Student blaming tutor Student not being reliable Student guilting tutor to do things Attitude problems Problems you can’t adequately address

Example: attributing bad grades to your lack of helpfulness or knowledge

We know: Tutors are not ultimately responsible for a student’s grades/performance, some students may not have the ability to do well enough (ZPD)

They need to know:___________________

Example: not showing up on time, not having completed work

We know: The sessions will not be effective if student’s don’t uphold their end of the bargain, it’s not okay for a student to keep doing this to you

They need to know:____________________

Example: asking you to do things they know you can’t do, making you feel sorry for them (or responsible for them)

We know: Student is ultimately responsible, you are only required to do what your job requires

They need to know:___________________

Example: refusing to work with you, expressing negative views of you, thinks everyone is against them

We know: It’s unacceptable for students to be rude to you, attitudes may be result of high emotions, student will probably need to change attitude to be successful

They need to know:___________________

Example: student needs to be referred, emotional problems, problems you just don’t have an answer for yet

We know: tutors are not required to be able to solve every problem

They need to know:____________________

We know what the students need to know-

but how do we say it to them?

Assertive: an honest expression of one’s feelings and needs

Aggressive: standing up for yourself in a way that hurts others

Do you ask for help if you need it? Can you express anger appropriately? Do you volunteer your opinions even if

they are different from others? Are you able to say “no”? Why do people want to avoid being

assertive?

Basic – simple statement of your feelings or beliefs

Empathic – recognition of other’s feelings as well as your own

Escalating – becoming increasingly more assertive if other person doesn’t respond

I-Language – taking focus away from blaming other person, and putting it on how you feel

Change your thinking Use good communication skills Practice Keep it natural (be sincere)