in the Self (IOS) Scale developed by Aron, Aron, and Smollan (1992) as a visual representation of self-other connection. On one extreme are the polite sentiments of thankful-ness and appreciation in which clear separations between self and other were maintained. At that end of the spectrum, self and other relational boundaries remained distinct, and the receipt of a benefit resulted in a slight alteration of those boundaries. At the other extreme are temporary states of connection and oneness in which self-other are no longer rigid distinctions. There was a strong correlation between appraised meaning of a relationship, intensity of affect, and dissolution of self-other boundaries. As the appraised meaning of the benefit took on more personal significance, the affective response intensi-fied, and the boundaries between self and other became less rigid and more permeable. Phenomenal experiences and appraisals of gratitude were easily mapped along this continuum, with participants giving multiple examples of those at various stages across the span. Participant experience of strong con-nection was entirely from the perspective of the person receiving the benefit. In this study, no attempt was made to correlate the emotion-experience from the perspective of the Other.

Alterations in self–other boundaries opened the door to a variety of the positively valenced emotions that have been described above. Data from par-ticipants supported Fredrickson’s (2004) “broaden-and-build” (p. 147) theory of positive emotions, with appraisals of gratitude experience demonstrating creative and expansive responses to benefits. Action tendencies of gratitude consistently showed patterns of enhancements in self-other relationships.

Figure 1. The emotion-experience of gratitude.*Other is representative of personal, interpersonal, and transpersonal domains.




Hlava and Elfers 19

Defining gratitude as a compound emotion at the interface of emotions with attributions and emotions of well-being (Ortony et al., 1988) provides a theo-retical frame for a transactional model of gratitude. Data from participant interviews showed that, in the presence of milder levels of affect, attributions were centered on the tangible benefits received in the relationship transac-tion, such as receiving praise, a gift, or an unexpected opportunity, but that, in the presence of high affect and relationship significance, attributions of emotion-experience seemed to shift from tangible benefits to the relationship itself. Feelings of connection created their own reward, eclipsing the gift or benefit that had precipitated the original subjective perception of gratitude. These shifts in attribution from gift to connectedness were sometimes associ-ated with instances of overwhelming emotion, particularly in the transper-sonal domain. Participant descriptions highlight the central importance of self-other relationship to the experience of gratitude at all levels.

The number of participants describing states of intense affect was a sur-prising finding of this study. Their descriptions reveal a depth and range of emotion-experience not accounted for in functional interpretations of grati-tude. Measures of thankfulness and appreciation, or, correlations of gratitude with subjective well-being, do not account for the overwhelming response to emotion-experience that brings someone to tears at the very memory. A very promising area of research is the deliberate application of profound emotion-experiences of gratitude to personal and interpersonal transformation.

Feelings of gratitude occurred naturally and spontaneously in three domains: the personal, interpersonal, and transpersonal. An unexpected find-ing of this study was the frequency and depth to which participants experi-enced gratitude in a transpersonal relationship. For several participants, connection to a nonpersonal Other was associated with the most profound states of immersion—states in which self and other temporarily merged and accompanied by feelings of awe. This finding suggests a need for further research and exploration on the influence of positive emotion to transper-sonal relationships.

A comprehensive construct of gratitude should incorporate the three domains, account for a broad range of affect, and include states of immersion. The authors are conducting a follow-up study to this qualitative investigation, taking a grounded theory approach to a wider range of gratitude experience, looking at identifiable triggers for gratitude experience, assessing the nature of cognitive appraisals, and identifying specific action tendencies resulting from gratitude, particularly those related to the social and moral implications of gratitude and reciprocal behaviors. This deeper investigation is in support of our contention that the construct of gratitude is still under construction.





Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publi-cation of this article.

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Author Biographies

Patty Hlava, PhD, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Minnesota. Her research has focused on the transpersonal nature of gratitude and its dynamic role in interper-sonal relationships. She is the author of Exploring the Lived Experience of Gratitude, Living Gratitude, and Cultivating Gratitude. She is adjunct faculty for Sofia University and the University of St. Thomas. Additionally, she serves on the board of the Midwest Meditation and Psychotherapy Institute. She has been a featured lecturer on gratitude at universities and conferences.

John Elfers, PhD, is a licensed Marriage Family Therapist and a credentialed teacher and school administrator in California. For the past 20 years, he has created programs and conducted profes-sional development in the areas of mental health, adolescent repro-ductive health, drug intervention, and community building. He co-developed the Positively Speaking program for the California Department of Education, training people living with HIV/AIDS

as presenters in the classroom. He is currently the director of a school-based adoles-cent drug treatment program called the Sober School. He is adjunct faculty for Sofia University and Brandman University.




Documents

The Lived Experience of Gratitude