008.0 Bells of St Larry

8/14/2019 008.0 Bells of St Larry

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Dear Diatribe;

One thing I am sure you have noticed Diatribe. More than

most, Gerhardstein is amiable to me bringing you into the

relationship. Geeta rarely allows the Tribe to come between us.

I spent another evening working with Richard. I can call him

that, Helen told me so.

He said right away So you bring that thing everywhere, how

do people react?

Not so well, I have to put it down sometimes.

I might as well be honest. I showed him the recording

software.

I just set the machine down and push this button to record.

They dont know that I am archiving their words, yawns and

belches. So, thats illegal. I need to stop doing it really.

After next New Years; when I quit smoking and start eating

right.

Does the recording do you much good?

I am paranoid about forgetting something important, there

is voice recognition software called Nuance on here, it doesnt

work that well, but I end up editing instead of retyping a lot.


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It does a shitty job really. In fact it wont get the word

shitty, that will cause it to slow down on memory and the next

three or four minutes wont even be editable.

The software is from a job I worked a while back. So this

is illegal recording on pirated software. I will turn it off.

Then Get This, Tribe!!! He approved of recording

Leave it on, I think its interesting.

I will just edit this together tonight. (That is now. I am

doing that. What sort of tense would this be referred to as?

Theres a whole bunch more than just past, present and future.

There are ones like poo-perfect. I dont think it is that.)

There is to be more than a jazz show and chatting in this

visit. On this second night with Gerhardstein, he was concerned

mainly with questions about Open Source Pharmaceutical

Development in practice. If I cold quote what it felt like he

was saying, it would be sort of like this.

All right now, have you even thought about the difficulty

this would present in practice. What are the processes? What

steps one would have to take?

Dare I say yes?


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He had gotten through a good portion of the three hundred

and twenty two pages I had printed for him.

I had thought of these things. Those pages were the lions

shares of prose written about the theories. I had shown him a

bit of the more interactive material, but there was certainly a

lot more of that, I showed him that too. He went back and forth

from deep interest in what I showed him and skeptical

interrogation of the efficacy of my

Is it a proposal?

Certainly not

I dont see myself as selling him on this idea, like I was

grant writing or in an interview. He does however have far more

interest in it than I, or anyone, would expect.

Then, what would I expect?

At first, he had a curiosity about something my wife told

him. He wanted to be nice, being interested is nice. Maybe it

was the only thing he found the least bit interesting about what

she had discussed about me.

I know he likes Geeta a lot, and not in any sort of

unseemly fashion. His wife seems to like her just as much. She


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has known them for a long time.

People would immediately say she is like a daughter to

both of them. I dont think they would say that, mostly because

of how clich a phrase that is.

He wanted to take the discussion on from our dinner with

Geeta. But it seemed like he really wanted to hear some jazz. I

can understand that.

On the same note that being interested is part and parcel

of being nice; he was remaining interested in something about me

that might hold the attention of someone like him.

The third level of interest that I ascertained was when he

told me about this big AIDS conference address he was to give.

That was the level that actually both made me feel the honor and

justification of his intrigue; it also assuaged my suspicion of

the authenticity.

So at that point, I am thinking I will provide him with some

portion of his speech. I dont have an idea of immediate value

to the AIDS research community. If this Open Drug thing were a

reality, someday, it could produce some kind of AIDS drug. I

doubt he would be up to jump out and try to make it a reality.

Like me, he probably just wants to inspire. That is what good


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speeches do.

Now we are at a point in our second session of conversation

where he begins questioning the plausibility of the entire

concept. I am willing to suffer this questioning for a while.

Hell; he is my wifes boss and my livelihood in the on-

again-off-again epic of my consultancy. I will entertain these

questions until they stop for some reason, or until my Geeta

tells me to stop.

It is kind of off-putting, but I doubt I will mention this

to her. She could get really unpleasant. She is real excited

that I met him and his wife and I said I liked them; she is

absolutely thrilled that they said they like me. If I raise a

negative vibe here, it ruins the whole thing for her.

I dont know what the hell this kraut wants from me. He

says he likes my ideas, but does he really?

Conceivably he really wants to run with my pipe dream. By

the nature of pipe dreams then, it becomes him. I am used to

advocating Lucifer for myself on the plausibility within my

diatribe content. It seems Satan has Gerhardstein on retainer

now.

Traitor!


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I knew he was a serpent when I picked him up.

I make a joke, to myself, in my own diatribe about being a

devils advocate. I take that joke a few steps out; repeat it

a couple of times. If anyone gave a good god damn what I wrote

in these things, to them I am deranged Satanist.

That would cast an interesting light for folks on my

religious ambiguity. I dont worship the great Abrahamic

adversary. I would go for a Mara or some other religions enemy.

People just dont understand my spiritual doctrine. I

believe in god, I just think hes kind of an ass-clown.

Gerhardstein is playing devils advocate.

He says he loves my wife. He is the seminal paternal figure

in her Chicago life. Her own father is not nearly as warm.

That is the reason enough for me to weather anything

Gerhardstein has to dish out.

This could improve my standing with Rajeev. That is my

father in law. I want to call him Raj and have him say Hey,

Hey, Hey! when he sees me. The Whats Happening program

probably had little play in India.

Maybe he is checking me out. Fathers always sniff around


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their daughters suitors. As a scientist, he wants me to verify

that my ideas pass muster. I fear they dont in the way he is

used to.

We worked for more than 10 hours. Starting at 10:30am

around that piano bar in his house I held true, not attempting

to beg off until about 3:00pm or so. I have an excuse

I need to check voice mail, e-mail, I have to let Pablo the

dog out. There could be a couple of consulting gigs in the

works.

You really dont need to do any of those things today he

rebuffs.

Geeta walked Pablo at lunch

I might or might not need your services for some time.

I hope to any way

Either way; Geeta and I have worked out your compensation

for at least a month.

I said nothing. Speechless is a possible term you could

use. Dumbfounded is another. Off my rap is the way I would

phrase it.


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I have a rap. I am a consultant. Take that to be a fancy

term for a temp if you like, it often is that. People I work

with dont always know that I do little more than temping in a

profession that pays more than ones usually addressed as temps.

It is better for my employers to call me a consultant, just

because it justifies the bill. Not a bill paid to me. They pay

somewhere between $100 and $200 and hour to companies that have

never seen the need to pay me more than $50.

Add it up and fifty per hour is a hundred grand a year. It

is a hundred and two actually. Remember to subtract the possible

three months when you cannot find a gig. Take off two weeks

vacation and nine or ten unpaid holidays. It is a lot less, but

if you are twenty-five and healthy it isnt too bad. Of course

you dont get $50 at that age. If you need to get your own

insurance, but have a preexisting that makes it so you cant.

Then it is not poverty, but not great money either.

Gerhardstein hooked Geeta up with something like $50k,

benefits and her tuition. That is a nice take home.

Ive this rap that I am a busy consultant. I need to be in

constant contact. I will have to take other calls. The truth is

that I would have checked home messages if I left. They could be

checked from the mobile in pocket though. E-mail and all work-


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related phone calls and messages would have come straight to my

hip. Is that a consulting opportunity in your pocket or are you

just glad to see me?

He trumped all components of that rap. I hadnt even pulled

the mobile phone. But I did have to walk Pablo the dog? He was

ahead of me on that one too.

I have been at work all day and didnt even know it.

Geeta pulled the blanket off of me at 7:30, receiving terse

umbrage. She told me Gerhardstein was expecting me by 10:30 at

his house.

I was bitching about 10:30 when this was actually a gig.

What a sweetheart she was for making it that late. Guys this old

start everything before dawn. She wanted to make sure I was at

my best. I will be forced to forgive her. She has become my

agent. She negotiated an engagement and remuneration while I was

unaware of.

Gerhardstein is the boss, he is my wifes taskmaster with a

possibly creepy paternal power over daddys friends little

girl. He co-opts her husband, her familys schedule, and is

ranks above her spouse when it comes to forthright straight

talk.


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He also has the money and the insurance to make it happen.

So I say Yes sir. You can perform any sort of inquisition you

like into my diary. I have never called you a diary Mr. Tribe.

Sorry about that.

At 3:30, after that exchange, he sensed my restlessness and

decided to allow me to stretch and reinvigorate. He suggested we

go for coffee. I could use some.

We walked and talked for about fifteen minutes. He said

that he had decided that Open Source Medicine would be the theme

of his address in Barcelona. He said he planned to talk about

his plans for the New Research Center here in Chicago, but that

if he focused his speech on a report on his career, it would

seem self-serving and the attendants would peg it right on as

being a fundraising pitch. He didnt want to go that way, even

if it was one.

He does not have a new discovery to wow them with. He has

some possibilities in the works, but not something that would

blow away the crowd.

Not having any treatment discoveries, he has nothing to

publish. He wants to make sure he doesnt take the perish

option. He sampled a fictitious speech.


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Ladies and gentleman, I have left Harvard University to

take a better job in Chicago. Any one who cares already knows

that. I am building a new research facility, much like the ones

a lot of you have.

Yawn

They are going to boot me out the door unless I build a

real nice one, since you are all here, I want you to come to

Chicago and help me.

I guess tears would flow, checkbooks would be thrust upon

me. My colleagues would say that they have come to the

conclusion that my little laboratory and the clinic I havent

built yet are better than any other that they have built. I

will need to offer this wedding for them to kiss, as it is the

only ring that I own.

He is not as funny as his wife, but he got a couple of chuckles

out of me. Now that I think about hit, he might have stolen a

few lines from her for that bit.

In a speech like this one, he claimed, that you need to lay out

challenges. Two years ago, at the conference in Durban, South

Africa, he was considered a very challenging figure. A year

later he was made a Director with so many administrative duties


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that another year later; he is nothing but a suit dealing with

budgets and marketing plans.

OK, I will be a suit

I realize what we are lacking in fighting the disease is mostly

what suits produce

Money, ways to get money, where money should be spent, that

sort of thing

So then he stops and makes eye contact so seriously and for so

long, I began to squirm.

He charged into an off the cuff speech that I will try to write

down as word-for-word as I can muster. Although I was squirming,

my attention couldnt have been more complete.

Peter, your ideas are the most articulated in this area

that I have heard. I want to throw them out there and see

if anyone bites. I could take a lot of guff for this at the

University. In case it flops, I will write it off to

eccentric genius.

I would not say genius.

Thats fine, your wife will.


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at an augural moment, foretelling of that I do not know about.

That is the name of the place, hell yeah, look it up.

We continued there. I was going through timelines of drug

development and approval with him.

I start with the US FDA model. It is the most difficult of

course, but we are in the US, so what the hell? I really dont

envision an organization like this fighting the champ in their

first outing. In the end it didnt matter what country it was;

it could be India, Europe or China, the first step is the same

anywhere you would want to do it. You need to have an idea, and

document that you have researched it with other than human

subjects for a minimum of three years.

Minimum is the key here. Coming in at three years makes you seem

a little hurried. They will be suspicious, unless you are

and they are in love with you.

He seems to be passing negative judgment. This could be

kind of final.

So what are the chances of getting something like this off

the ground if you dont have a guaranteed good drug to start

with?


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He told Geeta he would pay me, whatever he is paying, for a

month. Maybe I go should home now. This guy is so smart he makes

my head hurt.

Sorry sir, not a lot I guess. Responds Opie Taylor

Breathe

Bring Muffin to mouth

Sip coffee while pointing in a way that makes it seem I am

anxious to say something of great value, but cant say it with a

full mouth.

Breathe again. Feign that I had chewed and swallowed so

fast trying to get my monumental thoughts out that I needed some

oxygen.

Use these seconds to put words together.

Then speak!

It would require a commitment by the organization, and

likely some sort of avoidance of enemies who lye in wait. The

one thing that was impossible for me to take a good accounting

of is the likelihood of a good enough idea coming from the

academic community swiftly enough to make a splash before the

organization gives up and folds.


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That presents you with the greatest risks and the most

difficult efforts in the whole concept

There are some whoppers in subsequent stages, but you do have to

get there. In that sense, I do agree.

It would be the rarest of circumstance to actually make this

work. You have nearly everything covered on the scientific and

structural end. Neither of those are your professional

specialty. I made a call last night on the legal components. You

wrote over fifty pages on that.

How did I do?

Not bad at all, the contact I had said you probably at least

consulted a lawyer. He said if he was asked to write a report of

that length, he couldnt have done better. In the end several

thousand pages would clear-cut a forest to make the actual thing

happen.

Good to here, I am glad your friend liked it.

I didnt even ask you I sent it around without even thinking.

It is yours to send. It is an open source. I intended no

copyright on the ideas. God knows what I could or would do with

one.


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He smiles

From the basis of them, I guess that is true. So are you an

open source guy? I mean an all-around open source guy?

I havent moved to a pant-less existence. I am still hiding my

underwear from publication without a publishers advance. I

believe in openness as a concept.

I started my adulthood wanting to be a musician. Music is all

open sources. When you hear something, depending how well you

know your instrument, you can use it. If you copy it straight-

up, you are kind of a hack. You have to do something with it to

make it something good. Jazz or classical, you can do that.

Classical you just have to do it like a hard-bopper. You have to

stick to the staff.

Did you get there?

I think I got to the place that, from which you know you might

get there.

I think I know what you mean. Computer work is a very different

path

People say that, Im not sure it is.

You didnt like Helen asking you about why you dont play any


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more. What if I ask?

For you, thats different. You are a doctor, so you would

understand completely. It needs to be mentioned though. You are

a doctor, so you know what not to ask.

That was more than I wanted to say. With a grip on sub-text, it

should be quite enough.

So tell me about this whole, out-of-your-profession

thing.

Tell you what?

You neednt ignore areas outside of your experience.

Everything I dont know lies in that territory. Everything in

the stuff you read were things I didnt know before

I count you lucky and smart for being able to write

something that interests me and my legal friend accepted.

Isnt it better to be lucky than good?

That clich aside, you ran a risk of really making an ass

of yourself by showing it to someone.

Geeta showed it to you

You had intended on showing it to someone, hadnt you? I


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dont know. I hadnt really thought about it

Thats not true. I thought about it, then I couldnt come

up with a good scenario for when and who. So then I would stop

thinking about it.

So you would just write this?

Perhaps I would?

I have been journaling into an electronic device for about

five years now. The content had always been a lot more varied. I

had the first scraps of this Open Source thought almost a year

ago. I thought the concept had some merit, but the few people I

mentioned it to dismissed it right away.

On what grounds?

I think it was mostly because I was talking out my ass. I

had nothing buy sparsely connected thoughts to back it up.

People yap ideas at that level all the time.

Go on

I just decided to make it a real idea. Its and Open Source

idea and I know Linux. I figured it was a start. A have seen

that there are a lot of companies based on some type of

information flow. Even when it isnt a technology company, the


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base of the whole thing is a database; a computer system is the

whole shooting match. Guys like me get called in to quickly

become the untaught parishioners of their trades.

Two years ago I was sent to a hospital while working for a

radiology systems company because the hospital asked for some

radiology expertise. Would you like me to read your CT-scan?

Well I cant really read one, and I have an MD

Exactly

What made you think you could do it?

Write a viable theory, that is?

Didnt know I could. I am on cloud nine now. I feel like Da

Vinci handing his notebook directly to a Larry Bell

Whos Larry Bell?

Hes the founder of Bell Helicopter

Just an analogy that I thought of once

Its related to that Out-Of-Your-Profession thing

Tribal Title: The Bells of St. Larry

I have done this study of great minds for about five years.


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I think about that Da Vinci thing a lot.

What about him?

He did a drawing in his notebook that is the same flying

machine concept the modern helicopter is based on. So one day I

wrote something in here about how Leonardo might do running a

helicopter company. An artist/defense contractor

OK, I see an influence here

A good one at that

I am glad this flattered you. Any idea where you want to

go with it from here?

I think I nailed it. You are interested. If you really use

in this speech of yours, I think I am done.

I guess I would just ruin the whole thing for you

You would just top it all off. It is not my lifes

ambition.

Thats fine, but I might need some help for a while

I am not going to stop working; this is what I do. I would

be glad to help.


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Thats good to hear. We can see how it goes.

I dont have enough hard drive space to save the entire

recording session I did with Gerhardstein. I am going to save

some so I can prove to people that I helped him with the speech.

To pull out the digital camera and grab a picture would have

been far too tacky.

I have no idea what the speech is going to do. We did come

to the conclusion that it was nearly impossible to do. I agreed

with him because I wasnt there to disagree, or be disagreeable.

He really shouldnt have to pay me for a month for this.

There is nothing for me to do once he leaves for Spain.

I was feeling proud, and then I was horrified. If I get

paid for a month, it will just be because he promised Geeta. I

thought you said to was a good idea. That is what I expect to

here at home.

It would be like a girl in her thirties living on money

from her dad. There would certainly be emasculation for any

husband or boyfriend involved. He is not her father. He is the

closest thing to it that will accept whitey being around though.

That is extreme and unfair; the kind of thing I can only

say to the Tribe. Because Tribe, you know the ways that I suck


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and are still supportive.

I did say that, a good idea for someone like me. For

someone like him, it is an interesting curiosity. Her dad is one

of those guys; the Gerhardstein type.

Did she and the Gerhardsteins think I was too?

Bless their hearts.

Not much time remained of stewing on this. Helen

Gerhardstein and Geeta walked into the coffee shop together at

six. Helen carried a newly purchased suit in a bag for her

husband. It was purchased for his speaking engagement. She

unzipped the wardrobe bag and showed us. It was from Brooks

Brothers. They had gone shopping on north Michigan. There is a

whole mile of stuff there that is just, well, magnificent.

If you like that kind of thing

Geeta sat down with me and saw the recording software on my

screen. She pushed the button. It was stopped already and she

started it again. I pushed stop and it became a childish back

and forth. I pointed out her error, she smiled and it stopped

before embarrassment.

There was a pizza place called Medici pretty much next


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store. We finished coffees and wandered over.

A lot of so ho did it go came after that. I just wanted

to change the subject. The other night when we were just dining

together this was a relaxing and interesting conversation. I

thought if I could get Helen Gerhardstein laughing, we could

carry the whole thing away. She was willing to go down a humor

road, but wanted to come back just as much as Geeta did.

So whats next for you too and your plans? Helen takes

the conversation back in the direction of dread. I am waiting

for the let down. With Gerhardsteins polite disposition, it

would be a soft and complimentary descent. That would remain

well cushioned while I am here, but the longer it took to let

Geeta down, the more hope she would have. The let down on her

aspirations could go from a trip off a curb to a fall from a

building.

Your father will be disappointed Geeta

Shit! He is taking it there right away, and pouring curry

on the wounds.

I am going to have to call and tell him that you married

well in your rebellious stage. If you take my advice on this,

your wild oats will provide sustenance for a life time.


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Helen?

She produced a bottle of wine from her oversized bag, a

Ruffino Classico 99. The Classico takes Chianti to a whole new

level. Its not a terribly expensive level, but one to relax and

enjoy. It is the one wine that Geeta especially fancies, that is

from where my knowledge originates.

I respect that they didnt pull out a $200 bottle of hooch.

What is the challenge with finding some good stuff when you make

it clear that you have two c-notes to disperse? Its usually

clear just by looking at you.

As I thought he might, Peter has given me the speech I was

looking for. He handed the bottle to our waitress and gave a

circular point to indicate he wanted glasses for all.

Helen and Geeta applauded, Geeta clutched my hand and

smiled. Since he is leaving in a couple of days and doesnt have

another topic in the bag, he had to go with what I gave him. Im

happy. A months pay for two days work is as good as it gets for

someone like me.

It is getting late, there was more, more work to do, but at

2:00am, I dont trust myself to write it anymore.

Get some sleep Tribe. Being an inert digital representation


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of wandering thought patterns, and being virtually stored on an

inanimate object, must be exhausting.


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Documents

008.0 Bells of St Larry