The Sis, These S

Dina Danish

The Sis, These SDina Danish

California College of the Arts

San Francisco2008

The Sis These Sby Dina Danish

A Project Presented to

The Graduate FacultyCalifornia College of the Arts

In Partial Fulfillmentof the Requirements for the Degree

Master of Fine Arts

Approved:

Steven Leiber

Ranu Mukherje

Maria Porges

Fred Dolan

1 May 2008

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, in any formwithout written permission from the author.

To my mother, my father and my sister

Special thanks to Steven Leiber, Ranu Mukherjee, Maria Porges and Fred Dolan

Who’s Content

S e c t i o n 1 : L a n g u a g e a n d M u s i c

A Formal Essay on Foreign LanguagesIs in Fact a Foreigners’ Language

And I Do Know How to Europeanize my NationalismThrough The Sound of a Letter of RejectionThat Has Not Been Written by Sam Beckett.

Who’s Sorry Now,When Playing The Piano on my Keyboard

Who’s Sorry Now, When I Say Part IWho’s Sorry Now, When I say Part II

ifWe Blink Twice as Much as Men

Then There’s a Hypothesis.

S e c t i o n 2 : A c t 1 , P l a n 2

I Plan, I Don’t ActI Act, Then I Plan

I Plan StoriesI Act Out Stories

I Get on an AirplaneI Get off an Airplane

S e c t i o n 3 : ( O N )

I Like Unfinished ArtI Don’t Like Obsessive Arts

I Like, I Don’t LikeBeing as Wise as Nietzsche

Problem Solved

8

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S e c t i o n 1 : L a n g u a g e a n d M u s i c

A Formal Essay on Foreign LanguagesIs in Fact a Foreigners’ Language

And I Do Know How to Europeanize my NationalismThrough The Sound of a Letter of RejectionThat Has Not Been Written by Sam Beckett.

Who’s Sorry Now,When Playing The Piano on my Keyboard

Who’s Sorry Now, When I Say Part IWho’s Sorry Now, When I say Part II

ifWe Blink Twice as Much as Men

Then There’s a Hypothesis.

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A F o r m a l E s s a y o n F o r e i g n L a n g u a g e s( O n L e a r n i n g F o r e i g n L a n g u a g e s )

I n t r o d u c t i o n :

I hear sounds, sounds that sound like other sounds. I hear sounds that have been explained to me. I hear and I see and I touch. I relate sounds to other sounds. I am told that these sounds mean the same things as things I see; I am confused when similar sounds don’t mean the same thing. But I learn, and I accept the difference of similarities.I start saying the sounds. Once I say them, I understand them. I pronounce and I work on my pronunciation (notice that I know that pronunciation is sometimes mispronounced as

“pronounciation”. It is wrong.)I read and I write. They dictate to me, but they are not dictators. They say they are teachers. Expatriates. Teachers of foreign languages. But the foreign language I am learning is a language that they consider to be my mother tongue. Muttersprache, Deutsch als Muttersprache is my language. My mother only speaks half German. I wonder why they can’t call it “Deutsch als Halbmuttersprache”, German as half-mother-tongue.Structure. They teach me all about it. I break those words I’ve learned; I put them in different parts of my sentences. They tell me a word can be three different words, and I try to understand that and break those words and make them into something else. I can change time, if I break words. Or at least this is what I am told. However, if, anyway, instead, on the other hand, on the one hand, afterwards, today and all of these nice words have to have a comma before or after they are uttered. I say them out loud, but they say that I am only supposed to be silent when I speak. You read in a different way. You don’t read and speak in the same way. NEVER.

H y p o t h e s i s :

Should I read from right to left or from left to right?

B o d y :What is the body of a foreign language?

L e s s o n n u m b e r O N ESound.

Before the expatriates teach me the alphabet, I hear them speak. I go back home and I imi-tate them. I get the idea of the language, but it’s merely based on sound.Gathering all my objects in my room, I pretend I am an expatriate to the objects. I grab my Arabic words; I make up some other words and I “efrangize” (westernize) them.

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Arabic sound I know (beginning of every Arabic, post-Islamic fairytale)Kan ya makanYa sada ya kiramMa yehla el kalamIlla bethikr el nabiAleih el salat wel salamGerman sound derived from Arabic and made up sounds:Natala, kayna Katala, nanu, nanu naunoo.Kantalyen, kantalyen die klanen fatakenMatken, zaraben, nitaschen, kuhInglu inglu ingluIgru igru igruKanjan ja makanen, sie saden, sie kramenMei jehle kalamen Nur sink die Nabi und die KeramenEnglish sound:Cans in da makaanzZe seda ze cramsMo yellwa mo clamzElwa beithe kay nabiYo pans so lams

L e s s o n n u m b e r T W O

Writing.

I learn the alphabet, that European Alphabet, and here they go again dictating to me. I can write, I can write! I don’t necessarily understand, but I write and I am proud. I am so proud.

Writing German:

Kan ja –Komma- Makan –Komma- Ja -Komma- Sada –Komma- ja –Komma- KiramMa yihla El Kalam –Komma-Illa be sikr El Nabi –Komma-Aleh El Salat wel Salam –Punkt.

Writing English is harder; they talk about silent letters a lot:

Can ya macane –comma-Ya sada –comma- ya keramMa yehla el kalam –comma-Illa b’zikr el nabbyAleih essalat we salam –full-stop (recently I’ve heard that it’s not referred to as “full-stop”, but “period”, instead. I am still not saying period, and I don’t quite believe that there is anything wrong with saying full stop. It makes sense and that’s what the German expatri-ates taught me anyway. Maybe a “full-stop” is the British version, and period is American. Everyone knows that the Germans follow the British more than the Americans do.

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L e s s o n n u m b e r T H R E EDefinitions.

You start relating those foreign words to your own language. You misunderstand when there are two words that resemble one another in sound, but come from different languages. You translate, you misunderstand; you understand. You relate.Maus= mouse= farFar does not equal farFar= weit wegFa= a note before solSol does not equal soleilSoleil= Sonne= sunSun does not equal sonSon=Son= fils= IbnIBM does not equal Ibn

L e s s o n n u m b e r F O U RLiteral translations.

Now that I have defined enough words, I believe in my ability to speak. I use literal transla-tions to say a sentence. Most of the time the expatriates understand what I want to say, but they also sometimes misunderstand me. They correct me. Never use literal translations, I’ve been told. Remember. It’s German als Muttersprache.

Arabic to German.

Kan Ya Makan.War du PlatzYa sada ya KiramDu Folk, Du GuteMa yehla El KalamEs ist nicht sues ohne WoerterIlla be Sikr El NabiOhne ProphetAleh el salat wel salamUeber ihn sind Gebete und Frieden

Arabic to English.

Can ya makanOnce you placeYa sada ya keramYou people, you honorableMa yehla el kalamWords are not as sweetIlla be thikr el nabbyWithout the mention of the prophet

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Aleih el salat wel salamOn him are prayers and peace

L e s s o n n u m b e r F I V ESentence structure, punctuation and grammar.

In order to avoid misunderstanding I learn rules. In order for me to be understood by others comma, I must (have to, shall, should, would have to, will have to, might have to) learn rules. Rules consist of (on, before, after, about, in, out, up, down, with, without, in, at) sentence structure, tenses, punctuation and grammar. I should expect myself to make many mistakes, yet I should always be aware of them.

German

Die JackeDas HemdDativ: Mit, von, nach, aus zu Akkusativ: nicht DativAusgehen: Ich gehe aus, Ich bin augegangen, Ich werde ausgehen.Komma dassKomma damitKomma deswegenUndsoweiter und sofort.Ich habe eine Katze komma und ein(en) Hund Punkt.

English

The man: heThe woman: sheTo go out: I will go out, I am going out, I have gone out, I had had gone out.However commaOn the one hand commaComma ifSometimes comma whichNever comma thatIt’s is different from itsEat ate eatenSleep slept sleptGo went goneShower showered showeredSpeak spoke spoken

L e s s o n n u m b e r S I XAcademic writing.

Never say the word (letter) “I” in a paper. It’s narcissistic and not academic. Use words like “one”, “we”, “they”. Yet, one should never generalize and say for example: “all of them”, “always”, “everywhere”. Words such as sometimes, some of them, “one can assume” are much less radical, and therefore, more objective than the aforementioned ones.

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Do not write long sentences, yet attempt to present them as sophisticatedly as possible. Do not write “do not” at the beginning of this sentence; you have already used it in the last one.

When writing a paper start through brainstorming. Come up with a question that you might want to argue. Write an outline. Write a paper. It is far more complex than this, but you will learn.Each paragraph should have a “mini introduction” and a “mini conclusion” to it. Use words such as “therefore, on the one hand, however, in addition, overall” to connect one sentence to the other in your paragraph. Try to connect your thoughts from one paragraph to another.

Frame the structure of your essay. One can achieve this through starting with an introduc-tion, a thesis, a body (consisting of pros and cons) and ending with a conclusion. A conclu-sion is usually linked to the thesis and the introduction, and serves as a solution, as well as a summary to the body. However, one should not expect to have a definite answer as a conclusion.

Please, use this essay as an example of how one should form an essay. However, some of the paragraphs are not perfectly linked to one another; and the conclusion is relatively weak. Also, some of the paragraphs, especially in the introduction might appear sentimen-tal. Avoid this type of writing. Please, refer to other texts as better examples.

A R e v e r s e d I n t r o d u c t i o n i s a c o n c l u s i o n ( A r a b i c i n f l u e n c e i n w r i t i n g s t y l e ) .

Hypothesis: Should I read from right to left or from left to right?

NEVER! You don’t read and speak in the same way. Or at least this is what I am told. You read in a different way. I say them out loud, but they say that I am only supposed to be silent when I speak. However, if, anyway, instead, on the other hand, on the one hand, afterwards, today and all of these nice words have to have a comma before or after they are uttered. I can change time, if I break words.

My mother only speaks half German. I wonder why they can’t call it “Deutsch als Halb-muttersprache”, German as half-mother-tongue. Muttersprache, Deutsch als Muttersprache is my language. But the foreign language I am learning is a language that they consider to be my mother tongue. Teachers of foreign languages. Expatriates. They say they are teach-ers. They dictate me, but they are not dictators. I read and I write.

They tell me a word can be three different words, and I try to understand that and break those words and make them into something else. They teach me all about it. I break those words I’ve learned; I put them in different parts of my sentences. Structure.

I pronounce and I work on my pronunciation (notice that I know that pronunciation is sometimes mispronounced as “pronounciation”. It is wrong.) Once I say them, I understand them. But I learn, and I accept the difference of similarities. I am told that these sounds mean the same things as things I see; I am confused when similar sounds don’t mean the same thing. I relate sounds to other sounds. I hear and I see and I touch. I hear sounds that have been explained to me. I start saying the sounds.

I hear sounds, sounds that sound like other sounds.

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I s i n F a c t a F o r e i g n e r s ’ L a n g u a g e

T h e L a n g u a g e o f F o r e i g n e r sI speak it, but I still have a long way to go until I can fully master the Language of Foreign-ers. Foreigners is a difficult one, and its grammatical structure is far too complex compared to any other languages I have been exposed to. I’ve been told that learning Spanish would have probably been easier, but I am ambitious, and I am a foreigner who has chosen to be a Nationalist.No manches is one of the words I am allowed to utter. Through giving it different sounds to express one’s feelings, people of different languages might understand what you would like to express. No Manches, however, is sometimes confused with Spanish, but one should not be fooled by its sound. Only the word “no” is Spanish, yet it still has a universal sound to it. Other than that, mostly hands and facial expressions are used resulting to many meaningful conversations. Sometimes sounds like hahaha, hmm or ha are also acceptable in Foreigners.Foreigners uses vocabulary that might sound confusing to others of different languages- especially Spanish speakers- such as ahhhh muchos gracias.. come te quiama? Bueno? Buena? Aaahhh come va? Oh wait, I mean ola? Adding a question mark to any words is more preferable than giving them a firm sound. It’s customary, when Foreigners is spoken to get people stare at you in confusion or to utter sounds that are dissimilar to your native tongue. Once certain words that sound similar are spoken by a person, who does not speak Foreigners, one should react with confidence, as if understanding what is being said. Com-monly used words of certainty in this case are “Bueno” or “si si si” exclamation mark.

F o r e i g n e r s w i t h M e x i c a n N a t i o n a l i s mDepending on your motherland, you could fall into the trap of becoming a Nationalist when visiting Mexico. If you come from a place that is seen by most people from de-veloped countries as a Third World country, then you are more likely to experience this towards Mexico. In this case, you might feel strongly for the traditions and customs of this country, in addition to a mild sensation of wanting to strangle other foreigners who criticize any of these things.

A P a g e f r o m a F o r e i g n e r s N a t i v e S p e a k e r ’s D i a r yIn a city that is not my own, in a country that I had only moved to nine months ago, I pack my bags to go to Mexico.After spending a few days in Mexico City, I take the bus to Oaxaca with a mind full of im-ages and ideas that someone; something or I had imposed upon myself. Incapable of eras-ing them, while pretending to be reading legends and myths about Oaxaca, I think silently how sinful it would be if I were to pretend to be Mexican. My American friend had told me when I was in Egypt that Mexicans own their streets, just like they do in Cairo. I wondered what he meant by this statement. Am I going back home?Chosing to stay at a hotel instead of a house, and being fully aware that I am a tourist after all -even if my stay is meant for a different purpose- I become even more perplexed by the appearance of the hotel room. It has a kitchen, a bedroom and a living room, just like any home would do. So, I decide that I might as well give in to my sinful thoughts and try to be as Mexican as anyone could possibly be.Here are some tricks I have taught myself to develop my Nationalistic sensations towards this country (the main trick is to try to feel at home as much as possible):

If this is home, then I can choose to stay at home. Instead of walking on the streets of Oaxaca I can sit in my living room still pretending to be reading the legends and myths of Oaxaca.If this is home, then I must know the city quite well, and there couldn’t be anything out there waiting to fascinate me. Even these embroidered shirts, the music on the streets and the graffiti on the walls that have been painted over by mismatched colors of the wall don’t stop me. What stops me is when I see tourists taking pictures of them. That, I still don’t understand.If I am at home, then I speak Spanish fluently even if most of the words I use are based on sign language and made up words. It doesn’t matter. My people understand ME. And just like tour guides say that they take the people of clouds and skies to the ocean and change their dreams forever, I too am capable of doing this.I live in an apartment and I even have roommates. We go buy vegetables together and if we want to, we can invite some friends over for dinner.

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S l o w l y G e r m a n i z i n g t h e s o n g

Masr mmMasr mmMasr mmMasr mmMasr heyya ommiNeilha howwa dammiShamsaha f smariShaklaha f malamhiHatta loni amhi lon kheirek ya mar

Misr mmMisr mmMisr mmMisr mmMisr hejja OmmiNilha howwa DammiSchamsaha fe SamariSchaklaha fe MalamhiHatta Loni amhiLon Kherek ya Misr

Misr mmMisr mmMisr mmMisr mmMisr ist meine OmmiDein Niel ist mein DammiDeine Schams ist in meinem SamariDein Schakl ist in meninen MalamehAuch mein Lon ist amhi,Wie deiner Kheir du Misr

AgyptenAgyptenAgypten AgyptenAgypten is meine MutterIhr Nil ist mein BlutIhre Sonne ist meine FarbeSie sieht wie mich ausMeine Maiz FarbeIst die Farbe deines Gutes

A n d I d o k n o w H o w t o E u r o p e a n i z e m y N a t i o n a l i s m

This is based on an Egyptian National song that I attempt to Europeanize

S l o w l y A n g l i c i z i n g t h e s o n g

Masr mmMasr mmMasr mmMasr mmMasr heyya ommiNeilha howwa dammiShamsaha f smariShaklaha f malamhiHatta loni amhi lon kheirek ya mar

MasrMasr Masr masrMasr is my ommiHer Neel is my dammiHer Shams is in my samarHer Shakl is in my malamehEven my loni is amhiLoan you kheir you masr

Egypt is my motherHer Nile is my BloodHer sun is my TanHer Looks are my featuresEven my wheat colorAs the color of your goodness

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T h r o u g h T h e S o u n d o f a L e t t e r o f R e j e c t i o nT h e E n s e m b l e o f M e d i o c r e S u r p r i s e

March 30, 2007SoandSo AndsoandSo531 Pedestrian Case streetMansville, Shamigrah 9411635soandsoandsoandso@msu.edu

Dear SoandSo AndsoandSo,

We have been hearing about you and we believe that no one else has heard from you except for the holy intern from Half Moon Bay.

We appreciate your participation in our overflow and flux in the interchangeable experi-ences, yet on the other hand, none of the aforementioned exclusions have been representing themselves in an exact manner. Hence, and so forth, our examinations of golden awards have shown much appreciation and extrufication in the image collectives of your appear-ance. I, in the name of the followers, have been pleasantly surprised in the understanding of our challenging gramafications.

We, and no one else, have shown any interest in your application, yet we understand that your talents have been reasoned by a number of mediocre and grandiose supplements. Those on the one hand have been greatly gramplified in the notion of worldly and wordy ideas, yet on the other hand, they have been grammatically and fully evolved on the oce-anic nature of your work.

We understand that you might be missing some links from the shared identities you have represented yet we believe that much effort has been shown in the mystification of the modified world.

Finally, we have contested your rights in the following approaches. We would like to con-gratulate you for your appearance on the North Polar anonymous group of the World Trade Market, yet we sincerely apologize for our apologetic necessities and our revolutionary multitudes. We no longer worry about the misrepresentations of your angletudes,

Best of luck!

Sincerely,Joe son of KingProject Manager

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That Has Not been Written by Sam Beckett

Score: This is an attempt to remember a sentence I had heard in a documentary on Samuel Beckett, which presumably mentioned that Samuel Beckett himself was uttering it. I later wrote the sentence on a piece of paper, and put it somewhere on my desk, or in my desk’s drawer. The sentence was never properly heard, but the closest to it was written down. The attempts will be written, while trying to find the piece of paper within my desk’s parameter.

First attemptIf only I had known what I did not know,and if only I knew what I had not known,perhaps then the breathing is over.

S e c o n d a t t e m p tIf only I did not know what I had known,and if only I had known what I knew before,perhaps then the breathing is over.

T h i r d a t t e m p tIf only I knew what I did not know when the breathing beganwhat I did not know back then,perhaps then the breathing is over.

E n d l e s s a t t e m p tI know what I knew that I did not know for knowing what I knew when breathing did not know what I knew back then and knowing what I knew had known what I know and did not know back then. I know what I knew and did not know, had I not known what I knew, would I have not known what I had known, I would have not known back then,and perhaps then the breathing is over.

I f o u n d a p i e c e o f p a p e r w h e r e I h a d w r i t t e n t h e c l o s e s t t o w h a t h e m i g h t h a v e w r i t t e n . I t g o e s a s f o l l o w i n g :If only I had known before the breathing began what I know now,and if only I knew (had known) what I knew then,perhaps then the breathing is over.

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W h o ’s S o r r y N o wP r a c t i c i n g w r i t i n g a s o n g a s f a s t a s i t g o e s

1. lied to the end just like a friend, I tried to warn you somehow, you had your way now you must pay I ;m glad that your sorry now2. aaaa3. lied ti;ll the end just like a fiedn I tried to ward you somehowwwww4. hhhhhh5. you had your way6. now you must apt7. I’m glad that’ you’te sorry noooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

1. aaaaa2. who’s soorrry now3. who’s sorry now4. wjo’s heart is aching for breaking each vowl5. who’s sad and blaue6. who’s crying too just like I cried over you7. lied to the end8. just like a friend9. ddd10. I tried to war you somehow11. Jjjj12. You had your way13. Kkkkk14. Now you must payyy15. I’m glad that you’re sorry now16. Nnhhhhaaaaa17. Lied to end18. Just lllike a friend19. Iiii tried to warn you soooooomee how20. Youuuuu had your way21. Nnnowwwww you must pay22. I’m glad that you’re sorry nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwij

1. who’s sorry now2. who’s sorry now3. who’s art is aching for breaking each vowl4. who’s sad and blau=e5. who’s crying too6. just like I cried ovvver youuuu7. aaaaaa8. lied to the end9. just like a frienddddd10. I tried to warn you somehowwwwwww11. You had your way12. Now you must pay

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13. I’m glad that you’re sorry nowowowowowowow14. Aaaaaaaaa15. Lied toll the end16. Jjjusssst like a friend17. I tyried to warn you sooommmmehowwwwwww18. Youuu had your way19. Now you must pay20. I’m glad that you’reeee sooorrrry nooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwow..

1. who’s sorry now2. who’s ssssorry now3. who’s art is aching for breaking each vowl4. who’s sad and blue5. who’s crying tooo6. just like I cried over yyyouuuuuuuuuuuuuu

1 lied to the endjust like a friend2. I tried to warn you sooommmmehow1. you had your waynow you must pay

1. I’m flad you’re sorry nowwww2. Aaaaaa3. Lied till the end

1. just like a friend2. I tried to warn you sommmehow3. Hhhhh4. Youuuuuuuuu had your wayyyyyy5. Now you must paaaayyyyyy6. I’m glad that you’re sorry nnnnnnoooooowwwwwwwwwwww..

1. who’s sorry nowwwwwww2. who’s ssory nowwwwww3. who’s heart is aching for breaking each bpwl4. who sad and bleeeeee5. who’s crying toooooooooo6. just like I cried oooover youuuuuuuu!!!!!!7. Aaaaa8. Jued to the endddddd9. Just like a friend10. I tried to warn to warn you somehoooooowwwww

1. you had your way... now you must pay...2. I ‘m glad that you’re sorry nowwww3. Aaaaaa4. Llied till the end

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5. Just like a friednnnnnnnn6. I triedddds tyo warn you sommmmmeeehooooowwwwwwwwww7. You hadddddd your wayyyyyyy8. Now you must paayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy9. I’m glad that you’re sorrrry nnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww..

1. nnnn2. who’s sorry nowwwwwwwww3. who’s sorry nowwwwwwww4. who’s heart is aching for breaking each vowllllll5. who’s sad and blueeeee6. who’s crying toooooo7. just like I cried ooooover youuuuuuuu8. hhh9. lied till the endddd10. just like a ffreidnddddd11. I tried toooo warn you somehowwwwwww12. Youuuuuuu had your wayyyyyyy13. Now you must paaaaaayyyyyyy14. I’m glad that you’re sorry nowwwwww15. Aaaaaaa16. Lied till the ned 17. Kust like a frienddddd18. Ti tried to warn you sommmmmeehowwwwww19. Youuuuuu had your wayyyyy20. Now you must paaayyyyyyyyy21. I’m glad that you’reee sorry noooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww..1. who’s sorry now2. who’s sorry nowwww3. who’s heart is aching for breaking each vowlllll4. who’s dsad and bleeeuue5. who’s crying toooo6. just like I cried over youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu7. aaa8. lied to the endddd9. just like a frieddddnnn10. I tried to warn you somehoooowwwwww11. Youuuuu had your way 12. Now you must paaaaaaayyyyy13. I’m glad that you’re sorry nowwww14. Aaaa15. Lied till the endddddd16. Justs like a friendddddd17. I tried to warn you someeeeehooowwwwwwwwwwww18. Youuuuuuuyuuu had your wayyyyyyy19. Nowwww you must paaayyyyyyyyy20. I’m fglad that you’re sorry nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww..21. Someeehowwwwwwww22. You hadddd your wayyyyy23. Now you uist payyyy24. I’m glad that you’reee sorrrryyy nowwwwwwwwwwwww...........

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W h e n P l a y i n g t h e P i a n o o n M y K e y b o a r d

T h i s i s a n a t t e m p t t o r e l a t e t h e l e a r n i n g o f a l a n g u a g e t o t h e l e a r n -i n g o f m u s i c . I h a v e t a k e n s e v e n y e a r s o f F r e n c h a n d s e v e n y e a r s o f p i a n o l e s s o n s . B o t h “ l a n g u a g e s ” s e e m t o b e s t o r e d s o m e w h e r e i n m y h e a d , b u t a r e n o t c o m i n g o u t p r o p e r l y. T h i s i s w h y I w i l l a t t e m p t t o u s e m y c o m p u t e r k e y b o a r d a s a p i a n o k e y b o a r d .

W h o ’s S o r r y N o w, W h e n I S a y P a r t I

uhwe IJ OWJFIOIJP OJ LOJ LIJILKKLL JLL LAjwojd ‘pp pkqP ;WKD P;K’PK’PS pko daKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK OLWPQKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK-KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

W h o ’s S o r r y N o w, W h e n I S a y P a r t I I

b jkl; ad lal aal;djjjal jkjl’/’b cBQAJSODP VWBPA KWA “ ow wwwk} L’ ]WAO QA WPIK DIKW Q[P-[‘ dk’[kd\ ‘kdpwkd kOWK QP K[q dka[kda[‘’ l;[‘kptantaratanta tantaratantaaaaaaaaa

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I f

first time:

If

5+6=7and7+8=9

if writing numbers as letters, maybe one day this equation would be right.

second time:

if

five plus six equals sevenandseven plus eight equals nine

if writing the numbers incorrectly maybe this equation would be right.

third time:

if

vife plus xis equals nesvenandnesven plus gheit equals eneni

then this equation is more than right.

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We B l i n k Tw i c e a s M u c h a s M e n

I heard that women blink twice as much as men.

Challenge: attempt to type the sentence “We blink twice as much as men do, I don’t believe it’s true” as many times as possible without blinking. If I blink I must document the number of it.

Tr i a l

We blink twice as much as men do, I don’t believe it’s true

We blink twice as much as men do, I don’t believe it’s true

We blink twice as much as men do, I don’t believe it’s true, first blink

We blink twice as much as men do, I don’t believe it’s true

We blink twice as much (second blink,

third blink,

fourth blink,

fifth blink,

sixth blink,

seventh blink,

8,

9,

10,

11,

12,

13,

14,

15)

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T h e n T h e r e ’s a H y p o t h e s i s

If

Exact repetition= controlAndChance =/ control

And if

Exact repetition + chance = changeAndExact repetition - chance =/ change

Then:

Chance = change (notice that it is no coincidence that change and chance have almost the same letters, g and c rhyme, too.)

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29

S e c t i o n 2 : A c t 1 , P l a n 2

I Plan, I Don’t ActI Act, Then I Plan

I Plan StoriesI Act Out Stories

I Get on an AirplaneI Get off an Airplane

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31

I P l a n , I D o n ’ t A c t

Monday, September 24, 2007Goal: To write a plan for the whole day in real time and wait for the action to take place, without taking action. If I plan on taking a bus for example, I write it and wait for the ac-tion to take place in real time without actually getting on the bus. I sit in my room instead and wait. For the day, I am not allowed to take any actions, but only write them down and wait for them to occur in my imagination.Using the restroom and eating will not be included in the description as these will be actu-alized actions for practical purposes.

When: From 12:49pm- 9:49pm. Where: at home: 531 Page street, San Francisco

12:49pm Wake up. Check email: Gmail account (5min), then CCA account; CCA account (11min) 16min. Wait.

1:05pm Open bedroom door (2sec); step into kitchen, open cupboard (10sec), get cookies, eat cookies (3min), fill kettle with water (1 min), Get coffee beans from cupboard, grind coffee beans (3min), put beans into French press (2min), wait for water to boil (2min), pour water into French press (1min), close French press, pour coffee into cup (3min), take cup, walk into my bedroom (5sec), open back door, sit and drink coffee, while singing Vola Vola (15min) 30 min and 17 secondsWait

1:35:17pm Get back into room, put cup down on table next to back door, sit on my bed (4 min), get up, take my clothes off, enter bathroom, turn water on in bathtub (3min), get into bathtub, take shower: under water (3min), shampoo (2min), conditioner (2min), washing body (4min) more time under shower (3min), get out of shower, put on bathrobe (1min), dry myself and moisturize (4min), brush teeth (3min), wash face (1min), tone face (1min30sec), moisturize face (2min), put antibiotic on face (2min), dry hair (2min).37min30secWait.

2:12:47pm Put underwear on (1min), put jeans on and shirt, deodorant, pullover, socks, shoes and make decisions (20min).21minWait.

2:33:47pm Check email, open gmail account (3min), open cca account (2min) and reply to some emails (4min) while going to the kitchen, heating water, grinding coffee, (5min) going back

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to my room and replying to emails, (2min) pouring hot water into French Press with my ground coffee, closing French press, (30sec) going back to my room and get the old cup of coffee, cleaning old cup (1min), pouring coffee into it, going back to my room with my cup and replying to more messages (5min)22min 30secWait.

2:56:17pm Sit in bed and read Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking’s last chapter p. 220-227 (17min), get up, close laptop, put it in black bag, (1min) pack wallet, keys, hard-drive, cords, close bag (2min), carry bag on my shoulder, pick up my tripod, and video camera off the floor, open my bedroom door, walk to front door, open door (2min), go down the stairs (nearly 7 steps), take a left, cross street, take a left (2min), wait by the bus stop (0-10min).24-34minWait

3:20-30:17pm Get on the bus (1min), wait till I get to 17th and Rhode Island (20min), get off bus (30sec), walk towards Whole Foods (1min), pick up fruit salad and pay (5min) cross street (10sec), take right, walk straight (20sec), cross street (10sec), walk straight (20sec), take left walk straight (20sec), cross street (20sec), walk straight (10sec), cross street (20sec), take left, walk straight (10sec), take right on 1111 Eighth street (CCA) (20sec), take right to A2 café, wait in line (5min), get money out, pay $1.25 for small coffee (2min), pick up small cup (5sec), walk around the counter, pour coffee (30sec), close cup with lid, pick up coffee (30sec), walk outside the building, take a right, cross street (1min), put coffee and tripod down, get my keys out of my pocket (1min), open Hooper 3 studios door, walk up 3 stairs, walk towards my studio number 11 (1min).41min 25secWait.

4:01-11:42pm Put down my bag, tripod, video-camera (1min), say hello to Rachelle and talk with her about her work (15min), go back to my studio, take my laptop out, my hard-drive, cords, video camera and plug them into each other and electricity (5min), sign onto the CCA wireless connection, check my email (4min), Open Final Cut Pro, transfer 10 min video onto my computer (10min), call Danny and tell him about people who have been asking me where you are and laugh with him about our co-dependent relationship and tell him about projects I want to do, ask him where he is at, and if he’s at school then he should come by, he will not be at school, say bye to him and tell him that I will speak to him tomorrow, and laugh again about our co-dependent relationship and call it co-independent, so that he can laugh, too. (20min)55minWait.

4:54:42-5:06:42pm Find Melina’s phone number (5min), call Melina and ask her if we could have our meeting on Thursday at noon, instead of at 4 (5min), sit at my desk and try to write words about my work for my thesis (30min), write a 3 minute script about my life story and then record it (20 minutes), look at the dance video transferred on Final Cut Pro and try to describe it in words/ instructions (2 hours)3hrs 20min

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Wait.

8:16-26:42pm Get out of my studio and talk to Patrick for a bit about what he thinks about communes and if he has any ideas of proposals and places to visit for research (15min), go back to my studio and call Amber and tell her that we should hang out soon (3min), text Justin and ask him if he wants to go out for a drink (2min), pack my laptop, cords, close my bag, carry my bag (2min), pick up my tripod and video camera and head out of my studio, take a left, go downstairs, open door, cross the street (2min), turn right, cross the street, walk straight, take a right and stop at the bus stop (10-15min), get on the bus, get my keys out and show my bus pass (1min), sit in the bus (20min) get off at Fillmore and Haight, cross street, walk up, take a right, walk straight, walk up 7 stairs, get keys out of my bag, open the door, walk straight to my room (3min), drop everything on the floor, get my phone out of my pocket, check for messages (30sec), read Justin’s message (10sec), sit on my bed (5min), get off the bed, get my laptop out of my bag (1min), put it on my desk, open my laptop, connect my laptop to the internet (2min), check my gmail account (1min), check my cca account (3min), look up theories on Uncertainty and other words on Wikipedia (30min), write down some notes for my thesis (30min), check my watch (1sec), put my wallet, keys and passport into a smaller bag (1min), open my bedroom door, walk straight, open house door, go down 7 steps (30sec), take a left, walk straight, take a left, walk straight, cross street, walk straight, cross street, walk straight, cross street walk straight, cross street, take a left, walk, take a right, walk straight, cross street, walk straight, cross street, turn left, cross street, walk straight, cross street, walk straight, cross street, take a right, walk down, cross street, walk down, cross street, run down, cross street, run down, cross street (15min), open my bag, get my passport out (10sec), show my passport and explain to the guard why it’s handwritten and where my date of birth is (2min), walk in, turn left, walk out of the door into the courtyard, look for Justin (2min), talk to Justin (4min), take a right, walk into bar again, wait in line (5min), ask for a Jack and Coke and wait for it (3min), get wallet out, pay, pick up my drink (1min) wait for Justin to get his drink (3min), turn right, walk into courtyard again, find a seat (3min), talk about what we’ve been up to (45min).3hrs10-15min10secWait.

11:26-31min52secTake a right, walk into bar, turn left, walk out with Justin, cross street, walk, cross street, walk, cross street, walk, cross street, walk, cross street, turn left, cross street, turn right, cross street, walk, cross street, turn left, cross street, turn right, walk, cross street, walk, cross street, walk, cross street walk, cross street walk (20min), say bye to Justin (3min), turn right, walk, turn right, walk up 7 stairs, get my keys out of my jacket, open door (2min), walk straight to my room, put my bag down, take my jacket off, take my pullover and shirt off at the same time, take off my bra, take off my jeans (2min), walk into the bathroom, get my pajamas put on the pants, put on the shirt (1min), brush my teeth (4min), wash my face (1min), moisturize my face with prescribed lotion (2min), walk out the bath-room, turn right, then left into my bed (10sec), get up, walk straight, switch the lights off and walk towards bed (10sec).35min20secWait.

Bedtime: 12:02-07:12

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I A c t , T h e n I P l a n

On Today

Not feeling too well in the morning, but realizing that life is ultimately good, I go to meet my best friend in town, Danny. We drink coffee and eat cake and talk and talk and talk. We talk about life, about love, about Barthes, about plans, about making plans about plans, about making plans about making plans about making plans. Danny gets distracted by becoming too aware of what everyone around us is up to, so we head down to the park and sit for a long time talking some more. I say to him that I think I am ready to eat now. Maybe we should go to Safeway. We like making plans and breaking them out of laziness. As soon as we leave the park, I see another coffee shop and tell him that this might work, too. He agrees. We get separate sandwiches. I order mine while he is in the bathroom, all confused whether or not I should order it for here or to go. While staring at the woman in confusion, who is asking me to make a decision, she decides to comfort me and to make one for me. Or at least she suggests one. She says: if you order it to go, you can still eat it here. Number 13. That’s what I want. Turkey, Bacon, Avocado and Swiss cheese sounds perfect. Now Danny wants to go to Safeway to get medication for his allergies. I hesitate about this plan. It’s a five-minute walk, I say. I am not sure I can do that. We do it. We walk for five minutes long (or they might have been seven). Only one minute.. We’re only going to spend one minute there. We go there and spend an hour. We give up on buying anything in there and decide that we should continue talking as if we were still at the park. We walk around analyzing some of the settings (es-pecially the line that separates the organic and natural foods from everything else through green tones and wooden floors also tinted green. Maybe we should go swimming? I need goggles. They probably have them at Walgreen’s though. We observe people making decisions after being hesitant or in search of some-thing for 2 minutes. Then we head outside and I try to reenact what those people were doing in the supermarket. I see a huge tree full of flowers and try to make a decision on which one I should take. It gets overwhelming. I finally pick one, which gives me a nearly satisfied feeling in my stomach, which has been having a sensation of a void. The void is nearly gone. We walk to my house and listen to “It should have been me” and dance to it for a second in a dramatic way. OK.. So, if we want to swim, we need to do some research. Pools are open till 10pm. I decide to make that up, but the internet claims otherwise, and I still don’t have goggles. OK.. Let’s go to BestBuy, then. Let’s talk some more there. We take Danny’s bike for a bus ride. We follow all the instructions to put the bike on the bus. We need to practice that some more. We will. Danny envisions me being 80 with my 60 year old daughter telling her

35

that this person right next to us has the retardations, while my daughter gets angry at me for using this word, but I don’t care, cause I am 80 and I am sick of Politi-cal Correctness, but pretend to just not know any better. We get off the bus, and I decide that I need to train myself on how to walk a bike. It’s hard. It’s hard to balance yourself and balance a bike at the same time. It’s easiest to hold it with your left hand.We arrive at BestBuy and start a long conversation about making a video that is about us talking right now about planning that we want to plan on planning a whole day and never actually make it come true. We walk out of BestBuy to the Mission, and start walking on Valencia Street. We always wanted to have a conversation about art on that street but decide that we weren’t ready for it yet. We walk into a bookstore and coincidentally hear a conversation between a young couple. She: should we go? He: OK. She: Do you even care? He: Shakespeare? The greatest playwright Pause. Of all times? Danny and I exit the bookstore. We stand right next to it, and try to re-enact the whole scenario. We practice it several times. Then we write it down, and draw a map of where exactly we’re standing and what is happening around us. We decide that we will come back here and film a re-enactment about our re-enactment of the bookstore couple. We walk some more and at the corner of Valencia and 17th a woman points at a poster and says to her partner: I really like this actor Clive Owen. He replies: Brad Pitt (actually it’s another name, but I don’t remember it). She says: Well, I like him, too. Danny and I stand. Another woman passes by and says to us: Ummm.. Excuse me.. We make room for her. She passes. Again, we write about documenting this and we do. We draw a map.. Same thing... More things happen.. Yes more things. Days can be long. It was a good long day. An attempt to have a “hyper-conscious” day. A maybe somewhat misunderstood Heiddeggerian day.. I am at home now. It’s Saturday night, and the only plan that I am writing this.

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I P l a n S t o r i e s

E l e v a t o r

Tenth floor. Door opens. Enter. Two men with me. Probably from 15Th floor.Man to man talk. Me standing in front of them, my back faces their faces.

Man1: I hear you’ve been stapling your belt.Man2: True.Man1: I hear it’s a common thing these days.Man2: True, but I do it differently.Man1: How so? I never had the courage...Man2: I take off the plastic, staple, and then cover with plastic againMan1: Oh...Man2: You’re thinking of the wrong plasticMan2: It’s the plastic in the middle, not at the end. It’s different from what others do.Man1: I still don’t have the courage though, but again it’s a commonly done activity.Ding. Ground floor. Enter. Leave.

D e n t i s t

Ding-dong. Door opens. What’s your name? DINA, my sister shouts, she’s asking you ‘what’s your name’.

Oh, it’s Dina.

Sitting. Waiting. Two pale middle-aged women waiting. One calls the other auntie and talks about needles:

Woman1: I’ve been poisoned by needlesAuntie: Nodding, seemingly shocked face.Woman1: It’s a bad country, because WE are bad. We’re evil.Woman1: I’d rather they sell drugs than poison us with medication.Auntie: Don’t say that. Both are bad.Woman1: NO. At least if you want to take drugs you know what’s going to happen to you. But to mix needles with salt and water. That’s just wrong. Even this expensive pharmacy. You know, they should put them in the fridge. I take the plane and I put it in the fridge. I always do. In Switzerland, I put it in the fridge. Stick it in the fridge. They are expired that’s why they cost 750L.E, while they should cost 7500L.E. My daughter’s husband owns a printmaking factory. He knows about expiration dates.Dina, Dina, Dina. Oh, that’s me.Enter doctor’s room..Him:That’s bad. I can’t pull it out. Your mouth is like a piano, you know. Here.. Where’s his number? I thought I pulled one tooth out? Two? How come I didn’t write it on my computer? Hmmm... OK, go see this doctor. He knows about braces. Maybe we’ll leave the wisdom tooth to grow, and just pull out the one in front of it. You can’t live with a piano-looking mouth. Me: What’s’ wrong with that? Him: OH! THAT”S BAD!!!

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I A c t O u t S t o r i e s

E g y p t i a n f a c i a l t a l k

What is this that you’re putting?Oh, just some honey with almonds, lemons. I get girls your age, who are about to get mar-ried. They have some dark spots, so if you break an egg on them every day, twice a week, this should take care of everything.

Ouch, that stings!

Don’t worry, it’s only because your skin is fragile. Who the hell gave you the last facial? You seem like you’ve been neglecting it, which is caused by the pollution and many gas stations.. SAMAAAHHHH!!!! Get Dalia some tea... Where the hell is this girl?SAMMMMMAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Oh, I’ll leave you for 3 hours and come back. It should sting a lot. That’s a good sign.

Ouch ouch ouch...

Back in the room..

Ok, let me get a spoon. I’ll just insert it into your nose to get the inflammations out. Here we go.. These are caused by the ameba insects, of course.Of course..

Ouch ouch ouch

OK, lean back. Please don’t move your eyelashes. Pull pull pull.SAAAMMMMAAAAAHHHHHHH.. Ya SAAAAMMMMMMAAAAHHHHH!!!! Where are the lemons?

OK.. Let me squeeze a final lemon on your eyes. Squeeze squeeze. Ouch.. Well, this is a great reaction; the circles under your eyes are GONE! Perfect. When you are about to get married, I’ll put more honey and ginger on your eyelids. I’ll break an egg, too. But for now, make sure to break the almonds into your eyelids five to 8 times a week once a month.OK!

Please come back. Thank you.

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O n A w i s h a t 2 2 : 2 2 , b u s # 2 2

Waiting for the bus:22waiting for the bus22waiting for the bus22waiting for the bus22waiting for the bus22waiting for the bus22waiting for the bus22Bus has arrived.sitting on the bus22sitting on the bus22sitting on top of the bus22sitting in the bus22I am sitting next to the window. Eyes closed, eyes open. My eyes are now open. And some-one is sitting next to me on the bus22spilling coffee in the bus, coffee being spilled on me on the bus, eating burritos, smelling slim jims, polishing her nails, polishing her toenails. sitting on the bus22sitting on the bus22stopFillmore and Haight. Stop Requested, stop requested, stop requested.. ding dong ding dong.getting off the busbuying slim jims,whileeating a burrito and painting my toenails.

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I G e t o n a n A i r p l a n e

Frankfurt airport:passport arrow B20-656 arrow A20-38 arrow walk up arrow elevator down arrow bus arrow train arrow skylight arrow shoes off arrow. Rest well arrow. Eat salami arrow drink OJ arrow drink water arrow water tastes of salt arrow utter German words arrow daylight rain arrow bird eating building arrow building falling arrow standing in line arrow line unstructured arrow structure the line arrow wait in line arrow no coins allowed arrow no credit cards arrow Danish,Dina Ms arrow Gate 56 arrow bus arrow rain arrow sit arrow sit arrow wait arrow sleep arrow ears arrow gum arrow clap clap clap

Cairo airport.

I G e t o f f a n A i r p l a n e

Not much waiting at airports but waiting in airplanes. Again, I have lost my sense of time and numbers.

Cairo:Ipod out, settings, repeat off, repeat on, music, artists, Feist, scroll down, mushaboom. WAIT.Announcement: walk arrow gate 5-8 1/2 arrow, gate 7 1/2 arrow, miss miss miss, you forgot your jacket turn around, arrow, enter square arrow search me arrow, search me again arrow laptop out arrow hurry up arrow walk into long rectangle arrow, enter the oval and sit right at the end in the middle. wait sleep wait sleep wait sleep. Ipod shuffle.

London:exit oval exit rectangle steps steps steps bus 15 minutes enter maze wait wait maze wait maze laptop out more trays please hello more trays please? Shoes don’t go with laptops separate shoes and jacket from laptop enter square yes search me please walk on walking groups, climb on climbing grounds, bus terminal one and two, announcement ‘tis terminal one and two, it’s one terminal. Elevator up elevator down, escalator up escalator down gate 25-56% turn right and left and exist zero enter maze exit maze enter oh wait passport enter rectangle enter cube enter oval watch ten movies snooze watch ten movies snooze with two bottles around my neck.I said please wait, I said WAIT, the plane is still moving, it has arrived in the ocean, but we tricked you, it’s not the ocean it’s the ground and it’s not a moving ground, we moved the groundwith our plane, but if you walk on your ground we can move it for you.Everyone gets up. We push and pull and push and pull and exit the oval. Rectangle maze maze maze, welcome what are you studying, what school hmmm ok you can go stamp stamp, but don’t staple your visa otherwise it’s YOUR passport you can do whatever you want to do with it, but I’ll unstaple your I-45682 for you. Staple it back!Wait; give me that paper, you can go ha? YOU CAN GO ha? Ha? EXIT, I said. Oh, ok..Surround the walking suitcases. They walk on walking grounds. Here.Welcome to SAN FRANCISCO!

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41

S e c t i o n 3 : ( O N )

I Like Unfinished ArtI Don’t Like Obsessive Arts

I Like, I Don’t LikeBeing as Wise as Nietzsche

Problem Solved

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43

I L i k e U n f i n i s h e d A r t

44

I D o n ’ t L i k e O b s e s s i v e A r t

45

I L i k e , I D o n ’ t L i k e

Influenced by Barthes’s text from Barthes by Barthes, here is a list of what I like and what I don’t like. No one is expected to take any interest in this.

I like:Sidewalks, streets, bicycles, some trees, salt, sleep, dreams, certain words, intuition, pro-grams, Barthes, Netflix, rice paper and cardboard, reading when I don’t have much on my mind, or when I have too much on my mind, fountain pens, a mess that can be tidied up, having energy to tidy up a mess, vitamin C and Zinc, coffee, Brie, Walgreen’s, Cairo taxis etc.

I don’t like:Being in nature for too long, cars that don’t have me inside them, trees on the road to Alex-andria, plans that are impossible to accomplish, long phone calls, reading novels (but this might change), too many sketchbooks, Pelikan watercolors, long car-rides, Safeway etc.

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B e i n g a s Wi s e a s N i e t z s c h e

Do you understand me?!

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P r o b l e m S o l v e d

The problem is trying to commit to one word.The problem is trying to find that ultimate thing that fascinates you.The problem is trying to become specific.The problem is trying to underestimate your intelligence to prove that you can be modest.The problem is trying to overestimate your intelligence to prove that you can be an intel-lectual.The problem is trying to take yourself less seriously but your work more seriously.The problem is trying to be personal but you get far too personal it’s not even personal anymore.The problem is trying to figure out whether I should choose to write “trying” or “to try to” instead.The problem is trying to get them as fascinated about nothing and everything, but they just can’t do it in the exact way you do it.The problem is that they too are trying to fascinate you with nothing and everything, but you just can’t do it in the exact same way they do it.The problem is that for some reason that’s OK.The problem is trying to be certain and not certain, or even certain about uncertainties.